Lurker > Lorenzo_2003

I went through some fairly significant trauma this week. I was one of the first responders to one of my youth (I'm a supervisor for group homes designed for at-risk teenagers) who was successful in a suicide attempt.

It's been a rough week. Oddly I've been the most put together of my colleagues and they've been leaning on me for strength and support. I think the process my wife and I have gone through has led me to be far more understanding and like, capable of dealing with suicide.

Apologies not sure this is the right topic for this but as TC is sharing thought i would as well.

I mourn daily the loss of an idealized future that we foresaw together. I mourn the loss of the person my wife and I wanted her to become as we aged together. I am a very strong person and for lack of a better, healthier word... I can take it. And I will until my wife gets MAID and is allowed to die with dignity.

There was a guy doing it during a time when no laws really covered it and eventually they convicted him of murder. Since then no one has bothered to try making it legal.

The problem is I work 40 hours a week so sometimes if we need shit done, I'm just at work at that time. If we need more from our landlady I will step in for sure next time because this is ridiculous.

Oiy.

I have an update.

My wife had decided to appeal the decision since she felt she wasn't given a fair second assessment. Without really any warning the dude who runs it all called my wife at 2pm yesterday, said he was gonna come over to chat with her, and then did just that.

I was at work so I wasn't there with her. From my wife's perspective she feels like he cared more than the second assessor and seemed a lot more thoughtful.

We shall see what comes of it.

Lol i lied. Finished off a whole gelato pint and ate a few chips.
Up from 261 to 263 today. Im okay with it.

I grew up with rice so i can put plain white rice down easy haha

Nah, i like to consider these days as refeeds basically or like a metabolism shock.
Like a one step back, and two steps forward approach.

Only gained 2.6lbs from last night watching Jags game.

Ate a whole t-bone before going out. Got a giants pretzel with beer cheese dip. Shared some nachos. Then ate 7 wings. Also drank 2 beers.

Chiclen breast was okay.

Gained like 4lbs from yesterday for my pizza feast. Worth ittttt.

Who knows, maybe my wife will be one of those Landmark cases you hear about.

Decided to break fast after 22 hours.

Part of me wonders if the doctors who need to sign off on this just dont have the balls to actually make that sort of decision (or worse its ideological).

Didnt eat till noon yesterday which is usually eating period, but only 14hr fasted according to my tracker since i ate late new years eve.

At my parents and my brother made primerib so i had to eat hehe.

Happy New Year

Gonna end the year 269lbs. Giggity.

Definitely not how i wanted to end the year but still 30lbs lost in about 4months.
Plan to pick up again start of the new year!!!

I hope you and her had as best a holiday as you could

I'm fucking exhausted. Between work and providing care for my wife, I've basically been "on" since December 1st. I'm really looking forward to my wife coming home with me and us being able to rest. I haven't been sleeping especially well and I've definitely got a head cold.

The main hospital in our city is also a teaching hospital so the neurologists had students with them and apparently from what my wife remembers hearing, they said, "Well that's not good" and then kinda walked off.

It is also true that I will continue to support my wife through this regardless of how much it sucks because I love her and she deserves that from me. I can and will give that.

My wife was admitted to hospital this morning. Lots of vomiting and just not a lot of control of her throat and such. Gonna be staying overnight. It causes a lot of anxiety and stress as it is a very traumatic place for her (as you would expect).

Going to 3 different all you can eat buffets in 3 straight days after thanksgiving probably wasn't the smartest thing lol

Really wanted to eat some beef jerky or some snack last night after 8pm but was able to resist. Glad i did.
Been having trouble getting back into groove snce thanksgiving weekend and the week following it. First day yesterday when i really think i didn't eat too many calories and ate within window.

Lol i still technically fasted for 18hours though.

Lol changed my mind and went to Cicis for trash pizza buffet that hit the spot for my one meal of the day haha

My brother is battling stage 4 cancer. Has been for the past 3-4 years now. His body responds well to treatment but I mean, you can't do it forever.

He has paid off the house and now has gone on permanent disability from work. He did a lot of great work so he has good benefits.

Made it the whole day yesterday just drinking a carton of bone broth and just drinking fluids.

From a personal perspective... I had to watch my grandad in hospital deteriorate over two months. He knew he was done and wanted to go home and die surrounded by his family but was denied this simple request... instead he lay in a bed in a plane white room with no stimulus slowly losing his mind and in pain until nature finally took it's course.

Art is my career goal so I'm a bit biased, but you definitely should. It can be fulfilling and relaxing, and a nice challenge and mental test.

If you want be a bit macabre about it, your wife gets the tattoo, and then you keep that tattoo after.
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-48047002

No updates, just keeping the topic going.

I got a melt tattoo for my wife earlier this year with no regrets. Best decision ever.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/8/7/5/AAAxZJAADx6b.jpg