Board 8 > ITT I Watch Horror Movies During October (Year 3)

(+) Yeah! (+)

We're here again for year 3 of me watching entirely too many horror movies and shows during October! I've had a blast doing this for the first two years, so I figure I may as well keep it rolling. What I do is consume as much horror as I can and then write about it and give it a rating out of 10. It's all subjective, all my opinion, etc.

But this is to mostly celebrate horror, so if anyone wants to post about their own movies they watched or discuss any of them, feel free! Recommend some! It's all for the merriment of spookiness! Hope everyone enjoys this once again!

I started slightly early by watching my first movie Thursday, but I figure that it's fair enough to include here. I'll also post my last two year's worth of ratings here too, maybe to inspire others to watch some of these films. And also so I can keep track of what the hell I've watched in the past two years to avoid watching it again.

So without further ado... let the spooky season begin.

My Horror Movie Ratings For October 2020-21!

The Best of the Best:
Aliens - 10/10
The Conjuring - 10/10
The Descent - 10/10
Don't Breathe - 10/10
Halloween (1978) - 10/10
Midnight Mass (TV Series) - 10/10
A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984) - 10/10
Poltergeist (1982) - 10/10
Psycho (1960) - 10/10
Scream (1996) - 10/10
Sinister - 10/10
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) - 10/10
The Thing (1982) - 10/10
The Wailing - 10/10
What We Do In The Shadows: Seasons 1-3 (TV Series) - 10/10

Must Watch:
The Color of Space - 9.5/10
Drag Me To Hell - 9.5/10
The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV Series) - 9.5/10
Last Night In Soho - 9.5/10
The Medium - 9.5/10
Psycho Goreman - 9.5/10
The Ring - 9.5/10
Alien - 9/10
The Canal - 9/10
Halloween (2018) - 9/10
Hellraiser - 9/10
Insidious - 9/10
The Invisible Man - 9/10
Malignant - 9/10
Oculus - 9/10
Spiral (2019) - 9/10
The Audition - 8.5/10
Black Christmas (1974) - 8.5/10
Censor - 8.5/10
Child's Play (1988) - 8.5/10
Cloverfield - 8.5/10
Daniel Isn't Real - 8.5/10
Halloween Kills - 8.5/10
Host - 8.5/10
I Know What You Did Last Summer - 8.5/10
Ju-On: The Grudge 2 - 8.5/10
The Lighthouse - 8.5/10
Lovecraft Country (TV Series) - 8.5/10
Mandy - 8.5/10
Mara - 8.5/10
The Mimic - 8.5/10
Scream Queens: Season 1 (TV Series) - 8.5/10
Slasher: The Executioner (TV Series) - 8.5/10
Suspiria (1977) - 8.5/10
The Taking of Deborah Logan - 8.5/10
The Terror: Season 1 (TV Series) - 8.5/10

Great:
The Babysitter: Killer Queen - 8/10
Beach House - 8/10
Brand New Cherry Flavor (TV Series) - 8/10
Channel Zero: Candle Cove (TV Series) - 8/10
Come Play - 8/10
The Conjuring 2 - 8/10
Crawl - 8/10
The Empty Man - 8/10
Event Horizon - 8/10
Hellraiser II: Hellbound - 8/10
Insidious: Chapter 2 - 8/10
Ju-On: The Grudge - 8/10
Killer Klowns From Outer Space: 8/10
The Midnight Meat Train - 8/10
The Monster - 8/10
A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors - 8/10
The Room - 8/10
Still/Born - 8/10
Revenge - 8/10
Terrified - 8/10
Terrifier - 8/10
V/H/S 2 - 8/10
Antlers - 7.5/10
Blood Red Sky - 7.5/10
Child's Play (2019) - 7.5/10
Child's Play 2 - 7.5/10
Coherence - 7.5/10
Creep - 7.5/10
Creep 2 - 7.5/10
Demonic (2015) - 7.5/10
Friday the 13th: Part III - 7.5/10
Fright Night (1985) - 7.5/10
He's Out There - 7.5/10
His House - 7.5/10
The Hitcher (1986) - 7.5/10
Insidious: Chapter 3 - 7.5/10
Mayhem - 7.5/10
Nightbreed - 7.5/10
Paranormal Activity (5): The Marked Ones - 7.5/10
Sleepaway Camp - 7.5/10
Unfriended - 7.5/10
The Void - 7.5/10
Absentia - 7/10
Bad Hair - 7/10
The Blair Witch Project - 7/10
Channel Zero: No-End House (TV Series) - 7/10
A Classic Horror Story - 7/10
Devil's Gate - 7/10
Haunt - 7/10
The House of the Devil - 7/10
Let Me In (2010) - 7/10
Knock Knock - 7/10
Mama - 7/10
My Bloody Valentine - 7/10
Summer of '84 - 7/10
Trick 'r Treat - 7/10
Underwater - 7/10
V/H/S - 7/10

Pretty Good:
Child's Play 3 - 6.5/10
Escape Room - 6.5/10
Eyes Without a Face - 6.5/10
Friday the 13th (1980) - 6.5/10
Friday the 13th: Part II - 6.5/10
Fright Night (2011) - 6.5/10
The Grudge - 6.5/10
Lore (TV Series) - 6.5/10
Malevolent - 6.5/10
Nightbooks - 6.5/10
The Ruins - 6.5/10
Scanners - 6.5/10
Them - 6.5/10
There's Someone Inside Your House - 6.5/10
Willy's Wonderland - 6.5/10
Antebellum - 6/10
Bedeviled - 6/10
Cat People (1984) - 6/10
Children of the Corn - 6/10
From Within - 6/10
The Grudge 2 - 6/10
The Houses October Built - 6/10
Lake Mungo - 6/10
The Neon Demon - 6/10
Poltergeist II: The Other Side - 6/10
Prom Night - 6/10
Ringu - 6/10
Slumber Party Massacre (1982) - 6/10
The Unborn (2009) - 6/10
As Above So Below - 5.5/10
Flatliners (1990) - 5.5/10
The Girl in the Woods (TV Series) - 5.5/10
Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight - 5.5/10
One Missed Call (2004) - 5.5/10
Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin - 5.5/10

Below Average:
American Horror Story: Red Tide (TV Series) - 5/10
Darkness Falls - 5/10
Eraserhead - 5/10
False Positive - 5/10
The Gallows: Act II - 4.5/10
Silent Hill - 4.5/10
Halloween Party - 4/10
The Nun - 4/10
Thinner - 4/10
Behind You - 3.5/10
Paranormal Activity (6): Ghost Dimension - 3.5/10
Pulse (2006) - 3.5/10
Coyote Lake - 3/10
Held - 3/10
A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge - 3/10
Paranormal Activity 4 - 3/10
Rings - 3/10

Trash:
The Dinner Party - 2.5/10
The Gallows - 2.5/10
Prom Night (2008) - 2.5/10
The Bye Bye Man - 2/10
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer - 2/10
A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master - 2/10
The Ring Two - 2/10
Sinister 2 - 2/10
American Horror Story: Death Valley (TV Series) - 1.5/10
The Curse of Downer's Grove - 1.5/10
The Final - 1.5/10
The Hole - 1.5/10
The House of the Witch - 1.5/10
The Sandman - 1.5/10
Slender Man - 1.5/10
Slumber - 1.5/10
Unfriended: Dark Web - 1.5/10
Valentine - 1.5/10
Captivity - 1/10
Deadcon - 1/10
Evil Eye - 1/10
Fantasy Island - 1/10
I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer - 1/10
Texas Chainsaw (3D) - 1/10
Things Heard & Seen - 1/10
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 - 0.5/10
The Fourth Kind - 0.5/10
Open Graves - 0.5/10
The Other Lamb - 0.5/10
When a Stranger Calls (2006) - 0.5/10

The Worst:
fear dot com - 0/10

1. Smile (Theaters)

Somehow they took an idea that is kind of a dumb meme where you can't really take it seriously, but they gave us a quality film out of it. I loved this movie.

Sosie Bacon plays our lead who is seeing nightmare hallucinations as a result of a psychiatric patient of her's having seen it prior before killing herself in front of her, and she has to figure out what is going on and stop it before she dies next!

And let me tell you, Sosie Bacon (Kevin Bacon's daughter!) absolutely killed it in this film. Her acting and taking every scene deadly serious is what really sets this film apart. You can try to not take this movie seriously on the premise alone, but this movie outright refuses to let you. Her acting is really what ties this whole movie together.

But that's not all we get that's great in this movie. While it may feel like some mish-mash of Oculus, The Ring, and It Follows, but it all works. The plot is extremely cohesive as we follow the mystery, and all of it actually works out well. It's compelling, interesting, and god is it ever tense.

What keeps it so tense is watching our protagonist just slowly crumpling in front of you. As her hallucinations get worse, she gets worse. She's as unpredictable as the thing haunting her is. And man, they have so many good ideas and so many ways to trick you. I was caught off-guard so many times, and they felt deserved. It's absolutely twisted.

There also needs to be a shout out to the soundtrack and the audio work in this movie, because it sounds impeccable. The music helps suck you in and the audio is pitch perfect all the time. It actually stood out in how well they set everything up.

I left this movie being extremely satisfied. I haven't even touched on the themes of this movie, which help take it to the next level. It's a personal journey as well as some kind of twisted horror film, and that's what I really enjoy about it too. It's a movie worth going out of your way to watch, especially if the concept of it intrigues you and you're looking for something with a lot of great ideas. Big recommend.

Rating: 8.5/10

God I can't believe this movie actually turned out good.

Right? They ran with this weird idea far exceeding any expectations I had about it. I respect the vision so much on this, because they had a lot more in mind than just a cash grab on a silly concept.

2. From: Season 1 (TV Series) (Epix, soon to be MGM+)

You might be saying "what the fuck is Epix" and that's completely fair. To which I say "It is the home to one of the best horror series I've seen, and also some trash, and some good movies." And of course, From is that awesome horror series I was talking about.

This Stephen King inspired show is about a group of people trapped in a single town in the middle of the woods that they can't escape, where they have to survive when monsters who look like creepy humans will murder them if they're out past night.

Simple premise, but there's a lot more to it than just that. It's more or less a stranded desert island premise, wrapped in a terrifying lens. You start out watching this and they immediately throw you directly into shark infested waters with the most grisly shit you've ever seen. You know the stakes right off the bat. And from there, we slowly learn more about how everyone came to find out about the circumstances of this, and the terror of what they lived through.

Harold Perrineau is our lead in this series, and he does such a blow away job. I fucking love his character because you see his entire journey, the shit he goes through, how much it absolutely kills him, and how he still wants to do the right thing. But the show doesn't slack on anyone else either--every character has some actually legitimately good drama surrounding them. Everyone has their issues, and they have all taken to surviving in this twisted world differently. I was interested in every main character's story.

Where this show excels is the sense of dread and tenseness you get when things start to happen. They really do have a perfect one-two punch for the first two episodes to give you everything you need to know and what kind of grisly stuff this show will throw at you. Things just get creepier and more chilling as everything goes on, with strange, strange occurences happen between all of the madness and survivor drama. The world building in this tiny little spot these folks are in is so great, and every episode adds another layer with flash backs or stories from characters. Really, really quality stuff.

I can't recommend this show enough, because it's such a creepy, tense, and enjoyable ride, and it needs more love. Because it's rare that a show like this on a budget can be so damn good and show little signs of it's budget at all.

The best part though? It's getting a season 2! It's Epix's biggest hit and the thing they lead off any self-promotion with is the fact they have this awesome horror show. And it's a good thing they got a season 2, because the last episode really leads up to it so well and I can't wait.

So I would say it's worth the $5.99 to watch this show alone for one month of Epix. Or, if you're in Canada, HBO Max can hook you up! I promise you won't be disappointed.

Rating: 8.5/10

Definitely want to watch that, I really love the premise.

Well, I guess I'm watching Dark Glasses by Dario Argento, which was released early as a surprise on Shudder live just 8 minutes ago!

Oh shit

If you guys don't mind, I would like some horror movie suggestions. Remember I watched all the horror ranking movie suggestions already. Also just watched Saint Maud.

3. The Deep House (Amazon Prime/Paramount+)

I had to get a... sort of found footage movie out of the way early. I say sort of because this movie often switches between found footage and regular filming style.

The Deep House is about a pair of Youtubers in France who go to a haunted house that is fully preserved at the bottom of a lake. Predictably, creepy things happen that make leaving a lot harder as their air supply starts to lower.

So I want to get it out of the way and say that the concept of an underwater haunted house does a LOT of heavy lifting in the quality of this movie. They're scuba diving, and it's actually really cool to see this perfectly preserved house underwater and any and all creepiness involved. It's very well-filmed for the most part as well, and I have no complaints in that area.

Where I do have complaints is that this is pretty derivative of what you've seen in other generic haunted house movies. The idea of it being underwater doesn't really change things here in any innovative ways. When you go into this, you get basically exactly what you expect.

I think the drama in it is... okay-ish? It takes 30 minutes for them to get into the house because they're doing a ton of character stuff for our lead couple. That all was actually good, but like most found footage movies, it's kind of not very interesting when you try to pay anything off later. They did a good job getting me to care about both of them, even if it was at the expense of over 1/3 of the run time with them... not in a deep house.

As I said, the underwater haunted house idea does the majority of the heavy lifting. Between that, the mostly good cinematography, and likeable protagonists, I give it a pretty solid score. If you want to see how they film an underwater haunted house movie, I recommend it. If that does not interest you at all, easy pass.

Rating: 6.5/10

4. Dark Glasses (Shudder... Soon)

So I happened to get home right before Shudder did their special secret debut movie, so I turned it on. Turns out, it was Dark Glasses, Dario Argento's newest film.

This movie follows a prostitute who is being hunted by a serial killer and goes blind in a car accident involved in that. Teaming up with a boy whose parents were also involved in that car accident, they must find and stop the serial killer before it's too late.

When the most interesting part of your movie is the steps it takes for someone to start living life as blind, it's probably a bad sign. Dario Argento just feels like he's forever trapped in the 70's, and this movie just does not feel interesting, good, or entertaining. The acting was solid, but man did nothing work well in this film.

It's all just over the top and cheesy. The editing and "action" was clearly chopped in a way that showed the budget was next to nothing. Nothing is too compelling or interesting. And I just found myself bored more than anything. It's kind of sad to watch a legend make such a lackluster film in 2022.

It gets points for acting and an amazing soundtrack that is common for most Argento productions, but besides that this was a huge miss. You don't need to check it out unless you're curious about it.

Rating: 3.5/10

Corrik7 posted...

If you guys don't mind, I would like some horror movie suggestions. Remember I watched all the horror ranking movie suggestions already. Also just watched Saint Maud.

I may watch Saint Maud again! I watched it early this year. I enjoyed it though and thought it was interesting. Absolutely loved the ending.

I unfortunately lack the bandwidth to recommend anything now because I'm busy trying to watch so much on my end, but if you've already watched them then congratulations! You're as crazy as me.

Considering Argento's last movie was Dracula 3D I am not surprised by that at all.

Corrik7 posted...

If you guys don't mind, I would like some horror movie suggestions. Remember I watched all the horror ranking movie suggestions already. Also just watched Saint Maud.

Are you looking for anything in particular? Or just in general?

Snake5555555555 posted...

Are you looking for anything in particular? Or just in general?

In general. I prefer to not really know much about what I am getting into.

5. Annabelle (HBO Max)

Can you believe that HBO Max has the ENTIRE Annabelle franchise of movies!? I can watch this all in it's entirety this month! Maybe, because this movie isn't very good.

Annabelle is about a pregnant mother who gets a creepy doll that is possessed, and then after she has her baby, the awful stuff happening to her escalates when her baby is involved.

This is literally a movie where they came up with the scene where Annabelle stands up on its own, and then starts floating in the air, and it's really cool. And then they went "FUCK! We need to make a whole movie out of this still." And then you get the rest of this movie.

It isn't very good, but it's shot pretty well and has maybe two cool scenes, and the soundtrack is great. Those are the good things out of the way.

The rest of this movie is just random nonsense that actually makes no sense in a cohesive story of things. Just... stuff freaking happens. It's a mess. It's just what you get when you are just trying to make creepy stuff happen to serve a movie. By the end of the film, I don't actually understand how this creepy demon works at all still. It just arbitrarily does physical stuff, but also doesn't seem like it can do all physical stuff? It can make baby disappear, but also doesn't just do it early on when they're very clearly being haunted? It can somehow mess with radiowaves and stop phone calls from being heard?

There is a silver lining to this, at least, because Annabelle is easily the worst of the three films based on this creepy doll. This just has very little but some brief moments of actually pretty good stuff. Not worth it unless you're some kind of Conjuring Cinematic Universe completionist.

Rating: 3/10

6. Clown (Peacock)

Have you ever wanted to see Eli Roth be a clown? Yeah, me neither. But it was pretty cool.

Clown is about a man who dresses up as a clown for his kid's birthday party, only he can't get the outfit off at all and things get more demonic from there.

This is a corny as fuck movie that feels like a goofy dark sitcom for the first maybe 2/3 of the movie? Then we get to the last part and then it's just a full on dark and twisted horror movie. It feels disjointed but it kind of works to get us more into this family to make a more effective last act.

There's so many parts where I laugh out loud at this film but I'm not sure if it was intentional or not. Peter Stormore is in this movie and I swear he's just taking the piss out of every scene he's in because it's over the top nonsense.

But it's a movie about Eli Roth as a killer clown. It has more quality than you expect, despite a start that seems like parody. I couldn't help but be entertained throughout it though, and when it gets to the last act it's actually legitimately terrifying. I don't know how they really pulled it off, and I don't know how the drama ended up working so well in the last act, but I need to give them props where it's due.

Congratulations on your clown movie Eli Roth. You made a pretty fun one.

Rating: 7/10

7. The Doll (Paramount+)

Well, I may as well get my first absolute trash movie out of the way.

The Doll is about two bros who purchase a mail order Russian bride who is weird and stoic and doll-like. And then she does some murders.

This is a film with no budget and is just awful. Nobody has good acting in this movie at all and the film makes no sense.

Basically, the Doll is just some kind of satanic puppet created by some weirdo and she harvests organs for him...? I don't fucking get it. It's also just nonsense who she decides to kill and who she gets organs from, and she's so obviously weird because she's walking into walls and shit and not talking and they're just like "Uh yeah I guess she's weird."

I think my favorite part was the climax of the movie where every aspect of the film making shits the bed. The sound becomes potato quality and the editing and filming just shits itself and it's difficult to follow what they're doing and everything looks cheap as hell. And the music cuts out randomly at times too. They did this and edited together and said "Yeah this is good enough to finalize."

The guy clearly hits the other guy with an axe multiple times and surely he's dead, but he comes back to try and save the girl while barely looking hurt only to get axed for real this time. And the last scene with the dead people, you can clearly see them moving.

It's just a terrible film and it hit so bad it's hilarious a few times, but aside from that everything about it sucked.

Rating: 1/10

Clown was better than it had any right being. I literally watched it with my brother one random night back when it first came out not knowing anything about it really and it was just a lot of fun.

I haven't even heard of The Doll - looks awful.

When is hubie halloween

Real talk though thoughts on WWDITS season 4

Aecioo posted...

When is hubie halloween

I will tag you when I feel like suffering.

Aecioo posted...

Real talk though thoughts on WWDITS season 4

I loved it! I thought it was a really strong season. Every bit with Colin Robinson slayed me. Lots of memorable stuff in it. I wasn't sure how the Vampire Club would pan out but it ended up being great. If you saw it, you'd know the one episode later may be an all timer best episode of the series. Go Flip Yourself

Overall, the show hasn't worn out its welcome at all and continues to deliver!

8. The Watcher (Shudder)

I was looking forward to this one, a lot because Maika Monroe (who looks like an actual adult now) was in it. It was solid.

The Watcher is about a woman who goes to Romania with her boyfriend, but she sees someone staring at her from a window in the building across the street, and then she suspects he's following her, but people are not inclined to believe it.

So this film feels solid. That's about it though. It didn't blow me away or anything, but it was still a good film that did some creepy stuff with the concept and it kept me guessing whether or not she was actually being stalked literally the whole time. I never felt certain, and I guess that's exactly what they wanted you to take from it.

It's expertly woven in, and it doesn't treat you like a dummy. Everything falls into place and you're often rewarded for remembering certain things and specific details. That said, it feels a bit long, even at its 96 minute run time. Some parts drug on a little bit too much for my liking, but the parts that deserved to spend time on absolutely got the time it needed.

If the concept interests you, I'd say definitely check it out. It's really good for what it is and probably among the best you'll get for this concept.

Rating: 7/10

9. The Belko Experiment (Tubi)

Good ol' murder experiment films. They always get me.

The Belko Experiment is about an office building full of workers that gets locked down and they must kill each other to survive.

I'm sorry, but these kind of movies always entertain me. I don't know what it is. Belko Experiment is a good one I always like watching, with the added bonus of it being crazy unpredictable. Upon first viewing, you really don't know what to expect, and that's a lot of the fun of it. Characters I thought would last longer don't. It has many twists and turns that I also don't expect.

It's incredibly well-directed too. It stands out in how smooth everything feels and the cinematic style they used that makes it a completely fun romp. It makes these gruesome acts and tense scenes all that much better to watch.

I don't have a ton to say about The Belko Experiment, because it's really a simply film. Great directing, good plot, unpredictable, gruesome, and tense. If you need something really fun to watch, give this a whirl. You won't be disappointed in a fun and easy ride.

Rating: 7.5/10

(PS, Tubi is free! They have tons of actually good stuff on there! Also a ton of terrible stuff, but still!)

10. Countdown (Netflix)

This movie is not a good movie, but somehow I enjoyed it a lot? That says a lot for the "evil haunted app" genre of films.

Countdown is about a girl who downloads an app that tells her she is going to die when the timer runs out, or else she's definitely going to die.

Yes, evil haunted app genre sucks like 95% of the time. But this one hits just a little bit differently. They're very well aware they're making a complete nonsense shitty evil haunted app movie and just take the piss out of it any time they can aside from moments of drama. It's this sort of levity I can appreciate here.

Oddly enough, the humor works well. I want to credit the actors and actresses involved, because they pushed through what feels like a very bad script and make something good out of it. In particular, Elizabeth Lail is our lead here, who you may remember from Dead of Summer or You Season 1, and she is a complete delight. Give me more of her in stuff please. What is her agent doing not throwing her at stuff after You became such a hit?

They do practical stuff like just try to hack the stupid app, which doesn't work, trying to do a spell to keep the demon away, which kind of works. But then it has some dog shit side story stuff like a perverted doctor who actually ends up factoring in a lot more somehow?

Please understand I am not speaking of this movie like it has any sort of quality--it doesn't. This movie does not work without this casting and what feels like a lot of ad libbed jokes that worked. But those jokes and being more self aware about this and not taking itself seriously makes for a good viewing experience. So yeah, if you want to see a dumb evil haunted app movie that you might actually have a fun time with, check it out.

Rating: 7/10

11. Spell (Amazon Prime)

Spell is a pretty awesome black horror I've been meaning to watch. Definitely as good as I expected it to be!

It's about a father who takes his family to go to his dad's funeral in a private plane. It gets brought down in a storm and when he wakes up, he's in the attic of an elderly couple with injuries. But things get spooky when they don't allow him to leave.

Omari Hardwick is our protagonist here and he does an outstanding job. It almost feels like his talents are almost wasted on a movie like this, but he's just positively compelling and makes you really feel for him. The rest of the cast is outstanding too and the old couple are completely menacing despite seeming unassuming.

There's plenty of visually disturbing things to see, and chilling moments that help tie the whole movie together with its compelling narrative. It gets very tense many times and the conclusion of it all feels extremely satisfying. I loved how it closed off everything, and it was all a great treat to watch unfold.

Spell is great though, and it does a great take on voodoo magic. Recommend this one here if you're looking for something magic with a strong story.

Rating: 8/10

Stupid question: Does Jurassic Park count as a horror movie? I say no but it definitely has scary moments.

I would consider at the very least the first Jurassic Park movie to be a horror movie.

PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

I would consider at the very least the first Jurassic Park movie to be a horror movie.

Disagree

12. Hatching (Hulu)

We got Finnish horror, and good god is it ever fucking bizarre.

So Hatching is about a 12 year old girl who has a crappy family that finds an egg in the woods. It hatches into the ugliest bird you've ever seen, and it gets quite awful as it begins to grow.

This film, man. I made the mistake trying to eat during this. It was outright gross at a lot of parts. But it has a lot of solid effects that properly evoke the absolute disgust of some of this. Stuff gets outright grim and gruesome at points, and I was sufficiently creeped out as this thing evolves.

The acting seemed solid, and they really managed to evoke every feeling I had about these shit family members. They're so bad it's funny at this point and I couldn't help but laugh at times at how absurdly awful they are. But that makes for a very good story that works throughout the film and until the very end with the parallels of her being raised by her mother and her raising her own offspring as a mother.

I didn't know what to expect with a Finnish horror, but this felt like exactly what I should have expected. It's a really good movie that I feel is definitely worth checking out. It's pretty creepy as you just wait for the bad stuff to happen and you just know nothing ends well here. The ending was also pretty outstanding story-wise.

Rating: 8/10

Tag! I always love following these topics.

13. The Fly (1958) (HBO Max)

I've never seen any of The Fly movies, so I figured I should start with the original one.

The Fly is about a scientist who is found dead in a hydraulic press and his wife confesses to having murdered him but refuses to explain why. They go through a mystery to find out why, including discovering the wife's obsessions with flies.

So I can see why this is a classic. I'm sure it was more interesting back in the day, but this one feels a little dry for a lot of the run time, even with the interesting way they went through it. Yes, I did know the major reveal, but it was still intriguing how they got to that conclusion. It's an older movie, so I give it a lot of leeway there.

But the big reveal? I feel like I just wasn't fucking ready for that. It's absolutely wild, even today. It was jarring, awful, and just shocking to see, even though I knew exactly what I was about to see. They hide it and build it up so well too, and even though it's 1958 effects, my god do they ever still make it look good.

I didn't know about the other reveal that happens later on though. It was actually haunting and that scene was so tense for something so outrageously goofy, but the movie sells you on the concept well enough that you just get sucked in.

It's a really well-made movie for it's time, and I understand how it was so beloved. I didn't expect the key scenes to hit me as hard as they did, but it really did. Worth a watch.

Rating: 7/10

PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

13. The Fly (1958) (HBO Max)

I've never seen any of The Fly movies, so I figured I should start with the original one.

oh boy

The Goldblum one is fantastic. And very different from 1958!

Go see Smile

https://twitter.com/SmileMovie/status/1577327698673864707?t=Ld7sZcqKv6_pV2C11JRtpg&s=19

14. The Visit (Peacock)

I have actually never seen this movie from M. Night Shyamalan. I knew the twist, but I hadn't seen it to know if it was actually well-executed at all. It was not.

The Visit is about a pair of kids who go to visit their estranged grandparents. But the grandparents are becoming increasingly more disturbing and strange.

I kinda hate this movie. I don't think it's good in any sense. The kids are absolutely annoying and I did find them endearing at all like they wanted you to. And then the actual grandparents themselves are... you know, weird I guess but it's ridiculous how they slowly devolve from kinda weird to nightmarish for seemingly no reason. And it all falls apart when you consider that the mom lets her kids stay with her estranged parents and doesn't even really talk to them at all. It's fucking bizarre and dumb.

Then you think about the twist and it's just another lazy twist. It's not supernatural like you might think because they use a bunch of stock demonic screams throughout the movie to make you think it is. The twist is just a lot more boring and stupid. And then after that reveal it continues to be boring and stupid and it barely feels like things ramped up that much more. They seemed afraid to go the whole way with the idea or something. I don't know.

I do know that I did not enjoy my time watching this movie and I do not regret having not seen it when it came out despite me being a fan of all of M. Night's earlier works. And I think this movie actually sucks a lot. Not even the humor works here. Can someone just write M. Night's scripts for him, for the love of god.

Rating: 1/10

15. Chucky: Season 1 (TV Series) (Peacock)

I bet you were thinking "How the hell are they actually going to make a Chucky TV series?" I thought it was bound to be something mediocre, but it ended up being pretty much perfect for this idea.

Chucky is TV sequel to the entire Child's Play/Chucky franchise, in which a boy finds a Good Guy doll possessed by Chucky and takes him home to Chucky's hometown of Hackensack. Chucky then starts to try convincing the boy to start killing, and then murder and mayhem ensues.

I really don't know where to start, because this is such a wild ride. But it's more or less a celebration of the entire franchise, and ambitious as all get out. The impossible task of giving love to even the least watched Chucky movies and weaving it into a cohesive story here is crazy. And it's even more crazy that it's so good.

This is a comedy-horror more akin to the post-Child's Play movies. It balances this perfectly well. It's funny, clever, and the gruesome murders are all there. But it also takes it a step further and gives us a lot of characters with a ton of depth to them, that you can't help but want to follow and root for. Chucky himself is the most Chucky he's ever been. Foul mouthed, evil, darkly humorous. You never see a lot of the shit he's about to go on coming.

This unpredictableness is really what makes this so much fun. I had no idea what would end up coming up in this show from episode to episode, from scene to scene. It's a testament to how well it's written that they can give us 8 hours of Chucky and still surprise or interest us. And then still leave you wanting more.

What I loved was how much fun you can tell they had with this. It has so much heart to it and so much love involved. I'm so happy Dan Mancini got to do his vision with this show, and this really does feel like his finest work. On top of all of that, they do a lot with LGBTQ representation that feels honestly way better than you'd expect for a franchise that's normally schlock, but if you've ever seen Dan Mancini talk about this show, you'd know how important that representation was to him.

There's a twist in the second half of the series that opens up the story so much more, and from there is goes balls to the wall crazy with it. Just absolute madness until the season is over.

Oh, and Season 2 starts soon! You can get caught up and follow the show right now! If any horror show deserves your viewership, it's definitely Chucky. It just gets everything right. There is so much to love about this series. I really do think this is the best thing to come out of this franchise, and it's incredible that it worked.

Rating: 9/10

definitely going to make time to watch Chucky this year.

Guys I think I'm seeing Terrifier 2 in theaters on Thursday.

God help my soul.

16. Aquaslash (Showtime)

So I bet you were curious about how good a horror movie about a killer at a water park is. If you thought "not great" you were wrong because it's fucking awful.

Aquaslash is about a bunch of kids who are going to have a slide competition in a water park, but there is a killer who wants to kill people.

Listen, this movie sucks so I'm just going to spoil some of it. It's really, really dreadfully bad. It's supposed to be a mock of those awful 80's slashers, but it's not funny and it's not interesting and they have these subplots but none of them are enacted upon in any meaningful way. It all absolutely sucks.

This entire movie is the slowest burn imaginable (in which its 115 minute runtime felt like 2.5 hours), and it all leads up to a grand finale. Think about the cool things you could do with this idea with a slasher at a water park with gimmicked up slides. Now dial it back by a million because all that really happens is the killer puts blades in an "X" down one slide and then the slowest payoff happens with people slowly getting sliced into pieces from this one blade in the one slide.

Seriously, it builds to this one mediocre thing and I mean I guess it looks pretty okay? Like the visual of body parts flying down the slide and the blood coming down is okay? But you could have done something a lot cooler with this, but they just didn't. It's just awful. A complete waste of time. Do not watch unless you become morbidly curious for some trash.

Rating: 0.5/10

haha, a 0.5 rating is maybe a bit too harsh, but I agree that movie was absolute crap

17. Sissy (Shudder)

We have ourselves another influencer-based horror. Sort of.

Sissy is about a girl named Cecilia who re-connects with her best friend from high school who invites her on a trip with a bunch of her friends. Unbeknownst to Cecilia, her old bully is there who seems to hold a grudge her and antagonizes her relentlessly. Oh and she's a social media influencer.

So I liked the concept off the bat more than a lot of other influencers, because it showed a mystery for the protagonist and she's also clearly trying to make herself feel better and make her followers feel better because she had trauma in the past feeling less than, and then her old bully is there to keep cutting her down.

And while I did enjoy aspects of this a lot, I think there was just a little bit lacking in the script that kept it from being a really great film. While I enjoyed it and had a good time following our protagonist around, I think when they reveal what happened with her and when the blood starts flying, it gets significantly less interesting. They try to do call backs, but the writing just isn't strong enough to really make those as impactful as they should be.

When things are going down and our protagonist has completely lost it, I found myself not caring as much because I felt like I wanted to be on her side a bit like the movie wants, but I found myself more conflicted, mostly because nobody in this movie is that good of a person? And what should have been more of a plea for our protagonist to want to be loved and accepted and to try to keep being supported so she can move on with her life, the writing just isn't there.

I enjoyed parts, but for the most part it lost the plot for me. If the concept interests you, give it a whirl. If not, you can skip it.

Rating: 6/10

18. All Hallow's Eve (Tubi)

So since I have decided to go see Terrifier 2 in theaters in a couple days because I am twisted like that, I wanted to see Art the Clown's very first appearance in this anthology series. It is a bit lacking.

This movie is about a babysitter who is watching kids who just came back from Trick Or Treating and one has a VHS tape in his bag. She plays it and it has a very disturbing series of movies on it that she can't stop watching. But then weird things begin to happen in the house as well.

This is more or less the Art the Clown movie, but with a bunch of other stuff that frankly sucks. The first short film has him in it a little bit, but it involves weird cult stuff that barely makes sense and is a little too over the top and grotesque for my liking. And then the second one is about a terrible looking alien who drops by a woman's home when the power goes out to take her (question mark). The last one is all an Art the Clown story though, and for the most part everything happening in the framing story also involves him.

The first two suck and aren't even worth really talking about. The last story and the framing story are solid enough though. He's really oddly charming in a severely messed up way. Just a horrifying presence at all times. But at the same time, his segments are really rough for a lot of it. The story centering on him has a lot of what we see in Terrifier... but worse? Like worse in every way mostly. And the conclusion of it is just a little much. And considering how much I like Terrifier, that's saying a lot when it feels a little bit too over the top terrible for my tastes.

It's clear that the director whose name escapes me really took this base for Art and then refined it to make the far superior Terrifier film. There's some good ideas in here. Aside from that, everything looks far cheaper and a lot less well-directed, with some shades of really good stuff in there.

If you've watched Terrifier, I don't think you need to see this. And you especially don't need to see the rest of the shorts here either.

Rating: 4.5/10

19. The Boy (Netflix)

I do not care for The Boy.

The Boy is about a girl who is brought to a mansion to be the caretaker for a doll while its "parents" are on vacation. However the doll seems to be moving when she isn't looking.

This movie is so boring. Nothing happens. Literally nothing happens the whole time and it slays me. And then when stuff happens it's not particularly chilling or interesting. Because it's just a fucking doll that moves around when nobody is looking. I just don't know how they made an entire feature length film out of this because it's so rough to sit through.

I don't actually have a lot to say. I watched this because I wanted to see what in the world they do with the second film since it's on Netflix too and I feel like I need to refresh on THE LORE to get the full cinematic experience.

So instead of talking about the movie more, I'm going to talk about the climax of the film and my experience seeing it when it first came out:

When the doll is destroyed, there's a bunch of weird rumblings like the house is going to collapse. Real supernatural shit. I was kind of interested in what the big reveal would be. And then the mirror shatters and this grown ass man with a doll face popped out and I swear for the entire time that he was beating down the random abusive boyfriend, I was more confused than I've ever been. It should have been obvious it was just a fella in the walls, but I would have sworn to you it was a demon, or some kind of weird ghost of the doll, or anything other than a fella. It took me until they started to run away and mentioned that he was in the walls that I picked it up. I don't know why it took me so long.

Anyway, you don't need to watch The Boy. I give it some points for I guess a couple mildly creepy parts and the intrigue I felt wanting to see the reveal. But aside from that, it's a largely awful film.

Rating: 1/10

haha The Boy jeez how did that movie of all movies get a sequel?

My guy, the creator of this franchise is begging to do a third movie that picks up where the first one left off. I can't imagine believing in this franchise this much.

Oh lol I didn't hear about that, so when do we expect the Puppet Master or Demonic Toys crossover?

20. Swimfan (Hulu)

So while I'm working I usually put on a movie I'm not as interested in or I've seen it already and not overtly fond of it. And then I saw Swimfan and I was like "Yeah, sure. That's perfect for my monotonous task I'm doing right now." I don't know what I was getting into.

Swimfan is about a girl who becomes obsessed with a swimmer and when he rejects her advances she commences life ruination against him.

I remember seeing this movie a few times back in the day. I was not prepared for how absolutely awful it really is. Just impossible to defend. I was expected it to land in the 3-1/10 range, but my god. This is truly just so much worse than I remember.

Our protagonist is an unlikable idiot who immediately sleeps with this girl and we're supposed to feel bad even though he didn't resist at all to cheat on his girlfriend. He flies off the handle a lot and he's got a shady past, so yeah. I don't actually like him. And then the acting from Madison, The Swimfan, is truly, truly horrible. Like I didn't expect it to be that bad.

What kills me is how predictable this movie is. I will tell you that the only scene I remembered was when Swimfan got arrested. The actual only thing I recall from this film, and I remembered nothing else, but I predicted every single thing that happened aside from him immediately giving it away to this girl without resisting.

It makes for an incredibly boring film when you don't care about the protagonist's struggles and you can predict what life ruination is about to happen. And then when you see the actual conflict the acting is so bad that you just blank out because it's the same bullshit too. I found myself pausing and gawking at how awful scenes ended up and what "twists" they threw at you.

The kicker goes with the ending of this movie. Shocker, she's done this with guys before... is anyone surprised? Then he predictably gets Swimfan to confess she did it after running over his girlfriend (while he has an alibi because he's talking to the caretaker of this person Swimfan put in a coma). But then she pulls out an officer's gun while he's in the backseat with her and she kills all of the cops in the car. Then she kidnaps girlfriend. And then he throws her in the water and she's flailing around and it's hilarious before it looks like they're slap fighting in the water and it comes across as so awful. And then she DROWNS because she can't swim, but she took the girlfriend to drown in the pool.

And there's plenty of awful movies. There's films that just flat out suck, they're low budget, or they're just purposefully made schlock. Anyone can make that. But this film had the entire mainstream movie machine behind it. This had a wide release in theaters. Everything about this movie fails. It brings nothing creepy, no shocks, and no thrills. It doesn't even have an ounce of creativity that even terrible 0.5 movies I've rated here have.

I was debating a while whether or not this should be 0.5 or the coveted 0, which only feardotcom was able to receive. I settled on 0/10. There is nothing here to redeem it. I can't even give it praise for anything. A truly terrible film in every sense.

Rating: 0/10

Swimfan is a decent movie.

21. The Orphan (Amazon Prime - Rental)

You know, I find it very difficult to really gauge how to judge this film while knowing the twist.

The Orphan is about a family that adopts a little girl who seems to be kinda sinister and is doing some nasty stuff in secret.

Watching this a second time, knowing the twist and all, this is kind of interesting. It's a film that I feel the twist is so enormous to the movie and knowing it ahead of time kind of takes the punch out of a lot. Which isn't to say that's bad at all--if you haven't seen this movie and somehow evaded all spoilers for it, go into it. It's a fun ride.

But the creepiness still holds up. I felt this little girl was absurdly unsettling for the most part, and the acting there is great. Vera Farmiga in particular does outstanding and completely sells this movie. With a lesser actress, I don't know if this works as well. Kudos to everyone involved. You really grow to hate this fucking orphan girl and you want her to get her's, and I still felt that throughout this movie. I actually didn't think it would hold up as much as I expected, so I was pleasantly surprised by that.

It's a difficult movie to talk about without discussing the twist, but I'll say I think it's still a really good one. It's better than a lot ones similar to this, and I know the first time I watched it, they got me hard with it. It re-contextualizes the whole film and the rezeal in general is crazy.

Shoutouts to the direction as well. It's a really well-shot movie, surprisingly. There's a ton of quality to go around.

So yeah, I give this a strong rating. Worth a watch if you've never seen it. It's even worth a re-watch I think!

Rating: 7.5/10