LogFAQs > #968514510

20. Swimfan (Hulu)

So while I'm working I usually put on a movie I'm not as interested in or I've seen it already and not overtly fond of it. And then I saw Swimfan and I was like "Yeah, sure. That's perfect for my monotonous task I'm doing right now." I don't know what I was getting into.

Swimfan is about a girl who becomes obsessed with a swimmer and when he rejects her advances she commences life ruination against him.

I remember seeing this movie a few times back in the day. I was not prepared for how absolutely awful it really is. Just impossible to defend. I was expected it to land in the 3-1/10 range, but my god. This is truly just so much worse than I remember.

Our protagonist is an unlikable idiot who immediately sleeps with this girl and we're supposed to feel bad even though he didn't resist at all to cheat on his girlfriend. He flies off the handle a lot and he's got a shady past, so yeah. I don't actually like him. And then the acting from Madison, The Swimfan, is truly, truly horrible. Like I didn't expect it to be that bad.

What kills me is how predictable this movie is. I will tell you that the only scene I remembered was when Swimfan got arrested. The actual only thing I recall from this film, and I remembered nothing else, but I predicted every single thing that happened aside from him immediately giving it away to this girl without resisting.

It makes for an incredibly boring film when you don't care about the protagonist's struggles and you can predict what life ruination is about to happen. And then when you see the actual conflict the acting is so bad that you just blank out because it's the same bullshit too. I found myself pausing and gawking at how awful scenes ended up and what "twists" they threw at you.

The kicker goes with the ending of this movie. Shocker, she's done this with guys before... is anyone surprised? Then he predictably gets Swimfan to confess she did it after running over his girlfriend (while he has an alibi because he's talking to the caretaker of this person Swimfan put in a coma). But then she pulls out an officer's gun while he's in the backseat with her and she kills all of the cops in the car. Then she kidnaps girlfriend. And then he throws her in the water and she's flailing around and it's hilarious before it looks like they're slap fighting in the water and it comes across as so awful. And then she DROWNS because she can't swim, but she took the girlfriend to drown in the pool.

And there's plenty of awful movies. There's films that just flat out suck, they're low budget, or they're just purposefully made schlock. Anyone can make that. But this film had the entire mainstream movie machine behind it. This had a wide release in theaters. Everything about this movie fails. It brings nothing creepy, no shocks, and no thrills. It doesn't even have an ounce of creativity that even terrible 0.5 movies I've rated here have.

I was debating a while whether or not this should be 0.5 or the coveted 0, which only feardotcom was able to receive. I settled on 0/10. There is nothing here to redeem it. I can't even give it praise for anything. A truly terrible film in every sense.

Rating: 0/10