Lurker > KogaSteelfang

These topics seem cursed. Looks like everyone who tries their hand at it ends up having bigger life issues pop up to delay everything. Sorry you're dealing wth so much, hopefully you can things settled soon, and don't worry about this for now.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

LinksLiege posted...

I don't think I'm good looking but apparently a lot of people disagree. >_>;

^That.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

catboy0_0 posted...

Slip-N-Slide posted...

He went out of his way to say something and I agreed with it. How's that reminding him of something he himself just stated? Telling someone they're right when they say something isn't reminding them of it.

you don't seem to understand or care to so I'll just forgetti aboutit

Yeah, just let it go. It's fine.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

Slip-N-Slide posted...

SpoiltTrouser posted...

KogaSteelfang posted...

I'm a virgin, but I blame myself for being awful, pathetic, and generally not worth anyone's time. There's no reason anyone would choose to be with me.

yup

^

No need to remind how much I'm hated, I get it.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

I'm a virgin, but I blame myself for being awful, pathetic, and generally not worth anyone's time. There's no reason anyone would choose to be with me.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

I didn't really care for the new Kong movie. Cared less for the Godzilla one because for whatever reason they decided to focus almost the entire movie on a bunch of unlikable characters, instead of the few likable ones they had and he monsters. Still, this one looks promising, but I've been duped by trailers before. I'm sure I'll end up going to see this one too though.

My cousin's reaction when I showed him the trailer: "Wow, I didn't know there were other monsters in the Godzilla movies!"
>____________>
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

People tend to guess 18-24 for me, mostly 21-22 though. It's pretty rare to be mistaken for a teen, but it does still happen occasionally.

Funny story, my brother looks older than he is, and I look younger. He was once mistaken as my father, despite only being 2.5 years older. That pissed him off pretty badly, which was funny at the time because he was being a bit of a jerk. I think it would suck though to be mistaken for much older than you are.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

It's fairly rare now, but I do still occasionally get mistaken for a teen. Most people guess low 20's though, so it won't last much longer I think. Not bad for a guy in his mid 30's.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

I've been doing ok recently, since things are going well at my job and my family hasn't been too horrible. Still, I can feel it starting to kick in again anyway. I'm so tired of this.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

Spiders, heights, interacting with other people.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

g980 posted...

KogaSteelfang posted...

2/3
Silver ball box doesn't factor in.
So it's just a box with 2 gold, and one with a gold and silver, so 4 balls remain with one being silver. You removed one gold ball, leaving 2 gold and a silver left in the boxes. With no other info, the chances of getting another gold ball are 2/3.

Right answer, wrong reason. Youre pulling from the same box the second time

I know it's the same box, the only balls left are 2 gold and 1 silver. The odds you're pulling out another gold ball, even from the same box is still 2/3. There's no way to know which box you're pulling from until after you pull the second ball, so you just have to look at the odds of the remaining balls and not the boxes.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

2/3
Silver ball box doesn't factor in.
So it's just a box with 2 gold, and one with a gold and silver, so 4 balls remain with one being silver. You removed one gold ball, leaving 2 gold and a silver left in the boxes. With no other info, the chances of getting another gold ball are 2/3.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

LeetCheet posted...

Zero

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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

I'm not a chubby chaser or anything, but I wouldn't be opposed to dating a bigger gal.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

Aye posted...

Dyinglegacy posted...

Maybe tap into that doctor side and cure one of these CEmen of their incelism.

Actually, don't do that. Probably a bad idea lol

Koga X Coffee

Even if she knew me in person, there's no way she'd go for that. It was nice to see it suggested though.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

This isn't a surprise at all, imo.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

I'm giving cbt another try myself. Recently bought a book that can help get you set in a routine of replacing bad thoughts with good. It didn't really stick when I was in therapy.

Anyway, I hope you manage to get in contact with someone who can help you. It really sucks that you're struggling to get in contact with anyone actually useful.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

Yeah, I'm not worth being with, so no one has ever been with me. I'm just going to be alone for the rest of my life.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

>_>
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

Zero. I know, big shocker.

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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

Pretty much, there were a few days a while back when I didn't. And 2 weeks when I didn't have internet around that same time, but otherwise I'm generally basically always here unless I'm asleep.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

Master_Bass posted...

I'm not.

This, I eat mostly junk food and don't get much exercise at all. I really lucked up in that department, but I feel that will begin to change soon, I want to start excercising but I have like 0 motivation.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

Oh, I thought you had already published some books. That explains why you didn't answer when I had questions a while back about the publishing process. That or I'm on ignore, idk.

I say go for it, if it's a dream of yours it won't happen by just writing them and tossing them in storage. Everyone starts somewhere, and publishing them is the next step towards success.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

Actual reason: To honor the reincarnation of the goddess Hylia, who after being reborn just happened to be named Zelda and the daughter of the ruler. To honor her, all kings after that named their first daughter Zelda.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

Only everyone I've ever liked.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

I don't even know any more. I can only speak for myself, and my word isn't worth much here any more. I don't hate women or resent them not wanting to be with me, it makes me resent myself instead. It's just irritating, and frustrating that I'm such a piece of shit that no one would ever want anything to do with me.

I know I do have some mental issues to work out, but I wouldn't say they're caused by the lack of sex or intimacy/love. That just seems to cause more frustration that I don't want to deal with, especially with so many other guys on here talking about their own sex lives. I've been trying to not talk this stuff as much recently though, I know everyone hates it when I do... broken record and all that.

Almost everyone else just makes it look so easy, and acts like it's just some normal activity. It's a sensitive subject, and it often leads to me becoming agitated or frustrated when it keeps being brought up, or seeing people brag about it, or for it be something to be made fun of.

Doesn't even matter in the end. I'm just going to be alone forever then die, probably to the cheers of family and everyone here anyway.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

Unquestionably a loser.
Basic job, live with family, high school education, no friends, never had a gf or sex and I'm over 30. Everything I attempt to do ends up failing or backfiring. I'll never achieve any of my goals, I'll never amount to anything, and I'm not even worth talking to.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

I try not to openly, I'm really good at masking my emotions around people. Privately though, I do cry sometimes, life can be too much to handle at times. Rarely I will around my family if things get to the point where we're airing out how we feel about each other, usually during a very heated argument, and I'll go ahead and just unload everything then including being an emotional wreck and crying too.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

They don't. I'm tolerated for being nice and generous, which makes easy to manipulate.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

>_>
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

I'm not sure that's possible for me. There was one that maybe was once, but it was just because they had a virgin fetish if they were at all.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

MedeaLysistrata posted...

Also @KogaSteelfang if you think of life in terms of having things to live for you will always be disappointed because other things in the world don't exist specifically for you, especially when it comes to other people. idk, I know the advice is pretty pointless but still.

I didn't mean to imply that I think things and people exist specifically for me, I just want more out of life than I have. That includes having friends and relationships is all. As it is now, I don't have anything that enriches my life, just distractions to pass the time.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

Absolutely. I don't have anything worth living for. Lost basically all of the friends on here, no one in my actual life cares about me. The only thing I've got going for me is being decent at my job, which just means I can afford more games and movies that I won't have time to play/watch...
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

I know the feeling, I hope things improve for you soon.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

That's tough to say, I want to say that it would, but I'm not sure. My family has never had much money, but there were a few times when things did improve financially and my family ruined it all. Even though that happened, our relationship didn't change over it.

Some examples... When I turned 18, I got a settlement payment from the car accident that nearly killed us all. I got the largest settlement because I was hurt the worst of everyone involved. So I had to take over payments on the property my parent's were buying at the time, which I didn't mind doing too much since it gave me a place to live. Then my dad secretly told the people selling us the property to sell off the other two parts that went along with the main property(each other property was supposed to go to my brother and me). I didn't even realize that my brother's and my parts were sold until other people started working the fields there. I'd just been giving my dad enough money to make the payments, so he got them reduced by getting rid of 2/3rds of it... He was bleeding me dry and I was too stupid to realize it.

Then one day he came home demanding that I give him $5,000 because he wanted a new horse trailer. I refused, and he literally spent months doing nothing but pestering me and cussing me over that money until I couldn't stand it any longer. I gave it to him just to shut him up, and he bought one that was only $2,400 instead. I asked for the rest of my money back and he just laughed in my face.

Most recently, back in November when I quit my last job, he showed up at my door one day demanding $800 for a car he wanted. I told him to wait till he gets his next check(just a day or two later which would be $700). Instead he pushed his way into the house and started throwing insults about me being greedy and selfish and never helping him. He promised to pay me back with his upcoming check if I just gave the money then. So I did, knowing I'd never see any of it again. He dragged me along to pick up the other vehicle, and he told the people he was buying it from that I was a lazy, worthless, no account leech because I didn't even have a job and he had to "make" me help him.
Anyway, he got the car, and his check the next day, and I got nothing. After a few months of arguing with him, he did give $200 back, but said he didn't feel he owed more than that and that I was an awful son.

So all in all, unless I can grow a spine, he'd absolutely destroy any amount of money we got even if it was some huge payout. He does my mom the same way too. We're just used to it now, so I'm not sure it actually would cause problems or not. Hopefully if I ever come into money again I'd be smart enough to just hightail it away from this place and never look back, that's what my brother did.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

SpiralDrift posted...

KogaSteelfang posted...

I'm currently staying with my mom at her friend's house. When we first moved in here, there was always someone sneaking around the house at night, so things were a bit tense each night wondering if they'd try to get in.

Anyway, I'm guessing that's what triggered this dream. In the dream, I was out in the yard in the middle of the night. Just sort of scoping things out from under a light pole in the yard. That's when a big shadow appeared and loomed over me. Something had leaped onto the light pole above me, I looked at its shadow and saw it had a bunch of writhing tentacles all over. So I slowly ducked down to avoid being seen by it and just sat there. That's when something approached me from behind, before I could react it had put my hood up over my head and grabbed me around the neck. It picked me up into the air and began walking towards the house, still carrying me by my neck. As we approached the door, it said "Foolish human, you can't fight against your fate."

That's when I woke up in a panic. lol
It felt so real. I could've sworn I still felt the pain in my neck. It's the first time in a long time that I was legit freaked out by a dream.

Were you unhappy about the move? The creature could represent your mom or whomever necessitated the move, or even life in general, forcibly taking you to that house.

Probably was more about life in general, moving here was fantastic, but now we've gotta leave by August. :/
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

Another one from long ago. In this one i lived in some type of building in the ocean, it was built on stilts and "floated" on top of the ocean. I ran a shop there and for doing so got free room and board. It was great and fun, until one day a storm hit which snapped one of the stilts, which tilted the whole building sideways before snapping the other ones. Everyone was scrambling to climb out when it just collapsed into the ocean. I was still caught indoors as I couldn't climb out fast enough. Everything was spinning around, the room turned upside down, junk was flying everywhere. Then suddenly I was underwater with no idea which way was up or where the exit was, it was just total darkness and I was being dragged down to the bottom of the ocean, and I just knew it was the end.

Then I woke up from that, relieved to have air to breathe.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

Paul Walkr
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

I'm currently staying with my mom at her friend's house. When we first moved in here, there was always someone sneaking around the house at night, so things were a bit tense each night wondering if they'd try to get in.

Anyway, I'm guessing that's what triggered this dream. In the dream, I was out in the yard in the middle of the night. Just sort of scoping things out from under a light pole in the yard. That's when a big shadow appeared and loomed over me. Something had leaped onto the light pole above me, I looked at its shadow and saw it had a bunch of writhing tentacles all over. So I slowly ducked down to avoid being seen by it and just sat there. That's when something approached me from behind, before I could react it had put my hood up over my head and grabbed me around the neck. It picked me up into the air and began walking towards the house, still carrying me by my neck. As we approached the door, it said "Foolish human, you can't fight against your fate."

That's when I woke up in a panic. lol
It felt so real. I could've sworn I still felt the pain in my neck. It's the first time in a long time that I was legit freaked out by a dream.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

Looking good, man.
I might post one later if I can figure out how to get imgtc to imbed them still.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

Not any more, my brother took it when he got married and moved.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

With people I'm very close with, yes. I'm very much a goofball and jokester, and often make people smile or laugh.

In general though, not really, I'm too afraid of embarrassment to open up like that around people. And it takes a very long time to become comfortable enough to joke with people, and it often catches them off guard and makes things awkward. So I tend to stay pretty matter of fact with people I'm not close with. That includes online interactions, where I'm mostly either just boring, stating an opinion, or complaining. >_>
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

Yeah, tons.
I got lots of cuts, scrapes, and burns as a kid. most of those left scars.
Bigger ones include a 2-3 inch long one on my foot after I stepped on a broken bottle my neighbor's tossed into our yard. Sliced my heel wide open, and my mom wanted to take me to get stitches, but dad refused. It healed fine aside from the scar though.
Another is from major surgery I had when I was 9, it goes from just above my belly button, around the belly button like a ? Mark, and all the rest of the way down my belly.
I have a small divot in the side of my nose, it's from a time when I was stung by a swarm of bees(few hundred hornets) and somehow only one left a scar where it took a chunk out of my nose.

I really don't care about scars though, unless it was a major one on the face or something.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

Jeez, if she didn't want to split it she never should've put his name on it. If it was because he was lucky and she wanted to bank on that, then it worked because of him. Splitting it is perfectly fair.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

Mom - Mixed bag. I love her dearly, and she's literally the only person that actually cares about me at all. Though sometimes we don't get along at all, and during those periods we really can't be around each other much. Other times I question if she really does care about me, because I'm treated more like an extension of herself rather my own person, and she knows exactly how to guilt me if I don't do as she pleases. She's a good person at heart, but emotionally manipulates me a lot, and when I get fed up with that it causes issues. For the most part though, we get along really well as long as things are going her way.

Dad: He hates me, despises me, wants me dead. I'm not too fond of him either, I don't exactly want him to drop dead, but I wouldn't really be too upset if he did. I try my best to get along with him, I'm polite and do him favors all the time, give him money when he needs it. He's tried to kill me, and my mom several times, used to beat us both, etc. He always told me he wished I'd die and that I was worthless to him and everyone else.

His birthday was the 3rd, and I bought him dinner while my mom made him a cake. All he did when we brought it to him(my mom and I are living elsewhere for now) he ate it, then cussed at my mom because he thought the cake tasted like shit(it was actually really good) and insulted me for being worthless again. We stayed to visit with him, but got nothing but insults thrown at us until we left. The last time I spent a full day with him ended with a huge argument between me and him, and I ended up having to secretly stay at a hotel that night because he was threatening to shoot me in the head in my sleep, and it was serious enough that we believed he would.

He's an awful, evil man. I just my best to keep the peace, but me being alive is enough to set him off sometimes.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

No, and the fact that I've gotten almost no female attention in my life proves it. When people say otherwise, it's just pity.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

I think I would, I don't tend to react to danger like most people and I don't feel like my life has any value anyway. So I don't really why I wouldn't.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

I was going to stream something earlier, but couldn't decided if I wanted to use the camera or not. Then when I decided to play monster hunter world, it kept giving an error. I just decided not bother at all today. :/

Also, maybe I'm just dumb, but how do you "follow" people? I'm using the twitch app and the only option I see is to send a friend request.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang

I have so many I could tell, but they're mostly all super depressing, I'll choose one a bit sillier.

At my last job, as an attendant at an interstate rest area, I worked the overnight shift. One night I step outside to check on things and see a guy on all fours digging around in the bushes. I ask if he's ok, and he gets up and starts demanding that I give him the mushrooms that were harvested in the bushes. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about, but he kept insisting that I had taken all the mushrooms for myself and that I had to give them to him since it was public property.

Eventually I manage to convince him that I don't have them, so he keeps asking for a ride to the next town. I tell him I'd be fired for leaving during my shift, and he insists that its my responsibility to take him to the next town. That once my shift is over that he is going to be waiting in my car and I'll have to take him. By this point I'm getting really frustrated and creeped out by him, so I go inside.

Then he's banging on the door asking to use the microwave. He had somehow gotten a container of chicken from somewhere and wanted it heated. I reluctantly agreed, and while he was eating his chicken, he was telling me about the RV he lives in the mountains with his extraterrestrial friend. That his friend comes down from space where he lives with Jesus to spend time with this guy on Earth, and that the alien is by far the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in his life and that one day he's going to go to space and meet Jesus himself.

The last time I saw him he was wandering off into the darkness of the unlit field next to the rest area. I thoroughly checked my car before leaving the next day.
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Switch FC: SW-3227-7104-3140. PSN: Grindpantera
Twitch.tv/kogasteelfang