Board 8 > Anagram ranks 153 waifus nominated by Board 8: The Topic

(+) Yeah! (+)

137. Trixie
https://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/disney/images/9/92/Trixie.png/revision/latest?cb=20161223202320
Origin: Country Bear Jamboree
Nominator: Raka_Putra
Looks: 2
Personality: 48
Projected Wife Capacity: 52
Overall Score: 34

I could find very little information on this waifu. I’ve never seen her movie and I’ve never heard of this theme park. This is also where the oddities of my ranking system begin to crop up, because if I’d just ranked these in a big list all at once without creating a complicated point-based system, I can’t imagine that Trixie would be above Chloe or Marisa.

Trixie’s failing is almost entirely her looks. She’s an overweight bear, and no matter how good everything else about her may be (and really, the rest was just average), you aren’t overcoming a problem like being an overweight bear, I’m sorry.

Personality-wise, she’s “sweet, sensitive, demure, often sad.” Sweet is good, but as we get into the higher rankings, you’re going to find that my kind of waifu is not so much the demure, softspoken kind. And I’ve known girls who are overly sensitive to things, so I had to dock her a few points. She still manages to achieve near averageness, though.

Trixie actually is the first waifu on the list to have an above-average score in something, even if she only narrowly manages it. She can hold a steady job, she’s very talented, and she’s even a writer. At the very minimum, it’s clear that she can manage a relationship competently.

Sorry, Trixie, but look on the bright side: I went this entire write-up without making a single bear pun.
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Anagram posted...

I’ve never heard of this theme park

You haven't heard of Disneyland or Disney World?

Jesse_Custer posted...

Anagram posted...

I’ve never heard of this theme park

You haven't heard of Disneyland or Disney World?

That's from Disneyland? Where in Disneyland is that monstrosity? I assumed it was from some weird nonsense amusement park.
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Anagram posted...

Jesse_Custer posted...

Anagram posted...

I’ve never heard of this theme park

You haven't heard of Disneyland or Disney World?

That's from Disneyland? Where in Disneyland is that monstrosity? I assumed it was from some weird nonsense amusement park.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Country_Bear_Jamboree

Technically, it's a former Disneyland attraction, but still at DW.

Jesse_Custer posted...

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Country_Bear_Jamboree

Technically, it's a former Disneyland attraction, but still at DW.

I went to Disneyland many times as a kid (I live semi-close to it) and have zero memory of these things. Bizarre.
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Anagram posted...

Nominator: Raka_Putra

Excuse me, what?
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Raka_Putra posted...

Anagram posted...

Nominator: Raka_Putra

Excuse me, what?

Apparently I misread my Excel sheet, sorry. The actual nominator for Trixie was Great_Paul.
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136. Ruka Urushibara
https://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/steins-gate/images/8/8e/Ruka_profile.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20110629082940
Origin: Steins;Gate
Nominator: tazzyboyishere
Looks: 30
Personality: 30
Projected Wife Capacity: 45
Overall Score: 35

Another of our trap entries, Ruka is “more girly than any girl, more feminine than any female.” Well okay then. I know nothing about Steins;Gate, which makes this a strange introduction.

Looks-wise, Ruka has the very traditional Japanese dress going on, a hairclip, and good wavy hair. I’d probably give this appearance over 50 if it wasn’t on a dude. For that, I’m forced to dock a large number of points.

Personality-wise, however, Ruka is “very sensitive and emotional,” and “very simple sudden responses can cause him to cry or tremble.” God, no. I don’t want to have to worry about any random thing I say setting someone off.

PWC, I imagine Ruka would be able to handle a lot of relationship duties you would want in a waifu, but again, being a dude costs him a ton of points.

Ultimately, Ruka is just too much a husbando to be a proper waifu. Sorry, broseph.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdwR2jiADE0
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This homophobia is pretty unsettling tbqh.
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WhiteLens posted...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdwR2jiADE0

Dude.

tazzyboyishere posted...

This homophobia is pretty unsettling tbqh.

To quote Seinfeld:

"The female body is a work of art. The male body is utilitarian. It's for gettin' around. It's like a Jeep."

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to be fair there is an alternate timeline Ruka where he becomes female

you could rank based on that version
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LeonhartFour posted...

to be fair there is an alternate timeline Ruka where he becomes female

you could rank based on that version

Is that a proper alternate timeline or an alternate dimension? Because the latter is a different character. And if it is an alternate timeline, from I read in the Wiki, Ruka's personality is largely about insecurities from not being a girl, so that's still basically a different character, isn't it?
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Alternate timeline.

Part of the premise of Steins;Gate is that the main cast accidentally invents a way to send messages into the past which result in changes to the timeline.
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Anagram posted...

Raka_Putra posted...

Anagram posted...

Nominator: Raka_Putra

Excuse me, what?

Apparently I misread my Excel sheet, sorry. The actual nominator for Trixie was Great_Paul.

I was wondering when Raka became one of the Bear Bros.

xp1337 posted...

Alternate timeline.

Part of the premise of Steins;Gate is that the main cast accidentally invents a way to send messages into the past which result in changes to the timeline.

That's an interesting premise, but for this topic, I think that's a bit too close to a different character altogether to count.
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it is most definitely the same character

100% canonically so
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It's still the same person. I mean, yes, if you flip a person's gender, there will be some changes almost by default, but it is definitely not a separate character.
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Fair enough, then. I think I still want to use the 'main' versions of characters, though.




135. Katherine Pulaski
https://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/memoryalpha/images/9/96/Katherine_Pulaski.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20121204025419&path-prefix=en
Origin: Star Trek
Nominator: Jesse_Custer
Looks: 26
Personality: 38
Projected Wife Capacity: 46
Overall Score: 36.7

Weird note: Diana Muldear actually played a character on TOS.
https://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/memoryalpha/images/d/d4/Miranda_Jones.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20080528214527&path-prefix=en
I guess this proves that Pulaski was never hot.

In terms of looks, I mean, there are hot old women out there, it’s true, but she’s not one of them. And I’m hard-pressed to think of an example, actually. She is blond, which is a major plus for me, but that’s all she has going for her. Even her hair is like the most 80s hair ever.

In terms of personality, she’s not actively unpleasant to other humans, but to Data she’s a stone cold *****. She endlessly questions his humanity and even has to be corrected on how to pronounce his name. He’s the third officer of the Federation flagship and the only android in the fleet and the only person on this ship you aren’t qualified to treat and you didn’t bother to learn his name? On the bright side, Pulaski is shown as being willing to use ‘older’ types of medical treatments, like tourniquets (something that would disappear as the series went on, in that the writers just ignored things like no one knowing was tourniquets are and doctors not knowing how to treat colds), so I get the feeling that a connection could be made despite the differences in our eras.

As for her PWC, she works as a doctor, which means steady and important job, and while she’s usually away on space adventures, Enterprise does come back to Earth or its colonies with irregular frequency. I think it wouldn’t be too bad.

Still, Pulaski gets a low score. Sorry, Doctor, but you aren’t even the best female doctor in the show.
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Bump for later
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134. Touka Oone
https://myanimelist.cdn-dena.com/images/characters/2/119102.jpg
Origin: Sharin no Kuni
Nominator: PlasmaKappa
Looks: 59
Personality: 34
Projected Wife Capacity: 23
Overall Score: 39.3

Touka is the class president, but is also somehow the worst student and is prone to careless mistakes. Due to a problematic relationship with her mother, she suffers from an unreasonable schedule and seeks small ways to rebel. Also I’m like 80% sure the thing she’s from is a porn, but I couldn’t actually confirm it.

Looks-wise, Touka is alright. There’s a better picture of her that I based her score on, but it’s a little too racy for GameFAQs. I feel very conflicted about judging high schoolers, but I guess for purposes of this I have to. Thanks, Japan. I really appreciate that.

Personality-wise, Touka is brash, has no patience for the protagonist’s behavior when he tries to help her, and acts violently. Some of this isn’t really her fault, and seems to be the result of her unreasonable mother making her life difficult, but in the end all of these things still apply to her. No thanks!

She’s prone to careless mistakes both physically and mentally. Can I just take a second to say how much I hate the trope of clumsy girls? I don’t get why it’s so common. Is it just a way to give a girl a flaw without making her less sympathetic? Because that’s my theory. Regardless, making endless small mistakes is not a useful trait in a waifu. Even normal people lose the remote a lot, can you imagine someone who’s specifically careless?

Regardless, Touka Oone, you are not a solid waifu. I hope the other waifus in your VN are better than you.
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Anagram posted...

I hope the other waifus in your VN are better than you.

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th3l3fty posted...

Anagram posted...

I hope the other waifus in your VN are better than you.

Bad taste in games, but at least she has a sense of humor about it.
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133. Ryo Azizuki
http://www.project-imas.com/w/images/2/2c/Ryo-wezchwartsDS02.jpg
Origin: The Idolm@aster
Nominator: tazzyboyishere
Looks: 30
Personality: 50
Projected Wife Capacity: 40
Overall Score: 40

You know, most of the time when you have a trap, the trap is either really young or wears baggy clothing to avoid revealing that he has no boobs. This waifu is just straight-up bra stuffing. That is bad form. I mean, I can see from the Wiki that he’s pretending to be a girl for plot reasons, but still. Bad form.

Looks-wise, Ryo would be a bit plain even if he was a girl. Brown eyes + brown hair on a girl in anime is a signal for meh looks in my experience. That said, there’s nothing wrong with him. Were he a girl, I’d give him a Looks rating of 50-55. As it is, knowing that those boobs are fake, I can’t justify it.

Ryo has the highest Personality ranking so far. He’s calm, collected, and soft. Again, I’m not so into the super feminine girl archetype that anime loves, but I can buy it. This is a reasonable personality for a waifu. I’m sure I could at least get along with him.

As for the PWC, I have three problems. The first is that he’s a boy. The second is that he doesn’t even like dressing up as a girl, he only does it for plot reasons, which means that he barely qualifies as a waifu, this is like nominating Captain Kirk because of that one episode where he switches bodies with a woman. But the third is the most damning: I know perfectly damn well that Japan treats female idols really weirdly and demands they pretend to not have boyfriends half the time, and I remember reading about one who was “caught” having sex with her boyfriend and had to apologize. For doing what literally every single one of her ancestors did to produce her! No way am I dealing with a lifestyle like that.

Sorry, Ryo. I suggest you find a career that doesn’t involve frilly pink skirts.
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Good. Pulaski slain.
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Anagram posted...

Sorry, Ryo. I suggest you find a career that doesn’t involve frilly pink skirts.

That uh...actually happens.

http://www.project-imas.com/w/images/9/9e/RyoAkizukiSR%2B1.jpg

You would've realized it had you scrolled down far enough on his wiki page.
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WhiteLens posted...

Anagram posted...

Sorry, Ryo. I suggest you find a career that doesn’t involve frilly pink skirts.

That uh...actually happens.

http://www.project-imas.com/w/images/9/9e/RyoAkizukiSR%2B1.jpg

You would've realized it had you scrolled down far enough on his wiki page.

I did. The picture I linked for him is that same gallery part. But I had to end the write-up some way!

Seriously though, I read all of the wiki page for all of the nominations I don't already know.
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Jeff Zero posted...

Good. Pulaski slain.

still outranked Chloe "Don't call me Frasier" Frazer
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LeonhartFour posted...

Jeff Zero posted...

Good. Pulaski slain.

still outranked Chloe "Don't call me Frasier" Frazer

Like I said, my number system is throwing the results a little. I think it's better than just making a list with no numbers, but there are some oddities.
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Anagram posted...

LeonhartFour posted...

Jeff Zero posted...

Good. Pulaski slain.

still outranked Chloe "Don't call me Frasier" Frazer

Like I said, my number system is throwing the results a little. I think it's better than just making a list with no numbers, but there are some oddities.

More sensible than anything Seven has done.
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woodman posted...

More sensible than anything Seven has done.

really setting the bar high huh
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Seven literally just drew names out of a hat for his 1000 user ranking. And remember gauntlet crew champion Corrik?
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133. Celeste Ludenberg
https://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/danganronpa/images/6/66/Celestia_Ludenberg_Illustration.png/revision/latest?cb=20170601123643
Origin: Dangan Ronpa
Nominator: DeathChicken
Looks: 61
Personality: 30
Projected Wife Capacity: 38
Overall Score: 40.3

It’s around this point that we move from waifus I actively dislike to waifus I am mostly ambivalent about. But just as we had a few exceptions in the lower tier who got there due to my number system, there will still be a few awful waifus remaining. But overall, this is the point of waifu mehness.

Looks-wise, she’s the first goth loli we’ve had in this ranking so far, and I can’t remember, she might be the only one. She also has what might be the silliest hair of any waifu on the list. I’m not really into these styles, but I think I see their appeal, and Celeste pulls them both off pretty well. I don’t mind giving her good a rank in Looks.

Personality-wise, she’s “calm, cold, and cunning,” but more importantly, she’s very intelligent. She’s ambitious, “will do anything to win,” and thinks about game theory all the time. She’s selfish, values her life over that of others, and would sacrifice others to save herself, yet is somehow also prideful. Finally, she’s also called the Queen of Liars. Now, while I like an intelligent waifu as much as the next guy, the Wiki leads me to believe that everything to Celeste is some kind of convoluted game you have to win by outsmarting the other guy. That sounds like just about the most unpleasant a person can be without moving into possibly evil territory.

As for her PWC, I’ve already discussed problems with her in the Personality block. She does have the somewhat redeeming feature of apparently being loaded, since she’s just so good at gambling that she can win tons of cash, but given that she demands the perfect mannerisms of European royalty in herself (I can only assume that she has never see the British monarchy in action other than Elizabeth), I get the feeling that things between her and any normal man would never work out.

Sorry, Celeste. You aren’t even the highest ranking waifu who name starts with “Celes.”
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wow, that's not how I remember Celes looking like at all!
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Sceptilesolar posted...

wow, that's not how I remember Celes looking like at all!

Whoops!
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Bump
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Celeste is not a very pleasant person, yeah.
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132. Satsuki Kiryuin
https://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/kill-la-kill/images/6/66/KILLLAKILL17_09.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20150407021529
Origin: Kill la Kill
Nominator: Menji
Looks: 56
Personality: 30
Projected Wife Capacity: 38
Overall Score: 41.3

Satsuki is the president of a student council (I have to assume student councils are more important in Japanese high schools than American ones, I remember them being a complete joke) and goes from antagonist to protagonist during the course of the show… according to the Wiki. I really need to bone up on my anime.

I’m sure that Kill la Kill’s slightly ugly animation is an artistic choice, and I have no doubt that it works within the confines of the show, but in the still images I have access to from the Wiki, it does Satsuki a disservice. I can imagine her looking much prettier with more a traditional anime style, but alas, I judge on what I have and not what I know could be. One weird thing I noticed is her thick eyebrows. As someone who also has very thick eyebrows, I approve. I gave her a few extra points in Looks just because of that.

As for her personality, Satsuki is another prideful, calculating, and refined waifu who looks down on other people. People are “pigs in human clothing,” the weak and foolish must be ruled, etc. I do like that she still has a soft side and helps people, even going so far as to repeatedly drink terrible tea to spare someone’s feelings, but overall this sounds like a bad time.

Now, I can definitely see Satsuki doing well on public waifu responsibilities, where the two of us go out and meet with other people, but I have to imagine that she’d be demanding, overly precise, and always disappointed in me when in private. You can do worse, but you can also do better.

Overall, I find Satsuki to be a subpar waifu. Sorry!
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She looks like an ugly man and a pain in the ass.
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Satsuki noooo
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I was going to have a write-up this morning, only to realize that I massively underranked a waifu, which forced me to scrap it. I'll post one later.
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131. Revy
https://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/lagooncompany/images/5/56/Key-art.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130623102924
Origin: Black Lagoon
Nominator: cyan1001
Looks: 83
Personality: 22
Projected Wife Capacity: 23
Overall Score: 42.7

It’ll be a while before we see another score above 80, so savor this while you can. She’s one of the main characters of Black Lagoon, and is a crazy murderous mercenary for criminal enterprises.

Let’s just get this out of the way: Revy’s pretty freaking hot. She is number 13 on Looks, in fact. Even in her less hot pictures, she’s still way above most of the waifus on this list. It really says something that she manages to be in the bottom twenty despite this.

Personality-wise, Revy is loud, psychotic, sarcastic, rude, and ill-tempered. Also she’s a heavy smoker and drinker. No thank you! She has more depth than that, and was turned into this person by a history of being abused by authority figures and repressed emotions, but hell, I’m not a psychologist, I don’t want to deal with that. I don’t think most psychologists would want to deal with that.

Revy’s PWC was always going to be low, but “she’ll kill anyone at the slightest provocation, even unarmed civilians” clinched it for me at 23. It also doesn’t help that she likes to step on men’s crotches to screw with them. I don’t have to explain why those things aren’t attractive to me, I hope.

Overall, I could consider Revy after she has the epiphany the Wiki talks about, but as she is, she seems way too nutso for me. Also, her name is very similar to a kid I knew in high school named Remy, who was kind of a dick.
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130. Nagisa Shiota
http://ansatsukyoshitsu.wikia.com/wiki/File:Sakura_and_Nagisa_3.png
Origin: Assassination Classroom
Nominator: tazzyboyishere
Looks: 40
Personality: 60
Projected Wife Capacity: 30
Overall Score: 43.3

Nagisa Shiota is the protagonist of Assassination Classroom. Because his mother wanted a girl, she forced him to look and act effeminate. I mean… there’s no law against having a second child, is there? Or just adopting a girl?

Looks-wise, Nagisa doesn’t really do it for me. Irrespective of his actually being a dude, and it being kind of obvious (unlike some of the other trap options), the little sideways pigtails, lack of breasts, and short height are each something of a turnoff.

Personality-wise, he’s calm, friendly, observant, and attentive. These are all positive traits. Unfortunately, he’s also shy and reserved, which I do not find to be positive traits, even though shyness can occasionally be cute. I’m not going to dock him too many points for that. Eventually he gains more self-esteem, and I think that’s pretty good.

As far as his PFC goes, nothing I see leads me to believe Nagisa will be a particularly good waifu in practice. He’s clearly got a load of insecurities that I have no idea what to do with, plus he’s apparently got some kind of secret bloodlust thing going on? He does save the world from a yellow tentacle monster, which is a major plus. I like my worlds with a minimum of destruction.

Overall, Nagisa isn’t the worst waifu, but he’s far from the best.
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Are people reading these?
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Yep
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I'm reading. Though I'm unfamiliar with a lot of these characters. Though I did know Celeste and Revy.
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yep

xp1337 posted...

I'm reading. Though I'm unfamiliar with a lot of these characters..

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I'm reading but I probably won't have much to say until my nomination shows up at #1

well other than laughing when you make silly mistakes
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I'm reading and enjoying the write-ups, but I don't know most of these people
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