Board 8 > Anagram ranks 153 waifus nominated by Board 8: The Topic

(+) Yeah! (+)

I am aware of the trap issue, but I honestly don't remember how I dealt with it. I think I docked the waifus points in something, though.
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147. Auntie Whispers
goo.gl/zPV5PH
Origin: Over the Garden Walls
Nominator: Great_Paul
Looks: 4
Personality: 12
Projected Wife Capacity: 10
Overall Score: 8.7

I’m sure that Auntie Whispers’ nomination was yet another attempt to score the last place spot, but there can only be one. From what I’ve read, she’s the guardian of a young girl possessed by a demon, and spends all of her time keeping the girl miserable and busy so the demon can’t control her, up to and including separating her from doctors who could cure her illnesses.

Well, right off the bat, Auntie Whispers is gross-looking. Her eyes are the size of a child’s head, which I’m super not into, I don’t even know what’s happening with her nose, and she’s old. She’s only three years older than Tom Cruise, too. That guy aged spectacularly. I will say that I actually prefer some modesty in a waifu’s clothing, well over half of my top ten dress normally instead of provocatively, but this seventeenth century Amish wimple whatever is taking it too far. Why do I even know the word wimple?

Personality-wise, she’s not an awful person like some of the waifus above her, but she’s still not pleasant. I wouldn’t really want anything to do with someone whose only marketable skill is making people unhappy.

As far as her PWC, I do like that she genuinely cares about the kid, but she’s clearly insane and her only strategy involves making a child miserable. Imagine if I get possessed by a demon or something, I’m going to have enough problems as it is that I don’t need one more where my waifu keeps trying to make me unhappy on purpose.

All in all, the intentional misery, anti-doctor strategy, and being voiced by Tim Curry really turn me off of her. I don’t need It and Satan in my house every day.
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hideous

she looks like a dead link
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Jeff Zero posted...

hideous

she looks like a dead link

I had to split the link because it was too long.
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Try Google URL Shortener!
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arent those things flagged? or is that just tinyurl
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Jeff Zero posted...

Try Google URL Shortener!

It's done, thank you.
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Anagram posted...

MariaTaylor posted...

madotsuki is not a child though...

If she's not, I invoke the Nowi Clause.

I mean her only official appearance is this



just as many people have drawn her as a child as have drawn her as an adult

but she lives in an apartment by herself, soo

she's just clearly not a child
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MariaTaylor posted...

Anagram posted...

MariaTaylor posted...

madotsuki is not a child though...

If she's not, I invoke the Nowi Clause.

I mean her only official appearance is this



just as many people have drawn her as a child as have drawn her as an adult

but she lives in an apartment by herself, soo

she's just clearly not a child

That really looks like a small child to me, and the Wiki had pictures of her as a little kid.
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Just as many people have drawn Gardevoir as a woman as have her drawn as a Pokemon.
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well I don't know what else to say. she's not a child, but clearly your 2 minutes of research has made you an expert on the subject.
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MariaTaylor posted...

well I don't know what else to say. she's not a child, but clearly your 2 minutes of research has made you an expert on the subject.

Except he's not claiming to be an expert. He's saying he ranked her based on the limited information he was able to find, and if it turned out to be wrong, oh well.
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LeonhartFour posted...

Except he's not claiming to be an expert. He's saying he ranked her based on the limited information he was able to find, and if it turned out to be wrong, oh well.

he's not admitting he was wrong though

he's literally arguing with me after barely even doing any research and despite the fact that I just posted the only official image of the character
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where exactly is this mythical anagram post where he says "oh I was wrong but I ranked her based on limited information"

I feel like you are seeing something that is not in this topic at all
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I'm not seeing this mythical post where Anagram claims to be an expert either so whatever
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I don't think there's anything official on what the hell is actually going on with the main character of Yumi Nikki (or Yumi Nikki in general)
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Unown U ftw
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Alright, if I was wrong about Madotsuki, I apologize. I will say, however, that this is the picture I was going off of, and it's used for her on the Wiki.
https://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/yumenikki/images/b/b8/Madotsuki_in_the_Manga.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20131007020911
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DeathChicken posted...

I don't think there's anything official on what the hell is actually going on with the main character of Yumi Nikki (or Yumi Nikki in general)

this is why I posted the ingame sprite and said that is the only official source.

Anagram posted...

Alright, if I was wrong about Madotsuki, I apologize. I will say, however, that this is the picture I was going off of, and it's used for her on the Wiki.
https://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/yumenikki/images/b/b8/Madotsuki_in_the_Manga.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20131007020911

the manga is drawn by hitoshi tomizawa, a person who has never met or spoken to kikiyama
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Did I really only nominate Ebrietas? Whoops, meant to submit more
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Maria, whoa, chill the fuck out. It's his goddamn list.

Maybe he's wrong, but you're being the asshole here, not him.
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The real question is why are you nominating someone that has one fuckin sprite official screenshot of a obscure ass character and then getting mad about how he interpreted that, doubt she would have gone much higher regardless.
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Waifus are serious business. I lost an arm in the last waifu wars...
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Lost my one good eye.
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trdl23 posted...

Maybe he's wrong, but you're being the asshole here, not him.

I didn't say he was being an asshole, I said he was wrong

I know I'm being an asshole!

at least we're on the same page

Bane_Of_Despair posted...

The real question is why are you nominating someone that has one fuckin sprite official screenshot of a obscure ass character

... because he asked us to nominate our waifu...?

Bane_Of_Despair posted...

and then getting mad about how he interpreted that, doubt she would have gone much higher regardless.

uh, I'm mad because I only nominated one character and she got a half-assed write up based on wrong information. meanwhile he wrote an essay for characters like auntie whisper and ebrietas.

edit; and then he tried to argue with me about his wrong assumptions
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146. Mary’s Mother
https://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/spongebob/images/a/a7/Mary.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20111027224331
Origin: SpongeBob SquarePants
Nominator: Great_Paul
Looks: 1
Personality: 24
Projected Wife Capacity: 20
Overall Score: 15

Can I just take a moment to tell everyone that I never liked SpongeBob that much? It was okay, and yes it has some amazing memes, but I do not understand how it took off the way it did. There was a point where Nickelodeon was just the SpongeBob: The Channel, costarring the Fairly Odd Parents. Now Rugrats! That was the ****.

Anyway, Mary’s Mother is yet another obvious grab at the last place spot. It’s a testament to terrible waifus everywhere that she barely makes the bottom five. She’s just a one-off joke within the cartoon. There’s an old lady named Mary, and her mother is still alive, shriveled up to a head and spine and nothing else. With no eyeballs or ability to hear left, all she does is irritate her daughter.

Mary’s Mother ties for the ugliest waifu on this list, which is impressive, since she is at least vaguely humanoid (even though she’s technically a fish). She is legit disgusting to look at. I know everyone wants to be able to say that they see through the covers of books and understand peoples’ personalities, but I think we all know there’s a limit to that, at least on internet waifu rankings. Then again, maybe it applies in reality. In real life, the Elephant Man sure as hell died penniless and alone.

Mary’s Mother is also a screeching, unpleasant shrew who’s impatient and ill-tempered. I want nothing to do with that.

She is at least capable of raising a child, though, so she does score a few points in PWC. But everything else I would desire in a waifu, including not having to push around a wheelchair and being able to do things with her, is impossible. I couldn’t take her to the movies, I couldn’t go out with her and grab a bite to eat, I couldn’t even watch TV with her!

Sorry, Mary’s Mother. Better luck next time.
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^ case in point, a shriveled up worm gets a 4 paragraph write up
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lol it's just a silly random ranking topic, it's ok dude.
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Maria, Maria, Maria. Your waifu lost to a horribly deformed corpse. That's how bad your taste in waifus is. Just accept it and move on.
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I already have?

all I did was point out that he was wrong about her age, and then mention I was annoyed that she got a half-assed write up. you guys are making a bigger deal out of it than I am.
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I mean you're the one who started to get passive aggressive towards Anagram so
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telling someone they are wrong when they are wrong is not being passive aggressive

if I tell someone they are wrong two times and they keep trying to argue the point, yes I am going to make a snide remark at their expense
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but I mean he already said he was wrong and apologized.

I more don't get why you guys care so much
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It was more us asking why you care so much
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I think you are drastically overestimating the amount that I care

if someone posted 2 + 2 = 5 I would also tell them they are wrong

if you nominated a song for a ranking topic, everyone else nominated 5 songs, and then I wrote 4-5 paragraphs about each song but only 1 line about your song you'd probably be annoyed right?

nothing complicated is going on in this topic, aside from like 5 people randomly feeling the need to get involved in a situation that doesn't involve them at all
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Maria, for your own sake, just shut up and drop it.
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MariaTaylor posted...

if you nominated a song for a ranking topic, everyone else nominated 5 songs, and then I wrote 4-5 paragraphs about each song but only 1 line about your song you'd probably be annoyed right?

not really
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trdl23 posted...

Maria, for your own sake, just shut up and drop it.

it doesn't really matter either way. the people who want to make fun of me are going to do it regardless of what I do. I'm not trying to impress anyone. if I'm annoyed by something I have no problem saying I'm annoyed.

it takes 10 seconds to respond to a post in a thread I'm already reading and replying to. if people think this somehow requires super saiyan levels of anger then there's really no reasoning with those people to begin with.
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Tag
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Oh cool 2 pages already- oh.
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I just find it funny the little kid still ranked above Cthluhu
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145. Marie L’Angell
https://static.comicvine.com/uploads/square_medium/0/760/86016-10590-marie-langell.jpg
Origin: Preacher
Nominator: Jesse_Custer
Looks: 7
Personality: 8
Projected Wife Capacity: 31
Overall Score: 15.3

Marie L’Angell is an ancient crone and the leader of the L’Angell family, a group of insane god-fearing monsters. I’ve never read Preacher, all I know about it is the Saint of Killers crashing the Most Powerful Fictional Character topics back in the day, but this fits with what I know. Now that I reread her wiki page, I’m wondering if I didn’t overrate her. Oh well!

I hope I don’t have to explain her low score in looks, but I guess I will anyway. She’s really ugly, old, and I’ll be completely honest, hair is a big part of a waifu’s appearance for me. She’s got slightly more hair than Homer Simpson. I guess she does know how to wear cleavage-exposing blouses and accessorize with nice roses, but even with those advantages, she’s still not getting out of single digits.

I also like my waifus to not be horrible excuses for human beings, and Marie L’Angell appears to be just that. Her daughter runs away and falls in love with a dude, so Marie kidnaps them, eventually kills the dude, and tortures the daughter and the daughter’s son whenever they disobey.

She does score some points in PWC, though she’s still nowhere near average. She clearly knows how to organize people, which is a useful skill, but she’s just too religious and cruel for my tastes.

Sorry, Marie L’Angell. At least you have a cool last name.
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Marie might have been the worst person to cross a Garth Ennis comic, and that's saying a *hell* of a lot
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144. Gruntilda Winkybunion
https://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/banjokazooie/images/7/73/Gruntilda.png/revision/latest?cb=20100802110822
Origin: Banjo-Kazooie
Nominator: Great_Paul
Looks: 11
Personality: 19
Projected Wife Capacity: 20
Overall Score: 16.7

The villain of possibly the single most overrated platformer of all time, Grunty is a vain and evil witch who kidnaps a young girl to steal her youth. Not because Grunty wants to live forever or anything, but just because she wants to be pretty herself.

She’s ugly, her nose is enormous, she’s short, she’s fat, she’s got a Jay Leno chin, and she likes to pick her nose. All in all, this is not a winner.

She does seem at least mildly clever, and she is able to pull off a basic plan, so she scores a few personality points. However, the nose-picking, the evil sorcery, and the speaking in rhymes turn me off. I don’t mind the occasional rhyme, but it’s easy to overdo that kind of thing. She’s also arrogant and sadistic, so no thanks.

As far as the PWC goes, I can’t see any relationship with her. Even if she was hot, she’s clearly going to spend more time on her evil schemes than she is with us.

Sorry, Grunty. Maybe you should kidnap someone nice and steal her personality.
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Anagram posted...

The villain of possibly the single most overrated platformer of all time

you've just improved your stock with me immensely
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LeonhartFour posted...

Anagram posted...

The villain of possibly the single most overrated platformer of all time

you've just improved your stock with me immensely

I ultimately just gave my copy to Goodwill. I was going through my old stuff and thought "Nah, I'll never play this again."
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All I ever heard about Banjo is that it's very collectothon

No thanks
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That was a really good write-up for Marie, you did your research. Makes me think I should have submitted some serious nominations!

Anagram posted...

The villain of possibly the single most overrated platformer of all time

that's King K. Rool but NICE TRY
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Tag
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