Lita's with Paul Heyman and she looks disgusted, while Paul Heyman looks comically evil
Heyman gets slapped, the music's really pushing it. Oh man this Brock Lesnar guy is huge.
Jeff Hardy Vs. Brock Lesnar
Lawler believes Heyman may really have the next big thing. Hardy with a dropkick, he's flying and he's actually harming Lesnar! Crossbody and Brock catches him and is now ramming his shoulder.
Suplex by Brock and Heyman's blaming Lita or all this. Backbreaker and Jeff Hardy's out of it. Third Backbreaker and Lesnar's not going for the pin.
Jeff Hardy fighting back and gets whipped into the corner. Brock Lesnar's manhandling Jeff Hardy.
Jaw breaker, low blow. Swanton! Jeff takes a chair, Brock picks him up and sends him crashing face first.
He's been ordered to not pin him but hurt him instead. Lesnar's just powerbombing Jeff. Ref stoppage.
Video Package for Kurt Angle, he's not happy and he's hurting Edge a lot.
Edge Vs. Kurt Angle
Kurt Angle trying to bully Edge it doesn't work. Hard Elbow by Angle, he runs into a dropkick.
Edge's hair is being criticised, don't you know this man is in adverts for shampoo! Angle's slapping Edge and gets hit by a heel kick. German and Angle's pleased with that one.
Crowd's not liking Angle. He don't care! He's just hitting Edge and now they're talking about Ben Johnson. Now Edge is the one doing all the chopping. Huge suplex by Angle and Edge kicks out.
Angle's trying to make Edge fade out of the match and he gets close but Edge was able to get out of this situation. Angle's got his hands wrapped around Edge and here comes the big German. Edge rallies back and and he gets a fierce backdrop.
Edge is ducking every clothesline, sidestepping every charge, Angle's unable to get the Angle Slam, Edge drives him into the canvas.
Top rope move incoming and Angle runs up to catch Edge for a quick Suplex, there's a cover and a kickout. Edge has the waistlock on and the suplexes are taking the wind out of Edge's sails.
SUPLEX BY EDGE! Angle's going out of the ring and Edge is going for a crossbody! Back to the ring they go. Edge goes for another crossbody. Suplex and both guys are unable to beat each other just yet.
Look at all these kickouts man. Angle's got the Ankle Lock on and Edge is getting to the ropes, there's a rollup attempt it fails. Angle's frustrated and he's even got the straps down!
ANGLE HITS HIMSELF WITH A CHAIR AFTER IT BOUNCES ON THE ROPES! EDGE CAN'T CAPITALIZE! Edge's setting up for the spear here and he runs right into a big boot. ANGLE SLAM! ONE! TWO! THREE!
Hulk Hogan's winning the Undisputed Championship, because he's got a little more experience according to chick being interviewed.
Chris Jericho is coming out to give us a really angry promo and that's about it.
Flair, Arn and Undertaker backstage, plenty of glares.
RVD is doing what RVD always does to kickstart matches. Kicks everywhere. Elbow by Eddie and he's cornered RVD and is stomping all over him.
Van Dam fighting back. Scoop slam and a Frog splash is being teased. Eddie's fighting back and he's on top and there's RVD pushes him off.
Lawler groans and RVD jumps from the top to knockdown Eddie. Moonsault and Eddie kickouts. Rollup by Eddie and RVD's kicking out. Guerrero's on the barricade and RVD jumps off the apron.
Backbreaker by Eddie and RVD's struggling. Eddie's slowing the pace down and he's torturing RVD here. Guerrero's been using a lot of rather unique submissions right now.
Heel kick and Eddie from the top! Van Dam can't get to his feet. Crowd's behind him though! Hurricanrana off the tope rope! Eddie's using a variety of suplexes.
Now Van Dam's kicking hard. WHAT A POWERBOMB! But RVD kicks out. Eddie's got the belt and Tim White gets knocked out. Neckbreaker on RVD! His head lands on the belt and there's the Frog Splash!
Latino Heat wins the Intercontinental title.
We got a #1 contender match coming up. Undertaker's going to have to go through Stone Cold.
The two big dudes sort of square off against each other and Undertaker goes for an early headlock. Undertaker's looking like the stronger of the two combatants.
Side headlocks yay! More posing and walking around. They're not going at it just yet, big standoff. Austin does some press ups. Tie in and we're back to side headlocks.
Austin with a forearm to Undertaker and now he gives him the middle finger. There's some more taunting and Undertaker's not really happy about all these mindgames.
Couple of armdrags and a droptoe hold, he's got the arm! Austin working that arm over. Austin's decided to chop like a maniac. Undertaker just knocks him down.
Old school from the Undertaker. Thesz Press, punches, elbow and a cover. Undertaker got out of that one. Austin clotheslines him out. Fight goes to the outside and we've got strikes against chops.
Hard knife edge chops and they're still brawling. Big boot by the Undertaker. Crowd's still firmly behind Austin and he's still dishing out the right hands, there's some crowd surfing and Austin's still striking with chops.
Piledriver countered by a backdrop. Flair's not counting them out and they're still brawling on the outside. Undertaker's bike is being used as a weapon.
X-PAC SUCKS! X-PAC SUCKS! X-PAC SUCKS! Yeah he does and the nWo is out here. Crowd got really quiet and Undertaker's sort of just hitting austin and dropping legs on the apron.
Undertaker's dropping more elbows. Austin's fighting back now and he's got the lateral press but Austin kicks out. Sleeper hold by austin and there's a counter by Undertaker, suplexes work well.
Stunner is countered and Austin is down, Undertaker's trying to smother him. nWo's still looking on, they look kinda bored. Undertaker's removing the turnbuckle padding. Irish whip by Austin sends Taker into the exposed turnbuckle.
Double clothesline and both men fall. Flair looks confused. Austin gets back up and he's hammering away. Ref bump! Flair's out cold, meanwhile Austin delivers the Stone Cold Stunner! LOW BLOW BY UNDERTAKER!
Chokeslam by Undertaker and Austin's out, but he still manages to kick out at two. Undertaker's got the chair and Austin with a low blow of his own and it's not enough because Undertaker's got the pin. Spinebuster and Undertaker kicks out.
This match is never going to end is it? Stunner is countered and it involves flair being out cold. Austin is knocked out by a steel chair and Flair counts but Austin kicks out at two again.
Throat slit taunt and Undertaker's going to end this, clothesline by Austin, nearfall, nobody was buying that one. Undertaker misses a chairsho and austin's just stomping.
Austin wants the chair Flair says no, Undertaker says big boot to your face, cover, Austin's got the foot on the rope. Flair doesn't see it and keeps counting. Looks like Undertaker will challenge the winner of Triple H or Hulk Hogan.
The two big lads are squaring off again and austin still has the last laugh as he dishes out one last Stunner.
WWF TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:
Billy and Chuck (c) Vs. Al Snow and Maven
Billy and chuck on the offensive before Al Snow and Maven could even get into the ring. Though they get dumped out of the ring pretty clearly.
Stomps, plenty of stomps on Maven. DDT by Maven, but Snow was kicked off the apron, tag can't be made. Chuck's the muscle right now. Big shots on Maven. Enziguri knocks down Chuck. Al Snow tags in and so does Billy.
Plenty of knockdowns. Backdrop and Al Snow is hammering on Billy in the corner. Knockdown by Chuck and Al snow's in trouble. Billy's stretching out Al Snow and now there's a suplex.
Billy flops around, droptoe hold on Chuck. Fameasser on Maven, Al Snow pulls Maven out of the ring. Snow runs into a kick. The Stylist with a kick on behal of Billy and Chuck.
Maven's on the top and crossbody! Kickout by Billy. Maven wants him to get up, Nick Patrick is distracted. Chuck jumps in.
Video Package of Hulk Hogan and Triple H looking invincible at whatever the hell they're doing. They both really like that shiny belt. MAIN EVENT:
WWF UNDISPUTED TITLE MATCH:
Hulk Hogan Vs. Triple H (C)
These entrances are taking up an incredible amount of time. Triple H initially showcasing the power he has. Another tie up and again Triple H is the powerful one.
There's some trash talking and a lock up, this time Hogan's the powerful one. He's playing to the crowd and they really love him right now. Hogan's on his knees.
Reversal and Hogan's got the sideheadlock on. Triple H looks scurred. Triple H is beating on Hogn in the corner, he's punching loads and Hogan's trapped. Triple h going for the choke.
Backdrop by Hogan, he's now using a lot of clotheslines. There's the odd chop and the Hulkster's mounting the corner and hitting away. Backdrop and Triple H drops out of the ring.
Hollywood Hulk Hogan's got the upper hand and he's punching Triple H in the outside. Suplex on the outside and Hogan uses classic heel move such as the eye rake. Hogan's been grounded the middle of the ring.
Pedigree attempt, countered into the catapult and there's a craddle, kickout by Triple H. Neckbreaker by Hogan and he's going for the cover! Low Blow and Hogan is down. Will Triple H retain his title thanks to a low blow?
There's another one! Chop Block by the Game and he's ravaged the legs of the challenger. Submission attempt by Triple H, the spinning toe hold is powered out of.
Hogan's finding it difficult to even stand up. Hogan's shoulders are barely off the canvas. Triple H can't apply that figure four leglock. There's the figure four! Hollywood Hulk Hogan is in deep trouble now.
Triple H using the ropes to gain leverage, JR admits Hogan would have done the same. Sleeper Hold by Triple H and Hogan's been floored. Hogan was fading but he just said no. Suplex and he breaks free.
Both guys are trying to get to their feet. Punch! Punch! Punch! Sledge to the head and Hogan's feeling it. Big Boot and there's a legdrop! Chris Jericho just ran in and took out the referee and used the chair on Hogan's head.
Triple H is attacking Jericho who if anything is trying to help him! Hogan's hulking up! Fingerpoint!
punch! punch! punch! Big boot! Legdrop misses! He's still hulking up, Triple H lands the pedigree. This time Undertaker runs in and takes out the ref and a vicious chairshot to Triple H's head. Hogan takes out the undertaker.
Legdrop and HE JUST WON! NEW UNDISPUTED CHAMPION!
Triple H is bleeding and hes staring down Hogan post match. The handshake!
The only title to change hands between Backlash and Insurrextion is the Hardcore Title, but it changes hands a lot!
It starts on Bubba Ray Dudley and goes to: Steven Richards - Tommy Dreamer - Goldust - Steven Richards - Shawn Stasiak - Justin Credible - Crash Holly - Steven Richards - Shawn Stasiak - Steven Richards - Crash Holly - Steven Richards
Insurrextion is the final show of any kind that gets to use the WWF name, so one last time in memorium:
WWF Undisputed Champion: Hulk Hogan WWF Tag Team Champions: Billy & Chuck WWF Intercontinental Champion: Eddie Guerrero WWF European Champion: Spike Dudley WWF Hardcore Champion: Steven Richards WWF Cruiserweight Champion: Tajiri WWF Women's Champion: Jazz
--
Thank you, Eddie Guerrero. http://www.wwe.com/f/styles/photo_large/public/photo/image/2012/04/33_Moscow_04112012jg_02128.jpg
We get a nice history montage to start. Val Venis, Goldust, Mr. Perfect, and Godfather all back? Pad that roster! HHH is finally back too.
Dudley Boyz vs. Spike Dudley & Tazz
Spike's got a neck collar from some injury I guess. Tazz gets double teamed outside right away so Spike can be trapped in the ring.
All kinds of neckbreakers here on Spike. Dudley dog doesn't save him, but he ducks a double team and tags in Tazz. Camera botch as they're showing a replay during the hot tag.
Stacy tries to save the Dudleys, she's put in the tazzmission. Now he gets it on D-von and he taps right away. Oh, that was a quick match.
William Regal's been on a brass knuckle rampage against Edge. Edge can use chairs.
William Regal vs. Edge
Nick Patrick is really concerned with searching Regal for brass knuckles, oh he finds some.
Crazy suplex from Regal send Edge onto his face. Edge counters a double underhook into a back body drop and cover. Regal rolls over with the hook still on and hits a double underhook powerbomb. He tries it again on the apron, not gonna happen.
They bump heads and are both dazed. Here's another suplex that Edge oversells to make look brutal. Regal stretch is on! But Edge can get the ropes.
Edge reaches over and gets the Regal stretch on Regal now! Edge hits a heel kick off the top rope now. And a spear but the ref is in the way! He's down.
Regal's got something in his hand, he knocks out Edge with it. Classic heel move, Regal gets the cover and the intercontinental belt.
They've got 5 refs helping Edge out of the ring. Sell those knuckles all day.
Atlanta Thrashers play hockey here! I bet they're a good team.
Jacqueline is the guest ref for the next match.
Jazz vs. Trish Stratus
Jazz jumps Trish immediately. They exhange a series of quick covers, 1 counts for everyone.
Jacqueline's arguing with Jazz, this won't work in Jazz's favor. She's getting slow counts now. Stratusfaction but only a 2 count.
Trish with a boot and a bulldog and she wins somehow.
Flair and Vince are feuding. The recap videos are showing that Flair still has no problem blading his face right open.
Flair's son is here, he looks bored out of his mind.
Street fight: Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon
Vince is looking bigger than Flair, how many steroids has he been taking.
Here's a chop from Vince, he shouts WHOO. Flair comes back with many chops. WHOOO WHOOO WHOOO
Flair's doing his best to make Vince look like a million bucks in the ring. Now Vince has a sign and Flair's taking the shots to the head.
Trash can to the face, here's a flair flop and Flair is busted open and bleeding everywhere. Vince is taking pictures of himself and Flair's bleeding face. Check out that camera, that's surely not digital.
Vince puts the figure four on Flair! He turns it over and escapes. Vince grabs a lead pipe but gets punched in the groin. Flair with a TV monitor right to Vince's face.
And Vince is busted open too. Flair goes and gets some pictures of Vince now. Flair's got the pipe and he nails Vince right in the head.
Figure four coming up, Vince has to tap out.
--
ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER. Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...
Stephanie is here to talk about HHH. Stone Cold is standing behind Stephanie. WHAT WHAT WHAT.
The Rock vs. Chris Jericho
It starts with Jericho yapping away and he gives Rock the hand! Stealing his opponent's taunt! What nerve.
Jericho's really controlling the pace here. Rock fights off some chops but Jericho's still hitting some kicks. And off goes the turnbuckle cover.
Long sleeper hold and Rock finally with some sustained momentum coming out of it. But Jericho gets a bulldog and lionsault. And he goes for one more, hits this lionsault too! Rock kicks out of the cover.
Jericho wants to argue with Hebner, Rock has an opening and gets on the sharpshooter. Wait, out runs Lance Storm. Jericho's tapping but Hebner's occupied. And out comes Christian, all the Canadians are here. Rock bottom on Rock! Rock kicks out!
And now Jericho wants to do a people's elbow. Rock with a kip up to stop it though.
Both tables cleared off, Jericho wants to rock bottom Rock through the spanish table, Rock counters and puts Jericho through the main table.
Jericho kicks out of the cover in the ring. Walls of Jericho are on! Rollup and a two count.
Oh no, Hebner's down and Jericho knocks out Rock with a belt. Nick Patrick runs in to ref now.
Rock with a DDT and cover, Patrick is gonna be biased now and he doesn't count the cover. Rock knocks out Patrick, and a people's elbow on Jericho. No ref to count again.
Hebner's coming to, Rock gets thrown into the exposed turnbuckle and Jericho does a rollup with his feet on the ropes. Hebner counts the cover! Jericho keeps his belts through every heel tactic he could think of.
WWF New York! Shawn Michaels is there, can't send an active wrestler to NY on Royal Rumble night with that thin roster. He wants Taker and Austin to win because he wants Texans to win. Guess Bradshaw's not in the rumble?
--
ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER. Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...
2 minutes this year, both feet on the ground. We'll see if you can eliminate yourself or not.
Royal Rumble
Number 1 is Rikishi. And number 2 is Goldust, this means we get to see his full entrance. Gold flecks for everyone. Goldust almost goes out fast but grabs the rope. Almost again, he hangs on again.
Number 3 in is Big Bossman. He's back again? Rikishi gets both guys stuck in one corner.
4th in is Bradshaw. God dammit Shawn Michaels you disrespectful ass, he's from Texas too. Bradshaw's clearing everyone down and Rikishi gives Bossman a stinkface. Superkick and Bossman is 1st out thanks to Rikishi.
5th in is Lance Storm. Nothing happens for 2 minutes.
WHAT DOES EVERYBODY WANT? 6th in is Al snow! Storm gets a clothesline from hell. "WE WANT HEAD" say the fans.
7th in is Billy Gunn. He's teaming with Chuck these days. Billy runs right into a big boot. Snow and Storm both on the apron, and Snow hits a kicks to knock out Storm, who's 2nd gone. Bradshaw's trying to get out Goldust, and Billy knocks out Bradshaw for 3rd gone. Booo.
8th in is Undertaker, he rides his motorcycle down of course. Billy gets chokeslammed. Then he chokeslams Goldust out of the ring, making Goldust 4th out. Then Taker tosses out Snow who's 5th out. And then he sends Rikishi out 6th, and Billy out as 7th. Ring is cleared.
9th in is Matt Hardy. He's with Lita and looks like they're argument last PPV is over. Taker's beating up Matt, Lita runs in to save him with a low blow. Twist of fate by Matt. Taker no sells the hell out of that.
10th in is Jeff Hardy. RANDOM DRAW. Both Hardys and Lita beating up Taker. Guess they're together again. Another twist of fate and now a swanton. Some double teaming and Taker just catches Jeff and dumps him out. Jeff's 8th gone. Matt's given a last ride and tossed out 9th. All Taker again.
11th in is Maven. Does he have the Headbangers music? This guy won Tough Enough. Oh, Lita's still here? And so are both Hardys, they jump Taker. Maven drop kicks Taker AND HE'S GONE. WHAT. Taker is 10th out thanks to the new guy! That's how you give a new guy a quick push.
Oh, Taker's mad, he goes back to the ring to beat up Maven. And Maven gets a chair right to the head.
TURN IT UP! 12th in is Scotty 2 Hotty. Dance time runs right into Taker's rampage. Maven's face is busted open. Taker tosses Maven over the top, is he gone now? Commentators say no, but Taker takes Maven through the crowd into the concessions area. I'll assume Maven's gone and 11th out.
13th in is Christian. Scotty's still down in the aisle, Maven is tossed into popcorn and apparently that killed him.
14th in is DDP and he gets reverse DDTed by Christian. He fights back with a diamond cutter on Christian! Scotty knocks down DDP and he can give Christian the worm! And DDP then tosses Scotty, he's 12th out.
15th in is Chuck. His hair is so blonde now. JR calls DDP a longshot to win the rumble, how far he's falling after being buried by Taker.
--
ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER. Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...
16th in is Godfather and he's got some ho's with him! Twelve of them. And the cameras show this for a full minute instead of any ring action. And JR tells us DDP is eliminated 13th by either/both Chuck or/and Christian. Oh, replay shows it was Christian.
TURN IT UP? What? Oh, yeah. 17th in is Albert, I forgot he's a hip hop guy now. Christian and Chuck toss Albert out as 14th. And Godfather goes for a ho train but it misses and they both eliminate Godfather as 15th.
18th in is Perry Saturn. I thought he was buried to all hell after Moppy, but then again they did need to fill the roster here. He can do a nice suplex I guess.
19th in is Steve Austin, looking for #4. He tosses Christian, who's 16th out. Saturn gets a stunner. Austin tosses out Chuck, the 17th out, and Saturn the 18th out. Ring is cleared again. He's got time to kill, he brings Christian and Chuck back in and eliminates them both again.
HELLO LADIES. 20th in is Val Venis. Austin with some kicks but Val's getting in more offense. Thesz press though!
21st in is Test. He and Val double team Austin, but Test gets Val with a big boot by mistake. Austin tosses out Val as 19th gone, then a stunner and Test is 20th gone. Ring cleared yet again.
22nd in is HHH. The water bottle entrance takes almost the full 2 minutes.
23rd in is Hurricane. HHH and Austin knock each other down and Hurricane gives POSE AFTER POSE! He wants to chokeslam both guys, but they combine to toss Hurricane out 21st.
24th in is Faarooq. He gets in a spinebuster, but then is stunnered. HHH knocks out Faarooq and he's 22nd gone.
25th in is Mr. Perfect! His strap is already down, he's ready. He's trying to take on both Austin and HHH.
26th in is Kurt Angle. YOU SUCK has finally arrived. Damn liars all across the internet told me Edge started it mid-2002.
27th in is Big Show. He wants to chokeslam everyone but is stopped. Angle can't suplex him. Big boots and clotheslines and headbutts everywhere. This is Big Show's entire moveset.
28th in is Kane. Time for some eliminations. He and Big Show have a staredown. Kane bodyslams Big Show over the top rope! Big Show is 23rd out. But Austin stunners Kane, and Angle olympic slams Kane out as 24th.
29th in is Rob Van Dam. He slips on the apron coming in the ring. But he still gives Angle a five star frog splash! Rolling thunder! Spin kicks! But HHH gives RVD a pedigree. Everyone's down.
CAN YOU DIG IT SUCKA! 30th man in is Booker T! He tosses out RVD right away, RVD is 25th out. Booker T doesn't have anyone up to fight, so he just does a spinaroonie! And Austin stunners Booker T and he oversells it so hard to be 26th out.
HHH, Austin, Angle, and Mr. Perfect are the final four. Angle with an olympic slam on HHH. And now suplexes on Austin. Austin's trying to get out Perfect, and Angle knocks out Austin! Austin's 27th gone.
Austin blames Perfect, Perfect and Angle are out of the ring fighting Austin. And Austin gets a chair and takes out both Angle and Perfect. And HHH gets hit as well.
Angle almost eliminates Perfect, but he hangs on. Mr. Perfect comes back and gets a perfectplex! Snapmare followup, but HHH knocks out Perfect as the 28th elimination.
HHH takes down Angle. But here's a suplex, HHH is sitting on the apron. Angle ducks a clothesline and dumps HHH, but he hangs on. Angle's busy celebrating and HHH knocks him out to win the rumble.
Star of the PPV: Triple H
Botch of the PPV: Vicne struggled to take a picture with a camera. "How do I take a picture" *bulb flashes in his face*
--
ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER. Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...
Yeah, sadly you're going to get a bit of Test for the rest of the year, and he's somehow worse in 2003. Test returns in late 2006, but it's hardly noticeable on ppv.
Big Show... well, just be prepared for the worst. With the exception of 2007, you're going to see a lot of him, and not in the greatest of situations either.
-- http://zerosignal620.wordpress.com/ Seriously, call Kenny Loggins, cause you're in the Danger Zone.
Video package and Undertaker's not looking happy at all. Ric Flair's losing his sanity and a lot of guys are jumping all over the place.
Look at that giant X.
WWF INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH:
Eddie Guerrero (c) Vs. Rob Van Dam
Van Dam will never lose the popularity stakes here. RVD using his educated feet, Latino Heat is matching up well to him.
There's a standoff with some trash talking. Spinning heel kick and a baseball slide. Moonsault from the apron and Van Dam's feeling it. Legdrop on Eddie and the split legged moonsault from up top.
Rollup by Eddie, countered. Eddie sidesteps Van Dam who goes out of the ring. Crowd does not like Eddie. RVD! RVD! RVD!
Eddie's beating on Van Dam and there's a suplex. Kickout by Van Dam. Headlock by Guerrero. He's been very aggressive. Foot on the rope, the hold is broken. Slingshot from under the bottom rope.
Boot to throat and the crowd still doesn't like Eddie. Rollups and Eddie is nearly pinned. He's arguing with the ref there.
He'll try and beat RVD via submission. Van Dam gets to the ropes. More kicks and a low dropkick, Latino Heat showing his educated feet.
Another sharp legdrop. Eddie's going for the legs and Van Dam's trying to fight out of it and SUPERKICK BY VAN DAM! Monkey flip by Van Dam and the momentum's changed.
ROLLING THUNDER! Eddie kicks out, Eddie revived and his counter results in Van Dam giving him a moonsault. ROB VAN DAM IS FLYING! Five Star Frog Splash misses! Eddie beats up the ref and he gets disqualified.
Eddie's now running after the referee and into a kick by van Dam. Belt Shot right in the face of Eddie Guerrero. There's a Five Star Frog Splash with Van Dam changing direction in mid air.
Molly Holly is talking about sleaze and trash. There's a punchline that took way too long to arrive.
Trish Stratus and Jacqueline Vs. Molly Holly and Jazz
Jazz is being called a female Mike Tyson. Atomic Drop by Jacqueline. Ref just got rolled over. How does this keep happening to the refs in these matches.
Molly and Jazz are working together well. Jazz slams Jackie and there's an irish whip. Legdrop misses, here's Trish and she's beating the hell out of Jazz.
Jawbreaker by Jazz. Chops on Molly and she walks right into a kick to the face. Jazz with the chickenwing and Trish's teeth are hurting. Handspring elbow and Jackie with a ick to break up the pin.
The commentators are discussing Molly's virginity. Trish is rallying, cheap shot by Molly and Jackie's got the ref distracted. Trish's pin is kicked out of. Neckbreaker and Jazz isn't going down.
Jackie and Jazz are going right at it and Jazz tried to pull the tights. DDT! Molly breaks the pin up there and Jackie knocks out Molly. Boston Crab on Jackie.
Jackie avoids the double team and now Trish and Jackie are beating up on them double stratusfaction, double pin and they win.
Bradshaw Vs. X-Pac
X-Pac's still got Kane's mask. The crowd still believes X-Pac sucks.
Backdrop on him by Bradshaw and there's a big clothesline. X-Pac's kicking the legs out of the big guy. Bradshaw's head is getting rammed into the turnbuckle. Bradshaw's been busted open.
More kicks by X-Pac and Bradshaw kicks out. More kick and a chokehold. Little old X-Pac has turned Bradshaw into a bloody mess.
Chops now and Bradshaw's had enough he's actually fighting back! But X-Pac's just too strong! Powerbomb for Bradshaw to save himself. Bradshaw's running into a kick. Powerslam!
Bradshaw with a flying tackle. Crossbody and into the fallaway slam. Scott Hall sighted. Bradshaw just got clocked by the nunchucks.
Kickout by Bradshaw, he knocks out Scott Hall and there's the X-Factor and the nWo triumphs.
Undertaker's chatting with Coach and the crowd gives a good what.
WWF HARDCORE TITLE MATCH:
Steven Richards (c) Vs. Booker T
CAN YOU DIG IT SUCKA! Armdrag takedown by Richards. Got to taunt Booker T as much as possible. Booker T is chopping and stomping hard on Booker T.
Under the ring we find a ton of weapons. Richards is throwing the weapons out of the ring. He missed something though. The broom's out, Booker wants to sweep this match under the rug.
Poke to the eyes and some chops. Kick to the face by Booker and a cover. Trashcan lid to the head. Straight shot to the head and Richards kicks out of the cover.
Chops to fight back. Flapjack from Booker and Richards is losing momentum. Hit to the head by the lid again. Booker T uses a backdrop and Richards sends him over the top. Can to the head.
The former five time champ is struggling with his head locked in. Richards is losing blood from the mouth. Dropkick on the trashcan and Booker T kicks out. Booker T going for a ride, spinebsuter on Richards, kickout.
The spinaroonie might be coming up! He's going to get a can first instead and he puts it on top of Richards. Dropkick! Richards kicked out of that! Steven kick and this time Booker T's shoulder is up. BOOK END!
We've got aa new hardcore champion. CRASH HOLLY WITH A ROLLUP AND WE'VE GOT A NEW CHAMPION!
Scissors kick, BACK TO A NEW CHAMPION! Justin Credible and Tommy Dreamer are in and Dreamer's bringing out the table. Booker's fighting them off. Nobody went through the table! but we got the spinaroonie. Jazz and Steven Richards comes in and the table doesn't break.
Kickout, this time it does and Steven Richards leaves with the belt.
Brock Lesnar's teaming up with Shawn Stasiak these days. Brock's been killing the Hardyz for fun. Oh Stasiak hears voices in his head. Heyman's telling Stasiak better just stay on the apron.
The Hardy Boyz Vs. Brock Lesnar and Shawn Stasiak
Stasiak ran in and started the match. Jeff is the one facing him. He's gone nuts. Sidewalk slam and Jeff gets out. Heyman's asking Stasiak what the hell is he doing.
Lawler making some dirty jokes. Lesnar tags in and absolutey wrecks Matt Hardy. He's staring at Stasiak. Matt's fighting back. Backbreaker and a huge slam. Lesnar's just towering over Matt Hardy.
Vertical suplex and Matt Hardy can't get up. Lawler's talking about brains drowning. Shoulder charge and Stasiak is thinking of tagging in and there's a blind tag. MATT TAGS IN JEFF HARDY! Stasiak's about to ruin the match.
JEFF WITH A CORKSCREW! Stasiak kicks out, Brock's kept out of the ring by both Hardyz. TWIST OF FATE! SWANTON! THE HARDYZ HAVE WON IT! Lesnar just gave the F5 to the two of them and spinebuster for Stasiak.
Here comes a running powerbomb.
Make a wish foundation trailer.
WWF EUROPEAN TITLE MATCH:
Spike Dudley (c) Vs. William Regal
Regal's starting them match with his stiff looking moves. Spike Dudley's forehead is hurting. Crowd's really liking Regal.
Elbow and a dropkick by Spike. Regal's begging but it ain't working. Spike hurt his ankle. They need a trainer apparently. Spike wants to continue and Regal's taking advantage of the injury.
Is it me or does Spike often go into matches injured. Roll and a win for Spike. Regal's got the knux and the cheap shot knocks out Spike
Video Package and Big show has joined the nWo or something.
Big show break you in half. Austin no care about Big show. these two angry men lock up. Push ups by Austin.
Crowd chanting what a fair bit. So how much staring is this match going to feature? Plenty of right hands. The test of strength ends up with Austin kicking Big show a lot.
Austin gets knocked down. Austin steps on Big Show down low. Elbows are dropping on the leg. Big show's down and Austin is working the legs over some more on the bottom rope.
Now he's ramming it against the post. Austin is getting his pushed back and Big Show limps. Takedown and back to work on the leg.
Slam by Big show, down goes the strap. Plenty of slapping and Austin's crawling. Backdrop and Show's not been going for too many covers. Crowd still chanting you fat bastard.
There's a cover and a kickout, Big show is going to try and suffocate him. Right hands by Austin, big boot knocks him down. Ref bump, which means we've got a stunner! Flair comes to count, but the nWo takes him off and he chases them away.
Big show goes for a chokeslam, Austin fights out and runs into a big boot. Kevin Nash runs in and Austin gives him the stunner. Two stunners for Big Show and he wins. Flair's back.
He's making Nash leave. Flair and Austin drink some beer and austin stuns Flair.
Triple H and Undertaker are brawling a fair bit.
MAIN EVENT:
Undertaker Vs. Triple H
The two of them trade blows. High knee and Undertaker gets backdropped.
Big right hands by Undertaker and Triple H is about to get hit by old school.
Triple H gets the upper hand and the two brawl and Triple H tumbles out of the ring.
More elbows, Triple H is left hanging by Undertaker on the ropes. Big elbow on the apron. Legdrop on the apron now.
Chop block by Undertaker and he's hitting him some more.
Holds and stomps, this match is going places. Triple H is in a chinlock, will he be able to get out of it? Well he got up.
Big spinebuster, but there's a kickout. Undertaker's readying the chokeslam.
Facebuster and Undertaker hits back with a chokeslam. Chairshot and Undertaker kicks out.
DDT! Undertaker was holding down the arms. Pedigree! Holy hot damn he only needed one Pedigree to win this!
I forget exactly how it happened but Rikishi somehow got Rico the stylist as his reluctant partner and beat Billy & Chuck for the Tag Titles.
Trish won the Women's Title back from Jazz
Stand Back! The Hurricane won the Cruiserweight Title from Tajiri!
Regal did manage to snag his record-tying 4th European Title by defeating Spike on Raw.
The Hardcore Title starts on Steven Richards and travels though Bubba Ray Dudley -> Raven -> Justin Credible -> Crash Holly -> Trish Stratus -> Steven Richards That makes 17 reigns for Raven and 18 for Crash, what a rivalry!
Breaking the titles up by Brand now.
Undisputed Champion: Hulk Hogan Women's: Trish Stratus
Intercontinental: Eddie Guerrero European: William Regal Hardcore: Steven Richards
Tag Team: Rico/Rikishi Cruiserweight: The Hurricane
--
Thank you, Eddie Guerrero. http://tinyurl.com/73jgc2r
I forget exactly how it happened but Rikishi somehow got Rico the stylist as his reluctant partner and beat Billy & Chuck for the Tag Titles.
Spoiled Judgment Day for voltch! Then again, no one cared about that match =P. In a nutshell, B&C make an open challenge to Rikishi, saying he can pick anyone as his partner against them @ JD. Rikishi picks Rico and practically wins the titles on his own.
And a necessary update because of how hilariously bad it became, the nWo lost the services of Scott Hall, due to his alcohol-related shenanigans. As a result, he was written off television by Ric Flair after losing to Steve Austin, with Flair telling Nash/Pac/Show that Hall couldn't get the job done, therefore he's gone. Then Flair inducts someone into the nWo, despite not being an actual nWo member himself, which happened to be Booker T!
Official nWo @ Judgment Day: Kevin Nash, The Big Show, Booker T, X-Pac. Again, it's worth noting considering the Summer that we're heading into.
-- http://zerosignal620.wordpress.com/ The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing - Edmund Burke
Oh god the nWo is back. Hogan, Nash and Hall are all back. I wonder if Hall is drunk during this entrance.
Other wrestlers are angry at nWo and they feel sad. Nash promo once again hypes up nobody but he tries to keep it real.
Hall says they're wrestling fans at heart and he wants to drink beer with the others. Oh god.
Hogan thanks Vince McMahon and America.
TURN IT UP
Winner of this tag team event gets a title shot at Wrestlemania. First match is starting about 12 minutes in to this PPV.
Tag team turmoil: Scotty 2 Hotty & Albert vs. Christian & Lance Storm
Albert almost botches his press lift, then he does a giant swing. Scotty and Christian both try for finishers but fail.
Storm and Albert both go outside of the ring so here comes a worm to Christian. Storm runs in to stop, unprettier on Scotty and Christian gets a pin.
Christian & Lance Storm vs. Hardy Boyz
Matt's stuck in the ring from the start, eventually gets a hot tag to Jeff. Jeff is clearing house until he's caught in a half crab. Lance and Christian try to double team and mess up.
Storm gets a twist of fate and swanton and he's out.
Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz
Bubba comically oversells a splash. Dudleys quickly turn the tide, what's Bubba got here, a standing figure four?
Jeff and Bubba both miss moves and they tag in the fresh guys. Matt and D-Von both go to clothesline each other, everyone's in now. Lita and Stacy are fighting now too.
Bubba bomb on Matt but Lita hurricanranas Bubba. Matt rolls up D-Von and wins while holding the tights. Dudleys are mad and 3D Jeff outside the ring after.
Hardy Boyz vs. Billy & Chuck
Will Billy set himself up to win another tag team belt? Matt's the only one around as Jeff is still down out of the ring. Chuck with a superkick, fameasser from Billy and they win.
Billy & Chuck vs. APA
Bradshaw fallaway slams Chuck. There's some obvious double teaming and whoever this ref is kind of zoned out as he stares at it.
Billy's got a bloody nose and Faarooq gives him a spinebuster. Bradshaw is hot tagged in and he destroys Chuck. Clothesline from hell on Billy and the APA wins. Off to Wrestlemania with them.
Ha, looking at Billy take the clothesline on the replay, he flipped over from it.
Ric Flair thinks the wrestlers in WWF are ready to jump on nWo when they get the chance. Undertaker pushes aside Michael Cole to... I don't even know what his point is.
During Goldust's entrance, Lawler comments that he's not a fan of the letterbox screen format and he'd rather watch fullscreen movies. What an awful person.
Goldust vs. Rob Van Dam
Goldust tries to jump on RVD early. But they get in the ring and RVD hits all his unnecessary flips. Goldust runs out of the ring to buy some time while Lawler talks about what a big American Pie fan he is.
RVD chases down Goldust outside and gets the "RVD" chant going. Goldust gets in an unorthodox butt smash.
Camel clutch from Goldust. He does it three times to keep RVD down.
Flips and summersaults from RVD and a missile dropkick, two count though. Rolling thunder time and another kickout from Goldust. Frog splash misses and Goldust gets a two count in.
RVD escapes a curtain call and ducks a bulldog. He's up and hits the five star frog splash this time and wins.
--
ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER. Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...
nWo and Austin bump into each other. Scott Hall brought him beer, you mean Hall hasn't drank it all already? Austin doesn't accept the gift.
CAN YOU DIG IT SUCKA! Augh wait this involves Test too.
Booker T & Test vs. Tazz & Spike Dudley
Test is in keeping things boring but sometimes getting double teamed by the little guys. Now Spike is just getting beat up by both opponents for a while.
Dudley dog try just ends up with Spike tossed out of the ring. Scissor kick from Booker T and the spinaroonie! Crowd likes the spinaroonie.
Tazz finally tagged back in. Ducks a big boot and works his way out of a suplex try. Test tries a cover with his feet on the ropes and the ref sees it. Tazzmission is on and Test taps out!
Undertaker attacked Rock on a limo recently. Rock says it was an attempted career ender. Undertaker really is a dead man walking.
Brass knuckles on a pole match: Edge vs. William Regal
Edge going for the knuckles early and often. Regal knocks down Edge once and boosts himself up on Edge, good idea but it doesn't work.
Abdominal stretch on Edge and the crowd is chanting "Regal sucks". Regal gets Edge out of the ring and does a double underhook powerbomb. And Regal stretch on in the ring, Edge's mouth is all bloody.
Regal's trying the powerbomb again, on the apron this time and Edge grabs a rope and they both fall to the outside.
They're both up and by the pole, Regal gets the knuckls first but now both men fall again. Edge is gonna get them and Regal kicks the knuckles out of the ring.
Spear from Edge! No cover attempt, he wants the brass knuckles. Regal gets up and punches Edge, he had brass knuckles on too! Regal keeps his belt.
Angle and HHH are gonna fight tonight and Stephanie is guest ref.
But first Rock and Taker are feuding. Rock screwed Taker so Maven could be hardcore champ. Undertaker screwed Rock as well.
Undertaker vs. The Rock
Rock runs right to the ring to start the smackdown. Undertaker slows this thing right down and starts no-selling moves.
Big boot attempt is ducked and Taker's leg is stuck in the ropes. Out of the ring they go for some brawling, and they're near the spanish table.
One lady in the crowd is so happy to see Rock she reaches over and hugs him. Oh, and into the crowd they go. All the way to the exit doors and Rock is tosses through the doors. And back towards the ring they go, no table action.
Rock's trying to fight back but gets DDTed. Taker throws a tantrum and goes for a bear hug, the most fearsome of moves.
Now Rock's fighting back, DDT, he kicks up and wants a people's elbow. Taker gets up and goes for a chokeslam first, doesn't happen.
And here's the chokeslam. Taker takes too long to cover, Rock can kick out after 2.
Taker retreats to his motorcycle. Is he looking for a key or something? He's here for a while. Ref comes over, Taker knocks him out then grabs a pipe. And here comes Flair! Taker no sells Flair and knocks him down.
Rock's up though, sharpshooter on the Undertaker! Vince runs out too! Rock goes after Vince, Flair hits Taker with the pipe. Rock bottom on Taker, Rock wins. What a mess of a finish.
Mr. Perfect is stuck in WWF New York this time. That's unfortunate.
--
ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER. Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...
Somehow HHH's title shot from the rumble is on the line here against Angle. Also Stephanie and HHH are having marriage trouble oh gee oh no i'm so concerned stephanie gonna have a baby
oh no stephanie's not really having a baby it was all a ruse what drama oh gee golly
Stephanie is also guest referee because we didn't have enough of her from all those clips.
Kurt Angle vs. HHH
Angle's trying the rollup early while HHH is distracted. HHH is yapping with Stephanie a lot, boy I sure hope this whole match is HHH/Stephanie drama.
Stephanie is an awful ref, both guys are down and it takes her forever to start counting. Oh and lol Angle accidentally clotheslines her right over the top rope and she's dead.
Out come three refs, probably replacements. Oh, they're just checking on Stephanie. Finally a replacement, no hijinx while the ref was out? Hmm.
Suplex trio from Angle, this is such a long series of moves every time. The crowd's chanting "Angle sucks". Angle uses more suplexes.
HHH is starting to get in his moves, after a facebuster Angle goes for a walk. Wait, Angle just runs and knocks down Tim White. Low blow on HHH and Stephanie runs back out. Can't get the count in time though.
Ankle lock, HHH kicks off Angle and another ref bump, Stephanie's dead again. Tim White's knocked down again before he's even back up.
Angle grabs a chair, HHH ducks and gets in a pedigree. Oh here comes Tim White to count, but Stephanie kicks him out of the way at 2. HHH wants to pedigree Stephanie, here's Angle with a chair and an olympic slam. Angle wins and he's going to wrestlemania.
HHH is in the ring a couple minutes later selling the hell out of that beating. I've never heard Angle's theme go so long.
The nWo finds Rock. They want a picture with him for Hogan's son. They insult Rock, uh oh. He calls out Razor Ramon and Diesel, and tells Hogan to eat his vitamins.
--
ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER. Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...
Jericho's teasing the fans with his belts as he walks out.
Steve Austin vs. Chris Jericho
Both guys give middle fingers, seems like an even start to things.
WHOOOOO. Austin getting a ton of chops in, crowd is really going with it. This offense is all Austin.
They're both outside now, and more chops. How many have there been in this match so far? 30? 40?
Jericho finally gets in a couple chops of his own. Now they head over to the entrance area. Jericho's getting thrown into everything.
Back into the ring, Austin does a superplex three times. This match is quite the change of pace from normal, but also very one sided so far. More chops. Jericho gets in a quick low blow though.
Austin goes to the corner and bounces back, both guys just run past each other, someone missed a clothesline. Almost a walls of Jericho. Jericho's finally reciprocating all that offense Austin had.
Jericho goes for a chair shot but Hebner stops him. Irish whip, Austin is run into the timekeeper. Back to the ring, lionsault but it misses.
Austin wants to put Jericho in the walls! He can't turn him, so he slingshots him. Austin with a nice spinebuster too. Jericho gets a bulldog and now hits the lionsault. And a second one.
Thesz press is countered and the walls of Jericho are on now. Austin fights his way to the ropes.
Jericho wants to use the belt as a weapon, Hebner gets bumped down. Jericho gets dropped onto the belt, but Hebner gets over and Jericho kicks out. Austin's dropped onto the belt, this is a two count as well.
Bulldog attempt, another god damn ref bump. What. Austin gets the walls onto Jericho but Hebner's not around. Stunner too! Jericho is out.
Here comes the nWo! Austin's trying to take on all three. Hall gives Austin a stunner. Jericho's over and Hebner's up now, three count and Jericho retains.
nWo runs into the ring after to beat up Austin some more. Spray paint is out and they paint nWo on Austin's back.
God damn it is annoying to type nWo right, I may just give up on proper capitalization later.
Star of the PPV: The Rock
Botch of the PPV: D-Von telegraphs an obvious clothesline and instead of Matt ducking it, he also clotheslines. Only D-Von sells the hit.
--
ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER. Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...
Also, just 24 hours after becoming #1 contender, Kurt Angle is forced by Ric Flair to put his title shot on the line against HHH in a match without Stephanie involved. Trips gets the easy win, and the stage is set for Jericho/Hunter! Oh, and something about an epic encounter between Rock and Hogan >_>
I can't tell what level of sarcasm you meant in that last line. <_<
--
ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER. Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...
Mainly just joking around. I was excited for Rock/Hogan when it happened, meanwhile I knew Trips would be the one to bury Jericho as soon as his quad healed.
-- http://zerosignal620.wordpress.com/ The photograph reflects, every streetlight a reminder; nightswimming deserves a quiet night
No idea how old you are, but let's see, yeah if I was into wrestling in 02 I don't think I'd be thinking along those lines.
My thought process would likely have been yeah go Triple H he has the cool name. Though even as a young teen I do remember not caring about his matches after an entrance.
Of course I thought differently when I was 16, but during his injury, Trips was pretty much super over; the crowd cheered every time he appeared on the Titantron during Survivor Series live, and it was just a tribute video, and as soon as he announced his entry in the 2002 Royal Rumble, even back then, I knew the question at hand was "Is Trips beating Jericho or Austin @ WM?"
Rock/Hogan on the other hand, was up in the air between two icons. Rock's massive popularity vs. Hogan's massive ego to determine who puts the other guy over. There's a reason why that stole the show @ Mania, and a reason why no one gave a **** afterwards about the women's title match (with GOOD competitors) and Trips burying Jericho.
-- http://zerosignal620.wordpress.com/ My only regret is not having faith in Phoenix Wright. Hats off to SuperNiceDog
Goddamnit I forgot we was in the WWE. Eddie's so much smaller than Van Dam.
He's also weaker and gets hit by a clothesline and a powerslam. Eddie's got to use his quickness but he's already losing his temper.
Flip time, there's the split legged moonsault. Backdrop and a legdrop. RVD's got those educated feet. Tilta whirl backbreaker.
Eddie being pulled back away from the ropes and RVD will try and make him submit. Eddie gets out of the jam and is now on offense.
He's not chopping, he's just hammering away at Van Dam in the corner! Eddie went for the eyes and he's now got his swagger back.
Hang on, I've seen this match before. Oh wait it's the exact same one from the previous PPV. Monkey Flip by Van Dam ad Eddie's been hung on the ropes.
Rolling Thunder and Eddie kicks out. Rollup attempts, they don't work. Powerbomb to knock out RVD! The frog splash is incoming and RVD avoids it.
Rob Van Dam goes for his five star frog splash and he misses as well! High crossbody, midair collision and a kickout!
Rake to the eyes and a few stiff hits, backslide by RVD to counter, now Guerrero goes for his backslide, FEET ON THE ROPES! Eddie retains.
Who the hell is this giant with the tattoos. He's bald with a giant chain. Devon's testifying amen. Vince is also there and so's Stacy.
WWE WOMEN'S TITLE MATCH:
Trish Stratus (c) Vs. Stacy Keibler
Devon came out with the big guy who is actually called Deacon Batista. Hey look Bubba came out as well.
Backdrop, that came from up high. Those long legs sure are noiceable in that outfit. Boston Crab already. There's a bunch of counters.
Missed clothesline, neckbreaker and Trish is actually moving. Stacy seems to be wobbling around. She's not happy either.
Bubba's laughing in her face and he gets slapped for it. Deacon assaults Trish from behind. Trish kicked out. Deacon's power is weak man. Handful of hair by the challenger.
Kick to the face by Trish, Deacon sucks. Stacy missfired, Trish wins.
Devon yelling out Brother! He wants to hug his brother, Deacon tried to interfere but Bubba knocks him out. Devon knocks out Bubba. they try to put Bubba through the table, but he fights back, they still manage to get him through in the end.
Flair's talking with Arn and here comes Vince.
The Hardy Boyz Vs. Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman
I think the Lesnar theme has slightly changed. Jeff jumps into Brock and Matt goes in for a baseball slide. Paul Heyman's running.
He reminds me of Bobby Heenan. Brock's just running roughshod right through Jeff. Aerial tactics end up with Brock jumping into a suplex.
Matt's got the hot tag. He doesn't do much with it. Jeff and Matt double teaming Brock now.
They've got more success going now. Heyman's running for it but gets caught and the Hardyz are beating on him. Crossbody and Brock kicks out.
Jeff is thrown into Matt and F5! Heyman wants the tag and he pins Jeff for the win.
Oh my god, Booker T's now part of the nWo, who is this fool interviewing them.
HANDICAP MATCH:
Big Show and Ric Flair Vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin
Strikes by Austin and he's aggressively going after the both of them. Austin with a figure four and he avoids a Big show elbow drop.
Austin's got a chair and the ref takes t away, so Austin goes out and gets another chair. Austin's sitting down on it and then tosses the chair away.
Right hands to Flair and we've gone back to the partners staying in the corner. Austin brought a beer. Austin is choppin away like crazy at Flair, backdrop and Flair's begging mercy.
Big Show tags in, Austin does some pushups. Austin's hammering away at the Big Show. Low blow by Flair lil naitch didn't see nuthing.
WHAT! WOO! WHAT! WOO! WHAT! WOO!
Armdrag and now Austin's stomping away on Flair. Big show comes in and he gets hammered. Powerslam by Big Show. Big Show with the evil laugh.
Flair's attacking Austin's back. WOO! WOO! WOO!
Show's tagged in and he's going to work on Austin's knee. Flair's in, inside craddle and a kickout. Flair's got the Figure Four Leglock.
Austin reverses it and show drops an elbow to save him. Backslide by Austin, Flair kicks out and chops Austin. WHAT! WOO! WHAT! WOO! WHAT! WOO!
Spinebuster and Austin now has the figure four and Big Show drops the elbow on Austin again. STUNNER! Big show's still standing. Get out of my ring X-Pac.
Big Show, X-Pac and Flair all receive stunners and Austin can now drink his beer.
Cole and Tazz are hanging out and talking about Angle and Edge without any hair. Tazz talks about how being bald is embarrassing. Angle looks pretty good in the pictures without any hair.
Edge looks like Nigel.
HAIR VS HAIR MATCH:
Kurt Angle Vs. Edge
Edge, why couldn't you be in a hair vs hair match against Booker T at Mania.
Very fast paced action early on and Edge is trying to match Angle hold for hold. Baseball slide by Edge and he's banging Angle into the barricade.
More punches, backdrop and Edge has Angle tied up in the ropes. SPEAR! Edge goes for another one but gets suplexed over the ropes.
Angle stomping on Edge and the ref tells him to back off. Well if he can't stomp he sure can chop. Hard spinebuster.
Kicks to the head and Edge is down and possibly out. Punches and Edge is struggling to get to his feet. Elbow, missed clothesline, DDT cover and a kickout.
Angle's going with the headlock. Edge got taken down and Angle's using more suplexes again.
Front facelock and Edge gets up and fights out of it, chop. Suplex by Edge! SUPLEXES! EVERYWHERE!
Edge-o-matic! SUPLEX! MORE SUPLEXES! SUPLEXES ALL OVER THE PLACE! EDGE CAN FLY! Crossbody over the top rope.
Angle played possum and runs but Edge pushes him back down, MISSILE DROPKICK! ANGLE KEEPS HIS HAIR! SUPLEXES! OH GOD! Variation of the Edgecution!
Kurt's dazed, NO HE WAS PLAYING POSSUM! RUNS UP AND SUPLEXES EDGE! Edge can't get up, but he still kicked out. SUPERKICK BY EDGE!
DDT! COVER and Angle kicks out. SPEAR ON THE REF AFTER ANGLE SIDESTEPS HIM. ANOTHER HARD SUPLEX! Ref's still knocked out, Angle goes for a chair. SPEAR! HE'S GOT THE COVER BUT THE REF IS STILL DOWN!
Brian Hebner compared to 2002 NBA refs. I CLEARLY HAVE NO IDEA WHICH GAMES ARE BEING REFERENCED! SPEAR ON ANGLE! ANGLE KICKED OUT AGAIN!
THESE MEN WILL GO THROUGH ANY TRIALS TO KEEP THEIR HAIR. DDT ATTEMPT COUNTERED AND THERE'S A GODDAMN SPEAR BY ANGLE AND THE ANGLE SLAM HOLY CHRIST EDGE KICKED OUT!!!
ENZIGURI! At this stage any move could be a gamechanger and THERE IT IS! THE ANKLE LOCK! EDGE KICKS ANGLE AND ROLLS HIM UP! ANGLE'S GOING TO LOSE HIS HAIR!
CROWD GOES MENTAL! Angle's attacking Edge from behind.
Booker T's in bed and with a chick. Lights off. Goldust's in there. Wow, Booker T was packing some serious heat.
There's another Vince McMahon vs a wrestler feud it includes Triple H this time. Oh hey look Jericho's in there somewhere.
HELL IN CELL MATCH:
Chris Jericho Vs. Triple H
Triple H punching early, backbodydrop and more punches in the corner. Jericho countering with use of the cage. Triple H is still punching.
Forearm by Jericho and now he's punching. Timmy White's telling them to stop punching each other. Jericho agrees and starts chopping in the corner. Triple H likes punching in the corner.
Jericho runs in and crashes into the post. Triple H can do what makes him that damn good and punch some more. Triple H goes over the top ropes.
Whip to the steps by Triple H, he wanted a piledriver on those steps and Jericho's been hit hard into the cage and he's bleeding.
He's brought a ladder into the match. Triple H has also been lacerated. I don't know why but after the Angle match I feel drained for a damn Hell in a Cell match.
Jericho knocks Triple H down with that ladder and he's now punching him again. Triple H was whipped into the cage again. Jericho's got the ladder but he just ran into a chairshot.
Bulldog on the ladder by Jericho! Triple H is dazed. Triple H just threw the steps into Jericho's face. Timmy White just crashed into the cage and JR starts talking about keys.
Chairshot and both men are down, Jericho's got the cover but he's not winning when the ref is down. Jericho decided to assault the ref and he's been lacerated.
SPINEBUSTER! From Triple H, the refs are now using wirecutters. Jericho runs with a chair, what a dangerous to thing to do when a boot's in front of you. Triple H just found what he wanted.
SLEDGEHAMMER RIGHT IN THE FACE OF JERICHO! Triple H is counting himself to prove his point, but there's still no referee. Jericho's leaving the cage on all fours. He just slammed the door into Triple H.
Triple H is now getting hit on the tables. DDT RIGHT THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE!
BLAST FROM THE PAST, TRIPLE H HAS THE BARBED WIRE 2 X 4! Jericho climbs up the cage and Triple H is in hot pursuit. Jericho uses it on Triple H's spine, ANOTHER shot to the back.
WALLS OF JERICHO ON TOP OF THE CAGE! MIKE CHIODA'S CLIMBING TO THE TOP OF THE CAGE! Will he tap out on top of the cage!
DOWNSTAIRS! Low Blow by the Game, Pedigree attempt, backdrop from Jericho, the cage survives. Jericho gets hit on the head by the 2 x 4. There was a cover there. Pedigree attempt and it connects! On the top of the cell and Triple H wins.
Angle's trying to evade Edge. They really like their get the F out campaign.
WWE TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Billy and Chuck (c) Vs. Rikishi and Rico
Mr McMahon chose Rikishi's partner. Billy's attacking Rikishi early and he's not faring well, a superkick knocks him out. Flapjack on the double team and Rikishi's down.
He avoids a dropkick, neckbreaker and in comes Chuck. shoulder charges and punches. Rikishi's been isolated but he also doesn't want to tag in Rico. Belly to Belly and Rikishi's hurt.
Still no tag and Chuck and billy are just beating up Rikishi. Rico attacks Rikishi and he ducks, connects with Billy. Rikishi knocks out Rico. Superkick and a pin. Rikishi just won the tag titles.
Dancing to the pyros.
Edge looking for Angle, but he gets hit from behind. Haircut's incoming. They're still brawling and Edge has the sleeper hold on!
Angle's just gone bald. Hit the music, it's kinda late. YOU'RE BALD! YOU'RE BALD!
Look at the video package, it shows us backlash all over.
Undertaker takes Hogan's strap and whacks him with it. Silly Hulkamania bringing in weapons for his enemy.
Oh now Hogan's got the strap and he's smackind Undertaker. Bell rings. Hogan with the rake to the eyes as soon as he hears it.
Punch in the corner, tons of strikes and Hogan's choking Undertaker. Hulkamania is running wild and the shirt get ripped.
Irish whip. Random fan: "DID YOU SEE THAT! OH MY GOD!" Hogan with a chop and some punches. Hogan's baldness exposed, crowd boos.
Old school time, Hogan counters it. Superplex and Undertaker's shoulder comes up. Chop Block and Undertaker's going for the legs of the old man.
Hang on hat old man's our champion! Better than Austin! Hogan takes another hit too the leg. Hogan using his leg to knock the hell out of The Undertaker.
More punches and Undertaker whacks him with an Uppercut. BIG BOOT! LEGDROPPED MISSES! Undertaker's got a busted mouth and he's also got a single leg crab.
Hogan makes it to the ropes. Break. Undertaker going for the midsection with those punches. Hogan sneakily avoids the big boot.
Ducked clothesline and Undertaker hits him with a chokeslam. Hogan kicked out. He's started hulking up. Undertaker can' do anything about it.
PUNCH! PUNCH! PUNCH! BIG BOOT! LEGDROP! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Hollywood Hulk Hogan's power is just not the same. Here's Mr McMahon. THERE'S ANOTHER LEGDROP!
Vince is in the way and Hogan brings him in. Huge punch and a legdrop knocks him out. STEEL CHAIR by the Undertaker. Chokeslam and The Undertaker beats Hogan.
Undertaker drives a chair into Hogan's throat and now he's assaulting him some more.
The big news in this timeframe was Steve Austin getting upset with the writers and, in the words of WWE, "taking his ball and going home." We won't see Austin again until February, and until then he's definitely persona non grata. One step below Benoit-ed!
Billy and Chuck got their Tag Titles back from Rikishi and Rico. Billy is now a 10-time Tag Champ!
RVD finally got the title back from Eddie in a fantastic ladder match on Raw.
Hardcore starts on Steven Richards and goes: Steven Richards -> Tommy Dreamer -> Raven -> Steven Richards -> Tommy Dreamer -> Raven -> Steven Richards -> Terri Runnels -> Steven Richards -> Tommy Dreamer -> Raven -> Steven Richards -> Bradshaw -> Raven -> Spike Dudley -> Shawn Stasiak -> Bradshaw
Raven now a 21-time Hardcore Champion. Suck it, Crash! The house shows with the Richards-Dreamer-Raven-Richards cycles must have been really fun for old ECW fans.
Undisputed Champion: The Undertaker Women's: Trish Stratus
Intercontinental: Rob Van Dam European: William Regal Hardcore: Bradshaw
Tag Team: Billy & Chuck Cruiserweight: The Hurricane
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Thank you, Eddie Guerrero. http://tinyurl.com/73jgc2r