16th in is Godfather and he's got some ho's with him! Twelve of them. And the cameras show this for a full minute instead of any ring action. And JR tells us DDP is eliminated 13th by either/both Chuck or/and Christian. Oh, replay shows it was Christian.
TURN IT UP? What? Oh, yeah. 17th in is Albert, I forgot he's a hip hop guy now. Christian and Chuck toss Albert out as 14th. And Godfather goes for a ho train but it misses and they both eliminate Godfather as 15th.
18th in is Perry Saturn. I thought he was buried to all hell after Moppy, but then again they did need to fill the roster here. He can do a nice suplex I guess.
19th in is Steve Austin, looking for #4. He tosses Christian, who's 16th out. Saturn gets a stunner. Austin tosses out Chuck, the 17th out, and Saturn the 18th out. Ring is cleared again. He's got time to kill, he brings Christian and Chuck back in and eliminates them both again.
HELLO LADIES. 20th in is Val Venis. Austin with some kicks but Val's getting in more offense. Thesz press though!
21st in is Test. He and Val double team Austin, but Test gets Val with a big boot by mistake. Austin tosses out Val as 19th gone, then a stunner and Test is 20th gone. Ring cleared yet again.
22nd in is HHH. The water bottle entrance takes almost the full 2 minutes.
23rd in is Hurricane. HHH and Austin knock each other down and Hurricane gives POSE AFTER POSE! He wants to chokeslam both guys, but they combine to toss Hurricane out 21st.
24th in is Faarooq. He gets in a spinebuster, but then is stunnered. HHH knocks out Faarooq and he's 22nd gone.
25th in is Mr. Perfect! His strap is already down, he's ready. He's trying to take on both Austin and HHH.
26th in is Kurt Angle. YOU SUCK has finally arrived. Damn liars all across the internet told me Edge started it mid-2002.
27th in is Big Show. He wants to chokeslam everyone but is stopped. Angle can't suplex him. Big boots and clotheslines and headbutts everywhere. This is Big Show's entire moveset.
28th in is Kane. Time for some eliminations. He and Big Show have a staredown. Kane bodyslams Big Show over the top rope! Big Show is 23rd out. But Austin stunners Kane, and Angle olympic slams Kane out as 24th.
29th in is Rob Van Dam. He slips on the apron coming in the ring. But he still gives Angle a five star frog splash! Rolling thunder! Spin kicks! But HHH gives RVD a pedigree. Everyone's down.
CAN YOU DIG IT SUCKA! 30th man in is Booker T! He tosses out RVD right away, RVD is 25th out. Booker T doesn't have anyone up to fight, so he just does a spinaroonie! And Austin stunners Booker T and he oversells it so hard to be 26th out.
HHH, Austin, Angle, and Mr. Perfect are the final four. Angle with an olympic slam on HHH. And now suplexes on Austin. Austin's trying to get out Perfect, and Angle knocks out Austin! Austin's 27th gone.
Austin blames Perfect, Perfect and Angle are out of the ring fighting Austin. And Austin gets a chair and takes out both Angle and Perfect. And HHH gets hit as well.
Angle almost eliminates Perfect, but he hangs on. Mr. Perfect comes back and gets a perfectplex! Snapmare followup, but HHH knocks out Perfect as the 28th elimination.
HHH takes down Angle. But here's a suplex, HHH is sitting on the apron. Angle ducks a clothesline and dumps HHH, but he hangs on. Angle's busy celebrating and HHH knocks him out to win the rumble.
Star of the PPV: Triple H
Botch of the PPV: Vicne struggled to take a picture with a camera. "How do I take a picture" *bulb flashes in his face*
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ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...