No Way Out 2002
Oh god the nWo is back. Hogan, Nash and Hall are all back. I wonder if Hall is drunk during this entrance.
Other wrestlers are angry at nWo and they feel sad. Nash promo once again hypes up nobody but he tries to keep it real.
Hall says they're wrestling fans at heart and he wants to drink beer with the others. Oh god.
Hogan thanks Vince McMahon and America.
TURN IT UP
Winner of this tag team event gets a title shot at Wrestlemania. First match is starting about 12 minutes in to this PPV.
Tag team turmoil: Scotty 2 Hotty & Albert vs. Christian & Lance Storm
Albert almost botches his press lift, then he does a giant swing. Scotty and Christian both try for finishers but fail.
Storm and Albert both go outside of the ring so here comes a worm to Christian. Storm runs in to stop, unprettier on Scotty and Christian gets a pin.
Christian & Lance Storm vs. Hardy Boyz
Matt's stuck in the ring from the start, eventually gets a hot tag to Jeff. Jeff is clearing house until he's caught in a half crab. Lance and Christian try to double team and mess up.
Storm gets a twist of fate and swanton and he's out.
Hardy Boyz vs. Dudley Boyz
Bubba comically oversells a splash. Dudleys quickly turn the tide, what's Bubba got here, a standing figure four?
Jeff and Bubba both miss moves and they tag in the fresh guys. Matt and D-Von both go to clothesline each other, everyone's in now. Lita and Stacy are fighting now too.
Bubba bomb on Matt but Lita hurricanranas Bubba. Matt rolls up D-Von and wins while holding the tights. Dudleys are mad and 3D Jeff outside the ring after.
Hardy Boyz vs. Billy & Chuck
Will Billy set himself up to win another tag team belt? Matt's the only one around as Jeff is still down out of the ring. Chuck with a superkick, fameasser from Billy and they win.
Billy & Chuck vs. APA
Bradshaw fallaway slams Chuck. There's some obvious double teaming and whoever this ref is kind of zoned out as he stares at it.
Billy's got a bloody nose and Faarooq gives him a spinebuster. Bradshaw is hot tagged in and he destroys Chuck. Clothesline from hell on Billy and the APA wins. Off to Wrestlemania with them.
Ha, looking at Billy take the clothesline on the replay, he flipped over from it.
Ric Flair thinks the wrestlers in WWF are ready to jump on nWo when they get the chance. Undertaker pushes aside Michael Cole to... I don't even know what his point is.
During Goldust's entrance, Lawler comments that he's not a fan of the letterbox screen format and he'd rather watch fullscreen movies. What an awful person.
Goldust vs. Rob Van Dam
Goldust tries to jump on RVD early. But they get in the ring and RVD hits all his unnecessary flips. Goldust runs out of the ring to buy some time while Lawler talks about what a big American Pie fan he is.
RVD chases down Goldust outside and gets the "RVD" chant going. Goldust gets in an unorthodox butt smash.
Camel clutch from Goldust. He does it three times to keep RVD down.
Flips and summersaults from RVD and a missile dropkick, two count though. Rolling thunder time and another kickout from Goldust. Frog splash misses and Goldust gets a two count in.
RVD escapes a curtain call and ducks a bulldog. He's up and hits the five star frog splash this time and wins.
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ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...