Current Events > CYOA: Your name is Karen

(+) Yeah! (+)

A

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I want to explore the Ivanka/Trump thing more. B

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A

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B
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A) You've wanted this, go have sex

You bite your lip and throw Donald onto the countertop. You start tearing off his clothes. His sweat stains make the removal difficult. His shirt gets caught over his head. You finally manage to get him undressed and desperately try to take off your clothes. You throw your underwear to the ground and find Donald looking through the refrigerator attempting to make a sandwich. You look to him in disbelief. He shrugs.
"Aren't we going to have sex?" you say angrily.
"I already finished." he says pointing the to stains on his underwear.
"Of course." you mutter to yourself. Donald completely oblivious to you is bent over, his head inside the refrigerator as he looks for butter.

You come to moments later, Donald's bloody body on the floor, his head crushed like a watermelon thrown from the Empire State building.
"What happened?" you ask yourself before flashing back to seconds earlier. You remember grabbing the door and screaming as you slammed the door repeatedly. It was the first orgasm you've had since Julio. It dawns on you. You've killed your husband. You've killed the President.

What do you do?
A) Proclaim yourself this countries new President
B) You have to hide the body
C) The world can't know Trump is dead, stage an elaborate set up to make the world think he's still alive


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C

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C

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C

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A

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A

First manager of the US, then the world

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C) The world can't know Trump is dead, stage an elaborate set up to make the world think he's still alive

The world can't know about this. You try to compose yourself and grab a broom. You shove the broom down the neck hole and drag Trump into the his office. You print out a picture of his face and glue it to the broom. You prop Donald into his chair and tweet out that a that everything is going fine along with a picture of the corpse giving a thumbs up. Nancy Pelosi is the first to comment that it's clearly a broom and not President Trump, her followers agree with her. Ted Cruz tells her she's wrong and that Donald has never looked better. Ted DMs you.
"Looking good chief. :D"

You've been sitting in the Oval Office for three hours, tweeting every five minutes to keep up the charade. Can you do this for the rest of your life? The first few tweets were easy.
"OBAMAGATE" sure Obama died in the American Revolution of 2022, but Donald's supporters love the classics.
"BUILD THE WALL" Mexico doesn't even exist anymore, but the space wall looks promising. "KEEP OUT THOSE LITERAL ILLEGAL ALIENS!" "CLARK KENT, MORE LIKE CLARK GET BENT!"
"ABACUS!" the tweets became more nonsensical as the day went on. Suddenly you hear knocking at the door.
"Yo DT, It's ya girl Hilary and Billy, we're here to party!"

What do you do?
A) Hide, you can sneak out while they laugh about Epstein
B) Hide under Donald's desk and fake a conversation until they leave
C) You'll have to kill the Clintons
D) Sneak out and then back in and act clueless

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C

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B

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B

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D. Lets be real this is the most Karen like behavior.

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D
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My aunt's name is Karen.

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B. Weekend at Donnies - Lets see if we can get her an accomplice to walk Donnie around with sunglasses and an increasingly problematic, yet amusing case of rigor mortis.

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D

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D
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Iodine posted...

My aunt's name is Karen.

Your aunt should be honored to have the same name as the hero who saved America
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D

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D) Sneak out and then back in and act clueless

You look around the room and then to the open window. You'll have to get out and sneak back in like you know nothing. You can hear Hilary and Bill talking outside.
"Hey Donny, everything alright in there?" Hilary yells through the door. You can see the doorknob moving. You jump out the window and land in the bushes below as the door opens. You land pretty hard but immediately get up and start running around the White House back to the main entrance. The staff looks at you in confusion as you jog around the premises while bleeding and hobbling on a broken heel. The staff offers to help, but you refuse them. The help should be seen not heard and definitely not touched.

"Hey Karen!" someone yells in the distance. You look over to find Ted Cruz in a golf cart shirtless holding a can of bud lite and some hot dogs. "You okay! Looking rough!" he laughs as you suddenly remember today was your White House BBQ. That's why Hilary and Bill are here.
"Hey Ted." you say trying but failing to be enthusiastic.
"SO what's the deal Scarey Karey, why are you out here and not with the Big Dog?" Ted says with a laugh.

What do you do?
A) Have Ted drive you back to the office
B) Take Ted's golf cart, also uninvite him from the BBQ
C) To hell with going back, flee with Ted
D) Fuck it, kill Ted Cruz

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D with a 9-iron

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D, the only logical option left.

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I just started reading the thread today and I skipped to now XDDDDD

Award for best CE thread please

FabIemaster posted...

D, the only logical option left.

D
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D

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D) f*** it, kill Ted Cruz

You glare at Ted and look at the tire iron in his golf cart.
"Ted." you start as you make your way towards his cart. Ted clearly misinterprets your actions and laughs.
"Karen, we shouldn't" he says attempting to be seductive as he looks at your chest.
"Ted." you repeat as you grab the tire iron."Do you think anyone will miss you when you're gone?" you ask as you push his body away from your's.
"Haha, I'm sure my wife would..." he says unsure of how to take your comment.
"Let me try asking again. Ted, do you think anyone will miss you when you're gone?" Ted stops laughing.
"What are you getting at Karen?" he asks nervously positioning his foot on the gas. There's a long silence. You grab Ted by the fat of his neck and throw him to the floor. He screams as you lift the tire iron into the air.
"This is my kink!" he yells before you smash his face into the ground. You just keep slamming the tire iron into the ground until it breaks. You're interrupted by the sound of clapping. You turn to find the White House staff clapping. Your favorite FBI agent gives you a thumbs up.

What do you do?
A) Back to business, head to the Oval Office
B) Claim the Clintons are trying to kill Donald and lead the charge to the Oval Office
C) Flee the White House

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B
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BatmanWTtP posted...

Nancy Pelosi is the first to comment that it's clearly a broom and not President Trump

BatmanWTtP posted...

"This is my kink!" he yells before you smash his face into the ground.

Dying, lmao

Holy shit B

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B

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B

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FabIemaster posted...

Holy shit B

B
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B

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B) Claim the Clintons are trying to kill Donald and lead the charge to the Oval Office

You take a quick bow and then take a deep breath and let your instincts take over. You can hear the voice. It's been so long. I am thou and we are Karen.
"HELP, THE CLINTONS ARE TRYING TO EPSTIEN MY HUSBAND!" You yell before jamming your foot on the pedal and speeding towards the main entrance. The FBI follows you in their best BBQ outfits.

You ride the golf cart into the house and start yelling at security inside the building.
" THEY'RE KILLING MY HUSBAND!" you yell so that they can charge ahead of you. You can hear them calling reinforcements on their walkie talkies. This is your chance. You drive into the the Oval Office and start screaming.
"HIS HEAD, OH MY GOD HE'S DEAD!" You ram your cart into a shocked Hilary. Bill stands over Donald's body in confusion as the FBI draw their guns on him. You leap out of the golf cart and start stomping a mud hole into Hilary. You make sure to kill her because it's the only way to shut her up. You don't care if Bill lives because what the fuck is he going to say. Bill drops to his knees as the FBI surrounds him. You rush over to Donald's lifeless body and start crying.
"Oh my beautiful Patriot!" you let out a horrible scream as the FBI drags you away from the crime scene. It's hard not to smile.

The FBI finds Mike's body moments later, Bill and the now deceased Hilary are believed to be the prime suspects. You're murder of Hilary was claimed as self defense. You are now the most powerful woman in the United States Part 2. Or at least you would be, if it wasn't for the bitch in the limo.

The White House staff is assembled outside alongside the remnants of the mass media after the massacre of 23. A limo stops and the voice of Michael Buffer echos throughout the nation.
"Lllllladies and Gentlemen, please welcome, your NEW, reigning and defending President of this United States of Americaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, Nnnnancy PeeeeLosiiiiii!"
Nancy makes her way out of the limo, arms raised in victory as X Gonna Give it To Ya plays over the speakers, a screaming crowd chants her name as she's sworn into office.

What do you do?
A) Cash in brother, this here is my land
B) Nancy is too strong, you'll have to wait for your chance later
C) Seduce Pelosi and become her First Lady


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C
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B is the only right answer here

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A

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B

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C

C

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Is A code for killing Pelosi? Seeing how that's Karen's solution to everything.
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OrangeCrush980 posted...

Is A code for killing Pelosi? Seeing how that's Karen's solution to everything.

Yes

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A
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C

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Unbelievably historic thread right here, binging it this evening was a blast.

B

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