Current Events > Experimental CYOA: You might be trapped in a simulation

(+) Yeah! (+)

Noon bump. I'm not good with fight scenes. >_>
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Being made of metal, Dogknob should be weak to electricity, right? Cast a series of telebubbles filled with metal pieces from the broken appliances to try to arc electricity from the sparking light socket to Dogknob - while hes standing in the stream of water too, if possible
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bump becuase im totally updating right now
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Up!
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>Telebubble a bunch of metal pieces from broken appliances to arc electricity from sparking light socket

While Dogknob is still stunned from ramming into the wall, you take this brief opportunity to look around for other things you can use. Spotting the junk pile of broken appliances, you look back to the sparking lightbulb and at the puddle, then grin as you bubble up a bunch of metal pieces.

"Telebubble!" you yell as you swish your sporkwand around, creating an army of bubbles encasing a bunch of metal. You don't have time to count how many you got, though, since Dogknob is back on the move.

SP [ 70% ]

You jump out of the way, but only barely since you're focused on controlling the bubbles.

Fortunately for Dogknob, there isnt a wall to obstruct it this time. Unfortunately for Dogknob, as it turns around to make another charge, it slides backwards and falls on its back.

You take this moment to swish your wand and arrange the bubbled metal into a chain towards the sparking lightbulb, but you don't let it touch just yet since you don't want the bubbles popping.

Dogknob gets up and to no one's surprise, charges at you yet again.

Behind you is the puddle, with the leaking pipes to your right of the puddle. You're gonna have to be precise about this since this isn't a very effective way to get anything wet.

You're not even sure if this is gonna work. There might be too many impurities in the metal. Electric shocks need prolonged exposure to be fatal. Dogknob might not even be too conductive since you deduce that its made of brass from the brass shavings you saw upstairs and--

Dogknob's really close to you now. No time to think. You grit your teeth and get out of the way.
The moment Dogknob reaches the puddle, you let the bubble chain contact it and the sparking lightbulb.

Electricity jolts out of the lightbulb and shocks Dogknob for a moment. The bubbles pop and stop the flow of electricity, but it was enough for Dogknob to stop moving and trip into the puddle. Its body spins around since it lost traction from the puddle, then it strikes the pipes.

The pipes burst out into a cannon of water, soaking Dogknob up completely.

The victory message hasn't appeared yet. You gotta finish it quickly. You tighten the grip on your wand and scream out "Telebubble!", forming the chain once again.

SP [ 55% ]

Dogknob gets shocked once again, this time with much more power since it's completely wet.

The bubbles pop, but you quickly rebubble the chain. This is beyond inefficient, but you're beyond rationality at this point. You scream as Dogknob gets smited by the basement lights.

SP [ 30% ]
SP [ 5% ]

You keep your teeth gritted, pushing out every inch of energy you got to keep this chain going. Dogknob continues to get fried.

SP [ 0% ]

The lightbulb shorts out and leaves the room in darkness once again. All you can hear is the sound of sizzling and sparks.

The room illuminates sporadically for split seconds thanks to the occasional sparks that still come out of the shorted lightbulb. You can barely make out Dogknob being pixelized.

[ SIMU-SCUFFLE: Dogknob, WIN! ]

Dani Satellyte:
[ Affinity up! Lv 1 -> Lv 3 Clever Caster ]
[ Level up bonus: Inventory expanded! (DRIVE: +1 RAM Slot) ]
[ New Skill: Word of Power (Cast, SP10%, Description: Vibrate the air abruptly to forcefully push anything in front of you back)
[ 100 Icas get! ]
Your Icas: 100
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You clutch the pendant tightly, almost crushing it as you look away from it. However, it pixelizes into your inventory instead. "Fuck off, mother," you whisper under your breath.

[ Satela Pendant acquired. Allocated to RAM. ]
[ HUD Feature unlocked: Minimap ]

A small square appears in the corner of your minimap, depicting a top view layout of the basement floor. Looks like the darkness won't be a problem now.

You ascend back to the living room, panting a bit from the battle. Your fatigue quickly goes away, however, since your HP is nearly full. It really does make you feel something far from human.
You stand before the large doors once more and materalize the pendant. Placing it into the star indentation, you see that it's a perfect fit.

The doors don't open though. Instead, a prompt appears: [ Teleport ]

What else will do you in this house?

~~~

>Nobert: Awaken

Your fantastic dream of questionable obscenities get interrupted by the roaring sound of a motorcycle revving. You get up and glare at the source with a frown.

Evi waves at you with a shit-eating grin. "C'mon ya doof, it's daytime and we got a creepy green orb t'teleport in!"

You rub your eyes and sluggishly walk over to the motorcycle, then drop your butt on the backseat.

Evi pouts. "You're gonna wanna hold on y'know."

You sigh. "Yeah yeah just go already."

She floors forward for a moment, flinging you back into the ground. She then backs up next to you. "So, d'ya want me t'keep goin'?"

You flip her off and get on properly, clutching onto her lazily. "When I get fully awake, you are so dead."

She grins and zooms ahead with the thunderous sound of her engine. A flock of birds fuck off into the sky thanks to Evi's disturbance.

The two of you arrive before the orb, still untouched and still weird as ever. The prompt appears once again: [ Teleport ]

What do you do?
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Dani, Nob, Evi: Teleport
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up
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>Dani: Teleport

You take one last look at this house. Even if it is just a simulated version, it still gives you some sentimental feelings.
You then take a deep breath and focus on the prompt in front of you.
The pendant pixelizes back into you, but the pixels fly all around you as you get engulfed in a blue light.

>Nobert: Teleport

You and Evi nod at each other, then you focus in on the prompt.
A blue light engulfs you both. You hold Evi tighter as she tightens her grip on the handlebars, though she uses one hand to shoo a frantic Peon off of her face.

...

The blue light fades, and your vision returns to the sight of the entrance of a...white cave? You rub your eyes to make sure you didn't just become colorblind. Yep, those are white rocks forming a cave. It looks pitch black inside, however. You look around you and see little green dots below. Oh wait, those are trees. You figure that you're on top of a mountain or something.

Evi's jaw drops. "Hey, this here's where I was gonna go t'get wings!"

You lean over to get a better view of the cave. "Linnie, those are a bunch of rocks. Not feathers."

She elbows you with a smile. "Thanks for lettin' me know, thought I didn't have eyes for a sec." Her face turns to a pout. "No ya dingus, there's some kinda dragon in there! If y'can rip off its wings, you can put em on and head straight to the sky!"

You grimace a bit. "Oof, that sounds great but kinda hardcore."

She revs up the bike. "I'll take hardcore over stayin' here."

With that, the two of you begin to rush into the cave, only for blue light to flash above you as something crashes from the sky and gets rammed by the bike.

In the next moment, all you see is a young girl in her pajamas being flung a few feet in front of you while the sound of screeching tires echo out of the cave walls.

You shake Evi. "Oh shit, I think you just killed someone!"

Her teeth clatter. "I can't afford t'go to prison! They don't got blades there!"

"Sally there are two problems with those words," you say while looking around to see if anyone saw that, "One, that's real adorable that you think prison doesn't have any blades, and two, we can probably just book it and no one'll suspect it was us."

She revs up the bike again. "Great idea! Time to--"

The girl groans softly and starts to get up.

You let out a breath of relief. "Oh thank god, she's not dead--"

Evi screams. "HOLY SMOKES ITS A ZOMBIE!" she yells out as she rams the young girl again.

This time she wasn't flung as far since Evi couldn't accelerate fast enough.

You shake Evi wildly. "EVI I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO PRISON."

She turns around with a pale face. "Yeah well I don't wanna get bitten and become a zombie!"

The young girl groans once again and raises her arm weakly.

Evi screams again and reaches for the accelerator.

You slap her hand off. "Dude, will you cut that shit?!"

The girl's hand points upward as she starts to speak with a shaky voice. "Yes...please...listen to the man with a sense of--"

Evi slaps your hand away and revs up the bike. "IT'S TRYING TO NEGOTIATE!"

You jab the sides of her stomach, causing her to let go of the handlebar in surprise. "Zoey, for one second can we please try to avoid prison."

The girl's hand forms a thumbs up, then falls limp to the ground.

What do you do?
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I scratch my balls since it's kinda itchy there and also smell her pussy since I felt curious about it

Nob: Poke girl in pajamas with your foot to make absolutely she isn't dead/to be a jerk.
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Evi: bless some water and pour it on Dani. Then Nob for possibly contracting something.
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up
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>Nobert: Scratch thine scrote, among other things

Well, you certainly feel an itch down there thanks to the terrible material of your disco pants, but that's the least of your worries.

>Poke girl in pajamas with your foot

You get off the bike and slowly approach the girl.

She's not moving one bit.

You get close to her and poke her with your foot.

Evi screams. "Are ya crazy?!" she says while hopping off the bike and running out the cave.

The girl slowly gets up. You jump back in surprise.

She groans. "Yes...are you crazy? Running over people so casually."

Evi: bless some water and pour it on Dani. Then Nob for possibly contracting something.

You run back into the cave with hopefully-blessed-water that you found in a nearby puddle cupped in your hands. "Worry not unholy heathens! Y'all gonna get cleansed!"

You splash the water on the girl and on pants-guy.

>Nobert: Become unamused

You look at Evi, unamused.

>Dani: Become very unamused.

You look at edgemasterX, very unamused.

>Evi: Become amused.

You smile at them. "There! Now you're all safe!"

The girl lets out a very exhausted sigh. "Look, I'm not a zombie, okay?"

You raise an eyebrow at her. "Oh yeah? Prove it!"

Peon flies frantically in your face. "You foolish mortal! This one's soul is pure!--"

You swat Peon away.

What will you (Dani) do to prove you're not a zombie?
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Point out that zombies don't usually talk to people and why should I prove that I'm not a zombie when they can't prove that I am a zombie.
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Ingest some sort of healing item. Healing items normally hurt zombies because RPG logic.
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Eevee-Trainer posted...

Ingest some sort of healing item. Healing items normally hurt zombies because RPG logic.

Good call. She could probably use the potion too considering she just got rammed with a motorcycle
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>Dani: Use some healing item

You sigh and cross your arms. "Okay, well, you know how undead monsters in games take damage from healing? If you give me a healing item and I die from it, there's your proof."

EdgemasterX looks over to Nopants excitedly. "Oh yeah! This zombie's pretty smart. Well you heard her, give up the potion!"

Nopants wears a very forced smile. "Alright. So. You're not gonna like this."

She pouts. "I already don't like that tone of yours. What's the hold up?!"

He holds out his hands, revealing nothing but bare air. "Here's your potion."

She lets out an equally forced smile. "Hm. So. I have a question."

He tilts his head. "Yes?"

"Where's the potion?"

"Whatever do you mean? It's right here."

Her smile starts to crack. "Oh, lovely...! Dearie me, I must be getting old. Uh, I don't think I see a potion."

He exaggerates his empty hands, still keeping his robotic jovial expression. "Oh, silly granny! That's right! You DRANK the potion because a certain SOMEONE decided to be a DUMBASS and recklessly charge at a bear!"

She laughs without moving her mouth. "Oh dearie! Now whoever could be foolish enough to--"

He runs up to Evi and shakes her. "Holy SHIT can we PLEASE just let her go she's CLEARLY not a zombie."

>Point out that zombies don't usually talk to people and why should I prove that I'm not a zombie when they can't prove that I am a zombie.

You brush off dust from your pajamas. "Yes, please listen to the sensible disco man here." You adjust your nonexistent glasses, similar to the manner you see in anime all the time. "Besides, if I truly were a zombie, would I be able to..." you point your finger at her grandiosely, "...talk to people?!"

Your voice echoes throughout the cave.

She lets out a gasp and staggers back as if you just shoved her. "Oh heck, have I been wrong this entire time?!"

Nopants facepalms.

You let the imaginary breeze blow your hair back menacingly. "Not only that! Why should I prove I'm not a zombie..." you point all five of your fingers at her, "...when you can't prove I am a zombie?!"

She falls on her back from the force of your words. "Holy smokes! This zombie's tougher than I thought!"

"Heh," you say, turning your back on her and adjusting your imaginary anime glasses once more. Holy shit you're too much of a weaboo to be socializing with other people irl.

Nopants helps her up. "So, we done being dumb yet?"

She pouts and walks back to the motorcycle. "Fine. But if we get bitten, I flippin' called it."

You turn around again, defeating the purpose of you turning back in the first place. You then whip your left arm outwards, as though you were unveiling an imaginary cape. "Greetings, nopants!"

He looks at you with a very confused and slightly fearful face. "Uh..."

You make a checkmark on your chin with your thumb and pointer. "Heh. I'll forgive you for your insolence. After all," you repeat the cape-flipping motion, "you stand before the great Satellyte!"

He pauses with a blank face. Shortly after, he materializes a laptop, glances at it, then back at you. "Wait, seriously? Shit dude, I thought you were a dude. Hell, you don't even talk like you do online."
---

You put your hands on your hips, standing tall like a superhero. "Yet another insolent assumption! Only a fool would be careless enough to not keep their online and offline personas separate!" you say with bravado, but you'd rather die than admit you're just a lot less awkward online.

EdgemasterX blinks a few times. "Hey, who's the weirdo?"

He shrugs. "Uh, a friend I guess? She helped me through the beginning and told me all about the game."

She nods fervently. "Ah. Gotcha. It's like that. Hm." Her jaw drops. "Wait, YOU'RE Satellyte?!"

You point all five of your fingers at them while covering one of your eyes menacingly. "That's right, tis I, Dani Satellyte, that have guided you both to this very point! No need to thank me, your faces of gratitude are enough--"

Nopants has already hopped on the motorcycle. "I take it back, she might be a zombie."

EdgemasterX revs up the bike.

You put your hands in a prayer and bow. "Sorry. Please don't kill me."

She stops revving the bike. "Haha, we're just joshin' ya!" She lets out one more rev. "Probably."

He shoves her aside. "So, do you always talk like this?"

You checkmark your chin once again. "Oh? Does my sheer aura instill awe within you--"

Vroom.

You bow again. "Sorry. I, uh, I'm just not very good at talking."

He sighs tiredly. "Well, Dani, nice to meet you. I'm Nobert, and this," you continue fighting Evi's resistance against your hand, "is Amy."

She overcomes your hand. "It's Evi, ya numbskull!" She pauses for a bit, then looks at him with surprise. "Nobert! That's you're flippin' name! Man, I thought I'd never figure it out."

You do a curtsey, like those weird posh anime victorian wannabes. "Pleased to make your acquaintace, fellow party members."

They both blink. Nobert speaks up. "Uh, party members?"

"Yes, party members." You put the back of your hand under your chin like a princess. "I mentioned it before when we first chatted, did I not?"

He looks at his laptop again. "Oh yeah. So you did. Welp, hop in I guess. We got a dragon to plunder."

Evi looks back at him with a forced smile again. "Oh, Sir Nobrain. You are most silly!"

He returns the forced smile. "Haha, whatever do you mean Kennedy?"

She laughs without moving her mouth. "Oh, it's nothin'! Haha, it's okay to be as much of an idiot as you are! I forgive you for not seein' we can't possibly fit three people on this ride."

He shakes her, still keeping his deadshot smile. "Haha, oh yes, silly me!" The shaking intensifies. "I'm SUCH an IDIOT after all!"

She starts to get dizzy. "Eugh, alright, uncle, uncle!" The shaking stops, and she reorients herself. "Still, how are we gonna do this?"

How shall the three of your proceed?
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Up
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qq
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Looks like we need to venture into the cave. Can Dani still combine items now? If so, Id try to combine the lighter with either the wand or a twig to use as a reliable light source. If not, see if Dani can cast a spell or light one of the twigs to see the way forward.
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>Dani: Light the way

You stand with utmost confidence. "We have no need of trifle vehicles. We were born as bipeds, after all! We must--"

HONK. You jump from the sudden noise.

Evi giggles. "I always wanted to try that."

You fake-cough. "We shall venture forth--"

HONK

Your grind your teeth a little. "Venture--"

HONK. Evi can't contain her laughter.

Nobert gets off the bike and exhales. "Can we please just go."

Evi's laughter freezes. "In...the darkness?"

You materialize the lighter...5 seconds later, much to your dismay. "Of course not, silly. Uh, have you any sticks of any sort that I can light? I know you have a pair in your inventory."

She hops off the motorcycle and materializes one of the [Broken Twig]s. "Sure, take one. Not like they'll be any useful later."

Upon closer inspection, it looks like a normal stick, but something feels off just holding it. You think nothing of it and while any sane person would simply light this with the lighter in your hand, you are anything but sane.

>Combine Twig and lighter.

[ Broken Twig + Hello Kitty Lighter = Something Ominous ]
[ Cost: 100 Icas ]
[ Alchemizing... ]
[ Combination complete. (0 Icas left) ]
[ Hello Darkness (Cast) acquired. Allocated to HDD. ]

The stick gets dyed ash-black, then immediately erupts into a giant burst of purple flames out of your hand, before it shrinks into a steady yet still sizable and still purple flame shaped like a cat.

[ New skill learned - Flaredark (Cast, 20%SP: Explode a medium area with a very potent flame that can't be extinguished by ordinary means) ]

The other two blink in surprise. Evi speaks up. "What in literal blazes was that?!"

You move the torch to your other hand while shaking the previous hand since that was extremely hot, but then you quickly regain your composure and laugh heartily. "Tremble before my wizardly powers! Darkness beware, I--"

Nobert taps your shoulder as he walks past you. Evi slaps you on the back as she follows behind him.

You sigh and follow behind as well.

Walking ensues for quite a while with absolutely nothing eventful happening.

Nobert breaks the ice. "So, uh, Dani, yeah? You seem to know a lot about the game. Didn't you also say you could just walk us through to the next stage?"

You look at him but find that you can't retain eye contact. "Oh, yes! About that, we're already where I was going to guide both of you. Wing Fragments will be of no trouble once we are through with this." You checkmark your chin. "Heh, this dragon up ahead will prove to be formidable, but not enough to faze--"

Evi slaps you on the back with a smile. "Thanks for teleportin' us out here! Real big help!"

You jump away with flushed cheeks. "T...too close!"
A black butterfly whizzes around your face, then lands on your head.

Evi giggles. "Aw, Peon says he likes you."

You raise an eyebrow. "You can...understand this tiny familiar?"

She nods. "Yeah, he says a lot of funny things but it gets annoying so I just ignore 'im for the most part. Like just now, he said somethin' 'bout you and 'im being kindred spirits of darkness or whatever but that's too many words. So I'll assume that he just likes you!"

The butterfly flies around aggressively for a moment then lands on you again.

You raise your head proudly. "Hm hm! An inhabitant of the darkness...this familiar fancies my interest. I will allow it to grace my head."

She pokes your cheek. "You talk funny too."

You jump back again. "Ah...please, not too close!"
---

Nobert presses down on the top of Evi's head while smiling eerily. "Haha, oh silly Annielee, are you by chance bothering our NEW FRIEND?"

Evi returns the hollow smile while death-gripping his wrist. "Ohoho, I would NEVER! I simply just," she twists his wrist, "LOVE all of my FRIENDS so MUCH!" she says, harshening the twist with every emphasis.

You stop walking. "Halt! Both of you, look up ahead!"

Your light shines upon some humanoid figures slouching and walking slowly away, towards the same way you're headed.

Evi's twisting becomes exaggerated. "OHOHO SIRE NOBRAIN I DO BELIEVE WE SHOULD, HOW THE COMMONFOLK SAY, RUNNETH THE HELL AWAY--"

Nobert covers her mouth. "Quiet you dumbass, we don't wanna be detected by whatever these things are."

The three of you slowly approach the figures. Their features become more and more distinguishable, revealing a severe lack of hair and...very formal clothing? They're wearing three-piece suits and office-wear. You're also able to now hear low moans coming from them, almost like...

"ZOMBIES!" screams Evi while nearly snapping Nobert's wrist.

Oddly enough, the supposed zombies don't seem to be affected by Evi's outburst as they continue to walk ahead.

You squint at them. "Are they perhaps not hostile?"

Evi lets go of his wrist and materializes her knives. "Are we perhaps ABOUT T'REALLY TEST THAT OUT?! They're flippin' zombies!"

They remain unfazed by Evi's shouting.

What shall you guys do?
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evi : strip her own clothes

Dani: Set the zombies on fire.

Nob and Evi: Attempt to bash/stab their brains in when there's minimal risk of being set on fire.
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>Evi: Strip

You put down your hood.

>Dani: Set the zombies on fire

You sigh and materialize your spwand. "Fine, I suppose we musn't risk any chances."
With a swish, you set a bunch of zombies ahead aflame.

SP [ 85% ]

They continue walking, not really paying any mind to their new coats of fire.

>Evi (And Nobert): Crack their heads open

"We ain't gonna get anywhere like that!" you say while twirling your knives, and run at one of them at full speed, then drive your knife right into the back of its skull.

Nobert sighs and materializes his spear to lance down one of the other zombies.

Despite having an entire knife in its head, your zombie continues to walk, dragging you along.

You pout and force the knife up with a scream, completely splitting its head open.

It falls down, still vivaciously trying to crawl forward, but ultimately stops moving.

You shake the blood off your knife. "What the hell are these things? They're beyond zombies!"

Nobert pierces away a zombie's head, but the same thing happens; it desperately tries to crawl ahead before really dying.

The two of you look at each other with slight disgust.

The darkness up ahead starts to show a faint, golden light.

Dani catches up to both of you, shining the torch behind you. "They have emerged behind us as well."

Surely enough, there's more zombies to be seen, mindlessly walking forward and not really caring that you guys are there.

What do you guys do now?
---

evi : masturbate to relax herself

Okay seriously, I dunno what whoever's troll alt that is expects to come of their troll inputs, but they could at least put some actual effort into it. Not even annoyed at the trolling specifically, just the lack of effort.

Dani and Nob: Continue destroying zombie brains. If that goes nowhere, see if they'll just let you follow them to wherever they're wandering.
---

Also search the downed corpses for loot. You never know!
---

Lmao ikr, this is E. to waluigi levels of lame and the last time I'll take low-effort troll posts

>Evi: [Redacted]

You're anything but turned on by this situation.

>Evi (and Dani): Continue the killing

You hold your knives firmly and run up to another zombie in front of you. "We just gotta mow down this mess in front of us 'fore we get taken from behind!" you say as you crack open the zombie's head.

Dani swishes her spwand, setting the back zombies ablaze.
Dani: SP [ 70% ]
They slowly wither away without any resistance, just like the zombies you've been bashing.

Nobert puts away his spear. "This is getting us nowhere. Didn't you notice? This isn't a simu-scuffle."

Evi blinks a few times.
Dani turns red, adjusting her invisible glasses. "Hahaha, you've done well! I too have r-realized this! Absolutely."

>Nobert: Loot the zombies.

You walk up to one of the corpses and think about plundering it. "Might as well check if they got anything on them."
A prompt appears: [ Loot ]
Focusing on it, a glowing cyan...poker chip pixelizes into view.

[ Soul Chip x2 acquired. ]

The other two get surprised by this and loot the other bodies too.
A bit more looting nets you a total of 40 chips.
Evi gets 30 before her inventory is filled. She holds a pair on her eyes. "Hey guys lookit, I'm the real Ghost Rider now!"

Dani also gets 30, holding one out like a yugioh card. "These undead scums might just be denizens of the shadow realm."

You look at the both of them with a deadpan face. "You. Are both nerds."

>Nob: Keep following them

The three of you proceed cautiously, except for Evi who looks ever so bored with her arms resting behind her head.
She whistles the theme. "This is the laaaamest zombie attack ever."

You yank Evi's hood over her eyes while grinning. "Weren't you scared like a lil bitch?"

She pouts while throwing her hood up. "I was tryna get the mood goin'! Man, this is like waitin' in line for a Halloween ride and findin' out it's just a merry-go-round but painted black. I want my money back!"

The two of you stop in your tracks. You look straight up. "Money's the last of our problems."

Evi keeps walking, looking behind to you. "What are you on about--" she bumps against something scaly and huge. Looking up, her jaw drops.

The large green dragon glares down the three of you, then flashes its large fangs with a grin. "Welcome to the Dragon Casino, brothas!" he says as he spreads his spiky arms out, drawing attention to his bright, goldly lit surroundings.
Stacks of Icas line the walls, with slot machines and card game tables lining up the place. They're all occupied by the zombies you saw, mindlessly throwing cards and dice down.

Dani crosses her arms and hunches over. "What is this...establishment?"

The dragon sniffs. "I just told you, the Dragon Casino." He taps her head with a claw as large as it. "Try to keep up." He stands tall, like a biped with wings and a long neck. While this can also describe a flamingo, this is in fact a dragon. "So. Let me guess. You shits want Wings, yeah?"

You nod, not really able to muster any words.

He grins and puts on a pair of aviators. "Bitchin. So here's the deal. If y'all fight me, ehhh y'all are prolly gonna die. So lemme level the playing field a little!" He pixelizes some cards, dice, chess pieces, and tennis balls, among other things. "You're free to PLAY for your Wings. Any game, you name it! Doesn't even have to use any of this junk here. But you gotta wager something good too."

What do you say?
---

How many Soul Chips for 3 sets of Wings? Let's establish that first and foremost.
---

>Nob: Ask how much for 3 sets of Wings

You materialize a Soul Chip in your hand. "How many of these will it take to get 3 sets of Wings?"

The Dragon adjusts his aviators. "Ooh, got some goods already huh? Let's see...it'll take you a hundred of those for each pair 'o Wings.

"Aw heck, we can only get one then," says Evi as she stumbles back next to you guys, then stands with shaky legs. "Anythin' else we can use?"
Peon flies into the gap within her hood and hides there. Not a single word from him.

He fiddles around with the cards. "Well, you could play around the Casino and bet 'em, maybe you'll win big! If you got Icas, I'll take 20000 of 'em for a pair. Or..." he flips the card, revealing a joker. "...you can wager your own soul. Y'all are pretty low-levelled, so it'll take all three of yous to get a pair."

You gulp.

Dani taps you on the back, having you look behind. She looks away the moment you make eye contact. "Ah...don't, um, forget. We have two Wing Fragments we can use. We simply require one more for a set."

The Dragon gestures at his ears. "Oho, y'all need Wing Fragments too? Exchange rates are 40 Chips, 8000 Icas, or...one of yous for a lil feather. Sounds fair, yeah?"

Evi shakes a little more, then books it back to the entrance. "Yain't getting my soul today!"
Her nose quickly meets the cold, hard impact of large golden doors shut tightly in front of her. She falls with stars orbiting her face. "Okay, y'might be getting my soul today."

The Dragon chuckles. "Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I'll throw in a freebie! You can get your freedom too! Ain't this such a fantastic deal?"

Your brow tenses up. "What happens if we lose our soul?"

He laughs. "Many great benefits, brotha! You get life insurance, death insurance, undeath insurance, medical insurance, maternal leave, and...uh, I'm probably forgetting something."

A zombie dragging a mop walks in front of the Dragon casually.

He snarls with fire. "ZOMBRADLEY!"

Zombradley looks up with a blank stare. "Ouh?"

He crosses his arms. "What. Do you think you are doing."

Zombradley scratches his head. "Euoh."

He digs his claw into Zombradley slightly. "That's right, you forgot the wet floor sign. ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US SUED ZOMBRADLEY?!"

Zombradley shrugs.

He sighs and drags Zombradley off to the side, then evaporates the floor puddle with a breath of fire. He then pounds his fist into his palm with a face of eureka. "Oh yeah, you turn into one of these undead dumbasses, that's what I was forgetting!"

>Zombradley: Enter the plot

You have tripped and are stuck in your mop bucket. Perhaps the plot is not ready for you yet.

>Nob: Resume the plot

You feel Evi clutching onto your leg.

"This is definitely the worst zombie apocalypse ever," she says with tears forming in her eyes. "I can't believe my dreampocalypse just got crushed by the greed of man enslaving souls away in eternal avarice."

You shake Evi off. "Okay, I think Dani's rubbing off of you too much."

What do you do/say to the Dragon?
---

Nob: Slot machine.

Evi: Poker.

Dani: Craps.

And because a dragon-run casino can only be super rigged against us, we'll only play just enough to win our freedom. If we still have enough chips after that, we'll buy as many Wing Fragments as we can and flee before the situation gets any worse.
---

Dani: inconspicuously user her air skill to get good rolls
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MelzezDoor posted...

Dani: inconspicuously user her air skill to get good rolls

Oh nice, didn't think of that. Okay scrap my previous post, Dani is the chip maker through shameless cheating while Evi and Nob are distractions.
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up, will update when i wake up hopefully
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>Dani: Play Craps and use Word of Power to cheat

You motion at the other two to huddle up, which you guys do. You get a little red from being in close proximity to them, but you suck it up. "Hand me your Soul Chips brethren," you whisper, "I shall use my great wizardly powers to amass us endless wealth! However, I require that you draw the Dragon's attention away from me."

Evi grins. "Distractin's our middle name!"

Nobert looks at her weirdly. "I don't think I wanna share any names with you."

[ 70 Soul Chips acquired. Allocated to HDD. ]

>Nobert (and Evi): Distract the Dragon

The two of you walk up to the Dragon. You cross your arms and look up him with exaggerated curiosity. "So, run by me one more time how many Soul Chips it'll take to get a pair of Wings?"

The Dragon adjusts his glasses. "Man, you better listen up cuz I don't like repeating myself. It'll take you 100 Soul Chips!"

You scratch your head. "Okay, soooooo how many of us would it take for Wings again?"

He sighs. "The three of you."

Evi catches on and materializes a Broken Twig. "Oh oh! How about this stuff? How many for some Wings?"

The Dragon looks at it pensively. "Hmm, I mean, it seems like a pretty shoddy-looking stick to me but it feels kinda special. Hmm..."

>Dani: Showtime

You walk up to the craps table and lock eyes with the dealer, who looks just like all these other zombies except he has a pretty slick moustache. Around you are a few other zombies watching but they don't seem to be playing.

He slides a pair of dice in the middle for you.

You take a deep breath since you only kind of know how to play this game through shitty flash games online. Just gotta roll a 7 or an 11 to win, you think to yourself.

You materialize 10 chips, which take a few seconds to show up, then you slap them on the pass line.
With the dice in hand, you quickly fire up all the neurons in your head to see the proper angular momentum and trajectory that the dice must travel in to land on the rolls you want.

You have a somewhat solid idea of what to do and throw it out with a smug face. "I think I'm feeling..." you inhale, then unleash the Word of Power, "LUCKY!!"
A great gust of wind blasts away everything on the table, sending the dice and the chips flying.

SP [ 60% ]

You stand dumbfounded, then nervously look at the Dragon. Fortunately, he is busy getting pissed at the other two.
You severely underestimated how strong that would be.
You try to play it cool and checkmark your chin. "Haha, that was quite the, uh, breeze! Quite the lively weather we're having, right gentlemen?"

The dealer scratches his head. "Uohgh?"

Zombradley walks by and returns the items to the table.

The dealer shrugs and slides the dice and the chips to you again.

Alright, you try this again. 10 chips on the pass line. You have the hypothetical physics down. You just have to somehow get your motor functions to comply.
You throw out the dice into the air and ready the Word of Power, but this time you focus on controlling it.
"I think today is a good day for a..." you soften your voice, "...seven."

Another blast of wind shoots out of your mouth, but only about half as intense as the last one. The dice are blown forward towards the edge of the table, then hits the rim to bounce back to the middle. The pair totals to a 3--a losing roll.

SP [ 50% ]

"Guh...rrrahps," the dealer mutters while grabbing the chips off the table.

Shit. This is going well.
Will you keep trying? Or will you try something else?
---

Keep trying!
---

>Dani: Keep trying

Third time's a charm. You materialize 10 more chips after a bit of waiting and slap them on the pass line.

The dealer slides you the dice.

You firmly grasp them in your hand. Were your calculations incorrect before? Is going for the best possible outcome perhaps too infeasible? Should you just find a method instead with an optimal amount of estimated value?
Your hand shakes. You can't do this. You can't do this. It's impossible--

The Dragon roars with flames bellowing out of his mouth. "Hoooooly shit. LOOK. Even if you DO carve that twig into a fuckin' rad vampire-hunting stake, that won't make it more valuable!"

Evi twirls the stick around. "Okay but what if weee carved it into a, uh, a basketball!"

The Dragon massages his temples. "That thing's not even shaped like a ball. At all."

Nobert chimes in. "How about a bunch of tiny wooden basketballs."
Evi's eyes light up. "Vampire-hunting wooden basketballs!"

The Dragon sighs.

You take a deep breath. The other two are trying their best. You can't afford to let their efforts go to waste.
You close your eyes to focus. The shaking in your hand lessens as you clear your mind. This is just a game, like any other. As an internet-reknown speedrunner, you just have to know how to break it.
Your eyes open as you wear nothing but intense concentration on your face. You inhale and hold your breath, readying Word of Power. Looking at the exact spot where the dice's apex will be, you throw them out.
The moment it reaches the very spot your have your sights on, time stops.

A prompts appears: [ Hack ]

Without a second thought, you focus on the prompt to activate it.
Upon doing so, everything turns black, leaving only you and the dice in sight.
0's and 1's surround you like a tornado, then a bunch of HUD panels appear before you showing line after line of letters and numbers, along with another panel that shows a timer counting down from 30 seconds.

You're taken aback by all this happening at once, but you can't afford to lose your concentration now. You inspect the panel with lines of code closely. You grin with the realization that it's just a bunch of hexidecimal, and crack your knuckles.

25 seconds left. All the hexidecimal looks meaningless to you; you don't have a point of reference to experiment with. At this rate, you won't be able to narrow down the address you need.

You stare blankly in front as you think about all your options.

15 seconds left. You come to a realization. The dice in front of you is spinning slowly in place. In other words, it's changing its value constantly. You stare holes through it as you note what numbers you can see, then compare it to the code. You can feel sweat running down the side of your face and your breathing getting more and more labored as you flip your vision between the dice and the code at breakneck speeds.

7 seconds left. You found the address you need and jab your finger on the panel immediately, forcing out a keyboard panel. You then erase it and replace it with 03 and 04--the 7 roll that you need.
You nearly let out a sigh of relief that you got it, but you see that the numbers are still changing. Shit.

3 seconds left. You managed to find the read-only flag.
2 seconds. You select it and start changing the values.
1 second. The flag's on and you get the dice back to what you wanted.

"Tremble before..." you wind up your finger like you're about to unleash a special attack, "my wizardry!"
You scream as you spear your finger right through the enter key.

The dice stop spinning.

0 seconds left. The panels disappear along with the tornado of 0's and 1's. Your surroundings then return to normal, and the dice fall into place.
---

3 and 4.

"Ouuhugh," says the dealer. He then slides you 10 chips.

Fuck. Yes. Your face breaks into joy as you jump in victory.

A new meter appears on your HUD just under your HP and SP: [ Focus: 0% ]
[ New skill unlocked: Overwrite (Any, useable at 30% Focus, Hack any small object within 30 seconds) ]

You're back to 100 chips. However, you're not sure if that will work again. Well, you're slightly sure. You set the value to never change after all.
Still, you bet 10 chips again just to play it safe. The dice are in your hands again.
Throwing them up, you watch as they slowly land...

>Nobert (and Evi): Continue distracting

You hold Evi in front of you. "Okay, what about...what if, uh, what if this one was a vampire! How many of her would it take?"

The Dragon blinks as eyebags start to form. "Shit dude, I dunno. Do vampires even have souls?"

Evi breaks away from you. "No no, I think you're thinkin' of a different guy. Vampires take blood!"

He snarls. "I'll be taking blood real soon if you don't stop with this bullshit."

"What about these?!" Dani yells as she returns with her arms spread out. After a few seconds, an entire pile of Soul Chips rain down from a pixel cloud.

The Dragon slowly takes off his aviators. "What. The. Hell."

Your jaw drops, as does Evi's.
She runs up to the pile and dives in it. "Holy smokes Dani, you did amazin'!"

Dani gets a little red. "T...t'was nothing at all! All falls before me, even the gods of luck!"

You walk up to the pile and sift them through your hands. "Damn, how much did you get?"

She checkmarks her chin. "Oh, nothing too grandiose. I merely won 1,000 before they forced me to leave."

The Dragon's jaw drops. "A fucking thousand?! Shit!"

Dani puts her hands to her hips. "Bestow upon us your Wings at once!"

He puts his aviators back on and snarls. "Well, you certainly got a lot of goods, sis, but remember, this is just for betting! You still have to play against me!--"

Evi taps on his foot casually. "So, uh, heya. What could we get with 700 of these?"

He rubs his chin pensively. "Hmmm, shit dude, I dunno. You name it. 700 will probably cover it. Probably." He snarls again. "So! Name your game and your prize!"

What do you say?
---

Tag
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Dani: Craps again. If she can roll 3 7s in a row, then we get 3 sets of Wings and our freedom. If not, then the dragon gets our souls. All or nothing baby!
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up
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>Dani: Craps, Sevens, Wings, Freedom, Souls

You stand tall in front of Nobert before he could say anything, with your hands on your hips. "I shall best you myself in a game of craps!"

The Dragon snarls. "You're pretty confident, aintcha?"

You smile smugly. "Incredibly confident! In fact, I shall guarantee this: I will roll three 7's in a row. When you see that, hand over three pairs of Wings, as well as our freedom! If that doesn't happen, you can have our souls. Not that I see that happening!--"

Nobert and Evi pull you back. Evi in particular gets in your face. "Are. Ya. Crazy?! You won a thousand of these chips and you're not even gonna use them?! You're just gonna throw away our souls off the bat?!"

Nobert nods. "Yeah, agreed. This is a pretty dumb idea even if you got wizard bullshit on your side."

You turn very red. "D...do you not trust me?"

Evi flicks you in the forehead. "Course we do!"

Nobert raises his hand. "I don't."

She glares at him. "He's dumb too. Look, it's just really flippin' stupid to be riskin' this much all willy-nilly. Plus, it'd be such a waste not t'use all these chips!"

The Dragon clears his throat. "Ahem. So uh, bros, are we playing craps or what?"

What do (any of) you say?
---

For lack of imagination on my part and a desire to get this moving again...any cool weapons that we can get for our chips? Weapons're always nice.
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>Dani: Ask about weapons

You stand with confidence once more. "Dragon! I wish to also bet my Soul Chips for tools of battle."

He scratches his head. "Uhhh, you mean, like, a weapon, right?"

You nod.

He puts a hand on his chin. "Hmm, alright. Well, you could play for a decent weapon for all three of you, or a super rad weapon for just one of you."

What shall you choose? (You can also be specific about the kind of weapon[s] you want)
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Evi jumps in to request a Sword of Baal like the one that enthralled her in the town weapons shop because it was so... beautiful...
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Safety Bump
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safety safety bump
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