Current Events > Experimental CYOA: You might be trapped in a simulation

(+) Yeah! (+)

>Have Evi create a diversion and attempt to steal a badass weapon

You look around the shop and see a crate full of weapons just against the counter.

You grab Evi and huddle with her in a corner, facing away from the shopkeeper. "Alright Elsie, listen up," you say softly. "I got an idea."

She narrows her eyes. "Is it a good idea?"

You look over your shoulder to glance at the shopkeeper, who smiles at you while still polishing a sword, then you look back to Evi. "No. Anyway, I need you to distract this lady while I go nab a weapon."

She pinches the bridge of her nose. "We're actually doin' this, huh?" She turns around. "Alright, fine. Watch and learn how a master distracter does it," she says with a smug grin, then walks over to the shopkeeper.

However, the moment she stands in front of her, she tenses up. "Uhhhhhhhhh...h-hi."

The shopkeeper tilts her head along with her usual business smile. "Hi darling adventurer! What can I get for you today?"

She twiddles her fingers. "So I wo..was..w-wondering...uh, I, wh--hi,' she stammers.

The shopkeeper raises an eyebrow, but keeps up her smile. "Yes, hello. Did you need something, darling?"

You shift around with ninja-like footsteps, except this ninja failed out of training. You glance at Evi and the shopkeeper and see that they seem to be holding an engaging conversation.

Evi covers her cheeks with the sides of her hood. "You're...really p-pretty."

The shopkeeper blinks a few times. "Oh, thank you darling! Flattery won't get you discounts, though!"

You continue to creep under the counter, where you're finally next to the weapon crate. However, you can feel that the shopkeeper still has part of her attention on you.

Evi lets out an exhale as she looks side to side. "Can I..." her cheeks redden, "t...touch your..."

The shopkeeper's smile starts to get strained as her cheeks redden as well. "Darling, I dont--"

Evi clenches her fist as her face suddenly gets serious. "Your blade! The best one you have! Can I t-touch it?!"

The shopkeeper blinks in confusion. "Uhhh...oh! My blade you say!" She puts a hand behind her neck. "Haha! Right, yes, of course, that's what you meant to say! Blade. Yes."

An awkward silence ensues between them as they stare at each other blankly.

Your hand is inches away from taking something, but the silence is gonna be deadly to you. Somehow, it seems that Evi has distraught the shopkeeper enough for you to even try this. You wait until they start talking again so that you can blend in with the noise.

The shopkeeper looks away. "Right! The blade! You wanted to see the finest one, yes?" She turns away from the counter to rummage through a chest.

This is your chance. You tap one of the weapons and think about taking it.

It pixelizes and gathers into you.

[ Training Spear (Cast/Smash/Edge) acquired! ]

With that, you quickly scuttle away back into the corner.

The shopkeeper returns to the counter and holds the Cursed Sword of Ba'al in front of Evi, but keeping her hand firmly on the hilt. "I'll hold it in case you try any funny business, but here you go," she says with a jagged smile on her red face. "Our finest blade!"

Evi's eyes start twinkling as she runs her fingers through the edge of the sword, brushing against the shopkeeper's fingertips in the process.

The shopkeeper's face gets even more red, but Evi doesn't seem to be fazed.

In fact, she's a little too focused on the blade. "It's...beautiful."
---

The shopkeeper's jagged smile get's even more strained. "Oh... why t-thank you, Darling."

Evi, with an obessive and degenerate face, caresses the sword even more, to the point that she seems to have cut her finger slightly. She then licks the blood off her fingertip. "This blade is absolutely beautiful!"

The shopkeeper turns her even redder face away. "Th...the blade? Oh, the blade! Yes, the blade. Beautiful. The blade, that is. Right. Haha!"

You quickly grab Evi's hood and yank her away from the counter. "Well, this was a lovely time, yeah! Anyways we were just here to window shop, you have a great day now!" you say with your absolute quick-mouthed bullshitting voice. You then drag Evi towards the door.

Evi keeps her eyes desperately focused on the sword. "W-wait! My love!"

"L-love?!" the shopkeeper exclaims in disbelief.

"You were the finest edge I've ever felt!" shouts Evi as she continues to be dragged away.

Just as the two of you head out the door, the shopkeeper blinks a few times, then snaps out of her trance. "Ah, wait! Darling! You shouldn't have cut yourself on that sword! It's--"

The door closes, leaving the shop empty save for her. "--too late. I hope she'll be alright..."

>Check out the Item Shop

You open the door of the Item Shop and enter, with Evi not too far behind.

This shopkeeper is...a giant bear? Strange, but as always, it's best for you to roll with it. He greets you with the voice of an average person. "Hail, travelers! Care to browse our wares?"

[ ITEM SHOP:
HP Potion - 40 Icas
SP Potion - 100 Icas
Photo of Shirtless Sylvester Stalone (1 Left in Stock) - 150 Icas
Wing Fragment (1 Left in Stock) - 99,999 Icas ]

You and Evi pause at the last item on this menu.

"Ah, I see that you two covet the Wing Fragment, yes?" says the bear. "It is priced heavily because of its demand. However, I am willing to give it away."

Your eyes widen. "Give it away? Just like that? You bullshitting me?"

The bear laughs. "Oh, of course I am not one to part with it freely. I have a quest for you brave adventurers if you are interested in the Wing Fragment!"

What do you say? Also, will you buy anything?
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Inquire about this quest, and buy an HP Potion
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Also, somewhere down the line we should take our training spear for a spin
---

Be overcome with a desire to make obnoxious bear puns.
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>Inquire about this quest, and buy an HP Potion (ft. bear puns)

You scratch your chin. "Alright, let's hear about it."

The bear leans over the counter. "My wife--blessed is she--lives in the woods near this town. I would like you to tell her to make vegetable stew for dinner."

The two of you pause for a moment.

You blink a few times, then speak up. "Is...that it? For something worth a shit-ton of Icas, you just want us to tell your wife something?"

He smiles. "Her cooking is priceless to me. And I do grow hungry as I have had to tend to the shop all week without rest. I hope you find my request reasonable."

You and Evi look at each other, then you look back at the shopkeep bear. "Well, it sounds bearable. We are beary glad to bear the bearden of your request--"

Evi elbows your side. "I can't bear to hear more. Shut it."

You rub your side. "Okay, jeez. Someone hates fun."

[ QUEST ACCEPTED: Bear In Mind Vegetable Stew
REWARD: Wing Fragment x1 ]

The bear laughs. "Quite the lively bunch we are! Oh, did you wish to purchase anything?"

You look back at the menu on your HUD. "Yeah, I guess we'll take an HP potion."

[ HP potion acquired. ]
[ /!\ Memory Full ]
[ Your Icas: 156 (-40) ]
[ Evi's Icas: 1 ]

The two of you leave the shop and stand back in the center of town. You look over to Evi, who's sitting on a bench with a somewhat longing face. "What are you moping about?

She sighs. "I miss that sword." She stares at the clotted cut on her fingertip. "It felt so good."

You raise an eyebrow in slight disdain. "Erin, what the fuck. Is wrong with you."

She glares at you. "There's absolutely nothing wrong for having an intense, passionate love for all things sharp! The precise metalwork...the subtle little details put into every inch of a sword's hilt, the guard--the blade! It's all--"

You shush her with your finger. "Alright, I get it. You're a degenerate, too."

She stomps her foot. "I am not--"

You shush her again. "Overrulled. C'mon, let's get ready to leave."

---
Nobert Nopants
Lv. 2 Disco Psychic
HP: [ 90% ] / SP: [ 100% ]
Funk Level: [ 1% ]
Debuffs: N/A

Mainhand: Pipe (Smash)
Offhand: Dustpan
Gear: Officewear with Disco Pants
Wings: Nothing

Your Icas: 156
Inventory (6/6 Slots): Pipe[E], Dustpan[E], Disco Pants[E], Lovely Knife, Training Spear, HP Potion x1
((There was a bit of inconsistency because i forgot disco pants took inventory space, so have a free slot))

---

Evi EdgemasterX
Lv. 3 Edge User
HP [ 100%] / SP [ 100% ]
Debuffs: N/A(?)

Mainhand: Shitty Dagger
Offhand: Smaller Shitty Dagger
Gear: Shitty Hooded Garments
Wings: Shitty Nothingness

Evi's Icas: 1
Inventory (150MB / 250MB): Shitty Dagger{50MB}[E], Smaller Shitty Dagger{40MB}[E], Shitty Hooded Garments{40MB}[E], Broken Twig x2{20MB}

---

Any preperations you would like to do? ie moving items around, equipping anything, last minute things you wish to do in town
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Give the lovely dagger to Evi to equip. Swap the training spear for the pipe for our equips.
---

Equip the training spear in place of the pipe for our weapon. Give the lovely knife to Evi to equip as her primary weapon and switch the shitty dagger to her offhand weapon. Sell the pipe and smaller shitty dagger to free up some inventory space.
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0AbsoluteZero0 posted...

Equip the training spear in place of the pipe for our weapon. Give the lovely knife to Evi to equip as her primary weapon and switch the shitty dagger to her offhand weapon. Sell the pipe and smaller shitty dagger to free up some inventory space.

This, but be really condescending about how magnanimous you are to be giving her an equipment upgrade.
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Kircheis posted...

This, but be really condescending about how magnanimous you are to be giving her an equipment upgrade.

Lmao, this is good
---

Kircheis posted...

0AbsoluteZero0 posted...

Equip the training spear in place of the pipe for our weapon. Give the lovely knife to Evi to equip as her primary weapon and switch the shitty dagger to her offhand weapon. Sell the pipe and smaller shitty dagger to free up some inventory space.

This, but be really condescending about how magnanimous you are to be giving her an equipment upgrade.

nice
---

After making the equipment changes and selling the extra items, we should seek out a couple of low-level enemies in the woods to become acquainted with the new weapons as teepan suggested
---

>Equip the Spear

[ Spear equipped to MAINHAND ]

You materialize it in your hand and point it towards the sun. Except there is no sun, so you make do by pointing it at the Green Vortex. "Check out this shit, Emi. Snagged 'er myself! Isn't it way cooler than a pipe?"

Evi rests her bored head on her hand. "Hm? Oh. Sure. I don't even have to feel it to tell ya it's dull, but whatever makes you happy."

You point the spear at her, but then pull it back. "Asshole. Normally I'd overrule you in the head for that, but..."

>Generously give Evi the Lovely Knife

You stand annoyingly tall with an equally annoying shit-eating grin. "Instead, I shall refuse to lower myself to your level and grace you with the magnificent generosity that comes with adventuring with me." With that, you twirl your fingers dramatically as the Lovely Knife materializes between them, then you hold it near Evi. "You should feel grateful to even cross my thoughts, Andy! My schedule is usually jam-packed from thinking about myself, you see. But here you are! Receiving my most charitable aid to an impovershed girl such as yourself!--"

She bites your hand, then catches the knife that forcibly falls off. "Can ya slip in 'stop being a blitherin shmuck' in your schedule?! Jeez." She inspects the knife more closely. "Hmm, this here's the innkeeper's knife, ain't it?" As she says that, a tear rolls down her cheek.

You interrupt your recovery hand-fanning. "Whoa, hey, why are you crying?"

She blinks in surprise, then stares at the knife more. "Oh. I guess this thing's had a rough history."

You furrow your brows in further confusion.

She runs her finger against the sharp edge of the blade, but no blood is drawn. "I've always had a penchant for blades n' smithin', y'see. When I hold one, I sometimes feel the emotions poured into 'em from other wielders." She wipes the single tear off her face. "That innkeeper was cheated on. And all 'er loneliness is in this knife."

A strange ability, but you roll with it. "Linnie, you are definitely a weird one. Then again, I just saw a giant talking bear that's married, so I'll just say, uh...good for you! Don't quit your day job."

She clicks her tongue. "Whatever, I never expected ya to care." She musters a slight smile. "Still, a gift's a gift, so...thanks."

>Evi: Equip Lovely Knife in mainhand and Shitty Dagger in offhand

[ Evi: Lovely Knife equipped to MAINHAND ]
[ Evi: Shitty Dagger equipped to OFFHAND ]

She holds the Lovely Knife in her left hand, then swings it around a few times. "Not the sharpest, but it's real light. Definitely better than what I had 'fore."

"That's good to hear," you say while examining your spear as well. "Oh, you're not too attached to your old dagger, are you?"

>Sell the pipe and smaller shitty dagger to free up some inventory space.

You're both back in the Equipment Shop.

The shopkeeper lady greets you with her usual business smile, but gets a little bit red upon seeing Evi. "Oh, welcome back! Need anything today?"

You hand her the Pipe and Smaller Shitty Dagger. "More things for you to scam people with."

She takes them and laughs. "Can't help that I rake in suckers all the time. Here you go."

[ 30 Icas get! ]
[ Your Icas: 186 ]
[ Your Inventory (4/6) ]

The lady looks at Evi with concern. "Oh, darling, do you feel strange at all?"

Evi tilts her head. "No? I mean, I feel stressed as heck tryin' to deal with this blockhead!"
---

You put your hand on your chest dramatically. "First of all, I take offense to that--"

She elbows you. "Overruled. Hey, I could get used to sayin' that."

The lady exhales in relief. "Seems like you're okay. I was worried...that sword I showed you was supposedly cursed, after all."

She walks towards the door energetically. "I'll be fine, lady! Curses ain't gonna faze me!" she says as she runs out the door.

You shrug and follow behind her waving off the shopkeeper as you close the door behind you.

The two of you stand near the town's exit. You look over to Evi. "Ready to rock and roll?"

She nods with a vivacious grin. "'Course I am! We got Wings to get!"

With that, you both set off towards the woods--just a few minutes of walking from the town.

You arrive in the dense green that is the woods. You're surrounded by trees. And grass. Maybe even some pebbles on the side. Yeah. Fantastic narration going on here, folks.

Looking over to your side, you see Evi with a very fired-up face. "Y'know, this is usually where adventurer's would be cautious and shit."

She spreads out her arms. "We're flipping adventurin'! Can ya believe it?!" She points over to a pair of...basketball-sized apples waddling around? "Check those things out! The HUD says those're Appals 'r somethin'! C'mon, let's go adventure the heck outta 'em!" With that, she runs head-on into them as she materializes her knives.

"Oh boy," you say while running behind her and getting your spear out.

[ SIMU-SCUFFLE: APPALS x2 ]

The Appals waddle before you somewhat menacingly.

What do you and Evi do?
---

Oh also, what do you guys think of this experimental CYOA's system so far? And thoughts about the CYOA in general so far?
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nikko004 posted...

Oh also, what do you guys think of this experimental CYOA's system so far?

I think it's been absolutely brilliant. I remember some additional prompts being added to your stories in the past, and I like how this one cuts out the middleman. We have so much more freedom for amusing responses and general protagonist jerkassery now. :>
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nikko004 posted...

Oh also, what do you guys think of this experimental CYOA's system so far? And thoughts about the CYOA in general so far?

Pretty great; Im interested in seeing where this goes just like your other CYOAs. And I think the open ended response system is fun and leaves a lot of room for creativity on our part compared to a typical CYOA. Its especially good since no one has offered really bad inputs just to troll yet, surprisingly.
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Loving the system, loving the story <3

Story Action: attempt to attack but get into a massive argument over who targets which Appal
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>Attempt to attack but get into a massive argument over who targets which Appal

You brandish your spear and aim for the Appal on your left. "Alright Evi, here's the plan: I'll take the one on the left and you take the one on the right. Ready?"

She stomps her foot. "Hey wait a flippin' minute, who said you get to run the show 'round 'ere?! I'm left-handed, so the left one oughta be mine!"

You scratch your head. "Does it really matter?! Just attack one of them!"

"Hey, it matters!" she shouts while crossing her arms. "We need a clear battle plan if we want this adventure t'go smoothly!"

You facepalm. "Okay, fine! You take the left one, and I'll take the right one. Happy?"

She pouts. "Well I don't wanna go after the left one just cuz you told me to!"

The tip of your spear looks delicious to put in your mouth right about now. You let out a very tired sigh. "Holy shit. Alright. Look. Just...just go attack one of them and I'll go after the other one."

"And let me get hurt first?!" She shakes her head. "No way! You go first!"

In the middle of your bickering, one of the Appals have already started charging towards you two. It leaps forward and collides into your face, knocking you down.

Evi assumes a battle stance again and fiercely stares down the Appal on top of your face. "Don't move! I'll get this thing off ya in no time!" With that, she darts forward and winds up a downward kick.

The Appal hops off your head midway through her kick, leaving her boot free to smash your face.

She stomps her foot, furthering the pain. "What are ya doin' gettin' in the way?!"

You let out a defeated sigh, too tired to even form a response to this.

Your HP: [ 70% ]

Using your spear like a cane, you slowly get yourself up. However, you see the other Appal charging straight at you.

What do you and/or Evi do?
---

Evi: attacks Appal that dodged with combination of downward kick + impressive knifeplay.

Nob: repeatedly bash other Appal with dull spear
---

Evi + Nobert: ATTACK (Hopefully with success and finesse)

Evi's back is against yours as she faces down the Appal that attacked you. "Don't get in my way, y'hear?!"

"I was never in the way!" you say angrily as you ready your spear. "Look, just focus on your Appal, alright?!" With that, you accidentally bunt her with the back of your spear as you wind it up for an attack.

She staggers forward. "Hey! Watch where you're--"

Her Appal interrupts her with a surprise tackle, knocking her down.

She kicks it off of her, but its trajectory is unwittingly aimed at you.

You ready your attack against your incoming Appal, only to get staggered from behind from Evi's stray Appal. "Goddamnit, can you be more careful--"

You get trampled down by your Appal. Evi's Appal also joins in and jumps over your knocked down body.

Your HP: [ 60% ]
Evi's HP: [ 90% ]

You curl your body in fetal position to mitigate the Appals' onslaught. "Uh...Angie? A little help here?"

She gets up and dusts herself off. "Jeez, you're hopeless." She darts towards the Appals with her knives in hand, then jams her blades into one of them.

It stops moving for a moment, then disintegrates into pixels that flow into you and Evi.

She glares at the last Appal and swings her knife at it, only for the Appal to hop backwards. She lunges forward for another swing, stepping on your body in the process.

"Ow. Can we, uh, stop with the stepping please," you say while curling your body inward even more.

"D'ya want this t'be done 'r not?!" She shouts as she springs off of your body to leap at the Appal.

The Appal hops back again, dodging her attack. However, it loses stability and starts rolling backwards.

You feel that it's safe and start getting up again, holding your spear with its tip pointed upwards as you use it as a cane.

The rolling Appal bounces off a rock, launching itself over and past Evi.

You finally get up. "Alright you son of a bitch, I'm--"

The ballistic Appal gets skewered on your spear. It disintegrates into pixels, just like its former companion.

---
[ SIMU-SCUFFLE: Appal x2, WIN! ]

Nobert Nopants:
[ Affinity up! Lv 2 Disco Psychic -> Lv 3 Disco Dumbass ]
[ Level up bonus: New skill - Funk Flash (Description: 10%SP, Consumes remaining Funk Meter to unleash a strong attack. Power depends on Funk consumed)
[ 20 Icas get! ]

Evi EdgemasterX:
[ Affinity changed! Lv 3 Edge user -> Lv 3 Edge Monkey ]
[ New skill - Throwing Knife (Description: 10%SP, Shoots out a shockwave in the shape of used weapon. Effect changes based on weapon attunement]
[ 20 Icas get! ]
---

The two of you collapse on your butts, panting.

You look up at the Green Vortex. "Cammy, that was fucking terrible. That was supposed to be the easiest battle ever. How do you fuck it up that bad?!"

She catches her breathe for a while more, then springs back up. "Hey! I was doing great, okay? You kept getting in the way!"

You get yourself on your feet as well. "I wasn't--look, y'know what. We won. We'll leave it at that and keep adventuring forward."

She clicks her tongue. "Fine. But only 'cause I want to keep adventuring, not 'cause you told me to."

The two of you traverse the forest for what seems like hours. No other monsters appeared at all. Your surroundings start to darken.

You look up and see the Green Vortex start to fade away. "Whoa, is that supposed to happen?"

She sits on a nearby rock. "That's just how the night is. It'll prolly get more dangerous like this. Think we should camp for the night?"

What do you do/say?
---

Set up camp for the night.
---

Discuss green vortex and lack of sun
---

...

>Set up camp for the night.

The two of you pile up some rocks and wood in the middle of a somewhat open space.

You take a twig and rock in hand. "Uh...so, do you know how to start a campfire?"

Evi throws one last batch of wood into the unlit pile, then narrows her eyes at it. "I don't think we have to know."

You're not sure what she means. You crouch next to the unlit pile and take a closer look at it; the prompt [ Light Campfire ] appears.

Focusing in on it causes a flare to erupt from the pile, where it then sizzles into a small, warm fire.

An unusual ability, but you roll with it.

Evi stretches her arms out, then materializes her knives. "I'll stand guard for now. Go ahead 'n rest."

"You sure?" you say while hovering your hands near the fire. "Don't you feel sleepy?"

She walks over to a rock and sits on it, still firmly gripping her knives. "D'you?"

Now that you think about it, even after all that's happened, you don't really feel that tired or sleepy. "Huh. Weird."

She looks up at the empty sky. "Sleepin's only good for getting your HP back up. It seems like a cool thing but..." she lets her hood down, letting her hair flow out, "...it kinda makes me feel less human, y'know?"

>Discuss green vortex and lack of sun

You take a look at the sky as well--devoid of any stars, with only some clouds and a very faint, faded Green Vortex. "I think we're far from the average human life now. I don't even see the sun."

She twirls around her knife. "The big green thing up there's the closest thing we got to a sun. Not like it matters to me. S'long as we got light in the day, I'm happy."

You lay on the grass with your arms on your head. "Got any idea where it leads to? What the 'next stage' might be?"

She starts drawing on the dirt with the tip of her boot. "No clue. I've been tryin' for a week now t'get to it, but this game's real hard to play solo." She finishes up her drawing, depicting a simple knife.

You raise an eyebrow. "A week? Didn't this all start just a day ago?"

"Guess y'started late. Well, we both did." She looks back at the sky. "Apparently there are a few Players that already made it up there."

You smirk. "And you're still level 3? If a bunch of Players are already that far ahead, maybe you just suck?--" a tiny pebble hits you in the head.

Evi bounces another pebble in her hand. "I had a rough start, okay?"

You sit back up, take the pebble she threw at you, and throw it back. "Is that what the hoodlums at the inn were about?"

The pebble hits her forehead. "Hey!" She stomps her foot and throws another pebble at you. "And yeah, I needed money 'n gear so I went pickpocketin'."

You weave your head to dodge the pebble by an inch, then throw it back at her with a smug grin. "Doesn't look like it went well."

She swats your pebble aside and tosses another one at you. "Y'think?!"

Pebbles fly back and forth for a while, until you're both lying on the ground panting.

You arm becomes too tired to throw any more.

Evi blindly tosses another one at you, hitting your leg. "Ha...I win." With that, she rolls to her side and closes her eyes.

You smirk softly. "Heh. Some nightwatch you are." You follow suit and close your eyes as well, disregarding any sense of danger.

[ HP and SP restored! ]
---

Your eyes open up to the bright light of the Green Vortex once again. Getting up, you dust yourself off and hush out the campfire.

In the distance, you see a large pack of Appals running from something to your distant left. You take note of it.

You walk over to Evi--still fast asleep--and lightly kick her awake. "Eggs and wakey, Kelly. We still got a bear to find."

She groans and rolls over to her other side. "Mmmgh...5 more minutes."

Well, she's a stubborn one. How shall you wake her up? And how shall you proceed through the woods from here?
---

Gently smack Evi until she gets up, then go investigate the source of the Appal disturbance before proceeding deeper into the woods.
---

>Gently smack Evi until she gets up

You crouch over to her drooling face and gently smack her in the cheek a few times. "C'mon Haley, we're burning daylight here!"

She shifts around a bit more. "Mmmm, fiiiine, gimme a bit." She slowly starts to get up, but it's still a bit too slow for you.

You point in the distance. "Holy shit we're in danger! Monsters!"

"Wha?!" She quickly sits up and looks to where you were pointing. "What's the big idea? I don't see anything--" her cheek runs into your finger.

You give her an annoying grin. "Oldest fucking trick in the book."

>Investigate the source of the Appal disturbance before proceeding deeper into the woods.

[ SIMU-VESTIGATION BEGIN! ]

Suddenly, you see a cloud of dirt in the distance, with a huge shadowy figure in front of it. It approaches you rapidly.

[ SIMU-VESTIGATION COMPLETE!
Results: Inconclusive ]

Your eyes pop out figuratively. "Holy shit! We're in danger!"

Evi pouts. "Yeah, sure we are. I ain't fallin' for that again--"

You grab her face and point it to the incoming menace. As it gets closer, you both feel tremors on the ground.

The two of you let out a scream as you both stand up abruptly.

Evi puts her hood back on and materializes her knives. "What a-are we gonna do?!"

What are you two gonna do?
---

Stand your ground and fight! >:U

(Until it becomes clear that you're actually fucked and run away, RUN AWAY!)
---

((but try to bribe the thing with Icas after you fail and before you turn tail))
---

>Stand your ground and fight! >:U

You stand firmly with your spear and dustpan materialized. "I don't know what the hell this thing is, but we're gonna fight it!"

Evi twirls her knives around and assumes a battle stance next to you. "Oh, you're flippin' crazy y'know that?!"

The menace clears through the trees and finally stands before you, still obscured by the cloud of dust. It clears out, revealing itself to be a colossal bear, nearly twice your size.
What makes you even more afraid of it is that it is wearing aviators. It snarls at you for some reason and bares its razor-sharp teeth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FU5c7-5xG-o" data-time="

[ SIMU-KERFUFFLE: Boss Bear ]

Evi darts to it at lightning speed. "Don't get in my way this time!" She leaps at with with her arms crossed to do a double slash.

The bear gives zero-percent of a fuck and smacks Evi away.

You gulp and point your spear at it. You then start screaming as you charge towards it.

The bear also bitch-slaps you away in the same direction Evi flew.

Evi tries to get up, but is met with your stray body. "Hey! I told ya t'get outta my way!" she says with her voice muffled by your back.

You roll over to the side to get off of her, then slowly stand back up. "I think that's the last of our problems, Daisy! We gotta--"

She zooms away to the bear before you could finish. "D'ya want this t'be done 'r not?!" she shouts as she firmly grips her knives. They start glowing along with Evi's eyes. "Throwin' Knives!" she screams while leaping up and shooting out shockwaves from her blades.
They nick the bear's arms. It gets even angrier and swings its huge claws toward's Evi's airborne body, swatting her away.

Evi plops to the ground like a mannequin. She wipes the sweat off of her face, only to also see the sight of blood on her hand. "This ain't good..."

Evi: HP [ 60% ] || SP [ 90% ]

The bear looks back at you and snarls, then it starts readying itself to charge at you like a bull.

Your spear starts trembling in your hands. "Now that. That looks bad." You see it approach you rapidly. You'd move out of the way but you're just a little too scared to.

Suddenly, a prompt appears: [ -> ]
You desparately focus in on it, jerking your body to the right and dodging the bear's attack.

FUNK LEVEL: [ 10% ]

Evi gets up and readies up her knives once more. "This guy's too tough! Still think we should fight it?!"

>Bribe it with Icas

You look back at her. "Don't worry, I think I got an idea!" You approach the bear--your legs still shaking a little but your stupidity piloting you through all of this. "Hey th-there Mr. bear," you say, tapping his leg.

He raises a brow and snarls at you, but doesn't seem to do much else.

You smile at it awkwardly. "So, I got a proposition for you. What say you leave us alone for a couple of Icas?" you say while materializing some coins in your hand which seem to represent Icas.

The bear starts growling.

You're sweating buckets at this point. "Alright, I get it, you're a man of business and won't accept pocket change. How's about I throw in a couple more?" you say, materializing even more Icas.

The bear roars and swats the Icas out of your hands, then roars right in your face.

Your hair is blown back. You stand there, frozen and comprehending how fucked you are. "Jeez man, ever heard of a breath mint?--"

>Run

Evi yanks you by the collar and sweeps you off your feet, carrying you like a princess. "Great idea, genius! A bear would totally want some money!"
---

Before you two could get far, a giant log lands in front of you.

[ ESCAPE BLOCKED! ]

You and Evi slowly turn your head to see the giant bear looming over you both with a ripped-off tree in its hands.

With great force, it throws the tree at you two.

Evi screams and runs to the side, holding you above her like she was offering you to the gods as a sacrifice. She then throws you on the ground and brandishes her knives once more. "We got no choice! We gotta fight this thing!"

You shake your head and get up, readying your spear. "Yeah? No shit!"

What's your battle plan?
---

>Ask bear if it's related to the bear at the store
---

If that doesnt work, focus on dodging as much as possible, counterattacking when an opening presents itself
---

>Get hype for this update.
>Ask bear if it's related to the bear at the store

You pat Evi on her shoulder. "Stay back for a bit, I'm gonna try one more thing." With that, you approach the bear slowly, keeping your guard up.

Evi looks at you with worry. "You ain't bein' serious right now, are ya?"

The bear only snarls at you, but not much else from it yet.

"Heya, Mr. B-Bear." you say, getting just a bit closer to it. "Just wanted to ask, uh, if you're related at all to a certain shopkeeper bear in Initium."

The bear pauses for a moment, then takes off its aviators dramatically. A very gruff voice comes out. "I knews it, yous guys had his scent on yous!" He puts his shades back on, then bares his claws once again. "He can send all da hitmen dat he likes, but he ain't killin mes today!"

You wonder how you could possibly be carrying the shopkeeper bear's scent, until your head jolts from remembering that potion you bought from him. You gulp, realizing that you were set up.

The boss bear lets out a mighty roar, then winds up an overhead smash.

Before you could react, Evi already closed the distance and slashes his arm before it could get anywhere close to you. "What parta 'we gotta fight this thing' didn'tcha get?!" She winds up another slash.

He swats her away once again. "Nice toothpicks, cupcake." He snarls, then starts charging towards where Evi flew.

>Dodge and counterattack when possible

You shout at Evi. "Jenny! You gotta go for counter-attacks instead of charging head-on!"

As you say that, Evi goes from being airborne to being buried in the ground with one smash from the bear. He winds up another smash.

Evi: HP [ 30% ] || SP [ 90% ]

Against your own advice, you grip your spear and leap at his back with the bravest scream you could muster. "Stay away from--"

Unfortunately, that scream shortly gets muffled from the bear falling backwards, crushing you under his weight. He rolls off and readjusts his aviators. "Man, yous guys don't know when to quits!"

You: HP [ 70% ] || SP [ 100% ]

He brings his claws behind him to ready yet another smash attack, until he gets interrupted by a blade-wave drawing blood from his face. He glares at Evi through his now scratched-up aviators and lets out an ear-ringing roar.

Evi tries to keep her stance firm through her weakened legs. "Don't...get in...his way!" she screams and slices out another shockwave towards his face.

The bear's face wounds now form an 'X' shape. He bares his fangs at her and starts charging.

You slowly get up and widen your eyes as you see Evi about to get mauled. "For the love of god! Evi!! Dodge!!!"

She narrows her eyes to focus on something--you're not too sure what. Just before the bear bulldozes her, her body jerks upwards. She then holds her knife in an icepick grip and starts carving the bear's back as she lands.

However, the bear only gets angrier and swiftly turns around to smack Evi away.

You run to her with haste, letting her land on you to mitigate the damage.

You: HP [ 50%] || SP [ 100% ]
Evi: HP [ 10% ] || SP [ 70% ]

The two of you help each other up, though Evi stumbles a bit with her attempt.

You help her keep herself stable. "Guess you DO know how to dodge."

She elbows you weakly while mustering a grin. "And I guess y'do know my name."

The bear readjusts his shades again. "That's it, I ain't playin' games no more!" He shakes the forest with another roar, then starts charging at you two much faster than before.
---

You hand her the HP Potion. "Stay back for now," you say, standing in front of Evi. "I don't think you can afford another hit."

She hesitates, but ultimately nods and steps back while drinking the potion and clutching her wounds. "Dang...it'll take a while for my health t'get back up anyways."

You keep your feet firmly planted on the ground, ready to counter the Bear's charge.

Unexpectedly however, he springs off the ground just before he could be within your attacking range.

Your eyes widen as you see that he's flying straight to Evi.

She grits her teeth through the pain of all her wounds, firmly gripping her knives once again. "Not yet...! I ain't going down yet!" she yells as more shockwaves shoot out of her blades.

The bear starts spinning around like an airborne drill to brush off her attack.

You quickly make your way to her, but it doesn't look like you'll make it to her in time.

She continues to shoot out even more shockwaves, until...

Evi: HP [ 34% ] || SP [ 0% ]
Status: HP Regeneration (10 seconds)

She falls to her knees, still swinging her knives around in desparate hope that more shockwaves would come out.

You run faster--peddling your legs forward with all the strengh you can muster. Still, it's not enough.

The bear is only a few meters away from shredding Evi now.

You keep pushing yourself forward, but your legs start getting tuckered out. You scream as you picture the thought of your first adventuring partner dying before your eyes.

Times slows to a crawl. A prompt appears right in front of you: [ FLY ]

You don't bother to read it; you simply focus in on it desparately.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ucfzn_IZqpQ" data-time="

Time resumes. You zoom towards the bear at lightning-speed with a new flaming pair of wings and crash into him, knocking him away from Evi.

All of your momentum dissipates from your collision, along with your wings. You land on Evi.

She tries to push you away. "What in blazes..." she eventually rolls you off, "...was that?!"

You get up and dust yourself off, then grab Evi's hand to help her up. "Dunno...but I don't think we're done yet."

You: HP [ 50% ] || SP [ 100% ]
Evi: HP [ 60% ] || SP [ 0% ]

The bear stands back up and cries out in pain, then rips off a tree.

You blankly look at Evi. "Please dodge."
She blankly looks at you back. "Yeah yeah, and counterattack right? I'll do it." She grins and puts her hood back on. "But not 'cuz you told me to."

Evi makes one more mad dash at the bear, who's readying up a giant swing of his tree. She materializes her knives again and crosses her arms. "Don't get..."

You narrow your eyes on a certain spot on the ground just ahead of Evi. A prompt appears: [ ]
Focusing on it, your arm jerks forward and hurls your spear towards the spot, impaling it at an angle.

Evi looks like she's about to meet the full force of the bear's great swing, until she drives her foot right into the handle of your spear. She then uses it as a springboard and launches herself up to the sky, dodging the bear's attack with finesse. With her hands firmly gripping her knives, she spins around rapidly on her descent.

The bear is still stuck from the momentum of his tree-swing. He loses grip of the tree, letting it fly away.

Evi accelerates her cyclone even more. "...in our way!!!"

In the next second, the forest echoes out with the sounds of torn flesh and cracked bones as Evi drills a hole right through the bear.

She lands gracefully on her knees, panting in exhaustion.

The bear's corpse crashes to the ground behind her, disintegrating into pixels.
---

[ SIMU-KERFUFFLE: Boss Bear, WIN! ]

Nobert Nopants:
[ Affinity up! Lv 3 Disco Dumbass -> Lv 5 Disco Driver ]
[ Level up bonus: Inventory expanded! (STACK: +2 memory slots) ]
[ New Skill: Blazing Trail (Cast, SP15%, Description: Hastens target for a brief moment)
[ 80 Icas get! ]
Your Icas: 236

Evi EdgemasterX:
[ Affinity up! Lv 3 Edge user -> Lv 5 Edge Tempest ]
[ Level up bonus: Inventory expanded! (ALLOCATE: +100MB) ]
[ New skill - Storm Shank (Edge, SP15%, Description: Spin to deflect projectiles and deal damage in rapid succession ]
[ 80 Icas get! ]
Evi's Icas: 101

(( Sig will start including info sheet on characters if you need it for reference ))

---

You are currently trapped under a tree--the stray one from the bear's missed attack.

---

You are now Evi.

You run over to try to help your odd-fashioned friend--whose name you have yet to ask--out of the tree, but it proves to be too heavy for you to lift.

He taps on the tree violently. "Oof...Andy, you're making it worse!"

You stomp on the tree, slightly ticked off that he's still messing up your name. "Ah, quit your yappin'. I'll getcha outta here somehow."

You look around for anything you could use to get the tree off of him, but all that's around you is more trees and the path that the bear cleared. You might find some help back in town, but that could take longer.

What do you do?
---

bump
---

Investigate the path that the bear cleared.
---

But before doing so, vent your frustration on the trees around you
---

updating when i wake up probably
---

Up
---

>Go to the path the bear cleared

You pat the tree on top of him. "Stay put, alright?"

He whistles. "...Oh, I had a choice to do anything else?"

You stomp on the tree again. "Yeah, you can stop bein' a sarcastic doof!"

He grimaces in pain. "Alright alright, staying put it is."

With that, you sigh and march off towards the path that the bear cleared.

>Vent your frustration on the trees around you

You're a good ways deep into the path with nothing to see besides fallen trees and leaves.
Nothing but your thoughts either. The more you look at these trees, the more pissed off you get for some reason.

You finally snap and start harshly kicking on a random tree to the side. "Agh! Ya dumb trees! Why'd ya have t'get in my way! Can't believe I gotta go adventurin' alone again!"

Suddenly, a prompt appears: [ ! ]

You quickly jump back in case it's something dangerous.

Against your expectations, a black butterfly emerges from inside the tree you mercilessly thrashed.

You hear a ghastly voice from somewhere: "You there. Angry peon. I demand your soul."
You look around to where it's coming from, swatting away the butterfly that's aggressively flying in front of your face.

The voice reaches out to you again, this time with more anger. "Peon! You shall give up your soul at once!"

You sit with crossed legs to ponder if you've finally gone crazy. "Aw rats. Did I piss off the tree gods or somethin'?" you say as you put a hand to your chin.

The butterfly lands on your hand.

The voice comes out again. "Do you dare taunt me, peon?! Offering me estate to your flesh puppet and luring me into thinking your guard is down?! I am INSULTED!!!"

The butterfly starts flying around your hand and nuzzling against it.

"Haha! Tremble before my might, peon! You are faced with a god--"

You yawn and instinctively cover your mouth, nearly bringing the butterfly to it.

The voice starts getting shaky. "This cannot be! My godly powers are being bested?!"

The butterfly starts flapping aggressively, tickling your nose a little.

You sneeze. It gets blown away.

The voice comes to you once again, meek and weakened. "A temptress of the winds! I was a fool! Peon! You have been deemed worthy by my infallible judgement--"

You stand back up and stretch out your arms, swatting the butterfly away by accident. "Well, no use beatin' round the bush. Gotta save my partner!" With that, you continue walking forward.

The butterfly lands on your nose.

"Peon! Do you view me with such incredible disrespect?! I'll have you know that these lands were once mine!--"

You pluck the butterfly off your nose and have it stand on your finger. "Ah, did I scare ya from your home? I'm real sorry 'bout that." You bring it closer to your face. "Ain'tcha a cutie! You can come along with me if y'like! I think I'll call ya..."

What shall you name this butterfly?
---

I name the butterfly nikko004 since it evolved from an ugly form

Name the butterfly Peon.
---

Kircheis posted...

Name the butterfly Peon.

---

>Name the butterfly nikko004 since it evolved from an ugly form

While you find it cute, after staring at it for a while, you do find it slightly unappealing. The name "nikko004" flashes into your thoughts for a moment, but you're not sure what it means.

>Name the butterfly Peon

The word "peon" echoes in your mind, standing out to you especially after it was repeatedly iterated by that strange voice. It doesn't sound like bad name for your little companion either.

"...Peon! That's what I'll call ya!" you say while smiling at it.

It flies up and around aggressively. "This is mockery beyond atrocity! I will not stand for this--"

You've already started walking forward. Peon simply lands on the top of your hood in defeat.

Minutes tick away as you keep walking without anything eventful happening. Eventually, you reach the end of the cleared trees. That boss bear sure ran a long way just to hunt you down.

Standing out in your vision is the sight of smoke rising from somewhere just up ahead. You figure since you have no other leads, you'd go there.

You wade through branches and bushes until you finally reach a wide open area within the forest.
As you jump out of the greenery, you're met with the surprised and cautious gazes of a bunch of hooded figures. Looking around, all you see are tents lined up around the place, with a well-burning campfire in the middle. Looks like you found the source of the smoke.

Your HUD flashes a message: [ Shitty Bandit Encampment ]

One particular lady by the campfire, wearing a hood with more detailed embroidery, makes a big "X" with her arms. She speaks out loudly to everyone around her. "Calm down everyone, looks like it's just one of us."

With that, everyone resumes their lollygagging.
You stand there, blinking your eyes in confusion.

Peon flutters around vigorously. "Yes...yes! Souls EVERYWHERE! You shall all be fantastic offerings to me--"

The hooded lady swats Peon away as she walks over to you. "Welcome back, fellow Shitty Bandit."

You crane your neck up as you realize just how tall she actually is, considering how you barely come up to her shoulders. You shake your head out of your trance, then pout at her. "Hey, that's pretty rude of ya, lady!"

She crosses her arms. "Are you already forgetting that that's the name of our group? C'mon, you're even wearing our uniform with pride and honor!"

A bead of sweat rolls down your cheek. In reality, you just stole this uniform off of someone during your start, but you can't let her know that. "Oh, r...right! Yeah, sorry about that, boss!"

She smiles and pats your head. "It's just 'Cherry.' No need for boss around these parts. Anyways," she turns around and starts walking off, "you should probably rest up somewhere. I got things to sort out."

Peon flies in front of you. "That one! I demand that one's soul! That mortal would be a delicious sacrifice--"

You let it land on your fingers. "Didja see that, Peon? She was hot!"

It flutters its wings a little. "Exterior appearances are trifle to me! I only care about souls!--"

You move your finger to your chin. "Man, I wonder if she's got any cool blades--" You suddenly slap yourself. "Dangit, gotta focus. I'm here to get help." You ponder for a bit. "Hmm, he should be fine bein' stuck for a while."
You take a gander around the encampment once again, filled with other hooded figures sitting or walking around. The HUD highlights a few areas with panels:
[ Item Tent ]
[ Training grounds ]

It doesn't seem to highlight the other tents. What do you do?
---

Check out the item tent

Attempt to flirt with Cherry and check if she has any blades while she's distracted
---

Peon : explode herself to destroy the tent

Nob: hums any disco music he knows in misguided attempt to raise funk level and to pass the time
---

MelzezDoor posted...

Nob: hums any disco music he knows in misguided attempt to raise funk level and to pass the time

Also tries to sing September by Earth, Wind and Fire while doing this
---