Board 8 > "Random Elimination Rebirth" (writing project - STORY topic)

(+) Yeah! (+)

That's what I meant to call it, not "Writing Project Rebirth." I was really, really drunk when I made that topic and got confused >_>

Chapter 1 incoming!

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ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu
(about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)

HYPE

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MMBN style fighting game made by me in the link below!
http://sandbox.yoyogames.com/games/184947-b8bn

Hype tag.

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http://i.imgur.com/XAF2w.png

CHAPTER 1: You People Need to Pay Attention to Chapter Titles

"WHADDAYA MEAN 'YOU PEOPLE?!'" Growled Tom. He still felt groggy and was yet to start asking himself where he was and why he was there.

"YEAH!" Agreed Voltch, angrily shaking his fist. "Wait... I'm here? I didn't even sign up at this point! Was it just assumed that I would want to be in this and would sign up if I saw that topic? Did I just get signed up automatically?" Although he was deeply pondering these questions calmly and thoughtfully, his fist continued to shake, almost as if he no control over the muscles in that arm.

"Wait... We're all just waking up in a weird room. Where are we and why are we here? This makes no sense!" Exclaimed Mcflubbin. "Oh my God..." His eyes went wide with fear. "This is sort of like Saw! WHAT IS HAPPENING! I'M FREAKING OUT, MAN!" He began to panic.

"Settle down, ya f***in newb!" Laughed Ryoko. "Yeah, sure, we're all gonna die but these things happen and as long as we sign up for the next one, we'll be back, alive and well for the time being."

McFlubbin was not at all put at ease by Ryoko's explaination. "I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!" He screamed over and over.

"Relax," said MegaWentEvil. "I always get killed off first in these because the guy who writes them has a problem with me... and so does the rest of the board... As long as I'm alive, you're safe."

"That's right," agreed GenesisSaga. "He knows he's gonna get killed first and he still signs up. If there's anything positive to be said about MegaWentEvil, it's that he's a really good sport when it comes to getting killed off first in writing projects!" She chuckled.

MegaWentEvil smiled proudly and went to hug GenesisSaga.

"EW GROSS! DON'T TOUCH ME!" Snapped the young woman in disgust... GenesisSaga is the Genesis who's a girl right? I always get the Genesis accounts mixed up >_>

"Wait a minute, back up..." Said Dante thoughtfully. "We always die in these but we come back in the next one when we sign up... What happened last time? I don't remember it ever finishing..."

The other people in the room all thought for a moment but those who have not followed this project series were confused and all had really dumb looks on their faces. Seriously, if I could show you pics of their faces, you'd laugh at them.

"I don't remember either," Added Dante's Alt. "I remember Caelus getting killed by some admin/mod thing and his alts taking over and being really incompetent. Then there was something about zombie bees and that's all I remember."

"Whoa! You're here too, bro?" Gasped Dante to his alt.

"F*** yeah I'm here dude! Alts have always been allowed!" Replied Dante's alt. He and Dante high-fived.

"I remember that project was called Murder Marathon," Explained Mer. "Or as I like to call it, 'Mer'der Marathon." He chuckled at his cleverness.

"So is Caelus still dead? What's going on? Usually one or more of us knows something or Caelus/an alt shows up to tell us stuff," wondered Justin out loud. "The storyline can't really advance if we don't know what we're dealing with here..."

--
ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu
(about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)

Suddenly, a door which had been previously concealed opened in one of the walls and some sort of smoke or fog began to pour in. "I CAN ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS!" Boomed a low and excessively dramatic-sounding voice as a figure appeared in the doorway. He stepped through and immediately fell about 10 feet because the door was that high up on the wall.

"OW! F*** ME!" Shouted the man. He stood up and turned around to glare up at the door. "Are you kidding me? Why would you put that up there? F***ing idiots..."

"Caelus? Is that you?" Asked Regaro. "We were just talking about how you were dead... Also thanks for screwing me over in week 2 of board 8 big brother, dick!"

">_>" Replied Caelus. "Yeah sorry about that. Anyway, people who die live on through their alts, just like in real life. So tl:dr (too long: didn't read in case anyone doesn't know that): I didn't really die because my other accounts are still around and I've revived myself through them, mostly the Machete one, but the whole process has left my personality a little bit... fractured. Too much drinking has contributed to that as well... but yeah, here I am again."

"What about that legion thing based on admin/mods?" Asked JeffRaze. "Won't it try to kill you again? Wasn't there something about a character called 'The Writer' also? What about any other loose ends?"

"F*** 'em," answered Caelus. "Mods don't deserve to be in these, 'The Writer'... I probably have no idea what you're talking about and any other loose ends I just simply don't have to explain or even acknowledge."

Suddenly a can of spray paint appeared and painted a giant dick on the ceiling.

"What the hell?" Laughed Nio. Suddenly a kitten appeared on her head. "What the hell again but to a greater extent than before?!"

The kitten looked extremely angry and hissed at Caelus, then spoke. "I KILLED YOU ONCE BEFORE AND I WILL KILL YOU AGAIN!" Disclaimer: this reference to the character of Minio in XIII_Rocks' Battle Royale story is the intelectual property of user XIII_Rocks and will not be featured in this story after this one reference without express written consent of user XIII_Rocks.

"God damn right and don't you forget it!" Shouted XIII in a rowdy manner. The kitten then disappeared.

Caelus clutched his head, seemingly almost in pain. "Sorry... like I said, personality is fractured... not fully able to control my powers..."

"Maybe you should see a doctor," suggested Cody (user cody115533 or whatever. I won't include the numbers every time he does something because I'm lazy.)

"Nobody with Dr. in their username signed up!" Argued Caelus. "No Dr_Football or whatever alt Dr_Pizza is using now..." He trailed off and thought for a moment. "Well, you're Cody. If we take off the Y, you'd be Cod... If we reverse that, you would be Doc... HA! That's it! You'll be the doctor!"

--
ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu
(about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)

"Wait what?" Exclaimed Cody nervously. "I have no medical training and that's really too big of a stretch there."

"Fine, whatever. I need to go back to bed. I don't feel so good. I'll tell you all more information or whatever later," said Caelus. He disappeared.

"So if he can't control his powers, random weird s*** is just gonna happen for no reason?" Asked Tom.

A basket of fish appeared in the room and immediately caught fire, which led to many funny reactions and facial expressions.

"Heh," laughed XIII. "I wonder what kind of fish those are... Maybe Cod?" He elbow-nudged Cody. "Cod... get it? Like your name if we took off the Y... lol. I'm gonna start calling you Cod from now on."

"Please don't..." sighed Cod... He quickly realized what had just happened. "God damn it..." Clearly, it was too late. The joke had already been inceived. "I hate my life..."

"Relax, man!" Said MWE, trying to cheer Cod up. "You've got yourself a gimmick now! People with gimmicks tend to stick around for a while!... Except me because my gimmick is being hated and always the first to get killed. Maybe since I signed up yet again, knowing what my fate would be, Caelus will reward me by letting me survive the first chapter!"

And with that, the first chapter ended. No on had died yet, but sometimes the first chapter doesn't have any deaths... It's like an intro chapter to acquaint people to the story and... this just in, someone did die...

During that explanation paragraph, a loud BOOM rang out in a far corner of the room. Some user lay there, bleeding to death from a massive wound to the pelvic region. Well, it wasn't so much a 'wound' as a 'completely obliterated pelvic region.'

"Holy ass! That wasn't me!" Shouted MWE happily. "I'M NOT THE FIRST TO DIE THIS TIME! Thank you, unknown user, for taking a bullet for me so that I might die second instead of first!" Tears of joy trickled down his face.

It was in fact Whirlybird. He didn't sign up for this project. He had simply stumbled upon the room unintentionally after taking a wrong turn on his journey to track down and murder Commodore and Ulti because they had made fun of him on the internets, because that's what rational people do. He had accidentally shot himself in the junk with the shotgun he stole from his stepfather.

Mcflubbin, now chalk-white in color was absolutely horrified by the scene. "This... this is madness..." He said nearly in a whisper.

No one made a Sparta joke, but at least one person thought of it...

Also, apparently Whirlybird didn't make a wrong turn because Commodore is in fact in this story. He signed up after this chapter was written.

"Holy t**s!" Gasped Commodore. "I didn't know if he was serious about wanting to kill me or if he just wanted to hang out with his wang out... Either way he failed epically."

Everyone laughed... and that concludes chapter 1 for reals this time. Do you remember the title of the chapter? It might be important!

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ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu
(about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)

ROSTER

Dante
Maria (user saveus_Maria)
Tom
Justin
Inviso
XIII
JeffRaze (aka Bruno)
GenesisSaga
L3fty
Naomi
Dewott (may or may not be an alt)
Dante's Alt
3KL (I think a Dante alt too)
RKO (user RKOs_ExTha, possibly another Dante alt)
Todbot
Raka
Chrono (1219)
ScareChan
Chronic (1000... not to be confused with Chrono1219)
Mer
Regaro
Nio
MegaWentEvil
SEP
Catastrophy (user catastrophy15)
Maniac (aka muddersmilk)
Cod (user cody11335)
Crimson
Ryoko
Darren (SSBDarren64)
Mcflubbin
Stan (of the mysterious variety)
Commodore
Zazi
Han (OfTheNekos)
Voltch (added by me because he's always in these)

[numbers will be assigned later, after I close sign ups]

DEAD

LAST: Whirlybird - Accidentally shot himself in the pelvic region with a shotgun stolen from his stepfather, bled to death.

YOU CAN STILL SIGN UP IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY. Do that here, not the sign up topic, although I will continue to check that too.

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ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu
(about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)

tagging the story topic

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ruby slippers

tag

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snowpork
http://i56.tinypic.com/qy721s.jpg BlAcK_TuRtLe slapped all other Guru brackets.

my bold predictions:
Dante's alt outlasts him
Dewott is really GenesisSaga in disguise
NioraptH and Ryoko both make it into the top 10

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red shoes

Tag

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Look at your quote. Now look at mine. Sadly, your quote isn't mine, but if you watch Adventure Time, it could SMELL like mine. I'm on a rainicorn!

saveus_Maria posted...
my bold predictions:
Dante's alt outlasts him
Dewott is really GenesisSaga in disguise
NioraptH and Ryoko both make it into the top 10

insightful predictions. you're cool with being a girl right? Since I'm calling you Maria? I figured you would be but I'm asking just in case

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ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu
(about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)

I'm the nervous new guy, eh? Haha, I can dig it.

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http://i.imgur.com/XAF2w.png

Taggage.

Awesome stuff.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoW_OwA0f7g

I am okay with that

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ruby slippers

saveus_Maria posted...
I am okay with that

:)

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ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu
(about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)

Yes 007 for liiiife.

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http://img.imgcake.com/crimjpgpe.jpg Mo' buildings mo' problems
ocean kinda grew on me like a flesh eating ...fungus. -BIGPUN9999

ImTheMacheteGuy | Posted 11/18/2011 9:31:33 PM | message detail | quote
YOU CAN STILL SIGN UP IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY. Do that here, not the sign up topic, although I will continue to check that too.

Sign me up for this thing. I will be admitted into this writing project as "Luster Soldier", although you may refer to me as "Luster" during the story if you want to.

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Luster Soldier --- ~Shield Bearer~ | ~Data Analyst~
Popular at school, but not as cool as BlAcK TuRtLe, Guru Champ!

tag

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http://img.imgcake.com/RegaroUlquiorrapngse.png

-LusterSoldier- posted...
ImTheMacheteGuy | Posted 11/18/2011 9:31:33 PM | message detail | quote
YOU CAN STILL SIGN UP IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY. Do that here, not the sign up topic, although I will continue to check that too.

Sign me up for this thing. I will be admitted into this writing project as "Luster Soldier", although you may refer to me as "Luster" during the story if you want to.

Luster Soldier has been added (as "Luster" by permission from user Luster Soldier) to the roster of character-participants and will, along with other users yet to be mentioned, be featured in the next chapter of the story, which will be written either tonight or tommorrow but will most likely be posted in this topic tomorrow night.

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ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu
(about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)

TAGHYPE

xD Whirlybird

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http://knowyourmeme.com/i/2120/original/Epic-LongBattle.jpg
NIO BUNNY:http://img.imgcake.com/nio/45darpnggu.png

daytime bump

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ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu
(about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)

signing here as well

Wott. Dewott-wott. DewOTT!!

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Training Day!
http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l9qi20uxxA1qbil9go1_500.png

HELL YEAH I'M ALWAYS IN THOSE!

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Vote for this guy in every contest: War

voltch posted...
HELL YEAH I'M ALWAYS IN THOSE!

enough to be pre-emptively added even :)

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ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu
(about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)

excellent

EXCELLENT

and yes feel free to reference my story, it might get me more hits.

also we should collaborate at some point, we are both awesome at zany witing projects

--
"I have a place to live because of FFXI, I lost my virginity because of FFXI, and that's why it's my #5 game of all time" - RPGLord95

yes I agree :)

and referencing will be more convenient considering Caelus' powers are going crazy and weird random s*** is gonna keep randomly happening.


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ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu
(about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)

So meta. So good.

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Bear, do not blame, what cannot be changed

WTF i missed the sign ups for this?!

LAAAAAAAAAAME

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NIO BUNNY - http://img.imgcake.com/nio/76ayvpngam.png

Wait. Should have read more >_>

*signs*

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NIO BUNNY - http://img.imgcake.com/nio/76ayvpngam.png

tagtagtag

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Ryoko
http://img.imgcake.com/nio/57ryokopngut.png

CHAPTER 2: To Speak or Not to Speak

"No, you guys need to shut up. It's bad enough I have all of you to deal with. I don't need any further complications. I'm sticking to my usual formula and I'm not gonna deviate from what I'm used to!" Argued Caelus, clutching his head. "Everyone gets a line! That's final!"

"I know you want to have all who signed up speak within the first two chapters," explained Machete, a Caelus alt. "But you have to face the fact that it can't happen. You have to step out of your comfort zone and accept the fact that some things are out of your control!"

"NOTHING IS EVER OUT OF MY CONTROL!" Screamed Caelus. "I'll show you! I'll MAKE him speak!"

-

In the room where the "story participants" were being held, one person had a strange look on his face as his hands stopped moving. He gagged a few times.

"Dude, what's wrong?" Asked Catastrophy, backing away. "All of us being killed one by one is one thing, but these bizarre events are weirding me out..."

The gagging participant suddenly let forth a massive heave, puking out a winged creature, which hovered in the air in front of his face.

"Hey gang! I'm Pterodicktyl, the racist Pterodactyl comedian!" Shouted the creature. "What did the black dude say to his Mexican buddy at work?" The critter exploded before he got the chance to reveal the offensive punchline.

-

"See?" Laughed Figure, another Caelus alt. "You don't have control over our powers anymore."

"You might as well just give in to the insanity. You've done that before. Hell, you got enough people who you do in real life anyway..." Joked Paradox, a Caelus alt created for a previous writing project.

"You guys aren't real! You're just hallucinations that I can see because my brain got f***ed up! Stop telling what to do... even if you're right!" Snapped Caelus.

"We're not just in your head, honey... We're for real. You can see us, you can hear us... you can even feel us..." Explained a squid, rubbing its tentacle along Caelus' leg.

"ACK! STOP THAT, SENSUAL SQUID!" Yelled Caelus. "You're an alt from like eight years ago that no one remembers and I forgot the password to a long time ago! You shouldn't even be here!"

"And yet here I am... as sensual as the days I was flirting with Smurf's Viper_Vixen alt... Surrender to me and I will-" Squid was interrupted by a sharp kick from Caelus and slammed into a wall really hard, but didn't seem too affected.

Machete stepped forward. "Look, you're in a reality that you don't fully control and that scares you, but you have to face it. You can't escape it. You want every who has signed up and did not speak in chapter 1 to speak now in chapter 2... but you have to face the fact that one participant is a deaf-mute..."

"GET. OUT. OF. MY. HEAD!" Screamed Caelus dramatically.

-

--
ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu
(about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)

Meanwhile, the alt known as 3KL was trying to explain that he had no idea why he just puked out a racist pterodactyl comedian which then exploded, but he was having trouble because the others didn't seem to understand sign language. (Bet you didn't see this coming).

"I'm sorry. I can understand that you are deaf and mute, probably as a result of you being an alt... but I just don't know what you are trying to communicate..." Said Maria with a shrug. She was female because user saveus_Maria said that was cool.

3KL shrugged.

"I don't know, you guys," said Cam- I mean Chronic (>_>) thoughtfully. "This chapter might be really long thanks to the passage about Caelus and his alts. There are still quite a few of us who have yet to speak, and it seems like he's gonna try to give everyone that didn't speak in chapter 1 a line or two in this chapter. It might drag on. What should we do?"

"As someone who is new to this project series, I have no idea what you're talking about," answered ScareChan. "You might as well be speaking some odd-sounding Asian language to me..."

"Looks like the pterodactyl wasn't the only racist here," Scoffed Raka angrily.

ScareChan frowned. "Oh, COME ON!"

"De... Wott! Dew, ott! De-Wott! DEWO!!!... Tt," Exclaimed Dewott.

"What the f*** are you supposed to be, a pokemon?" Asked L3fty.

"I dunno, probably," replied Dewott. "EWOTT! D!"

"Okay, for the record, I would just like to announce that this chapter is very silly," Announced Luster (known in many circles as 'Luster Soldier,' but never, NEVER as '-LusterSoldier-' Anyone who called him that would be bled out and left in a dumpster). "Plot elements have been introduced, which is a plus, but most of the chapter has been a series of ridiculous lines from various users to the point where I must assume that whoever is responsible for this story is simply trying to give speaking lines to as many characters who have not yet spoken as possible."

"Damn it, Luster! We already know that!" Snapped Ayvuir. "Go chug some Mountain Dew or something!"

"I am unable to follow through with request as the only refridgeration unit in the room contains no Mountain Dew but rather an assortment of beers and several bags of Lebron James' blood, which are useful to me as I don't drink alcohol and do not share the same blood type as Lebron James."

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ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu
(about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)

Suddenly, that very same fridge burst open. The door flew off with great force but struck a wall. The bag of Lebron James' blood shot out as well, right into the mouth of an unsuspecting participant. The bag burst as the participant struggled.

"GLURP! GRALG! GLARM!" Gurgled MegaWentEvil as a liter or so of blood filled his lungs and stomach. It just so happened that he was allergic to Lebron James. The blood quickly caused his lungs to swell and produce fluids as his trachea was blocked and his stomach rejected the biohazard, reacting in its own way, causing him to vomit sizzling blood and disolved tissue, which (as a result for his gasping for air) ended up in his lungs as well. Clutching his mouth, he toppled forward, convulsing as bubbling blood oozed from his mouth.

"I was..." started Ayvuir. "Really only half expecting something like that to happen."

"My goodness!" Gasped CheeseCardinal. "This event was more intense than the first time I tried gorgonzola at the tender age of four and a half!"

SEP smacked his forehead as a pained expression crossed his face. "Of COURSE someone said 'age of four and a half' JUST after MWE got killed!" He turned to a security camera with a frown. "Caelus! You need to get your sense of timing back!"

"I'M TRYING!" Yelled Caelus over the loudspeaker. "My brain's all f***ed up! I'm still trying to get numbers for all of you... and my alts are all being dicks and they won't shut up!"

"I hate to say this, guys, but for once I think Caelus is making sense," warned Crimson. "He's usually more carefree. Something is going on."

Some stuff floated out of the fridge... specifically a birthday cake and 2 sausages. The formed together to look like a clock, the the sausages rotating as the hands of it.

"OH! This reminds me! It's my birthday at some point this year!" Squealed Catastrophy in delight.

The cake dropped to the floor but the sausages shot outward. One shot into Catastrophy's mouth, right through the back of his neck/head before penetrating the wall behind him. The stunned user stood there with a stunned look before falling backward.

3KL motioned 'HOLY UNICORN DONKEY SCROTUM!' but to everyone else it just seemed like a bunch of silly hand gestures.

DEAD

LAST: Whirlybird - Accidentally shot himself in the pelvic region with a shotgun stolen from his stepfather, bled to death.
NOT LAST: MegaWentEvil - Asphyxiation and massive internal bleeding caused be an allergic reaction to Lebron James blood, which he ingested.
NOT LAST: Catastrophy - The hour-hand of a food clock (a sausage) impaled him in the mouth through the back of the neck.

--
ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu
(about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)

the only ones who are me are Dante, Dante is Sexy, and 3KL btw

--
boring and mundane signature
Now with more bold! Less Italics due to bold

yeah I'm not sure who Dewott is and I figured Cheese isn't you. I just thought it would be cool to have a deaf-mute character. I've never done that before so it will be be fun to write :)

(and considering how f***ing easy it is to get modded these days, "3kl" seems like the perfect account to never say anything >_>)

--
ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu
(about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)

Yessssssss Whirlybird shooting himself in the dick

--
Commodore
http://i941.photobucket.com/albums/ad258/CommodoreTN/commbyfr0q.png

I knew you;d like that Commo. I knew you'd like that even before you signed up :)

also, if anyone wants to archive this somewhere, that would be awesome.

--
ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu
(about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)

good stuff so far

--
ruby slippers

Yay I have a gimmick! Very unfortunate that I'm not a doctor though.

--
"A delayed game is eventually good, but a rushed game is forever bad." -Shigeru Miyamoto
PLEASE Vote 4 Ditto- http://www.pokemon.com/us/vote/#/about

"Damn it, Luster! We already know that!" Snapped Ayvuir. "Go chug some Mountain Dew or something!"

YES!

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NIO BUNNY - http://img.imgcake.com/nio/76ayvpngam.png

Tagg

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Oh, I am one yet many.

Come on! Killed be high velocity food and not Pterodictyl, the racist pterodactyl. Well, at least I didn't shoot myself in the junk like Whirlybird.

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I bring order and chaos, I am life and death, creator and destroyer, just like the rest of humanity.

To add to the reference of my birthday it is May 5, 199X.

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I bring order and chaos, I am life and death, creator and destroyer, just like the rest of humanity.

This is glorious in every way

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http://img.imgcake.com/22763810150194882301443717534644274676943735581nmu.jpg

CHAPTER 3: Numericality

Maniac fell to the floor, letting out a gurgling scream as blood poured out of his mouth, along with a few tooth fragments. "AH! F***!" He yelled.

"No way! We had two deaths in the last chapter and this one BEGINS with a death?! RIGHT AWAY?! This is unprecedented!" Gasped Todbot excitedly.

"No, dummy! He's not dying. He hit himself in the mouth with a hammer!" Laughed Fire. "Weren't you watching? Anyway, he'll be fine."

"Well... why the hell did he do that?" Asked Todbot.

Maniac spit blood onto the floor. "Because Fire dared me too and I'm a Maniac. Why do you think?" He chuckled and stood back up, placing a towel against his mouth without wondering why or how a towel just appeared in mid-air right in front of him.

Suddenly there was a crackle over the loudspeaker. "PARTICIPANTS!" Boomed the voice of Caelus. "It is time for someone to die!... Who? Well, my sources tell me it's none other than... 9459! Step forward, if you would be so kind." He cackled evilly.

No one moved. Instead, everyone just looked around with either blank expressions (the newcomers to this series) and rolling of the eyes (the veterans who know how these things work).

"You haven't assigned us numbers yet, dips***!" Snapped Zazi, breaking the awkward silence.

"SENSUAL SQUID!" Yelled Caelus to someone in the background. "YOU SAID YOU WOULD ASSIGN THE NUMBERS AFTER YOU WERE DONE FILMING THAT DAMN BARELY LEGAL... Oh... And clearly you're not done..." He sighed deeply, probably unaware that the loudspeaker was still on. "Sorry... Wait... Why the f*** are you filming in MY OFFICE?!" There was a bunch of clattering sounds and the loudspeaker went silent.

Han shrugged. "If this is what we're gonna have to deal with, I might just kill myself now."

"I agree," agreed Inviso in agreement. "The incompetence sub-plot is already starting to get stale and it's only chapter 3. This does not bode well, tee bee kyew aytch."

Suddenly, Caelus appeared in the room. "I'm doing the best I can, you dicks! Just bear with me okay?" He winced and rubbed his forehead again. "Okay, I've assigned you all numbers. You can find them in your minds because you know them now."

After a few puzzled seconds, the participants realized that they indeed knew their numbers. Finally, Caelus did something right.

"Okay, so can we get back to killing now?" Asked Caelus. "9459, now you know who you are... so STEP THE F*** FORWARD MOTHAF***A!" He was suddenly speaking with a Samuel L. Jackson accent.

No one stepped forward, though all participants clearly thought of their respective numbers. Strangely, all seemed relieved.

"So, you all are showing me your PA-PA-PA-POKER FACE PA-PA-POKER FACE!" Suggested Caelus with a Lady Gaga accent. He frowned, wondering why that happened. "Guess I'm gonna have to play hardball. Fine, 9459, not only will you be dying tonight, but so will 57 and 30448!" He was very angry now. "All three of you GET OVER HERE!" He bellowed with a guy who does the voice for Scorpion in Mortal Kombat accent. Okay now I'm probably just being dumb.

Crimson stood up bravely and approached Caelus. The others gasped, not expecting a Random Elimination veteran like her to be killed this early. Crimson whispered in Caelus' ear. "Are you maybe reading the numbers of the three people who are already dead?"

--
ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu
(about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)

Caelus frowned again and checked his notes for nearly a whole minute and seemed to be annoyed by something. "Nevermind, false alarm. Anyway, check the roster." He disappeared with an embarassed look on his face.

Everyone went over to the roster, which was hastily scribbled and difficult to read.

"Well THAT'S professional," complained Naomi. "I can't even read my... wait, roster? Didn't we have our numbers like implanted in our memories? Why do we need a roster?"

"Yeah!" Agreed SEP. "And how the hell is my number -23? Seriously? A negative number? Is this drunk f*** even trying anymore?"

"Considering that my number is seven digits long, I'm a bit skeptical >_>," answered Ayvuir, whose number was indeed of the seven digit variety.

"This is ridiculous," Scoffed Zazi. "I should've just paid the 25 cents to use a suicide booth instead of signing up for this. This is seriously ruining my death experience. I'm a paying customer, damn it!"

"You... paid money to be in this?" Asked Darren. "Knowing you were going to be killed at some point?"

"Well I dunno. I assume so!" Replied Zazi. "Isn't that why everyone's here?"

"I'm here because I spelled my own name wrong when I was nominating a certain character for a character battle," explained Chrono. "There's no h in the character's name, just in the game's name, lol me. At least... I THINK that's why I'm here... where is here anyway?"

I assumed I was sent here by ExTha for RKOing him," added RKOsExTha. "I'm the last person to speak and that was an easy and generic thing for me to say."

It was then that everyone started to interact and get to know one another, as they had all spoken at least once, but only in one chapter except for Ayvuir because he got the seven digit number so I needed him to talk about that >_>.

Suddenly, someone was in the room. "It's time for another death!" Announced Caelus.

"Huh? Who the f*** are you?" Asked Zazi.

Caelus grinned and ran the edge of his machete across his face, creating a wound that would instantly heal itself. Suddenly, his expression returned to normal. "Sorry... that was Machete. Still trying to figure out if my alts are personalities of mine or separate entities that all exist. I dunno, it's complicated. ANYWAY! Let's do this... 69!"

At first the participants looked puzzled, then they began to giggle and snicker.

"Yeah yeah very f***ing funny. 69 lollololllll I don't control the random number generator!" Argued Caelus.

Han began to hack and choke, flailing about and trying to remove the grip on his neck as he struggled to breathe. He lashed out, striking at the force that bound him.

Inviso dropped her strangulation victim who had dropped his pants in front of her and had tried to remove hers as well... before the strangulation began.

"Jesus Christ!" Coughed Han. "I was just trying to do what he said to do! It's not like I'm the ONLY guy with his wang hanging out right now!" His argument was responded to with a kick to the ribs. "Damn it... Don't... be hatin'..."

"You f***ing people are children," snapped Caelus, clutching his head in agony again. "Not gonna say this again, user 69, please step forward."

--
ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu
(about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)

Dewott stepped forward sheepishly. "De... wott?" (seriously is this a pokemon? I feel like I saw somewhere that it was...).

There was a flash of light and Dewott screamed... but his scream was premature. The flash of light didn't really do anything... except give him different clothes... "Dewott? De... wott in the name of Allah is this?" He was suddenly a middle eastern man. "I don't get it. I'm just Middle Eastern, not dead..."

The ceiling exploded and a giant winged beast appeared. It picked Dewott up in its long, sharp beak and crushed him with its jaw muscles before lifting its head to the sky and gulping down what remained, devouring the helpless user whole.

"Bleh, tastes like SAND am I right?" Joked the Pterodicktyl, the NOW GIGANTIC racist pterodactyl. "The joke's on him! I only have 2 virgins in my stomach! ZING! I'll be here all week! Or not, who knows..." The collossal creature flew away.

The rest of the participants just looked at one another uneasily.

DEAD

41st: 57 Whirlybird - Accidentally shot himself in the pelvic region with a shotgun stolen from his stepfather, bled to death.
40th: 30448 MegaWentEvil - Asphyxiation and massive internal bleeding caused be an allergic reaction to Lebron James blood, which he ingested.
39th: 9459 Catastrophy - The hour-hand of a food clock (a sausage) impaled him in the mouth through the back of the neck.
38th: 69 Dewott - Turned into an authentic Middle Eastern dude, then devoured by Pterodicktyl, the racist Pterodactyl

ROSTER OF THE LIVING (now with numbers)

-67 Dante
31789 Maria
2713 Tom
81660 Justin
-4740 Inviso
8367 XIII
85418 JeffRaze
-865 GenesisSaga
92669 L3fty
5966 Naomi
803 Dante's Alt
-724 3KL
33866 RKOsExTha
7476 Todbot
678328 Raka
9214 Chrono
45484 ScareChan
-1 Chronic
88700 Mer
736 Regaro
262 Nio
-23 SEP
517167 Maniac
68372 Cod
3333 Crimson
2471 Ryoko
4143 Darren
10136 Mcflubbin
52752 Stan
611 Commodore
977 Zazi
19475 Han
7154 Voltch
27085 CheeseCardinal
2 Luster
54157 Fire
4216937 Ayvuir

--
ya right you are case the sunglasses have 3d so i can see right threw their clothes -ertyu
(about wearing sunglasses to stare at boobs without girls noticing)