Board 8 > i am very depressed these days and dont really have a reason why

(+) Yeah! (+)

like i wish i could provide an explanation for it but its not there. every day seems to be me forcing it and constantly managing physical and emotional energy as if ive been given starvation rations on both. its been a month or so without really an end in sight

"but, i am the game, maybe you should exercise more" - ive worked out five to six days a week for years and am in the strongest shape of my life.

"but, i am the game, maybe its time you stopped using all those drugs you are on!" - ive been clean from all drugs and alcohol for nearly three years and stay proactive in my recovery

"but, i am the game, maybe you need more fulfilling work" - i love my job and recently got a badass promotion. im good

"but, i am the game, have you tried not being some loser virgin? a girlfriend might help" - i havent had a period of being single for more than like a month for probably over a decade or so and my newest partner is super cool

"wow, i am the game, thats sad that you feel bad. maybe you should talk to someone?" - ive been in therapy and counseling for years and never miss an appointment

i feel like ive just reached a wall in life. i do not enjoy it. very sad to say

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iiaattgg posted...

I havent had a period of being single for more than like a month for probably over a decade or so and my newest partner is super cool

There's your problem brah

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thats what depression is though. there doesnt have to be an underlying reason for you to be depressed. the chemicals in your brain are messed up and even living a perfect lifestyle cant necessarily fix that. it fucking sucks man

Nelson_Mandela posted...

There's your problem brah

im not really wired for the single life man. i definitely dont have the energy or desire at my stage in life to do the playing the field route and i honestly get lonely quick if i dont have that close daily connection thqt you find in a relationship. and like i said the one im with now brings a lot of positivity and happiness to my life currently

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Hannyabal posted...

thats what depression is though. there doesnt have to be an underlying reason for you to be depressed. the chemicals in your brain are messed up and even living a perfect lifestyle cant necessarily fix that. it fucking sucks man

which is a very difficult thing to process and fully accept

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iiaattgg posted...

im not really wired for the single life man.

If you say so...

I guess it's the lack of drugs, then

Just kidding of course.

How's work?

while opiates are generally a great cure for depression the absolute happiest day to day period of my life has been the 2+ years after I got clean. its only been recently that ive hit a wall

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work is fantastic. i am surrounded by people i geniunely love and will hopefully work there for the rest of my life. its stressful at times but not in an unhealthy way

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What is your dream job?

read a cool visual novel like BALDR SKY

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By the way, sorry I didn't intend for that to be a bait. I've done plenty of drugs, no judgements <_>

turbopuns3 posted...

What is your dream job?

honestly its where im at now. mainly just because of the people. it could be scrubbing toilets and id still do it if it was with them. luckily for me i also love the job itself so its a good setup. and no need to apologize, it was a funny joke

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Bossman_Coolguy posted...

read a cool visual novel like BALDR SKY

what is baldr sky about

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Also my real advice would be to pursue a passion that you find meaningful for the long-term (ie, what you'd like to be remembered for).

Some people find that in their career, some people pursue an artistic endeavor, others find that in their children.

Try one of those until you're happy again.

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iiaattgg posted...

honestly its where im at now. mainly just because of the people. it could be scrubbing toilets and id still do it if it was with them.

I guess there could be a separation there, possibly?

Like if "dream job" to you is defined by "the people" who you work with, then I suspect your perspective of what you really need to do for personal satisfaction is somewhat skewed.

For sure, working with great people is rare and awesome and worthy. But, if you ultimately crave to do something else, well, I assure you that somewhere out there exists a group of equally awesome people who are doing that thing you crave.

No need for sudden, drastic change, but start browsing for jobs and see what catches your fancy.

i get that but i also love the actual job like i said lol

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Don't try the last one if there's a chance they'll make you unhappy

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Sounds like you're really burned out, man. See if anything in this video relates to you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDvnw8eOjFQ

But maybe just try to take some time to yourself and just relax. Don't over-commit yourself if you have a tendency to do that.

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Have you tried any anti-depressants?
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WhiteLens posted...

Sounds like you're really burned out, man. See if anything in this video relates to you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDvnw8eOjFQ

But maybe just try to take some time to yourself and just relax. Don't over-commit yourself if you have a tendency to do that.

all but 2 and 3 align with how im doing

burnout is probably the best word to describe the feeling

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Jakyl25 posted...

Have you tried any anti-depressants?

i have never done well with them.

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iiaattgg posted...

while opiates are generally a great cure for depression the absolute happiest day to day period of my life has been the 2+ years after I got clean. its only been recently that ive hit a wall

The random depression from past opiate abuse will likely never completely go away. This is unlikely to be the last time in your life random depression will just creep up on you.

While I don't think opening up online is a bad thing, this is something you should definitely seek and continue to seek professional help for even when you think you have gotten over it.

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red13n posted...

The random depression from past opiate abuse will likely never completely go away. This is unlikely to be the last time in your life random depression will just creep up on you.

While I don't think opening up online is a bad thing, this is something you should definitely seek and continue to seek professional help for even when you think you have gotten over it.

the PAWS depression is real for me and it sucks, but generally it seems to only be a day or three. this has been a unique instance primarily due to the length of it so it makes me think its not coming from that piece. but i obviously could be wrong

definitely keeping up with therapy and the therapeutic parts of recovery. talk with mt sponsor regularly and go to about 2-3 meetings a week. attend individual therapy biweekly. its very helpful through the good times and the bad

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this may sound basic as shit but have you tried meditation

From personal experience, setting a very lofty goal that requires a lifetime of work is a great depression killer for me. As long as I'm working toward that in every facet of my life, I don't have time to be depressed. It only creeps in if I become stagnant, which is a great excuse for constant self-improvement. It's basically the antithesis of a vicious circle.

Anyway, best of luck buddy. There's a different answer for everyone.

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Seginustemple posted...

this may sound basic as shit but have you tried meditation

meditation works fantastic for me in terms of lifting me out of those moments where the depression is very very acute and im in the hole. its definitely not my answer in terms of dealing with the kind of baseline negative feelings though. i highly highly recommend it to everyone still

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Nelson_Mandela posted...

From personal experience, setting a very lofty goal that requires a lifetime of work is a great depression killer for me. As long as I'm working toward that in every facet of my life, I don't have time to be depressed. It only creeps in if I become stagnant, which is a great excuse for constant self-improvement. It's basically the antithesis of a vicious circle.

Anyway, best of luck buddy. There's a different answer for everyone.

i have kind of lost sight of goal setting. not that i havent had great progression recently, but its just been more harvesting the crop of hard work as opposed to tilling the land and planting the seeds. definitely not complaining as the harvest is the entire point, but like i said i have lacked in the goal department as of late. probably should change that

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iiaattgg posted...

but its just been more harvesting the crop of hard work as opposed to tilling the land and planting the seeds

If you and I are similar, then this is the exact *ding ding ding* statement I'd look for as a root cause. Depression gets me when I settle and feel like i need to sit back and enjoy my accomplishments. But then I start to think "this is really it?" and it gets fairly morbid from there.

Whatever you wanted in life, want more. And then make it happen.

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iiaattgg posted...

like i wish i could provide an explanation for it but its not there. every day seems to be me forcing it and constantly managing physical and emotional energy as if ive been given starvation rations on both. its been a month or so without really an end in sight

"but, i am the game, maybe you should exercise more" - ive worked out five to six days a week for years and am in the strongest shape of my life.

"but, i am the game, maybe its time you stopped using all those drugs you are on!" - ive been clean from all drugs and alcohol for nearly three years and stay proactive in my recovery

"but, i am the game, maybe you need more fulfilling work" - i love my job and recently got a badass promotion. im good

"but, i am the game, have you tried not being some loser virgin? a girlfriend might help" - i havent had a period of being single for more than like a month for probably over a decade or so and my newest partner is super cool

"wow, i am the game, thats sad that you feel bad. maybe you should talk to someone?" - ive been in therapy and counseling for years and never miss an appointment

i feel like ive just reached a wall in life. i do not enjoy it. very sad to say

I feel ya, bud. Not to your level but this past week or so has literally been... go to work... put a movie on... fall asleep halfway through for 8 hours... wake up... watch the rest of it... go back to sleep for 4 hours... go back to work. Every single day. No energy to do anything. Don't want to do anything. Just miserable. Have video games to play and no will to even boot them up and play them.

= /

Something hopefully spurs your interest and gets you back in spirits soon.

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thanks seph, i will keep that in my mind. corrik, always feel free to message me if you want/need to talk! i obviously cant do much but i can be in the pit with you

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Man if anti-depressants didn't work I don't have any good advice but good luck man

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It's normal. Or rather very common, not normal. But damn if it took you until 30+ years to get this, let's trade brains.

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Nelson_Mandela posted...

Whatever you wanted in life, want more.

Aww yeah more sleep
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iiaattgg posted...

"wow, i am the game, thats sad that you feel bad. maybe you should talk to someone?" - ive been in therapy and counseling for years and never miss an appointment

Don't be afraid to try a new therapist and/ or psychiatrist if it's not helping.

There are drastically different styles that people respond differently to

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iiaattgg posted...

thanks seph, i will keep that in my mind. corrik, always feel free to message me if you want/need to talk! i obviously cant do much but i can be in the pit with you

I was alrdy somewhat in this rut, but basically after spending like 3 grand on re-doing my living room then my boiler breaks at my house leaving me with no hot water or heat for what is like idk 10 days now. So, that sent me further down the hole. Then the whole UNC-Duke debacle a week or so ago really cemented it. Put that with barely seeing my girl and my kid for the last 10 days or so due to staying at her mom's while the boiler is getting taken care of. The $$ just racking up to get this boiler fixed and everything. Just in a huge rut.

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build something awesome.


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In my experience, depression is always worst in February. It's simply the worst month of the year. I feel like this has been a really good February for me, and despite that, I still have been feeling the effects of winter finally taking its toll.

On the bright side, I noticed yesterday just how much longer it's staying light out. As I write this, it's almost 6:00 and I still see shades of blue in the sky. A month ago, it would have been dark at 5. Daylight savings will start in another 3 weeks. (I really wish we never went off that.)

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Make topics about ranking something.


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foolm0r0n posted...

It's normal. Or rather very common, not normal. But damn if it took you until 30+ years to get this, let's trade brains.

ive had periods but nothing prolonged. id imagine the drugs at the same time pushed out any current depression i was having at the time but also allowed it to hit hard later in life (and kept me from developing the proper skills to handle it)

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Corrik7 posted...

I was alrdy somewhat in this rut, but basically after spending like 3 grand on re-doing my living room then my boiler breaks at my house leaving me with no hot water or heat for what is like idk 10 days now. So, that sent me further down the hole. Then the whole UNC-Duke debacle a week or so ago really cemented it. Put that with barely seeing my girl and my kid for the last 10 days or so due to staying at her mom's while the boiler is getting taken care of. The $$ just racking up to get this boiler fixed and everything. Just in a huge rut.

i am sorry that you are having a rough go. i always thought you were a very smart and capable guy. what happened with duke/unc?

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banananor posted...

Don't be afraid to try a new therapist and/ or psychiatrist if it's not helping.

There are drastically different styles that people respond differently to

its something to consider but i also work very well with her. i struck gold when i started seeing her and shes helped me so much. if things continue the way that they are though id be open minded to a change of scenery

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Honestly, I would say that the next time you see your therapist, just tell her you're experiencing a burnout. Odds are, she had many clients go through the same thing, and well, would be more equipped with giving ideas on how to cope with it than any of us could.

For the time being, I would say just double down relaxing and your own self-care. Also getting adequate sleep helps since when you're really sleep deprived, your mood is the first thing that tanks.

And like azuarc mentioned, it could just be seasonal depression. Which in this case, try to be out in the sun when you can, but it typically will pass.

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You can do it I am the game

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iiaattgg posted...

i am sorry that you are having a rough go. i always thought you were a very smart and capable guy. what happened with duke/unc?

Dude... Duke UNC was one of the biggest meltdowns and improbable finishes of all time.

Like this doesn't even do the shit justice.. you sorta have to see it to under blowing a 13 point lead in 4 mins left. The most improbably buzzer beater to tie the game to go to OT by Duke. Then the worst chain of events in history to lose at the buzzer at the end of OT.

https://mobile.reuters.com/article/amp/idUSMTZXEG29EX5B1W

Not to mention UNC has lost on buzzer beater 3s basically the last 2 games now also.

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iiaattgg posted...

its something to consider but i also work very well with her. i struck gold when i started seeing her and shes helped me so much. if things continue the way that they are though id be open minded to a change of scenery

If your person is good, just tell them what you're telling us, although I'm sure you've told them already. They'll help you figure it out,

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Maybe youre fucked!

hi sess

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iiaattgg posted...

i havent had a period of being single for more than like a month for probably over a decade or so and my newest partner is super cool

Found the problem. You need to get with a worthy woman and start a family with her, not just change women. That obviously doesn't bring fulfillment.

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neonreaper posted...

Maybe youre fucked!

hi sess

now were reaching the land of accuracy

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