For those of you who don't know what this show is about, here's a few notes before I start.
What is Mystery Science Theater 3000?
From Wikipedia
Mystery Science Theater 3000 (often abbreviated as MST3K) is an American cult television comedy series created by Joel Hodgson and produced by Best Brains, Inc., that ran from 1988 to 1999.
The series features a man and his robot sidekicks who are trapped on a space station by an evil scientist and forced to watch a selection of bad movies, often (but not limited to) science fiction B-movies. To keep sane, the man and his robots provide a running commentary on each film, making fun of its flaws and wisecracking (or "riffing") their way through each reel in the style of a movie-theater peanut gallery. Each film is presented with a superimposition of the man and robots' silhouettes along the bottom of the screen.
What do you mean by 'every nationally broadcast episode'?
The first season of the show (Called Season 0 or KTMA season by fans) was only shown on local UHF station, aptly called KTMA, in Minneapolis. Due to the fact that a fair portion of these early episodes are either A): lost, B): recycled into later episodes or C): far inferior to the later episodes due to the riffs being improvised as they watched the movie (compared to them writing the show in advance starting in season one.) To make things simpler/easier, I'll just start off with the first nationally broadcast season, and go from there.
How many episodes will you be watching, then?
There are in total 198 episodes (this includes the 21 episode KTMA season, the 176 movies in the 'regular' series, and one feature length movie) of the series. Right now, I'm looking to only watching the 176 episodes.
Whoa, they made a movie?! Awesome! Why aren't you watching that?
Unlike the show itself, the MST3K Movie suffered a large amount of Executive Meddling, and the actual cast and crew disliked it compared to how they did the TV series. Since it really has no bearing on the show itself, I just feel it is easier not to mess with it. At least, at this point.
If you have any other questions for me, I'll be more than happy to answer them.
I should have the first episode up relatively soon. I've already written it out beforehand, and all I have to do is proofread it and make sure it flows smoothly.
Season One, Episode One: The Crawling Eye Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow T. Robot The Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Laurence Erhardt
Plot Synposis: At a remote Alpine village, mountain climbers are dying in large numbers. The culprit? A One-eyed, tenactled alien that hides in an radioactive cloud (and away from the movie till the last few minutes.) The only hope is scientist Alan Brooks (Forrest Tucker of F Troop fame) and a woman who keeps having 'visions' of what is happening.
Host Segments:
Segment One (Invention Exchange): Electric bagpipes (invented by Joel and the bots) and antiperspirant developed from dogs (The Mads). Despite the flaws of the antiperspirant, it wins this Invention Exchange.
Segment Two: Joel explains to the bots why humans losing their head is a big deal, before the bots argue with each other.
Segment Three: Gypsy unraveled herself. While unraveled, Joel and the Bots try to scratch an itch Gypsy has.
Segment Four: The Bots are scared to death by the horrible acting of Forrest Tucker. Joel then explains to the bots why the eye is creepy.
Ending Segment: Joel gives ram chips to each bot for telling a good and bad thing about the movie. Since Gypsy didn't see the movie, he asks Gypsy what 2 plus 2 is. Her answer? Richard Baseman. Joel gives her a ram chip anyways.
Review:
The movie suffered from bad acting,a laughably bad eye/tentacle monster, and terrible audio quality. Still, it was at least watchable on it's own, what with the silly premise, and mundane plot. A classic case of So Bad It's Good.
The riffs aren't on the same level as the later seasons, in both quality and quantity. Since this was the first episode where they had scripts, it was a decent first time, though at points I think they were still trying to improvise. The problem with the riffs was that 90% of the riffs are about the exact same things. F Troop jokes, fat jokes, bad looking background quips, or eye puns. After a while, it goes from pretty funny to half a chuckle to wanting them to stop talking (though there are long sections of dead air.)
Despite the weak riffs there were a few decent ones at least, and the host segments were pretty amusing. It's not one of the best episodes of the series (hell, it's not even one of the best of season one) but it's a fair start enough start. 5/10.
Favorite Riff: Crow (while imitating the Popeye Theme as a dead guy controlled by the alien chokes another man out through a door): "I'm Popeye the Sailor Man! I got a guy's head in my hand!" - I kinda give this the prop for favorite riff because of how random and out there it was. That, and not being a fat/eye/background/F Troop joke >_>.
I won't insist you review it or anything, but I recommend you watch the movie anyway, it's quite good.
I'm really curious about the eye movie, though I might not like that one so much. I don't know anything about F Troop other than that one clip I saw on Freakazoid, so the jokes would just go whoosh.
-- ® Friend Foundation ® I'd never be jealous of a ten-year-old girl with a full mustache. -Moth366 (AIM on 10/19/05)
The riffs for F Troop were basically 'That's the guy from F Troop'. As for the MST3K movie, I wouldn't be against watching it again, I just don't think it would fit into the series that well. I'll probably change my mind on that several times before I have to watch it, though.
Season One Episode Two: The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy w/Short Radar Men from the Moon Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow The Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Laurence Erhardt
The Short's Plot Synposis: In Chapter One of Radar Men from the Moon, Commando Cody and his allies thwart a train sabotage, find a ray gun and, realzing it's not from earth, set out to the moon. There, they meet Retik, Ruler of the Moon from an underground city. Retik plans to conquer Earth. Will Cody be able to escape?
The Movie's Plot Synposis: This Mexican horror flick features Dr. Krupp, the crazed experimenter who caused trouble in this film's two predecessors, The Aztec Mummy and Curse of the Aztec Mummy. Dr. Krupp is up to his old tricks as he is again trying to trick the Aztec mummy Popoca into leaving his crypt so he can get at the treasure within. This time his scheme entails the invention of the titled tin man which for some reason has light-bulb ears. Also, the robot has a human brain. A battle of near epic proportions ensues when the two monsters collide.
Host Segments:
Segment One (Invention Exchange): Joel came up with the Airbag Helmet, and The Mads invent the Chalk-Man - which simulates a hand on a chalkboard with.. decent results. Afterwards, Forrester and Erhardt are knocked out by a new 'security measure' Forrester came up with. Strangely, neither Crow or Servo appeared during the opening.
Segment Two: Demon Dogs are attacking the SOL. If they aren't gotten rid of soon, they'll destroy the ship. Tom Servo tries to put up a fight against them, but gets peed on because he resembles a fire hydrant.
Segment Three: Enoch, king of the demon dogs, says that he and his demon dogs have come to eat the 'giant dog bone,' or the SOL. As Joel explains the problem to Enoch. Before Enoch can call off the demon dogs, Gypsy eats him.
Segment Four: Crow is dressed up as Enoch so he can get the Demonic Dogs away, but fails miserably at trying to get them away.
Ending Segment: The Demon Dogs are inside the SOL and are attacking Joel and the Bots. Joel comes up with a plan to get rid of them, as he throws a ball out into space for the Demon Dogs to fetch. Too late does Joel realize that fetch mean retrieve and bring back...
Review:
The short itself is boring and mainly a set up for the future serials (which are all shown throughout Season One.)
This movie was far weaker than The Crawling Eye. While The Crawling Eye would be passable to watch on it's own (by MST3K standards), this movie was extremely dull. Honestly, a majority of the movie was just flashbacks. So, 75% of the movie takes place on one set. Unlike Clerks, this didn't work out too well.
What makes this experiment worse is that Joel and the Bots barely say anything. It's bad enough that this movie is just god awful, but when they try that with terrible movies in later seasons, it makes for (arguably) some of the best episodes. Here, it just felt like they were suffering through it with me. Even the host segments are bad by Season One standards. I'd say this is one of (if not THE) weakest episodes of the entire series. 2/10
Favorite Riff: Dr. Krupp to his lackey, as they are parked out the main female character's house at night: "Be still and don't make a noise." Bots and Joel: *makes random noises loudly* - This is kind of a standard riff for Joel and the bots, but here it was one of the few laugh out loud moments.
Tell me when you get to The Brain that Wouldn't Die. Also, TAG.
--
"You dare not look at my explosion? Like some kind of hero?! I'LL KILL YOU!!! ~ Willydahivemind. http://gifninja.com/animatedgifs/120003/phoenixtrio.gif
Season One Episode Three: Mad Monster w/ Short Radar Men From the Moon Part 2 Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Laurence Erhardt
The Short's Plot Synposis: In Part Two of the serial, Commando Cody escapes from Retik's clutches rather easily. He and his allies figure out how to get into Retik's headquarters and steal the ray gun. While the plan works, Moon Men are able to trap Cody and his partner Ted in a cave Then the Moon Men use the ray gun to melt the rock walls and cause molten lava to rush towards the duo. Can they escape?!
The Movie's Plot Synposis: In this mockbuster of Wolf Man, Dr. Lorenzo Cameron (George Zucco), a discredited mad scientist believes he has discovered a way to turn his worker, Petro (Glenn Strange), into a wolf man (by using coyote blood, for some reason.) The experiment is a success. Although Dr. Cameron spouts plans on turning his discovery into a weapon, he instead unleashes his creation on the scientists who had discredited him. The good doctor soon can't control his mad monster, and it threatens to kill everything in his path. Only newspaper reporter Tom Gregory (Johnny Downs) and Lenora (Anne Nagel), may be able to stop the monster. Also, Lenora is the Mad Scientists' hot daughter.
Host Segments:
Segment One (Invention Exchange): Drs. Erhardt and Forrester talk about how they became mad scientists, before we go to the invention exchange. Joel has invented a flame throwing purse known as Hell in a Handbag. The Mads have invented a Thunder Lizard toy that acts as a flame thrower. Again, no bots in the first segment
Segment Two: Tom Servo hits on Joel's blender. When Joel tells him this, Servo tries to hit on Mr. Coffee instead.
Segment Three: Servo and Crow wonder if the Wolf Man is actually eating his prey, or if he just mauls them.
Segment Four: Inspired by the movie Joel tries switching Tom and Crow's bodies.
Ending Segment: Joel (tries to) give ram chips to Crow and Servo for telling him a good thing and bad thing about the movie, though it doesn't exactly work out like he wanted...
Review:
Part Two of RMftM wasn't really that exciting. The shorts for movies don't really get god until about season three.
The main movie was your typical B-movie mockbuster fluff. George Zucco aka Dr. Cameron was entertaining enough to keep the movie from being god awful, at least. The rest of the main cast was pretty dull, though.
The riffs were far better here than the previous two episodes. The guys were still a bit slow on the trigger, but there wasn't as much 'dead' air. as the previous two episodes.. Despite that, the riffs still lack that special something later seasons had, but thus far this has been the best episode I've seen. 6/10
Favorite Riff: *A random hillbilly is off in a swamp at night walking around with a rifle.*
Tom Servo *to the tune of Beverly Hillbillies: Come'n listen to a story about a man named Jed, A poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed, Then one day he was shootin' at some fooooooood--
*The Hillbilly sees the Wolfman*
Joel: And up from the swamp came a big ugly dude.
Servo: Wolfman, that is. Black teeth. Gnarled face. Well, the next thing you know, old Jed's really scared. The kin folks said, "Jed, get away from there!" Said, "My cabin is the place you outta be," So he loaded up his drawers and he told his family...
Joel: Good one, Crow.
Crow *without missing a beat*: I didn't do that, it was Servo!
masterplum: For someone getting into MST3K, I think one of the better episodes to start out on would probably be Prince of Space, Space Mutiny, Santa Claus, Santa Claus Conquers The Martians, or Hobgoblins. If you don't have time to watch a movie, then I'd suggest you watch one of the shorts. Mr. B Natural, A Case of Spring Fever, Hired! Part's One and Two, Johnny at the Fair, or Days of our Year are some of my personal favorites, though most of the shorts are hilarious in their own right. I'm shocked they never did an all-shorts episode of MST3K.
Ace_Killjoy: The Brain That Wouldn't Die, isn't that Mike's first episode? I see which side of that debate you're on =P.
Very impressive project! I remembered about MST3K and decided to watch a lot of em a few years back, I pretty much just downloaded ones that seemed really good, also ones that interested me like Godzilla and Gamera ones, etc.
So I checked out about maybe 30% of em throughout all the seasons, all good stuff, ha and that felt like quite a lot.
Rex Dart, Eskimo spy.
-- One Piece: Pirates with style! -= Metal Gear Solid: Tactical Espionage Action =-
Season One Episode Four: Women of the Prehistoric Planet Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Laurence Erhardt
Plot Synposis: A convoy of human spaceships is returning to their homeworld after a long mission; the mostly Caucasian crew is supplemented with "Centaurans", Human Aliens played by Asian actors with a fittingly tense backstory of racial/imperialistic tension. The tension comes to a head when one ship in the convoy is hijacked by some of the Centaurans aboard and crash lands on the third planet of a distant solar system, killing most of the crew. Nevertheless, the admiral commanding the convoy disobeys orders and turns back to rescue any survivors of the lost ship.
Because of time dilation, the rescue ship only arrives some 20 years after the original ship crashed The crew begins searching the site for any clues to what might have happened, with many falling prey to the dangers of the jungle planet. Meanwhile, one of the Centaurian crew, a girl named Linda, meets Tang, a young man of Centaurian descent and falls in love with him, while discovering another part of the story of the lost ship.
In the end, the admiral has to decide how far he'll go to protect his own, and Linda has to decide where she'll call home.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel has found a couch and decides to redecorate so that if/when he goes back to Earth, he'll have some experience for when he hits the talk-show circuit.
Segment One/Invention Exchange:Joel consumes the brownies, but brownie mix has been off the SoL for months. The Mads invented a food chain called Clay and Lar's Flesh Barn, which serves only raw food. Joel invented toilet paper in a bottle, which is just... toilet paper in a two litter bottle.
Segment Two: Tom and Joel are playing “Joel, This is Your Life” when a Doomsday Device arrives at the SOL. Joel wants to bring it in, but once inside he accidentally starts the self-destruct sequence.
Segment Three: Joel, Crow, and Servo try to disarm the Doomsday Device (known as Isaac Asimov Doomsday Device,) but the included manual is badly translated from a different language (Korean) and only ends up making things worse.
Segment Four: Joel & the Bots are still trying to disarm the Doomsday Device, but they fail and are turned into duplicate Isaac Asimovs.
Ending Segment: Joel & the Bots discover that they can simply remove their Asimov sideburns. They then read letters and announce the winner for the Avocado Man Contest (which technically hadn't happened yet. Read trivia below.) They also read a few more 'fan' letters. Back in Deep 13, Larry sings to Dr. Forrester, whom puts in some earplugs.
Review:
I think the movie could pretty much be summed up as sci-fi Tarzan movie with a hint of an Adam and Eve plot, and a bad plucky comic relief. Oh, and racial tension. Can't forget that!
This is one of the better episodes of the first season. The riffs were a whole better, the timing great, and there was little dead air. 7/10
Favorite Riff:Admiral David King: You can't trust young planets. Female Officer: What do you mean? Joel (as Admiral King): They're lazy and play loud music!
Trivia: This was actually the final episode produced show for the season, but due to some copyright issues with another episode, it was bumped up to a much earlier airtime. This explains why they announced a winner for a contest that they had yet to announce on air.
This episode is also famous for creating the future riff 'Hi-Keeba! Hut', which was a line the bad comic relief did during a pointless bit of exposition.
Chronic1000 posted... Ace_Killjoy: The Brain That Wouldn't Die, isn't that Mike's first episode? I see which side of that debate you're on =P.
I don't know, but it way MY first episode.
Joel was fine, but he sounded stoned half the time.
--
"You dare not look at my explosion? Like some kind of hero?! I'LL KILL YOU!!! ~ Willydahivemind. http://gifninja.com/animatedgifs/120003/phoenixtrio.gif
Bumpage, don't expect many uploads during the weekends. At least, not yet.
Ace_Killjoy: After double-checking, it indeed was Mike's first experiment, so nice coincidence!
I never saw much of the show, until late in the series when it had channel hopped to Sci-Fi, so I never saw many Joel-era episodes until years after the show was canceled. Between the two, I do prefer Mike, but both are great for their own reasons.
Chronic1000 posted... Between the two, I do prefer Mike, but both are great for their own reasons.
I agree with this. Basically, I saw Mike eps first, so that's where my love of the show began. That said, around half of my favorite episodes are Joel episodes.
Actually, one is coming up this season, now that I think about it.
Speaking of this season, after doing a bit of searching, I am unable to find The Crawling Hand (S1E6) and Project Moonbase (S1E9) on Youtube. I've acquired The Crawling Hand another way, but my old computer won't play it <_<.
So... I might have to skip those two episodes, at least for the time being.
Season One Episode Five: The Corpse Vanishes w/ short Radar Men from the Moon Part 3: The Bridge of Death Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Laurence Erhardt
The Short's Plot Synopsis: Cody and Ted narrowly escape the molten lava by using a convenient side tunnel. Returning to their rocket ship, Cody realizes Retik knows where they are, and they escape to Earth. Retik contacts his agents on Earth to try and stop the spaceship before they land. Their plan is foiled, and Retik's agents escape, but not before they plant an explosive on a bridge, and the last thing we see is Cody's vehicle caught in an explosion. Did Cody survive?!
The Movie's Plot Synopsis: Many brides have died at the altar, and their bodies stolen. The only clue is that each bride had a strange smelling orchid. Patrica Hunter, a journalist, is convinced the orchids are key. She is told to meet orchid expert Dr. Lorenz (Bela Lugosi). On her way there, she meets Dr. Foster, who happens to be going to the Lorenz. After getting to the house, a storm sets in, and invites Hunter and Foster to stay the night, much to their reluctance.
That night, Patrica Hunter investigates the house after being startled awake by one of Lorenz' henchmen. She goes to the basement and sees the brides. It turns out that Lorenz is using the brides to make a formula to keep his wife young and beautiful. Back in town, Hunter and informs her editor about these events, though he doesn't exactly believe her. Foster shows up with evidence, and they plan to set up a fake wedding to fool Lorenz. Lorenz isn't fooled, and instead kidnaps Patrica. While preparing for the extraction, the mother of Lorenz's henchmen stabs Lorenz due to him killing her children. Police arrive just in time save Patrica. The movie ends with Patrica marrying Dr. Foster.
Host Segments:
Prologue/Invention Exchange: Dr. Forrester brings Dr. Erhardt a bottle of Isaac Asimov Body Splash from the Mad Scientist Convention. In the Invention Exchange, Joel demonstrates the "Chiro-gyro", which helps with cramps and pains in the head, neck, and pelvis. Clay presents the "Flame Throwing Flower" which will be a better novelty than the water squirting flower. The bots are already in the theater.
Segment One: Tom and Crow read Tiger-Bot magazine, featuring a "dreamy" They aren't as amused with Data when they realize Data wishes to be human, calling it 'Pinnochio Syndrome.'
Segment Two: Joel and the bots play tag.
Segment Three: Crow runs his own barbershop and cuts Joel's hair.
Ending Segment: The Bots say a good and bad thing about the movie in exchange for a RAM chip. Servo short circuits when he can't think of something positive.
Review: This is only the fifth episode, yet the third one where the plot involves a mad scientist. And the second with a bad plucky comic relief. I'm glad this isn't a drinking game.
I like the riffs in this one. It felt like they were getting the timing down better, and there was enough variety in what the riffs were about that it kept the movie entertaining. Not quite as good as the previous episode though. 6/10
I've seen the movie plenty of times, but the last time I saw it was about a year ago.
Also, good news, everyone [/Dr. Farnsworth]! I was able to figure out the problems I was having with the download (didn't have the right codecs), but I got that fixed, and I should have the next episode up tomorrow =D.
Season One Episode Six: The Crawling Hand Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Laurence Erhardt
Plot Synopsis: Steve Curan and Dr. Max Weitzberg (Peter Breck and Kent Taylor, respectively) have been contacted by Captain Mel Lockhart, an astronaut they had previously lost contact with. He begs them to kill him. With little choice, they self-destruct the spaceship. Afte it's discovered near the crash site by Paul Lawrence (Rod Lauren), a young med student and his girlfriend Marta, Lawrence takes it home as a souvenir for some bizarre reason. He's got no idea that the hand has been possessed by a strange, murderous alien who gradually begins to take over the hapless med student. Suddenly people all around town are found mysteriously strangled to death. Can Paul be stopped before it's too late?!
Host Segments:
Prologue: The set has been slightly redecorated (the buttons for movie/commercial sign are now there) and Joel explains his predicament. Magic Voice also debuts
Invention Exchange: Joel invents the Safety Circular Saw, while the Mads invented the Limb Lengthener. Still no bots.
Segment Two: Crow begins to bowl, while Servo does commentary. Joel wants to play a different game, but sine Joel wins everything, they ditch him. Joel tells Cambot next time he makes a robot, no free will.
Segment Three: Joel and the bots do Shatner impressions while being choked by 'crawling hands'.
Segment Four: The Bots don't think a crawling hand is all that scary. Joel tries to explain how they are, but fails. Crow's attacked by a large crawling hand then, though it ends up being Gypsy.
Ending Segment: The Bots get RAM chips for saying a good thing and bad thing about the movie. They then read a letter, and tell fans to keep sending letters. The Mads are fighting
Review: This movie is based on the 'evil hand' trope, though in this case the hand is disembodied and controlled by an alien, instead of being part of a person's body. So, it's more like Ash Campbell's hand, and less like Dr. Strangelove's hand. The movie is pretty dull, but it seems like it at least had something resembling a budget.
Most of the riffs were pretty basic, with lots of hand puns and more than a few riffs based on Alan Hale's role as the Skipper. The host segments wern't exactly A-Grade, either. It's not the worst of the season, but it's still a weak episode. 3.5/10
Season One Episode Seven: Robot Monster w/Short Radar Men from the Moon Chapter 4: Flight of Destruction AND Chapter 5: Murder Car Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Laurence Erhardt
The Shorts Plot Synopsis (Synopsi?): After surving the bomb on the bridge (cliffhanger copout), Cody informs US Officials about Retik's plans. Retik's henchmen and thugs are discussing their need of money for a truck to hold the atomic ray gun. Retik tells them to kidnap Cody for the ransom money, but they instead go for his assistant Joan. The thug grabs a plane and flies away, but Cody is able to reach the plane while still in the air. The thug destroys the controls, and leaves Joan behind. Can Commando Cody save them both?!
Commando Cody is unable to stop the plane, but the thug left a parachute behind (cliffhanger copout) while Cody flies away chasing the thug. The thugs are able to keep Cody subdue (for now.) The thugs do another robbery, but things go awry, and one of the thugs are killed. The henchmen plan to rescue the second thug, to much success. The thugs use the ambulance to drive Cody and his partner Ted off the road. Did Cody and Ted survive?!
The Movie's Plot Synopsis: A boy named Johnny, who is fascinated with outer space, is on a picnic with his family, when he meets a pair of archeologists exploring a nearby cave. Later, Johnny dreams that the Earth has been attacked by a half gorilla, half deep sea diver alien named Ro-Man Ro-Man, using the "calcinator death ray," kills everyone but Johnny, his family and one of the scientist. They try to evade Ro-Man, but several members of the family are killed. Ro-Man is destroyed by his controllers when he decides he'd rather experience human emotions than kill them. Johnny wakes up and is relieved it was all just a dream. OR WAS IT?!
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel explains the show, while the Magic Voice counts down to commercial sign.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Joel does repairs to Gypsy, then gives Gypsy a Ramchip. The Mads have invented the methane filled whoopie cushing (which becomes a flamethrowers when someone sits on it.) Joel+Bots invents the Cumber-Bubble Bund. It's an automatic bubble blower.
Segment Two: Joel and the bot discuss the laws of phyics and how unlikely it was for Commando Cody to gain enough speed to catch a plane. then Servo, Crow, and Cambot short circuit when he asks each one how bumblebees can fly.
Segment Three: Crow tells Tom (or Ro-Tom) to kill Joel. Joel hits Servo with a chair, thinking he had gone insane. After Joel apologizes to Tom, he hits Tom again with a chair.
Segment Four: Joel discusses surrealism with the bots, as Cambot goes all woozy.
Ending Segment: Joel and the Bots wear garbage bags and discuss the movie. Dr. Forrester wonders if they sent the strangest man they could into space.
Review:
The movie serial was getting pretty bad at this point, and I'm glad they decided to do more standalone shorts in future episodes.
This movie is considered one of the worst movies ever made. I agree. about 20% of the movie is stock footage, there's about six actors in total (if you want to call them that.) The thing that makes this terrible is definitely 'Ro-Man' who looks so ****ing ridiculous. The damn polar bear from Santa Claus Conquers The Martians looks more real than that!
This movie really doesn't need riffing. It's so bad that it's enjoyable by itself. Joel and the Bot's just add to the silliness. The riffs were pretty good though, as well as pretty consistent, with little dead air. Of the three, it feels like Weinstein (Servo) was the strongest of the three when it came to riffs, or he had the best riffs, one. This is definitely one of the 'must watches' of Season One.. 8/10
Favorite Riffs (Short):
*after showing footage not seen in chapter three (Cody escaping the car just before the bomb goes off*
Joel: Hey! That scene wasn't in last time.
Crow: That's because they didn't get the film back from the drugstore yet.
Servo: Upon further review, the refs fine that Cody is dead. The play stands. Cody is dead.
*Retik's Henchmen (Moon) and Retik's thug (Earthling) discuss their low funds
Retik Henchman: You would be wise to continue to obey my orders. Your recent activites would be of extreme interest to the authorites.
Servo (as Retik Thug): Oh, who's going to report me, you Mr. Moon Man?
*As one of Cody's scientist assistances beat holds his own against Retik's thugs*
Servo: It's a good thing scientists can fight, they must be taken classes.
*after Servo sneezes*
Joel: Oh bless you! <beat> You're not supposed to do that...
*Retik's thug flies a plane and shoots at Commando Cody at the same time*
Joel: Wow, he can fly and shoot at the same time? He must be ambidextrous.
Crow: I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous...
*After Crow and Tom try to (and fail) to escape from the second short*
Joel I'm surrounded by idiots of my own design!
*After Commando Cody has a third straight cliffhanger copout*
Joel: I'm beginning to think these endings are rigged....
*One of Retk's thugs holds up an ambulance driver (who's dressed as a ice cream truck driver*
Crow (as Thug): Alright, give me a snowcone and two bon pops!
Servo: I'm wearing white though! That's not good humor.
Favorite Riffs (Movie):
*during the acid dream sequence, two 'lizards' attack each other*
Crow: It's gecko-roman wrestling!
*Ro-Man talks to the remaining humans*
Ro-Man: Due to an error in calculation, there are still a few of you left!
Joel (as Ro-Man): I sincerely apologize for any inconveince this may have caused you
*Two of the main characters, Alice and Roy argue*
Alice: If only I had a decent assistant who wasn't so bossy.
Roy: I'm bossy? You're so bossy that you should be milked before you come home at night.
Joel: Dibs!
*Johnny confronts Ro-Man instead of his sister Alice*
Johnny: I wanna know what you have against me!
Crow (as Ro-Man): Your voice, for starters.
*During Alice and Roy's wedding, Roy doesn't have the ring Selena, alice's mother gives her her ring.*
Selena: I wanted you to have it somedays, anyways.
Crow: I was gonna sell it, but everybody else was dead.
*After Ro-Man knocks out Roy and takes Alice away*
Servo (as Ro-Man): "I got the girl! I got the girl! Oh happy day! I will love her and pet her and hug her and squeeze her and I will call her Georgette."
*At the very end of the film, as 'three' Ro-Men come out of the cave*
Robot Monster is, to me, probably the first really good episode of season one, if you go by the order they shot them. Women of the Prehistoric Planet was already mentioned, and is one of the better episodes of the season, but was actually the last episode of the season to be shot.
Punch_Sideiron: Wait, isn't your name a reference to Space Mutiny? If so ^5. Anyways, yeah I made that note that when I reviewed the episode. Thus far, they have been the best two episodes of the season.
Rad Link 5: It's definitely an awesome project to get into if you got the time to watch each episode. I'm not sure how much of the show itself you've watch, but the show doesn't 'grow the beard' until about Season Three or so. Though as I stated before, there are some good episodes in the first two seasons.
Also, don't expect a Turkey Day episode. As much as MST3K is intertwined with that holiday, I got to spend most of it cooking, eating, watching football, or downloading episode nine.
Chronic1000 posted... Punch_Sideiron: Wait, isn't your name a reference to Space Mutiny? If so ^5. Anyways, yeah I made that note that when I reviewed the episode. Thus far, they have been the best two episodes of the season.
Yep, it sure is. And I see that note in the review now. Somehow, I completely missed the trivia section when I read that post before.
That's a tough one. There isn't a single episode of this show I don't love (I'm one of those crazy people who even likes Hamlet). My favorites change constantly, but here's a list, just pulling them off the top of my head. The Mike and Joel lists would probably be different every time, but the shorts list is probably more consistent. Here we go:
Mike:
Zombie Nightmare San Francisco International Riding With Death Werewolf Final Sacrifice
Joel:
Star Force: Fugitive Alien II Master Ninja Attack Of The Eye Creatures The Day The Earth Froze Operation Double 007
Shorts:
Home Economics Story Hired! part 2 Is This Love? Last Clear Chance Once Upon A Honeymoon
That's a pretty good list. As I stated before, I haven't seen that many Comedy Central-era episodes, so I really can't make a decent top five list of Joel's run. My top five Mike episodes will be mostly Sci-Fi era, though. I've seen a lot of shorts, so that'll be a bit more varied. If any other fans want to share their own top fives, go ahead!
Mike:
Time Chasers Squirm Santa Claus The Touch of Satan Jack Frost
Shorts:
A Date with Your Family Johnny at the Fair Days of our Years Keeping Clean and Neat Hired Pts. 1 and 2 (Yeah, I know I said five, but technically speaking Hired was just one twenty minute short cut in half.)
Season One Episode Eight:The Slime People w/short Radar Men from the Moon Chapter 6: Hills of Death Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Laurence Erhardt
The Short's Plot Synopsis: Cody and Ted survive the head on collision by jumping out of their car in time (cliffhanger copout.) Retik tells Krog, his Moon Man on Earth, to use an atomic bomb in a volcano. This creates floods and heavy rains. Cody finds a matchbox for a local diner, and he and Ted go investigate. While their, Retik's Thugs show up and a fight ensues. After capturing Ted, Ted is able to escape. Ted finds a payphone and calls Cody to tell him where he can find the Thugs. Once Cody gets there, one of the thugs uses a large rock to apparently knock Cody off a cliff to his doom. Will Cody survive?!
The Movie's Plot Synopsis: Tom Gregory, a sports boardcaster, has difficulty flying though a strange fog in his personal plane. Once through it (and to the airport) he realizes it has been abandoned. He meets up with Professor Galvin and his two daughters Bonnie and Lisa, who tell him that Slime People have crawled out of the sewers and are trying to make the surface their new home. Along the way they meet up with Calvin (Cal) Johnson, a marine who's was abandoned by his platoon and had survived to this point. Soon, Cal and Bonnie, along with Lisa and Tom grow closer together. They also pick up another man, Thomas Toliver, a bizarre writer with a fondness of goats. The group tries to find solace in a butcher shop, but the Slime People quickly dispose of Toliver. Galvin realizes that salt is the weakness to the creatures, but shortly thereafter Bonnie is captured, though she is safely saved. With little choice, the five remaining people attack The Slime People and the wall. Will they survive?!
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel and Servo aren't morning people (or bots) while Crow is. Joel describes the premise of the series.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Joel hustles money from the bots. Joel also invented the Cartoon Eyeglasses, while the Mads invented Screaming Cotton Candy.
Segment Two: Joel and the Bots (JatB for short) take Commando Cody to court, as they believe he's been breaking the laws of physics.
Segment Three: JatB's talk about how stupid the movie is, before Servo starts describing the premise of MST3K, except that they're on an island, instead of a rocketship.
Segment Four: The bots fill the Satellite of Love with lots of thick fog to trick Joel, before they talk about the absurdness that Slime People can make a solid wall out of fog, but still got nothing better than a few spears as weapons.
Ending Segment: Joel bakes a pie for the robots, then reads a letter Bizarrely, the letter asks for them to show an address for them to right to. Er.. how did they get the letter then?
Review:
This was your typical Commando Cody short. Nothing too special.
Hmm, a bad horror movie where the lead actor also happens to be the director. Where have I seen THAT one before? A non-horror movie, with bizarre relationships popping up, an odd man with an affinty to goats, and dumb monsters. How is it a gun can't defeat them, yet a spear with salt on it can? Also, who thought it was a good to have fog everywhere? Half the time, you can't even tell what's going on.
The riffing is pretty decent for this episode, though not the strongest of the season. The short in particular had some of the best riffing thus far in Season One. The movie's riffing was okay, but it's kinda hard to riff a movie that you can barely see. The Segments were okay, though the Invention Exchange was kinda dumb. 5.5/10
Favorite Riffs (Short): *Retik's thugs bring in payrolls for Krog*
Retik Thug: Here's the payroll.
Joel (as Krog): I said jellyroll, not payroll!
*Krog gives Retik's thugs an absurdly small atomic bomb.*
Crow: It's right over here by the toaster oven.
Servo: This one's called the Baby Boy.
*Cody walks in on Ted and Joan talking about the volcano eruption set off by the atomic bomb.*
Crow (as Cody): Finally I come in and you're not fighting anybody.
*Cody and Ted investigate Al's Cafe*
Al: Yeah, they come in pretty often, though I don't know their names or anything about them.
Cody: Well if they show up, I wish you'd call me.
Crow (as Al): Sure I'll call you. I got nothing else going on in my miserable life than call you.
*Cody flies through the air, then looks down at the ground*
Joel (as Cody): *excited* Hey wait a minute, I'm flying!
Favorite Riffs (Movie): *A Slime Person appears on the surface*
Joel: Hi, I'm a Slime Person, and this is our story. Come along with me. Sure, we're not much to look at, but we's good people.
*A corpse has a spear sticking out of it's back*
Servo: Corpse Kebab.
*Tom Gregory tries to contact Air Control while he flies through heavy fog.*
Gregory: LA Control, come in LA. Do you read me?
Servo: Oh he's in LA. That explains the bad air.
Joel: Why is he talking into a shaver?
*Gregory tries to contact someone on a payphone*
Servo (As Gregory, sobbing): Mom? Mom, it's me. They won't fill up my tank, mom...
Joel (As Gregory's 'Mom'): Now listen son, you can't call me everytime you get a little ripple in your fantasy world. You're 45 years old! You got to live your own life. When are you going to realize and when are you going to learn that you got to live on your own and stuff will take care of itself. You gotta realize this and I won't carry on anymore...
Servo (As Gregory): Sorry mom...
Profesor Galvin: Now, we've all known that there is fish in the ocean, haven't we?
Joel: No, that's a little farfetched for me.
*Professor Galvin pulls a spear from a wrecked car*
Crow: Wow, the dipstick on this thing is enormous!
Calvin Johnson: Oh by the way, I'm Calvin Johnson.
All Three: So what?
*Galvin and Cal are moving around the mountains while heavy fog is everywhere*
Crow: Hey Joel, are they in the Smoky Mountains?
Joel: No..
Crow: On top of Ol' Smokey?
Joel: Nope.
Servo: Smack'em, Joel.
*After Toliver is dead*
Gregory:Every calm down. Fear killed Toliver!
Servo: I thoughti t was the big guys in the costumes.
*A Slime Person tries entering the meat freezer*
Crow: Would you like a copy of the Watch Tower?
*Galvin throws a Spear at the machine controlling the fog, which cause an explosion for some reason*
Time Chasers Squirm Santa Claus The Touch of Satan Jack Frost
Shorts:
A Date with Your Family Johnny at the Fair Days of our Years Keeping Clean and Neat Hired Pts. 1 and 2 (Yeah, I know I said five, but technically speaking Hired was just one twenty minute short cut in half.)
Every episode you listed is a great one. Time Chasers and Jack Frost especially could find themselves in my top five at any time.
Your shorts list is basically what the second half of my list would have looked like if I had extended mine to 10.
The riffing in this episode was at a higher quantity than past episodes. The negative is that not all the riffs were great. There were some laughs here and there and little dead air, but the riffs weren't exactly the hilarious one liners I'd expect from later episodes. They were more based on a premise and a punch-line, or visual gags. This isn't a bad episode, and by Season One standards is actually good, so for that I give it a 6/10
Favorite Riffs (Shorts): *Cody tells Ted and Joan about his near death from the cliff in his lab.*
Joan: Well, where are we now?
Crow: Look around lady, you're in your lab.
*During a fight with between Retik's Thugs Graber and Daly and Cody and a mechaniv. Joel stands up and holds up a few signs like 'POW' and OOF*
Joel: This is a little thing I made, I knew we'd use them some time. Pretty neat huh?
*After Graber and Daly blow up the plane*
Servo: Well, that's the end. No way they could've gotten out of that. Next week they'll just give us a new character.
*shows an outside shot of Cody Labrotoray*
Crow: Meanwhile, back at Cody Institute of Deceptive Editing...
*As Cody and his crew are going back to the moon*
Joel: Have you guys ever seen a barrel roll?
*A loud farting-like sound is heard*
Servo: Oh, I'm not sorry for that one at all. That felt wonderful! *starts choking* I shouldn't have done that in a pressure suit. *coughs*
Favorite Riffs (Movie): *Mr. Roundtree sits down and talks into a communicator thing*
Roundtree: Roundtree here.
Joel: Joel here.
Servo: Servo here.
Crow: Crow here.
Roundtree: (to a lackey) You keep your ear glue that the receiver until you are relieved.
Crow (As lackey): Can you send for solvent at the end of my shift?
*General Greene details the mission*
Greene: (pointing to the 'space station' which is for some reason very flat) Now that we got a space station...
Servo (as Greene): or Frisbee..
Greene: (holding a miniature 'spaceship') ... It is now possible to send a ship...
All: Or batteries...
Green: All the way around the moon.
All: Or playground ball...
Greene: Dr. Werhner....
All: Or double.
Greene: will photograph the moon, and you all will return to the space station.
All: Or Frisbee.
*Polly Prattles, a journalist, is listening to the General's plans*
Prattles: I wonder General, can you tell me about this wonderful space station?
Joel: Let me help you with that *holds up cue cards*
Greene: I can give you a rough idea.
*Greene gives off some techno-babble as Joel gets rid of several cue cards*
Servo (as Prattles): That was very good, General!
*Colonel Briteis tries to contact SPACOM*
Briteis: Magelian to SPACOM, do you read?
Moore: Can you get it to work?
Briteis: I'm afraid not. I've been trying for five hours, and I've got nothing.
Servo (as Moore): Maybe I should've pointed it towards Earth.
*General Greene gives orders to Moore and Briteis*
Season One Episode Nine: Project Moon Base w/short Radar Men from the Moon Chapter 7 and 8: Camouflaged Destruction and Enemy Planent Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Laurence Erhardt
The Short's Plot Synopsis: In Chapter Seven, Cody survives the cliff fall by... activating his rocket suit (literal cliffhanger copout.) The evil henchmen Graber and Daly get away. They are able to get the ray gun on the camouflaged truck and are ready to wreak more havoc. Cody sets off to find the truck, while Ted flies a plane, prepared to drop bombs on the truck when Cody finds it. Once Cody spots the truck, he boards Ted's plane. Graber and Daly stop the truck, activate the ray gun and shoot the plane down.
Cody and Ted narrowly escape the plane in time (cliffhanger copout.) Cody and his allies discuss how to successfully defend Earth from the ray guns. They decided to build their own, but in order to do so, they need the moon element 'lunarium.' Cody and his crew take the rocket ship back to the moon, where Cody captures one of Retik’s underlings and forces him to spill where the lunarium is stored. Cody and Ted blast into a vault and remove the essential element using a tank from the moon. As the two men make their way to the ship, they are chased by moon men in their own moon tank. After a brief firefight, Cody and Ted are disabled in the tank.
The Movie's Plot Synopsis: Set in a future 1970, the United States is considering building bases on the Moon. Colonel Briteis (Donna Martell), Major Bill Moore (Ross Ford), and Doctor Wernher (Larry Johns) are sent to orbit the Moon to survey landing sites for lunar missions. However, the real Dr. Wernher is replaced by an impostor to destroy the Earth-orbiting space station. While in space, Wernher inadvertently gives his identity away. In the ensuing struggle for the control of the rocket, Col. Briteis makes an emergency landing on the Moon. Dr. Wernher redeems himself and helps establish communications with Earth, although he later dies. Once back in contact with the astronauts, The US authorities make the spaceship the core of a new moon base. General Greene (Hayden Rorke), asks Moore to proposing to Briteis (so as not to have an unmarried male and female astronaut alone in close quarters for weeks). Briteis accepts, but wants Major Moore to be promoted to Brigadier General so that he will outrank her. They also talk to the President, who is a woman.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel has just got done cleaning up the bots, and explains the premise of the show.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: JatB are playing Pictionary. Joel has invented Water Juggling. The Mads invented Insect-a-Sketch.
Segment Two: Tom pretends to be Commando Cody as 'Ted' flies him around. Crow is Krog, but wants to be Commando Cody.
Segment Three: Joel talks about the 'futuristic' neckties in the movie, as well as 'future' neckties.
Segment Four: An 'infomercial' for the amazing all-purpose mystery substance SPACOM, which is named after the USSF Spacom station.. Thing.
Ending Segment: Crow and Tom (upside down) read three letters.
Review:
Standard movie serial shorts, nothing too special.
The movie's supposed to be 'progressive' because it has a female Colonel (and a female President), but considering Colonel Briteis was promoted 'only' because of the weight restrictions due to going into space, the General Greene from the start never really treats her with respect (he even threatens to spank her at one point.) Despite that, this felt like a pretty standard 50's sci-fi movie, even though this movie was cobbled together from a failed TV series.
Season One Episode Ten: Robot Holocaust w/short Radar Men From The Moon Chapter 9: Battle in the Stratosphere (Partially) Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Laurence Erhardt
The Short's Plot Synopsis: Despite being disabled in the tank, Cody and Ted manage to escape back onto the ship... But before anything else is resolved, the short breaks.
The Movie's Plot Synopsis: Neo, a drifter from the atomic-blasted wastelands, and his klutzy robot sidekick Klyton arrive at a factory where slaves labor to fuel the Dark One's Power Station. He meets a woman named Deeja, who has had her father kidnapped by Valaria, an evil woman with a funny accent who works for T he Dark One. She convinces him to help rescue her father, a scientist who invented a device that can break the Dark One's control over the factory slaves. Gathering a motley crew of allies, including a knock off C3P0, a Conan The Barbarian wanna-be who can't speak, and an Amazon, they make their way to the Power Station where they confront the Dark One's evil servants.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel welcomes us to the show, and briefly explains the show, before they break out in a blues song. Joel is 'hu-man'
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Joel invents a Bon- er, Nitro Burning Funny Pipe. A Monster truck looking... Bong. The Mads invent the Ski Mask of the Future. It has articulated eyebrows.
Segment Two: The bots pretend they’re in the “We Zone” and they order Joel to do tricks
Segment Three: JatB pretend to be in a sitcom, but Cambot’s sitcom simulator malfunctions, resulting in random bursts of laughter from the laugh track
Segment Four: JatBs act like characters from the movie. Tom is totally into it, but Crow and Joel don't really care too much.
Ending Segment: Joel shows us a frame of Jorn the new Avacado Man. They are starting a contest for naming the Avacado Science Guy. I guess we finally got the start of the contest that (somehow) we got the answer to back in Episode Four. They then read a letter.
Review:
Not much to say the short. Just that I'm glad I don't have to see any more of them.
This movie is insane. Somehow, there is a rip-off of Conan The Barbarian AND C-3PO in the exact same movie. The main female antagonist easily has the strangest accent ever uttered. The main good guy seems more useless than anything. The riffing was actually pretty good here and there, so that at least made it entertaining. The Host Segments weren't all that hot, though. If you're a fan of post-apocalyptic Z-movies, then this is the movie for you! I really wouldn't really recommend it unless you've seen your fair share of experiments. 5.5/10
Trivia: Most of the music in this film was actually used in Laserblast. The reason being is that the producer of both films just recycled the movie. Another thing to note is that the director of this film, Tim Kincaid, actually filmed gay porn. That might explain the fight scene at the very beginning.
Season One Episode Eleven: Moon Zero Two Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Laurence Erhardt
Plot Synopsis: In the year 2021 the moon is in the process of being colonized, and this new frontier is attracting a diverse group of people to these moon settlements. Two such people are notorious millionaire J. J. Hubbard (no relation to L. Ron), and former astronaut Bill Kemp. Kemp, the first man to set foot on Mars, has left the Space Corporation because he wants to do space exploration, while Space Corp. only wants commercial passenger flights to Mars and Venus.
When Hubbard hears that a 6000-tonne asteroid made of pure sapphire is orbiting close to the moon, he hires Kemp to capture it using Kemp's old "Moon 02" space ferry and bring it down to the lunar farside. This however is against the law. Kemp though has little choice since he has learned that his flight license will be revoked due to protests from the Corp. Hubbard reveals that he plans to use the sapphire as a rocket engine thermal insulator. His plan is to build more powerful rockets capable of finally colonizing Mercury and the moons of Jupiter, all for profit.
Meanwhile a young woman, Clementine Taplin, arrives looking for her brother, a miner with a claim on the farside of the moon. Unfortunately, once Kemp finally agrees to help her, we discover Hubbard murdered her brother and planned to use his claim so he could land the asteroid. Kemp and Hubbard then fight, with Kemp winning and getting the girl.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel briefly explains the show premise, then tells us that if we're going to get a snack during the commercial, get a snack for him.
Segment One/Invention Exchange:Joel has invented the Drive-By Food, which means food is directly teleported to your stomach. The Mads have invented Mouth to Mouth Celebrity Toothpaste. Larry's hair has a life of it's own during the Invention Exchange, for some reason.
Segment Two: Joel and the bots put on a reenactment about the first moon landing. Crow was Neil Armstrong. Joel was Buzz Aldrein and JFK. Servo was Michael Collins.
Segment Three: JatB talk about games set in space. Hilariously, they make a Risk joke about it being set in space, something they actually made. This is all made by the joke Moonopoly in the game.
Segment Four: Crow and Tom argue about which woman in the movie is more attractive. Joel makes them fight it out in zero gravity like in the movie.
Ending Segment: Joel has the bots name good things and bad things about the movie for Ram chips. Joel then reads a letter.
Review: The movie sorta reminds me of Barberella, only without naked Jane Fonda and with Western motifs. The soundtrack is completely inappropriate for a Space Flick, the outfits are crazy, and the main villain feels like your typical Bond Villain. Despite that, there was a budget involved, and while the movie's theory on space is very dated (Technology Marches On) it isn't as outlandish as other B-Movie Space Flicks of the time. At the very least, they tried to make it somewhat believable.
The riffing in this movie was pretty good for Season One. It felt as though they were really getting in the groove of riffing these movies (or at least in the grooev of riffing B-Space flicks.) The riffing doesn't get very sparse, so that was good. The Host Segments weren't too great, but it doesn't hurt the movie. 7/10
Favorite Riffs: *In the opening cartoon a US Astronaut and a Cosmonaut are fighting on the moon. All this while the opening credits roll*
Servo: He's beating the title out of him!
Joel (as Kemp): *After the opening credits* Uh Houston, I just spotted an animated cartoon on the moon. Come in.
*Looking at the astronaut's gloved hand*
Servo: I think that's the Nintendo Power Glove there.
*On the inappropriate soundtrack*
Servo: Seems like a waste of cargo space to bring a conga band.
*Space Captain to his 2nd Officer*
Space Captain: I thought you were helping our passengers through customs?
2nd Officer: I was just telling this man..
Space Captain: You can't tell this man anything about anything.
Crow (As Space Captain: But feel free to tell him something about nothing or a little about alot.
*The Space Captain watches as Bill undresses and gets in the shower, then leaves after he walks in*
Crow (as Space Captain): I'm going to get the rest of your shower door!
*Clementine walks in on Kemp just after he gets out of the shower. She is looking for him, yet she won't go away. After a few seconds of awkwardness..*
Clementine: Are you Captain Kemp?
Kemp *still nude*: Will you go away?
Crow (As Kemp): Look at my stripes! Of course I'm Captain Kemp!
*The camera pans across the moon's surface, which bizarrely has several mounds paired together*
Servo: In the future, bras will grow on the moon. Cross my heart.
Crow: Hey it's the original Space Mountain! What do you know. And the line is still long.
*Korminski, Kemp's engineer, talks on a phone.*
Korminski: Yes, this time we can pay the bill, ho-kay?
All: Ho-kay Mr. Fawlty.
Crow: In space, no one can hear you yawn.
*Kemp talks to Clementine about how to get her to her brother's claim.*
Kemp: I couldn't land on his claim.
Servo: It would hurt.
Kemp: If I'm going to sit down here and thump Number 3 again...