Season One Episode Twelve: Untamed Youth Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Laurence Erhardt
Plot Synopsis: Penny and Jane Lowe are arrested for hitchhiking and skinny dipping and decide instead of goign to jail to work on a rural farm for a month. The owner of the farm, Russ Tropp, is a corrupt agricultural magnate that uses the prisoners for cheap labor, something the judge who sentenced the sisters to (and is secretly married to Tropp) doesn't fully know how harsh it is there. That is, until her son is hired to work at the farm and uncovers the scam. Through dating the judge, Tropp is able to get a stable workforce while keeping wages low, and giving him an edge over his competition. The judge's son falls in love with Jane, while Penny wants to make the big time. Will they escape before... their sentences are up?!
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel welcomes us to the SoL, while he checks on Tom. Joel discovers a "computer virus" (or "magnetic tape worm" according to Crow).
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Joel invented a "neverlight pipe" with a sprinkler system activated by a smoke detector which puts itself out whenever you try to light up. The Mads have realized that children adore puppets and putting things in their mouths, so they invented "tongue puppets". The Mads are happy to have invented the 'most unsanitary invention.'
Segment Two: Joel and the bots present their tribute to TV's Greg Brady, since one of the females bizarrely looked at Barry Williams.
Segment Three: Joel sets up Gypsy so that we can see what she thinks. Inside of her is Richard Basehart, and RAM Chips
Segment Four: After Joel brought Gypsy in the theater and had her make some synthetic cotton, Gypsy can't stop coughing it up. Servo has Gypsy throw up several things, including a brand new Tom Servo. Huh, guess that's where that starts.
Ending Segment: Joel and the bots try to comprehend the goofy nerdy guy who couldn't dance in the movie. Then they read some letters.
Review: A basic 50's teen flick, with most of the film centered around on Mamie Van Doren's 'talent'. I'd prefer Janes Mansfield, myself. More of chance to see said 'talent'... Er, what was I saying? Oh, B-Movie goodness that the good guys win at the end.
The riffs were okay, nothing too special. There was some dead air here and there, but I enjoyed most of the riffs. The host segments were okay by Season One standards, though nothing too memorable. Overall, I'd give this a 6.5/10
Favorite Riffs: *Judge Cecilia Steele gives sentences the sisters*
Judge Steele: Hitching hiking might not be considered a serious offense to you, but there have been two murders involving hitching hiking in the last seven months.
Crow: And I committed both of them.
*Sheriff Bowers talks to Tropp*
Bowers: Well, some more crows to follow the big red machine.
Servo: What the hell does that mean?
*Some random characters starts singing while picking cotton*
Singer: You ain't going to make a cotton picker out of me...
Joel: You know the acoustics in that field are fantastic.
Crow: Well they sure ain't going to amke a singer out of him.
Singer: You can make me sing, make me dance, make me rock right outta my pants...
Joel: Yikes. You know interesting enough this scence was included in the film Scared Straight.
*Tropp is talking to Judge Steele about his plans and how he's making so much on his farm*
Tropp: Who else has cotton pickers at 75 cents a day?
Servo: The Jolly Green Giant does.
Tropp: There's going to be a lot of cotton to plow and not a lot of help to pick it, but not on my place. I'm going to have a monopoly.
Crow (as Tropp): Boardwalk, Park Place. Think of it. And I'm using the shoe...
*Penny Lowe is standing right next to a jukebox*
Servo: Nice set.
Crow: And nice radio, too.
*Judge and Tropp are kissing in a car*
Judge Steele: Oh Russ you're wonderful.
Servo (as Tropp): Thanks, grandma.
*Bob Steele uses the reaper very close to the workers*
Crow: Wow, some kids just have bikes.
Servo: Reaper Man
Joel: Watch as this modern technology rips through this field of teenagers.
Season One Episode Thirteen: The Black Scorpion Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Dr. Laurence Erhardt
Plot Synopsis: In Mexico (not WCW, thankfully) an earthquake hits. The resulting shocks create a new volcano overnight. Geologists Dr. Hank Scott and Dr. Arturo Ramos are sent to study this phenomenon. The two men discover a destroyed house, where they find a dead policeman nearby, as well as an abandoned infant. After finding it's children in San Lorenzo, they meet up with a priest, Father Delgado. Turns out that there are missing villagers and livestock. The locals are blaming the disappearances to a demon bull.
Despite this detour, Ramos and Scott head back to the site and do geological surveys. The Mexican Army arrives headed by Major Cosio to being disaster relief efforts. While at San Lorenzo, Scott falls for a rancher named Teresa Alvarez. The volcano erupts and it is revealed the true culprits are prehistoric scorpions. The scorpions soon attack San Lorenzo, and the weaponary Major Cosio has is not affecting them. Entomologist Dr. Velasco is brought in the help with the situation, and it is up to him, Scott, and Ramos to solve the problem before San Lorenzo is destroyed.
Host Segments:
Prologue: The Bots throw a party, for Joel. Joel meanwhile briefly explains the premise of the show.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: A lab accident with a "cold fusion Walkman" mutated Dr. Erhardt an alien-type creature, while Dr. Forrester becomes a skeleton. Joel makes a giant party favor, as does the Mads.
Segment Two: JatB try to speak Spanish as a tribute to Mexico, but don't do too well...
Segment Three: Crow and Tom discuss human nature, unaware that Gypsy has become a scorpion monster
Segment Four: Crow and Tom put on a puppet show and discuss stop-motion animation
Ending Segment: JatB read fan letters. The Mads are still mutated.
Review: A 50's B-Movie horror flick, with a Mexican twist. The good news is that the special effects are really good, but considering Willis O'Brien worked on the film, that is a no-brainer. The acting is eh, and the plot a bit of a cliche storm. Nothing too impressive or bad.
By Season One standards, the riffing was good, but not great. The third host segment was pretty funny, but the rest weren't too good. The Invention Exchange seemed like they were just phoning it in. Overall, okay ender for the season, though the real Season Finale was better. 6/10
With that done, Season One is officially over! As you all know, J. Elvis Weinstein (Tom Servo/Dr. Erhardt) left the show between the first and second seasons. Apparently, he felt the show had become less fun and more like work once they switched to actually writing the shows out ahead of time. Considering he wasn't even twenty when he started, I think his young age had something to do with his departure as well. As a riffer, he was actually pretty good. He had plenty great riffs and a good timing. It's kinda hard to gauge him by the first season, since the show wasn't quite where we all know and love it at.
Here's my rankings of the episodes in order from best to worst.
Season One: 1. Robot Monster: 8/10 2. Women of the Prehistoric Planet: 7/10 3. Moon Zero Two: 7/10 4. Untamed Youth: 6.5/10 5. Mad Monster: 6/10 6. The Corpse Vanishes: 6/10 7. Project Moon Base: 6/10 8. The Black Scorpion: 6/10 9. The Slime People: 5.5/10 10. Robot Holocaust: 5.5/10 11. The Crawling Eye: 5/10 12. The Crawling Hand 3.5/10 13. The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy: 2/10
The only Season One episode I had seen before I began this topic was the very first episode (The Crawling Eye,) and that was about four years ago. So, most of my reactions are based solely on first time viewings.
Season Two Episode One: Rocketship X-M Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester, Frank w/Assistants Gerry and Sylvia
Plot Synopsis: Five scientists, four men and one woman, blast into space aboard the Rocketship Expedition Moon (or RXM) on the first expedition to the Moon. Partway to their destination, the ship's engines shut down due to fuel problems. Solving the problems, the engines are reignited and the RXM tears off on a new direction, directly towards Mars. Regaining consciousness after a short burst of acceleration, the crew finds the ship has traveled about 50,000,000 miles. Mars is now only 50,000 miles away.
The RXM passes through the atmosphere and lands on the planet. There they find evidence of a once-powerful civilization. A long time ago there had been a planetary nuclear war. They meet a modern descendant of the civilization: a mute woman with enormous black pupils. She is pursued by savage cavemen, who attack the team by throwing boulders at them. Armed only with a rifle and revolver, the astronauts hit no one and two of them are killed and one injured by the flying rocks.
On the return voyage to Earth, the RXM makes it back but doesn't have enough fuel to land. The surviving crew members contact their base by radio and pass on the information about Mars and the destruction of the civilization there. The ship crashes in Nova Scotia. The press is informed that the crew has perished, but a new ship, the RXM-2 will be built to continue the exploration of space.
Host Segments:
Prologue: The SOL now has a redesigned bridge. Joel is working on his robot buddies. Crow has a toothache (at least thinks he does) and Tom's voice is undergoing renovation.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Servo's new voice is heard after a few tweaks. Dr. Forrester's new assistant Frank is introduced (Dr. Erhardt is missing). Frank take JatB's orders and is ready to bring them in, but Forrester stops him. Joel's invention is the BGC-19, a mobile drum kit. Frank, responsible for the Mads' invention, invents the... BGC-19. Forrester punishes Frank. The bots are in the theater when Joel enters.
Segment Two: Joel and the Bots salute the unsung heroes: the Reporters of Rocketship X-M. Each reporter gets a silly name.
Segment Three: Joel lectures the ‘Bots on Selective Gravity and quizzes them on which objects are funny or not funny under the influence of Selective Gravity.
Segment Four: JatB are feeling a little lost in thought, quoting songs, books, and movies, when they are visited by Valeria from Robot Holocaust (played by Michael J. Nelson) on the Hexfield Viewscreen.
Ending Segment: Joel and the Bots scold the Mads on the inappropriateness of the movies subject. Dr. Forrester couldn't get Marooned though! They show a few letters. Dr. Forrester shows Frank how to “Push the Button”.
Review:
This movie is a mockbuster of Destination Moon, as it was filmed to steal the thunder of the flick. Because of this, the characters in the flick are a very generic Five Man band, the sets are cheap looking, and the plot laughable. Despite (or because of) this, the movie is enjoyable on a B-Movie level, if you enjoy mocking movies. That is.
There is a really big difference between Seasons One and Two. Aside from J. Weinstein gone, the set is different, the riffing is noticeably more frequent (and much better.) JatB and the Mads actually exchange dialogue a bit more as well. Not only that, but I did enjoy a few of the Host Segments, which is something I can't say much of for Season One.
As I stated above, the riffing in this episode far exceeds anything from Season One. While it isn't perfect, I had far more laugh out loud moments in this episode than I did with the entire first season. This episode is a must watch for any MST3K fan. 8/10
Trivia: At least for the first few episodes of the second season, Joel wore a bluish-green jumpsuit instead of the traditional red.
Favorite Riffs:
*to the opening theme song*
All: Don't get your hopes up too high, because when it's all said and done, It's still a Lloyd Bridges movie. If, you're looking for something good, Then, an hour from now you're going to be leaving,
*Dr. Ralph Fleming speaks to the press*
Fleming: I must make something clear.
Servo (as Fleming): I'm wearing a bra.
*Fleming is introducing the crew of spaceship*
Fleming: Dr. Harry Chamberlain...
Joel: Dirk Squarejaw.
*Dr. Eckstrom moves the chalkboard, revealing a drawing of the ship*
Servo: We baked a rocket earlier in a 450 degree oven...
Reporter (To Corrigan): How does your wife feel about you going?
Corrigan: Well, she's a Texan too...
Servo (as Corrigan): Which mean's she is rock stupid.
*Fleming telling the reporters what to do after the rocket takes off*
Fleming: Everybody return here after the takeoff.
Crow (as Fleming): Uh, except for the astronauts. We need them on the rocket.
*Fleming and Eckstrom talk about working on the project*
Fleming: I can't believe this moment has arrived after all these years.
Eckstrom: It's been a long time...
Fleming: A long time for two men to work together.
All: *cough and whistle innocently*
Eckstrom: Remember what they used to call us?
Joel: Siegfried and Roy?
*Dramatic music starts playing on the RXM when something goes screwy*
Servo: Who turned on the radio?
*Corrigan starts moving switches and knobs*
Servo: Will you shut that music off, please?!
Crow: Houston we have a problem. Lloyd (Graham) is making moves on the babe here.
*The crew tries to fix the problem.*
Joel (using an underwater voice): Well we stared at it. That should fix it. Let's get out of here.
*Van Horn and Eckstrom argue over a formula for fuel*
Van Horn: I'm sorry. I apologize
Eckstrom: For what, for momentarily being a woman?
Joel: Pssh. Thank you Mr. White Male Reality.
*Graham starts telling pointless stories*
Joel: Boo! Shut up!
Crow: Oh No!
Servo: Oh brother...
*Graham and Van Horn try to have a romantic subplot*
Graham: Did you ever in an open convertable looking over the Pacific?
Joel (as Graham): Then drive off laughing maniacially?
*Corrigan, after a meteor shower*
Corrigan: Say, maybe somebody don't want us to get where we aim to get.
Season Two Episode Two: The Sidehackers Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester, Frank w/Assistants Gerry and Sylvia
Plot Synopsis: Rommel, a mechanic/sidehack-style racer, meets JC at a weekend race. JC, an entertainer, wants Rommel to join his act after watching a sidehack race, but Rommel turns him down. Paisley, JC's abused girlfriend, throws herself at Rommel, then cries rape when she is turned down. To avenge the "violation" of his girl, JC arranges for Rommet beaten down and Rita killed. Rommel decides to get revenge.
Host Segments:
Prologue: It's cleaning day aboard the Satellite of Love, and the Bots are not being very cooperative.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: The Bots promise to behave, so that they can stay up, for the movie. Joel invents a radiated Pet Slinky. Dr. Forrester creates a Slinky Body so he can be in two places at once. Joel critizes the Mads for stealing his ideas again.
Segment Two: JatBs perform the Sidehacking Song.
Segment Three: The SOL crew wonder why sidehacking hasn't caught on. The figure out that sidehacking isn't that good since there's no way to call it.
Segment Four: Everyone has Rommel hats, and JC and Gooch from the planet Fivethehardway drop by the SOL and decide to get Rommel.
Ending Segment: JatB are unhappy that they've had two straight movies with downer endings. They decide to sing the stirring "Love Pads the Film". They read some letters. Frank still isn't sure which button to push.
Review: Talk about an unexpected genre shift. The movie goes from an obscure racing movie with a romantic twist, to some vengeance plot. Talk about a strange leap from one to the other. The main villain was pretty hammy, and.. that's about it.
The riffing in this movie was great. I noticed that they actually did a few call backs from Season One, like "No x, not allowed" or a riff on Robot Holocaust. They also made more than a few jokes that were a nod to "Rommel you maginficent b******." Funny the first time, but kinda got old fast. Another strong episode. 8/10
Trivia: Portions of the film were edited out due to the fact that the writers didn't watch the entire movie before accepting it for riffing. The edited part shows Rommel's fiancee Rita being raped/murdered rather graphically. After this movie, they made sure to watch every movie beforehand before accepting/rejecting it.
Season Two Episode Three: Jungle Goddess w/ short The Phantom Creeps Chapter One Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Frank w/Assistants Gerry and Sylvia
The Short's Plot Synopsis: Mad Scientist Dr. Zorka (Bela Lugosi) has invented many evil things. Like a giant robot, and invisibility belt. What does he plan to do with his discovery? Why, try to conquer the world... by selling it to the highest bidder. Zorka's former colleague Dr. Mallory believes Zorka is doing something evil, and has the military question him. Zorka, trying to one-up everyone, fakes his own death. A reporter, Jean Drew stows away on a plane to the location of his body (his wife is also on the plane) but a mechanical spider causes havoc on the plane.
The Movie's Plot Synopsis: After the end of World War II, a pair of pilots are looking for a Dutch millionaire's missing daughter. Mike Patton (George Reeves) and his friend Bob Simpson learn that she went missing when her plane went down in Africa during early World War II. After landing the plane in an African jungle, they go searching for the woman, only to discover natives. Bob quickly kills them for no reason. They are captured and taken to a village, where tye find Greta Van den Horn, the missing daughter. It turns on the tribe worships her as a goddess. I guess that makes as much sense as landing an airplane in a jung- oh wait.
Bob is sentenced to 'death' for his murdering of a local, but Greta is going to fake his death and they are going to try and escape from Africa. Will this movie have show more insulting stereotypes than? Will Mike reveal a Superman costume under his clothes? Will I care?!
Host Segments:
Prologue: JatBs are playing hide and seek with the forces which control the universe. Crow wanted to play hopscotch.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: JatBs find the universe right away. Joel tries his new radio controlled circular saw, though it sorta fails when he saws a hole in the floor... In Deep 13, Dr. Forrester has removed his head and fused it to a saxophone while his headless body roams around at random.
Segment Two: JatBs puts on their "Bela's OK Discoveries" infomercial, selling their own Phantom Creeps to remove stains. Forrester gives them the main flick to watch.
Segment Three: Joel demonstrates the binocular mattes ("Gobos"), something Cambot had came with.
Segment Four: Two White Devils (Mike Nelson and Jim Mallon) visit on the Hexfield with a list of demands. Bullets play largely into their demands. Joel thinks it might be a good idea to stop giving their address out.
Ending Segment: Joel is the star of the wacky sitcom 'My White Goddess. Joel reads a letter, while Frank mimics Dr. Forrester.
Review:
It's plainly obvious the writers were having a whole lot of fun doing the riffs while using the Bela Lugosi impersonations. It made the short far more enjoyable.
This movie had about every single stereotype it could cram into it, and that's bad. The good thing is that the riffing was really spot on in both the short and movie. There was very little dead air between riffs, and the riffing was definitely consistent and hilarious. Another great episode for Season Two. 8.5/10
Trivia: This entire 'Art Crow' bit was started in this episode when Joel introduced Crow as 'Art Crow' after the My White Goddess bit.
Season Two Episode Four: Catalina Caper Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Frank w/Assistants Gerry and Sylvia
Plot Synopsis: An ancient Chinese scroll is stolen from a museum in Los Angeles and teenager Don Pringle arrives on Catalina Island simultaneously. Although approximately half of the film involves swimsuit-clad adolescents dancing on yachts in several different dance montages, Pringle and his friends investigate the scroll's theft and discover that the parents of one of the boys is responsible — also while attempting to woo a mysteriously depressed young woman Katrina Corelli from her vaguely threatening boyfriend Angelo. After wrestling the scroll away from Angelo and his cohorts, bent on more dangerous results (in an underwater scuba diving action scene), the boys secretly return the scroll to the museum to the relief of the repentant parents.
Host Segments:
Prologue: The Bots say their nightly prayers, including god blesses for a number of fellow robots, including at Joel's insistence, Twiki.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: While willing to reluctantly pray for Twiki, the Bots refuse to pray for the Mads. The Mads have invented literal tank tops. Joel turns a bazooka into a fun generating tickling device.
Segment Two: Joel talks about the 60s for the bots. It eventually falls into the BAD things that happened to Joel as a kid.
Segment Three: Tom sings "The Creepy Girl".
Segment Four: Joel tries to fix Crow, while Frank's attempt to sell Tupperware for evil purposes to Gerry and Sylvia goes badly once Dr. Forrester decides to sit in and watch his sales technique.
Ending Segment: Joel attempts to explain the film with a handy chart, but loses it when the Bots disagree on what is the emotional center of the movie. Servo tries to sing Creepy Girl again.Joel reads a letter from two people who met and fell in love because of MST3K, including their wedding announcement.
Review:
Like Moon Zero Two, this movie is a Warner Bros. flick that has an opening animated bit. Unlike Moon Zero Two, it seems like the main plot of the movie is thrown away so they can go into the pointless beach party stuff. At least Moon Zero Two tried to keep relevant. Here, we had a random beach party fluff, a portrait stealing bit, and a plucky comic relief thta nearly killed kill Slapstick. Somehow the movies tried to throw all of this into one coherent plot. It didn't work.
The riffing wasn't as strong as the other early season two episodes, but they were still funny. The host segments were pretty good as well. Despite the weaker riffs, this was another good episode. 7/10
Season Two Episode Five: Rocket Attack USA w/short Phantom Creeps Chapter 2 Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Frank w/Assistants Gerry and Sylvia
The Short's Plot Synopsis: Dr. Zorka eludes the authorities, using his invisibility belt and mechanical spiders. Military Agent Bob West fights and overcomes Dr. Zorka’s assistant Monk. Bob then pursues an automobile into the hills, believing it is driven by someone who has learned Zorka’s secrets. Jean Drew, plucky girl reporter, accompanies Bob as he searches the abandoned car. Bob discovers a strange disk, which the invisible Zorka has planted in the deserted car. Death by mechanical spider seems imminent for Bob and Jean.
The Movie's Plot Synopsis: John Manston, a spy for America(!), is sent into Russia to spy on what they're doing after Russia has launched Sputnik. The plan is for him to meet a mole who also happens to be having an affair with the Minister of Defense in Russia. After a few random bits, they finally get close to the missile, but they die.
The movie then turns to a random group of New Yorkers near the imminent nuclear strike.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Tom Servo gets a 'haircut' by Joel, who then tries to sell him some new hair products.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Joel's invention, the Mexican Jumping Bean Bag Chair, was eaten by Gypsy, so he presents the Candy Adding Machine. The Mads present Water-Polo Foosball. The foosball players are all Dr. Forresters and Franks.
Segment Two: JatB discusses the Cold War, and the Charlie McCarthy Hearings. Artist renderings of how things went down.... sorta.
Segment Three: The Civil Defense Quiz Bowl...Joel is the host. It is Los Alamos (Crow) vs Oak Ridge (Tom Servo) vs a housewife from Great Neck (Gypsy)!
Segment Four: JatB meets Joel's Russian counterpart (Mike Nelson) and his really lame robots. Both sides try to get together, but they aren't compitable.
Ending Segment: Joel and the Bots are incensed about the movie and pick apart the plot. They read a letter and the Mads are pleased with the crew's reaction.
Stinger: A blind guy walks down the street calmly as the sirens go off. Someone runs past him, and he emotionlessly says 'Help me.'
Review:
Another part of a pointless movie serial. Glad they showed less of this one than Radar men from the moon.
Your basic scare'em straight movie, though without a budget. Or even the so bad it's good entertainment (save for a few parts.)
Good episode. A step forward in this episode compared to the previous episode. Though Tom Servo's 'new' head is a bit jarring at first to see in the theater room. I'm really glad they didn't keep it for long. It's also good to see the Stingers. Those were always hilarious on their own. All in all, another good episode from the second season. 7/10
-- In the not too distant future Next Sunday A.D. ....
*One of the mechnanical spiders blow up in the plane near the pilot*
Crow: Whoa! Now how do you feel about spontaneous human combustion?
Joel: Sorry I blew up like that.
*Jean Drew is hanging from a tree from her parachute after the plane crashes*
Joel: Oh, I can see the strings.
*Police come running almost immediately after the plane crash*
Servo: Luckily, the policemen's picnic was just over the hill.
*Dr. Zorka swears revenge on the scientists that drove him where he was (and ended with his wife dead. His driver Monk turns (though with his sunglasses it looks like he's looking into the camera*
Joel (as Monk): That's my boss. Always going on about his life of danger, but look who does all the driving! We'll be right back.
*The movie goes through a montage way too fast*
Joel: Hey! Whoa! They gotta slow down on the montages!
Favorite Riffs (movie):
*George, leader of something or another, talks to John, a spy about to enter Russia*
John: When do I go George?
George: Right now. One of our best pilots will send you on a special civilian plane.
Crow (as George): And then push you out the back, screaming.
Narrator: It was never pleasant to send a friend into danger...
Joel (as Narrator): But he could live with it.
Narrator: ... But it had to be done. The best man had to do it.
Crow (as Narrator): The groom or the brides maids just wouldn't do.
*John meets the female spy he's to work with. She reads his paper, then.. 'burns' them*
Crow: Oh she's burning... They can't even afford to burn paper in this film.
Servo: Just throw it out of shot...
Female Spy: What are your plans?
Servo (as Manston): You just BURNT my plans.
*John and the spy talk about what's going to happen.*
Spy: It's all going to be determined by vote.
Joel: Voting in Russia...?
*John and the spy talk as the spy she's having an affair with sleeps drunkingly*
John: Every time you're out here with him and I'm in that closet I...
Joel (as John): Want to put you in the closet.
*We get an opening shot of Lenningrad*
Narrator: Far to the north lays a fully operational missile base.
*The image is of a lone pole in a forest*
Joel (as Narrator): Or... telephone pole.
*The Russians look at the missile... Which r is never shown on screen*
Crow: It must be a stealth missile, there's no shadow!
*Russian general is talking to a soldier*
Crow: The general is asking the soldier for hamburgers instead of chili peppers, since they burn his guts he really wants some hamburgers and FRENCH FRIED POTATOES!
*There is a completely pointless shot for about a minute*
Joel: Can someone please get in shot? Please? Hello?
*John and the spy finally get in shot*
Joel: Finally.
*A fallout shelter has a whole lot of women entering it*
Joel: I know which shelter I'm going to!
Servo (as Dr. Strangelove): And we'll have ze women for zer sexual prowess, und animals will be bred and slaughtered!
*The nuke hits New York*
Crow: Well, it turned the Big Apple to Applesauce...
-- In the not too distant future Next Sunday A.D. ....
Season Two Episode Six: Ring of Terror w/short Phantom Creeps Chapter 3 Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Frank w/Assistants Gerry and Sylvia
The Movie's Plot Synopsis: A medical student (and Dawson Casting advocate) named Lewis Moffitt protects his fear of the dark, which stems from a shocking ordeal from his childhood, which involved a dead body. Despite this he acts unaffected during the first autopsy witnessed by his class. His frat brothers are impressed by this, and they want to give him a proper induction based on his seeming stoicness, but things turn out worse than you'd expect.
The Short's Plot Synopsis: Dr. Zorka desperately tries to guard a meteor fragment from which he derives his destructive powers. Dr. Mallory invents the “neometer,” an instrument he believes will detect the presence of Zorka’s meteorite. Government agents Bob West and Jim Daly, armed with the neometer, capture Zorka's assistant Monk while he is trying to escape with a heavy case. While taking Monk to headquarters, Bob attempts to open the insulated case. But the case contains the dangerous meteorite fragment, and opening the case unleashes such a destructive force that it demolishes several electrical towers along the roadside, not to mention the agents’ car.
Host Segments:
Prologue: The Bots trick Joel with a fake movie sign.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Joel takes the fake movie sign with good graces. Dr. Forrester turns Frank into an oversized game of Operation game board, while Joel presents Pin-Bolus and turns his inner organs into a pinball game.
Segment Two: JatB presents Old School, a college for the elderly based on the old-looking "students" in this film.
Segment Three: Joel demonstrates robotic anatomy for his class by autopsying "Mr. Hoover". The bots are predictably sickened by it.
Segment Four: Joel gives RAM chips for naming good things about the movie. Despite Crow and Tom trying to name something good, Gypsy gets the RAM chip. The good thing: The movie was short! Because of that, The Mads send up a short!
Ending Segment: The crew complains about the short, and Frank sings a tribute to the chauffeur from the short, "If Chauffeurs Ruled the World".
Stinger: "Weird. Yeah, I guess that is the word for it. Weird."
Review:
If you took out all the padding and useless crap from this movie, you'd have (maybe) a ten minute long flick with no scares. Who thought this would be a good movie? Not to mention the stupid insults to fat people. Terrible movie, is all.
I can see why they didn't try to put the short behind the movie more times than this. I guess it sorta feels like Arc Fatigue. You just want it to end and really don't want to give the short much thought.
Alright episode, but with all the changes to the usual formula, it didn't feel as good as it usually does. If you want to see one of the strangest looking MST3K episodes from the national broadcast, this would be it. Odd-head Servo, short after the movie. There were plenty of grat riffs as well, so it's not that it was bad, but the straying from the formula did hurt it, in my opinion. 6.5/10
-- In the not too distant future Next Sunday A.D. ....
Season Two Episode Seven: Wild Rebels Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Frank w/Assistants Gerry and Sylvia
Plot Synopsis: Rod Tillman is a stock car driver. Despite a lavish life, his funds are beginning to run low. He decides to sell his trailer and hangs out at a bar where he meets a group of bikers that call themselves "Satan's Angels". Realizing Rod can drive the getaway car for their robberies, they offer him a place in their gang. Despite a make out session with Linda, the lady of the gang, Rod declines the offer. On his way back to town, he gets recruited by Lieutenant Dorn to go undercover amongst the bikers, who have thus far been able to outsmart the police. After the police fix a race to make it appear that Rod is in desperate need of money, the bikers agree to let him join the gang. He proves himself as a driver during a hold up at a gun shop where the owner is shot. Linda reveals to Rod that she doesn't commit these crimes for financial gain, but for the thrill of the action. During a bank robbery, Rod signals to a passing officer while the gang is inside. A shooting spree ensues and the gang realizes Rod is a mole, forcing him to drive away at gunpoint. Several policemen are killed as they chase the gang to an old lighthouse. Rod tries to make a break by running up the spiral staircase of the lighthouse. Jeeter follows after him and corners him with a shotgun. A shot is heard, and it's revealed that Linda, having a change of heart about her life of crime, has saved the life of the wounded hero. Linda goes off to a life in prison and Rod walks into the sunset with Lieutenant Dorn.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Gypsy is depressed and doesn't wanna talk about it, so Joel shuts down the higher functions of the SoL to get her to talk.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Gypsy finishes her talk with Joel so he can breathe again, but he's a little out of it. The Mads demonstrate their Hobby Hogs for children who look up to bikers, and Joel creates 3-D Pizza, based on 3-D chess from Star Trek.
Segment Two: Joel and the Bots talk about the intellectuals who rode motorcycles and started gangs.
Segment Three: JatBs make a commercial for Wild Rebels cereal.
Segment Four: The bots talk about Gypsy's talents, and Joel sings a song to Gypsy in the style of the film...until the other Bots jump him.
Ending Segment: Joel is surprisingly chipper after the movie's ending. He cheers the Bots up by helping them make more fun of the movie, resulting in a party. The Mads are confused until Frank figures it was so bad that it was good. Joel reads a letter.
Review: I think it was best said that this movie was so bad that it veered back into the good territory. The characters were cliche, the plot stupid, and robbing a bank with a syringe? Silly. Yet, it gives it that goofy charm people find amusing.
The riffing was strong here, and the host segments were particularly amusing. It was also good to see Tom Servo with his normal dome back. That cylinder thing just weirded me out too much. 8/10
-- In the not too distant future Next Sunday A.D. ....
Season Two Episode Eight: Lost Continent Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Frank w/Assistants Gerry and Sylvia
Plot Synopsis: An American rocket ship crashes upon a remote island in the Pacific and an Air Force pilot, some scientists, and a couple of other guys are assigned to find it. After lots and lots of rock climbing, they get to the island and suddenly discover that the island is populated by extinct animals, including meat-eating herbivorous dinosaurs. Did I mention there is ROCK CLIMBING involved?
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel gives the Bots a pep talk before the movie.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Frank demonstrates a mobile treadmill, something Dr. Forrester finds pointless. After fumbling with a few schematics of other inventions, Joel doesn't have enough time to show his invention. He refuses to go into the theater until he shows his, but he gets a shock for his troubles.
Segment Two: JatBs tell jokes before Hugh Beaumont (one of the stars of the movie) drops by for a visit. He reveals he's actually one of the Four Horsemen.
Segment Three: JatBs do a sketch, in which Joel plays a condescending explorer. Crow thinks Joel is on goofballs.
Segment Four: JatBs spot a Cool Thing. They encourage the viewers to send in suggestions as to what the Cool Thing really is. The Mads aren't amused.
Ending Segment: JatBs analyze the movie, coming to the conclusion that the director really liked padding. Tom Servo presents casting facts, and Crow gets a bit off base about the director. Joel reads a letter, and the Mads assert that they won.
Stinger: Wilson talks to the doctor: "Well, thanks for straightening me out doc. You took the words right out of my mouth. Good night."
Review: Padding, or rock climbing, is a great way to describe this dreadful movie. Honestly take out all the rock climbing bits, and the movie would be cut in half. The film wouldn't be any better, but still.
The riffing was really strong. Them riffing the stupid rock climbing scenes was really entertaining, especially when Joel lost it for a bit. The host segments were pretty funny as well. Another fine episode. 7.5/10
Trivia: It turns out someone actually took Frank's invention to heart, and actually invented a moving treadmill. Don't believe me?
-- In the not too distant future Next Sunday A.D. ....
Season Two Episode Nine: The Hellcats Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Frank w/Assistants Gerry and Sylvia
Plot Synopsis: Soldier Monte (Ross Hagen from Side Hackers,) comes back from the war and goes undercover to avenge the death of his cop brother, Chapman. Linda, Chapman's fiancee, wants vengeance too, and knows he had infiltrated cop a drug-dealing biker gang, the Hellcats. They are employed to Adrian, a mob boss trying to move drugs from Mexico to the US. The avengers infiltrate the Hellcats, the girl is abducted, and now it's the retired soldier against all the bad guys.
Host Segments:
Prologue: JatBs have bad colds. Joel tries to stop the segment before it even begins.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: JatBs uses Servo's head to distribute vapor that may cause flashbacks. The Mads are still riding their Hobby Hogs, while Joel finally gets to demonstrate his Sign-Language Translator.
Segment Two: Servo, somehow typing in his journal, flashes back to the Shatner segment from The Crawling Hand.
Segment Three: Crow, recording his journal, remembers the Zero Gravity segment from Rocketship X-M.
Segment Four: Joel, writing in his journal, recalls the Gobo Sketch from Jungle Goddess.
Ending Segment: Gypsy tries to write in her journal. Everyone discusses their own diaries, the crew reads a letter from Italian fans, everyone has a group hug, and the Mads work through their own pain.
Stinger: The trumpeter gets doused in booze.
Review:
Of the biker flick trilogy reviewed on MST3K, this was the weakest. You try watching a movie you can barely hear, with grainy film and bad actors. Wait, that explains half the movies on MST3K... Er...
The riffing wasn't as strong in this episode. Granted, it was stll funny, but this is so far the weakest episode of the second season in terms of riffs. The fact that the host segments were all flashbacks doesn't help matters. I would recommend watching Sidehacker and Wild Rebels over this, for sure. 5/10
-- In the not too distant future Next Sunday A.D. ....
Season Two Episode Ten: King Dinosaur w/short X Marks The Spot Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Frank w/Assistants Gerry and Sylvia
The Short's Plot Synopsis: Joe Doakes is a terrible driver and drives his poor, strange-looking guardian angel to exhaustion keeping him safe. Finally, his angel takes a rest...just long enough for Joe to kill himself in a terrible car accident. In the celestial courtroom, Joe presents his case to the divine judge who will decide if he can return to earth or move into death. Joe's angel presents the evidence of Joe's road rage. After the angel presents his case, he is released from his duties, leaving Joe and the judge. The judge poses the question to the audience: is he suitable to return to life, or should he be condemned to death?
The Movie's Plot Synopsis: A new planet moves into our solar system and four scientists (two couples) are sent to explore Nova, the planet that has just entered Earth's solar system. The crew begins to study the planet to see if it's able to withstand a possible Earth colony. After first discovering normal Earth animals such as a kinkajou and an alligator, they soon encounter giant insects, dinosaurs, and the titular King Dinosaur.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel reads some beat poetry for the bots.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: The Bots debate if beat poetry has to rhyme. Crow starts his, but The Mads interrupt for the experiment. Dr. Forrester is fixing an elevator and Frank is preparing for his hat party. Frank pushes a button, and Forrester plummets down the elevator shaft. He then declares he is his own invention, the Pocket Scientist. Joel accidently creates his as well...the Incredibly Stinky Sweatsocks.
Segment Two: Crow ponders if he is suitable for judging Joe from the short. He goes off into a soliliquy in which he decides to change the world, celebrates life, learns to think for himself, and ends up making suggestions such as parade around the street in your underwear.
Segment Three: It's Joey the Lemur! The Bots try to sing a song extolling the virtues of the lemur. It's not particularly convincing, but it sure is weird.
Segment Four: "The Emotional Scientist" sketch, featuring Joel as Albert Einstein. He protests, complaining about the dumb costumes and stupid ideas. The Bots try to go on without him with Crow as Madame Curie, but they realize the futility of the whole thing. Joel consoles them, and rejoins them for one final try.
Ending Segment: Crow notes the Robert L. Lippert films he has been forced to watch instead of better cinema. Joel demonstrates the theremin, a key item that played in many of Lippert's films and he ends up getting way too fascinated with it. The Bots read a letter. Dr. Forrester uses Frank's head to push the button.
Stinger: Ralph faceplants following a fight with a gator.
Review:
This was the first non-serial short shown on MST3K, and they start off with a good one. X Marks The Spot is a hilarious short with a lot of great riffing. Somehow, shorts work better stand-alone then as a serial for the show. The movie was rough. It took three days to make, and it felt like it took three days to watch. Terrible terrible flick.
The riffing for both the short and movie was very strong and enjoyable. The host segments were pretty fun to watch, as well. This movie just had the right kind of badness for that makes for great riffing material.. 8/10
-- In the not too distant future Next Sunday A.D. ....
Season Two Episode Eleven: First Spaceship on Venus Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Frank w/Assistants Gerry and Sylvia
Plot Synopsis: In the far off year of... 1985, a strange, extraterrestrial spool is discovered, leading to a manned expedition to Venus. The, which is mixed with ethnicities from all across the globe, land on Venus, but not after some trouble. There, they discover that the planet's population was wiped out by a nuclear error. Some of the crew members die horrifically, and the surviving members of the expedition return to earth with a warning for all mankind.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel adjusts Servo's sarcasm sequencer. It might be a bit high.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Joel finally puts Servo on the correct setting (random) After passing on Pia Zadora and Dan Quayle, he goes crazy on Gallagher. The Mads plan on stealing another of Joel's inventions, which turns out to be a Junk Drawer Helper, a kit to start a junk drawer. The Mads attempt to present their own invention which is lost in their own junk drawer. They find Abe Vigoda instead.
Segment Two: The Bots create a robot of their own, the XT-5000 Ramjet Super-Configured Limited Edition Lighting Interface, Model L. Joel asks it a question and finds out it only communicates in foam.
Segment Three: The Bots spot a strange ship that is home to a fierce gorilla. Gypsy faints, leaving it up to Crow and Tom to calm it down. Crow angers it, while Servo is able to calm it into submission with his singing voice.
Segment Four: The Klack Industrial Company presents an ad for holiday foods. The edibility of Creamy Clotted Palm Spread, Sir Cheddar Snack-a-Lots, and Creamy Crunchpuppies is rather debatable.
Ending Segment: Crow kind of liked it, it reminds Joel of his childhood, and it leads to Tom's sarcasm sequencer overloading and his head exploding. Letters are read as Tom smolders. Back in Deep 13, Dr. Forrester is busy being ill into the junk drawer (which continues through the credits), forcing Frank to push the button on his own.
Stinger: The alphabet gang bids the astronauts adieu.
Review:
The movie had a lot going for it, but unfortunately it all sorta just fell short at the end. The movie had characters that really weren't given much more than a first (or last?) name, which makes writing down good riffs tough. I've seen worse.
The riffing was pretty damn entertaining, to be fair. Not quite on the same level as some of the other episodes in season two, but it didn't fall down to some of the worst of Season One, either. The host segments were pretty funny, though nothing special. 6/10
-- In the not too distant future Next Sunday A.D. ....
Season Two Episode Twelve: Godzilla vs. Megalon Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Frank w/Assistants Gerry and Sylvia
Plot Synopsis:
The mighty Godzilla and Jet Jaguar the Robot battle to save man from Megalon and Gigan, sent by undersea dwellers from Seatopia who are intent on destroying the surface dwellers of Earth because of all the nuclear testing done by the surface nations.
Host Segments:
Prologue: JatBs act like a morning TV show.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Joel attempts to explain what pain feels like to the Bots. JatBs and the Mads both come up with easy-to-make Halloween costumes.
Segment Two: To redirect Joel's attention, Crow and Tom come up with their own Godzilla style monsters, giving them increasingly implausable and flowery abilities as they attempt to one-up each other.
Segment Three: JatBs use a James Bond style theme song on keyboard and footage from the movie to make a montage based on their "Rex Dart, Eskimo Spy" riff.
Segment Four: Crow and Tom do their own increasingly dark take on the Orville Redenbacher grandfather and grandson commericals.
Ending Segment: Joel gives Crow and Tom new arms, though Crow isn't exactly happy with it. the Jet Jaguar fight song is translated. Joel reads two letters, while Frank plays video games.
Stinger: Godzilla leaps/falls off a cliff into the sea.
Review: How the mighty have fallen. This has to be the worst Godzilla film ever made. Hell, the movie is less about Godzilla and more about Jet Jaguar. It's as though Godzilla is just the advertised extra here. What a shame.
The good news is that this movie did give us plenty of great riffing. This movie definitely has some of the better riffing material of the early seasons, not to mention the Host Segments were pretty damn funny as well. Combine all that, and you got one hell of a movie. What's even better is that the final movie of the second season is Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster, so be prepared for a double dose of Godzilla! 9/10
-- In the not too distant future Next Sunday A.D. ....
Season Two Episode Thirteen: Godzilla vs. The Sea Mosnter Network: Comedy Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Frank w/Assistants Gerry and Sylvia
Plot Synopsis: Some teenage boys and a bank robber end up on a mysterious soutern island where a totalitarian group has enslaved all of the natives. The teens summon Godzilla for help. Godzilla and Mothra (now friends, I guess) show up, and Godzilla battles the Ebirah, a.. giant enemy crab. After attacking it's weak point (for massive damage) the villains' self-destruct device is triggered, and Mothra helps Godzilla save all the people on the island.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel reads the Velveteen Rabbit and does all the voices.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Joel shows off his Mind Control Guitar. The Mads play their squeaky Doggie Chew Toy Guitars
Segment Two: Joel explains the very fictional origins of Godzilla with “The Godzilla Genealogy Bop”
Segment Three: Crow and Tom believe that Joel is suffering from space madness. They think Joel’s models of famous earth structures made from found objects are further evidence of his mental decline. So they destroy the models for Joel’s own good.
Segment Four: Despite Joel’s warning, Crow and Tom mock the Mothra twins, only to receive a visit from Mothra on the Hexfield Viewscreen! Fortunately, he’s a pretty mellow fellow. But later when the bots try to tell Joel about Mothra’s visit, Joel won't believe them.
Ending Segment: Joel teaches the bots about famous sayings that actors didn’t actually say (Beam Me Up Scotty-isms.) They look at some “Cool Thing” contest entries. The Mads briefly consider the possibility of reviewing policy and instituting a change to a less hostile posture toward JatBs, but it doesn’t go anywhere.
Stinger: Everyone bows down before Mothra
Review:
Great end to the second season. Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster is definitely an entertaining movie to riff on, though it's tough to keep up with everyone's names. Especially when most of the characters aren't named on screen >_>. Still, monster movies always seem to be a good source of lulz for the writers of MST3K.
The riffing was very entertaining, and really strong. Ending the second season with a one-two punch of Godzilla films seems like the right move to end that season. You can really tell how much the riffing has evolved since the first episode, and the host segments as well are a lot more entertaining to boot. 9.5/10.
-- In the not too distant future Next Sunday A.D. ....
Now that I'm done with Season Two, I can easily say it was better than Season One. There are far more standout episodes of this season than the previous, and the overall quality of both riffing and host segments left only a couple of dull moments.
In between Seasons two and three, Comedy Channel merged with rival Ha! Network. In a move that would be foreign to the show later, Comedy Channel demanded that Mystery Science Theater be kept as a holdover, since it was the best (and highest rated) show on their network. Ha! agreed, and Mystery Science Theater would be made one of the premier shows on the new channel Comedy Central (CTV: Comedy Network was the first name, but was changed a few months in.. Coincidentally, the name change came on the same day the third season of the show began.)
The new Comedy Central and Best Brains (the owners of MST3K) signed a new deal, and three notable things came from this deal: 1. Comedy Central expanded the series from 13 episodes a season to 24. 2. CC Upped the show's budget.so it wouldn't have to rely on Public Domain movies, and could use the rights for films to riff. 3. They agreed to a three year, 24 episode deal that would take the series to five seasons. I'm not sure if the the Turkey Day specials were part of the contract, but Comedy Central did have Thanksgiving Specials where they would marathon the show, have new segments, and debut episodes.
Here's the rankings for Season Two: 1. Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster 9.5/10 2. Godzilla vs. Megalon 9/10 3. Jungle Goddess: 8.5/10 4. Rocketship X-M: 8/10 5. Side Hackers: 8/10 6. Wild Rebels: 8/10 7. King Dinosaur: 8/10 8. Lost Continent: 7.5/10 9. Catalina Caper: 7/10 10. Rocket Attack USA: 7/10 11. Ring of Terror: 6.5/10 12. First Spaceship to Venus: 6/10 13. The Hellcats: 5/10
-- In the not too distant future Next Sunday A.D. ....
Season Three Episode One: Cave Dwellers Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Frank w/Assistants Gerry and Sylvia
Plot Synopsis: In this Conan The Barbarian knockoff, Akronas, also known as "the Great One", is a legendary teacher, inventor, and philosopher. He leads an ivory-tower existence in a gigantic castle with his daughter Mila. Ator is a legendary swordsman/whatever the plot needs is a one-time disciple of Akronas and dwells in a remote castle/cave far away.
Akronas has discovered a new potent power source which he calls "the geometric nucleus". Apparently, it has many potential applications, one of which might be a weapon. Aware he is about to be overrun by the evil warlord Zor and his henchmen, he dispatches daughter Mila to summon help from Ator. Mila dons her best breastplate (hubcap?) and sets off on her journey just as Zor arrives at the castle. Eventually, Mila finds Ator's castle after an ambush by Zor's minions. After treating her wound, Ator to aid Akronas, with the help of his sidekick Thong.
Ator and company then make their way back to the castle (with several misadventures to flesh out the time.) Finally reaching it, he launches an attack on the evil Zor. After Thong kills Zor after Ator disarms him, the movie ends as a nuclear blast inexplicably is shown.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel welcomes us to the SoL, while JatBs give themselves favorite new names. Magic Voice prefers... Magic Voice.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Everyone is still trying to figure out their names, but Joel just keeps the names the same. Joel creates the smoking jacket to look cool, while the Mads engage in robotic arm wrestling. JatBs cheer on Frank, then Forrester.
Segment Two: JatBs reenacts Cave Dweller 's half-screen credit sequence. Servo and Crow think this is a bit fruity.
Segment Three: Jatb ponder the conventions of naming fantasy objects in low-budget films.
Segment Four: Joel shows Tom and Crow how to use sound effects, the Joel foleys some sound effects, like the ocean, spine crushing, and a buffalo herd.
Ending Segment: JatBs are shocked by the film. They then point out the horrible continuity problems of the movie. The Mads remind them of their evilness.
Stinger: "Thong, the fish is ready!"
Review:
What a terribly hilarious film. This is the sort of film that falls into that 'sweet spot' category of great films to riff. Hilariously bad on their own, but with great riffing, makes it legendary. Season Three is when MST3K 'grew the beard', as they say, and this episode proves it right here. While there were some good episodes in the previous two seasons, this one really takes it to a whole other level. The final host segment is also hilarious as hell (the other segments were pretty good, to boot!) I would highly recommend showing this to a non-fan of the show to 'introduce' them to the series. 10/10
-- In the not too distant future Next Sunday A.D. ....
I'm going to wait a bit before attempting a top ten. Though I can say that a few Season Three episodes will be on that list. I can assure you it won't stink.
I really enjoyed the Godzilla episodes, not sure how they'll stack up to the Monster Turtle Gamera....
-- In the not too distant future Next Sunday A.D. ....
Season Three Episode Two: Gamera Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Frank w/Assistants Gerry and Sylvia
Plot Synopsis: A mysterious jet is flying over the Arctic, so a general orders fighters to shoot it down. Unfortunately, the jet was carrying a nuclear bomb and the atomic blast from its crash awakens a prehistoric monster: Gamera. Gamera first destroys an ice-cutting model research ship and then immediately heads to Japan to destroy more things. In Japan, a short-shorts-wearing, turtle-obsessed boy named Kenny is saved by Gamera – after Gamera first almost kills him – marking the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Kenny is allowed into the inner circle of power in Japan due to his association with Gamera and tries to interfere with any plans to destroy his giant turtle friend. Finally, the scientists come up with the "Z Plan," in which Gamera is to be imprisoned in a giant rocket and launched to Mars.
Host Segments:
Prologue: JatBs goes through a spoken warm-up to prepare for the experiment.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Crow goes for a trust exercise for Tom, then 'accidentally' fails to grab him. Joel presents a container that holds an infinite amount of salad, while Frank creates a vacuum that is supposed to clean up birdcages without removing the bird. It fails.
Segment Two: Tom sings Tibby, Oh Tibby to his pet turtle... Tibby. Crow notes Servo sung a love song to a turtle.
Segment Three: Crow and Tom take out their rage on Kenny; Joel tries to get them to take a more positive outlook on Kenny. It doesn't work.
Segment Four: The Bots pretend to be in a beauty salon, and Gamera (Mike Nelson) drops in for a visit.
Ending Segment: Tom introduces the castof Gamera, in his own special way. Joel reads a letter, and Frank gives Joel a shock to the shammies.
Stinger: An Eskimo mutters a rather bizarre, "Bye..."
Review:
Let's see, take one part evil monster attacking Japan, one part bad dub, one part scrappy, and mix it all together and you get... GAMERA: FRIEND TO ALL CHILDREN! This was a pretty silly Japanese movie that tried to follow the leader that was Godzilla.
Of course, going by MST3K, Gamera > Godzilla. Godzilla at least had one pretty good movie, even though there was so much dull surprise in it you'd think Keanu Reeves was conceived during a watch of it. Here, Gamera's first movie is just... silly. The riffing was excellent, and the host segments were great. I particularly enjoyed Joel getting mad at Crow for making stupid puns, and ripping his arms off. This episode is historical and definitely one that you MUST see. 10/10
-- In the not too distant future Next Sunday A.D. ....
Season Three Episode Three: Pod People Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Frank w/Assistants Gerry and Sylvia
Plot Synopsis: An alien, after landing on Earth, discovers her eggs have been smashed by a poacher. Enraged, she kills the hunter and his friends, before she begings terrorizing more people.Only one egg remained. That egg is found by Tommy, a little boy who lives alone save for his mom and a lot of pets. It hatches, and Tommy names it Trumpy. Shortly after hatching, Trumpy grows as large as Tommy. Meanwhile, Trumpy's mother pushes Laura, a groupie, of a rock band hanging out in the woods off a small cliff. Critically injured, the other band members take her to Tommy's house, where she eventually dies.
Trumpy's mother kills more people, and Tommy sees this through his telescope. At first he think it is Trumpy, but later realizes it's another alien. Tommy unsuccessfully tries to sneak Trumpy out of the house, but he's caught by his mother, who grabs a rifle and tries to shoot his alien pal. He and Trumpy flee into the foggy woods, and everybody else pursues him. Trumpy and his mom finally meet up before she's gunned down. Tommy leaves Trumpy in the woods and goes back home with his mother and the surviving band members.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Crow does a segment from his one-man show, "Robot on the Run", and Tom does the intro to his own show.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Servo doesn't want to be dropped from the program. Joel demonstrates a new guitar chord that blows up in his face, while the Mads wail along with their new Public Domain Karoke Machine.
Segment Two: JatBs sing their own version of the song from the movie, "Idiot Control Now". The Mads like it, but Joel says that "It stinks!"
Segment Three: Joel teaches Crow about how to create new age music, whichs leads to Music From Some Guys in Space.
Segment Four: Trumpy's magic causes mayhem on the SOL. That Mads are a bit weirded out by this.
Ending Segment: As JatBs pack up, they conclude the show with the beautiful "Clowns in the Sky", but the Mads think... It stinks.
Stinger: *after giving the A-ok sign* "It stinks!"
Review:
What a terribly hilarious movie. Half the movie felt like they were just throwing together three or four different omvies together. Not to mention the fact that the dubbing of this movie is really bad. The kid sounds like (and probably was) a 40 year old woman. At least it's better than Debbie from Manos.
It's not impossible to see why this movie makes for a fantastic episode (some damn good Host Segments.) Like Cave Dweller (and Gamera, sorta) the movies are so damn ridiculous that they move back up to So Bad It's Good territory, and that territory is like the gold mine for great episodes. If I had to pick a favorite from what I watched thus far as my favorite, THIS would be it. 10/10.
Favorite Riffs:
*One of the Hunters climbs up a rope to some eggs.*
Crow: Hey, dad hid the eggs good this year.
*During a closeup on a cave with a red light coming out*
Joel: Looks like Yoda's home.
Servo (As Yoda): Luke? Use the force, Luke.
*After one of the hunters breaks some of the eggs, the alien shows up (though we don't see it.)
Joel: Oh my goodness. It's the Easter Bunny and is he ever mad.
*During an extremely foggy shot*
Servo: Even the movie The Fog didn't have THIS much fog.
-- In the not too distant future Next Sunday A.D. ....
Season Three Episode Four: Gamera vs. Barugon Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Frank w/Assistants Gerry and Sylvia
Plot Synopsis: Three treasure hunter set out to find a large opal for one of the team's older brothers, who buried it on an island during World War II. Once there, one of the members dies from a scorpion bite, and the other, Keisuke, is nearly killed by the third member.
Turns out the opal is in fact an egg. During the return to mainland Japan, the egg hatches as Barugon, a lizard-dog... thing that terrorizes Japan. The evil treasure hunter, Onodera kills a Keisuke's brother since he gave them the mission. He is still convinced the opal is on the ship Barugon hatched from.
Keisuke and a native girl, Karen, finally make it to Japan, find Onodera, and a fight ensues. They then meet up with the military, and try to kill Onodera, though they fail each time. Gamera shows up after about an hour or so (he showed up in the first part of the film, then disappeared.) A monster battle ensues, and Gamera eventually wins.
Host Segments:
Prologue: PC or Mac? The bots put them both up for debate. Joel brings up Amiga, which both bots laugh at.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Joel invents the Audio Animatronic Soda Can for public service announcements. The Mads get down with the Disco Cumber-Bubble-Bund. No, that totally doesn't look like the Cumber-Bubble-Bund Joel invented back in Robot Monster, if THAT'S what you're asking.
Segment Two:Tom advertises the 5000-piece fighting Men & Monster set! Tom get a LITTLE excited with his sales pitch.
Segment Three: Crow and Tom are midwestern monster women having dinner at T.G.I. Tokyo's, while Joel is the waiter.
Segment Four: Joel relaxes with the Bots and talks about going to the Drive-In, then he identifies the "famous" faces in Gamera vs Barugon and starts to go a bit nutty.
Ending Segment: JatBs wonder why Gamera barely appeared, Joel informs them of the behind-the-scenes books on the film, then tells them about the books on tape. Joel reads a letter. Frank gives Dr. Forrester the uncut verison of The Sting. It's far too heavy for Forrester to carry around though.
Stinger: Kawajiri is happy for the discovery, then is killed by the deadly poisonous scorpion
Review:
Remember when I did the review for Godzilla vs. Megalon and I said that Godzilla was just the advertised extra? This was worse. Gamera appeared for all of ten minutes (five in the front, five in the back) and barely fought Barugon. The entire plot was basically us watching a bunch of characters I didn't care about wander around as Barugon killls. Then again, since Gamera is a kid lover, and there was no kid hero, he didn't have much of an incentive to show up.
Despite that, this was another good episode. The riffing was good, though not on the same levels as the previous three movies. Again, it's sort of hard to keep up a character's name when it's never mentioned. Why do Japanese movies do that so much? Aside from that, this was an entertaining episode. 8.5/10
Trivia: Like Gamera before it, this was also an KTMA original. That episode is also the earliest known episode of MST3K to exist (aside from the master tapes, of course.)
-- In the not too distant future Next Sunday A.D. ....