Board 8 > Anagram ranks anything Mario-related

(+) Yeah! (+)

Waluigi

nominate F.L.U.D.D.

Super Mario 64

Mario Clash

New Super Mario Bros (series)

Captain Toad

NFUN posted...

it's not a channel it's an instrument. the real question is how did you find that?

I typed "delay lama mario" into Google!

Should we do Daisy on hard?

Wario

LinkMarioSamus posted...

Should we do Daisy on hard?

I dont know what this means.

So long, gay Bowser

Tumble (Mario Party 3)

Anagram posted...

To me, Wigglers are one of the two definitive "let's show off the console's new powerful technology" enemies. Wigglers are more complicated than any enemy on the NES, with multiple parts to them, the head having different properties from the body, and two different modes (normal and angry). The other definitive enemy like this is that one stretchy arm guy from Resident Evil: Code Veronica

Let me introduce you to this one little game called "Luigi's Mansion".

- Cape Feather Tier
Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door: I know I said that Mario RPG is flawless, and I stand by that, but TYYD is even more flawless. It's like the perfect video game. PM1 is great and everything, but it's Nintendo's first attempt at this. There are numerous ways you could have improved it, and TYYD does most of them. The gameplay is tighter, the badge system is better-implemented, the companions are mostly cooler (Flurrie...), there are more secrets to find, the locations are wackier, the references are cleverer, even the use of Luigi is better, even the final boss is better, even the use of Bowser and the new final villains are better, even the section where you play as Peach and get spied on while naked in the shower by a horny computer is better. Like, PM1 takes you to a fortress, a ruin, a mansion, a lava stage, a grassy field, an ice stage, and a star stage. TYYD takes you to a run-down shithole, an inverse coloration forest, a wrestling tournament, a haunted city, a jaunty pirate island ruled by the ghost of Hernan Cortez (???), a train-based closed circle murder mystery, and then an alien base. And yes okay the inverse color forest isn't very original, but everything else is super clever. Like, the nearest comparison I can think of is, weirdly, Baldur's Gate vs Baldur's Gate 2, where the first game is pretty good, and then the second game actually does just go in and fix everything, and add a ton of cool new toys and ideas, and actually does do everything a sequel should. Like, I've seen people complain about almost every Mario game ever, but I've never seen anything for this game by anyone except glowing praise and abject worship. Absolutely perfect in 99% of ways, can't recommend it enough. If you were going to ask me to list the five best games ever made, this... I don't know if it's on the list, but it's definitely in the top five RPGs, at least.
Mario Kart (Series)
Super Mario World
Cape Feather
Admiral Bobbery
New Donk City
Super Mario RPG
Super Mario Odyssey

- Kuribo's Shoe Tier
Rosalina
Luigi Wins Without Doing Anything
Super Mario Bros. 3
Kuribo's Shoe
Paper Mario: God, the N64. It has like eight absolute must-play games, and then everything else either has a better version on the PC or PS1, or is just bad. Paper Mario was one of the very few games that actually made you want to buy the system. It's not perfect in the way that TYYD is, but it steals everything good about Mario RPG, makes the story a little more generically Mario, and gives us one of the best aesthetic ideas ever. And it's actually interesting how much this game does NOT lean into the paper gimmick. TYYD is what introduces that, and the later games of course ruin the series by taking it way too far ("what goes onto paper? I know! Stickers!"), but here, it's just a goofy little style thing. If this game had just used regular Mario 3D graphics, it would be essentially the same, just less distinctive. God, sorry, I want to praise this game more, but I view it as the game that learned to walk so that its brother could later learn to run... and then its second brother could learn to walk, but stumble a bit, and then the family doesnt talk about its other brothers, theyre sort of disowned.
Super Mario 64: THE 3D platformer. It is insane how Mario and Zelda both made the leap to 3D with no difficulty at all, but Sonic completely fumbled the ball, and still fumbles the ball. Like, they got 3D Mario and Zelda right in one try each. Zelda moreso, but it had two extra years in the oven, and so was able to implement the amazing technology known as a "recenter the camera behind you button." God, remember mid-90s 3D games, where they'd have completely insane controls because no one had yet standardized "left stick moves you, right stick moves the camera?" Mario 64 just gets everything right in one try. Is it quite as precise and responsive as Mario Galaxy? No, it's not. But if you can forgive some mid-90s jank that every game was guilty of at the time, then it's probably the best 3D platformer until... God, I don't know. It's way better than B-K and DK64. Definitely better than SMS, Galaxy, and Galaxy 2. Definitely better than any Sonic, Crash, or Spyro game. I don't know, I've never played the Ratchet and Clank or Sly Coopers. Does Prince of Persia: Sands of Time count as a platformer? I admit to liking it more than Mario 64. But while I am of course a major SM64 supporter, I don't know if I can say it's better than the other best Mario games. It's like, it nailed all of the difficult 3D elements in one try, but it's not QUITE a flawless masterpiece. There is jank. The fact that SMS failed to surpass it is sort of its own failing rather than being due to perfection on M64's side, you know what I mean? SMS has a sort of a more interesting setting and coherent theme and atmosphere, but it's bizarrely worse on the platforming and staging than Mario 64. SMG is better on that angle, and has finally erased all jank, but the fact that I can remember entire stages from M64, but you could probably show me a fake stage from Galaxy and I'd never be able to tell, speaks to its own failings to be new and interesting rather than just polishing up what M64 started. Anyway, M64: good game. I first played it at the dentist's office. You should also go the dentist and play this game.
Bowser (RPG Versions)
Fire Flower
Super Paper Mario
Waluigi: In contrast to Wario, whose name working because Wa = evil and War = bad thing in English is just a coincidence, Waluigi just shoved a Wa in front of Luigi's name, flipped the L on Luigi's hat into a Lambda and called it a day... and it doesn't work at all. It's just the stupidest thing. Everything about Waluigi is lazy, stupid, and pathetic, and that's what makes him so compelling and perfect. In Japanese, does he come across as stupid and useless as he does in English? Because in English, he is the Platonic embodiment of a shitty, worthless non-character. But even more than that, Waluigi is a man defined by what he isn't. Wario is Mario in reverse, Luigi is Mario but lesser, and Waluigi is a reversed and exaggerated version of that. Six degrees removed from Kevin Bacon? Waluigi is two degrees removmed from Mario, twice. Is there any other character like that? I guess if there's like, Bizarro Supergirl, that would be an equivalent to Waluigi. Does that character exist? Someone who knows more about comics than me tell me. Oh, did you want me to actually talk about Waluigi? He's a worthless piece of trash character. Being the lamest, most pathetic character in video games is what makes him the best Mario character. And one more thing: anyone who wants him in Smash is crazy. What would he even do? He would just have to use all of the sports and party games items to pretend he's a real character.
Mario Tennis (N64)
1-1 Theme
Yoshi
Super Mario 64 DS
Minus World
Stretchy Mario Face (Mario 64)
Culex
Count Bleck
Bowsette
There Will Be Brawl
Mario, the Idea vs Mario, the Man
Luigi
Bayonetta Nintendo Content
Thwomp
Charles Martinet
Hammer Bros.
Brawl in the Family
Rawk Hawk
Glitzville
Pirahna Plants on Parade (Level)
Super Mario Maker 2
Hexagon Heat
Mario vs Crono Rivalry

- Hammer Suit Tier
Paratroopas
Dire Dire Docks (Theme)
Link (Mario Kart)
Dr. Goomba Tower
Italians
Chris Pratt
Triple Jump
Timed Hits: I know about 'em. It is actually insane how rarely this mechanic is used in JRPGs generally. It has to be easy to balance around, and it gives the player something more to do during battle.
Super Mario Bros. Movie
SupperMarioBroth
Super Mario Bros.
Isle Delfino
Beep Block Skyway
Vivian
Bowser
Hell Valley Sky Trees
Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island
Shy Guy
Valentina
Lack of Mario vs Sonic (Character Battles)
Smash 64 Commercial
Pirahna Plant (Smash Bros)
Mysterious (Mario Paint)
Peach's Castle
Mini-Yoshi (TTYD)
Koopa Bros
Hurly Gloves
Tubular
Koji Kondo
Staff Roll (Mario Kart 64)
Autumn Mountain Battle Theme
Fawful
Axem Rangers
Mario Lemieux
Mario/Sonic Rivalry
Swapping Cartridges
Tanooki Suit
Delay Lama
Super Mario Bros Plumbing Commercial
Warp Whistle
Beware the Forest's Mushrooms: I praised Mario RPG quite a lot earlier, but one thing I didn't talk about was its music. Specifically, I can't remember a single track from it... except this one. This is THE Mario RPG theme. It's so whimsical and mysterious, and feels very woodsy, too. The nearest equivalent I can think of is the Lost Woods theme from OoT, which has the elements, but a different emphasis: Lost Woods is much happier and adventurous compared to Forest's Mushrooms. Or maybe I'm just full of it! It's up to you. But even though I like the song well enough, it's not something I ever listen to outside of the contexts of playing the game or ranking Mario things. It's like, yeah, I sort of am saying this isn't as good as Mario Kart 64's Staff Roll theme.
Shigeru Miyamoto
Wario: I'm not really a Wario fan, but I do think it's mildly interesting to compare him to Shadow the Hedgehog. Except that I don't know anything about Sonic lore post-1995. I Know that Shadow is like actually a robot created by Robotnik's grandfather, right? Something like that. What I actually can talk about with Wario is his use in the Mario series, or lack thereof. I think it's pretty clear that the original intention of Wario was to be another villain besides Bowser, exactly like Tatanga. Except Wario immediately after his first appearance, and I mean IMMEDIATELY, became the hero of his own series. And sure, it's like a """hero""" thing, but the point is that he no longer opposed Mario in any way. Even his one later appearance in a real Mario game is just him as a playable character in 64 DS. And I wonder what inspired the decision to make his a gross troll? Like, he's not like that in his first appearance. That has nothing to do with reversing Mario's traits. I can only assume that since Wario is meant to be greedy and hideous, they decided to make his personality like that as well. I think sort of the most interesting thing about Wario might actually just be his name, though. The fact that M upside-down is W, and that makes Wario, and Wa = evil in Japanese, but War = also a bad thing in English, is just an insane lucky coincidence. I'm not sure if I want Wario back in real Mario games. Probably not. He doesn't really serve any purpose anymore, and he barely served a purpose in the first place.
Super Mario Land 2
FLUDD: I have mixed feelings about FLUDD. I think it's uncontroversial to call SMS the worst mainline console Mario game (well, Lost Levels, but whatever), and a lot of that is down to it feeling way less precise with its controls. The jumping in the game is complete ass, and Mario somehow feels less precise than he does in Mario 64! But much of that is made up for by FLUDD, which lets you to mitigate basically any mistake by hovering in the air for a second. And like, yeah, FLUDD makes SMS easily the most complex Mario platformer in terms of controls. It has no competition at all in terms of how many 'things' Mario can do during gameplay, and the ability to hover in midair really is a crazy, unique idea for a Mario game. And I shouldn't really fault FLUDD for the fact that the game doesn't quite nail the execution of its levels or ideas, right? So, I guess I don't hate FLUDD. This is also interesting in terms of, like, this being the only time Mario's solution to a problem is technological in nature? Mario's power-ups and abilites are always either his own skills (jumping, punching) or magic granted to him by other entities (spin attack, hat possession). FLUDD is the one time that the game's gimmick is just a mechanical device built by some guy. It's so odd that Professor E Gadd shows up for two major games right in a row, drops two major backpack-based devices into the brothers' laps, became a major character for several spinoffs, and then... just sort of disappeared. He fills what you would think would be a major role, being the only scientist in the series. Like, most series would use him as Scientist Man, who comes in to explain the plot and build a device that lets the hero react to things... But the Mario series has so little plot, and whatever help Mario has can just come from magical beings, so E Gadd just has little presence outside of of the Luigi's Mansion series. He's by far the most important Mario character to never be playable in a Party or Kart game, right?

- Super Mushroom Tier
How Many Super Mario Games Are There? (Video)
Metal Mario
Luigi's Up-Taunt
Staff Roll Theme (Mario 64)
Disco Devil (Theme): ... is this disco? I'm gonna be honest, I don't actually know what defines disco from non-disco. Like, to me, Abba just sounds like pop music. There's a definitive Middle-Eastern theme going on in this theme, so I'm assuming it's for a desert stage.
Super Mario Strikers (2005)
Shellcreeper
Stealing Stars with Boo
Bowser Meets Bowser
"So long, gay Bowser!": I know he's supposed to be saying "King Bowser," but it really does sound like "gay Bowser." It's crazy how this Italian accent makes "King" sound like a completely unrelated, very different word. I thought at first that the Switch version changing the line to "Buh-bye!" was to remove the problem, but it turns out (according to Knowyourmeme.com, the most reliable source on the internet) that it just uses the Japanese version of the game's audio, where Mario never says "Bowser" because that's not his name over there.
Sammer's Kingdom (Theme)
Hide and Seek mods
Bowser Theme (Super Mario World 2)
Mario Quiz Cards
Puzzle Plank Galaxy (Theme)
Mario Tennis: Power Tour
Bah (NSMB Music)
March 10th
Super Mario Galaxy 2
Mario + Rabbids
Slider (Theme)
Starman
Donkey Kong (1981)
Wreck-It Ralph
Wiggler
Mushroomy Kingdom
Giga Bowser
Chargin' Chuck
Rainbow Road (Fat Bearded Guy Song)
Jim Carrey as Wario in SMB2
Gust Garden Galaxy (Theme)
Tonkachi Mario
Kaizo Mario World
Talking Flowers
Trials of Death
Mallow: I have played Mario RPG like twenty times, it's one of my most played games ever from childhood, and I've never used Mallow after I got Peach and Bowser. His damage just doesn't compare to Geno's or Bowser's, his support doesn't compare to Peach's, and he doesn't even have the benefit of looking cool. It's weird, too, because Mallow has probably the longest character section of the game. There isn't really a Geno or Peach section of the game, where you learn about their history and they have to make decisions or whatever, and Bowser's is mostly just him yelling at his former minions, and Mario is Mario, so if you're talking purely about which character has the most characterization and backstory, it's actually this guy... and it's barely integrated into the plot. So strange. Mallow also gets some points for not having the most annoying Smash fanbase. I have no idea why people think Sakurai is ever going to add an obscure secondary character from an early 90s Mario spinoff into Smash, instead of the next Pokemon or Fire Emblem advertisement.
Baby Park
Mary O

Brooklyn
Dennis Hopper
Anya Taylor-Joy
Tumble (Mario Party 3): I actually kind of like the idea of each Mario Party having a new host. Too bad that they don't do that at all. Of the sixteen Mario Parties, two don't have hosts, and most of the rest just have Toad, Yellow Toad, Blue Toad, or Toadette, and even most of the ones who do have unique hosts also just have Toad. Like, for God's sake, MP7 has Toadsworth, who is clearly the best Toad-related host possible... and then he just never shows up again ever. It is completely bonkers. That said, Tumble it kind of gross. He has a Toad's face, except with wider eyes, no body, and a die for a hat instead of a mushroom. And like, I'm sorry, am I alone in thinking that his die hat should have been different numbers at different times depending on his mood? God, the last unique host we got was MC Ballyhoo in MP8, and that was in 2007. Am I being controversial by saying the best host is the Star Spirits in MP5? At least they're sort of unique.
Angry Sun
I'm a Chuckster
Captain Toad: What game was he first in, Mario Galaxy? Goddamn, I thought it was Mario Odyssey. Oh well. I never played his spinoff, so I can only judge his appearance in Galaxy. He's a fun mixup to the normal game, turning things into essentially a no-jumping perspective puzzle game. That's all he is, though. He's not blowing my mind or anything.
Do the Mario
Fireworks (End of Level)
Eely-Mouth: The idea of a giant hideous fish with gum disease that's leaking out into the water and causing pollution, and when you cure it, the level is cleared of the toxicity, is great. And it's super ugly, too. Like, so ugly. I think it's because of the teeth; fish with human-ish teeth always look hideous. It looks so much better and uglier than the eels in Majora's Mask. It's actually amazing that this guy only shows up once, like Mario reuses bosses all the time, but this one guy only shows up a single time. I assume it's because he's underwater, and they already had Gooper Blooper to cover that position. And yeah, the pun for Meely Mouthed doesn't make a ton of sense, since the boss isn't timid or evasive, but sure, I'll accept it.
Super Mario Bros Super Show
Kublai Khan
Tetris Attack
7 Grand Dad
Toaster
Super Mario Bros. 2
Backwards Long Jump
Chuckya
Reznor
Final Fantasy Characters (Mario Hoops 3-on-3)
Mouser

- Frog Suit Tier
Great Giana Sisters
Wall Kicks Will Work (Star)
Lou Albano
Practice Makes Perfect (Legacy X)
Toad (Character)
Blindfolded Mario Maker Guy
Dong Dong Never Die
Mario Bros.
Peach: Princess Peach is the most nothing character in all of video games, at least relative to how much screen time she gets. Sure, she's got more going no than Banon from FF6, I guess, but she's in roughly two-million video games, and he's only in one, and he's so unimportant that you don't even learn what happens to him after the world is destroyed. There is nothing to Peach at all. AT ALL. Even in like 2010, I saw people drawing her or playing her up as a video game sex symbol, and she isn't even that. The most I can say for Peach is that she's the ultimate video game "the Girl," you know what I mean? This character was born purely so that Mario could rescue her. How many jokes have been made about her being useless and getting kidnapped over and over again? Here's the thing: she deserves those jokes. Even Zelda at least like telepathically tells you what to do after she gets kidnapped most of the time. Even Zelda managed to chuck an ocarina into a drainage ditch. And yes, Peach is indeed playable in SMB2, but aside from that, it took until the 2010s for her to start showing up semi-consistently as a playable character in real games. Like, who has more playable appearances in the mainline games: Peach or Blue Toad? I don't even know. But I'll say this: I've played Mario Kart and Mario Party with multiple girls, and they always choose Peach or Daisy. Always, always. And in Smash? Peach, Zelda, or Kirby. If Peach's job as a character was to be a character for girls to choose in multiplayer games, then she definitely succeeded. I dunno. Sadly for Peach, she doesn't benefit from the RPGs as much as Bowser. Even though she gets to talk and display her personality more often, her personality is mostly just "good guy," so there's not a lot to do with her. She's fine in the RPGs, there's no problem with her, but she's not being a completely different, far superior character like Bowser, so she doesn't even have that. By far the best Peach appearance in existence is in the movie. Like, I recognize that Movie Peach is just a completely different person than Game Peach, that they have nothing in common at all as far as personality goes, but it doesn't matter at all, she's still the superior Peach. And she's not even that good! By the way, I see that I put Peach next to Pauline in the rankings, which was not intentional.
Pauline
Stanley the Bugman
Chill (Dr. Mario Theme)
Torpedo Ted
Monkey! (Dennis Hopper)
"It's a stone, Luigi. You didn't make it!": Jesus Christ, Luigi, you can't just throw a stone football directly into your brother's chest five feet away from him, that could break his ribs! I was going to say Luigi was in the wrong here, but I mean, Mario looks directly at what Luigi is carrying, sees that it's made of stone, and says Luigi can't make stone. And it's like, bro, you can clearly see that it's shaped like a football. It looks nothing like a stone you'd pick up off the ground. So I can only assume that Mario is super contemptuous of sculpting as an artform.
Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix
L is Real 2401
WarioWare
King Boo
New Super Mario Bros. (Series): I made a joke earlier about the word "soul" in relation to video games, but seriously, if you're looking for technical perfection in design matched only by utter soullessness and lack of imagination, there is no more masterfully-produced game than any of these. When I think of just generic Mario, I no longer think of SBM1, I think of these things. They feel like fake games, like I just imagined them by combining all of my experiences playing other Mario titles without even thinking. I have to believe that these cost nothing to make, too. I remember the first came in May 2006, right before I graduated high school, and while I've changed a bit since I was a teenager, my opinion of NSMB has stayed the same ever since. And yet, I know that if I'm some stupid 10-year-old who doesn't know anything about anything, NSMB probably is going to interest me more than an ancient game like SMB1, so I have to concede that there's at least some element of nostalgia involved. But at the same time, no one can possibly tell me that these games have any imagination to them whatsoever, so I don't feel too bad about ranking them poorly.

Grandpa Mario (Serving Tray)
Gooper Blooper
Mario Clash: It's kind of amazing how far VR games haven't come. 1995, and I see this simple black-and-red VR game of Mario running around in 3D, knocking monsters off of things. Take us to the future of 2024, and what's the definitive VR game? Half-Life Alyx? Resident Evil 7? I have never once thought "man, if I don't a VR set, I won't be able to play the super fun game _______ that I'm looking forward to!" Still, Mario Clash deserves some points for being sort of the first 3D Mario game, I guess? I'm actually kind of shocked that it has a unique name instead of just being "Mario Bros. 3D" or something; that's what they would do today. And like, yes, this game obviously sucks, but I can't tell how much of that is due to the game itself versus the infamously terrible console.
Mama Luigi
Lakilester
Steak (Boss Fight)
NBA Street V3
Coins (Mario Kart)
Luigi Mario
Mario Paint
Fortune Street
Yoshi's Safari
Move Faster, Pokey!
Super Mario 64: Chaos Edition
Racist Mario
Jump Rope Challenge (SMO)
Wario's Woods
Fat Yoshi
Mike Tyson
Thunder Cloud (Mario Kart)
Mario Golf
Personalized Mario 64 Cartridge Theory
LUEshi
Boswer's Clown Car
Casio Hellburst
Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels
Wario's Mario Party 1 and 2 Voice
Donkey Kong Jr. (1982)
Yoshi's Cookie
Bowser is Pissed (Theme)
Yoshi (Game)
Special Mariko Broken (Sket Dance Chapter 91/Episode 39)
Mario is Missing

- Poison Mushroom Tier
I Am A Teacher: Super Mario no Sweater
Mario Kart Tour
Mario Teaches Typing
Super Mario Bros. Special
Super Mario Land
Puzzle & Dragons: Super Mario Bros. Edition: I've already accepted that you guys are going to keep nominating obscure early 90s Mario games, so let's see... oh, this is from 2015, okay. So, the story of this game is that Bowser kidnapped Peach and left Mario a letter: "Hey, Mario! I've grabbed Peach and taken those Orbs. Got a problem with that? You know where to find me. Bwahaha! -Bowser" Well, okay. I've never heard of Puzzle & Dragons, let's look this up... Oh, this is a match-three game? Get the fuck out of here.
Bowser's Big Blast
Watch for Rolling Rocks (0.5x A Presses)
Luigi Meeting Himself
Mario Screaming (Video)
Tatanga
Super Hornio Brothers
Toadette
Hand Injuries (Mario Party)
Pink Gold Peach
Paper Mario: Sticker Star
Pachinko Game (SMS)
Robirdo
Yakuman DS
Big Bertha x Mario (Mario Comics)
Wendy O. Koopa
Hotel Mario Cutscenes
Petey Piranha
Mario Galaxy 2 Glitch

- Blue Shell Tier
Subspace Dubbed Over
Mario Pissing
Blue Shells just Before the Finish Line
Birdo

Dedf1sh posted...

Let me introduce you to this one little game called "Luigi's Mansion".

Actually, yes, that is fair. I did completely forget about that game.

Heck yeah TTYD

Nominate Touch Fuzzy Get Dizzy

Flutter

Super Mario Bros.: The Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLdWHOW9zqc

Waluigis name works even better than Warios what the hell are you talking about

warui=bad
ruiji=luigi
waruiji=bad luigi

nominate 3up Moon

Mario Party (series)

Mario Tennis N64/GBC Transfer Pak functionality

Mario Kart 64

rubberbanding

Pipes

Post-game optional challenge levels (Grandmaster Galaxy, the Darkest Side, Champion's Road, etc.)

Super Nintendo World in Universal Studios

WazzupGenius00 posted...

Waluigis name works even better than Warios what the hell are you talking about

warui=bad
ruiji=luigi
waruiji=bad luigi

nominate 3up Moon

I know it works in Japanese, I meant in English.

Mario Characters' Final Smashes

I kinda want to read what you think about them, but if that's cheating I'll just go with Mario Finale first.

Cappy

Raka_Putra posted...

Mario Characters' Final Smashes

I kinda want to read what you think about them, but if that's cheating I'll just go with Mario Finale first.

I ranked all of the Mario final smashes because I felt like it.

- Cape Feather Tier
Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
Mario Kart (Series)
Super Mario World
Cape Feather
Admiral Bobbery
New Donk City
Super Mario RPG
Super Mario Odyssey

- Kuribo's Shoe Tier
Rosalina
Luigi Wins Without Doing Anything
Super Mario Bros. 3
Kuribo's Shoe
Paper Mario
Super Mario 64
Bowser (RPG Versions)
Mario Kart 64: Yeah, I said this about Paper Mario, but there are like eight N64 games worth owning, and this is definitely one of them. I don't actually like the original Mario Kart that much, it's janky as hell and not as good as the SNES F-Zeros. But Mario Kart 64 cleans up all of that with its greater power and 3D, and isn't as awkward and "experimental" as Double Dash. Mario Kart Wii is just a straight upgrade, though. Once they decided to just make every Mario Kart the same thing instead of takings risks ever, Mario Kart 64 was never going to be able to compete. God, it's so strange looking at the character list. Mario, Luigi, Peach, Toad, Yoshi, DK, Wario, and Bowser. Mario spinoffs are NEVER this minimalist anymore. There're no extra useless characters padding the resume, like Baby Daisy or Bam-Bam, it's just "here are the eight characters who matter. Figure it out." It's like something from another time, I guess because it is.
Fire Flower
Super Paper Mario
Waluigi
Mario Tennis (N64)
1-1 Theme
Yoshi
Super Mario 64 DS
Minus World
Stretchy Mario Face (Mario 64)
Culex
Count Bleck
Bowsette
There Will Be Brawl
Mario, the Idea vs Mario, the Man
Luigi
Bayonetta Nintendo Content
Thwomp
Charles Martinet
Hammer Bros.
Brawl in the Family
Rawk Hawk
Glitzville
Pirahna Plants on Parade (Level)
Super Mario Maker 2
Hexagon Heat
Mario vs Crono Rivalry
Poltergust G-00: Yes, this is how you do it. Easily the best Mario Final Smash, and probably one of the best final smashes in general, because it's actually a reference to a goddamn video game that Luigi is actually in. It completely nails exactly how Luigi behaves in the game, it looks cool, it's perfect. Luigi is absolutely the only Mario character who gets a good final smash. The worst final smashes are the ones that are just the character doing some fancy attack that's not actually in his game or calling his party from his game to help him.

- Hammer Suit Tier
Paratroopas
Dire Dire Docks (Theme)
Link (Mario Kart)
Dr. Goomba Tower
Italians
Chris Pratt
Triple Jump
Timed Hits
Super Mario Bros. Movie
SupperMarioBroth
Super Mario Bros.
Postgame Optional Challenge Levels: I view these as exclusively a good thing. Well, maybe they should be accessible before the postgame, but it's fine, I'll allow it. It's nice of them to add extra stuff to challenge you and keep you playing without it being DLC, and because it's Nintendo, it's never going to be kaizo-level nonsense, or ridiculous Mario Maker garbage. That said, I was not able to beat the 3D World postgame stuff. This isn't a level, but I like that 3D World even adds a postgame CHARACTER with Rosalina. She has now shown up in real games more than Daisy and Wario, and has shown up as a playable character as many times as each of them.
Isle Delfino
Beep Block Skyway
Vivian
Bowser
Hell Valley Sky Trees
Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island
Cappy: Absolutely superior to FLUDD, I think we can all agree on that. It's actually insane that of all the Zelda games, Link teams up with a companion quite often, but Mario only does it twice ever.
Shy Guy
Valentina
Lack of Mario vs Sonic (Character Battles)
Smash 64 Commercial
Pirahna Plant (Smash Bros)
Mysterious (Mario Paint)
Peach's Castle
Mini-Yoshi (TTYD)
Koopa Bros
Hurly Gloves
Tubular
Koji Kondo
Staff Roll (Mario Kart 64)
Autumn Mountain Battle Theme
Fawful
Axem Rangers
Mario Lemieux
Touch Fuzzy, Get Dizzy: I like how blunt the name of this level is. Alright, I'll just go ahead and click the Wiki's article on Fuzzies. "It is the sole member of the enemy group Dudim Phreykunoutonthis." Wha... what? "Dudim Phreykunoutonthis is an enemy class in Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island and its reissue, Yoshi's Island: Super Mario Advance 3. Its name is a pseudo-scientific corruption of the phrase 'Dude, I'm freaking out on this,' referring to the disorientation and dizziness a Yoshi experiences whenever it comes into contact with or swallows a Fuzzy, the only member of this class." I don't... I don't understand who makes these Wiki articles. But the idea of a level in a game for little kids involving psychadelic fuzzy balls is funny, so I'll allow it.
Mario/Sonic Rivalry
Swapping Cartridges
Tanooki Suit
Delay Lama
Super Mario Bros Plumbing Commercial
Warp Whistle
Beware the Forest's Mushrooms
Shigeru Miyamoto
Wario
Super Mario Land 2
FLUDD: I have mixed feelings about FLUDD. I think it's uncontroversial to call SMS the worst mainline console Mario game (well, Lost Levels, but whatever), and a lot of that is down to it feeling way less precise with its controls. The jumping in the game is complete ass, and Mario somehow feels less precise than he does in Mario 64! But much of that is made up for by FLUDD, which lets you to mitigate basically any mistake by hovering in the air for a second. And like, yeah, FLUDD makes SMS easily the most complex Mario platformer in terms of controls. It has no competition at all in terms of how many 'things' Mario can do during gameplay, and the ability to hover in midair really is a crazy, unique idea for a Mario game. And I shouldn't really fault FLUDD for the fact that the game doesn't quite nail the execution of its levels or ideas, right? So, I guess I don't hate FLUDD. This is also interesting in terms of, like, this being the only time Mario's solution to a problem is technological in nature? Mario's power-ups and abilites are always either his own skills (jumping, punching) or magic granted to him by other entities (spin attack, hat possession). FLUDD is the one time that the game's gimmick is just a mechanical device built by some guy. It's so odd that Professor E Gadd shows up for two major games right in a row, drops two major backpack-based devices into the brothers' laps, became a major character for several spinoffs, and then... just sort of disappeared. He fills what you would think would be a major role, being the only scientist in the series. Like, most series would use him as Scientist Man, who comes in to explain the plot and build a device that lets the hero react to things... But the Mario series has so little plot, and whatever help Mario has can just come from magical beings, so E Gadd just has little presence outside of of the Luigi's Mansion series. He's by far the most important Mario character to never be playable in a Party or Kart game, right?

- Super Mushroom Tier
Mario Party (Series): The second best Mario subseries to play with friends or family. I can't call it skillless, but the randomness and importance of the luck is even more pronounced than in Kart. Kart is, like, a really good player will never lose to a bad player, even if they're really unlucky. A bad Mario Party player can just get a "switch stars with someone else" space at the last second for no reason. It is fun, and it definitely lets Nintendo show off all of their insane minigame ideas, but like... there comes a point in every Mario Party game, about 2/3rds of the way through regardless of length, when I'm ready for it to be over. It's somehow way more exhausting and tense than Mario Kart. At least if you're losing, Mario Kart is over quickly. Mario Party can last what feels like forever.
How Many Super Mario Games Are There? (Video)
Metal Mario
Luigi's Up-Taunt
Staff Roll Theme (Mario 64)
Disco Devil (Theme)
Super Mario Strikers (2005)
Shellcreeper
Stealing Stars with Boo
Pipes: The only remaining conceit of the original premise involving plumbing. Like, there actually is a tiny nugget of logic involved in traveling through a pipe, since they obviously connect Place A to Place B, but everything else is insane. Why are the pipes large enough for Mario to pass through? Why do they never connect to other pipes, but instead just jut out into the air? Why are they green? I've never seen a green pipe in my entire life.
Bowser Meets Bowser
"So long, gay Bowser!"
Sammer's Kingdom (Theme)
Hide and Seek mods
Bowser Theme (Super Mario World 2)
Mario Quiz Cards
Puzzle Plank Galaxy (Theme)
Mario Tennis: Power Tour
Bah (NSMB Music)
March 10th
Super Mario Galaxy 2
Mario + Rabbids
Slider (Theme)
Starman
Donkey Kong (1981)
Wreck-It Ralph
Wiggler
Mushroomy Kingdom
Giga Bowser
Chargin' Chuck
Rainbow Road (Fat Bearded Guy Song)
Jim Carrey as Wario in SMB2
Gust Garden Galaxy (Theme)
Tonkachi Mario
Kaizo Mario World
Talking Flowers
Trials of Death
Mallow
Baby Park
Mary O
Brooklyn
Dennis Hopper
Anya Taylor-Joy
Tumble (Mario Party 3)
Angry Sun
I'm a Chuckster
Captain Toad
Do the Mario
Fireworks (End of Level)
Eely-Mouth
Super Mario Bros Super Show
Kublai Khan
Tetris Attack
7 Grand Dad
Toaster
Super Mario Bros. 2
Backwards Long Jump
Parental Controls (Nintendo Switch): This is like the lamest commercial. Wait, what is the canon of Bowser Jr playing Mario Kart? Anyway, I remember when I was like seven, I had a friend whose mom installed a parental control on his computer. He was so angry that he took the software and installed it onto her computer to block her from accessing her work stuff. He got grounded for like an entire month for that.
Chuckya
Reznor
Final Fantasy Characters (Mario Hoops 3-on-3)
Mouser

- Frog Suit Tier
Great Giana Sisters
Peach Blossom: I appreciate that the Peach drawings on the side are a reference to Super Princess Peach, but let's not even talk about THAT game. Why do peaches even appear during this? Peach has never actually has association with actual peaches. I kind of appreciate that this is one of the few final smashes that won't kill the target by itself, which is very Peach-like, so I'll give it points for that. But it's not really a reference unto itself, so it's not getting many points on that end.
Wall Kicks Will Work (Star)
Lou Albano
Shadow Mario Paint: I... guess. This is better than Giga Bowser Punch. It is a reference to a game with Bowser Jr in it, so on that basis alone, it's in the top three Mario final smashes.
Practice Makes Perfect (Legacy X)
Flutter: "Anagram didn't know about this obscure second form of wigglers that have never been in a real Mario game! I'd better nominate it." Wait a second, the first sentence of the Wiki says it's the "imago" of a Wiggler, what the fuck is an imago? The last stage of an insect undergoing metamorphosis? Get the fuck out of here with that. There's no way anyone with a zoology degree has time to write the Flutter entry on the Mario Wiki, so my question is, did someone who already wrote on the Mario Wiki stumble onto this word and then add it, or did he search it out to make the Wiki more technically accurate? God, why is it "Wiggler," someone who wiggles," but it's "Flutter" instead of "Flutterer?" Anyway, these things look dumber than Wigglers.
Toad (Character)
Blindfolded Mario Maker Guy
Dong Dong Never Die
3-Up Moon: "Mr. Producer, fans are complaining that we use magical stars too much in Mario games. What are your orders?" Why does this even give you extra lives? The green mushroom isn't a star!
Mario Bros.
Peach
Pauline
Stanley the Bugman
Chill (Dr. Mario Theme)
Torpedo Ted
Mario Finale: I appreciate that this is very direct and simple, which is appropriate for Mario, but it has nothing to do with any of his games. Mario has never used anything like this. Like, how many power-ups does Mario have that could serve as his ultimate power-up? A blue shell, a cape feather, a starman, a double cherry, Kuribo's Shoe, raccoon leaf, Lakitu's Cloud, mega mushroom, the hammer, the wing cap? There are so many options, and instead Mario just pulls this out of his ass. And don't tell me that it's a reference to Ultra Flare from Mario RPG like the Wiki tries to. Shut up, no it's not.
Monkey! (Dennis Hopper)
"It's a stone, Luigi. You didn't make it!"
Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix
L is Real 2401
WarioWare
King Boo
New Super Mario Bros. (Series)
Grandpa Mario (Serving Tray)
Gooper Blooper
Mario Clash
Mama Luigi
Lakilester
Steak (Boss Fight)
NBA Street V3
Coins (Mario Kart)
Luigi Mario
Mario Paint
Fortune Street

Yoshi's Safari
Move Faster, Pokey!
Super Mario 64: Chaos Edition
Racist Mario
Jump Rope Challenge (SMO)
Mario Tennis N64/GBC Transfer Pack Functionality: You know, at least in theory, connecting your different games using this to access extra bonuses is a cool idea. Compare that to Amiibos, which are just blatantly "how do we squeeze more money out of people?" Okay, so what does this unlock... Four extra characters. Oh, ALex, Harry, Nina, and Kate, of course! My favorite Mario characters! And the Wii, Wii U, and Switch versions of the game don't include them because there's no transfer pack, how lazy and pathetic. And you can unlock six more courts! How nice. Yeah, no. Even as a kid, I would not have bothered unlocking this stuff even if it would have only taken five minutes. I view this as purely a way to squeeze more money out of you, as opposed to the Pokemon transfer pack uses, which were actually valid and some value.
Wario's Woods
Giga Bowser Punch: This is not like a definitive Bowser thing. Bowser's final smash should be, like, him on the clown copter, but I get that that's Bowser Jr's thing in the context of Smash. Either make it some kind of super firebreath, or he knocks you onto a bridge and then cuts it so you fall into lava, or Kamek shows up and curses you, or something like that. Low tier for sure, Smash specials need to be references, and this is just nothing. That said, Bowser is at least associated with attacking things, so it's better than Dr. Mario's and Daisy's final smashes.
Fat Yoshi
Mike Tyson
Thunder Cloud (Mario Kart)
Mario Golf
Personalized Mario 64 Cartridge Theory
LUEshi
Boswer's Clown Car
Super Mario Bros.: The Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach!: I read a synopsis of the plot, and let me tell you, the most shocking thing is the plot twist that there's a prince who's just a regular guy and he's engaged to Peach. And then he just marries her instead of Mario. It's like... the recent Mario movie did things right. You don't bother trying to have a logical story with Mario. Even Zelda, which is a million times more logic-focused than Mario, is still something you don't bother with story with. Huh, this is the first Mario media to establish Mario and Bowser are both in love with Peach? How bizarre. God, the Toads on the screen cover are so horrifying. Anyway, I'm sorry, this is a mildly interesting piece of Mario history, but I have zero interest in ever watching it. What little I watched on youtube looks like trash.
Casio Hellburst
Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels
Wario's Mario Party 1 and 2 Voice
Donkey Kong Jr. (1982)
Yoshi's Cookie
Bowser is Pissed (Theme)
Yoshi (Game)
Special Mariko Broken (Sket Dance Chapter 91/Episode 39)
Mario is Missing

- Poison Mushroom Tier
I Am A Teacher: Super Mario no Sweater
Mario Kart Tour
Mario Teaches Typing
Rubberbanding: I mean, I get it. There is no other way to make it challenging to play against computers. But it's also super annoying, obnoxious, and unfair. It reminds me of playing Starcraft as a kid, and on tougher difficulties, the computer just plain gets more resources than you do.
Super Mario Bros. Special
Doctor Finale: Like, for God's sake, it has nothing to do with Dr. Mario the game besides pills. The only good thing about this smash is that I once knocked out my friend with it. As I used it, I said "I prescribe pain!" and when he died, he punched me.
Super Mario Land
Puzzle & Dragons
Bowser's Big Blast
Watch for Rolling Rocks (0.5x A Presses)
Luigi Meeting Himself
Mario Screaming (Video)
Tatanga
Super Hornio Brothers
Daisy Blossom: Exactly the same as Peach, except with Daisy. But at least the drawn Peach images are a reference to her game. Daisy doesn't even have that. Complete trash.
Toadette
Hand Injuries (Mario Party)
Pink Gold Peach
Paper Mario: Sticker Star
Pachinko Game (SMS)
Robirdo
Yakuman DS
Big Bertha x Mario (Mario Comics)
Wendy O. Koopa
Hotel Mario Cutscenes
Petey Piranha
Mario Galaxy 2 Glitch

- Blue Shell Tier
Subspace Dubbed Over
Mario Pissing
Blue Shells just Before the Finish Line
Birdo

- Veto
Super Nintendo World (Universal Studios): This is in Univesal City? Oh hell, I'm like half an hour away from this, I had no idea. Argh, I could go to this literally tomorrow. I... I actually might have to do this now. I'm going to try to visit this by the end of the year.

Wario Land (Virtual Boy)

Well postgame levels were nominated in general, but I'll nominate a specific one

The Final-Final Test Badge Marathon

Super Mario Sunshine

Super Mario 3D Land

Luigi's Green Missile randomly misfiring

Anagram posted...

Peach Blossom: I appreciate that the Peach drawings on the side are a reference to Super Princess Peach, but let's not even talk about THAT game.

Nah, let's talk about it (or at least, you can talk about it, I never played it).

Super Princess Peach

Shy Guys on Stilts

Bob-omb Battlefield

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (movie)

Mario Kart: Super Circuit

Mario's Picross

Mario and Wario (the game)

The Beat Goes On

The death-obsessed Luma in the movie