LogFAQs > #979007266

- Cape Feather Tier
Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door: I know I said that Mario RPG is flawless, and I stand by that, but TYYD is even more flawless. It's like the perfect video game. PM1 is great and everything, but it's Nintendo's first attempt at this. There are numerous ways you could have improved it, and TYYD does most of them. The gameplay is tighter, the badge system is better-implemented, the companions are mostly cooler (Flurrie...), there are more secrets to find, the locations are wackier, the references are cleverer, even the use of Luigi is better, even the final boss is better, even the use of Bowser and the new final villains are better, even the section where you play as Peach and get spied on while naked in the shower by a horny computer is better. Like, PM1 takes you to a fortress, a ruin, a mansion, a lava stage, a grassy field, an ice stage, and a star stage. TYYD takes you to a run-down shithole, an inverse coloration forest, a wrestling tournament, a haunted city, a jaunty pirate island ruled by the ghost of Hernan Cortez (???), a train-based closed circle murder mystery, and then an alien base. And yes okay the inverse color forest isn't very original, but everything else is super clever. Like, the nearest comparison I can think of is, weirdly, Baldur's Gate vs Baldur's Gate 2, where the first game is pretty good, and then the second game actually does just go in and fix everything, and add a ton of cool new toys and ideas, and actually does do everything a sequel should. Like, I've seen people complain about almost every Mario game ever, but I've never seen anything for this game by anyone except glowing praise and abject worship. Absolutely perfect in 99% of ways, can't recommend it enough. If you were going to ask me to list the five best games ever made, this... I don't know if it's on the list, but it's definitely in the top five RPGs, at least.
Mario Kart (Series)
Super Mario World
Cape Feather
Admiral Bobbery
New Donk City
Super Mario RPG
Super Mario Odyssey

- Kuribo's Shoe Tier
Rosalina
Luigi Wins Without Doing Anything
Super Mario Bros. 3
Kuribo's Shoe
Paper Mario: God, the N64. It has like eight absolute must-play games, and then everything else either has a better version on the PC or PS1, or is just bad. Paper Mario was one of the very few games that actually made you want to buy the system. It's not perfect in the way that TYYD is, but it steals everything good about Mario RPG, makes the story a little more generically Mario, and gives us one of the best aesthetic ideas ever. And it's actually interesting how much this game does NOT lean into the paper gimmick. TYYD is what introduces that, and the later games of course ruin the series by taking it way too far ("what goes onto paper? I know! Stickers!"), but here, it's just a goofy little style thing. If this game had just used regular Mario 3D graphics, it would be essentially the same, just less distinctive. God, sorry, I want to praise this game more, but I view it as the game that learned to walk so that its brother could later learn to run... and then its second brother could learn to walk, but stumble a bit, and then the family doesnt talk about its other brothers, theyre sort of disowned.
Super Mario 64: THE 3D platformer. It is insane how Mario and Zelda both made the leap to 3D with no difficulty at all, but Sonic completely fumbled the ball, and still fumbles the ball. Like, they got 3D Mario and Zelda right in one try each. Zelda moreso, but it had two extra years in the oven, and so was able to implement the amazing technology known as a "recenter the camera behind you button." God, remember mid-90s 3D games, where they'd have completely insane controls because no one had yet standardized "left stick moves you, right stick moves the camera?" Mario 64 just gets everything right in one try. Is it quite as precise and responsive as Mario Galaxy? No, it's not. But if you can forgive some mid-90s jank that every game was guilty of at the time, then it's probably the best 3D platformer until... God, I don't know. It's way better than B-K and DK64. Definitely better than SMS, Galaxy, and Galaxy 2. Definitely better than any Sonic, Crash, or Spyro game. I don't know, I've never played the Ratchet and Clank or Sly Coopers. Does Prince of Persia: Sands of Time count as a platformer? I admit to liking it more than Mario 64. But while I am of course a major SM64 supporter, I don't know if I can say it's better than the other best Mario games. It's like, it nailed all of the difficult 3D elements in one try, but it's not QUITE a flawless masterpiece. There is jank. The fact that SMS failed to surpass it is sort of its own failing rather than being due to perfection on M64's side, you know what I mean? SMS has a sort of a more interesting setting and coherent theme and atmosphere, but it's bizarrely worse on the platforming and staging than Mario 64. SMG is better on that angle, and has finally erased all jank, but the fact that I can remember entire stages from M64, but you could probably show me a fake stage from Galaxy and I'd never be able to tell, speaks to its own failings to be new and interesting rather than just polishing up what M64 started. Anyway, M64: good game. I first played it at the dentist's office. You should also go the dentist and play this game.
Bowser (RPG Versions)
Fire Flower
Super Paper Mario
Waluigi: In contrast to Wario, whose name working because Wa = evil and War = bad thing in English is just a coincidence, Waluigi just shoved a Wa in front of Luigi's name, flipped the L on Luigi's hat into a Lambda and called it a day... and it doesn't work at all. It's just the stupidest thing. Everything about Waluigi is lazy, stupid, and pathetic, and that's what makes him so compelling and perfect. In Japanese, does he come across as stupid and useless as he does in English? Because in English, he is the Platonic embodiment of a shitty, worthless non-character. But even more than that, Waluigi is a man defined by what he isn't. Wario is Mario in reverse, Luigi is Mario but lesser, and Waluigi is a reversed and exaggerated version of that. Six degrees removed from Kevin Bacon? Waluigi is two degrees removmed from Mario, twice. Is there any other character like that? I guess if there's like, Bizarro Supergirl, that would be an equivalent to Waluigi. Does that character exist? Someone who knows more about comics than me tell me. Oh, did you want me to actually talk about Waluigi? He's a worthless piece of trash character. Being the lamest, most pathetic character in video games is what makes him the best Mario character. And one more thing: anyone who wants him in Smash is crazy. What would he even do? He would just have to use all of the sports and party games items to pretend he's a real character.
Mario Tennis (N64)
1-1 Theme
Yoshi
Super Mario 64 DS
Minus World
Stretchy Mario Face (Mario 64)
Culex
Count Bleck
Bowsette
There Will Be Brawl
Mario, the Idea vs Mario, the Man
Luigi
Bayonetta Nintendo Content
Thwomp
Charles Martinet
Hammer Bros.
Brawl in the Family
Rawk Hawk
Glitzville
Pirahna Plants on Parade (Level)
Super Mario Maker 2
Hexagon Heat
Mario vs Crono Rivalry