Poll of the Day > Not the Onion 2023 edition - silly news and bungery

(+) Yeah! (+)

I could read the article... but the headline has me baffled

Hundreds of White women gather at Colorado Capitol after plea from women of color to use their privilege to demand action on gun violence

https://www.cnn.com/2023/06/05/us/colorado-white-women-sit-in-gun-ban/index.html

Feral Hog Steals 18 Beers, Gets Drunk And Starts A Fight With A Cow Before Passing Out Under A Tree

https://www.whiskeyriff.com/2023/06/05/feral-hog-steals-18-beers-gets-drunk-and-starts-a-fight-with-a-cow-before-passing-out-under-a-tree/

Lokarin posted...

Bruh

>Rhode Island city councilman found asleep behind the wheel with crack pipe still in hand

https://abc7.com/cranston-rhode-island-city-councilman-matthew-reilly/13271785/

There's a follow up!

He's now being charged as a child molestor, too!

Lokarin posted...

There's a follow up!

He's now being charged as a child molestor, too!

When you first posted it, I figured it's a Democrat since RI is fairly blue.
Then when you mentioned the child molestation, I was like, "oh, maybe it is a Republican after all."
And sure enough he (is) was the chairman of the city's Republican party

Once again, living up to that GOP acronym that apparently I can't post w/o getting a moderation no matter how many hundreds of cases proving it true there are.

Gathering
Of
P [redacted; guess]

'Public nuisance': New York sues Hyundai and Kia, alleging their cars are easy to steal

https://www.cnbc.com/2023/06/07/public-nuisance-hyundai-kia.html

...guess it makes it too hard for police to do their non-jobs

https://www.foxnews.com/sports/conor-mcgregor-gets-booed-during-halftime-nba-finals-miami-knocks-out-heat-mascot

Trump's Cadence here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOvfXCGKXbI

Amazon Drivers Are Actually Just "Drivers Delivering for Amazon," Amazon Says

https://www.vice.com/en/article/pkaa4m/amazon-drivers-are-actually-just-drivers-delivering-for-amazon-amazon-says

https://www.newsweek.com/amazon-smart-home-brandon-jackson-echo-racial-slur-allegation-1806947?amp=1

Amazon shuts down smart devices in house over lie by delivery driver.

Restaurant used fake priest to hear workers confessions, feds say

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2023/06/19/fake-priest-california-restaurant/

U.K. says Russia "likely" training dolphins in Ukraine's occupied Crimean peninsula to "counter enemy divers"

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/russia-training-dolphins-for-combat-in-ukraine-crimea-uk-says/

A Delaware city is set to give corporations the right to vote in elections

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/seaford-delaware-corporate-voting-llc-trust-elections/

3-year-old put in jail for potty-training trouble by Daytona Beach Shores police officer

https://www.news-press.com/story/news/local/volusia/2023/06/28/child-handcuffed-locked-up-by-police-lieutenant-for-pooping-his-pants/70350225007/

MSCHF microscopic bag 'smaller than grain of salt' sells for $63,750

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-66052679

Supreme Court rules in favor of Christian web designer who made up a fake LGBT couple that she refused service to, and whose lie had already been proven and resulted in her conviction for perjury.

Sorry for the long title, but...I really can't capture how absolutely fucking mad and infuriating and defying of all common and legal sense this decision is in less words than that. Won by 6-3, 'natch.

https://twitter.com/AngryBlackLady/status/1674411961935863815

https://newrepublic.com/article/173987/mysterious-case-fake-gay-marriage-website-real-straight-man-supreme-court

Maybe "Fake Court gives fake legal victory to perjurer against fake plaintiff"?

Precedent set - you are now allowed to lie in court

Mom fired from starbucks because they thought her cancer was covid

https://globalnews.ca/news/9803604/alberta-mother-covid-cancer-lawsuit-firing/

NYC mayor calls elderly Holocaust survivor a "plantation owner" for complaining to him about rent increases

https://www.rawstory.com/elderly-woman-nyc-holocaust/

Lokarin posted...

Mom fired from starbucks because they thought her cancer was covid

https://globalnews.ca/news/9803604/alberta-mother-covid-cancer-lawsuit-firing/

Reminded me of when my mom was put out of work cause she called out one day over Rocky mountain fever from a tick bite. That magical word fever during the early days of covid sent them in a frenzy. They told her she couldn't come back cause it was contagious

Worked out though cause she was trying to move and the extra time off made it all the easier.

streamofthesky posted...

Supreme Court rules in favor of Christian web designer who made up a fake LGBT couple that she refused service to, and whose lie had already been proven and resulted in her conviction for perjury.

Sorry for the long title, but...I really can't capture how absolutely fucking mad and infuriating and defying of all common and legal sense this decision is in less words than that. Won by 6-3, 'natch.

https://twitter.com/AngryBlackLady/status/1674411961935863815

https://newrepublic.com/article/173987/mysterious-case-fake-gay-marriage-website-real-straight-man-supreme-court

Maybe "Fake Court gives fake legal victory to perjurer against fake plaintiff"?

Since it was a lie the decision should be ignored.

DeSantis cancels alimony

https://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/desantis-signs-bill-eliminating-permanent-alimony/3064096/

...

So... where's the onion?

Well, it's behind the scenes. This bill was being pushed by conservative women's groups who wanted to ban alimony in the future... only for their own payments suddenly being cut off

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

No, it's not.
Permanent alimony shouldn't fucking exist.
A few years at most for someone who literally spent a decade+ not working, to get back into the job market.

Lokarin posted...

Well, it's behind the scenes. This bill was being pushed by conservative women's groups who wanted to ban alimony in the future... only for their own payments suddenly being cut off

Couldn't happen to a nicer group of people. Awesome!

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Hey, just being wrong is not lying

I grabbed the story from reddit and they said they cancelled all... whatevs

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


So, fair enough... Permanent alimony

Drugs rain down on countryside after French fighter jet intercepts tourist plane

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/fighter-jet-intercepts-plane-drugs-fall-countryside-france/

Lokarin posted...

DeSantis cancels alimony

https://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/desantis-signs-bill-eliminating-permanent-alimony/3064096/

...

So... where's the onion?

Well, it's behind the scenes. This bill was being pushed by conservative women's groups who wanted to ban alimony in the future... only for their own payments suddenly being cut off

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS

Alimony shouldn't exist so I see nothing wrong with this.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Oh, look! Someone who doesn't know what THEY'RE talking about and is super proud about it!
The requirements for permanent alimony vary by state in the ones that have it, with some merely requiring being married a certain length, like 10 years.
In the tiny amount cases where someone is fully disabled and unable to work, it should be the state's burden to take care of that person, not the EX-spouse for the rest of that person's life, that's fucking crazy.
But go on embarrassing yourself.

streamofthesky posted...

Oh, look! Someone who doesn't know what THEY'RE talking about and is super proud about it!
The requirements for permanent alimony vary by state in the ones that have it, with some merely requiring being married a certain length, like 10 years.
In the tiny amount cases where someone is fully disabled and unable to work, it should be the state's burden to take care of that person, not the EX-spouse for the rest of that person's life, that's fucking crazy.
But go on embarrassing yourself.

That's not what alimony is.

Gen Z don't know what sailboats are

https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2023/06/30/travel/airseas-giant-kites-ships-slash-carbon-emissions-scn-climate-spc/index.html

Wisconsin guv uses selective veto to secure education funding for 400 years

https://apnews.com/article/evers-veto-400-years-wisconsin-school-funding-67a7847e4a24ea86f7d16123356f770d

Heres what I found out about Permanent Alimony is Florida:

Permanent alimony is rare, and the court reserves awards for spouses who need financial assistance and are unable to become self-supporting in the future. Permanent alimony may be appropriate in cases where the supported spouse is disabled, of advanced age, or caring for a minor child with special needs. In addition to demonstrating special circumstances that require permanent support, the court will also consider the length of the couple's marriage when deciding a final award.

I think like Stream said, the state should probably take care of disabled or advance aged spouses (though, they can get some type of normal alimony for a while, as Florida has 5 types including permanent) And for the minor child with special needs, I would hope both parents work together for the childs sake. But if not, I feel that should fall under child support instead of alimony

Lokarin posted...

Wisconsin guv uses selective veto to secure education funding for 400 years

https://apnews.com/article/evers-veto-400-years-wisconsin-school-funding-67a7847e4a24ea86f7d16123356f770d

I thought you were only posting bad things in here.

LinkPizza posted...

Heres what I found out about Permanent Alimony is Florida:

I think like Stream said, the state should probably take care of disabled or advance aged spouses (though, they can get some type of normal alimony for a while, as Florida has 5 types including permanent) And for the minor child with special needs, I would hope both parents work together for the childs sake. But if not, I feel that should fall under child support instead of alimony

That's different anyway. The government is supposed to pay for those things and has nothing to do with alimony. Alimony is for lazy people who do not want to work.

Revelation34 posted...

I thought you were only posting bad things in here.

most silly things are bad - but the silly comes first

Now these are some HOT onions

RFK Jr press dinner screaming match over climate crisis ends with columnist launching his own natural gas

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/rfk-jr-climate-crisis-natural-gas-b2374712.html

A Spelling Mistake Is Causing Thousands of Sensitive Pentagon Documents to Be Leaked to a Russian Ally

https://themessenger.com/news/thousands-of-sensitive-military-documents-are-being-leaked-to-russian-ally-because-of-spelling-mistake

Proof of voter fraud in 2020 election...

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2020-election/michigan-attorney-general-charges-false-electors-efforts-overturn-2020-rcna94838

Texas worker accused of being on drugs was actually dying of heatstroke

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/jul/20/texas-construction-worker-death-lawsuit-greg-abbott

Black man wins mayoral election; white oligarchs ignore him

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/patrick-braxton-black-man-says-he-was-elected-mayor-of-newburn-alabama/

I'm pretty sure that's a plot straight out of a Saturday morning cartoon.

Lokarin posted...

Texas worker accused of being on drugs was actually dying of heatstroke

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/jul/20/texas-construction-worker-death-lawsuit-greg-abbott

I know this story is technically a month old, but I found a follow-up recently... the man did not survive

:<

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/man-gimp-suit-shakespeares-globe-children-b2380638.html

Man in gimp suit allowed to watch Shakespeares Globe play with children in audience

Officer who put woman in police car hit by train didnt know it was on the tracks, defense says

https://apnews.com/article/train-tracks-patrol-car-police-trial-350e887e7e20c6b24aa705afe6d9c2e3

I remember seeing that on Audit the audit

A man drowned as Tennessee police watched for 13 minutes, lawsuit says

-Private citizens wanted to help the man, but officers allegedly warned them not to do so

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2023/07/28/knoxville-police-drowning-lawsuit/

Lokarin posted...

A man drowned as Tennessee police watched for 13 minutes, lawsuit says

-Private citizens wanted to help the man, but officers allegedly warned them not to do so

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2023/07/28/knoxville-police-drowning-lawsuit/

She's not going to win the lawsuit. The Supreme Court rules that cops don't have to protect anybody.