Poll of the Day > Not the Onion 2023 edition - silly news and bungery

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Lokarin
02/16/23 3:21:10 PM
#51:


Japan sees its number of islands double after recount

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/feb/16/japan-sees-its-number-of-islands-double-after-recount

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streamofthesky
02/17/23 5:01:32 PM
#52:


School decides that urinals are transphobic:

https://nhjournal.com/milford-trans-policy-fight-could-nix-school-urinals/

Anti-vaxer Karens try to make it a crime to give people COVID vaccines:

https://www.ktvb.com/article/news/local/capitol-watch/idaho-lawmakers-introduce-legislation-to-criminalize- those-who-administer-covid-vaccines-legislature/277-2436a514-e7da-4b31-9762-f9be10300075

(remove the space for the link to work; vintage GameFAQS)
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Lokarin
02/20/23 3:55:45 AM
#53:


Texas 3rd grader finds gun Superintendent left in the bathroom.

https://www.everythinglubbock.com/news/state-regional/texas-3rd-grader-finds-gun-superintendent-left-in-school-bathroom/

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Lokarin
02/20/23 12:44:19 PM
#54:


American military bested by Canadian pigs

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/feb/20/us-threat-canada-super-pig-boar

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Lokarin
02/21/23 4:12:55 PM
#55:


Tennesse Bill legalizes drunk cops

https://www.fox13memphis.com/news/tennessee-bill-would-allow-officers -to-carry-guns-while-under-the-influence/article _ace4adec-b160-11ed-838a-0fbfba4380b7.html

*delete the spaces... thanks gamefaqs*

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Far-Queue
02/23/23 8:42:02 AM
#56:


Mississippi governor unsure if providing mothers with 12 months of postpartum health care would help them:

https://mississippitoday.org/2023/02/21/tate-reeves-postpartum-medicaid-extension/

Gotta love these abortion banning hypocrites who claim they care about the welfare of unborn fetal tissue, yet fight any progress that would help the babies and their families once they're born

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Lokarin
02/23/23 4:36:19 PM
#57:


Wow

https://news.sky.com/story/alaskan-politician-david-eastman-censured-after-suggesting-fatal-child-abuse-could-be-cost-saving-12817693

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Lokarin
02/24/23 12:46:38 AM
#58:


British environmental secretary says if you want food, just work harder

https://www.upday.com/uk/eat-turnips-instead-of-tomatoes-during-shortages-environment-secretary-says

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TRMDYL
02/24/23 3:30:26 AM
#59:


Lokarin posted...
I had some fancy dinner for ma aunts birthday... now I got a mad stummy ache; Kobe and scallops was too much

Anyways: The taliban simps for tate

https://www.newsweek.com/taliban-worried-about-andrew-tate-they-ask-his-freedom-1770693

Trump BaD! TaTE BaD!!1 MuSk Badd!!

Biden Goood!!11 *drools*

This new generation is why we can't have good things. You deserve a complete meltdown you're headed for and I'm just happy to watch from afar and laugh at your asses.

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Metalsonic66
02/24/23 8:17:12 AM
#60:


https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/6/7/3/AAFUswAAENsh.jpg

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Far-Queue
02/24/23 9:30:41 AM
#61:


lmao

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Lokarin
02/24/23 11:57:43 PM
#62:


MTG proposes democrats not be allowed to vote in red states

https://ourgeneration.news/news/marjorie-taylor-greene-proposes-unconstitutional-restriction-on-democrats-voting-in-red-states

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Lokarin
02/25/23 3:16:41 PM
#63:


Jordan Peterson mocked for complaining about toilet paper

https://www.newsweek.com/jordan-peterson-mocked-complaining-about-toilet-paper-tyranny-1783426

Quote from the article: Activist Charlotte Clymer responded: "Sir, you don't need paper towels. You seem pretty self-absorbed."

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Lokarin
02/25/23 10:53:15 PM
#64:


City damages man's bridge, refuses to pay damages

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7CYTq1nOT4

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Lokarin
02/26/23 8:47:39 PM
#65:


Man shoots himself with concealed weapon after fleeing from loud noise

https://www.wral.com/raleigh-police-man-accidentally-shoots-self-at-crabtree-valley-mall/20736559/

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Lokarin
02/27/23 7:26:26 PM
#66:


Florida puts forward its approved list of books... mispells fifth and twelfth

https://www.firstcoastnews.com/article/news/local/list-over-350-books-approved -by-florida-department-of-education/77-da387243-562d-4866-b42d-df8bdd80d3ec

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#67
Post #67 was unavailable or deleted.
Lokarin
02/27/23 9:23:37 PM
#68:


John Oliver explains to fox news host that Julia Roberts is not the same person as Erin Brockovich

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/john-oliver-fox-news-host-julia-roberts-erin-brockovich-1235335299/

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Lokarin
02/28/23 8:33:02 PM
#69:


Wisconsin uses child slave labour for hazardous work

https://www.jsonline.com/story/money/business/2023/02/28/wisconsin-company-employed-100-children-in-meat-packing-plant-jobs/69953196007/

EDIT: Also!

Florida to pass bill removing the Democrats

https://www.wesh.com/article/ultimate-cancel-act-florida-democratic-party/43125234

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slacker03150
02/28/23 8:41:50 PM
#70:


Lokarin posted...
https://www.wesh.com/article/ultimate-cancel-act-florida-democratic-party/43125234
I'm OK with this, because I'm pretty sure legal teams could get the Republicans on this as well and no parties in Florida sounds like fun.

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Lokarin
02/28/23 10:46:41 PM
#71:


slacker03150 posted...
I'm OK with this, because I'm pretty sure legal teams could get the Republicans on this as well and no parties in Florida sounds like fun.

the top response on r/nottheonion to this is that if passed it would disband 100% of republicans and only 23% of democrats

:L

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Lokarin
02/28/23 11:19:20 PM
#72:


Wow, hat trick for Florida today

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/florida-train-derailment-propane-today-b2291539.html

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Lokarin
03/03/23 3:18:41 PM
#73:


Governor decries derailment after vetoing rail safety bill

https://www.levernews.com/email/b7aacdb2-7382-42be-800a-a907d71b25d9/

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Lokarin
03/04/23 6:43:28 AM
#74:


DeSantis appointee says water turns you gay

https://www.cnn.com/2023/03/03/politics/kfile-ron-desantis-disney-ron-peri-anti-lgbtq/index.html

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Nade_Duck
03/04/23 8:45:44 AM
#75:


water like out the toilet?

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Lokarin
03/05/23 9:56:42 AM
#76:


King's coronation 'holy oil' will not contain holy oil ingredients

https://www.insider.com/king-charles-iiis-coronation-oil-wont-contain-sperm-whale-intestinal-wax-2023-3

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Lokarin
03/06/23 9:25:43 PM
#77:


Canadian bigot can't get out of prison because he refuses to stop offending.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/derek-reimer-calgary-drag-storytime-protest-criminal-charges-court-bail-1.6769578

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Lokarin
03/07/23 8:34:52 PM
#78:


Housing/Medical crisis?

https://www.ksl.com/article/50594581/utah-man-robbed-bank-of-just-1-then-waited-to-be-arrested-police-say

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Lokarin
03/08/23 3:29:43 PM
#79:


Elon Musk fucks over disabled employee... finds out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIq9z0HXxDE

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LinkPizza
03/08/23 7:19:57 PM
#80:


Guess Im being sued

https://time.com/3848666/nebraska-woman-sues-gays/

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Zareth
03/08/23 8:46:48 PM
#81:


LinkPizza posted...
Guess Im being sued

https://time.com/3848666/nebraska-woman-sues-gays/
Those legal fees must be of biblical proportions

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Lokarin
03/09/23 7:52:49 PM
#82:


West Virginia shoots down child marriage ban

https://apnews.com/article/child-marriage-west-virginia-bill-defeated-4d822a23b5ffd70f5370a36cc914cfb0

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streamofthesky
03/13/23 1:47:20 AM
#83:


https://deadstate.org/man-who-spray-painted-groomer-on-libraries-is-arrested-and-charged-with-possessing-child-porn/

It's nice when the words in the link do all of the explanation for you
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Lokarin
03/14/23 2:02:07 AM
#84:


A little bit of lazy journalism... it's raining worms in China!!! (but they're not worms, they're poplar spawn)

https://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/china-battered-by-rain-of-worms-as-residents-asked-to-carry-umbrellas/TA2W7PV5QFFSFHOWMOGOFJUQIA/

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Lokarin
03/15/23 9:01:50 AM
#85:


Space added suz censor bypass... thanks gamefaqs

https://www.newsweek.com/oklahoma-republicans-vote-let-teahers-h it-kids-disabilities-1787784

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slacker03150
03/15/23 2:29:57 PM
#86:


Lokarin posted...
Space added suz censor bypass... thanks gamefaqs

https://www.newsweek.com/oklahoma-republicans-vote-let-teahers-h it-kids-disabilities-1787784

https://twitter.com/therecount/status/1635698378637017089?s=20
This is just sick.

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#87
Post #87 was unavailable or deleted.
Lokarin
03/15/23 6:23:31 PM
#88:


Affordable housing counseller forced to resign cuz they couldn't afford their house.

https://www.newportri.com/story/news/local/2023/03/13/middletown-affordable-housing-committee-member-chris-bove-resigns/69980397007/

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Lokarin
03/16/23 12:33:38 AM
#89:


Pollution proven to cause "the gay", what will republicans do now?

https://www.mpg.de/19975894/0307-choe-air-pollution-impairs-successful-mating-of-flies-155371-x

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Lokarin
03/16/23 8:48:22 AM
#90:


Geez America...

Supreme Court had to rule that paid time off doesn't count as salary

https://www.reuters.com/legal/litigation/paid-time-off-is-not-part-workers-salary-us-court-rules-2023-03-15/?utm_source=reddit.com

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streamofthesky
03/16/23 10:59:46 AM
#91:


https://www.kiro7.com/news/trending/newark-enters-sister-city-relationship-with-country-that-doesnt-exist/2RUYGXBPIVCMVNLAWAUILMCFS4/#
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Lokarin
03/16/23 11:17:46 AM
#92:


https://www.gizmochina.com/2023/03/16/ai-hire-a-human-to-solve-captcha/

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Lokarin
03/16/23 11:50:02 AM
#93:


Pastor who literally said he would re-offend... re-offends

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/calgary-drag-protest-arrest-1.6780251

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Lokarin
03/18/23 3:35:11 PM
#94:


CNN team studying street crime robbed

https://www.pennlive.com/nation-world/2023/03/cnn-team-robbed-while-working-on-story-about-street-crime.html

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Lokarin
03/19/23 5:17:10 PM
#95:


Taliban sulking that they have to do office work...

https://time.com/6263906/taliban-afghanistan-office-work-quiet-quit/

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Lokarin
03/21/23 5:27:18 PM
#96:


Police break into woman's home, complain it's dirty and then arrest her cuz she was drinking and watching baseball in her own home

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANY21q8lr78

Their police chief resigned because of this at least

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Lokarin
03/23/23 5:22:08 PM
#97:


Police raid Afroman's home... sue him for not giving consent to being recorded by security cameras

https://www.fox19.com/2023/03/22/afroman-sued-by-law-enforcment-officers-who-raided-his-home/

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Metalsonic66
03/23/23 5:37:03 PM
#98:


Wow

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Lokarin
03/24/23 10:57:57 PM
#99:


state orders man to not love tofu

https://local12.com/news/offbeat/state-orders-remove-luvtofu-license-plate-vulgar-personalized -tags-offensive-inappropriate-appeal-hearing-denied-rejected-government-property-poland-maine

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Lokarin
03/25/23 6:19:06 AM
#100:


Man gets life in prison due to testimony of pet parrot

https://www.indiatoday.in/india/story/man-convicted-of-2014-murder-with-parrots-testimony-gets-life-in-jail-2351028-2023-03-24

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