Poll of the Day > Not the Onion 2023 edition - silly news and bungery

(+) Yeah! (+)

Japan sees its number of islands double after recount

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/feb/16/japan-sees-its-number-of-islands-double-after-recount

School decides that urinals are transphobic:

https://nhjournal.com/milford-trans-policy-fight-could-nix-school-urinals/

Anti-vaxer Karens try to make it a crime to give people COVID vaccines:

https://www.ktvb.com/article/news/local/capitol-watch/idaho-lawmakers-introduce-legislation-to-criminalize- those-who-administer-covid-vaccines-legislature/277-2436a514-e7da-4b31-9762-f9be10300075

(remove the space for the link to work; vintage GameFAQS)

Texas 3rd grader finds gun Superintendent left in the bathroom.

https://www.everythinglubbock.com/news/state-regional/texas-3rd-grader-finds-gun-superintendent-left-in-school-bathroom/

American military bested by Canadian pigs

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/feb/20/us-threat-canada-super-pig-boar

Tennesse Bill legalizes drunk cops

https://www.fox13memphis.com/news/tennessee-bill-would-allow-officers -to-carry-guns-while-under-the-influence/article _ace4adec-b160-11ed-838a-0fbfba4380b7.html

*delete the spaces... thanks gamefaqs*

Mississippi governor unsure if providing mothers with 12 months of postpartum health care would help them:

https://mississippitoday.org/2023/02/21/tate-reeves-postpartum-medicaid-extension/

Gotta love these abortion banning hypocrites who claim they care about the welfare of unborn fetal tissue, yet fight any progress that would help the babies and their families once they're born

Wow

https://news.sky.com/story/alaskan-politician-david-eastman-censured-after-suggesting-fatal-child-abuse-could-be-cost-saving-12817693

British environmental secretary says if you want food, just work harder

https://www.upday.com/uk/eat-turnips-instead-of-tomatoes-during-shortages-environment-secretary-says

Lokarin posted...

I had some fancy dinner for ma aunts birthday... now I got a mad stummy ache; Kobe and scallops was too much

Anyways: The taliban simps for tate

https://www.newsweek.com/taliban-worried-about-andrew-tate-they-ask-his-freedom-1770693

Trump BaD! TaTE BaD!!1 MuSk Badd!!

Biden Goood!!11 *drools*

This new generation is why we can't have good things. You deserve a complete meltdown you're headed for and I'm just happy to watch from afar and laugh at your asses.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/6/7/3/AAFUswAAENsh.jpg

lmao

MTG proposes democrats not be allowed to vote in red states

https://ourgeneration.news/news/marjorie-taylor-greene-proposes-unconstitutional-restriction-on-democrats-voting-in-red-states

Jordan Peterson mocked for complaining about toilet paper

https://www.newsweek.com/jordan-peterson-mocked-complaining-about-toilet-paper-tyranny-1783426

Quote from the article: Activist Charlotte Clymer responded: "Sir, you don't need paper towels. You seem pretty self-absorbed."

City damages man's bridge, refuses to pay damages

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7CYTq1nOT4

Man shoots himself with concealed weapon after fleeing from loud noise

https://www.wral.com/raleigh-police-man-accidentally-shoots-self-at-crabtree-valley-mall/20736559/

Florida puts forward its approved list of books... mispells fifth and twelfth

https://www.firstcoastnews.com/article/news/local/list-over-350-books-approved -by-florida-department-of-education/77-da387243-562d-4866-b42d-df8bdd80d3ec

John Oliver explains to fox news host that Julia Roberts is not the same person as Erin Brockovich

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv/tv-news/john-oliver-fox-news-host-julia-roberts-erin-brockovich-1235335299/

Wisconsin uses child slave labour for hazardous work

https://www.jsonline.com/story/money/business/2023/02/28/wisconsin-company-employed-100-children-in-meat-packing-plant-jobs/69953196007/

EDIT: Also!

Florida to pass bill removing the Democrats

https://www.wesh.com/article/ultimate-cancel-act-florida-democratic-party/43125234

Lokarin posted...

https://www.wesh.com/article/ultimate-cancel-act-florida-democratic-party/43125234

I'm OK with this, because I'm pretty sure legal teams could get the Republicans on this as well and no parties in Florida sounds like fun.

slacker03150 posted...

I'm OK with this, because I'm pretty sure legal teams could get the Republicans on this as well and no parties in Florida sounds like fun.

the top response on r/nottheonion to this is that if passed it would disband 100% of republicans and only 23% of democrats

:L

Wow, hat trick for Florida today

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/florida-train-derailment-propane-today-b2291539.html

Governor decries derailment after vetoing rail safety bill

https://www.levernews.com/email/b7aacdb2-7382-42be-800a-a907d71b25d9/

DeSantis appointee says water turns you gay

https://www.cnn.com/2023/03/03/politics/kfile-ron-desantis-disney-ron-peri-anti-lgbtq/index.html

water like out the toilet?

King's coronation 'holy oil' will not contain holy oil ingredients

https://www.insider.com/king-charles-iiis-coronation-oil-wont-contain-sperm-whale-intestinal-wax-2023-3

Canadian bigot can't get out of prison because he refuses to stop offending.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/derek-reimer-calgary-drag-storytime-protest-criminal-charges-court-bail-1.6769578

Housing/Medical crisis?

https://www.ksl.com/article/50594581/utah-man-robbed-bank-of-just-1-then-waited-to-be-arrested-police-say

Elon Musk fucks over disabled employee... finds out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIq9z0HXxDE

Guess Im being sued

https://time.com/3848666/nebraska-woman-sues-gays/

LinkPizza posted...

Guess Im being sued

https://time.com/3848666/nebraska-woman-sues-gays/

Those legal fees must be of biblical proportions

West Virginia shoots down child marriage ban

https://apnews.com/article/child-marriage-west-virginia-bill-defeated-4d822a23b5ffd70f5370a36cc914cfb0

https://deadstate.org/man-who-spray-painted-groomer-on-libraries-is-arrested-and-charged-with-possessing-child-porn/

It's nice when the words in the link do all of the explanation for you

A little bit of lazy journalism... it's raining worms in China!!! (but they're not worms, they're poplar spawn)

https://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/china-battered-by-rain-of-worms-as-residents-asked-to-carry-umbrellas/TA2W7PV5QFFSFHOWMOGOFJUQIA/

Space added suz censor bypass... thanks gamefaqs

https://www.newsweek.com/oklahoma-republicans-vote-let-teahers-h it-kids-disabilities-1787784

Lokarin posted...

Space added suz censor bypass... thanks gamefaqs

https://www.newsweek.com/oklahoma-republicans-vote-let-teahers-h it-kids-disabilities-1787784

https://twitter.com/therecount/status/1635698378637017089?s=20
This is just sick.

Affordable housing counseller forced to resign cuz they couldn't afford their house.

https://www.newportri.com/story/news/local/2023/03/13/middletown-affordable-housing-committee-member-chris-bove-resigns/69980397007/

Pollution proven to cause "the gay", what will republicans do now?

https://www.mpg.de/19975894/0307-choe-air-pollution-impairs-successful-mating-of-flies-155371-x

Geez America...

Supreme Court had to rule that paid time off doesn't count as salary

https://www.reuters.com/legal/litigation/paid-time-off-is-not-part-workers-salary-us-court-rules-2023-03-15/?utm_source=reddit.com

https://www.kiro7.com/news/trending/newark-enters-sister-city-relationship-with-country-that-doesnt-exist/2RUYGXBPIVCMVNLAWAUILMCFS4/#

https://www.gizmochina.com/2023/03/16/ai-hire-a-human-to-solve-captcha/

Pastor who literally said he would re-offend... re-offends

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/calgary-drag-protest-arrest-1.6780251

CNN team studying street crime robbed

https://www.pennlive.com/nation-world/2023/03/cnn-team-robbed-while-working-on-story-about-street-crime.html

Taliban sulking that they have to do office work...

https://time.com/6263906/taliban-afghanistan-office-work-quiet-quit/