Poll of the Day > Not the Onion 2023 edition - silly news and bungery

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Lokarin
01/01/23 11:31:20 AM
#1:


Hersheys being sued for not disclosing some of their dark chocolate has lead and/or cadmium in it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrK1N0IfBB0

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Lokarin
01/04/23 5:00:42 AM
#2:


I had some fancy dinner for ma aunts birthday... now I got a mad stummy ache; Kobe and scallops was too much

Anyways: The taliban simps for tate

https://www.newsweek.com/taliban-worried-about-andrew-tate-they-ask-his-freedom-1770693

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Lokarin
01/05/23 8:21:06 PM
#3:


Wisconsin is clogged with fat

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/dairy-plant-fire-melted-butter-clogs-storm-drains-portage-canal-wisconsin/

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Metalsonic66
01/05/23 11:53:18 PM
#4:


Same

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streamofthesky
01/06/23 1:38:06 AM
#5:


https://www.vice.com/en/article/m7gdny/man-legally-changed-gender-to-gain-custody-of-his-kids-trans-groups-are-concerned

The trans-rights movement has been the greatest thing to happen for gender equality in decades.
I love that people are upset she used the laws in supposed "bad faith", and not that the child custody laws are blatantly sexist.
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Lokarin
01/07/23 2:02:50 AM
#6:


School shooting by a 6 year old

https://www.cbsnews.com/live-updates/richneck-elementary-school-shooting-newport-news-virginia/

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Johnny_Eagle
01/07/23 9:02:07 AM
#7:


Lokarin posted...
School shooting by a 6 year old

https://www.cbsnews.com/live-updates/richneck-elementary-school-shooting-newport-news-virginia/

.................what is this world coming to?

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Lokarin
01/07/23 5:24:30 PM
#8:


for the funny ones, remember the rule is to come up with a funny tag line

:

Wells Fargo pisses your money away

https://www.channelnewsasia.com/business/wells-fargo-sacks-top-banking-executive-urinating-plane-passenger-3188221

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Lokarin
01/08/23 5:08:01 AM
#9:


If you die in the game you die for real

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/9/6/7/AADnJsAAEEfX.jpg

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slacker03150
01/10/23 2:04:14 AM
#10:


Art history teacher fired for teaching art history.

https://news.artnet.com/art-world/professor-terminated-art-history-paintings-muhammad-2238922/amp-page

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Lokarin
01/10/23 4:20:43 AM
#11:


slacker03150 posted...
Art history teacher fired for teaching art history.

https://news.artnet.com/art-world/professor-terminated-art-history-paintings-muhammad-2238922/amp-page

that's funny

Art Teacher: "Islam is not a monolith, there were sects ok with this"

One Muslim: "This is Islamophobia and offensive to all muslims throughout time and space REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

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LinkPizza
01/10/23 8:31:57 AM
#12:


She did give them time to opt out of seeing it Why didnt anyone who didnt want to see it leave? I feel that would have been better than staying, and getting mad about it

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streamofthesky
01/10/23 9:50:44 AM
#13:


https://www.wlj.net/top_headlines/report-claims-candy-cereal-are-healthier-than-beef-pork/article_44c1fcd0-1fd7-11ed-850a-db38897b42ab.html

Processed sugary junk food is healthier than meat. lulz, yeah sure

LinkPizza posted...
She did give them time to opt out of seeing it Why didnt anyone who didnt want to see it leave? I feel that would have been better than staying, and getting mad about it
Because then the student (it was one singular cry-bully) wouldn't get her 5 minutes of fame and the teacher wouldn't have been fired.
Saw about this on the politics board. The Muslim groups couldn't help themselves from comparing the respectful depiction of Mohammed (painted by a Muslim, mind you) to having a class on why hitler did some good things, actually.
Really made my blood boil.
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adjl
01/10/23 10:17:31 AM
#14:


What gets me about the whole "don't depict Muhammad" thing is that the root concern is that doing so risks presenting the depiction as an idol and distracting from the things Muhammad represents. At its core, that's a moderately sensible philosophy, but to go from that to "anyone who depicts Muhammad must be made to suffer, regardless of the context" just makes no sense, especially when it's non-Muslims doing so who are neither supposed to be worshipping Muhammad nor are in any risk of worshipping the depiction as an idol.

If anything, it seems that some Muslims worship the absence of depictions of Muhammad as an idol, above what he actually represents.

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Lokarin
01/11/23 4:05:16 PM
#15:


Cow burglars?

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/fugitive-cows-in-quebec-captured-and-returned-home-after-months-on-the-run-1.6707827

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Zareth
01/11/23 8:38:20 PM
#16:


adjl posted...
If anything, it seems that some Muslims worship the absence of depictions of Muhammad as an idol, above what he actually represents.
This is absolutely true

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Lokarin
01/12/23 1:56:16 PM
#17:


geico not responsible for girl getting std in car

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/geico-std-car-5-million-award-vacated-by-judges/

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Johnny_Eagle
01/14/23 1:03:22 PM
#18:


One wonders how Geico was supposed to be responsible for such a thing in the first place...


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Lokarin
01/15/23 1:34:57 PM
#19:


Women lawmakers in Missouri no longer allowed to show forearms

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/jan/14/missouri-female-legislators-clothing-debate-week-in-patriarchy

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slacker03150
01/15/23 7:08:38 PM
#20:


^if the south tries to leave the union, can we just let them this time?

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Lokarin
01/17/23 12:48:42 AM
#21:


Conspiracy theorist says conspiracy theorists shouldn't be on committees

https://www.newsweek.com/lauren-boebert-conspiracy-theorists-intel-committee-schiff-swalwell-1774041

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Sufferedphoneix
01/17/23 6:40:34 AM
#22:


Lokarin posted...
Conspiracy theorist says conspiracy theorists shouldn't be on committees

https://www.newsweek.com/lauren-boebert-conspiracy-theorists-intel-committee-schiff-swalwell-1774041

Hey some people are seldom aware. Like ill tell you point blank I ain't fit to govern a country. My job has cause me to have very little sympathy for idiots.

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Metalsonic66
01/17/23 5:55:29 PM
#23:


Reminds me of Epic's "Grungification"

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streamofthesky
01/17/23 8:48:28 PM
#24:


16 year old tests out brand new VR Grand Theft Auto game

https://www.cbsnews.com/chicago/news/teen-charged-dozen-carjackings-south-southwest-sides/
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Lokarin
01/20/23 9:20:30 PM
#25:


Metal Gear!

https://www.extremetech.com/extreme/342413-us-marines-defeat-darpa-robot-by-hiding-under-a-cardboard-box

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Sufferedphoneix
01/21/23 6:24:24 AM
#26:


Lokarin posted...
Metal Gear!

https://www.extremetech.com/extreme/342413-us-marines-defeat-darpa-robot-by-hiding-under-a-cardboard-box

Kojima predicts the future again

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Lokarin
01/24/23 10:23:40 AM
#27:


Republicans mad at xbox changes

https://www.newsweek.com/microsoft-changes-xbox-console-climate-change-republicans-ted-cruz-1776054

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slacker03150
01/24/23 1:22:49 PM
#28:


Lokarin posted...
Republicans mad at xbox changes

https://www.newsweek.com/microsoft-changes-xbox-console-climate-change-republicans-ted-cruz-1776054
I don't understand people who are mad at energy efficiency.

No! I want to pay more in gas/power!

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Lokarin
01/26/23 1:15:37 PM
#29:


Louisana prisoners are overstaying their welcom...

https://www.cnn.com/2023/01/25/politics/louisiana-department-of-correction-justice-department/index.html

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Metalsonic66
01/26/23 2:32:42 PM
#30:


https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/5/7/AAFUswAAEIBx.jpg

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Lokarin
01/26/23 5:52:17 PM
#31:


AI Lawyer forced to quit from threats from "big legal"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-gvArVKfUM

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Lokarin
01/28/23 11:57:21 AM
#32:


Federal agent used government car for uber/lyft

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usROouji2OE

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Lokarin
01/29/23 7:16:36 PM
#33:


Florida schools remove ALL books to stay state compliant

https://www.news4jax.com/news/local/2023/01/27/parents-react-to-empty-classroom-library-shelves-as-dcps-continues-book-review/

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Lokarin
02/02/23 9:19:26 PM
#34:


Groundhog Day disaster in Canada

https://www.insider.com/groundhog-day-quebec-fred-la-marmotte-dies-before-making-prediction-2023-2

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Metalsonic66
02/02/23 9:27:44 PM
#35:


Not again!

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Lokarin
02/04/23 5:07:11 AM
#36:


https://variety.com/2023/tv/global/netflix-squid-game-reality-show-frozen-inhumane-welfare-1235511809/

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Zangrief
02/04/23 6:19:57 AM
#37:


Lokarin posted...
Groundhog Day disaster in Canada

https://www.insider.com/groundhog-day-quebec-fred-la-marmotte-dies-before-making-prediction-2023-2

that just means they prodict endless winter winter apolxalpse
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Lokarin
02/06/23 8:37:09 AM
#38:


Lauren Boebert dismayed America 'only' owns 46% of the world's guns

https://www.newsweek.com/lauren-boebert-dismayed-americans-only-own-46-percent-worlds-firearms-1778382

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Lokarin
02/07/23 9:56:21 AM
#39:


Monkey Love Mystery solved.... it was a glory hole!

https://geartape.com/japanese-zoo-solves-mystery-of-isolated-gibbons-pregnancy/

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Metalsonic66
02/07/23 4:56:13 PM
#40:


There is no glory here

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Lokarin
02/08/23 9:00:10 AM
#41:


montana to ban science

https://www.mtpr.org/montana-news/2023-02-07/bill-would-ban-the-teaching-of-scientific-theories-in-montana-schools

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Lokarin
02/09/23 6:21:06 PM
#42:


Misery votes against banning guns from children

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/feb/09/missouri-rejects-ban-children-carrying-guns-in-public

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Lokarin
02/09/23 9:49:21 PM
#43:


George Santos steals puppies

https://www.cnbc.com/2023/02/09/george-santos-was-charged-with-theft-in-dog-case.html

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Lokarin
02/10/23 3:55:32 PM
#44:


Man kills when MRI sets off his gun

https://www.kiro7.com/news/trending/lawyer-dies-after-he-is-shot-by-gun-that-was-triggered-by-mri-scanner/AVXLS5PGDZC7PL4HZUIT3EDURU/

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Zangrief
02/10/23 4:18:50 PM
#45:


Lokarin posted...
Man kills when MRI sets off his gun

https://www.kiro7.com/news/trending/lawyer-dies-after-he-is-shot-by-gun-that-was-triggered-by-mri-scanner/AVXLS5PGDZC7PL4HZUIT3EDURU/

Oh he died? I saw the story when it was new. If only a good mri machine with a gun had been there to stop the bad mri machine with a gun.
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Zareth
02/10/23 4:25:39 PM
#46:


Who thought keeping their gun on for an MRI was a good idea, Darwin Award right there

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Lokarin
02/10/23 4:26:43 PM
#47:


Zareth posted...
Who thought keeping their gun on for an MRI was a good idea, Darwin Award right there

he wasn't IN the MRI, but ya - he fudged the risk consent form

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Lokarin
02/12/23 8:55:57 PM
#48:


Oompa Loompa beware the OSHA

https://apnews.com/article/occupational-safety-and-health-administration-pennsylvania-business-c434508ff07c5fdc3bbeb6c23b130d40

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Lokarin
02/14/23 1:10:18 PM
#49:


Man accidentally shoots friend thinking his gun was unloaded... for the 10th time

https://geartape.com/man-accidentally-shoots-friend-thinking-the-gun-was-unloaded-like-previous-10-times-he-pointed-it-as-a-joke/

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Lokarin
02/16/23 3:57:39 AM
#50:


Lesbian mom loses child and wife to baby's sperm dono

https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/lesbian-mom-loses-parental-rights-wife-childs-sperm-donor-rcna70884

BONUS:

Utah shoots down bill requiring golf courses to report how much water they use

https://www.sltrib.com/news/environment/2023/02/15/utah-lawmakers-say-more/

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