Poll of the Day > Not the Onion 2023 edition - silly news and bungery

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Johnny_Eagle
03/25/23 11:48:07 AM
#101:


Lokarin posted...
Man gets life in prison due to testimony of pet parrot

https://www.indiatoday.in/india/story/man-convicted-of-2014-murder-with-parrots-testimony-gets-life-in-jail-2351028-2023-03-24

*Ace Attorney reference here*

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OHJOY90
03/25/23 1:14:58 PM
#102:


Johnny_Eagle posted...
*Ace Attorney reference here*
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/3/4/2/AAHJwsAAEUNO.png

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Lokarin
03/25/23 6:47:08 PM
#103:


City illegally builds bike path on man's land, cutting down his trees and destroying his property, then gaslights him

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5suTSzxGyOw

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Lokarin
03/26/23 12:00:59 AM
#104:


high school dropout Lauren Boebert wants to shut down the Department of Education

https://old.reddit.com/r/nottheonion/comments/121qihu/lauren_boebert_says_she_wants_to_abolish_the/

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Lokarin
03/26/23 10:09:37 PM
#105:


Hershey's gives in to the anti-woke crowd.... removes lead and cadmium from their candy

https://www.ctvnews.ca/business/hershey-looking-to-remove-lead-cadmium-from-chocolate-1.6327184

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OHJOY90
03/27/23 2:47:19 PM
#106:


Cowards, lol. How about skittles?

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Lokarin
03/28/23 1:45:33 AM
#107:


Update to the parrot story

https://geartape.com/pet-parrots-testimony-lands-two-in-life-imprisonment-for-2014-murder/

it got TWO in prison

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Lokarin
03/30/23 6:19:13 AM
#108:


Corporatist DeSantis malding over how Disney corporation has more power than Florida

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/os-ne-disney-new-reedy-creek-board-powerless-20230329-qalagcs4wjfe3iwkpzjsz2v4qm-story.html

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Lokarin
03/30/23 12:15:22 PM
#109:


oh hey, LOCAL news...

https://albertapolitics.ca/2023/03/premier-threatens-cbc-for-reporting-her-own-words- in-phone-conversation-with-anti-vaxx-pastor-facing-criminal-charges/

WTF premiere

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Lokarin
03/30/23 1:29:25 PM
#110:


Chicago demands person pays red light ticket on car that isn't theirs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HHyBGepaiI

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Lokarin
04/01/23 2:32:49 PM
#111:


Bay area POLICE UNION LEADER mass smuggled Fentanyl

https://abcnews.go.com/US/bay-area-police-union-leader-allegedly-smuggled-fentanyl/story?id=98271260

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Lokarin
04/01/23 3:19:20 PM
#112:


county fair kidnaps 9yo's goat to slaughter it, is eaten by governor

https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2023-03-30/goat-slaughter-shasta-county-fair

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Lokarin
04/04/23 9:06:52 AM
#113:


YouTube prank gets youtuber shot

https://www.wusa9.com/article/news/local/virginia/dulles-center-mall-shooting-victim-says-he-was-recording -youtube-video-before-gunshot/65-62e40a24-847c-4d01-8696-0d9696bcbcba

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slacker03150
04/04/23 9:21:44 AM
#114:


Lokarin posted...
YouTube prank gets youtuber shot

https://www.wusa9.com/article/news/local/virginia/dulles-center-mall-shooting-victim-says-he-was-recording -youtube-video-before-gunshot/65-62e40a24-847c-4d01-8696-0d9696bcbcba
I looked up his YouTube account to see what he considers pranks
"Asking strangers to play naked twister"
"Stealing beds from mattress store"
"Taking rackets from tennis players"
"Taking peoples groceries"
"Fake target thug"
"Fake vomiting on Uber drivers"
"Barking in people's ears"
"Accusing people of buying alcohol for minors"
"Firing employees at stores I don't work at"
Guy is a moron.

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Lokarin
04/05/23 4:38:02 PM
#115:


Iowa legalizes child labour, to help save money on their child labour penalties for working children too hard

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vhzDS9Xpno

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Lokarin
04/06/23 10:10:12 AM
#116:


Police break into wrong person's hotel room, cuff him and store him in bathroom for 40 minutes before saying "oops"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4W5k1q05W8

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Sufferedphoneix
04/06/23 10:20:18 AM
#117:


Lokarin posted...
Police break into wrong person's hotel room, cuff him and store him in bathroom for 40 minutes before saying "oops"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4W5k1q05W8

I mean that coulda gone a lot worse with cops track record. I'm just a CO but I have a right to detain someone if a felony was believed to have occurred. Policy states though the moment I have no reason to believe they are guilty I gotta let em go.

To note it would be a helluva situation for me to exercise that right. When I'm off work I'm off work.

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LinkPizza
04/06/23 1:48:03 PM
#118:


White supremacist groups aim to recruit US Military members to attack minorities

https://www.rawstory.com/amp/atomwaffen-2659742184

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Lokarin
04/07/23 11:45:24 AM
#119:


Us Judge accepting bribes rules in favour of accepting bribes

https://www.newsweek.com/clarence-thomas-ruled-bribery-cases-vacations-republican-donors-1793088

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Lokarin
04/07/23 9:39:51 PM
#120:


Senators vote to increase their own meal reimbursements after rejecting school lunches

https://bismarcktribune.com/news/local/education/north-dakota-senators-vote-to-boost- their-own-meal-reimbursements-after-rejecting-free-school- lunch/article_6739574c-d542-11ed-8d91-476ec897331b.html

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Lokarin
04/08/23 9:57:01 PM
#121:


Report of man with a long rifle... turned out to be Boba Fett

https://www.cbsnews.com/boston/news/long-rifle-back-bay-station-person-in-star-wars-costume-boba-fett/

Yaknow, for a nation that loves their guns y'all seem to be AFRAID of guns... maybe you just like being afraid.

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Lokarin
04/09/23 3:25:35 AM
#122:


New Mexico police kill a man, then find out they were at the wrong address

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/apr/08/new-mexico-police-shooting-farmington

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Lokarin
04/09/23 11:37:27 PM
#123:


Sussex mathematicians finally discover orgasm formula

https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/23439778.university-sussex-mathematicians-create-formula-orgasms/

sus? sex?

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Revelation34
04/09/23 11:41:50 PM
#124:


Lokarin posted...
Report of man with a long rifle... turned out to be Boba Fett

https://www.cbsnews.com/boston/news/long-rifle-back-bay-station-person-in-star-wars-costume-boba-fett/

Yaknow, for a nation that loves their guns y'all seem to be AFRAID of guns... maybe you just like being afraid.


The cops didn't try to slam Boba Fett on the ground?

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Lokarin
04/09/23 11:58:16 PM
#125:


Kanye...

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/ye-only-fed-students-sushi-donda-academy-no-classes-2nd-floor-was-afra-rcna78586


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Revelation34
04/10/23 2:15:58 AM
#126:


Lokarin posted...
Kanye...

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/ye-only-fed-students-sushi-donda-academy-no-classes-2nd-floor-was-afra-rcna78586



Sushi is delicious.

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Lokarin
04/10/23 10:20:43 PM
#127:


This is ALMOST worth its own topic...

Truck containing contaminated soil from the East Palestine derailment... crashed and contaminated more area

https://www.wkbn.com/news/local-news/east-palestine-train-derailment/truck-carrying-toxic-soil-from-east-palestine-overturns-in-columbiana-county/

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Shananagainz
04/10/23 10:22:57 PM
#128:


Lokarin posted...
Report of man with a long rifle... turned out to be Boba Fett

https://www.cbsnews.com/boston/news/long-rifle-back-bay-station-person-in-star-wars-costume-boba-fett/

Yaknow, for a nation that loves their guns y'all seem to be AFRAID of guns... maybe you just like being afraid.

I dont like being afraid please make it stop lol

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Lokarin
04/12/23 2:08:14 PM
#129:


Because a Texas county was ordered to return their books to the library... ... they want to shut down the entire library system

https://www.cnn.com/2023/04/12/us/texas-llano-county-library-banned-books/index.html

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Lokarin
04/14/23 1:37:39 PM
#130:


https://arstechnica.com/science/2023/04/trendy-raw-water-source-under-birds-nest-sparks-diarrheal-outbreak/

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Revelation34
04/14/23 1:50:17 PM
#131:


Lokarin posted...
https://arstechnica.com/science/2023/04/trendy-raw-water-source-under-birds-nest-sparks-diarrheal-outbreak/


People who think fluoride is bad for you are morons.

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Entity13
04/14/23 2:04:52 PM
#132:


Revelation34 posted...
People who think fluoride is bad for you are morons.

Citation needed.

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Revelation34
04/14/23 2:26:22 PM
#133:


Entity13 posted...


Citation needed.


https://www.ada.org/

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Entity13
04/14/23 3:18:40 PM
#134:


Revelation34 posted...
https://www.ada.org/

Dentistry, the number one practitioner of putting fluoride in our mouths, for our teeth, not in our systems. I also do not see where they call anyone a moron who thinks fluoride is bad for you. Would you like to try again?

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Lokarin
04/15/23 12:14:39 AM
#135:


New Jersey charges themselves!

https://apnews.com/article/new-jersey-environmental-protection-endangered-birds-f848947a4361a944f5170eb58dd1bf8e

Their environmental protection agency, while setting up a habitat to preserve an endagered bird, accidentally destroyed the habitat of 2 other birds

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streamofthesky
04/16/23 1:32:08 PM
#136:


"South Dakota governor says her two-year-old grandchild has several guns"

https://www.yahoo.com/news/south-dakota-governor-says-her-143317211.html
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Lokarin
04/16/23 6:21:44 PM
#137:


Yet another mass shooting

https://apnews.com/article/honolulu-five-shot-two-dead-chicken-fight-00fbef19edbb3c589a3a1d700fb2bf6f

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Lokarin
04/17/23 12:42:52 AM
#138:


Not sure who's more sexist here:

https://www.bbc.com/sport/africa/65280560

A Kenyan boy donned a burka to compete in women's chess event... and was caught because he was too good.

:/

RIP in Botez

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Lokarin
04/17/23 1:04:45 PM
#139:


Canadian police don't have a violence problem... because they classify it as a disease :<

https://www.cbc.ca/news/health/coroners-excited-delirium-1.6811083

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Lokarin
04/17/23 5:53:22 PM
#140:


Stop right there, criminal scum!

https://www.dexerto.com/entertainment/man-stabs-child-after-being-called-an-npc-2115747/

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Lokarin
04/17/23 9:00:51 PM
#141:


dangit canada

https://edmonton.ctvnews.ca/member-of-alberta-multiculturalism-council-resigns-over-antisemitic-posts-1.6359180

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Lokarin
04/19/23 10:46:19 PM
#142:


hey, literal onions!

Man faces lawsuit for accusing the police of stealing his onions

https://costablanca.fm/onion-furore-as-farmer-faces-lawsuit-for-saying-police-officers-stole-vegetables-in-spains-valencia/

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Entity13
04/20/23 12:34:14 AM
#143:


Lokarin posted...
hey, literal onions!

Man faces lawsuit for accusing the police of stealing his onions

https://costablanca.fm/onion-furore-as-farmer-faces-lawsuit-for-saying-police-officers-stole-vegetables-in-spains-valencia/

That shallot-tan.

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Lokarin
04/20/23 10:25:50 AM
#144:


Wyoming can't ban abortion because of their anti-obamacare 'freedom of medical choice' ruling

...Two Republicans make a Dem?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtFDtOlINh4

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Lokarin
04/20/23 7:06:12 PM
#145:


It's not the best written, but I think a CEO is happy an employee sold their dog so that they can come back to work

https://www.news.com.au/finance/work/at-work/clearlink-ceo-celebrates-worker-selling -family-dog-to-come-back-to-office/news-story/ed728ec1efa621b3946c25449fb788fa

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Lokarin
04/21/23 3:25:11 AM
#146:


Republicans are fighting to keep the ban on unmarried couples living together

https://www.newsweek.com/michigan-republicans-fight-lifting-ban-unmarried-couples-living-together-1795650

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Lokarin
04/25/23 2:11:42 PM
#147:


huh...

https://www.newsweek.com/nancy-pelosi-swimsuit-pictures-tucker-carlson-fox-news-dominion-1789146

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Lokarin
04/28/23 8:49:02 AM
#148:


Court orders sperm donor with 550 kids to stop

https://nltimes.nl/2023/04/28/court-orders-sperm-donor-550-kids-stop


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Revelation34
04/28/23 9:52:33 AM
#149:


Lokarin posted...
Court orders sperm donor with 550 kids to stop

https://nltimes.nl/2023/04/28/court-orders-sperm-donor-550-kids-stop



He could probably just go to another country.

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Lokarin
04/28/23 10:22:49 AM
#150:


Revelation34 posted...
He could probably just go to another country.

just another judge being anti-capitialist when it's the little guy making bank

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