Poll of the Day > Not the Onion 2023 edition - silly news and bungery

(+) Yeah! (+)

Iranian Cleric Complains Of Too Much Joy, Amid Soaring Depression Rates

https://www.iranintl.com/en/202402078575

Tally ho lads!

https://www.usacarry.com/intruder-critically-wounded-by-muzzleloader-in-vermont-home-defense-incident/

Intruder Critically Wounded by Muzzleloader in Vermont Home Defense Incident

Trader Joe's frozen chicken pilaf may contain rocks, USDA warns

https://6abc.com/trader-joes-health-alert-chicken-pilaf-may-contain-rocks/14404778/

Man Caught Pleasuring Himself In Nashville Library Uses Lube On His Hands To Slip Out Of Cuffs

https://www.whiskeyriff.com/2024/02/08/man-caught-pleasuring-himself-in-nashville-library-uses-lube-on-his-hands-to-slip-out-of-cuffs/

Baby in Missouri dies after mother mistakenly puts her in oven for nap

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/feb/10/baby-missouri-dies-nap-oven

Lokarin posted...

Baby in Missouri dies after mother mistakenly puts her in oven for nap

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/feb/10/baby-missouri-dies-nap-oven

"Mistakenly"

Revelation34 posted...

"Mistakenly"

Parents go to jail for leaving their kids in hot cars in the summer, which at least is a place you'd reasonably place a child (car).
There is never any fucking reason to place a child in an oven unless you live in the woods and are expecting Hansel and Gretel any minute now.
Should be fucking murder charges.

Dwight/Sprinkles vibes

Attorney sentenced to 180 days in jail, admits to drugging wife's drinks to induce abortion

https://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/texas-news/attorney-pregnant-wife-drugged-houston-abortion/3457059/

So... in the state where it's a life sentence to get an abortion (Texas SB8), is only 180 days if you attempt to do it to someone else.

Oh, and Alberta found to have the most child marriages in north america per capita

Lokarin posted...

Attorney sentenced to 180 days in jail, admits to drugging wife's drinks to induce abortion

https://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/texas-news/attorney-pregnant-wife-drugged-houston-abortion/3457059/

So... in the state where it's a life sentence to get an abortion (Texas SB8), is only 180 days if you attempt to do it to someone else.

I'm betting they don't have specific laws set up for that exact scenario so had to go on another law that is set up. But 180 days for basically poisoning someone's drink seems a bit lenient itself.

don't trust cops around... trees

https://www.nwfdailynews.com/story/news/local/2024/02/14/okaloosa-deputy-resigns-after-fort-walton-beach-shooting/72593964007/

I saw the video earlier.

We need more training.

MoDOT claims unborn baby killed in crash as an employee

https://www.newstribune.com/news/2024/feb/15/modot-claims-unborn-baby-killed-in-crash-as-an/

Metalsonic66 posted...

I saw the video earlier.

We need more training.

If oyu look at the 2nd angle... he was shooting TOWARDS his partner

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/e/e4ee2607.jpg

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/2f9f8528.jpg

Grendel_Prime posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/2f9f8528.jpg

Wat.

Revelation34 posted...

Wat.

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2024/02/air-canada-must-honor-refund-policy-invented-by-airlines-chatbot/?comments=1&comments-page=1

Lokarin posted...

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2024/02/air-canada-must-honor-refund-policy-invented-by-airlines-chatbot/?comments=1&comments-page=1

https://youtube.com/watch?v=BPknZ3Lk4xU

Tennessee, are you feeling ok?

https://www.tennessean.com/story/news/2024/02/18/nazi-marchers-at-capitol-in-nashville-prompt-bipartisan-blowback/72651479007/

...

I can't really comment since it looks like Alberta might be heading this way, too

Senator Carden Summers (R) knelt down and told a child he would protect her. When he learned she was trans, he backed away

https://www.losangelesblade.com/2024/02/17/lawmaker-vows-to-protect-girl-until-he-learns-shes-trans-bolts/

That is when, according to multiple witnesses, Sen. Summers stood up and fumbled his words, repeating, I mean, yeah, Im going to make sure shes safe by going to the right bathroom, continuing to use the correct pronouns for Aleix.

When asked if he would make her go to a boys bathroom, he then allegedly backed away, saying, Youre attacking me, turned around, and walked off quickly.

Lokarin posted...

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2024/02/air-canada-must-honor-refund-policy-invented-by-airlines-chatbot/?comments=1&comments-page=1

If it's alive then it's a representative of the company and therefore the company is still liable.

Willow Springs man staged farm accident, paid someone to cut off his feet, authorities say

https://www.news-leader.com/story/news/local/ozarks/2024/02/15/authorities-say-missouri-man-staged-farm-accident-had-feet-cut-off/72613100007/

Major Alabama hospital pauses IVF after court rules frozen embryos are children

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-68366337

...if you don't want kids you gotta pay cold support

Senator calls LGBTQ+ people 'filth,' says most don't want them here

https://www.tahlequahdailypress.com/news/senator-calls-lgbtq-oklahomans-filth-says -constituents-dont-want-them/article_c8979398-d260-11ee-9823-973bf20c3730.html

Everything about the murder of Nex is sad

Girl Scouts threaten legal action over troop's fundraiser for children in Gaza

*link too long*

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/ireland-christmas-tree-throwing-competition-mother-loses-claim-rcna140448

Whoopsie

Exxon CEO blames public for failure to fix climate change

https://thehill.com/policy/energy-environment/4494543-exxon-ceo-blames-public-for-failure-to-fix-climate-change/

New Mexico teacher had students duel with swords in class, leading to serious injury of teen girl, lawsuit says

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/new-mexico-teacher-students-duel-swords-class-leading-serious-injury-t-rcna140961

Your tax dollars bailing out the Church... the Church of State

https://ministrywatch.com/churches-and-ministries-had-paycheck-protection-program-loans-totaling-7-billion-forgiven/

Lokarin posted...

New Mexico teacher had students duel with swords in class, leading to serious injury of teen girl, lawsuit says

I will resist making a Monty Python reference.

Missouri Bill Makes Teachers Sex Offenders If They Accept Trans Kids' Pronouns

https://www.riverfronttimes.com/news/missouri-bill-makes-teachers-sex-offenders-if-they-accept-trans-kids-pronouns-42014864

Florida is swamped by disease outbreaks as quackery replaces science

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/mar/03/florida-measles-outbreak-preventable

https://www.yahoo.com/news/student-toe-licking-fundraiser-sparks-231946738.html

An Oklahoma high school is reportedly under investigation after students were filmed licking peanut butter off of peoples toes as part of a fundraising event.

Charlie Kirk Wants Coca-Cola to Sponsor Televised Executions

https://www.thedailybeast.com/charlie-kirk-wants-coca-cola-to-sponsor-televised-executions

Of course, Alberta gov doing it's best to become the worst

AHS manager tells nurses to become Tik Tok influencers to supplement income due to policy limiting overtime

https://www.theprogressreport.ca/ahs_manager_tells_nurses_to_become_tik_tok_influencers_to_supplement_income_due_to_policy_limiting_overtime

Florida Senate passes bill blocking local rules protecting workers from heat

https://www.nbcnews.com/science/science-news/floridas-senate-passes-bill-block-local-regulations-protecting-workers-rcna142021

RCMP Confirms Hundreds On UCP Voter List Told Police They Had No Knowledge They Ever Voted

RCMP ends five-year investigation into UCP voter fraud allegations after hitting dead-ends in determining who cast fake votes

https://pressprogress.ca/rcmp-confirms-hundreds-on-ucp-voter-list-told-police-they-had-no-knowledge-they-ever-voted/

won't load for me, but supposedly the summary is "Student in Pakistan sentenced to death for blasphemy due to messages on whatsapp"

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-68511557

No direct link since it's a live story but;

Alberta mom fired without cause during maternity leave... judge sided with the employer and is charging the mom double legal fees.

Good chance the judge will get disbarred over this

Milei threatens to pee on all of Argentina's governors and shut down Congress

https://en.mercopress.com/2024/03/08/milei-threatens-to-pee-on-all-of-argentina-s-governors-and-shut-down-congress

I'm gunna get modded for spamming if the earth doesn't stop being morons soon

Lokarin posted...

won't load for me, but supposedly the summary is "Student in Pakistan sentenced to death for blasphemy due to messages on whatsapp"

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-68511557

So much for being a free country.

Lokarin posted...

No direct link since it's a live story but;

Alberta mom fired without cause during maternity leave... judge sided with the employer and is charging the mom double legal fees.

Good chance the judge will get disbarred over this

That's scary!

influenzer shoots up his cybertruck to prove its bulletproof... bullets go right through it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFzmDVjwh8k

Formula 1 has unveiled a bonkers track in Saudi Arabia with more than 350 feet of elevation changes and a first corner that's right out of Mario Kart.

https://jalopnik.com/f1-s-mario-kart-inspired-saudi-track-proves-it-has-more-1851311385

https://i.imgur.com/L1C6rVG.jpg

Blue_Thunder posted...

Formula 1 has unveiled a bonkers track in Saudi Arabia with more than 350 feet of elevation changes and a first corner that's right out of Mario Kart.

https://jalopnik.com/f1-s-mario-kart-inspired-saudi-track-proves-it-has-more-1851311385

https://i.imgur.com/L1C6rVG.jpg

that seems exceptionally dangerous :D

Boeing whistleblower found dead in US

https://www.bbc.com/news/business-68534703

Also:

F1 Academy: Doriane Pin loses victory in Saudi Arabia after failing to realise race was over

https://www.skysports.com/f1/news/12433/13091705/f1-academy-doriane-pin-loses-victory-in-saudi-arabia-after-failing-to-realise-race-was-over

Imagine if that was done on the rainbow road!

Lokarin posted...

Also:

F1 Academy: Doriane Pin loses victory in Saudi Arabia after failing to realise race was over

https://www.skysports.com/f1/news/12433/13091705/f1-academy-doriane-pin-loses-victory-in-saudi-arabia-after-failing-to-realise-race-was-over

Imagine if that was done on the rainbow road!

That's fucking stupid.