Board 8 > Board 8 Ranks the Gen 7 Pokemon - Part One

(+) Yeah! (+)

sorry for the delay.

99. Persian-A
Score: 3144
Average Ranking: 74.86 (Standard Deviation: 21.81)
Dark rank: 8/8

Fully Evolved rank: 59/59
Sexy pics courtesy of Brayze_II: http://orig06.deviantart.net/4c92/f/2016/311/2/e/alolan_persian_by_otherstoopidstuff96-danokzj.png

17 - Brayze_II
28 - TexWolf_1729
31 - PrinceKaro
36 - Paratroopa1
46 - xx521xx
48 - Whiskey Nick
50 - Inviso
52 - pyresword
55 - hotdogturtle
67 - ecksgem
70 - red13n
73 - swirldude
73 - arti
74 - Anagram
79 - Xuxon
80 - Ermine
80 - Luster Soldier
82 - eddv
84 - StifledSilence
85 - FrostHarpy
85 - cody11533
86 - Terastodon
87 - OrangeCrush
87 - Steiner
87 - VeryInsane
88 - th3l3fty
89 - mcflubbin
89 - IHateThisCPU
89 - MrSmartGuy
91 - Raka_Putra
91 - ScepterOfLove
92 - Dragon66116
94 - Drakeryn
95 - starfox2245
96 - JONALEON1
96 - profDEADPOOL
98 - Cybat
98 - swordz9
98 - NFUN
99 - mnkboy907
99 - ctes

Brayze_II: STUFFING YOUR FACE AS USUAL

Paratroopa1: where did all the hamburger helper go

Inviso: So not only does it ruin the sleek look of Persian, but its makes it weaker and turns it into a generic Dark-type in the gen already featuring Rattata/Raticate. Smart.

Ermine: Hi Garfield

Luster Soldier: Definitely worse than regular Persian because the head looks rather fat. Despite the fat head, Alolan Persian is only slightly heavier than regular Persian (72.8 lbs vs. 70.5 lbs).

StifledSilence: When emo edgy Meowth decides to eat ten bags of chicken nuggets instead of write poetry in a dark corner.

MrSmartGuy: I hate mondays.

Raka_Putra: Weird face cat.

Drakeryn: "Idiocy will always increase over time until the idiocy in the area is equal to that of earth." - meisnewbie's Second Law of Idiocy

profDEADPOOL: Dumb cheeks are dumb

Cybat: Well, Persian, I guess that will teach you not to steal Wonka's Three Course Dinner Chewing Gum before he finishes testing it.

swordz9: Garfield universe reject

mnkboy907: This is last just on principle. I cannot sanction GameFreak's buffoonery.

ctes: This is it. This is the absolute worst thing they ever created. It is actually impressive how such a small change can make this so bad, but it is. It's completely awful. I was split on what to rank at the bottom between three things, but then I looked at the other two candidates where one has a single thing going for it and the other at least doesn't look like an arrogant jerk. Alolan Persian takes bottom placement. They tried here and failed so miserably.
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Yea that's fair
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I really wish Alolan Persian wasn't terrible.

Now that is a weird last place based on what I was expecting (which was obviously totally off). This seems totally inoffensive to me. Was there some controversy over this or something?

I actually thought I'd be one of the ones who liked it the least, though obviously I don't know much about how popular things are in this gen.
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Why were the two that referenced garfielf the two highest-ranked write-ups?
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There's no controversy. Alolan Persian is just ugly as fuck

whats meisnewbie's 1st law of idiocy
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woohoo, tag
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Fair enough for the first elim
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I'm surprised Bruxish wasn't first. I totally expected it to be.

That Alohan Persian that the grand trial guy had was probably the hardest trainer fight in the game (in my casual playthrough).

but yes it ugly
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Not what I was expecting but also not really surprised. Who thought Alolan Persian was a good idea?
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Cool. Next.
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98. Bruxish
Score: 3134
Average Ranking: 74.62 (Standard Deviation: 27.9)
Water rank: 13/13
Psychic rank: 9/9
Fully Evolved rank: 58/59
Sexy pics courtesy of Brayze_II: https://archive-media-0.nyafuu.org/vp/image/1467/47/1467477838572.jpg

4 - eddv
30 - Brayze_II
30 - Paratroopa1
31 - Inviso
34 - TexWolf_1729
36 - mcflubbin
37 - Terastodon
39 - hotdogturtle
42 - FrostHarpy
54 - pyresword
54 - mnkboy907
57 - arti
63 - th3l3fty
65 - profDEADPOOL
72 - IHateThisCPU
82 - Xuxon
83 - MrSmartGuy
85 - NFUN
93 - ecksgem
93 - JONALEON1
95 - xx521xx
95 - Anagram
95 - Ermine
95 - OrangeCrush
95 - Dragon66116
96 - Cybat
97 - ctes
98 - red13n
98 - cody11533
98 - ScepterOfLove
98 - starfox2245
99 - PrinceKaro
99 - Whiskey Nick
99 - swirldude
99 - Luster Soldier
99 - StifledSilence
99 - Steiner
99 - VeryInsane
99 - Drakeryn
99 - swordz9
99 - Raka_Putra

Brayze_II: I like pokemon that have drag queen aesthetics

Paratroopa1: dude just putting like a full set of luscious lips and some other weird shit onto a fish is basically my aesthetic. I am so down with bruxish, you guys just don't get it

Inviso: Despite being ugly as sin, Bruxish is pretty damn useful in combat with its bite attacks. Wish it looked better, but it gets the job done regardless.

mnkboy907: Apparently this thing grew on me. I couldn't believe I was ranking it over things but it just kept happening until it landed here. Huh.

MrSmartGuy: What kind of Pokemon can't even tell if it's fully Brux or not? Make up your damn mind.

Ermine: What in the hell...

OrangeCrush: It's like Lumineon but ugly!

Cybat: …I guess this is what happens when we complain about new fish designs being too boring and generic?

ctes: Bruxish sucks so goddamn much. It's insane how awful it is. Its only qualities comes with an alright typing and a cool signature move in Psychic Fangs, but look at it, it's complete ass. The only reason it doesn't rank even lower than it already is, is because two Pokemon were actually intended to look good, while this one is clearly ugly on purpose. I did consider it for last though, it's a worthless piece of s***.
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PrinceKaro: Hails from a dark, terrible alternate dimension where all Pokemon are designed by Klasky-Csupo.

Luster Soldier: For many people, this is a possible candidate for worst Pokemon of Gen VII. It's pretty ugly. The name is rather unoriginal, since it's only a one letter difference from "bruxism" (a teeth grinding disorder).

StifledSilence:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BScKizU7DNc

Drakeryn: "a complete travesty of a piece that quite literally made me want to kill myself. the piano is incredibly irritating past the first five or so seconds and repeats the same grating sequence for the entirety of the song. but grandma isn't satisfied with just that - it also torments me with absolutely hellish vocals. i find it amazing that there's not a single verse that is even remotely listenable; the pitch and tone are completely off everywhere. yet as annoying as the background is and as muddy as the vocals are, you'd think they'd at least go together, right? not at all - it feels like the composer selected a completely random piano track and recorded on top of it. at no point do the two parts of the song synchronize in the least; the result is a veritable cacophony. what's more, there is no direction to the piece. it merely meanders about drunkenly for four minutes, as if making fun of the listener for wasting his time on such a wreck. the best thing i can say about this song is that it makes me appreciate all the others more." - HGR

swordz9: Ugliest fish this series has ever seen.

Raka_Putra: I can't wait to read all the white knights defending it just because it's realistic or different or whatever. They can make an ovarian teratoma Pokemon next and some people will defend it and hump its plushies. I find it very disagreeable. Though on the lighter side, its ability is neat. So it's not even that bad.
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Now that one I'm not too surprised by. I agree Bruxish is ugly as hell, but he's pretty fun to get in Random Battles, which is actually very significant component of how I ranked these...
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Good first elim!

Yeah I dunno I hated Bruxish at first but I guess I got used to it and now I think it's kinda neat?
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Oh hey spot on.

i am okay with these elims. nothing too shocking yet, though i am a bit surprised Bruxish wasn't dead last.
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btw google doc coming tomorrow i spent all night working on my personal sheet

97. Raticate-A
Score: 3097
Average Ranking: 73.74 (Standard Deviation: 18.96)
Dark rank: 7/8
Normal rank: 14/14
Fully Evolved rank: 57/59
Sexy pics courtesy of Brayze_II: https://68.media.tumblr.com/5ccc89e4a172212117f72dd6c2022c8e/tumblr_odiqnebqcg1vboqg5o1_500.jpg


31 - MrSmartGuy
39 - Steiner
41 - Ermine
46 - Whiskey Nick
49 - hotdogturtle
50 - Paratroopa1
55 - mnkboy907
55 - red13n
57 - eddv
61 - Drakeryn
62 - Anagram
64 - OrangeCrush
67 - th3l3fty
68 - StifledSilence
73 - Terastodon
74 - VeryInsane
75 - arti
75 - xx521xx
76 - starfox2245
76 - PrinceKaro
77 - ecksgem
78 - cody11533
78 - ScepterOfLove
84 - Raka_Putra
86 - pyresword
86 - JONALEON1
87 - swirldude
88 - Dragon66116
89 - Brayze_II
89 - Xuxon
95 - FrostHarpy
95 - profDEADPOOL
95 - Cybat
96 - NFUN
96 - ctes
97 - mcflubbin
97 - IHateThisCPU
97 - Luster Soldier
97 - swordz9
98 - Inviso
98 - TexWolf_1729

Paratroopa1: aw look at his puffy cheeks haha he's trying to be all intimidating and shit but it's just not working and that makes him great

mnkboy907: Haha, Faticate.

Drakeryn: "Humans aren't delicious enough to be made fools of by mice." - Reimu (Undefined Fantastic Object)

StifledSilence: I see a rat. The rat is fat. The fat rat looks like shat.

PrinceKaro: Faticate. No thanks.

Raka_Putra: Wow fatty.

Brayze_II: surprisingly no postable porn of this fat fuck yet!

profDEADPOOL: Dumb cheeks are dumb

Cybat: Dude, spit out your food, you're in a battle. Rude. The first Totem battle (in Moon) would have been a lot more intimidating if it wasn't this dopey thing that popped up.

ctes: Looks absolute ass. Man is it ugly. In relation to this alolan line is super pointless and only has the purpose of having common trash at night, they barely thought this one through. I'msure the moment someone suggested to just make its cheeks beyond fat, they just agreed to move on to more important stuff, but man is this bad.

Luster Soldier: A major downgrade from regular Raticate because they made it look much fatter.

swordz9: Hey guys let's give Raticate a second chance, but make it so ugly nobody wants to use it

Inviso: More like FATicate, amirite? But seriously, this is more of a personal experience ranking for me. Alola Raticate was one of the many Pokemon I bothered leveling to 40 (just to test them out), and I got saddled with one that knew Hustle. Which meant decreased accuracy when I'm trying to fucking train. And to make matters worse, Alolan Raticate was one of the primary WILD Pokemon I could level up against, and it's JUST bulky enough to be difficult to kill and JUST strong enough to hammer my weak Pokemon I'm trying to boost. Nothing about Alolan Raticate was fun and honestly? I wish it didn't exist. You're gonna waste like, 18 new Pokemon slots on Alolan forms and you give us a generic Dark (okay, it's Dark/Normal...great, double weakness to fighting on this lamewad) type of Raticate? REALLY?!
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tbqh I think Alohan Raticate looks better than regular Raticate.

(they're both bottom 100 pokemon though)
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Boo, Faticate is funny.
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Off by one again.
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tag
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96. Cosmoem
Score: 3031
Average Ranking: 72.17 (Standard Deviation: 21.41)
Psychic rank: 8/9

Not Fully Evolved rank: 40/40

21 - MrSmartGuy
26 - NFUN
30 - swirldude
30 - Terastodon
42 - Whiskey Nick
47 - th3l3fty
53 - Cybat
62 - Raka_Putra
62 - ecksgem
62 - arti
63 - mnkboy907
63 - Ermine
66 - swordz9
67 - Drakeryn
70 - Xuxon
72 - xx521xx
72 - pyresword
76 - JONALEON1
78 - TexWolf_1729
78 - Brayze_II
78 - IHateThisCPU
79 - Dragon66116
82 - Steiner
83 - OrangeCrush
84 - mcflubbin
86 - profDEADPOOL
86 - Luster Soldier
87 - PrinceKaro
88 - FrostHarpy
89 - starfox2245
89 - ctes
92 - Anagram
92 - Inviso
93 - Paratroopa1
95 - VeryInsane
95 - ScepterOfLove
97 - StifledSilence
99 - cody11533
99 - eddv
99 - red13n
99 - hotdogturtle

MrSmartGuy: Now all I can think about are Mome Beasts from Space Funeral and that in itself would've made for a great Pokemon.

Cybat: Its Japanese name, Cosmovum, makes more sense, but oh well. It's actually a smart design, incorporating the sun and the moon. It looks more like a stone that becomes a MacGuffin in some sci-fi story than a Pokemon though. I also appreciate how it weighs over 2000 pounds, which makes sense given the whole "becoming a star" thing.

Raka_Putra: When I saw it for the first time I thought it were just a forme, like Darmanitan's Zen Forme.

mnkboy907: Gives Phione a run for its money in the “most pointless Pokemon” department, but at least it's got a decent enough design for what it is.

swordz9: Wow the cute mascot can evolve

Brayze_II: nobody likes you cosmoem

Luster Soldier: Sometimes there are Pokemon whose weight doesn't make sense when considering its height. With a height of only 4 inches, the weight of this Pokemon looks very much out of place. This thing weighs OVER 2000 POUNDS, which is mindblowing. The weight of course is explained by the extremely high density, since it's based on a star. As with Cosmog, it has no attacking moves and has no means of dealing damage in battle outside of Struggle.

PrinceKaro: Just what the world needed, a fucking legendary cocoon.

ctes: Cosmoem is completely pointless. There was aboslutely no reason for there to be a middle stage here. It looks kinda dumb and it has no business existing to be honest. It would've been just fine if Cosmog evolved straight into the cover legendaries, becomming this thing is just a super anti-climactic evolution. It's still worthless too, but unlike Cosmog, absolutely nothing makes up for it. Shouldn't have existed.

Inviso: Middle evolution that isn't interesting like Nebby or Mega Nebby.

Paratroopa1: this pokemon is such a completely pointless non-entity that I'm not even going to feign writing a pointless rambling writeup about it where I go on an insane stream of consciousness. gotta pee brb

StifledSilence: It's seriously a fucking space cocoon.
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that's all for tonight. i'll do another 15 and the spreadsheet tomorrow.
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Ranked at the bottom because absolutely nothing justifies its existence.

I don't know what I was thinking by ranking Persian-A that high.
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greengravy294 posted...

whats meisnewbie's 1st law of idiocy

(11:04:14 PM) meisnewbie: man
(11:04:23 PM) meisnewbie: there should be a mercs comic
(11:04:36 PM) meisnewbie: showing the admins looking at a piece of paper named "Balance"
(11:04:57 PM) meisnewbie: crumbling it up and tossing it into a garbage bin under a calender labeled "Day 10"
(11:05:40 PM) HeroicGammaRay: we call that a documentary not a comic
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also good work everyone punting bruxish
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Thanks btw for putting in all the extra effort tonight.
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is that from m3 drakeryn
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oh right I was supposed to do a list for this whoops :\
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m2 actually
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perfect, even more ancient

i hope in 10 years you can wow b8 with some m4 quotes
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aw, I meant to participate in this and forgot several times

oh well, no excuses really

Bruxish too high at 2nd to last
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swordz9 posted...

I'm surprised Bruxish wasn't first. I totally expected it to be.

I didn't think it was getting eliminated first, as I thought there would be at least one person that would have it in their top 10. I went back through the list of Pokemon which finished last in their generation and only Smoochum and Binacle received a top 10 from one of the users. Smoochum was also notable because it had 2 top 10s and still finished last place. Binacle was in a very small generation, so it would have been easier for it to finish last place even if it does get a top 10 from someone.
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Oh oh oh
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so far so bad

MrSmartGuy posted...

Why were the two that referenced garfielf the two highest-ranked write-ups?

um, duh, why do you think

sorry guys a lot of these pics aren't actually sexy because there were often only two options
-artistic 'interpretations'
-SUPER porn

with none of the classy, inept softcore fetish wank we all love so much. If I couldn't find sexy I tried for funny, and if I couldn't find that I basically just started crying.
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Also wow a lot of odies here on board 8
sorry persian kicked you of the table
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Brayze_II posted...

Also wow a lot of odies here on board 8
sorry persian kicked you of the table

Let's send these mutts into orbit
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Paratroopa1 posted...

so far so bad

I find these results to be just fine for now, as I'm generally part of the consensus when it comes to the worst Pokemon of the generation.

When we get into the 80-89 range is when I suspect I'll start losing at least one Pokemon that I ranked very high on my list.
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Frankly I dislike maybe 9 pokes this gen. maybe less even!

also after this is done, I will challenge anyone to a doubles battle, with a team composed of my highest outliers!*
*fully evolved versions thereof
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My main concern is that my #97 is going to be ranked really highly and I'm going to hate everything.
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Good start. Actually I wouldn't mind trying using Bruxish. At least I won't feel sorry if it died.
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pyresword posted...

My main concern is that my #97 is going to be ranked really highly and I'm going to hate everything.

That's like my 99, 98 and 97 lol
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wow I may legit be in the running to be Mr. Outlier this time around
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Tag

I'm now realizing how many writeups I skipped because I was rushing. I had (short) things to say about Persian, Raticate, and Bruxish. Oh well, I'm really in this for my favorites and the top half of my list (and their writeups). The bottom of my list was kind of messed up anyway after I realized that the sorter had skipped a few Pokemon after I started writing my list. Most of my bottom 20 are sort of mushed together.
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