Current Events > I don't get why Women get mad that Men don't want to date Single Mothers

(+) Yeah! (+)

The23rdMagus posted...

Sure it does. It's already been "claimed" with another man's trophy, right?

I consider my kids to be my fuck trophies. My wife was my teammate in obtaining them.

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CyricZ posted...

I mean I asked this question and got no response. "Is this a thing that happens?"

No it's not, the only group of people that might take offense to that are single moms themselves. Otherwise no, there isn't a big movement about it or anything.

Anyways for this topic, everyone has their own preferences. Getting mad at them for having a preference is stupid. Taking care of a kid in general is a lot of work and not everyone is up for that. I rather have less kids that grow up in a healthy environment with good responsible parents that know how to be grown ups than more kids growing up in a shitty environment because of a parents bad decision. There's a reason divorce rates among millennials are at its lowest.

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nfearurspecimn posted...

Who cares if a few women get mad about this? Do they control your life? Are you being shamed on social media to the point at which no women want anything to do with you? Just seems like you want to bash single moms for some weird reason. No one is forcing you to date anybody lol.

I didn't mean to call you an incel it just seems like the sort of thing an incel would bitch about. Also I apologize in that you are correct, you only said some.

Its all good. I guess it does seem that this topic came out of nowhere to bash people. Really I got a message in a group chat of friends from a girl. She asked why men dont seem to want to date single moms. (She isnt single or a mother lol) We we gave our input and it kind of ended up like this topic but siding more why most of us didnt want to date single women. It was a busy topic so I decided to post it here.

Thats where it came from

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Let them be that way, it might be a way for them to cope with being lonely tbh.
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Dark_SilverX posted...

They need to understand that their children is in the way of the relationship.

:(

While that is true they should also realize that a lot of people just aren't going to be interested in or won't take the risk to be with them at all because of that. If anything this should serve as a warning to young women to not get pregnant by men who aren't going to stick around and help them raise the child, and to not treat the men they are involved with and / or have children with badly, so they will want stay. Tired of seeing women not respecting who they are with and go monkey-branching only to try and throw themselves a pity party when it blows in their face when the guy who thought he was the only guy finds out about the side guy(s) and rightfully leaves her and the side guy doesn't want to step up because he just wanted some pussy on the side occasionally and nothing more.

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The23rdMagus posted...

Probably because it's not all that reasonable.

More reasonable than murdering them and then knocking the mother up. Which I'm almost positive you could find an example of in the animal kingdom.

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Number090684 posted...

While that is true they should also realize that a lot of people just aren't going to be interested in or won't take the risk to be with them at all because of that. If anything this should serve as a warning to young women to not get pregnant by men who aren't going to stick around and help them raise the child, and to not treat the men they are involved with and / or have children with badly, so they will want stay

Most of the arguments that people are making in this topic also apply to people who have spouses die though. Is having a spouse die a bad decision?

nfearurspecimn posted...

Also it isn't about an "unspoiled conquest".

It might not be to you, but it is to the people who are calling knowingly raising someone else's kid is "being cucked" or insinuating the importance of bloodlines.


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Jesus, this fucking topic is going to 500 isn't it?

Sure does look like a bunch of guys will get really pissy about it, whether or not any single mothers actually come to CE.

Anteaterking posted...

It might not be to you, but it is to the people who are calling knowingly raising someone else's kid is "being cucked" or insinuating the importance of bloodlines.

Seriously, there is this weird shit about the internet calling anyone they deem as a "beta" a cuck, simp, incel, soyboy, etc. Like when did they deem their masculinity get... well emasculated that they have to come up with buzzwords like these.

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Anteaterking posted...

Most of the arguments that people are making in this topic also apply to people who have spouses die though. Is having a spouse die a bad decision?

It might not be to you, but it is to the people who are calling knowingly raising someone else's kid is "being cucked" or insinuating the importance of bloodlines.

If they are single due to their SO's bad behavior or death, then no, it's obviously not their fault.

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If you don't want to date a single parent, that's fine and your right.

At the end of the day, step kids are still baggage whether we want to admit it or not. Not everybody wants to carry that baggage long term, especially when the parent demands the new partner to make 100% of the adjustments without any authority and still expecting anyone to stick around...which is not realistic.

Deal with it.

There's some people who really need to consider giving the sane single parents are chance. However, there's also some single parents who just need to try fucking harder on their side instead of dumping all adjustments on the new partner as if that's an attractive deal .

There's also plenty of women who show the same stigma towards dating single dads. Hell, there are lesbians ducking single moms too. Why? Because some single parents (including moms) are fucking nuts with their unrealistic expectations...

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Any guy who who wants to be a stepdad is a simp.

You can deal with a single mother, but taking care of another man's child is a no-no. That's not your responsibility.

Prestoff posted...

Seriously, there is this weird s*** about the internet calling anyone they deem as a "beta" a cuck, simp, incel, soyboy, etc. Like when did they deem their masculinity get... well emasculated that they have to come up with buzzwords like these.

Again, I think it's perfectly reasonable to not want to pre-commit to a relationship with baggage like children, initial long distance, etc.

But yeah there's something bizarre about the internet people who use those terms who are also essentially trad caths. Like if you're framing things in alpha/beta terms what's alpha about looking at a woman and trying to determine whether you could marry her or not? "I'm using a hookup app but I don't want to babysit her kids" . Stereotypical alphas aren't worried about that stuff. It's not like most of the people saying these things are highly successful with women and thus don't need to "sink" to the level of sleeping with a single mom.

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If a woman didnt want to date a guy (for any reason) youd never have a discussion for this long. The conversation would end at her body her choice.

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I've dated two single mothers in my lifetime. One when I was a year or two out of high school. She just had the kid maybe 3 months earlier. Rather than putting the child in a crib while she went to grab a shower she put it on the couch next to me. I was absolutely terrified the entire time because the kid started crawling towards the edge of the couch. I didn't wanna be her kid's babysitter. Mind you the most fun time with her was when she went to see her baby's daddy and they argued while I stood there like 'why the fuck am I here?!?!'.

The only other time I dated a woman with three kids, one of whom was young enough to innocently ask 'when daddy was coming back' with me in the room. Nothing like such a fun question coming up when you're trying to get serious with the kids mom.

People say that no one shouldn't date single mothers, then no women shouldn't deal with a guy who has a baby mama or two.

yeah, fuck raising a SOCK

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DarkProto05 posted...

If a woman didnt want to date a guy (for any reason) youd never have a discussion for this long. The conversation would end at her body her choice.

Not if the reason was because he's black, or trans.

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Speaking as someone who has dated a 20 year old who had a 3 month old, to me it just felt like I was being used. She'd only hang out if her toddler needed something at the store, and the one time we were supposed to go on a date alone her father told her that he couldn't look after the baby(which I later found out was a lie). Pretty much said I won't be doing that again. I may date someone who has an older kid, but the kid can't be younger than 5 or 6.

Flockaveli posted...

How many women would date single fathers?

Single fathers are often a turn-on.

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Dreamscissors posted...

Yeah this is true and I don't get why these people can't see it. The other thing I see get brought up a lot is that somehow being a single parent is a mark against that person's character or judgement. Like relationships don't fail all the time for a variety of reasons. It must be because the dad is horrible and the mom made poor decisions.

If they didnt make awful decisions then they wouldn't be in that mess in the first place.

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lydiaquayle posted...

Single fathers are often a turn-on.

It's true.

A man who has kids makes him more acceptable to women. Women gravitates towards men who are husbands and have kids. It's why women go after married men cuz' they have responsibilities. It turns them on. A man with no kids, no women won't make him any more acceptable to women than the ones that do.

DepreceV2 posted... I dont understand the anger. There are plenty of reasons why men dont want to but the number 1 reason far and away is that men dont want to take care of another mans children. Seems pretty reasonable but a lot of women, not all, seem to get offended to hear this for some reason.

While that's obviously a big one even for guys who want to raise kids (and not every guy wants to be a dad, just like not every woman wants to be a mother), there are other fundamental issues as well.

The23rdMagus posted...

Probably because it's not all that reasonable.

lolwut? It's not like women line up to date single fathers with sole custody (even the ones with kids themselves would rather date a single man). It's a social issue that cuts both ways, although women are more likely to get custody because the system favors them.


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Imagine its Christmas. You think you are spending Christmas with her. But a few days before she tells you her kids want to spend Christmas with their father.

you say thats ok, but you dont get it: that means she has to take them there. And the kids want to see her mom too. And its dangerous to drive back so late.

Enjoy spending christmas thinking about her being at her exs home, with the kids planning some crazy Xmas miracle plot to get them back together like in that movie.

Then you realize: to those kids, youre the bad guy

CalypsoDoom posted...

basically its only reasonable for people who absolutely dont want kids at all - which makes up a decent portion of this board

Nah

There are legitimate arguments to be made about availability and stuff like dating a person Vs dating a person plus her kids (what if they don't like you etc?). All of these "increase the risk" or add effort, and imo it's legitimate to say "that's effort I don't want to expend"
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The23rdMagus posted...

We think we're entitled to an "unspoiled" conquest.

No, you just think you're entitled to white knight.

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I cant judge because I never wanted a single dad when I was dating. Even now at 35 and no children, if I found myself single somehow, Id still avoid them as much as I could. Its not for me. So I can understand the sentiment. But as Cyric mentioned, I dont see this being a real issue and generally these topics are just made by angry people who want to bash single moms.

TopKekBro posted...

Imagine its Christmas. You think you are spending Christmas with her. But a few days before she tells you her kids want to spend Christmas with their father.

you say thats ok, but you dont get it: that means she has to take them there. And the kids want to see their mom too. And its dangerous to drive back so late.

Enjoy spending christmas thinking about her being at her exs home, with the kids planning some crazy Xmas miracle plot to get them back together like in that movie.

Then you realize: to those kids, youre the bad guy

You are projecting so much insecurity here it's not even funny. You have my sympathy.

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J03can posted...

Im going on a date tomorrow with a single mom with a 5 year old. She doesnt want me to meet him and i dont want to meet him unless were together for months (we wont be)

Stupid on both of you.

What the two of you are doing is deciding to potentially waste months of your lives on a non-viable relationship because of some asinine idea that meeting the kids is something that needs to wait.

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I hate children. That's why I won't do it.

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Flockaveli posted...

How many women would date single fathers?

childhood friend's a single father, juggling like three women at the moment

women seem to be a lot more forgiving of single fathers - though i suppose it helps he's a charismatic with a square jaw

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Dated one and I'd never do it again.

There's a good reason men don't want to date single mothers.

My coworker got with a women who had a kid he has been with her at the time for around 9 years her kid being around 14 or so now. The stepson was caught doing drugs, my co-worker confronted his stepson and told him not to do drugs, etc....pretty much a screamed and lectured him.
In comes the mother "He's not your son don't you dare raise your voice at him! That's why he's probably doing drugs all you do is lecture him!" He says fine I won't say anything at all. 2 days later he gets a call from his stepson who is being held in a holding cell asking for help, the mother then comes saying "You have been raising him for almost 10 years you haven't raised him like a father but he's still your son help him!"

Co-worker left her ass at that moment.


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Not everyone is equipped to do it. Just how it is.

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brokenfingers posted...

Stupid on both of you.

What the two of you are doing is deciding to potentially waste months of your lives on a non-viable relationship because of some asinine idea that meeting the kids is something that needs to wait.

I think it's actually a smart move. It's better for a kid not to potentially develop an attachment to someone if they may not stick around long. Likewise, it's better that the mother not appear to her child like a revolving door.

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-Her kid has more priority than you. You'll always be second to her kid no matter what.

-She will require you to spend time with her kid. No way around it. You'll have to do it eventually.

-You will be spending less time having sex with her and more time being a dad to someone else's child.

If you can manage this then hats off to you but if you hate kids than run the fuck away.

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DespondentDeity posted...

You are projecting so much insecurity here it's not even funny. You have my sympathy.

Insecurity how? I am not even close to dating an old woman with kids, im Too young for that.

who brainwashed you into thinking that if you dont want to deal with someone elses kids youre insecure?

Considering how natural it is for a child to distrust a stepfather or how slow they are to bond, expecting a man to do the same for children that are not his, no questions asked, is about as simpy as it gets.

Dated a woman that was a single mother once, when we were both in our early 20s. Definitely would not do that again. Couldn't ever do anything because the kid had to tag along, and she was one of these mothers letting her little baby be undisciplined and free, so I got to share the burden of bad looks from people when the baby was being a terror and she would get pissed if I tried anything to keep the stupid thing under control.

My advice for men: don't do it. Not unless the kids are grown or near grown, and the woman is confirmed to have no contact with the ex. Otherwise shit can get hairy.

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same reason men don't like hearing women talk about arbitrarily not wanting to date short men

because hearing someone talk about their personal preferences with respect to your group is inherently insulting, esp if you don't "measure up" to this person who knows nothing about you

the point of personal preferences is that they are preferences, held internally, and not subject to rigorous application as hard requirements that can never be overcome

most people compromise on those preferences. most people know not to share them publicly, precisely because they know that to find the best partners with traits they didn't even realize they wanted at first, they probably will be accepting a little of something they don't prefer.

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The only issue I've ever had with single mothers is bonding with the kid then not seeing them again, that was bad in my first relationship after splitting with my daughter's mother. But that single mom just used me as a babysitter and was abusive to me physically and mentally.

I'm very happy with my current situation, living with my fiancee and their daughter. We bonded really well and it's a happy family household. I read her a story before bedtime every night, take her to school and we play a lot of video games together. She's also become a great sister and best friend to my daughter, even when apart they chat online constantly.

I have a wonderful relationship, a wonderful second daughter and a happy home for the first time in my life. Dating single parents isn't some terrible thing, although I guess coming from the position of a parent it's different

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TopKekBro posted...

Insecurity how? I am not even close to dating an old woman with kids, im Too young for that.

who brainwashed you into thinking that if you dont want to deal with someone elses kids youre insecure?

Still projecting, it's obvious from the way you talk about women in general, the kid issue is just an opportunity for you to express your misogyny.

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PesticideDream posted...

Dated a woman that was a single mother once, when we were both in our early 20s. Definitely would not do that again. Couldn't ever do anything because the kid had to tag along, and she was one of these mothers letting her little baby be undisciplined and free, so I got to share the burden of bad looks from people when the baby was being a terror and she would get pissed if I tried anything to keep the stupid thing under control.

See, this is the sort of shit I am talking about.

kids are a responsibility. Kids are the opposite of fun, but you put up with it because you decided to have a kid and youre old and mature enough for it.

you dont want to waste your youth and your time to be wild and free by playing daddy to some kid that is not even yours.

there is a time and place for everything. You will have to become a stable, responsible and nurturing dad at some point, and if you dont, shame on you. So better get the wilder stuff out of your system now.

why exchange bar hopping, pub crawling and getting drunk and having sex all night for going bowling or on a picnic or watching finding fucking Nemo with a child?

TopKekBro posted...

See, this is the sort of shit I am talking about.

kids are a responsibility. Kids are the opposite of fun, but you put up with it because you decided to have a kid and youre old and mature enough for it.

you dont want to waste your youth and your time to be wild and free by playing daddy to some kid that is not even yours.

there is a time and place for everything. You will have to become a stable, responsible and nurturing dad at some point, and if you dont, shame on you. So better get the wilder stuff out of your system now.

why exchange bar hopping, pub crawling and getting drunk and having sex all night for going bowling or on a picnic or watching finding fucking Nemo with a child?

I'm 35. It's fucking time.

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DespondentDeity posted...

Still projecting, it's obvious from the way you talk about women in general, the kid issue is just an opportunity for you to express your misogyny.

oh wow, now its about sexism.

you are what is wrong with modern relationships and dating, @DespondentDeity .

youre the kind of guy who screams MISOGYNY!!! If a guy refuses to put women in a pedestal.

Men and women are equal. A woman is free to say she doesnt want to play baby momma to someone elses kid, or deal with your ex-wife.

Its a two way street. Women can demand tall men, 7 figure salaries, 20 inch penises and the body of a Greek god, its their right, more power to them. But men can also demand C cup boobs, size 0 clothes, no kids and nobody older than 30, its their prerogative too. The difference is you worship the former set of requirements while calling the latter set of requirements misogyny.

You're pathetic, don't @ me.

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Kids are gonna be her priority over the guy. Kids are gonna be shitty towards the guy. Dad always does it better. Good luck trying to punish them. Mom is looking for a man to step up to support but not actually raise them. ...

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DespondentDeity posted...

You're pathetic, don't @ me.

Good comeback!

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C7D posted...

Kids are gonna be her priority over the guy. Kids are gonna be shitty towards the guy. Dad always does it better. Good luck trying to punish them. Mom is looking for a man to step up to support but not actually raise them. ...

This is all based on pretty toxic stereotypes rather than reality

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