Board 8 > Name a character and I will rate them: 2020 Edition

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Anagram
02/05/20 11:51:56 AM
#101:


Bart Simpson

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scarletspeed7
02/05/20 11:56:14 AM
#102:


hombad46 posted...
Gilderoy Lockhart (Harry Potter)
For my money, the greatest character in Harry Potter. An absolute charlatan, the natural charisma of Lockhart is played counter-intuitively to great effect. Witness Harry's clarity on the subject of Lockhart (buttressed by Ron's less-than-subjective opinion) and know that the way to create a strong protagonist is to allow them to earnestly question the opinions and attitudes of a rigid society already demonstrated as one plagued with poor decisions. Lockhart is a con artist, one who takes great advantage of a culture that should have so many ways of presenting frauds, and be impressed at just how simple his ruse is, and yet how far he is able to climb on the back of one easy trick.
Rating: 96/100


PumpkinCoach posted...
Columbo
Never trust a man who you can't look in the eye.
Rating: 62/100


Zigzagoon posted...
Captain Carue
QUACK! Not necessarily an earth-shattering superstar character, but Carue is certainly a touch of flavor that only enhances his arcs of One Piece.
Rating: 64/100


ertyu0078 posted...
Aya brea
A strong anchor to a series that is fairly devoid of good writing, Aya Brea is a character that overcomes story.
Rating: 83/100


Hbthebattle posted...
Kirby
Yet another "I LIEK DESIGN" nomination, Kirby is all fluff and no real substance. Generally speaking, I'm not a fan of mute, two-dimensional characters, and while I enjoy Kirby games for their gameplay, Kirby himself is pretty much the definition of uninteresting to me.
Rating: 8/100

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"It is too easy being monsters. Let us try to be human." ~Victor Frankenstein, Penny Dreadful
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scarletspeed7
02/05/20 11:57:51 AM
#103:


Anagram posted...
Bart Simpson
As mentioned twice previously, I do not enjoy The Simpsons. The jokes are the most obvious possible options on any given subject, and the characters are particularly one-note. Add to Bart the dull mainstream 90s sensibility, and you have something I really don't care about.
Rating: 44/100

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hombad46
02/05/20 12:16:46 PM
#104:


Crocodile (One Piece)

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"That's Engarde hairflip metal detector tier btw"
-XIII_rocks
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Underleveled
02/05/20 12:55:33 PM
#105:


Madison (Zombieland: Double Tap)

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darkx
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Snake5555555555
02/05/20 12:59:55 PM
#106:


Marionette (Erika Manson) (Watchmen)

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scarletspeed7
02/05/20 1:25:53 PM
#107:


hombad46 posted...
Crocodile (One Piece)
I am (according to Ermine) close to the end of his arc, and yet Crocodile has yet to prove himself a remotely compelling villain. This has proven true of nearly every villain in the series thus far, save one. 120 episodes in, I think the greatest flaw of this show is the lack of villains worth remembering.
Rating: 51/100


Underleveled posted...
Madison (Zombieland: Double Tap)
An absolutely fantastic addition to a cast that felt fairly stale in its second outing, Madison is exactly the sort of shot-in-the-arm injection that Last Man on Earth consistently provided in order to maintain the excitement of that similar post-apocalyptic series.
Rating: 74/100


Snake5555555555 posted...
Marionette (Erika Manson) (Watchmen)
She was my new comic character of the year in 2018 for a reason. Between Marionette's insane comedic antics and her innate chemistry with Mime, Geoff Johns struck gold with this combination that was one part Watchmen, one part Charlton Punch and Judy, and one part functional Joker/Harley. Marionette is never anything less than a captivating star.
Rating: 94/100

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hombad46
02/05/20 1:40:41 PM
#108:


Doctor Hiriluk (One Piece)

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"That's Engarde hairflip metal detector tier btw"
-XIII_rocks
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Snake5555555555
02/05/20 1:42:19 PM
#109:


Seriously. So good!

Kyle Schneider/Black Ninja (Metal Gear)

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IfGodCouldDie
02/05/20 2:21:21 PM
#110:


Alright, Kirk Lazarus.

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Great_Paul
02/05/20 2:23:39 PM
#111:


scarletspeed7 posted...
Kirby
Rating: 8/100


And this is how scarlet became ertyu's favourite user.

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Bear Bro
So, confirmed Santa's #1 helper is a squirrel.
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Fastbreak
02/05/20 2:31:59 PM
#112:


"Fresh Squeezed" Orange Cassidy

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Lopen
02/05/20 2:41:03 PM
#113:


"Spanish God" Sammy Guevara

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No problem!
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Anagram
02/05/20 3:08:20 PM
#114:


the guy whose hand Obi-Wan cuts off

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Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig.
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scarletspeed7
02/05/20 3:13:03 PM
#115:


hombad46 posted...
Doctor Hiriluk (One Piece)
The further you dive into the secondary players of One Piece, the more poorly written and derivative they are. That's not good news for our good doctor and his wacky Patch Adams "I don't play by any rule except First Do No Harm" mentality. Motherfucker was offed by an illiterate reindeer. How embarrassing.
Rating: 50/100


Snake5555555555 posted...
Seriously. So good!

Kyle Schneider/Black Ninja (Metal Gear)
I've played every Metal Gear game (except Survive and Acid), and I had to look this guy up. Truly a sign of unremarkability.
Rating: 38/100


IfGodCouldDie posted...
Alright, Kirk Lazarus.
A brilliant satirical dissection of the insane lengths actors go to validate their sense of art. Ultimate, Kirk Lazarus is the wisest character in Tropic Thunder, but this wisdom is mired in the marsh of Hollywood's self-arrogance, a society that has become more and more walled off from the rest of the world, poisoned by a self-obsessed industry.
Rating: 88/100


Fastbreak posted...
"Fresh Squeezed" Orange Cassidy
Easily my favorite character in AEW, Orange Cassidy took the simplest wrestling concept and has turned it into a versatile role that has bottomless creativity on constant display. Cassidy also airs that old school sense of coolness, a James Dean-like economy of emotion and action that makes his every movement matter.
Rating: 86/100


Lopen posted...
"Spanish God" Sammy Guevara
The star of my favorite story arc on AEW. Someday he will win the heart of Vanessa Hudgens. Guevara is far from the most interesting character, but his ringwork can be quite entertaining, and he is a fantastic secondary antagonist. I just don't see room for him in a starring role.
Rating: 67/100

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scarletspeed7
02/05/20 3:13:22 PM
#116:


Anagram posted...
the guy whose hand Obi-Wan cuts off
Not rating characters without names.

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"It is too easy being monsters. Let us try to be human." ~Victor Frankenstein, Penny Dreadful
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hombad46
02/05/20 3:20:00 PM
#117:


Joseph Joestar (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure)

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/jjba/images/4/43/JosephJoestar123.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/985?cb=20170521193900

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"That's Engarde hairflip metal detector tier btw"
-XIII_rocks
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scarletspeed7
02/05/20 3:21:45 PM
#118:


hombad46 posted...
Joseph Joestar (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure)

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/jjba/images/4/43/JosephJoestar123.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/985?cb=20170521193900
Looks like the sort of wish fulfillment character onto which people who watch anime would glom.
Rating: 20/100

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"It is too easy being monsters. Let us try to be human." ~Victor Frankenstein, Penny Dreadful
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hombad46
02/05/20 3:27:50 PM
#119:


Killer Croc

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"That's Engarde hairflip metal detector tier btw"
-XIII_rocks
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Anagram
02/05/20 3:28:39 PM
#120:


Jabba the Hutt

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scarletspeed7
02/05/20 3:30:01 PM
#121:


hombad46 posted...
Killer Croc
I have never really found a satisfying grasp of Croc as a character. I think he best serves the comic universe as a secondary member of a villain team or a one-off antagonist between larger story arcs. A palette cleanser might be the best descriptor for him. Not every villain has to wow me with insight into the ways we subjectively interpret human emotions as insanity. Croc represents a monster in Gotham, and that's not something easily created. Primal nature is represented by Ivy, and for the flora side, we must complement things with the fauna. Croc reaches back to the notions of dragons and the need to slay them. I just don't have to particularly care about the character while I do it.
Rating: 53/100

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"It is too easy being monsters. Let us try to be human." ~Victor Frankenstein, Penny Dreadful
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scarletspeed7
02/05/20 3:31:50 PM
#122:


Anagram posted...
Jabba the Hutt
Jabba should be a grand quest-giver to the Star Wars legacy. I see the Hutts, in their best iteration, as the mob bosses to whom all the great bounty hunters begin. There is a galactic chess game being played in the Star Wars underworld - power being accrued, enemies being eliminated, pieces pushed on a board for reasons known only to the players and not the pawns. Jabba is iconic and memorable because he summons up a visceral representation of the greedy, manipulative leaders of an old-time underworld.
Rating: 58/100

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Underleveled
02/05/20 3:36:36 PM
#123:


Shadow the Hedgehog

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darkx
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hombad46
02/05/20 3:36:40 PM
#124:


Bart Allen

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"That's Engarde hairflip metal detector tier btw"
-XIII_rocks
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Murphiroth
02/05/20 3:42:15 PM
#125:


Isaac Clarke

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Anagram
02/05/20 3:46:01 PM
#126:


Hal Jordan

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Started: July 6, 2005
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Fastbreak
02/05/20 3:59:03 PM
#127:


Ric Flair

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Snake5555555555
02/05/20 4:07:14 PM
#128:


Haha, you know I kind of like Kyle Schneider as a primitive/prototypical example of the multi-game arcs & set-ups Kojima would later be known for, especially the Cyborg Ninja identity. Here you have this minor radio support character from the first game brought back into an expanded and differing role from the first, back when stories in sequels in games weren't always top priority. It's just neat to me.

Jenny Blake (The Rocketeer)

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Too much horror business, drivin' late at night
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trdl23
02/05/20 4:40:25 PM
#129:


Kanji Tatsumi (Persona 4)

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E come vivo? Vivo!
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MetalmindStats
02/05/20 4:54:18 PM
#130:


Ford Prefect (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

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"I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people who do."
You won the CBX Guru Contest, Advokaiser! Bully for you!
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Lolo_Guru
02/05/20 5:58:43 PM
#131:


Woody (Toy Story series)
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Lolo
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scarletspeed7
02/06/20 1:18:07 PM
#132:


Underleveled posted...
Shadow the Hedgehog
Overly edgy and ultimately fairly uninspired. Like most of the Sonic series, compelling for children but pretty lightweight for adults.
Rating: 43/100


hombad46 posted...
Bart Allen
Bart was at his peak capacity as a character in the late 90s and early 00s, serving as the nonstop comic relief of both Young Justice and the Teen Titans. While suddenly foisting him into the Flash role was bold, it also proved quite stupid. The character didn't need to evolve so quickly; there is always room for exploration in young characters while they remain young, and it's good that DC rolled him back to Kid Flash eventually.
Rating: 72/100


Murphiroth posted...
Isaac Clarke
Dead Space does not exactly foster meaningful storytelling, relying on atmosphere to convey virtually all of its unique personality. This also means that characters in Dead Space are nothing more than components of horror flavor. I don't particularly care about Isaac Clarke; there's not much depth to him, and he's really just a guy in armor that doesn't match up to Samus'.
Rating: 53/100


Anagram posted...
Hal Jordan
Geoff Johns and Grant Morrison both understand the value of Hal Jordan, something that I think was taken for granted for decade upon decade until Hal was eventually driven into insanity and given a redemption arc. For me, the evolution to Parallax and then to the Spectre was endlessly fascinating and one of the most important ingredients in 90s DC, but after that point, Johns demonstrated exactly why Hal was needed. The Silver Age has its place still in modern comics.
Rating: 81/100


Fastbreak posted...
Ric Flair
Ric Flair was compelling up until 1999, and at that point he became a complete nostalgia act, where impersonators actually outperformed him on a week-to-week basis. I look back fondly on his runs in the 90s, however.
Rating: 74/100

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"It is too easy being monsters. Let us try to be human." ~Victor Frankenstein, Penny Dreadful
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scarletspeed7
02/06/20 1:23:46 PM
#133:


Snake5555555555 posted...
Jenny Blake (The Rocketeer)
This is likely a referendum on Jennifer Connelly, but I don't for the life of me remember a single interesting action taken by Jenny in The Rocketeer. She's little more than a damsel in distress.
Rating: 46/100


trdl23 posted...
Kanji Tatsumi (Persona 4)
Kanji, harassed for his same-sex preferences, represents the victim of the sort of ultra-conservative toxicity in the Persona series. It's become clear that members of the various Persona organizations, from the Kirijo Corporation and their ilk all the way forward, are neanderthals with archaic sensibilities. Kanji should be allowed to love who he wants to love without having to sacrifice his reputation for it.
Rating: 83/100


MetalmindStats posted...
Ford Prefect (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
Around the ages of nine or ten, I fell in love with the Hitchhiker's series, and I probably read the five main books about thirty times in the subsequent few years. There are few novels more quotable, and also few characters more naturally cool than Ford Prefect. By the way, Mos Def was an excellent casting choice for the role.
Rating: 84/100


Lolo_Guru posted...
Woody (Toy Story series)
As the years go by, I become less and less enchanted with the otherwise dull, middle-of-the-road good guy character of Woody. He's a pale imitation, a processed, Disneyfied version of superior Western sheriff characters.
Rating: 68/100

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"It is too easy being monsters. Let us try to be human." ~Victor Frankenstein, Penny Dreadful
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Underleveled
02/06/20 1:56:28 PM
#134:


Stacee Jaxx (Rock of Ages)

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darkx
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hombad46
02/06/20 2:04:19 PM
#135:


Futaba Sakura (Persona 5)

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"That's Engarde hairflip metal detector tier btw"
-XIII_rocks
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Anagram
02/06/20 2:14:34 PM
#136:


Batzarro

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Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig.
Started: July 6, 2005
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Lolo_Guru
02/06/20 2:17:11 PM
#137:


Donald Duck
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Snake5555555555
02/06/20 2:34:59 PM
#138:


Homelander (The Boys)

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IfGodCouldDie
02/06/20 3:04:11 PM
#139:


Captain Raymond Holt (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

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scarletspeed7
02/06/20 5:22:15 PM
#140:


Underleveled posted...
Stacee Jaxx (Rock of Ages)
Somewhere between Bret Michaels and Lestat is the only notable character of Rock of Ages. Being notable, alas, doesn't make you good. Just notable.
Rating: 51/100


hombad46 posted...
Futaba Sakura (Persona 5)
She ended up just being a Japanese copycat clone of Barbara Gordon, in the end.
Rating: 62/100


Anagram posted...
Batzarro
Like most loud, obnoxious comedy characters, I really don't have a lot of time for the Bizarros. I don't begrudge other people enjoying characters like Batzarro, but it's just not my brand of humor.
Rating: 58/100


Lolo_Guru posted...
Donald Duck
Speaking of loud, obnoxious comedy characters, I loathe Donald Duck. I detest incomprehensibility being used as a source of humor, and that seems to be the primary fallback for Donald. Angry? Make loud quacking sounds and act flabbergasted. Scared? Make loud quacking sounds and act flabbergasted. Happy? Make loud quacking sounds and act flabbergasted. Donald Duck is about as one-note as you can get.
Rating: 20/100


Snake5555555555 posted...
Homelander (The Boys)
If I was going solely on the comic, Homelander wouldn't rate nearly as highly as he does thanks to the phenomenal television series. Homelander is the right kind of terrifying; he can be an absolute hero and mock that concept in the next breath. He's a true psychopath, lacking any empathy whatsoever. How easy it was for him to kill someone he loved without a moment of hesitation! So often, DC has attempted to create an evil Superman, but never once did they come close to the actual palpable, tangible feeling of horror I feel when I watch Homelander on The Boys.
Rating: 84/100


IfGodCouldDie posted...
Captain Raymond Holt (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)
In a show full of top tier characters, Holt anchors the cast with his own brand of quiet, cerebral horror. No other character can make me laugh so heartily about things like postmodern art or virtuoso oboists. That's a true crowning achievement.
Rating: 87/100

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Underleveled
02/06/20 5:23:58 PM
#141:


The Fairy Godmother (Shrek 2)

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darkx
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hombad46
02/06/20 5:29:06 PM
#142:


Raiden (MGS)

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"That's Engarde hairflip metal detector tier btw"
-XIII_rocks
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Lolo_Guru
02/06/20 5:33:09 PM
#143:


Doc Emmett Brown (Back to the future)
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Lolo
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NFUN
02/06/20 5:44:29 PM
#144:


hombad46 posted...
Raiden (MGS)
As I mentioned in an earlier writeup, I've become increasingly disillusioned with the faux-philosophical world of Metal Gear. A few characters such as Snake remain appealing in spite of this and are enthralling regardless of setting. Raiden is not so lucky. He epitomizes the edgy, shallow flaws I've come to see in the series, a character embalmed in the late-90s aesthetic he was created in.
Rating: 42/100

i'll make a spreadsheet for you if you want these repeats are driving me crazy too

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scarletspeed7
02/06/20 5:51:41 PM
#145:


I have a spreadsheet going for this edition. I didn't rate Raiden yet!

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Anagram
02/06/20 5:56:30 PM
#146:


jimmy olsen

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Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig.
Started: July 6, 2005
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scarletspeed7
02/06/20 5:57:28 PM
#147:


Underleveled posted...
The Fairy Godmother (Shrek 2)
Like everything post-Shrek 1, I have no investment in the Fairy Godmother. Quite simply, the writing in Shrek 2 is absolutely horrid. Unlike Fables, Shrek does a disservice to the original material from which it borrows, melting away all of the timelessness and offering something that can only be enjoyable for children. I don't care because it's clear I'm not supposed to care.
Rating: 30/100


hombad46 posted...
Raiden (MGS)
To be fair to NFUN, my opinion on Metal Gear HAS changed very little since the last time I rated Raiden. He really does embody Kojima's love for a certain kind of edginess that highlights how little development some of his characters actually receive. Lots of things are done TO characters in Metal Gear, but very few things seem to affect characters in Metal Gear. Oftentimes, I feel the series is built on reaching big moments, but the legwork to get there is very weak. Raiden really highlights this teflon quality in the characters of being fairly disaffected by things around them, even when events clearly should transform their personalities entirely.
Rating: 47/100


Lolo_Guru posted...
Doc Emmett Brown (Back to the future)
Wild-eyed and wild-haired, Doc Brown is really not a character so much as a caricature of a personality, a hairdo that defines everything you need to know about the character. Three movies into the series, I had grown quite tired of this one-dimensional shouter (again, loud characters do nothing for me), and I was ready to go back in time and erase him for good.
Rating: 37/100

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hombad46
02/06/20 5:57:38 PM
#148:


scarletspeed7 posted...
I have a spreadsheet going for this edition. I didn't rate Raiden yet!

I searched the topic and didnt see him. Oh well.

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scarletspeed7
02/06/20 5:59:40 PM
#149:


Anagram posted...
jimmy olsen
Over time, I grow more and more enamored with Jimmy Olsen. There is a right way and a wrong way to present Jimmy. The right is to give him just a teensy-tiny iota of coolness. Jimmy Olsen stumbles his way into a dinosaur kingdom hidden underground and is made their prince accidentally. Jimmy Olsen trips over the plug powering an alien superweapon, singlehandedly defeating their fleet. Add to that this: Jimmy Olsen shattered his phone screen during the alien invasion, missing his date with Chloe Sullivan, leaving him forever alone. THAT'S how you do Jimmy. The wrong way to present Jimmy is a nerd that can't hack it without the incomparable Lois Lane at his side or the Man of Steel propping him up.
Rating: 75/100

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scarletspeed7
02/06/20 6:00:27 PM
#150:


hombad46 posted...
I searched the topic and didnt see him. Oh well.
You're good, I hadn't rated him yet for this edition. I don't mind rerating from previous editions since it's been a long time. Except for Satan from Paradise Lost because I've had to do it about 39832049 times.

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