Current Events > DSPGaming General 10 (Year Legacy): Thousand Dollar Cat Edition

(+) Yeah! (+)

Phil has no idea how to deal with cat behavior. Shocking.
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Vyrulisse posted...

Phil has no idea how to deal with cat behavior. Shocking.

*cat drags empty food dish into Phil's room*

Phil: "What am I supposed to do? The cat doesn't explain anything!"
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jpenny2 posted...

*cat drags empty food dish into Phil's room*

Phil: "What am I supposed to do? The cat doesn't explain anything!"

Lol

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What recent dsp playthrough has the most genuine rage moments
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jpenny2 posted...

Vyrulisse posted...

Phil has no idea how to deal with cat behavior. Shocking.

*cat drags empty food dish into Phil's room*

Phil: "What am I supposed to do? The cat doesn't explain anything!"

Bugged Feline Mechanics dood.
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Vyrulisse posted...

Phil has no idea how to deal with cat behavior. Shocking.

Phil has no idea how to deal with anything:

"I am in the worst financial situation of my life."
-Doesn't make any effort to improve the situstion.

"Taxes, I need money for my taxes."
-Doesn't set aside a portion of his income.

"These are online tactics, that would never work offline."
-Hasn't played a game in an offline/tournament setting in a decade."

"Why is no one talking in chat?"
-Doesn't know how to carry a conversation, nor make an effort to get better at it.

"The game doesn't tell me what to do!"
-Except that it did, you ignored it and now rely on handholding.

"I am massively overdrawn."
-Doesn't use his CT condo to generate a passive income.

"I never have time to do anything."
-Yet adheres to his schedule like it was the word of God.

"You don't know what you are talking about, you are an idiot."
-Then proves the person in question right, and shows he has no knowledge about the subject at hand.

"I am not a children's entertainer."
-Belittles his audience every chance he gets, saying they don't understand "adult" stuff.
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"Contributions are not mandatory."
-Complains almost every stream when donations are low.
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Spooking posted...

Achievement title: Going out on a L.I.M.B.

I laughed.
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Nazanir posted...

Achievement title: Going out on a L.I.M.B.

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Lol that was great. He Thanos snapped his chat. The Infinity gout.
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Spooking posted...

Makes me wonder if Dave was flustered during his BL3 playthrough because he is terrible at the game or because he had chat on his mind.

Have you ever seem Phil be actually good at a game he played?

Well...

There's your answer.
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He did say earlier that Black Ops 4 is the best streams for interaction, yet tomorrow's stream of it will be the last one. I guess it's the best interaction for him, since he hides in a bathroom the entire time while playing. So, instead of continuing this game for a stream, he will stop playing it altogether and go back to his usual self of not interacting with his chat, although he didn't do much of that either way.
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MasterVG782 posted...

He did say earlier that Black Ops 4 is the best streams for interaction, yet tomorrow's stream of it will be the last one. I guess it's the best interaction for him, since he hides in a bathroom the entire time while playing. So, instead of continuing this game for a stream, he will stop playing it altogether and go back to his usual self of not interacting with his chat, although he didn't do much of that either way.

Does it even matter what he plays anymore? He hates everything, and every stream is just him complaining that chat isn't interacting with him enough. Or him complaining that tips are low. Or both. It's honestly almost scary how much worse he's become over the past couple years. 2017 DSP was an awful streamer and a terrible human being, but he's light years better than current DSP.
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Viewer: Why don't you ask questions and talk to us? Entertain us, you're the streamer.

DSP: That's not how it works! I'm playing a game, you ask questions about the game!
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He might be in a decline that he won't be able to recover him from the way things are right now. He'll have to change the way he's doing things at some point if he wants to continue doing this as a main source of income. His whales won't be there to bail him out forever.

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We have been blessed with a new Mini Arc in the Marriage Saga.

Phil started his stream late, this is nothing new. But he is angry, and damn it, you'll know why! The story is a real... well, something.

We all know how Phil and Kat celebrated her birthday: they did some groceries and went to sonic. Sounds like a real great fucking birthday. But a surprise arrived:

Apparantly, Phil's parents gave Kat a training/exercise bike. This was delivered in front of the garage. Phil's inconvenience started here, he had to free up time from his busy schedule, because he had to get up, go to the front door and see whether something was delivered or not.

But Phil's trouble didn't end there. Oh no.... You see, the bike came disassembled. So once again, Phil had to take a hit so he could something "nice" (his actual words) for his wife, and assemble the bike himself. Time went by, Phil got the job done and you'd think all would be well. You'd again, be wrong.

You see, the structural integrity of the bike was bad. So bad that Kat somehow hurt herself pretty badly trying the bike out. For some reason this pissed off Phil. Which is weird, because Kat was the one getting hurt. This will be the first of several "weird" things about this story.

Phil, dissatisfied with the bike (again, weird, it's not his present) decided to return it to Amazon. But Phil being Phil, this of course was a HUGE elaborate task, that presented itself with a lot of problems. First of all, Phil refused to disassemble the bike. He insisted that it be picked up as is. So Amazon had to go out of their way to send a truck to our plucky hero, in order to collect the faulty bike. Unfortunately, the truck that was send to collect the bike had some issues (flat tire or something?) so they weren't able to collect

This outraged Phil, because HE was inconvenienced, and it was HIS money. Wait, did he say HIS money? Of course he means Kat's or no, he means his parents money. Strangely enough, Phil was also pissed because of Jasper. Apparently he was locked up the entire day because of this (fucking asshole) and this naturally further inconvenienced Phil.

Phil also goes out of his way to explain during all of this, that his parents bought this gift. But it is HE who is inconvenienced, it was HIS money (and then crawls back on that) and HE is upset that Kat got hurt.

He also explains that his parents would never "just give money", which is weird, didn't his parents pay for his wedding? Didn't his parents pay 4.000 dollars for Phil's taxes, and didn't he admit that his parents are paying for Jasper?

The whole story is weird like that, details keep changing. But mostly, even though it actually is Kat's story, Phil is the victim here. If you compare the story to Leanna's hospitalization, you see remarkable similarities.

I know Phil wanted to make the story look like how he was the victim, but it actually showed how disconnected from reality he is, and how hard he tries to keep up the lie.

It's honestly not out the realm of possibility that Phil bought this gift himself (and for some reason, he refused to disclose the brand/type of the bike), but because he never has money, it can't possibly come from him because then he "looks bad". Never mind the fact that he already looks horrible, because he took his wise grocery shopping on her goddamn birthday, and only got a present from her in-laws, and not her loving husband.

The whole story is weird as fuck, and makes Kat look stupid.

Also, bonus.

A couple of sites have referenced Phil, when he tried to defend his racism a couple of stream ago:

https://www.gamerevolution.com/news/597871-dsp-racist-jokes-okay-gout-teasing-not
https://www.dailydot.com/upstream/darksydephil-twitch-racist/
https://www.dexerto.com/entertainment/twitch-streamer-under-fire-trying-explain-why-racist-jokes-ok-1041587
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The moral of the bike story: Phil did nothing wrong. Also, the best way you can help him right now is to tip him.
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Spooking posted...

Nazanir posted...

So bad that Kat somehow hurt herself pretty badly trying the bike out.

Do Kat or Phil know that you get sore a day after working out? Especially after not working out for 1+ year(s).?

Who are you kidding, Phil doesn't have time to work out!
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One thing I gotta respect wings for is that he went several times into the troll discord to debate them and also went on a few podcasts.

Phil is terrified of human interaction because they'll call him out and invalidate everything he's built himself up as, but wings is not so scared of that.

Phil lied about why he did not do the drunken peasants podcasts, uses the detractors as scapegoats for not doing anything at all and his dumbass chat eats it up.

Wings even spoke to the down the rabbit hole guy in a non confrontational manner, and actually admits when he's wrong. He's trashy, but better than pigroach.
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MightyD's vid on him mass lean in banning everyone was funny as fuck
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Phil would be so much more relatable if he could just admit he was wrong once in a while. "I did nothing wrong" is the principle by which he lives his entire life. It seems like a joke or a meme, but it's something he repeats over and over the way a religious person might recite the Lord's Prayer.
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Bahahahahahaha.

Phil's last Blackout Stream has happened, and his final death was at the hands of someone called: DipSh_tScamPhil

I swear I am not making this up, it was fucking glorious.

[edit]: Phil stayed up till far in the night to argue about this incident. Saying that it "reminded" him why he hated Blackout to begin with. Which is weird, because that means that he played a game he hated for a year.

These really are the best kind of "trolls", they don't try to provoke him in chat, they don't give him money/subs. It's just a name, and it gets him riled up more than anything, because Phil literally loses sleep over it. Ironically, just days ago Phil said people needed thicker skin, but someone kicking his ass online is enough to send him into a frenzy of butthurt.
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VoightKent posted...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9rz3yZIu40" data-time="&start=1715
I don't think Phil knows what 'penultimate' means

He uses lots of words incorrectly in a hilariously bad attempt to sound more mature and intelligent.

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He can't go to a gym, he has no time! He's tired after streaming, he has to eat dinner and wash the dishes! You have no clue what goes into running a business!
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I heard the other day that he was saying he had no time after streaming because he had to go shower. First off, that couch must just reek. Secondly, it's always hilarious when basic tasks are monumental challenges for him.

Take a shower? Oh my God, the whole evening is shot! Where the hell did the time go? I am completely exhausted and might be late to the stream tomorrow!

Pay my taxes? What, woah, woah! Since when do adults in the United States have to pay taxes? How was I supposed to know I needed to put money away for that? Please, you need to send me thousands of dollars right now!
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He literally considers grocery shopping the same thing as a workout
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VoightKent posted...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgXV8TN_bWY" data-time="&start=844

DSP doing some projection here? Feels a bit much of an insult against someone who simply criticized his lack of commentary
I always found it ironic how Philip feels bullied by twitch chat when he always used to insult other youtubers and stream chatters. But now he's some sensitive sanctimonious drama queen

It says something about a person (and not just Phil, although he definitely fits) when their immediate response to criticism is to start throwing insults.
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Stream saw nothing for 2 hours because goutsyde was fiddling with the console's wires.
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LightningAce11 posted...

Stream saw nothing for 2 hours because goutsyde was fiddling with the console's wires.

This was classic Phil.

He has the troubleshooting skills of a rock. He called it an unboxing, all you saw was the box for a brief second. He said he'd hook it up live during stream, but instead of aiming his camera at his setup, people were looking at a black screen while Phil was mumbling around in the background.

He did zero research, he did zero prep work, he didn't involve his chat at all, he didn't bother to make it entertaining. Oh and the kicker? Why people needed to look at a black screen for all this time?

A cable wasn't properly connected.

Serring up a Genesis Mini, or any console for that matter, shouldn't take more than 5 minutes: HDMI cable, power cable and an ethernet cable. THAT'S FUCKING IT.

This man's incompetence knows no bounds. He loves saying he is like the average gamer, who should not be granted advantages like advanced copies of games and stuff, but goddamn is that an insult to gamers everywhere. And speaking of incompetence, this is a quote directly from the stream:

"The Genesis controller had 3 buttons (shows controller to the camera) which is technically more than the Nintendo controller which had 2."
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Phil will do anything to avoid actually playing the games, so a delay due to technical issues is pretty much the best he can hope for. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if something like that was at least partially intentional.
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Phil: something bad has happened, I have financial woes and I hope it doesn't affect the stream

Also Phil: literally sharing the woes letting it affect the stream.

He literally said "you guys don't come here to hear about my financial troubles" as he was talking about his financial troubles.

I can't wait for Thanksgiving, when the Tax Saga returns: Me, Myself and IRS.
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Spooking posted...

Why does he have 1+ hour pre-streams? That shit is ridiculous.

They tend to make him quite a bit of money.
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Nazanir posted...

Spooking posted...

Why does he have 1+ hour pre-streams? That shit is ridiculous.

They tend to make him quite a bit of money.

I'm pretty sure he also likes to hear himself talk. He just rambles on and on excessively about subjects, most importantly, the "worst financial crisis of his life" and how he doesn't have enough money to buy the games he "wants to play." Also, this way, you don't see him play games horribly and he has less time to play games, since it's obvious he doesn't really enjoy them anymore.
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The quartering covers dsp. His reply is is below in the comments.

https://mobile.twitter.com/TheQuartering/status/1176695869372096512
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LightningAce11 posted...

The quartering covers dsp. His reply is is below in the comments.

https://mobile.twitter.com/TheQuartering/status/1176695869372096512

Apparantly an interview is happening:

https://twitter.com/TheQuartering/status/1177040561439674368?s=09

Anyone wan a take bets whether or not Phil will pussy out? I really want it yo happen though, I would love to see Phil try to defend himself against some "out of context" remarks against him, and even more see him defend his racism.

Also, just want to get this out there: Jeremy/The Quartering is also a lolcow. Not as big as Phil, but this whole ordeal could get really interesting.
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Dsp can't change or imrpove because of cancel culture. The slander has stunted his growth!
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Spooking posted...

LightningAce11 posted...

Dsp can't change or imrpove because of cancel culture. The slander has stunted his growth!

What is his excuse for his extreme laziness and lying?

I assume his excuse is that those things aren't true; it's the detractors who are saying he's lazy and and a liar.
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The Quartering interviewing DSP could be the funniest thing of the decade. That guy is miles dumber than Phil. My mind doesn't even know where to begin processing any of this.

And just because some of people's exaggerations here are really annoying, people do not stare at a black screen for over two hours. It was about 15 minutes, I know because I was skimming through the video. And it's really not that big of a deal. Shit happens when you are setting up new consoles for streaming. Who carries

But God I hope this interview happens even if I'm going to die laughing
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WallStreetWolf posted...

The Quartering interviewing DSP could be the funniest thing of the decade. That guy is miles dumber than Phil. My mind doesn't even know where to begin processing any of this.

And just because some of people's exaggerations here are really annoying, people do not stare at a black screen for over two hours. It was about 15 minutes, I know because I was skimming through the video. And it's really not that big of a deal. Shit happens when you are setting up new consoles for streaming. Who carries

But God I hope this interview happens even if I'm going to die laughing

Yeah I know, I reeeeaaaally want this interview to happen. But I agree with you on Jeremy/The Quartering: the guy has done zero research into Phil, but he has asked people like Memology and ItsAGundam to ask one question to Phil and yhey both seem way better versed in "DSP" lore than he does, so I hope that'll get some traction.

Of course, all of this lives or dies wether the interview actually happens saturday, and Phil not planning to be sick or some other bullshit excuse.
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I don't think he's dumb for not really knowing much about Phil and not doing research, the guy is just an alt-right quack that thinks the SJW bogeyman is real. Seeing someone so stupid interact with DSP is going to be entertaining. I don't even care about the questions
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