Board 8 > Gauntlet Crew Ranks (more!) Animated Films! - I've got horns for making lists

(+) Yeah! (+)

Although I've only seen 15 of these movies so I won't know most of them!
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Oh if Snake didn't rank Minions last then I also think this is possibly Minions
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I just can't comprehend someone putting Minions in their top half...
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Zigzagoon posted...

I just can't comprehend someone putting Minions in their top half...

The creator of Minions might.
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so i herd u liek minionz
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I liked Minions!
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39. Minions

Inviso: 19
Stifled: 21
Johnbobb: 30
Genny: 34
JONA: 34
red: 35
charon: 36
Ermine: 37
Karo: 37
scarlet: 39
Snake: 39

Total: 361

Inviso: There wasnt a TON of depth to this movie, but it worked for what it was. The minions were cute as always, especially with their bizarre semi-Spanish language making half the dialogue as incomprehensible. But it was a FUN movie. The minions themselves are fun little side characters, and in a way, this was just like Penguins of Madagascar. Youre not trying to be deep or tell a fascinating story. Youre just telling a goofy little story with the side characters from an existing franchise, along with a comically over-the- top villain. In this case, Sandra Bullock as a violent psychopath is actually pretty funny, as is the portrayal of Queen Elizabeth. So yeah, fun movie.

Stifled: I saw this before I saw the Despicable Me movies, but luckily I didnt feel like I lost out on any major plot points since its a prequel. I know a lot of people that find the Minions to be annoying, but I think theyre fun. In particular, this movie focused on a core group of them instead of the entire lot of them (although the whole lot did show up at times, but still). Too many on-screen characters can be hard to keep up with, so that was a smart decision. The villain was fun and appropriately menacing and a good time was had by all.

Traviss opinion: Travis likes bananas too. And he liked the Minions funny voices.

Johnbobb: THE WORD BANANA IS NOT A FUCKING JOKE JESUS CHRIST. Id be lying if I said I didnt laugh at least a little though. Better than I expected it to be, so thats something.

Genny: I for one never found the minions terribly annoying in Despicable Me. To clarify, that was before they became some sort of craze and the official Facebook meme mascot of some very questionable opinions. In other words, when they were in the background and not the spotlight, they enhanced the franchise instead of plopping a little yellow shit on it. Giving them their own movie was the diarrhea icing on the excrement cake of ideas. That said it wasn't the worst thing ever. I had some legitimate laughs even if the plot meandered and the whole thing was a little overlong. I think sadly I enjoyed the first act more than anything, including the intro with the evolution of the minion and the villain convention. This made nearly everything after the first 30 minutes or so a slog to sit through. It could be worse though.

JONA: Nothing in this movie is outright terrible but Im just not a fan of the Minions themselves. The time period this movie takes place in makes jokes and references that will go over kids heads. I guess this movie is made for moms who post Minions memes on Facebook.

red: If you can turn your brain off for an hour and a half, this isn't that bad of a movie. Unfortunately, the minions are dumb and there is only so much dumb your brain can take before it has to come back on. As we learn within about 5 minutes, the minions are pathetic and should have ceased to exist ages ago but through dumb luck are still living. And through a bunch of dumb luck willl find their master as they obviously had to do because this is a dumb prequel. I did get a few dumb laughs out of this(I got a kick out of them using the vast nothingness of Orlando for villaincon), so it did its job a few times. Unfortunately the minions are stupidly popular and this probably wont be the last we see of them.
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charon: Did you ever watch something become massively popular and have no idea why? Well, yes, you probably have because who here really could find any pleasure in the Minions. When Genny and I are out shopping together, I always find the Minions-themed merchandise (which can be found 3-4 times per shopping trip) and make a joke about it. These things just aren't funny or amusing in the slightest way to me. Okay, that's a lie. There might be a handful of times they have been funny in their existence, but usually it is in the main series that spawned this mess. A movie all their own was a bad idea; at least in terms of actually being good. The fact this thing made a billion dollars in the box office is a sure sign that we'll be ranking Minions 2 in the next project I host. There might not be movies bad enough to save it from the last spot next time.

Ermine: I think I expected to hate this movie more than I did but I think a big part of the reason why I don't is because it was more boring than it was terrible. Like, don't get me wrong, there were a ton of shitty scenes that are completely unfunny and made me want to gouge my eyes out, but as a whole it was really just a snooze fest. I figure the reason why it's boring is because I hate the minions and nothing they did was ever funny or interesting so whenever it wasn't rotting my brain, it was putting me to sleep. I was kind of interested when Scarlet was introduced that she'd be at least somewhat of an interesting character but she was somehow even more annoying than the Minions themselves, and that's really saying something.

In the end, was it awful? Yes. But was it worse than Flushed Away? Surprisingly not. And at the end of the day, that's really what matters.

Karo: This a prequel to Despicable Me that covers what the Minions did before they met Gru because that is nclearly a story that really needed to be told. Basically these yellow twinkie people are like the incompetent sidekicks to evil people throughout all of history, and for some reason they havent all died out due to not having a single female Minion. Now as you know, turning funny sidekicks into the lead characters never works. In fact, it works even less than usual this time because one, the Minions are not actually funny, and two, they dont speak any English. Half the time it is like watching a kids movie from Czechoslovakia with no subtitles. The whole film is pretty much just the Minions going around various places doing dumb things while babbling like cretins, which is supposed to be cute or something. Minions is a stupid, insipid, directionless piece of drivel, and I can see the brain cells of the world's children dying from here.
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scarlet: In every moment possible, Minions skirts away from a smart joke in favor of babbling incoherence, which is likely the watchword of a script so vapid, so devoid of intelligence, so drained of cognizant thought that not even a lesser imitator attempting to copy Minions with a half-assed plagiarism-skirting rip-off would be as unfunny or simplistically obvious as Minions. Every chance a shred of a plot rears its head, its force-fed from the mouth-rectums of its three leads, spewing drivel to one another like a Minion version of a Human Centipede. Want jokes? Sorry, the film is so desperate to make even the most brain-dead, drop-kicked-on-the-head-as-a-baby, lobotomized-with-an-icepick preschool snotflicker understand whats happening that every joke is neutered from over-explanation into a tapioca pudding of images and gurgling doofishness. So desperate is the film to explain its plot to even the most vegetative kindergarten drop out that it spends 45 seconds with yellow twinkies shouting ORLANDO ORLANDO ORLANDO to anyone left in the theater with a pulse who hasnt found a way to extricate themselves from their seat in a fit of madness in the hopes that the crowd will understand or possibly even care that three moving objects with the basic shape of a birds eye view of a school bus must reach a destination for purposes not made entirely clear to the audience. Cthulhu lives, and his face is that of the Minions. To see it is to know futility. To see it is to know the cynical fatalistic truth of death.

Forget an oversaturation of superheroes. Forget the dredging up of long-dead film properties. This is the death-knell of modern cinema. We are past the point of no return.
Rating: 15/100

Snake: I. DESPISE. MINIONS. What made anyone think I would want to watch a whole painful movie with these fuckers? Let me know so I can strangle them.
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Outlier scores:

Stifled: 29
Inviso: 22
charon: 12
JONA: 12
Johnbobb: 11
Genny: 5
red: 5
Ermine: 4
Snake: 4
Karo: 3
scarlet: 0

Stifled with a commanding lead now out of the gate on most of the field, but look out for Invisopinions charging up! scarlet remains at a perfect agreeable score for another day.
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Ermine and scarlet Guess Update

Minions

scarlet's prediction: 37
Ermine actual: 37 (0)
Total Difference: 0

Ermine's prediction: 34
scarlet actual: 39 (5)
Total difference: 6

scarlet remaining perfect everywhere.
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We're only getting 1 ranking a day? Not a complaint, just curious based on the last line there.
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scarlet is cheating :(
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Zigzagoon posted...

scarlet is cheating :(

There's a really funny story about that, but no. I'm actually not.
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scarletspeed7 posted...

We're only getting 1 ranking a day? Not a complaint, just curious based on the last line there.

I wrote this yesterday, thinking this would be posted late Monday. Since I felt bad today and didn't go in, there WILL be a second ranking tonight.
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v_charon posted...

scarletspeed7 posted...

We're only getting 1 ranking a day? Not a complaint, just curious based on the last line there.

I wrote this yesterday, thinking this would be posted late Monday. Since I felt bad today and didn't go in, there WILL be a second ranking tonight.

Gotcha. Again, no complaint if we're getting days with only 1.
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Hmm. Stifled and Son vs. Invisopinions. That's some PPV caliber shit right there.
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Definitely will be days like that. I like to post them at least several hours apart to encourage discussion. My job kinda prevents that from happening. I guess some days I can leave the info ready on the PC and Genny can take care of it for me but yeah. We've tried our best to avoid her knowing much so she can enjoy the reveals too.
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v_charon posted...

Definitely will be days like that. I like to post them at least several hours apart to encourage discussion. My job kinda prevents that from happening. I guess some days I can leave the info ready on the PC and Genny can take care of it for me but yeah. We've tried our best to avoid her knowing much so she can enjoy the reveals too.

Scroll the screen down to "Post Message" and just leave it there xD
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pretty understandable bottom 2 (even if there are a good handful of movies on this list way worse than Minions)
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Johnbobb posted...

pretty understandable bottom 2 (even if there are a good handful of movies on this list way worse than Minions)

Minions was the film where I decided I couldn't reasonably use my standard of rating films with good fundamentals in filmmaking at a higher level anymore.
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#38 Hint:

This film was only actually ranked at 38 or below by one person in the project despite finishing here.
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wow if only scarletspeed7 was this good at predicting wwe match outcomes i wouldn't have canceled wwe network
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I wonder if this could be my last place.
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Meh, it's not sausage party which means it's now difficult to predict X_X
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Sad reminder: Minions made more money than every other movie on this list.
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ya die my lorax
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StifledSilence posted...

ya die my lorax

i guess it's possible!
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predicting next one is Zootopia
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it's probably coco tbqh
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In regards to Minions, it's one of the movies I haven't gotten to yet. I had downloaded a foreign language copy and apparently there's a narrator. YOU PEOPLE LIED IN SAYING THERE WASN'T ANY DIALOGUE.

(I don't actually blame you guys)
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To steal the concept from Red, and knowing Karo had done predix for Ermy, I asked him for his predix.

The Emoji Movie
Karo's Predix: 37
Ermy's Actual: 38 (1)

Minions
Karo's Predix: 39
Ermy's Actual: 37 (2)

Total deviance: 3

Karo's comments so far: "though i clearly overestimated his hate for yellow twinkie twits"

Disclaimer: I don't think I'll actually get any further comments, it was just funny.
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Karo not starting off too good
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Damn. It wasnt THAT bad.
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You are right, it isn't quite as bad as Flushed Away. I'll give you that.
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Johnbobb posted...

I kind of want to say Ice Age here

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Zigzagoon posted...

it's probably coco tbqh

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Have a nice mug of Tapu Coco!
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Tag. Wish I'd finished, but things came up, as they do. I'll comment on the stuff that I've seen! (Which... yeah, I didn't get around to either of the Bottom 2.)

It's the "Gauntlet Crew Ranks More Animated Movies... Compatibilities!"

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1CwhTPRHaV784DxPP30WX8RQLFDtb1HcTIE9HFu2b214/edit#gid=1133839362

With only two movies so far there isn't much to say, but keep an eye on it for later. So far Ermine and Karo are the most compatible pair, while Stifled and scarlet are the least.
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Yay!
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thats pretty cool
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red13n posted...

Sad reminder: Minions made more money than every other movie on this list.

And boy is that sad.
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red13n posted...

Sad reminder: Minions made more money than every other movie on this list.

It is in fact the second-highest grossing animated film of all time, only behind Frozen.

Not only that, but it is the 15th highest grossing film of all time, world wide. For reference, Captain America: Civil War is #16 and Return of the King is #18.
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38. Home:

Inviso: 23
Genny: 25
charon: 26
Ermine: 30
scarlet: 30
Stifled: 30
Snake: 31
red: 33
Johnbobb: 35
Karo: 35
JONA: 40

Total: 338

Inviso: Im not gonna say Home was amazing. Its definitely got some clichs going for it that arent that great, and I dont like how dated it feels with the heavy modern soundtrack (and I GET that Rihanna is Tips VA, and J. Lo is her moms VA, but that doesnt excuse anything.) Alsonot a huge fan of Jim Parsons pretty much being Sheldon in alien form. HOWEVER, this movie has emotional moments, which as much of a sap as I am, I cannot ignore. If a movie can make me tear up, then it likely did SOMETHING right to at least develop the characters in such a way that I respect and appreciate them. Its a cute enough film too. Again, not amazing, but not terrible either.

Genny: I'm just gonna put this out there: the first time I saw Home was with my best friend- a free early screening we got to enjoy with a small crowd before the rest of the world- and she appreciates this kind of humor more than others. This may have miscolored my initial perception of the film because I remember enjoying it immensely more than I did on my second watch through with charon. I still liked it on some level, but ye gods it's distracting when Jim Parsons and Rihanna aren't remotely trying to sound like anything other than Jim Parsons or Rihanna. Sheldon at least has an alien way of forming sentences, but somebody needed to do a pon de replay in their brain if they thought Rihanna could pull off an eleven year old girl without any kind of vocal coaching.

The plot is kind of eh and I saw the "twists" coming from lightyears away, but despite that and the amazing voice acting I did ultimately care about the characters finding their way home. I liked the soundtrack, settings, animation and character designs, and even laughed at some of the humor, like how Oh got his name, and how Boov do not do dancing. Sadly the best joke, Busta Lime, is only used twice. Pimp my Ride and Turn Your Face were the cinematic highlights I feel, but the movie loses points for ending in yet another dance party. At least it was barely relevant here I guess.

charon: Ultimately this film left me feeling underwhelmed as I felt it missed a lot of key chances to better itself. Oh is a weird character that I can't actually say I despised, at least not all of the time. The big problem was the direction they took with him by the end probably should have come about a lot sooner than it did. The script just never commits to not making him seem like a selfish idiot until it's too late, at least not completely. What really held this film back were the voice actors they chose though. Jim Parsons, unfortunately, was just playing Sheldon Cooper but as an alien with a speech impetiment. Rihanna was playing Rihanna, literally. She even said she was from Barbados which was just like... just why, seriously. That bit was very unnecessary. The movie looked nice though. Good use of colors and design.

Ermine: A very very meh movie that I am really not that interested in rewatching. Oh is an incredibly annoying character and honestly I didn't give a damn about anything that was actually happening during the film. I had 0 interest in any of the characters so how am I supposed to feel anything when the characters are in peril or are sad. Characters are a huge thing for me and when basically all of them suck... yeah, your movie ain't gonna do well.
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scarlet: They say home is where the heart is, and in this case, the heart appears to be locked inside the bottom drawer of a YA novelists desk - a novelist who pitched a really, really terrible rendition of War of the Worlds to a midtier publishing house before being sent back a letter so scathing that they hid the rough draft in shame before it was found by the novelists less-talented best friend and passed off, plagiarized, as an original work to C-tier animation studio.
Rating: 34/100

Stifled: Most of the jokes were dumb. The guy from Big Bang Theory doing most of the joke cracking doesnt help that fact for me either. And I admittedly cringed when I learned Rhianna was playing the role of the girl. But you know what? She wasnt bad! She was a hell of a lot better than Taylor Swift in The Lorax, thats for sure. But you know what I really liked? That flying car thing. It was so cool and gave the movie a fun road trip vibe. Without it, I probably wouldnt have enjoyed it much.

Traviss opinion: Cars and cats? Check and check!

Snake: Too many Rihanna songs. We get it, shes the lead voice actress. I didnt hear a bunch of Taylor Swift songs in The Lorax. Feels like a Rihanna commercial at some points. Humor was definitely desperate and didnt illicit a single laugh but it was cute in some areas Ill admit.

red: This movie may have one of the most annoying main character on the entire list. Intentional broken english for no reason, heavy case of idiocy. There is just nothing to like about him and for an apparent race of conquerors the Boov are pathetic beyond belief. Its just hard to care when the entire race deserves to be wiped from all of existence. And this list actually has a few beings that would be better wiped from existence. The movie finally gets over itself and makes you give some bits about the outcome at the end, but it spends way too much time just being dumb.

Johnbobb: Some animated movies I went into expecting to be terrible. Some you can tell just by the name that theyll be terrible. Home is different. Home pretends to be an original idea, with potential family fun. Home could have been a memorable Dreamworks hit, but they didnt try. They didnt try to figure out what the hell their aliens are, constantly inconsistent in their intelligence and understanding of humans, naturally speaking English but not really, resulting in one of the most unbearable fictional species Ive ever seen. The movie gives us a knock-off Sheldon Cooper to capitalize on the popularity of The Big Bang Theory. The movie gives us a character voiced by Rihanna actually listening to songs by Rihanna, a move that is so ridiculous it almost seems like theyre laughing at the very idea that anyone could be immersed in this garbage cash-in. The movie gives us lazy jokes and a predictable plot, and that cant just be excused by chalking it up to it being a kid movie; not when countless others have proved that kid movies can be objectively good.
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Karo: A bunch of well-meaning but mentally deficient aliens called Boov conquer the Earth. Among them is Oh, who is an idiot even by Boov standards, so of course he is the main character. The Boov kick him out and he meets a human girl and they have misadventures together. Try is the writers might, there is no way anyone could feel any sympathy or compassion towards Oh's plight or mistreatment, only for the people who are forced to spend more than 5 seconds in his moronic dipshit presence. The entire first two-thirds of the movie is just Oh being an idiot. There was a potentially touching plot point about the girl looking for her mom, but this was kicked into the backseat constantly so we could get scenes with Oh going like: Hey look I am having the missing conceptions about the earth culture! I will now is using a dildo as the backscratcher! Arent I might the of being just are if the of is funnies? In the end, Oh overcomes his (substantial) limitations and somehow saves the day. Then everyone for some reason lives together in peace, ignoring the fact that the Boov nearly committed genocide against two different sentient races because they had their heads stuck so far up their asses that they got lodged in their throats. It just comes off as a crappy Dreamworks version of Lilo & Stitch, and much like that movie the role of lead protagonist is undeservedly foisted onto a male sidekick character because everyone knows girls have cooties and smell funny.

JONA: Congratulations to Home on the Range for being not the worst animated movie with Home in the title. Oh is incredibly unfunny and cringeworthy. Hes basically the Teen Titans Go version of Starfire but even worse. Who the fuck emphasizes THE in front of words? That shit is annoying. The female character is really generic and Rihannas not a great voice actress. It also really bothers me that Rihanna has a bunch of songs in the soundtrack and I say this as someone who like Rihannas music. Also doesnt help that the characters are shown to be actively listening to some songs and that really bothers me much more than it really should. Did the girl sing the pop songs? Does Rihanna exist in the same world where someone has the exact same voice as her? What makes the movie even worse is that there ends up being some semblance of a good moment that would come out of a childrens story but by that point, my brain just checked out because I could not give a fuck about anything in this movie. Also, fuck you for repeating that Busta Lime joke several times.
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Outlier scores:

Inviso: 37
Stifled: 37
charon: 24
Genny: 18
JONA: 14
Johnbobb: 14
Ermine: 12
Snake: 11
red: 10
scarlet: 8
Karo: 6

Inviso makes his move and ties it up for the top spot. Meanwhile scarlet finally deviates and allows Karo to overtake him near the bottom.
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Home is another movie I had not watched as of yet.
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#37 Hint: This will mark the first film in someone's top 10 to fall.
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