Board 8 > Gauntlet Crew Ranks (more!) Animated Films! - I've got horns for making lists

(+) Yeah! (+)

Damn, this is me for sure. Knew that liking Lorax would be unpopular.
---

Despite my general loathing of Jim Parsons, I actually didn't mind Home that much. Yeah the silly stuff was way too silly and distracting but it wasn't without its strong points, like the relationships between Tip/Oh and Tip/her mom. I mean, it wasn't great, it's definitely in the bottom half of Dreamworks movies, but probably not by much.

And yeah, to expand upon Stifled's comment, my general love of the road comedy genre probably helped my opinion
---

By the way, THIS:

v_charon posted...

I will now is using a dildo as the backscratcher!

might be my new favorite line in a Karo write-up, and it's got some fucking tough competition.
---

JONALEON1 posted...

Johnbobb posted...

I kind of want to say Ice Age here

---

WickIebee posted...

Home is another movie I had not watched as of yet.

dont
---

...huh. I did not see that coming. I figured Home would be inoffensive enough to get a bit higher up.

There are a few good options that could be next, but one or two of my top 10 might be more unpopular than I anticipated.
---

Ermine and scarlet Guess Update

Home

scarlet's prediction: 30
Ermine actual: 30 (0)
Total Difference: 0

Ermine's prediction: 30
scarlet actual: 30 (0)
Total difference: 6

Double spot on, somehow. scarlet maintains perfection.
---

StifledSilence posted...

...huh. I did not see that coming. I figured Home would be inoffensive enough to get a bit higher up.

I thought so too, but I'm not going to complain.
---

red13n posted...

Ermine and scarlet Guess Update

Home

scarlet's prediction: 30
Ermine actual: 30 (0)
Total Difference: 0

Ermine's prediction: 30
scarlet actual: 30 (0)
Total difference: 6

Double spot on, somehow. scarlet maintains perfection.

I was supposed to gain on scarlet here :((((
---

37. Rio 2

Ermine: 8
red: 24
Johnbobb: 28
Inviso: 29
JONA: 32
Snake: 32
Genny: 35
Karo: 36
scarlet: 36
Stifled: 37
charon: 39

Total: 336

Ermine: While not as good as the first, the movie has so much Blu in it, that I can't not enjoy the film. Blu is such an adorable and excellent character and I honestly wouldn't care if they made hundreds of sequels, each one getting worse than the next just so that I could get more of him. Also, his little son, Tiago is suuuuper adorable as well. I give props to the animation team in this film and also the first. The films are very pretty to look at and their characters all have a ton of personality just from their designs. Maybe too much so in Nigel's case...

Probably the biggest fault of the film is Nigel's inclusion in it and his whole side plot of getting revenge on Blue. The film would have been a ton better without his presence and definitely without the frog's presence. God she was annoying. The only purpose for those two were to give them musical numbers that sucked. I felt bad for the poor Anteater that had to put up with those two. He's the real hero.

I also felt Jewel was a lot worse of a character in this film. It is so clear that Blu is doing his best to fit in and do whatever it takes to make his family, and her, happy. The fact that she has the audacity to say he's only thinking about himself was incredibly uncalled for when the last 30 minutes of the film were Blu doing everything for his family while out of his comfort zone.

I think if Blu wasn't such a fantastic character that these films would suffer incredibly, but since that's not the case, I enjoy them quite a bit! And while Rio 2 doesn't really live up to the original, I still enjoyed it a pretty good amount.

red: There are a lot of animated sequels that shouldn't exist, and if you want to talk about animated sequels that really shouldn't exist, Rio 2 pretty much hits the mark. You know what was the core of the original Rio storyline? Blu and Jewel were the last two blue macaws. Well, lets just throw that out the window because we need a sequel and couldn't come up with a legitimate ideas despite already having a family of blue macaws to work with. Beause nope, there was actually a whole flock of blue macaws all along. The returning main characters can be enjoyable and keep this from being complete trash, but the plot and some of the side characters(and side plots) never make this feel like more than a forced sequel.

Johnbobb: What is it with films on this list attempting to be musicals without bothering to put real effort into the songs? Rio 2 is acceptable enough, but at the same time, it manages to feel dated despite only being three years old, with lazy jokes about GPS, fannypacks, etc. The human villain is so generically evil that he feels like a second thought, while the bird villain is forgettable, but is at least given a decent performance compared to the rest of the cast.

Inviso: I wasnt a HUGE fan of the original Rio, and this sequel didnt do a whole lot to inspire me. It felt like the same kind of pop music style trying to appeal solely to the here and the now. That being said, there wasnt anything about the film that I found OFFENSIVELY bad. I disliked how Blu kinda got crapped on by everyone for almost the entire movie to the point where it was just depressing (seriously, even his WIFE was treating him like shit at one point), BUT that didnt make the movie outright terrible for me. Ultimately, a movie has to cross a certain threshold of bad for me to be like no, I dont want to ever see that again, and Rio 2 didnt cross that threshold. Its objectively not better than some of the films I ranked lower, BUT I also wouldnt want to watch those films a second time.
---

JONA: I would not even make perros watch this movie. Si si si si si.

Snake: Well I enjoyed the first one, and birds are still awesome of course, I really hated the story of Rio 2. The poacher characters were so pointless too and the character interactions were not very fun.

Genny: I'm sorry in advance Ermine. If it's any consolation Blu is the best character in this movie, or close to it second only to Nigel depending on my mood. The problem with this sequel is literally every other character is a worthless addition to the franchise (kids, Gabby, freaking Pop Pop, Birdo Mars, countless others) or takes a huge step back in character development so much so that it actually deprecates their value (hello Jewel). Geeeeez I thought I would like this movie so much more than I actually did, but pretty much the only good thing to come out of this movie were Bob the Bird's audition (which was a pointless time waster sadly) and the song by the Barbatuas, which could've been in another movie because it only plays when Blu is being shat on by the other blue macaws.

Criminey! I don't even like Blu (sorry again Ermine) and even I got fed up with him being neglected by Jewel, upstaged by Roberto, criticized by his father in law, and forgotten by his own kids. Seriously screw any sequel that can't actually ENHANCE an existing movie. It's not Cars 2 or Shrek-between-2-and-4ever-After tier awful, but on this list there's so much better and few that much worse. As a side note how are the human characters even more of an afterthought this time around than they were in the first Rio? I don't understand! Blu's owner/companion is so competent and likeable and yet is cast in the shadows unless she's made to do something stupid like get caught.

Karo: The further adventures of the last two blue macaws on earth and their new kids. Though they are not the last anymore, because now a flock of these birds have been just randomly discovered in the jungle, hahaha! Hey, I'm glad we made the first movie completely fucking pointless! So Blu and his family journey there and they find Jewel's long lost dad, who doesn't like Blu because he thinks Blu is a moron (he is right).

After a bunch of obnoxious music, a bird soccer match, a heavy-handed anti-logging message, and the worst talent show ever, they all patch things up and live together in bird paradise and the logger boss gets eaten by a snake.

Nigel, the previous movie's villain, is reduced to an ineffectual joke here as he fails repeatedly at killing Blu to an extent that makes Team Rocket look competent. He could be removed from the movie entirely with no effect whatsoever on the plot. His cute new poison frog sidekick was completely wasted on such a worthless antagonist. It is a movie with every negative thing about the original still alive and kicking, and with every positive thing completely vaporized. I dont expect much out of animated sequels, but how could you fuck up something this badly?
---

scarlet: A list of movies more in need of sequels than Rio:
Titanic
2012
Hamlet
Braveheart
Gladiator
The Departed
The Shawshank Redemption
National Lampoons Animal House
Happy Gilmore
Ratatouille
Citizen Kane
Million Dollar Baby
Natural Born Killers
Groundhog Day
Memento
Theres Something About Mary
How Stella Got Her Groove Back
A League of Their Own
Forrest Gump
E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial
Evita
Soylent Green
Mary Poppins
Rating: 20/100

Stifled: Linda looks hot in those safari shorts at the beginning. But you know what isnt hot? Having a TON of uninteresting stuff going on all at the same time, while simultaneously doing everything possible to shit on the main character and make him feel useless. This movie actively made me angry.

Traviss opinion: The music made him dance and he liked the bright colors. He was much more interested in this than I was.

charon: One of the biggest bastardizations of an original film I can imagine. Everything enjoyable about the original is taken out behind a barn and the biggest Brazilian butthole drops a steaming pile on it. Jewel is unbearable in this film. Selfish, entitled, bossy, mean and just downright without any redeeming qualities whatsoever. Roberto is one of those annoying douches that doesn't care if a girl is taken, he's just THE MAN and he's here to make you look bad in comparison to himself. You know, until he's a chicken-shit useless idiot when it involves something other than singing or being a tool. Eduardo is an overbearing asshat and it's easy to see where Jewel gets that part of her personality from. Too bad her mom is dead, maybe there would have been a good character in this film. I feel so bad for Blu, because I really like him. He's a swell guy and tries his best, sadly he's whipped so badly he's well, blue. This film has the worst plot execution of any of these movies in my opinion and the worst characterization, but saves itself from dead last by being astonishingly beautifully animated and having some decent musical numbers. If only there were a movie underneath I wanted to look or listen to.
---

Outlier scores:

Inviso: 45
Ermine: 41
Stifled: 37
charon: 26
Johnbobb: 23
red: 23
Genny: 20
JONA: 19
Snake: 15
scarlet: 9
Karo: 7

Ermine makes a big leap towards the top but Inviso does enough to hold on to the lead for now. Stifled lands a 0 on this one and remains stationary to fall to third. Karo and scarlet remain in single digits.
---

Ermine and scarlet Guess Update

Rio 2

scarlet's prediction: 9
Ermine actual: 8 (1)
Total Difference: 1

Ermine's prediction: 31
scarlet actual: 36 (5)
Total difference: 11

scarlet's perfection is broken...but not by much. Now a double digit lead on poor Ermine.
---

#36 Hint: This is the lowest rank film to have two people rank it in the top half. It also was ranked in the bottom 2 films by 3 different people
---

Time for more Karo predix.

Home
Karo's Predix: 25
Ermine's Actual: 30 (5)

Rio 2
Karo's Predix: 4
Ermine's Actual: 8 (4)

Total deviance so far: 12
---

Anyway, yeah. I mean to be honest I had Rio 2 a bit higher at first, maybe 3 slots, but did a last minute adjustment before I finalized the lists because I realized just how bad my writeup for it was. It's so bad. I mean other than like Mortal Kombat Annihilation I'm not sure any sequel shits on the original as bad as this one does.

If I liked Blu a ton, maybe I wouldn't have been so hard on this one. Blu is a pretty good character, and I do like him, but the way he's treated in this film is sickening especially since Jewel and company get NO comeuppance at all.
---

v_charon posted...

#36 Hint: This is the lowest rank film to have two people rank it in the top half. It also was ranked in the bottom 2 films by 3 different people

The Nut Job.

Seeing that Rio 2 is so bad makes me sad, because I really did like the first one. :(
---

Rio 2/Lorax double death feature plz and thank you.
---

v_charon posted...

JONA: I would not even make perros watch this movie. Si si si si si.

Best write-up ever.
---

My 39 should NOT still be in this ranking, as bad as Minions, Home and Rio 2 may be considered.
---

It's actually incredibly insulting my #40 AND #39 are still alive. But this happens every ranking project so lul
---

Underleveled posted...

Seeing that Rio 2 is so bad makes me sad, because I really did like the first one. :(

Unless you're a masochist, I see no reason to ruin your even somewhat fond memories of Rio here. I was shocked and appalled honestly.
---

it is insulting to the art of cinema that my #40 is still in
---

Espeon posted...

My 39 should NOT still be in this ranking, as bad as Minions, Home and Rio 2 may be considered.

Shoulda made it 40 instead of 39.
---

Espeon posted...

My 39 should NOT still be in this ranking, as bad as Minions, Home and Rio 2 may be considered.

Zigzagoon posted...

It's actually incredibly insulting my #40 AND #39 are still alive. But this happens every ranking project so lul

PrinceKaro posted...

it is insulting to the art of cinema that my #40 is still in

I wonder if any of these will be rectified or not with the next posting!
---

v_charon posted...

Espeon posted...

My 39 should NOT still be in this ranking, as bad as Minions, Home and Rio 2 may be considered.

Zigzagoon posted...

It's actually incredibly insulting my #40 AND #39 are still alive. But this happens every ranking project so lul

PrinceKaro posted...

it is insulting to the art of cinema that my #40 is still in

I wonder if any of these will be rectified or not with the next posting!

There's no rectification. It's far too late for that already.
---

v_charon posted...

I wonder if any of these will be rectified or not with the next posting!

charon confirming that it's none of those
---

Hopefully it'll be MY #40.
---

Snake5555555555 posted...

Hopefully it'll be MY #40.

Snake youve barely lost anything at all yet, you dont get to hope for your 40 X_X
---

I hope its my 40 but it isn't...

Guessing the next one must be Ice Age because I really can't imagine two people putting my #40 in the top half
---

I cant imagine anyone putting Sausage Party not 40th, yet here we are johnbobb
---

36. Ice Age: The Meltdown:

Karo: 16
Ermine: 18
red: 22
Snake: 24
scarlet: 29
Inviso: 34
Genny: 36
Stifled: 36
Johnbobb: 39
JONA: 39
charon: 40

Total: 333

Karo: As the title suggests, the Ice Age is coming to an end, and despite it just beginning in the first movie, the entire cast is somehow still alive. Happy 100,000th birthday, Manny!

So everyone is now in an ice bowl surrounded by an ocean and they have to get out of it before the ice melts and they all die. No explanation whatsoever is given of why this is a thing, you just have to roll with it. Along they way they meet several new characters; a girl mammoth who thinks she is a possum (she is great), and her two brain-dead possum 'brothers' (they are not).

It is pretty much the same kind of thing as the first movie, the characters are on a journey, they annoy each other a little, and they crack some jokes. Much as the with the original, the strength of the cast carries the movie where the story falters, and it is always entertaining to see them yank each others chains.

Ermine: Man, Scrat really loves that acorn...

In fact he loves it so much that the acorn actually has a character profile on the Ice Age wiki. The Acorn's current status is "Sucked into a Black Hole" and the only friends it has are listed as Scrat. For some reason I find this incredibly hilarious.

This movie's humor is very similar to the original in that some jokes work and some really don't which I'm alright with for the most part. It got me laughing a few times so good for it. In terms of story and plot, it definitely isn't as solid as the first and it was very hard at all to care about Manny and Ellie's relationship. The movie never really gives you are reason to care about them at all so the final act is all kinda just whatever.

I'd say Sid is even more annoying in this movie, but I actually don't think that's the case. I think Sid was the same amount of annoying, but the problem is that it wasn't balanced out with Sid actually being not annoying like it was in the first movie, if that makes any sense. Diego's whole arc seems so completely shoehorned in because the writers couldn't really figure out what they wanted to do with him now that he wasn't a villain. The two Possums are whatever, I cannot legally hate them because I love possums so they just get the pass I suppose!

Ermine Side Note: All the other mammoths showing up at the end has to be one of the stupidest things I've ever seen. Why did they all just show up immediately after the water drained through? What was the point? Manny and Ellie already wanted to stay with each other. The whole thing just felt incredibly stupid and awful.

Overall it wasn't that bad even though I do think it has a ton of problems. For the most part I still enjoyed myself but really wish this sequel didn't go the way it did. It makes it so painfully obvious that the next Ice Age movies are going to continue this downward trend.

red: These characters work a lot better for me when one of the pack isn't trying to murder the rest. This movie does suffer a bit from a lot of nonsensical side sequences away from the cast. The scenes with Scrat never serve much puprose and Sid has an entire scene of nearly being thrown into a volcano that serves absolutely zero purpose in the movie. None. And its not like its a short scene. Its a full sequence of near death by cult experience that does nothing for character or plot development. Someone just thought it'd be funny to make Sid a god and have his followers try to sacrifice him. Its just a time waster for a movie that probably could have been at least 30 minutes shorter.
---

Snake: One of those movies that was way more enjoyable when you were a kid. Still, before Ice Age got bogged down with even more sequels, theres still some enjoyment in the character dynamics and even some of the humor is alright. The Skrat sequences are some of the most enjoyable aspects of the movie.

scarlet: If by Meltdown, they are referring to the complete breakdown in scriptwriting competency on display here, then this is one of the truest titles in film history.
Rating: 35/100

Inviso: Yeah, the original Ice Age had some flaws, like how Sid is not an enjoyable character. But it at least felt committed to the storyline it was trying to tell. This movie felt like they took the characters that were successful in the first movie and half-assed a script to make a sequel. The MAIN storyline of Manny finding Ellie works fine for me. Given how Mannys character in the first film was a grieving husband and father, giving him a love interest was nice. It was heartfelt. Do I wish that Ellie hadnt been portrayed as an emotionally-stunted child? Yes. Definitely. Fucking yes. That shit felt creepy to have Ray Romano flirting with a character that, for all intents and purposes, behaved like a child. But still, that plot was fine.

Its everything ELSE that felt tacked on because they didnt have enough content to fill a full 90 minutes. Sid gets no respect from anyone, so theres an underlying plot of him trying to get respect, with a pointless scene of him as Fire King that goes absolutely NOWHERE and serves zero purpose other than to fill time. You have Diego being unable to swim and afraid of water, whichfine. If youre gonna have an overarching plot about the world flooding, then FINE. But worst of all was the CONSTANT stoppage or the plot to give us scenes of Scrap, who is the most annoying part of this franchise. I dont give a shit about how this idiot cant likefuck an acorn or whatever fucking purpose the acorns serve. Sadly, its STILL better than a bunch of the films Ive already watched, because I DO enjoy the personalities outside of Sid.

Genny: I used to think Ice Age 2 was the best of the sequels, mostly because I remember Dawn of the Dinosaurs being terrible and Continental Drift going on for too long. Now I'm thinking I was blinded by rose colored goggles because this was a mess. A hot mess. Where to begin? Let's start with the fact that the actual plot, what little there is of it anyway because it basically boils down to "dey gotta get from point A to point B before X, Y, or Z eats and/or drowns dem", is interrupted no less than every 10 minutes for the most pointless diversion in the form of an annoying creature that'll never get to bust his nut but keeps trying anyway.

I was so sick of seeing him by the end that him finally becoming plot relevant brought me no joy or relief. I got one cheap yutz in at the golden acorn gate shutting on him though so job done. Not WELL done mind you. Ellie is such a putz and her brothers Pip and Pop or Crash and Burn or whatever the fuck are supremely obnoxious. Yes I understand they are self aware and are intentionally TRYING to be annoying, however this does not make their antics hilarious or fun to watch. Thankfully unlike other sequels on this list, this installment does not diminish any pre-existing characters. Diego and Manny are still loveable arse holes and Sid is... well he's still Sid. I'm totally glad that pointless sidequest with the mini sloths wasn't pointless.
---

In short no established characters were harmed in the making of this movie, but man the new cast members were un-good, as was the plot, the score, and even the animation seemed kinda cheap by Blue Sky's standards. I mean some of the ice and water effects were laughable! I did enjoy Food, Glorious Food and a few other things but all in all this just paled in comparison to the original movie. I will never willingly watch Collision Course. Kill this franchise already.

Stifled: It was abundantly clear about 10 minutes in that I was not the target demographic of this movie. And dont get me wrong. I LOVE cartoons. I watch them daily, and not just Traviss favorites. But good lord. This movie (and the whole series for that matter) is a big wad of slapstick and deflated jokes/puns. I dont like any of the characters. In fact, I feel like I am watching a movie with commercials for nuts tossed in while the squirrel thing chases them. But in the case of this show, I preferred the commercials.

Traviss opinion: He really liked the squirrel scenes. But thats about it.

Johnbobb: Dont that put the stink in extinction. Dumb movie. Dumb, annoying characters. Dumb jokes. Just so dumb.

JONA: The Meltdown Throw in 3 character problems that could be solved in 10 minute episodes of a cartoon, a short involving the squirrel and stretch that out to an hour and a half. While it does nothing outright terrible, it brings absolutely nothing to the table.

charon: Combine one part poorly executed sequel with one part awful cut-away subplot and you'll have this festering pile of prehistoric dung. The main plot of the movie itself isn't very compelling, with characters less interesting than the mediocre film that spawned this franchise. Sid is a grating personality to be sure, Diego has been seemingly neutered of anything that made him a worthwhile character with a reduced role in this one and Manny is just... hard to connect with. There are moments when you think it might happen but then the scene cuts away to the most annoying bit in any movie I can think of. Scrat is without a doubt what ruins this film and ensured it would take last place for me. This constant Looney Tunes-lite adventure we have to constantly see him on is truly vomit inducing. It befouls the rest of the film with its taint; this bit continues on to a state that can only be described as ad nauseam. I'm not sure exactly who this was made for, my guess is for kindergartens, but it didn't do them any favors with me. It's poor direction and writing to have included this, let alone THIS much of it. An opening sequence would have been one thing but to watch this moron for I know a third of the run time "humorously" fail to get the acorn is an unforgivable cinematic sin.
---

Outlier scores:

Ermine: 59
Inviso: 47
red: 37
Stifled: 37
charon: 30
Snake: 28
Karo: 27
Johnbobb: 26
JONA: 22
Genny: 20
scarlet: 16

Karo leaps up big here to land in the middle of the field. Ermine now stands alone at the top as Stifled continues to play it straight and descend the rankings.
---

I didnt think Id take over Outlier that quickly. Jeez fucking louise...
---

#35 Hint: This movie has the same exact factoid as the previous, except it is the second such film to fall that has two top 20 rankings combined with 3 bottom 2 rankings.
---

v_charon posted...

Stifled's writeups include the opinion of his young son, all of them! (Yes even those)

*thumbs up*

I wouldn't be able to pull that off with my daughter. If Strawberry Shortcake isn't on the screen, she could care less :P
---

But did they get the son's opinion on sausage party?
---

Oh hey, back to one I actually did watch already. I think there's a point where we all realize we don't like the cast and we're done with everything that has to do with Ice Age. Either we find minor things we like... or we sit there and whine throughout the movie. Yeah... uh. It's bad.

Is it bottom 10 bad? Not really. There's far worse.
---

So I've made a little mistake here. There's a film that should have finished with 362 points, it was the 327 film (one of them). I will be posting that tonight and adjusting the rankings/outlier accordingly. This means Minions was 38, Home was 37, Rio 2 was 36 and Ice Age: The Meltdown was 35.

Once I recheck every other film to make sure I didn't screw up anywhere else, I'll get to that.
---

sweet maybe my #40 will drop
---

I saw Ice Age 2 on a plane and enjoyed it enough.
---

Possibly still some redemption...

Though even if it's my #40, my #39 is still in and I cannot really understand anyone enjoying that one either X_X
---

39. The Nut Job

Stifled: 13
Ermine: 26
Inviso: 30
Karo: 33
charon: 35
JONA: 35
red: 37
Snake: 37
Genny: 38
scarlet: 38
Johnbobb: 40

Stifled: So it looks like this one got some really bad scores. Im gonna have to go ahead and disagree. A bunch of fuzzy critters getting mixed up in the mafia robbing a bank while trying to rob said mafia of their front stores nut supply is a hilarious idea. It was a fun, well paced crime comedy that kept me entertained throughout. While Will Arnett is better suited as a bat than a squirrel (lololol see what I did there?!), he still does a good job here. Liam Neeson as a raccoon makes me chuckle. And the rest of the cast was pretty solid as well. The only thing that was dumb and out of place was the forced PSY segment in the credits. But honestly, the credits are a harmless place to throw things like that, so its a moot point.

Traviss opinion: He loved all the fuzzy critters and watched this one pretty closely. He also danced during Gangnam Style. It was pretty cute.

Ermine: I'm going to be completely transparent here. The only reason why this movie isn't in my bottom 5 is because of Buddy the Rat. I am a sucker for adorable characters that don't suck and the fact that he's by far the best character in this movie makes this feeling even more apparent.

Apart from an overhaul of pretty awful jokes, the only thing that really holds this movie back is its terrible main character, Surly. There's actually some hints of what could have been a pretty decent film and it's a crying shame that Surly kind of destroys all of that with his completely unlikable personality. There's absolutely zero times during the course of the film where you want to root for this asshole and I can only wonder what Buddy sees in the guy, especially when Surly treats him like shit. Like, those scenes where Buddy lays his head down beside Surly are incredibly adorable and both times I was like "awwww, he's freaking adorable". But then I remember the character he's trying to cheer up doesn't deserve a lick of his respect and it kind of ruins it unfortunately. If this movie had even a remotely more likeable main character, I think that would have solved several of its problems.

I mean, it still has issues besides that, don't get me wrong... you can't ignore thousands of shitty nut jokes or several awful comic relief characters that do nothing but bring the film down. But putting those things aside I don't think the movie is as bad as people say, or at least, I think just changing a few things could have definitely benefited the film.

Inviso: Falling in my not great, but rewatchable I suppose category is yet another more modern film that really tries to capitalize on the zeitgeist of modern culture. I swear, that end credit sequence with CGI PSY dancing and singing Gangnam Style single-handedly bumped this filmwell probably only one slot lower at most, but still. Its just a goofy heist movie, but with animals and a nut shop. Because apparently nut shops are a thing. The characters motivations dont really make a ton of sense and seem to switch wildly at random, but its still fun ENOUGH I guess. I wish I cared about literally anyone in the cast, but I dont really care. Oh well.

Karo: In possibly the most sexually suggestive kids movie title ever, an outcast squirrel helps a group of animals plan a nut heist. Going on in parallel with the animals' plan is a human bank heist featuring the most generic robber goons ever, which serves only to fill up the film's runtime. I'll take redundant plot points for 1000, Alex. Everything comes off as nothing but a blatant mimicry of Dreamworks' animated movie formula, which wasn't very fucking good to start with. That is like doing an impersonation of George Lazenby's Bond.
---

Though it is true that none of the characters are markedly offensive, a rarity for off-brand CGI films, it is not really worth watching, and it sure as fuck didn't deserve a sequel. Pass unless you are an avid connoisseur of bad nut-related humor, substandard CGI, or Kim Jong-Il singing Oppai Gundam Style.

charon: Fronted by an unlikable lead character who violates the norm by never even bothering to redeem himself, this movie has little going for it outside of the crisp animation. Seriously, this movie's CGI is high grade. It's too bad it was used on mostly high grade bullshit. Surly manages to outdouche every other douche in this movie, and there's very little here to redeem it. The plot is at least coherent and there aren't a ton of foolish characters here for pointless comedy bits, so I'll give it points for that. The cast that isn't unlikable isn't really quality either. Buddy is just too simple for me to get behind and the rest of the park's inhabitants are just as douchey as they accuse King Douche of being, well almost I guess. It's still pretty obvious who the culprit here was yet for some reason everyone is too stupid to believe it, even the character that seemingly had the most wits about her.

JONA: Its the Nut Job! (Yee, yee)
Its the Nut Job! (What he say?)
Its the Nut Job! (Oh yes! Yeeah)
Its the Nut Job! (Hey, I watched that shit!)
Its the Nut Job! (Dont forget ya boy JONA!)
Its the Nut Job! (Its the Nut Job!)
Its the Nut Job! (Its the Nut Job!)
Its the Nut Job! (Its the Nut Job)
Its the Nut Job! (Hey!)
Its the Nut Job! (This films lackin!)
Its the Nut Job! (Wow!)
Its the Nut Job!
Yeah, I dont feel like doing the verse. Thats more effort than this movie deserves.

red: This is a mess of a movie. The main character is a jerk and everyone else has character consistency problems. Everyone apparently thinks higher of the other squirrel is apparently a a coward? Or hes an idiot? Or he got hit in the head? Its never really made clear and these consistency problems are all over the movie. The animals never seem to have a concrete plan for what they are doing, the plot around them just kind of jumping around. Its a sad day when I am more interested in the background story happening with the humans heist to anything going on with the animals. Just a really poorly conceived movie lacking polish.

Snake: Whoa what a colossal mess of a film! Its an ADHD manic plot with no focus and no character development. Fart jokes and wacky action do not a funny movie make.
---

Genny: The Nut Job stands as a testament that not every movie featuring a little furry underdog from the order rodentia is a masterpiece, or even good. At no point in this movie is Surly anything other than an asshole. How anyone could root for him is beyond me when he's a selfish jerk of a friend and love interest. If not for that raccoon and his angry bird ripoff henchman I would swear Surly was the villain. And the fucking ending with cartoon Psy I fucking swear. Fuck right off with that shit. If you enjoy this movie on anything other than an ironic level YOU'RE the nut job.

scarlet: A kids movie with about as much charm as Katherine Heigl and about as much substance as Brendan Fraser. It sits in a tier right above Minions and The Emoji Movie. Think of it as the gateway to hell. Imagine that, on its poster, instead of saying the trite and contrived line of No Nuts. No Glory., it reads, Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. The greatest trick the Devil ever played was convincing the world that The Nut Job was worthy of a sequel. Truly I tell you, it is better to put out your eye than watch The Nut Job. For if your eye makes you sin to such an extent, it is better to be blinded on Earth and earn haven in Heaven than to see something so corrupt that it landeth you in Hell.
Rating: 17/100

Johnbobb: Oh so this is from the end of that awkward period after Arrested Development and before BoJack Horseman where everything Will Arnett put out was hot garbage. Why do the squirrels all have names but the mole and raccoon are just named Mole and Raccoon? Are they the only mole and raccoon in the city? If the animals are all sentient why are the birds just birds? Why did anyone ever sign on to do this 90 minute sad excuse for a Nick Jr. pilot?
---

Outlier scores:

Ermine: 68
Stifled: 63
Inviso: 52
red: 35
charon: 34
Karo: 29
Snake: 28
JONA: 26
Johnbobb: 25
Genny: 19
scarlet: 15

With this revised entry, we have a clear top 3 for outlier now (who all ranked this movie higher than everyone else!)
---