Season Five Episode Eleven: Gunslinger Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank
Plot Synopsis: When Marshal Hood of Oracle, Texas, is killed by a hired gunman, his quick-shooting widow, Rose (Garland), straps on his gun and star, puts on some pants, and aims to find out who did the hiring. She has her suspicions about the local saloon owner-slash-madam Erica Page, but doesn't have any proof. Still, Erica becomes worried about Rose interfering with her railroad real estate scheme, and sends for a hired gunman to take care of her.
The gunman, Cane Miro, hits it off with Rose soon after arriving in town, and begins trying to stretch the terms of his contract to avoid killing her. However, he has an old Civil War grudge against the town's mayor, and Rose finds her hands full trying to keep the man alive and Cain out of trouble. Can Rose stop Erica's plan? Will Rose redeem Cane before it's too late?
Host Segments:
Prologue: Gypsy, Joel, and Crow play "Kaboom" with Tom’s head, which has been replaced with a balloon hooked up to a pump. They eventually pump up his head to the point it will explode.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Servo's massively swollen head now holds all of the knowledge of man. Dr. Forrester presents The Scanner Planner, which he proceeds to try out on Frank. JatBs have new wiffle products like the wiffle cup and wiffle cheese (though that ends up being swiss cheese) Dr. Forrester's scanning causes Tom's balloon head to explode.
Segment Two: JatBs are resting in caskets to see what it’s like to be dead. Even though they're never going to die, the Bots discuss what kind of funeral they’d like to have. Tom wants his friends to toss him up and down in a blanket at his funeral. Crow wants a beach funeral.
Segment Three: Tom sends Joel a message about what he wants for lunch using Gypsy Express, with Crow as the rider and Gypsy as the pony, despite the fact that Tom and Joel are standing a mere 3 feet apart.
Segment Four: Tom demonstrates quantum linear super-position so that Joel and Crow will understand how John Ireland is able to go into the attorney’s office and immediately end up on his horse on the street. He also warps time and space at will.
Ending Segment: Since Roger Corman made the 1870’s seems so dismal, Joel and the bots discuss how dreadful the 1970’s were. The Bots have deep fried the letters, but Joel is able to read one anyway. Back in Deep 13, Dr. F finally succeeds in working his scanning skill on Frank.
Stinger: Saloon dancing girl, after the ambush: What about our clothes?
Review:
What a completely implausible movie. I can accept the plot of a lot of the films viewed on MST3K, but a female Marshall in the 1870's? No way. At least when they made a western about a black sheriff, it was a comedy. I know it seems absurd that of all the movies, THIS is where I draw the line, but the concept that a WOMAN would be able to put on a pair a pants and become an officer of the law in the WEST is... VERY HIGHLY unlikely. Of course, this being a Roger Corman flick, I knew it was going to be bad regardless.
The question is: How was the riffing? Eh. There were some good riffs here and there, a few laugh out loud moments, but overall I just didn't find this as funny. Maybe it's because Westerns are tougher to riff on (there has to be a reason it took five seasons to do one) or maybe it was the material? I dunno. I just didn't find this to be a great episode. I'm sure with multiple viewings I'd probably enjoy it more, but as it stands, this is just a merely average episode. 5.5/10
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http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/61035294 - My MST3K Watchthrough topic.
Trivia: Dr. Forrester's "psychic" power sound effect is exactly the same as Brain Guy's sound effect to send the movies in later seasons.
Favorite Riffs:
*While reading the credits*
Crow: So, Corman did Swamp Diamonds on Monday, and this one on Wednesday?
Servo: Yep.
*Deputy Joshua and the now Marshall Rose stand around chatting about the fact that there's a female Marshall.*
Joshua: I don't think many people will find it proper for a new widow to be walking in pants, even if they are black.
Rose: Ever seen a peace officer in a corset?
Crow (as Joshua): Yeah, your husband.
*During the bar brawl between Rose and Erica Page, a saloon owner*
Servo: Say what you will Joel, but Roger Corman pushes my buttons.
*Cane and Rose talk about something or another.*
Crow: Not exactly a Howard Hawks film, is it?
*The Mayor pays Erica some money, apparently a bribe*
Servo: Back then money was a lot of money.
*Rose and Cane are out in the wilderness, and a romantic bit is being set up*
Cane: I'll make you a deal. I won't try to make you a bad woman if you don't try to make em a good man.
Servo: That's a country song, isn't it?
Rose: You're not bad.
Crow (as Rose): You're just drawn that way.
*Cane is in his room, when Erica knocks on the door. Cane opens it up, but something is very amiss about this*
Crow: Doors don't open like that. There's a num- he's in the hall!
Cane: You're crazy coming up here.
Joel (as Cane): In my hall.
*After Erica leaves Cane's hall and talks to Rose, Rose goes up to see him*
Crow (as Rose): Why is all your stuff in the hallway?
*Cane and Rose talk, while Cane feeds her character development about a Confederate Captain that had given the orders for his family to be killed*
Cane: He lost us the war.
Rose: Don't be ridiculous
Cane: To me he did! He killed my four brothers
Crow: And my forefathers.
*After Rose gets done talking to Cane, she rides off, and somehow runs right into a band of female thugs (that were standing out in the open and could have been easily seen)*
Joel: What is the crew doing in this shot?
Crow: In this movie, you can pick any object and hide behind it.
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Season Five Episode Twelve: Mitchell Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank
Plot Synopsis: A trade union lawyer named Walter Deaney murders a burglar in his house in cold blood. Only an unorthodox plain-clothes detective named Mitchell believes that Deaney is guilty, but Chief Albert Pallin tells him that Deaney is wanted for "every federal law violation in the book" and is therefore "FBI property".
To keep Mitchell away from Deaney, Pallin orders him to stake out the home of James Arthur Cummings, a wealthy man with ties to the mob whose "big scene" is the import and export of stolen merchandise. Although initially Mitchell is unconcerned with Cummings and focuses primarily on Deaney, he gets drawn in after Cummings discovers that Salvatore Mistretta, cousin of his mafioso benefactor Tony Gallano, is bringing in a shipment of stolen heroin from Mexico without Cummings' consent.
After unsuccessfully trying to buy Mitchell off with an offer of an illicit real estate deal and a prostitute named Greta, Deaney decides to work with Cummings to eliminate him. Deaney is killed shortly thereafter during an attempt on Mitchell's life.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Joel has painstakingly fashioned a replica of Monticello out of toothpicks. The Bots want to destroy it, though when Joel says that he wants them to destroy it, they lose interest...momentarily
Segment One/Invention Exchange: In Deep 13, the Mads are being audited by the Fraternal Order of Mad Science, so they’ve hired a temp by the name of Mike to help them get organized. Joel quickly shows his Daktari stool.
Segment Two: In Deep 13, the Mads are being audited by the Fraternal Order of Mad Science, so they’ve hired a temp by the name of Mike to help them get organized. Joel quickly shows his Daktari stool.
Segment Three: Gypsy tries to think of a way to get Joel off the SOL; The bots are on pogo sticks and singing old TV theme songs, and aren't helping at all.
Segment Four: Gypsy turns to Mike in Deep 13 for help. Mike learns of a hidden escape pod (in a crate marked "Hamdingers"), and tricks Frank out of his keys so that Gypsy can gain control.
Ending Segment: Joel's letter reading is interrupted when he is ejected into the escape pod. On hexscreen, he reveals he left a plaque behind as a final word. Though they aren't impressed when it turns out to be a quote from The Seven Faces of Dr. Lao. The bots panic. Joel is safely deposited on Earth, somewhere in Australia. Dr. Forrester has taken a shower and is feeling very good... until Frank tells him Joel escaped. Dr. Forrester is furious and informs Frank that his towel and Frank's hinder have an appointment until Mike presents his time card. The segment ends with Dr. Forrester inquiring of Mike of what size jumpsuit the young man wears.
Stinger: You’re lying through your teeth!" "Buzz off, huh?!" "Buzz off!" "BUZZ OFF, KID!!!"
Review:
What do you do when you take Dirty Harry, suck out all the charm, awesomeness, and Clint Eastwood? Mitchell! This isn't the kind of movie you want to associate with cops, that's for sure. It was a good pick for the final Joel era episode, though!
Joel left on the high note, because this episode was fantastic. The riffing was hilarious, the host segments were great (I loved how blissfully unaware JatBs were to Gypsy's plight.) Overall, this is definitely one of the best episodes of the series. My favorite riffs section really doesn't convey how good the episode is, so I recommend you watch it yourself. 10/10
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*While reading the opening credits.. or trying to*
Servo: Mittens? The movie's called Mittens?
Crow: Joe Don Baker is Mittens. He's a cop.
*We get an exterior shot of a house*
Crow: Eegah...
Joel: Watch out for snakes!
*Same shot*
Servo: We've hidden Mitchell somewhere in this picture.
Crow: Mitchell, will you stand up please?
*gunshot sound*
*After a burglar is shot in Deaney's house, we cut to a cop car, where two patrol guys are listening to the crime coming along the scanner. Mitchell... is sleeping in the back seat*
Joel: Our hero, ladies and gentlemen!
*Mitchell goes back to the police station to talk to Da Chief about the crime scene. Da Chief decides to throw plot exposition around*
Chief: Mitchell. People don't like you. In fact, I don't care much for you, myself. Why is that?
Crow (as Mitchell): Perhaps it's our brief but bitter affair?
. *Mitchell decides to break into Deaney's place. For some reason, Deaney decided to replace the broken glass the 1st burglar broke with.. aluminum foil. Mitchell's fist goes right through it*
Servo: Liquid Metal.
Joel: Reynold's Wrap: Keeps freshness in, leaves Mitchell out.
*Mithell is caught by Deaney, and escapes. This is to the background theme going*
Joel: Mitchell. Mitchell..
Servo: Rye on the sandwich.
Joel: Mitchell!
Servo: Heart's pounding.
Joel: Mitchell!
Servo: Arteries clogging.
Both: Mitchell!
*Mitchell has a "female guest" over. he gives her a beer, which he drops on her*
Servo: Well, she was gonna smell like beer sooner or later.
Mitchell: Sorry.. The beer got a littl excited.
Crow (as "Guest"): It's okay, we can just cuddle.
*Mitchell shows up to some place after eating with Cummings*
Servo (as Mitchell): Oh man. I'm so hungry. Only had two steaks for dinner, didn't finish my orange. All the frozen yogurt places were closed. Big buttery moon up there. Sidewalk kinda looks like ice cream... if you squint hard. These stairs look like cake...
*Mitchell shows up at his 'lady friend's' place and they uh... do stuff*
Crow: Why would anyone wanna do this with Mitchell, Joel?!
*During the love scene, we see a shot of Baby Oil.*
Crow: Baby oil?!
All: NO!!!!
Song in Background: Oh my my my..
Crow: My my my god!
*We see Mitchell in his house stripping getting ready for a shower. Cue the jump cut*
Crow: Thank god for the jump cut!
*We get a shot of Mitchell and Cumming's hindquarters*
Crow: He's no Claude Akins, but what a butt! (Master Ninja Reference)
*Mitchell's being chased by a thug who looks just like Andy Kaufman. After getting a shotgun from a police helicopter, he shoots him*
Crow (as Letika): Dank you vey much!
*After JatBs leave the theater, the singer keeps singing in the credits*
Singer: He's such a super dude he's the American dream. Like the guys on the big screen.
Joel: Mitchell!
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Yeah, I Accuse My Parents was a really good episode that I enjoyed.
With the departure of Joel, this marks the halfway point of the nationally broadcast series. Mike Nelson (the head writer for the series) was promoted up to the new human host (as handpicked by Joel.) He would remain as the human aboard the SOL until the series ended.
I know a lot of people wonder why Joel left. Some say it was because he was uncomfortable being recognized by strangers, some say it was because he didn't want to do a movie, some say it was a feud with Jim Mallon (the executive producer/voice of Gypsy.) I think Joel himself has switched stances on each one over the years, but (according to a relatively recent interview with Joel,) the problem was that Jim Mallon wasn't offering Joel equal status on a potential movie. Seeing as he created the show, he felt like he was being slighted, and left.
On a more personal note: up until I began this project, I had only seen a handful of Joel-era episodes (Manos, SCCTM, and a few others). I can say now that I enjoy both Joel and Mike equally as hosts. Both brought in funny riffs, and their takes on how to riff are equally good. Here's hoping the series stays as good for Mike as it did for Joel!
I really enjoyed Joel's half of season five. Lots of great and memorable episodes. It's better than season four, that's for sure. It helps that there wasn't that many episodes (and less of a chance of an outright terrible episode.)
Here are the rankings for season five (Joel): T-1st. Eegah 10/10 T-1st. Mitchell 10/10 3rd. Secret Agent Super Dragon 9.5/10 T-4th. I Accuse My Parents w/short The Truck Farmer 9/10 T-4th. The Girl in Lovers Lane 9/10 T-6th. Hercules 8.5/10 T-6th. Lassie: The Painted Hills w/short Body Care and Grooming 8.5/10 8th. Warrior of the Lost World 8/10 9th. Swamp Diamonds w/short What To Do On a Date 7.5/10 10th. The Magic Voyage of Sinbad 7/10 11th. Operation Double 007 6.5/10 12th. Gunslinger 5.5/10
Season Averages:
T-1st. Season Three: 8.3/10 T-1st Season Five (Joel): 8.3/10 3rd. Season Four: 7.6/10 4th. Season Two: 7.5/10 5th. Season One: 5.7/10
I'm considering taking a week off to recharge my batteries for this show. I love MST3K and all, but watching 5-6 shows a week starts wearing down a person! I'll make sure to keep this bumpaged so the purge monster doesn't get it.
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Yeah, I really enjoyed the series. It's episodes like that that make me wish the show was still on the air, or at least the reruns were shown on some TV station.
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Season Five Episode Thirteen: The Brain That Wouldn't Die Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank
Plot Synopsis:. After a horrible car accident decapitates Jan, Dr. Bill Cortner (Jan's fiancee) collects her severed head and rushes it to his laboratory, where he revives it and manages to keep it alive in a liquid-filled tray. Cortner decides to commit murder to obtain an attractive new body to attach to his fiancée's head. As he hunts for a suitable specimen, Jan begins to hatch some murderous plans of her own. Filled with hatred for Cortner because he won't let her die, she communicates telepathically with a hideous mutant in the laboratory cell, telling it to kill the scientist.
Host Segments:
Prologue: It’s Mike’s first day on the SOL and the ‘Bots have been giving him training on the finer points of riffing.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Mike’s first invention is the Gutter-bumber-chute, an umbrella with a gutter system. The Mads are not impressed. In Deep 13, Dr. Forrester invents the Dream Buster, which allows him to pop the balloons of bratty children from a safe distance. MatBs are unimpressed, as Dr. Forrester manhandles Frank.
Segment Two: The Bots aid Mike in attempting to gain control of the ship and get back to Earth. He ends up cutting the cheese compressor line. Gypsy hollers, "That's not cheese!"
Segment Three: It's craft time as Mike and the Bots are making hats for Jan in the Pan, the bodiless lady in the film. Included in the hats is a Crown Roast Hat, to help give the illusion of height.
Segment Four: When discussing the depressing nature of the film, Mike is compelled to tell an embarrassing childhood story about a walk-a-thon. The story includes a long walk home, an ice cream cone and a locked bathroom door.
Ending Segment: MatBs don’t read letters because none are addressed to Mike, and they are visited by Jan in the Pan. She has an incredible sense of humor until Mike offends her. Mike things the whole experience bites. In Deep 13, Dr. Forrester decides to lop off Frank's head.
Stinger: Unpleasant Stripper: "Who's to tell me to blow if I don’t want to?"
Review:
It was a pretty smart move by the writers to pick this movie as Mike's first experiment. The movie is bad, but not so bad that it's horrible. Mike showed that he was the perfect replacement for Joel as the human host. Now obviously, with a new host, they changed quite a few things. There was a new set for the SOL, a new door sequence (the same one that would be used until the end of the series), as well as new opening credits.
I guess the big question is: how was the episode? It was a good episode. Mike had some pretty good riffs, and his delivery was good as well. Of course, being the head writer since season two helped, I'm sure. The host segments were pretty good as well. Though the invention exchange obviously didn't last much longer after this, both inventions weren't half bad. Overall, good first episode for Mike. 8.5/10
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Servo: Do you think a gaffer is someone who keeps messing up?
Mike: No, he's not a gaffer, he's a G-A-F'er.
*We see a few doctors operating on a patient*
Crow (as a Doctor): You were right, the liver isn't in the skull.
Mike: Throw him on the pile.
*After the patient is declared dead, Dr. Bill Cotner speak up*
Bill: Now do I have permission do it my way?
Crow: Have at it. We'll make it a closed casket.
*During the surgery*
Bill: I've been working on something like this for weeks.
Dr. Cotner (his father): In your.. laboratory?
Bill: Yes. I knew this would work if I had the oppurtunity.
Dr. Cotner: You don't conduct experiments on people! You must know the results first.
Crow: Then they wouldn't be experiments.
*Jan shows up. Bill and Jan are about to leave*
Dr. Cotner: Well, what do you two have planned for the weekend?
Bill: Oh, nothing much. Quiet weekend.
Dr. Cotner: You sure you're not going up to the country house?
Crow (as Bill): We have a country house?
Dr. Cotner: Always sneaking off up there. That place gives me the creeps. I should've sold it when your mother died.
Mike (as Bill): Wait, mother's dead?
*Bill and Jan go off to the country house, but Bill's driving too fast and has an accident. Bill is fine, and looks for Jan. He puts his hand on his stomach*
Servo: Diarrhea is like a storm raging inside of you.
*During the experiment to revive Jan's head*
Mike: This is the most complicated beer bong I've ever seen.
*Jan in the Pan starts talking*
Crow: Doesn't she need lungs?
Servo: She's got neck juice!
*After seeing Bill flirt with a few women at a club, we get a shot of a needle in front of Jan in the Pan*
Servo: Meanwhile, at Kurt Cobain's house!
*The scene immediately cuts back to Bill, after showing some medical equipment keeping Jan alive*
Servo: That was an important scene, huh?
*Bill visits a lady friend from school named Dorris, who's a model* She's in the middle of a photoshoot*
Crow (as photographer): Can you be a little stiffer and less appealing?
*Doris shows Bill a disfiguring scar on the side of her head*
Doris: Am I still appealing to you now?
Crow (as Bill): Look lady, I got a girlfriend with her head in a lasagna pan. I've seen it all.
*Kurt, Bill's assistant is attacked by the thing Bill's made. It rips off his good arm*
Mike: Guess you call that a farewell to arms.
Crow: Zing!
*Kurt is struggling to stay alive*
Mike: Ironically, he collapses into an armchair.
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Season Five Episode Fourteen: Teen-age Strangler w/short Is This Love? Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank
Plot Synopsis (Short): A girl goes against the old-fashioned love of her parents (and very old-looking roommate), abandons her parents, and runs away with a new hookup. The short ends asking whether their love will last long or not.
Plot Synopsis (Movie): Jimmy, a troubled teen with an undeserved criminal past is the suspect when young women start turning up around town dead and marked up with lipstick.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Mike tries to phone his grandma for help. He runs into problems with calling long distance from space and answering machines.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: In Deep 13, the Frank-N-Forcer keeps Frank out of Dr. Forrester's way. On the SOL, the Waiter-Baiter attracts waiters so you don’t have to.
Segment Two: MatBs read some e.e. cummings poetry and ponder the question, "What is love?" Crow wants to hear more about "hot love". The gang ends up pondering the nature of love, mostly in terms of famous celebrities. Hilariously, most of them are now divorced now.
Segment Three: Crow of the Crow-Magnons and Tom of the Hovermothers want to rumble gangland style, but Mike intervenes by "rapping" with the Bots. The Bots point out that it's just an act.
Segment Four: The Bots have a gadget attached to a pair of giant glasses that will make Mike act like Mikey from the movie. Mike wises up eventually, and takes sweet revenge on them.
Ending Segment: As the Bots go on Thanksgiving Break, lonely custodian Mike sings "I’m a Janitor". Back in Deep 13, Dr. F uses sawdust to clean up after Frank when he bounces along to the song.
Stinger: "And he didn’t steal no bike neither...I did!"
Review:
The short is one of those classic "don't be a nonconformist" bits of nothing that tried to tell a message, but was either misguided or poorly thought out.
The movie was beyond strange. The actors are atrocious, the budget nonexistent, and the plot stupid. Hell, the antagonist isn't even a teenager! He's just a crusty janitor! The real highlight of this turd is Mikey, the awkward younger brother of Jimmy. It is clear the kid has never acted before in his life, and he's just trying his best, but it comes off as completely narmtastic. He's no Torgo, but he's good.
The riffing in this episode is good, considering it's Mike's show. The host segments were great, and I especially liked Segment Four when all three of them became Mikey from the movie. Another relatively strong episode for Mike's half of the season. 8/10
Favorite Riffs (Short):
*We get a shot of a college dorm room, before seeing a female co-ed. Dawson Casting seems to have played a role here.*
Crow: Jeez, how many times was she held back?
Liz (to Peg, entering room): Hi Peg.
Mike (as Peg): Hi Mom.
*We get a shot of a Adam, Liz's guy, writing a letter*
Servo (as Adam): Uh let's see.. "If my" yeah.. "If my" uh "If my demands are not met the screams of those who wronged me and the smell of burning flesh will fill the student uh.. student.. union."
*Peg's parents confront her about wanting to marry Joe the football player after the semester. She doesn't take their words to kindly, gets mad, and leaves.*
Mike (as Peg's father): Well hun, looks like we spawned a demon seed.
*Peg and Joe make out in the back of a car after talking life over*
Servo: Watch out for snakes!
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Season Five Episode Fifteen: The Wild Wild World of Batwoman w/ short Cheating Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank
Plot Synopsis (Short):. A young boy learns an important leason: when cheating your way to the top, make sure that you're not caught.
Plot Synopsis (Movie): a busty Batwoman enlists her beauteous bevy of Batgirls (when they're not dancing The Jerk) to help her regain a mad scientist's invention (a nuclear powered hearing aid) before a costumed ne'er-do-well, Rat Fink, can glom onto it for his own purposes
Host Segments:
Prologue: The game is Blackjack, Mike serving as the dealer. The Bots however have no idea how to play.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Crow still wants more cards. Frank has come up with the Atomic Hair Dryer and uses it on Dr. Forrester, much to Frank's horror. MatBs prepare to banish back hair forever with the Razorback.
Segment Two: Mike is enthralled with the 'Cheating' short they've watched, and decides that they should all prepare essays regarding the questions the narrator asked at the end of the short.
Segment Three: The Bots give their essays about the 'Cheating' short. However, it soon becomes apparent that Crow has 'cheated,' when he relates word-for-word Gypsy's essay ('Cheating is bad. Richard Basehart, is good.'). Tom is incensed, and calls for Crow to be immolated.
Segment Four: Tom, Mike, and Gypsy hold a meeting to decide what to do about Crow's cheating. Things quickly get out of hand
Ending Segment: Mike, Gypsy and Tom decide to give Crow the chance to plead his case. However, it takes some prompting before Crow offers any form of apology. Mike reads a letter from a guy who is about to graduate from law school and wants to represent him in a suit against the Mads. Then we return to Deep 13 to see Frank flee from a woozy, irradiated Dr. F who is happy with his new hair style.
Stinger: A batgirl bites one of her kidnappers.
Review:
This was the first time I've seen that short and I'm really shocked I skipped over it. It's extremely funny. I've always been a supporter than the shorts should be very good and stand on their own, and this one definitely would.
The movie is... not a movie. This almost felt like Monster A-Go Go in terms of how much sense it made, but considering the fact that most of the "actors" in this film actually stay for the entire movie, I guess it's not THAT bad. It felt like the makers of this flick didn't know if they wanted a comedy, horror, or exploitation film, so they just threw a few genres in a blender and hit mix, though i firmly believe this movie was made on the fanservice alone.
The riffing of both movie and short were pretty good, though the short was the stronger of the two. The movie had a few good riffs, but it was a bit too nonsensical. It's an alright episode with some good riffs, but there's better out there. 7/10
Favorite Riffs (Short):
*John get a call that he has cheated. He looks at himself in a mirror.*
Narrator: You a cheat, John? John, what have you done?!
Crow: Mother Theresa called. She hates you.
*We get a flashback to where it all started. John at Mary's house*
John: You substract x from x-squared and..
Mike (as Mary): John, this is geography.
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*John asks Mary to help him cheat, but backs out quickly*
Narrator: But you remember what happened the next day, John.
Servo (as Narrator): You committed a mortal sin.
*We get a shot of John struggling with the test.*
Narrator: Right there in front of you sat your pal Mary. With her head chocked full of all the answers YOU needed.
Crow: Split it open now.
*The Teacher hands back all the test, giving Mary her test*
Mike (as Narrator): Your one mistake. You signed your test Mary Mathews.
*John depends on Mary more and more on tests, and asks her for the answer to a question. The teacher sees them*
Teacher: John. Bring it up here, please.
*Mike and Tom make siren and alarm sounds*
Crow: Put your pencil down and step away from your desk!
Servo: Fortunately, your mob ties will get you off.
*John meets up with his pal Jim, who's putting up meetings for the student council (something John is in.) Jim is standing in what has to be the most uncomfortable position ever*
Jim: I don't think you wanna come to this council meeting, It's about you.
John: Me?
Jim: That's what I hear.
Servo (as Jim): By the way, have you seen my ribcage?
Favorite Riffs (Movie):
*Two Batgirls induct a new girl in their club, and have her drink some weird potion*
Crow: It's like a party in my mouth, and everyone's invited!
*After two straight scenes where NOTHING connects to each other*
Crow: They just put a bunch of movies in a blender and pressed the MIX button.
*We get a shot of a hooded masked guy standing outside a building*
Crow: There's a peeping Zorro outside!
*The phone rings*
Servo: Happens every time I'm stalking!
*Batwoman is talking to some thugs who took one of her Batgirls*
Batwoman: This is Batwoman speaking to you, whoever you are. I have a simple warning that you've taken on much more than you can handle.
*The masked guy is still there*
Mike: There's a Mexican wrestler lurking outside.
Crow: El Santo.
*We see a mad scientist (who sorta looks like Dr. Forrester) working with his chemistry set*
Servo: Beakman's World!
*During a meeting, some guy talks to Batwoman about a weapon Rat Fink has. While this is going on, two Batgirls are struggling for a horseshoe in the background*
Crow: So.. there's a subplot about a horseshoe, now?
*We get a shot of the outside of a plane*
Servo: THERESAMANONTHEWINGOFTHEPLANE!
Mike: No there isn't.
Servo: Oh, sorry.
*The Batwoman are on the beach looking for.. something. I think this was the beach episode of the movie. While they are there, Rat Fink is abducting them*
Crow: She went on the beach not expecting to be abducted by a Mexican wrestler!
Mike: Bad touch, El Santo!
*We see some sort of cave used by the big bad. Inside, we spot a VERY familiar group of folks*
Servo: It's the mole people! The movies have crashed!
Mike: You got your bat people in my mole people!
Servo: You got your mole people in my bat people!
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http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/61035294 - My MST3K Watchthrough topic.
Season Five Episode Sixteen: Alien from L.A. Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank
Plot Synopsis: Nerdy teenager Wanda Saknussemm (played by model Kathy Ireland) goes looking for her missing archeologist father and stumbles into a strange underground civilization.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Crow presides over boot camp at Fort Satellite of Love
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Dr. Forrester presents the Vend-a-gut, which makes getting a donor organ as easy as getting a Snickers bar. To make it more realistic, he took out Frank's liver, and invested all of Frank's savings into the invention. Mike demonstrates Fridge Udders.
Segment Two: Mike and the Bots play guess the supermodel. The bots claim it’s Clara Peller (the Where's the Beef lady). Mike can't get them to think otherwise. (The clues actually point to Paulina Porizkova.)
Segment Three: MatBs sing “My Wild Irish Ireland,” with Tom doing the Kathy Ireland part. Pathetically, Mike starts to think Tom really is Kathy.
Segment Four: MatBs play the “guess Kathy’s emotions” game. The answer is usually Dull Surprise (Trope Namer!)
Ending Segment: Frank is still feeding change to the Vend-a-gut.
Stinger: Kathy says “Yuck!”
Review:
Unfortunately, this movie is nowhere near as hilariously bad as TFS. It's basically a cheap cash in on Journey to the Center of the Earth, but without a movie to set it up (THAT movie was a sequel to this one.. somewhat.) The main problem with this movie is the lead actress. She's a terrible actress. Not Mikey bad, but still pretty bad. Now that I think about it, Wanda sounds like Mikey, without the Southern accent. Yikes. Aside from the lead actress' flaws, this movie isn't that good. In a way, it reminds me of The Final Sacrifice, only this movie was made in America, based on a famous novel, and had a whiny female lead.
The riffing was surprisingly weak for this episode. I guess you could chalk it up to either this movie wasn't exactly good riffing material (it kinda wasn't) or that Mike was still getting into the groove of the show? Either way, it's not Mike's best episode of Season Five. It's got a few decent riffs (and some good host segments) but overall it's a bit disappointing. 4.5/10
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http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/61035294 - My MST3K Watchthrough topic.
*Wanda is talking to some hunky surfer guy on the beach. As this is going on, a truck passes by in the background... on the beach*
Servo: Hey guys, it's Baywatch!
*The guys get excited and hoot at the truck*
*We get a shot of an archeologist, who I think is Wanda's father.*
Mike: He looks like Clint Howard!
*Someone writes a letter in cursive to Wanda*
Servo (Reading the letter): Dear Miss Sahnumchnumnumnum.
*Wanda is at one of her dad's friends places. She is reading a book and we get a cut to a door. Beside the door is a statue of a short fat man and what appears to be a belt buckle*
Crow: Look, a cult that worships John Candy.
Mike: And look up there, Nick Bockwinkel's belt buckle!
*Wanda falls down a shaft, and is looking at a picture of her mother*
Mike (as Wanda): Mom! Why are you doing behind that glass? You look so small.
*Wanda and Gus (The fake Austrilian guy that Wanda meets) are climbing down a ladder. Magic Skirt is averted.*
Crow: Whoa! That'd make your shamrock shake.
Mike: I need to get my sheliheal.
*Wanda stumbles upon Charmin', who helps her out. He immediately falls for her. I guess*
Charmin: You're an unusual girl, Wanda. And I mean more than your voice is strange.
Mike (as Wanda): What exactly is wrong with my voice?
*Charmin' fights General Rykov, the big bad who looks like a blue vampire. During their fight, they somehow end up in a room with light shining in (they're underground.) The scene looks like it was ripped off from another movie*
Crow: Suddenly it's the end of Highlander.
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http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/61035294 - My MST3K Watchthrough topic.
Season Five Episode Seventeen: Beginning of the End Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank
Plot Synopsis: Newspaper photojournalist Audrey Aimes accidentally stumbling upon a small town in Illinois which has been inexplicably destroyed. All 150 people in the town are missing, and the evidence indicates they are dead. Incredibly, the local fields are also barren, as if a swarm of locusts had eaten all the crops. Aimes suspects that the military is covering something up, and travels to a nearby United States Department of Agriculture experimental farm to learn what creature might have caused the agricultural destruction. She meets Dr. Ed Wainwright (Peter Graves), who is experimenting with radiation as a means of growing gigantic fruits and vegetables to end world hunger. Dr. Wainwright reports that there have been a number of mysterious incidents nearby, and that locusts have eaten all the radioactive wheat stored in a nearby grain silo.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Mike and the Bots attempt to sing some classic standards is repeatedly interrupted by a white trash woman (Pehl) on the Hexfield who keeps dialing the wrong number.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: After being on the phone with the woman for a while, Mike finally hangs up on her when she's distracted. Down in Deep 13 the Mads have come up with the Re-comfy bike, even more comfortable than the recumbent bike. Frank doesn't like it though. MatBs present new playing cards. .
Segment Two: While the Bots advise against it, Mike calls the Mads and catches them doing unmasculine things. The Mads try to cover it up, but it's too late. Mike says he won't do that for a while.
Segment Three: Crow has written a screenplay: "Peter Graves Goes to the University of Minnesota". It gets somewhat repetitive.
Segment Four: Tom's standup routine at the Improv (with its trademark red brick wall) is heavy on jokes comparing grasshoppers and locusts.
Ending Segment: Mike unlocks the secret to Bert I. Gordon special effects by having toy grasshoppes attack fan postcards, Meanwhile in Deep 13, the Mads box to reclaim their dignity.
Stinger: "Alright, men. Into the woods!"
Review:
Oh yeah, another Bert I. Gordon disasterpiece. I think this is his 37th movie shown on MST3K. Believe you me when I say they all suck. The better question for today's flick is how good was it? Well, it was definitely in so bad it's good territory. Who would be afraid of giant grasshoppers? If they're anything like the giant ants, gecko, and radroaches of Fallout, they should be a piece of cake. Clearly Mr. BIG saw it differently.
The riffing for this episode was much better than the previous two episodes. There were more than just a few laugh out moments. Not only that bu the Host Segments were also as funny. Mike discovering that they could call the Mads, then finding out what they do during the experiments is one of the better host segments I've seen. Good episode all around. 9/10
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http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/61035294 - My MST3K Watchthrough topic.
*We see a makeout couple... making out at the make out spot, while a song plays in the background*
Crow: Hey, how does he sing while he's kissing her?!
*We get a shot of.. nothing. Nothing is happening.*
Crow: So is something going to happen?
Mike: Folks, we'll start the movie as soon as our ride gets here.
*Police dispatchers are looking for Car 254. The officer finally picks up after running to the car*
Officer: Hello Oblin Medol(?)
Crow: It's really dark!
Officer: The whole town's destroyed!
Crow: It's really neat!
Officer: Everybody's gone!
Crow: I'm lonely...
*We get the exact same shot as earlier, only the sun's out*
Servo: Wha- Hey! You know Bert I. did this all in one take.
Mike: When I was a boy we didn't have fast moving movies sometimes we had to wait three or four hours for something to happen!
Crow: I love that story..
*Audrey, the lead female of the movie, is stopped by the army, and is forced to turn around. She turns her car around, and stops on the side of the road. In the background, mountains.*
Mike: Guys, this is SO not Illinois (Trope Namer!)
*Audrey is investigating local places that might have anything with radiation, and comes across Dr. Ed Wainwright. He's storing it in a fridge*
Mike (as Dr. Ed): Maybe I shouldn't be storing my lunch in here. I dunno.
*Audrey talks to some army officials, she goes back to Dr. Ed and his mute assistant Frank. Frank starts using sign language*
Mike (as Dr. Ed): Frank. That's filthy! I should wash your hands out with soap.
Audrey: What's he saying?
Dr. Ed: He says your lips are easy to read, that your theory makes you a bright girl in his book, and that he'd like to go along with it.
Crow (as Dr. Ed): And he's being held here against his will.
*Audrey, Dr. Ed, and Frank check out the local town to see what has happened. Frank is attacked by a giant grasshopper.*
Mike: He's signing "Aaah!"
*Dr. Ed is about to get the army out there to investigate the giant locus. Or grasshoppers, or whatever. When they find them, they retreat and attack*
Servo: We're going to get RAID, right? We're going to get a WHOLE lot of RAID, right?
*After the fight, Dr. Ed talks to Audrey in a military office*
Dr. Ed: In a way, I feel responsible.
Mike: In a way?
*Dr. Ed and the Colonel go into Chicago and find a grasshopper. They use gas to put it out, and wear gasmasks with unusually long nozzle things*
Servo: Hey, it's Trumpy!
*We get a shot of the giant grasshoppers crawling on the buildings. At least, that's what Mr. B.I.G. would want us to believe*
Crow: That's a postcard!
Servo: Hey watch it! You're stepping off the building there.
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http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/61035294 - My MST3K Watchthrough topic.
Ha! Finally got a chance to read your Brain review. I think my favorite riff (and the only one I can remember) is when Bill is looking for a body and he's watching that model and she turns around and one of the guys (Mike) blurts out, "HI!" in a haggish voice.
-- Proud member of the Global Defence Force. http://img.imgcake.com/AlecTrevylan006/AceKilljoyShieldpngyp.png
Season Five Episode Eighteen: The Atomic Brain w/short What About Juvenile Delinquency Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank
Plot Synopsis (Short): A band of no-good punks beat a guy for driving too slow and steal his mechanical pencil, before arriving to pick up their missing member Jamie, the son of the man they've just beaten
Plot Synopsis (Movie): Hetty March is a rich old lady with plenty of money. With the help of rogue scientist Dr. Otto Frank kept on retainer, she intends to have her brain (through the miracle of modern 1964 atomics) transferred into a young body. The body is to be selected from three candidates. Which one will it be? Anita from Spain, Nina from Austria, or Bea from England? What does her aged companion think of this? Will the scientist be able to gain something from this? And do the three donors suspect what awaits them?
Host Segments:
Prologue: Mike gushes as the Bots do the final dress rehearsal for the performance piece Love Letters.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: The Bots dress up as and mock the Mads, leaving the Mads no choice but to fight fire with fire.
Segment Two: With the aid of a weather station kit, Tom has transformed himself into Weather Servo 9! He quickly learns why they normally don't leave the safety of the ship.
Segment Three: Mike shows the Bots what a chin puppet is. They're disturbed by Mike's behavior... until he turns right side up.
Segment Four: Magic Voice chats with the film's voice-over guy, but quickly finds him to be loathsome.
Ending Segment: Crow is Hank Kimball as The Fugitive while Mike reads some letters. "Dr." Frank consents to meet Dr. Fist.
Stinger: Anita teaches us Spanish for "AAAAAAAH!"
Review:
So, apparently delinquents beat up their own gang member's fathers? That short made absolutely no sense. Why did they make an educational short on something that would almost never happen?
Another thing that barely made any sense: The Atomic Brain. Yeah, the movie was about transferring brains from one person to another (or to creatures or whatever) but The Atomic Brain almost sounds like the name of a bad B-Movie horror movie, not a bad B-Movie whatever the hell this was.
Suffice to say, despite neither movie making a whole lot of sense, there were some pretty good riffs on both, and the host segments were quite funny as well. It's a good episode, but not great. 7.5/10
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http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/61035294 - My MST3K Watchthrough topic.
Season Five Episode Nineteen: Outlaw of Gor Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank
Plot Synopsis: A beefy blond Earth man Cabot and his piggish friend Watney are teleported by a rose quartz to another planet/dimension because The Elder (he has no name, just "The Elder"), ruler of Koroba, thinks that Xeno, the Priest (Jack Palance), has eyes for the throne. The Elder is wrong, though; it's the Queen who wants the throne for herself. Cabot cares nothing for such intrigue, just for the Princess. Watney is seduced by the Queen to help implicate Cabot in the murder of the King. Cabot and his platinum blond midget friend escape off into the desert where they free a slave girl and are just as quickly captured by a bounty hunter.
Host Segments:
Prologue: MatBs are roughhousing on the SOL bridge. Gypsy warns them to stop, but they fail to heed her warnings.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Servo recovers from the roughhousing. The Mads are really proud of their Really Real Time Machine. But it turns out the time machine is just a box where Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank can go change into period costumes. MatBs show off the results of their Fabio Kit. Gypsy laughs at them.
Segment Two: MatBs look through a scrapbook of Mike’s stage career. He wore a sailor suit in every show he ever did, even when it was not necessary
Segment Three: Inspired by all the exposed flesh in the movie Mike and the Bots sing the musical revue "Tubular Boobular Joy".
Segment Four: MatBs eagerly read excerpts from the book Palance on Palance, complete with appropriate voices. Things start to get a bit weird when "Jack" writes down about killing a guy.
Ending Segment: MatBs revisit the many buffalo shots from the movie. Back in Deep 13, the Mads are going through dances of the ages for no apparent reason.
Stinger: The Evil Queen tells Jack Palance, “Get out of here, you disGUSting WOORRRRRM!”
Review:
Annoying plucky comic relief, hunky lead, quite a few fanservice-y woman, and Jack Palance. This movie, like Cave Dwellers, feels like it was made because of Conan The Barbarian (though Gor was a popular novel series in itself.) The movie is pretty rough, but it does fall into the so bad it's good territory.
Because it's so bad it's good, it is a goldmine of good riffing. MatBs tear into this movie something awful, and it makes for a great episode. There's plenty of laughs to go around, that's for sure. The host segments were good as well. Tubular Boobular Joy is one of the more infamous episodes in the series, and the Jack Palance excerpts were great. All around, excellent episode that should be watched by all MSTies. 10/10
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http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/61035294 - My MST3K Watchthrough topic.
Season Five Episode Twenty: Radar Secret Service.w/short Last Clear Chance Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank
The Short's Plot Synopsis: "Friendly" cop Hal Jackson visits the Dixon family to instruct their youngest son, Alan , in the art of safe and courteous driving. He relates many grisly tales of various young drivers, his main advice being to pay attention, but Alan's older brother Frank Jr. isn't listening, and drives with his girlfriend Betty into the path of an oncoming train while turning around and waving at the car behind him. Officer Hal, driving to the edge of near insanity, snaps.
The Movie's Plot Synopsis: G-men track stolen Uranium-238 shipment using new radar technology; they also recruit the girlfriend of a gang member as an informant. Radar helps, but it takes an undercover blonde to really get the goods on criminal masterminds.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Mike performs Crow’s maintenance checkup, but has no idea what he's doing. The result: Crow becomes Arnold Horshack.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Mike has an escape plan: tear up everything aboard the SOL made of fabric (including Gypsy’s bra, Crow’s Underoos and pants from The Killer Shrews, and Tom Servo's pantyhose) and tie the scraps together to make a very long rope. He might be a bit delusional. The Mads present Hypno-Helio-Static-Stasis (containing X-4), a device which slows down movies and fills them with "subliminal poopie".
Segment Two: Based on the tragic short, Trooper Tom presents the playlet "Why Don’t They Look?" Dryer lint is more dangerous than one imagines! The Mads present the movie.
Segment Three: The Bots simulate Mike’s 10-year high school reunion, based on what they found in Mike's yearbook. The theme: "Hungry Like the Wolf".
Segment Four: Mike and Crow have built the Quinn Martin Nature Preserve so old actors have a place to go when they’re no longer useful. Servo eventually recognizes that the Hypno-Helio-Static-Stasis is taking effect on them.
Ending Segment: The Mads are foiled by Ecstato-Euphoro-Fun (with patented Hinder 90), a device which takes a B movie and turns it into a "Yippee movie"! Frank eventually falls under Hinder 90's spell.
Stinger: The hysterical French maid shouts, "Thank you!"
Review:
I said it before, I'll say it again. Last Clear Chance is by far one of the best shorts ever shown on MST3K. The premise, while actually useful (compared to selling chevy's or talking to a man-woman) still comes off as badly acted and unintentionally hilarious. Also, seeing as it was made by Union Pacific Railroad, they are able to throw in a positive train message in there. Why? I dunno. This is one of THE shorts that should be on every MSTies' must watch list.
Maybe because of how good the short is, the movie is really dull and boring. Considering it was made by the same man that brought us Lost Continent (ROCK CLIMBING) I shouldn't be shocked. I would advise anyone who watches this episode to not worry too much about the featured movie, since it really doesn't stand up too well, even with MatBs riffing it.
That being said, almost all the laughs in this episode are to be found in the short, with the movies getting a few chuckles here and there. The host segments were hilarious (especially the one based off the short.) If the movie had been somewhat better, this would easily be a 10/10 episode, but the way it stands this is more along the lines of 8/10
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http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/61035294 - My MST3K Watchthrough topic.
*Transition back to Hal, who is still talking it up with the farmers*
Mike (As Frank, sobbing): Will you please, please leave!
*After spending a minute or so talking up the good qualities of trains...*
Hal (narrating): When the trains coming, it can't stop.
Mike: Trains of blameless, holy creatures.
*Frank Jr. and Betty show up*
Frank Jr.: I give up Hal, I surrender! What's the charge?
Crow (as Hal): Hahaha.. Manslaughter!
*Frank Jr. and Betty follow Alan as he goes to town*
Crow: I have a feeling one of these characters is about to see their own intestines.
*After Frank Jr. and Betty have a bad run in with a train*
Crow (as cop): Will you identify this bucket full of your brother?
*As Hal gets in his car and starts to drive off*
Hal: So if the next car happens to be yours, don't tell me you were speeding a little, breaking the law a little...
Servo: Uh-oh..
Hal: Only doing something a little bit wrong, save that for somebody else, brother!
Crow: Oh my god, he's snapped!
Hal: Cause I've seen too many little follies!
Servo: He's a bad cop on the loose!
Hal: Someone's going to end up a little bit dead.
Mike: Now I'm going to grab a little bit of lunch.
*We get random shots of cops saluting*
Crow: Folks, we disavow anything to do with that officer! In fact, he was fired years ago.
Servo: That's right. Since his reign of terror, we've instituted a strict policy. Any officer appearing unannounced at a farmer's house will be severely reprimanded.
*Due to forced perspective, a cop looks far larger than he is*
Mike: Gargantucop.
Favorite Riffs (movie):
Narrator: Radar! A magic word. Born of a world conflict.
Mike: War is good.
*Mr. Hamilton and Tom the Radar Guy are talking about the radar. Apparently, it works just like sonar, since they found a school of fish on it*
Mr. Hamilton: I've always maintained that there is no limit to the possibilities of radar.
Servo (as Hamilton): Now where's the damn donut cart?
*A couple of guys are burying some dead bodies or something. The radar people are tracking them down, and they try to escape.*
Driver: C'mon, Blacky!
Mike: It's not Blacky, it's African Americany.
*The guys who planned the... whatever are standing around. All of a sudden, we hear a VERY reminiscent whistle sound*
Crow: No waffles!
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http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/61035294 - My MST3K Watchthrough topic.
Season Five Episode Twenty-Two: Teen-Age Crime Wave Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank
Plot Synopsis: A propaganda film intended to highlight the growing problem of juvenile crime. Jane, present during a robbery, is falsely convicted of being an accessory. While being taken with her companion, Terry, to an industrial school on the week of Thanksgiving, Terry's boyfriend springs them both. With the police hot on their tail, they take over a farmhouse and terrorize the family within while waiting for a co-conspirator to arrive with money and transport.
Host Segments:
Prologue: MatBs are preparing another escape attempt, while Mike wants to keep things low key, the Bots insist on running through all the required WWII POW escape movie cliches.
Segment One/Invention Exchange: Mike continues to try and keep their escape attempt quiet, while down in Deep 13 Dr. Forrester has come up with mace mousse and takes great delight in using Satan's Jockstrap repeatedly on TV's Frank. MatB's liquid rocket pack escape attempt fails due to the fact the LOX tank was filled with the brined samon Lox and not Liquid Oxygen. Crow doesn't get why this should make a difference.
Segment Two: Inspired by the movie, MatBs pay tribute to the important role Doughy Guys played in history.
Segment Three: MatBs create the first deli in space, S.o.l's!
Segment Four: Crow sings the "Mystos!" song while Mike, Tom, and Gypsy act out Mentos-esque vignettes. Mentos Finger, indeed.
Ending Segment: While Mike and Crow very briefly discuss the issues raised by the movie, Tom delivers the letters to read. Prisoners approve of Mike, and Crow points out the situation between Mike and inmates are similar. Down in Deep 13, Frank is now dressed as the superhero Doughy Man, which just makes him a more inviting target for Dr. Forrester to mace him again, and again, and again...
Stinger: Jane leaps to her feet and screams "TURN IT OFF!"
Review:
What's the message of this movie? Never date? I don't think it really has a message. It's sort of too crappy to have any.
At least the riffing was pretty funny. Propaganda flicks tend to be so narmy that a good riffing is all it needs, and this proves that point. Along with good host segments, this a pretty good episode if you can find it. 8/10
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http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/61035294 - My MST3K Watchthrough topic.
*While reading the opening scroll, which says 'One of the greatest and fastest growing plagues of our complex social system is the rise of...*
Mike: Oh! Okay, it's about plaque and tooth decay
Crow: Meanwhile, Darth Vader and his relentless search for Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia to the ice Planet Hoth, where they'll..
Mike: Excuse me, are you done?
Crow: Er, yes.
*Still reading the opening credits, which says Teenage Youths*
Servo: Teenage youths? As opposed to teenage elderly?
*The opening scroll goes to the next paragraph*
Mike: We gotta read the whole movie?!
Servo: Oh brother.
Crow: They said they were gonna make this book into a movie, but this is so.. hahah.
*An old doughy guy named Freddy starts hitting on a younger woman, Terry. When he finds out her date stood her up, he starts making advances*
Freddy: I got a car up the street and I know just the perfect place for a girl like you.
Crow: The backseat.
*After Jane and Terry are convicted of crimes, they are sent to industrial school. The very first thing we see? A bunch of young women clothed in only towels! Old Lady Agnus is giving exposition*
Agnus: Now this is the shower room.
Crow: Now the movie begins!
Agnus: It'll clean the dirt on the outside, even if it doesn't get to the dirt inside.
Mike: Robin Williams is Mrs. Brubaker.
*Jane and Terry start fighting, and the old lady saves Jane from when Terry has a pillow over her head*
Crow (as Agnus): Let me show you for crying out loud!
Mike: Here comes the floppy arm of the law!
*The film's Mike decides to break Jane and Terry away from their police escort. He shoots the cop driver. Jane screams*
Mike: He's got an odd scream.
*Mike decides to hole up in a barn, and drives his vehicle off the road*
Terry: How are we going to get away without a car?
Servo (as Mike):D'h! Damn! Stupid! Dumb, dumb.
*The trio are walking to the farm*
Servo: Good idea to drop the car in a gulley 70 miles from where we wanted to go.
*Terry and Mike (along with Jane) hold hostage the old farming couple Tom and Sarah. Terry gives them a warning that they shouldn't call the cops*
Terry: That goes for you too, little flower. You're just as much in this as we are.
Jane: I saw Mike kill a man. I'll be a witness to it if I ever get the chance.
Mike (as Terry): Oh right, we should kill you then.
*The cops find the vehicle Mike threw into a gulley*
Crow: Why don't they look? Tell me, why don't they look?
*Tom and Sarah's neighbor Bill shows up to the house. Bill is talking to Ben, Tom and Sarah's son*
Crow (as Tom): Hostage!
Mike (as Bill): Pasta?
Crow as Tom): Hostage!
Mike (as Bill): Sausage?
*Bill stays for a few seconds, but then starts to leave, only to see severalcigarette butts on the floor*
Mike (as Bill): My god. Did you have Rod Sterling over for dinner?
*After Mike kills Bill, Terry is upset that he killed him. Mike hits her*
Mike: Aw. I don't like this guy anymore. He's crossed the line.
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http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/61035294 - My MST3K Watchthrough topic.
Not only was he a writer, but he was the puppeteer for Crow in Seasons 8-10. Not to mention the Brain Guy during that same period. Nice find!
Season Five Episode Twenty-Three: Village of the Giants Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank
Plot Synopsis: A kid named Genius (Ron Howard) accidentally invents a substance that causes all animal life to grow. Genius's sister Nancy and her boyfriend Mike (Tommy Kirk) see the money-making potential in the substance (dubbed "Goo") and plan to sell it to help solve the world's food problem. Unfortunately, a greedy young opportunist and the group of delinquents he hangs around with decide to steal the Goo and use it for their own purposes. They soon change their minds and decide to eat the Goo themselves. They grow to gigantic proportions and temporarily take over the town.
Host Segments:
Prologue: MatBs do their quarterly workout. As Mike says, "If you can't take 30 minutes out of every year, you don't deserve a hot date!"
Segment One: MatBs put all sorts of strange items into a juicer before contacting the Mads. Dr. Forrester makes the announcement that they're making cutbacks down in Deep 13, and orders TV's Frank to fire...TV's Frank!? Yep, Frank's been given the ol' heave-ho.
Segment Two: Now that he's fired, Frank lounges around Deep 13 in his underwear, watching TV. Meanwhile, Dr. F. interviews Torgo, the former servant of the Master and former pizza delivery man, and hires him. Dr. F tells him no theme music. Torgo isn't sure what he's talking about.
Segment Three: Frank's taken up refuge in the storage closet in Deep 13 to keep Dr. F. from kicking him out. MatBs pretend to interview Frank so he’ll be eligible for unemployment benefits.
Segment Four: Frank's got his stuff packed, and is ready to go, but not before bidding MatBs adieu. The SOL crew is not that heartless, and sing a song to the former aide, titled "The Greatest Frank of Them All" (alongside a montage of clips of Frank put together by Cambot). The song energizes Frank, and so begins his plans to oust Torgo.
Ending Segment: As Mike and the Bots go through letters supporting Frank, Frank talks to Torgo, telling the goat-legged fellow that he won fair and square, and gives him some advice that will "make Dr Forrester really happy". Of course, Frank's underhanded scheme gets Torgo ejected, and Frank has his job back - though of course, the little stunt he pulled means that Dr Forrester is going to have to kill him now.
Stinger: A tribute to the late, great Frank Zappa.
Review:
The eighth and final movie of Mr. Bert I. Gordon shown on MST3K. Unlike his other films, it isn't a scary giant monster movie. Rather, this is more along the lines Bert I. adding gratuitous fanservice shots for the sake of it. Why else would there be two shots of women growing out of their clothes? Not only that, but the ending is really anti-climatic.
The riffing on this film was pretty decent, though nothing too hilarious. The real highlight of today's film is the host segments. Dr. Forrester firing Frank and hiring Torgo has to be some of the best host segments they ever produced. I nearly died laughing when Dr. F, instead of waiting for Torgo shuffle his way to the interview section, gets up and just pushes him to it (which in effect makes his theme music double in speed.) Overall, this is a pretty good episode with some good riffs, but the real highlight are the host segments. 7.5/10
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*After the opening credits, we see a car wreck. A bunch of teenagers jump out of the wrecked car and have a party*
Mike: Never was a car crash celebrated so well.
*Also during the random dance scene*
Crow: Mike, do you think this scene is establishing characterization and providing narrative?
Mike: No, but who cares?
*We see a couple of teens (Mike and Nancy) making out on a couch*
Crow: This is Tommy Kirk REALLY acting.
*Genius interupts the makeout couple, but after he leaves, we' hear an explosion*
Mike (as Genius): Aunt Bee! I can't feel my legs!
*Mike and Nancy check up on Genius*
Nancy: Are you alright?
Servo (as Genius): Suddenly, I wanna direct.
*We get a random musical number with the Beau Bummels. During the song, the two large ducks run amuck*
Guy: Where did those ducks come from?!
Crow: The turtle Gamera won't be far behind!
*While the ducks are dancing to the music.. in a crowded club*
Servo: As intune Bert I. was in the 50's, he just didn't get the 60's.
*After the dance number, we cut to a very large duck body being roasted over a fire. It's being cooked by the same kids that were dancing with the ducks earlier*
Crow: It's fun to kill things!
*A kid is snooping around Genius' lab. There's a gumball machine on one of the tables*
Servo: MOM?! Oh, mom.. mother...
*After the kid finds the goop that makes creatures grow, he goes back to the gumball machine*
Servo: Do-don't you touch her! She can't be bought out for pocket change.
*Kid puts a coin in and gets a gumball*
Servo: Mom! I can't believe you put out for a nickel! I have no mother...
*Fred and his crew has the goop. One of them give him a knife when he asks for one*
Mike: I'm gonna moon you, man!
*After taking the growth stuff, they all grow larger, and lose their clothes. One of the kids grins, then looks down*
Mike (as kid): This is great... d'oh! I didn't grow proportionally!
*Genius is trying to make a new goop formula*
Crow: He tampered in God's domain.
*The giant teenagers dance around*
Crow: You could stick your head in her navel!
Mike: Don't think I haven't thought of it.
*Same scene*
Servo: Glenn Manning wasn't this much fun.
*After the giants try to take over the town, Genius makes a serum to make them shrink back to normal, they just sort of.. wander off at the end of the movie*
Servo: That's it? Not much of a payoff. We waited all this time for THAT?
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Season Five Episode Twenty-Four: 12 To The Moon w/short Design for Dreaming Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank
Plot Synopsis (short): In this musical short, a woman dreams of a mysterious masked man who takes her to see the future... as represented by the 1956 General Motors Motorama.
Plot Synopsis (movie): An international team embarks on an expedition to the moon in an uncommonly spacious rocketship. There they encounter a faceless alien intelligence who concludes that the human race is too immature and dangerous and must be destroyed.
Host Segments:
Prologue: The Bots make fun of Mike for being forced to attend Gypsy's tea party. He inadvertently reveals that he knows less about Designing Women than Gypsy thinks he does.
Segment One: Frank hosts a roast to Dr. Forrrester until his "jokes" begin to fall flat, and Dr. F retaliates with repeated blows to the stomach. MatBs has its first ever Celebrity Open. When Gypsy calls him out of bounds, Tom has a tennis tantrum a la John McEnroe.
Segment Two: The gang is in the middle of playing international astronauts when Nuveena from the short pops in on the SOL. Her singing and dancing is greeted with fear and trepidation.
Segment Three: The crew packs to leave with Nuveena. The Bots observe she sings and dances a lot. Gypsy is not entirely optimistic about moving, while Tom wants to blow the SOL up when they leave.
Segment Four: Nuveena makes Crow into a blender, Gypsy into an oven, and Tom into a pressure cooker. In her world, robots are nothing more than slaves and appliances, and so Mike chooses the Bots over her and tells her to leave.
Ending Segment: Mike consoles himself over the loss of Nuveena with cookie dough and reads some letters to make himself feel better. In Deep 13, Nuveena makes one last appearance to dance with Frank.
Stinger: Heinrich says, "Ahh, ridiculous!"
Review:
There have been quite a few bizarre shorts shown on MST3K throughout the course of it's run, but that short... while very weird, barely cracks the nightmare fuel and insanity of say, Mr. B Natural or Case of Spring Fever. It's a weird short, for sure.
The movie was quite similar to most other sci-fi/space movies shown on MST3K. Really, it's hard to differentiate this movie from say, Rocketship XM when both movies use the exact same effects. The only real notable thing about the movie is the David Ryder-esque nicknaming of the main character, even though the names here aren't as memorable as Roll FIzzlebeef or Big McLargeHuge.
The riffing was pretty good with a few good chuckles here and there, though nothing that you'd remember the next day. The host segments were really great though, as Mike and Nuveena singing to each other. Overall, this is a good episode, though not the best of season finales. 8/10
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Season Five is done and over with now. How did Mike's episodes stand up? I enjoyed most of his episodes as much as (or more) than some of Joel's episodes, but it was clear to me that, early on at least, Mike needed a few episodes to get into the role. The riffing for a few of his first episodes wasn't particularly strong, but when he was on cue, we usually ended up with a great episode. The host segments are also of note here, as I feel Season Five has some of the best host segments you'll find in the entire series. The riffing was also better than the previous season.
Unfortunately for the show, things between Best Brains Inc. and Comedy Central began to tense up during this time. Ratings were dipping, and Comedy Central began to do increasingly more things to MST3K. They ran voiceovers over the ending credits (which irked fans when it interfered with gags that carried over the ending credits). Comedy Central wanted to squeeze the show down to an hour long, which resulted into the creation of the Mystery Science Theater Hour. Another problem came to the annual Turkey Day Special (where MST3K episodes aired over a full 24 hour period nonstop) when Comedy Central offered Best Brains a miniscule budget to make Turkey Day Segments. Best Brains refused and forced Comedy Central to make their own.
Despite all these problem (and more I haven't discussed) Comedy Central agreed to one more 24 episode season, which would also be MST3K's final season that long.
Here are the rankings for season five (Mike): 1st. Outlaw of Gor 10/10 2nd. Santa Claus 9.5/10 3rd. Beginning of the End 9/10 4th. The Brain That Wouldn't Die 8.5/10 T-5th Teen-age Strangler w/short Is This Love? 8/10 T-5th. Radar Secret Service.w/short Last Clear Chance 8/10 T-5th. Teen-Age Crime Wave 8/10 T-5th. 12 To The Moon w/short Design for Dreaming 8/10 T-9th. The Atomic Brain w/short What About Juvenile Delinquency 7.5/10 T-9th. Village of the Giants 7.5/10 11th. The Wild Wild World of Batwoman w/ short Cheating 7/10 12th. Alien from L.A.4.5/10
Season Averages:
T-1st. Season Three: 8.3/10 T-1st. Season Five (Joel): 8.3/10 3rd. Season Five: 8.1/10 4th. Season Five (Mike) 7.9/10 5th. Season Four: 7.6/10 6th. Season Two: 7.5/10 7th. Season One: 5.7/10
I'll be back Monday with the first episode of Season Six.
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Season Six Episode One: Girls Town Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank
Plot Synopsis: In 1959. Chip, a member of the "Jags" gang/car club, plummets to his implausible death in a shallow ditch while attempting to rape gang floozy Mary Lee Morgan. Double-chinned, pushy, loathsome 34-year-old "teen" and fellow Jag Frank (Mel Torme), mistakenly blames Mary Lee's sister Silver Morgan (Mamie Van Doren) for Chip's death.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Mike ant the BOts prepares for Dr. Forrester's big announcement. Mike is wearing his tuxedo jumper, and Crow has gotten The Power Steves, a less-than-enthusastic polka band.
Segment One: Dr. Forrester unveils the Umbilicus with a pompous speech, as TV's Frank tries not to go to sleep. Gypsy is part of the link and she is less than enthusiastic about it.
Segment Two: Tom "scats" like Mel Tormé until Mike and Crow have had enough. It doesn't take long, and so Mike and Crow begin a long system of containment to end the scatting, which ends before it can be enacted when commercial sign hits.
Segment Three: While Mike explains the honor system to Crow, Tom scarfs down all the honor system candy. He looks rather grotesque when he is finished.
Segment Four: The crew discusses how fads alter the idea of the perfect woman’s figure. They decide to design their own perfect woman of the future. Wings, Mexican tiles, huge eyelids, and power take-off are part what go into their design.
Ending Segment: MatBs joyfully send a cream pie down Gypsy's mouth so it can surprise Dr. F when the Umbilicus finally works the way its supposed to.
Stinger: "You tell that boy to go home right now, or I’ll call the police!"
Review:
A 1950's teen exploitation film, with Mamie Van Doren displaying her talent... and acting chops! All kidding aside, this movie isn't actually all terrible. The plot is something interesting and unique, but the acting and cruddy writing kinda ruin it. If the movie had far better writing, or if the actors were much better, this probably would've been saved from MST3K. Ah well.
The riffing was very good for the season premiere. It might be the fact that the show was on thin ice with Comedy Central and they were trying to start off strong? I dunno. The host segments were okay, though I have seen better on the show. The umbilicus plot was a sort of strange, since it brings up further questions about how on Earth the movie got sent up to the Satellite of Love. All in all, great start to the sixth season. 9.5/10
Favorite Riffs:
*Chip is struggling with Marry Lee, and is hanging off the side of a cliff*\
Mike: Right now, the guy's replaying the date in his head. 'Where did I go wrong?'
*Singing to the opening credits*
Crow: Chip is dead, he plummeted to his death!
Singer: Listen to me girl, watch your P's and Q's or you'll have the girl's town blues!
All: Chip is dead. Chip is dead Chip is dead. Chip is dead...
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*Reading the credits, which has Harold Lloyd Jr. and Charles Chaplin Jr.*
Crow: Along with Fatty Arbuckle Jr., Larry Fine Jr., and Sammy Davis Jr. Jr.!
*Frank is knocking on Silver's door, suddenly an old woman sticks her head and starts rambling. It looks as though she has dreadlocks*
Old Woman: Who's knocking on that door?!
Servo (while laughing): It's Bob Marley!
*On Mel Torme*
Mike: He's like a youthful Jabba The Hutt.
*Mother Superior Veronica exits a car and prepares to walk into a police station*
Veronica: Wait for me, sister.
Crow (as Veronica): If you hear any shooting, drive around the corner and get ready to gun it.
Mike: She has a Mother Superiority complex
*Serafina has been stalking Jimmy, a singer with a few hits. Mother Veronica tries to convince her that she's not truly in love with Jimmy*
Jimmy: You do as Mother Veronica tells you, alright?
Serafina: Yes, yes I will!
Mike (as Serafina): That means we're married now, right?
*Same scene*
Serafina: Does that mean you're tell the other girls we're not friends?
Jimmy: We've been friends for years.
Servo: Yeah, that's healthy.
*Chips father, talks to the Police Chief that was handling the Stefania situation. Silver comes in*
Chip's Father: I don't see what my son saw in you...
Crow (as Silver): Do THESE explain anything?
*Silver and Mother Veronica wander around the Girls Town building*
Silver: Who's that?
Crow: Some guy, he's supposed to be good for you.
Veronia: Saint Jude, the patron saint of good causes. If there's something you want that seems impossible, he can supercede for you.
Silver: I stopped believing in Santa Claus years ago.
Crow: No Lupita!
*Mother Veronia introduces Serafina and Silver*
Crow: Hi. I love you. Are we married now?
*We get a shot of two nuns sitting on a couch*
Crow (as Nun #1): Catch the game last night?
Servo (as Nun #2): I sure did. I lost fifty bucks!
Crow (Nun 1): But you had the point spread.
Servo (Nun 2): Oh, Aikman slips out of the pocket and he's a cupcake.
Crow (Nun 1): Aikman can go to... places.
*Fred is munching on a burger at a local diner, and sees Silver in the car with a detective that Chip's dad hired to get a confession out of her. Between the cars is another car with a man with a thin mustache in it*
Crow: It's John Waters!
*Jimmy comes to Girls Town to sing for them like he promised Serafina. However, he decides to dance with another woman, which angers Serafina*
Mike (as Serafina): How can you dance with another woman on our honeymoon?!
*We got a drag race between Silver's boyfriend, and Fred. Silver's Boyfriend dies in a wreck. Dick Contino, who played Silver's boyfriend, is famous for another MST3K episode*
Servo: So, who'll play Daddy-O now?
*Jimmy and Silver share a scene about Serafina. Jimmy acts like he had a tough time growing up, even though Jimmy's actor really doesn't portray it well*
Mike (as Jimmy): You see, I have a lot of "the street" in me...
*We get a shot of a shoreline*
Servo: Tom Stewart killed me!
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Season Six Episode Two: Invasion USA w/short A Date With Your Family Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Joel Robinson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV's Frank
Plot Synopsis (short): The short covers the basics for how to ensure you and your family have a pleasant and formal 1950's style family dinner. In other words, how to best repress your emotions and ensure a hollow and lifeless social interaction.
Plot Synopsis (movie): News of Cold War tensions on the TV, a reporter comes in to ask the patrons of a local watering hole if they support allowing the U.S. government to take over companies in the name of the cold war effort. Most of the patrons are skeptical except for a strange man nursing a wine glass at the end of the bar . After mesmerizing his audience with his speech before leaving, the patrons quickly discover that the U.S. is now in the middle of World War III, as the "Enemy" conducts an audacious plan to invade the North American mainland, with both nukes and paratroopers flying freely. The main characters try to do what they can, but somehow every request of the military-industrial complex that they'd been complaining about or ignoring comes back to bite the U.S. at the worst possible time, and the cast starts dropping like flies before the Red onslaught.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Channeling his predecessor, Mike builds a robot. The Bots marvel over it, but alas its sole objective is destruction.
Segment One: Mike promises the Bots he won't build anymore robots. Dr. Forrester decides it's science project time, and so Crow must choose between a soft, cuddly Dr. Forrester doll or a stark wire robot mother. TV's Frank is the control group, and is dressed as a pincushion.
Segment Two: Inspired by the short, MatBs presents their own stilted and awkward "family date". It ends in chaos when Gypsy points out how boring things are.
Segment Three: Tom tricks Crow into giving a ridiculously detailed lecture, comparing and contrasting the two actresses who played Lois Lane on the 1950’s TV series The Adventures of Superman.
Segment Four: A game of Jenga is interrupted by a visit from "A. Bomb" on the Hexfield. He’s kinda bummed about the trend toward nuclear disarmament, but Mike cheers him up, which might not be a good thing.
Ending Segment: Tom is convinced that life is but a dream. He insists that Mike hit him with a huge clown hammer. Mike reads a letter from a little girl who tells them, "You’re not missing much on Earth!" On patrol in Deep 13, Frank (thinking he's a US Soldier) points a gun at Dr. Forrester and asks "Who won the World Series?" Dr. Forrester replies, "I did." Befuddled, Frank says, "D’okay".
Stinger: "Extra! Paper! America invaded! Read all about it!"
Review:
The short is undoubtedly one of my favorites of the entire series. It's like taking a glimpse at what the average 50's nuclear family was supposed to be like, and realizing that there is NO way people lived like that. The entire short is almost quotable word for riff. I'd very highly recommend that you watch it.
The movie on the other hand, is okay. It does suffer from the fact that it has more stock footage of World War II than Invasion of the Neptune Men, minus the Hitler Building, of course. Believe me when I say the short is the real highlight of this episode. The movie is funny, and the host segments are pretty good, but the short is the true highlight here. 8/10
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