The departure of Frank (as I stated yesterday) is a bigger change to the show than just losing another writer (and on-air character). I believe I noted that Frank was responsible (or the main person responsible) for choosing the movies that were screened by the writers for potential choosing to be an episode. Mary Jo Pehl (Pearl Forrester) was also involved in this process, though I don't know if she choose any before season five. With Frank gone, Mary Jo would be the main person in charge of looking for the bad movies. How well will she do? We'll find out soon enough.
Six seems to be the season of shorts, as twelve episodes includes a short subject (or two). Most of them are extremely hilarious and should be watched on their own. A few shorts fall flat, but it's hard for the negatives to outweigh the positives. I guess it is fitting though this is the season of the shorts, since this is the final season where shorts would be included with a decent percentage of the movies sent up to the SoL. They will be missed as much as Frank.
Of course, this was the final twenty-four episode season of MST3K. The show that was originally Comedy Channel's premier series (and the show Comedy Central ran on their first day as Comedy Central) During this season, Doug Herzog was made President of Comedy Central over former Robert Kreek. At first, Best Brains Inc. breathed a sigh of relief with the change of management and sent the new president gifts as a peace offering, but things soon turned sour when it was announced the seventh season of MST3K would only be six episodes long. This would just be the first of many problems for Comedy Central's former flagship show.
Here are the rankings for season six: Zombie Nightmare 10/10 The Violent Years w/short Young Man's Fancy 10/10 Sword and the Dragon 10/10 Red Zone Cuba w/short Speech: Platform Posture and Appearance 10/10 Girls Town 9.5/10 The Skydivers w/short Why Study the Industrial Arts? 9.5/10 The Sinister Urge w/short Keeping Clean and Neat 9/10 Kitten with a Whip 9/10 Beast of Yucca Flats w/shorts Money Talks and Progress Island USA. 9/10 Colossus and the Headhunters 8.5/10 The Starfighters 8.5/10 Invasion USA w/short A Date With Your Family 8/10 San Francisco International 8/10 Bloodlust w/short Uncle Jim's Dairy Farm 8/10 The Racket Girls w/ short Are You Ready for Marriage? 8/10 The Amazing Transparent Man w/short Days of Our Years 8/10 Last of the Wild Horses 7.5/10 Danger! Death Ray 7.5/10 Samson vs. The Vampire Women 7.5/10 The Creeping Terror 7/10 High School Big Shot w/short Out of this World 7/10 Code Name: Diamond Head w/short A Day at the Fair 6.5/10 Angels Revenge 6/10 The Dead Talk Back w/short The Selling Wizard 5/10
Season Averages:
Season Three: 8.3/10 Season Five (Joel): 8.3/10 Season Six: 8.2/10 Season Four: 7.6/10 Season Two: 7.5/10 Season One: 5.7/10
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Season Seven Episode One: Night of the Blood Beast w/short Once Upon a Honeymoon (Turkey Day Version) Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Pearl Forrester
Plot Synopsis (Short): A songwriter's wife is frustrated about not having sex with her husband for a year after marriage. After Wilmer the Angel sprinkles angel dust on her, she goes on a crazy drug fueled trip and fantasizes about new home decor with matching colored phones.
Plot Synopsis: An astronaut returns from space, dead. The base that recovered him (staffed by three men called Steve, one called Dave, and a lady Doctor (or is that Doctor Lady?)) is then cut off from the outside world by an alien. The revival of the dead astronaut, the death of a scientist, and the discovery of alien embryos inside the resurrected astronaut's body bodes ill for the survival of those trapped at the base and for the rest of humanity.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Happy Thanksgiving! Did you see the game? Of course, MatBs don't make it obvious about what game it is.
Segment One: Dr. Forrester’s Thanksgiving party continues, and it's pretty swinging. Dr. F introduces Pearl to the crew, but it turns out she somehow already knows Crow as "Art". He's forgotten to get a movie to show MatBs as that was Frank's job; fortunately, Pearl has one. Kitten with a Whip went in the tulips.
Segment Two: The bots put on a skit to explain to Mike why stuffing is superior to potatoes. Stuffing has pulled children from burning buildings while potatoes watched helplessly as innocents were beaten to death! Mike's revelation that both would be served is met favorably by the Bots.
Segment Three: Everyone in Deep 13 gathers around to hear Michael Feinstein play. Pearl takes a break from the festivities to chat amiably with "Art" for awhile. Crow suggests she should kill Clay. Alas, she is no more prone to pushing the "bring down the SOL button" than Frank was. Mr. B Natural and a drunk Jack Perkins smooch.
Segment Four: It's time for Thanksgiving dinner on the SOL and after the hymn, the crew finds Crow has disappeared. Turns out he slipped into Deep 13's dinner instead. Each party member goes around the table and gives thanks to God. Pearl thanks Him for Clayton...kind of. Clayton is thankful for his mom and his evilness. Kitten With a Whip left a surprise in the peas. Crow wants Stuffing over Potatos. Pitch is grateful for his new clients (The cast of Friends), Mr. B Natural is thankful for the spirit of music (everyone tells her to shut it.) Drunk Jack Perkins wakes up long enough to announce that he and Mr. B are engaged.
Ending Segment: The Bots present their skit on Mincemeat vs. Pumpkin. They are slightly biased against mincemeat. In the meantime, Pearl’s "turkey surprise" has incapacitated all of Dr. F's party guests, except for a sobered-up Jack Perkins, who helps the Mads wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.
Stinger: "A wounded animal that large isn't good..."
Review:
Unlike the ultra bizarre Mr. B Natural, or Out of This World, you really have NO idea what they are trying to sell. Even Mike and the Bots are baffled by what the hell was going on in that short. I assume that if you pay close enough attention, it looks like telephones, but they went about it in the strangest way possible. LSD had to be involved in the making of this short.
A Roger Corman flick (sorta, he only produced it, his brother Gene helped produce and came up with the story.) It's a bad film with lots of Steves, an astronaut with alien babies in him, and NASA having a smaller budget than public television. The plot isn't THAT bad, it's just terribly executed.
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Review (cont.): The riffing on both the short and movie is absolutely hilarious. The short is bizarre, and hilarious, and the movie is ripe for riffing. Overall, this is a pretty damn good episode that starts off Season Seven. 10/10
Other Notes:
As the host segments should tell you, this episode debuted during Turkey Day '95, though this same episode also has "regular" host segments that was used during regular rerun schedule (despite that, the special Turkey Day episode was rebroadcast a second time some months later.)
Turkey Day '95 is important for a few reasons. One, it was the final official Turkey Day during MST3K's run, and Best Brains accepted the minuscule budget Comedy Central gave them and actually produced host segments that year, as a sign of good faith in the new president. Despite that, this is the shortest of the Turkey Day marathons, only showing seven episodes and special Poopie Parade of Values instead of the usual entire weekend of episodes shown during the special.
Another thing that irked Best Brains Inc. is Comedy Central's plan to show Season One episodes again. This is important because several years earlier, both sides informally agreed that they wouldn't show the episodes because Best Brains felt they were inferior to the later seasons. Eventually a compromise was made: They would show a few of the season one episodes (The Crawling Hand, Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy, Robot Monster, and The Corpse Vanishes) the last three would be added to the midnight airings, while The Crawling Hand was the first movie shown during Turkey Day '95.
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Season Seven Episode Two: The Brute Man w/short The Chicken of Tomorrow Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Pearl Forrester
Plot Synopsis (Short): We learn what is being done today to create the Chicken of Tomorrow. With a side mention of just how gosh darn important gas stations and oil are to the poultry industry.
Plot Synopsis (Movie): Hal Moffat is taking wholesale revenge by murdering those he holds responsible for his disfigurement. He's befriended by Helen Paige (Adams), a blind piano teacher. He develops a warmth for her that leads him to add thievery and robbery to his murders so she can be provided with the money for an operation to restore her sight.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Tom has become heavily involved in real estate, buying a duplex in Philadelphia with his agent Sherrie. He is convinced he needs no money to actually buy one.
Segment One: Dr. Forrester is sewing a pig head onto a fish. Pearl is going out on a date with the oily Sandy and puts Art in charge. Everyone else is somewhat dismayed, especially after Crow takes his power too seriously.
Segment Two: Tom is inside an egg so that he and Crow can make an educational film. Mike decides that he will miss Tom too much over his twenty-one day gestation period, and attempts to remove him from the shell; instead, he slips and Tom ends up all over the floor.
Segment Three: Mike calls his old girlfriend Carla and tries to get her to help him escape, but she puts her little boy Matthew on the phone. Then Tom makes Matthew hang up because he's expecting a call from Sherrie.
Segment Four: Crow wants Mike and Tom to help him sing "The Crimes of Tom Dooley", except they will substitute Republican presidential candidate Tom Dewey because a character in the film vaguely resembles Dewey. Mike and Tom aren't that into it.
Ending Segment: Tom closes on his duplex and ends up being the worst landlord ever as Mike reads letters. In Deep 13, Dr. F turns Pearl’s date into a chicken of tomorrow.
Stinger: The crotchety grocer says, "Creeper, Creeper, Creeper! YOU give ME the creeps!"
Review:
As educational shorts go, you can do far worse. It is normal enough that it could be useful without the riffs, but it's got enough silliness that it makes for a pretty decent short.
A B-Movie that exploits the lead actor's disfigurement and disease to make a movie? A disease that literally killed him BEFORE the movie was finally released? Why, what could POSSIBLY be wrong about today's movie? Aside from that, the movie isn't actually that bad. While it is pretty dull at times, there's some moments of unintentional hilarity (The scene with the shopkeeper and his abusiveness toward his delivery boy, for example) as well as moments where you do feel for the Creeper Hal. Might have to do with the realtiy subtext going on.
The riffing for the short was good, though there are better shorts. Kind of a shame this is the final short I'll watch till Season Nine. Oh well, more on that when we cross that bridge. The movie's riffing is pretty hilarious as well, though at times there are moments where the riffing is a bit tough. The host segments are pretty funny, with most of the lulz coming from the prologue and segment one. Overall, this is a pretty good episode. 8.5/10
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Season Seven Episode Three: Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Pearl Forrester
Plot Synopsis: Dashing Deathstalker is entrusted by the beautiful Princess Carissa to protect an enchanted Jewel one of three which together hold the key to the lost city of treasure, Erendor. The missing pair of gems are stashed all too safely in the heavily guarded castle of the wicked Troxartes. His mission clear, Deathstalker rouses his troops and storms the fortress with the power of lightning. And in this fateful battle, one man will survive to witness the magical secrets of Erendor.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Mike introduces Tom and the Satellite of Love as we wait for Crow to show up. Crow has a new lease on life as he has traded in his lacrosse mask for a toupee.
Segment One: Dr. Forrester is accosted by his mother who has a parasite and is begging for attention. The robots egg him on by pretending to work for a McDonald's wannabe fast-food burger joint.
Segment Two: The Bots throw a Renaissance Fest for Mike and fleece him for all he's got. Mike loves every second of it because he had never been to one on Earth.
Segment Three: Mike comes back for more, but the bots have lost interest. They do humor him a little, but in the end they all try to go and pet the dead camel.
Segment Four: Dr. Forrester goes to the store to get Mother some Robitussin and she is in need of entertainment. Crow/Art happens to be walking by the view screen when he is nabbed to read Love's Sweet Throbbing Gondola.
Ending Segment: Mike reads a letter and Tom eventually succeeds at hammering out a new Great Ring of Power, a la Lord of the Rings. We jump cut to Dr. F walking a glass of tainted milk out to mother. At the last second, Clay turns on himself and chugs sweet freedom from Mom.
Stinger: Trashy Chick's mother saying, "Potatoes are what we eat!"
Review:
Usually, when a sequel to a movie is shown on MST3K (and Best Brains Inc. didn't feature the original movie/sequel to it) the movie usually has some backstory as to what the hell is going on. This doesn't. Really, the first half hour or so of today's flick is filled with moments and dialogue that talk about what the Deathstalker did in his previous movies, but we don't see any of it. I can only assume that had Season Seven been a bit longer, we would have seen the entire four movie series. Not that I would want to, mind you.
Compared to Cave Dwellers or Outlaw of Gor, this movie just really doesn't have the same amount of lulz going for it. Cave Dwellers had Ator, who could do everything and make anything (including present day hang gliders.) Outlaw of Gor had Watney the scrappy and Jack Palance going for it. This? Nothing. Deathstalker is a pretty dull sword and sorcery movie, with a big bad that's about 5'8" and less scary than a litter of week old kittens, a hero that is a complete tool, and a group of warriors with a leader that has batwings on his helmet.. As Mike said, this is one of the ambitiously bad movies they ever watched.
Of course, Mike and the Bots deliver plenty of great riffs throughout this suckfest, though not enough to make this one of their better movies. While there are plenty of good riffs toward Batwing man, potato woman, and the miscast hero and villian, nothing really stands out as a highly memorable riff to me. Not only that, but the host segments with a sick Pearl aren't exactly something I'd be too proud of (though the final segment where Dr. F drinks the tainted milk WAS hilarious) Overall, this is a good episode, just not great. 7.5/10
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Season Seven Episode Four: The Incredible Melting Man Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Pearl Forrester
Plot Synopsis:Three astronauts are exposed to a blast of radiation which kills two of them and seriously injures the third, Steve West. He is next shown unconscious in a hospital back on Earth, with bandages covering his face; his physician, Dr. Loring, cannot explain what is happening to West or how he survived the blast. West awakens and is horrified to find the flesh on his face and hands melting away. Hysterical, he attacks and kills a nurse, then escapes the hospital in a panic. Loring and Dr. Ted Nelson, discover that the nurse's corpse is emitting feeble radiation, and realize West's body has become radioactive. Nelson must save his friend before he's a puddle or goo (or kills everyone.) Think Monster A-Go Go, only the monster was real.
Host Segments:
Prologue: MatBs play a little baseball. Crow, the umpire, says, "Hiyreah!" repeatedly, and Mike keeps getting hit by balls thrown by Servo.
Segment One: Crow's Earth vs. Soup screenplay is being made into a movie, with Dr. F and Pearl in charge of the money. Crow says he will stand by his script, but he folds like a card table at Pearl's demands. He ends up with 800 bucks to make the movie, and he has to hire Kevin Bacon.
Segment Two: Dr. F and Pearl take a very expensive (and very pointless) shuttle ride to the SOL for a script conference. Mike tears the centers out of bagels at Crow's command; Crow leaves for Pellegrinos and the conference goes on without him. Lost of confusion abounds with the revisions.
Segment Three: Crow directs his movie, which features Mike as Kevin Bacon and Gypsy as his love interest. Judy (actually Servo) helps as the assistant director. Crow gets two takes of the only scene before Movie Sign because he is so carried away with his new director's scarf.
Segment Four: Dr. F leads a focus group for Earth vs. Soup: The Movie. None of them liked the film; they didn't like the plot, it was too short, and it should have been potato soup.
Ending Segment: Upon learning the fate of his movie, Crow flips out: "I come to you with a movie, you supposedly get me $30 million to make it, you take 29.5 million for yourself, I get a lousy $800, I don't get any credit, and my movie's released as a trailer!?!"
Stinger: Dr. Ted Nelson’s weird old mother-in-law says, "Let’s get the hell out of here!"
Review:
The movie is pretty damn bizarre, with an assortment of bland characters, dull surprises, narm, and fridge logic. I'm almost convinced that the director, angry at the executives for wanting it to go from parody to regular, decided to make this movie bad purposely. How else can you explain this movie? To the movie's credit, the melting man's makeup is very well done (made by Rick Baker, who went on to have a nice career as a makeup artist.)
I laughed a good deal during today's experiment. Though, it is hard to say if the riffing of the movie or the actual narm would be the reason why. The movie has so many out there bizarre moments that it almost works as a parody itself. Overall, I'd say this is a good episode, though don't eat anything while watching it. ACHKA! 8.5/10
Other Notes:
If it wasn't obvious, the host segments are based around MST3K: The Movie and all the problems Best Brains Inc. had making the movie. I believe that what some of the execs said were taken word for word and put into this episode (not that they would know). To say they were a bit... bitter about the whole experience would be an understatement. I guess Joel was right, after all.
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Season Seven Episode Five: Escape 2000 Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Pearl Forrester
Plot Synopsis: Corporate-controlled death squads roam the wasteland that was once the Bronx in search of members of a rebel alliance of street gangs, all while putting up a front that they are getting everyone to Leave the Bronx for New Mexico and making the Bronx a better place to live.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Crow holds his annual auction to help the Really Good Cause, which he is not sure of. His first item? A penny. His second item is a nickel and his third item is a dollar.
Segment One: Crow accidentally lights the SOL on fire while trying to burn an ant with a magnifying glass near a pile of oily rags. Luckily, Gypsy takes care of everything. Meanwhile, Dr. F is forced to put his mother Pearl into a home. As in, locked in a little playhouse in the main room of Deep 13.
Segment Two: Mike sets up Crow with his biofeedback machine, giving Crow a nice warm feeling. As Crow continues to relax, several small fires start across the ship.
Segment Three: Mike plays the big boss, nearly choking Servo with cigar smoke. Crow doesn't understand all of the slang terms for getting Mike another beer.
Segment Four: Servo recovers from his smoking jag as the Mads call. Dr. Forrester has determined the ratings are too low, and so he introduces Timmy Bobby Rusty, who disturbs the crew. Alas, the ratings remain low, so Timmy Bobby Rusty is promptly dropped.
Ending Segment: Tom lowers himself from a helicopter as Mike reads a letter. In Deep 13, Toblerone's laughter disturbs Dr. F. He comes over to yell at Clayton after the mad scientist complains and rescues Pearl from her home.
Stinger: Dablone spits and laughs.
Review:
Think Escape from New York, only without Kurt Russell, made in Italy, explosions to be had, slow-mo jumping deaths, and with a large ham supporting character that would've been better as the lead. Aside from Dablone/Toblerone, the movie is just pretty dull with two somewhat evil sides trying to control of the Bronx.. or Italy, or whatever. Toblerone pretty much makes the few brief moments he's around awesome, while everything sorta peters off when he isn't on screen, and when he disappears/dies in the cut material near the end of the movie. He's no Torgo, but he's fun to watch.
Good riffing, with some nice host segments. The whole Timmy Bobby Rusty bit is a nice dig at how Cousin Oliver characters never work. It was around this point Best Brains Inc. were notifed the series was canceled, so that might explain that segment? Seems like a good theory. Good episode overall. 8.5/10
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Season Seven Episode Six: Laserblast Network: Comedy Central Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Dr. Clayton Forrester and Pearl Forrester
Plot Synopsis: Alien creatures kill a mutated alien creature in the California desert. Its remains, and the high-tech laser gun and power source accidentally left behind, are found by ostracized teenager Billy. However, the power source causes the teenager to mutate, too, and he goes on a murderous rampage. Eventually, the first aliens return to kill him as well, and then forget to take the gun again.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Against Mike's will, Crow and Tom present the subtile nuances of The Thunderdome Joke.
Segment One: Dr. Forrester's funding has been cut, so he disconnects the Umbilicus, setting the SOL loose. He's moving out of Deep 13 with help from Pearl. Gypsy and Tom manage to fix the ship so they have thrusters, but no control. They drift out of Earth's orbit and begin to head into deep space.
Segment Two: MatBs are visited by Monad, an annoying robot relative of Nomad. He is taunted and confused by them, and so Mike is able to boot Monad out of the airlock with no problem
Segment Three: The SOL hits a field of star babies - and one of them needs a diaper change. Mike plays Ground Control ala Apollo 13 as Servo and Crow go out into space to get the little...er, big one taken care of.
Segment Four: With the SOL heading toward a black hole, Mike takes charge the only way he can: he becomes Captain Kathryn Janeway. It works, but it ends in a very weird manner.
Ending Segment: The SOL reaches the edge of the universe and the crew transform themselves into noncorporeal beings of pure energy. In Deep 13, Dr. F becomes unstuck in time, has a revelation and is reborn in a sequence that pays tribute to the final sequence in 2001, right down to the broken goblet. Pearl rejoices at her second chance to raise him right, but Dr. F's only response? "Oh, poopie."
Stinger: The freaky hippie dude says, "Faaar out!"
Review:
I guess the movie followed the lead of Star Wars (which Laserblast was happy to reference by.. having Billy blow up a billboard for the movie) but it looks far worse than Star Wars ever did. The film quality isn't too hot, the lead actor isn't appealing, and who thought it was a good idea to show cops getting high for no reason? To it's credit, the aliens look well made, and the makeup isn't that bad either. Too bad it doesnt' make up for the rest of the mess.
Liked the riffing, though it wasn't top notch. There were several callbacks thrown out there, so I can't complain about that. The only real problem I have is that this really doesn't feel like a series finale. The movie, while ripe for riffing, isn't what I'd picture they would do for what they thought would be their final episode (hell, the real series finale feels better as a series finale than this, but I'll get to that when I'm at it.)
As for the host segments, I understand that they didn't want to end it like they would do for season 10, but they could've done something a bit better than having Mike and the Bots become beings of pure energy and Dr. F becoming a star child, couldn't they? Eh, I guess it works well for what it is now (season finale) than it's intended use. Alright episode and a nice watch, but a strange end for season seven. 8/10
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It still baffles me that they possibly thought Laserblast would be a serious contender against Star Wars.
Obviously, this was MST3K's final season on Comedy Central, and by the end of that year (1996) all reruns had been taken off the air. Not surprising, considering Comedy Central has done everything in their power to retroactively act like MST3K wasn't the franchise that put them on the map (though I guess the fact that they the rights to air most of the season was another reason they didn't want reruns on the network.)
For several months, it wasn't sure what would happen to MST3K. Fan support on the Internet eventually got the Sci-Fi Channel to finally agree to pick up the series - for a price. For one thing, Sci-Fi wanted nothing BUT movies that they considered "Science Fiction", which pretty much killed off shorts or regularly bad movies, at least for season eight. Secondly, they wanted the show to have a storyline, which is rather perplexing to have for a puppet show, don't you think? Finally, they couldn't rerun any episodes from the first seven seasons. As I mentioned earlier, the rights to air most of those episodes was severely limited to begin with, but it was a pretty tough pill to swallow.
Best Brains Inc. agreed to all these requirements, and were picked up for a twenty-two episode season that would run throughout 1997. Fans rejoiced, as their show would be back on TV... but there was one person not coming along for the ride: Trace Beaulieu. Now, I don't know why Trace left, but it wasn't on bad terms or anything. I can only assume he left due to him thinking the show may either not have been picked up for another season, or he was burned out from the series. Whatever the reason, I can't find it on the internet.
With Trace's departure, people weren't sure how anyone could portray Crow like he did. How could they? Unlike Tom Servo, there were seven+ seasons before the change. When it was announced newcomer Bill Corbett would be the new Crow, many fans were skeptical. Would he do well? We'll find out soon enough.
Here are the rankings for season seven: Night of the Blood Beast w/short Once Upon a Honeymoon 10/10 The Brute Man w/short The Chicken of Tomorrow 8.5/10 The Incredible Melting Man8.5/10 Escape 2000 8.5/10 Laserblast 8/10 Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell 7.5/10
Season Averages:
Season Seven: 8.5/10 Season Three: 8.3/10 Season Five (Joel): 8.3/10 Season Six: 8.2/10 Season Four: 7.6/10 Season Two: 7.5/10 Season One: 5.7/10
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Season Eight Episode One: Revenge of the Creature Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo and Dr. Peanut
Plot Synopsis: The sequel to Creature from the Black Lagoon. this time he's captured by scientists and transported to an aquarium in south Florida. Naturally, he's attracted to the lovely female scientist and manages to escape and kidnap her.
Host Segments:
Prologue: After 500 years, of being pure energy, at the end of the universe, Mike, Tom, Gypsy, Cambot, and Magic Voice are forcibly teleported to the SOL. Crow is already there, after being bored of being pure energy after the first 5 minutes, but he seems different somehow, and he doesn't remember Mike. Suddenly, the SOL is about to crash into the Earth. Mike is able to avoid a collision, but horror awaits when Mike and the bots contact Earth, and a talking ape answers!!!
Segment One: After lots of screaming, Professor Bobo and Dr. Peanut explain that Earth is "a planet where apes evolved from men". Bobo then sends a bad movie to the SOL crew because, oddly enough, it's "Ape Law".
Segment Two: Tom and Mike try to repair the SOL’s engines with a little help from the Nanites. Crow still seems different somehow, and Mike can't let it go.
Segment Three: An angry Star Wars-esque alien demands to speak to Servo, who has been dealing contraband vanilla pudding.
Segment Four: Crow may be different, but at least he knows how to make a nice cup of espresso.
Ending Segment: The bots have tracked down information of Mike’s descendants, and they learn that virtually all of Mike's decendants intermarried with apes, despite Mike's fruitless pleas, to deny it. Then they learn who The Lawgiver is - Pearl Forrester! She reveals that she never got around to raising Clayton Forrester (after his transformation into a baby in the previous episode) better than last time, smothered him with a pillow, and had herself cryogenically frozen.
Stinger: John Agar swims softly and carries a big bull prod.
Review:
The sequel to classic Creature of the Black Lagoon, Revenge of the Creature is the Jaws 2 (or 3, or Revenge) of 1950's cinema. The original stands on it's own rather well, but execs wanted a sequel and so.. we get this. To be fair, it's not the worst monster movie shown on MST3K, but it's not that great either.
Bill Corbett (the new voice of Crow) seemed to have been a natural riffer and did a very well job of replacing Trace (though it would take a few episodes for him to get used to controlling the puppet.) The riffing for the movie was alright, though a little weak for a season premier/channel hop. I guess the writers were a bit rusty? In any case, the first episode for the Sci-Fi Era is an alright episode, and they did a good way to explain the changes from season to season. 8.5/10
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Season Eight Episode Two: The Leech Woman Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Dr. Peanut
Plot Synopsis: Dr. Paul Talbot and his aged wife June go to Africa to find an eternal youth potion that Paul was told about by an 140 year old African woman. After finding the tribe, June is able to have Paul killed, uses his pineal hormones to become young again. She travels back to the US where she uses her new charms to keep killing men (due to the potion only being temporary) and uses her charm on Pauls former nurse Sally's boyfriend Neil.
Host Segments:
Prologue: The Bots discover an infestation of prairie dogs and use a special vaccum to catch them. Mike is disbelieving until Servo rounds up a herd.
Segment One: Crow still can't remember Mike, much less the prairie dogs he sucked up. Bobo asks Mike some questions, until Dr. Peanut wears a diaper and roller skates around Deep Ape. After MatBs egg him on, Professor Bobo and the other apes eventually succumb to diapers and tutus, much to the disgust of The Lawgiver.
Segment Two: The Satellite is still broken, so the gang appeals to the Nanites. They're on strike, at least until the strike is broken by a Nanite tank that squishes their union leader.
Segment Three: Pearl is enjoying some leisure time until Bobo interrupts to point out she hasn't made any laws. Pearl decrees there is no parking on Sundays and soup with buffet. Pearl asks for suggestions, from the SOL crew. Tom's laws reveal he was up to some interesting things during his universal travels...
Segment Four: The Bots want Mike to, um, check out their pillory; his contacts save him from the Bots stealing his pineal juices. Mike is strangely unbothered by this. Luckily, Gypsy has that Richard Basehart weakness..
Ending Segment: Servo really, really wants to do his impression of Granny from The Beverly Hillbillies. Mike and Crow suspect Servo just wants to run around yelling "JEEEEEEDDDD!" Tom takes it too far, as always. In Deep Ape, the apes are returning to civilized ways. It works until Peanut finds the diapers again.
Stinger: Detective defeats lawyer with LOGIC!
Review:
Bad film with almost no likable characters. Dr. Paul Talbot's first scene involves him berating his alcoholic wife. His wife goes on to be less likable by repeatedly killing people. Neil cheats on his current girlfriend with June. Sally is the only character you actually feel somewhat bad for, but even then, she gets killed off, so why even bother to feel sorry for her?
The riffing is enjoyable, though the host segments are a bit weak. The whole running gag with Tom Servo wanting to be like the grandmother from Beverly Hillbillies is pretty funny. This isn't the first time Tom Servo has made reference to the show (as he sung a parody of the opening theme during Mad Monster WAY back in Season One) so I guess he just wanted to do more references to the series then? Anyways, this is another decent showing for the Sci-Fi's first season. 8/10
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Season Eight Episode Three: The Mole People Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Dr. Peanut
Plot Synopsis: Three archeologists accidentally discover an underground civilization where survivalists enslave tortured, mutant Mole Men and sacrifice beautiful women to enforce population control. When the mutants revolt, the humans must escape.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Crow’s kooky novelty eyes make him a “Space Child”
Segment One: Space Child Crow is overthrown. Bobo suffers through the 32nd Annual Lawgiver Daze. Tom offers baked goods and Crow takes a fall from his mile-high pie
Segment Two: Mike pretends to be the goofy gesture professor calling on the Hexfield. Crow and Tom won’t allow it
Segment Three: Tom tries and fails to play the guitar and sing a ballad about what he’s been up to for the past five thousand years or so
Segment Four: Crow the archeologist, searching for evidence of a previous Crow, has a breakthrough, and suddenly remembers Mike
Ending Segment: Crow believes there’s life beneath the floorboards of the SOL . . . and he’s right. On Earth, the Lawgiver is presented with a hunky gift, Minnesota Vikings running back Robert Smith
Stinger: Nestor “The Load” Paiva reaches his limit.
Review:
When a movie starts with a professor basically stating that the following movie is more or less ficitional, you know you're in for a bad ride. It gets even worse when you see pointless padding, a character that is practically a load to the others, and Hugh Beaumont climbing... a... mountain... AAAAHHH! ROCK CLIMBING! ROCK CLIMBING! ROCK CLIMBING! Oh god. How on Earth could they give me that exact same mixture again? At least it didn't take twenty damn minutes to get through. This time. The movie has a weak plot and flat characters, with very few redeeming features. Not to mention that Executive Meddling killed the female lead, simply because she wasn't white enough.
The riffing was enjoyable and had quite a few laugh out loud moments. Mike and the Bots took special pleasure taking digs at the load, and the point out several padding moments. I'm sort of surprised there wasn't a callback to the Lost Continent (ROCK CLIMBING!), but you can't always get what you want, eh? The host segments were pretty funny. Crow falling was entertaining, as was the fact that he now remembers Mike. If I was a Vikings fan, I think I'd appreciate seeing Robert Smith. Packers > Vikings. Good episode overall. 8/10
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Season Seven Episode Four: The Deadly Mantis Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Dr. Peanut
Plot Synopsis: After the titular insect has attacked several people in a remote Arctic region, Col. Joe Parkham swings into action. Parkham and his associates, Dr. Ned Jackson and Ned's assistant Margie Blake, track the predatory mantis as it heads southward to Washington, DC. The green monstrosity meets its Waterloo in the "Manhattan Tunnel," where it's bombarded with poison gas.
Host Segments:
Prologue: It's business casual day on the Satellite of Love. Tom makes up useless dress codes and implies that Mike is breaking them. Mike counters that they're not a business so the entire exercise is foolish.
Segment One: The Apes are helping theirs friends from reactivate the nuclear warhead that they worship. Mike's suggestion sets them on the right track and they repair the bomb. Pearl flees. Mike begs the nanites to repair the SoL and only finds one on duty. The lone nanite refuses finds a work order, and repairs the SOL so rapidly Mike doesn't notice the control panel that instantly sprung up on the table in front of him. He steers the satellite to a safe distance seconds before the bomb detonates.
Segment Two: Tom performs a eulogy for Pearl and the other inhabitants of the planet Earth. Pearl turns out to be alive, and in her van, The Widowmaker, shooting the Satellite of Love. Pearl discovers that Bobo has stowed away on her space van. She hands him a gun but Bobo only manages to shoot himself in the foot, twice. Gypsy takes control of the ship and evades Pearl by hiding behind an asteroid.
Segment Three: Mike dozes off at the wheel of the SoL. He and the bots (with the exception of Crow who just mainly sleeps it off) try to stay awake by listening to the space radio. All the channels they can pick up only play space country and western music, much to everyone's annoyance. Apparently Radio Frank is still alive and strong.
Segment Four: Tom tries steering the satellite. He accidentally hits a space creature. Crow goes to check on the blue, blob-like creature and brings it inside. The creature proceeds to eat Crow. After several failed rescue attempts Mike gets the creature to regurgitate Crow, though he comes out partially digested.
Ending Segment: Crow serves Mike and Tom a mysterious meatloaf which turns out to be the creature that ate Crow in the last segment. Mike receives a letter from Dr. Peanut who was blasted back to the 22nd century somehow. Dr. Peanut is dating someone who may be Mike's future great granddaughter. Pearl calls to swear she will never give up her pursuit of Mike and the SOL.
Stinger: Horny Soldier: "She's like a butterfly flying across the lily pond!"
Review:
Unlike most every other B-movie monster flick, the monster isn't due to atomic radiation, but rather is a pre-historic creature brought to life from.. well, I'm not entirely sure what brought it to life. In a way, this movie is like five parts Starfighters, one part Radar Secret Service, and a helping of 50's monster movie. I don't know why so many movies used so much Air Force stock footage or had a hard on for radars, but it really doesn't make for good movies.
The riffing is what you expect from this s*** slurry: funny, but nothing truly memorable. While there are some good laughs and clever lines, there isn't really any one line that I'd expect to hear in a later episode. The host segments were good, and it showed us the first planet Mike Nelson will destroy (though not the last.) Overall this was an above average episode. 7/10
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Season Eight Episode Five: The Thing That Couldn't Die Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and The Observers
Plot Synopsis: A young woman plays with a divining rod and ends up finding much more than water in this horror movie. Instead of the desired liquid, the woman finds a 400-year-old human head, and it's still alive. The horrific creature, seeing that the woman is properly innocent, hypnotizes her into looking for the rest of his body.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Tom Servo unveils his newest art show, "Crow: A Thousand Years of Tyranny". As the name indicates, it's less than flattering. Crow is ironically paying for the whole thing and is a bit concerned about the negativity...until clowns on velvet are mentioned.
Segment One: Servo ignores the clowns in his new painting; kittens in a meat grinder is more suitable for Crow. Then, Gypsy alerts them that the SoL is caught in a tractor beam that drags them to a new planet and creates a temporary Tom Twin. They are now in orbit around the planet of The Observers, which is now also the abode of Pearl and Bobo. The Observers want to observe her experiment and have set their guests up with nice accommodations. The Observers then secretly discuss their plans to dissect and display Pearl and Bobo in their museum.
Segment Two: One of the Observers is now on the SOL to observe in person. He annoys and insults the hell out of them, so they eject him from the ship, sans brain.
Segment Three: The gang plays Risk until they are interrupted by Finnegan, teleported from Mike's memory via the Observers. Except Mike doesn't know the utterly annoying Irish geek, who beats him up. Crow wants Mike to think of Adrienne Barbeau; Mike mishears him and thinks of Roman Emperor Hadrian, who beats him up. He finally thinks of Ms. Barbeau, who, um, beats him up.
Segment Four: Crow debuts his new documentary, Crow T. Robot's Bram Stoker's The Civil War. Per most of Crow's reports and documentaries, his facts are far from straight and the credits are longer than the documentary.
Ending Segment: Servo and Mike plot to scare Crow out of his mind by using Servo's disembodied head. The wig gives way as Mike thrusts the head forward; repairs ensue. Pearl goes to bed, haranguing the Observers and Bobo the whole time.
Stinger: The Observers offer you their brains.
Review:
Sometimes, I wonder if the 50's directors and writers ever did challenges about who could write the best story, much like fanfiction sites do now. I can see the people involved in this and The Brain That Wouldn't Die being part of the same challenge about a disembodied head that could control things and had to find a new body. TBTWD became a sci-fi movie about a man wanting to bring his future wife back from the dead, this is about a 400 year old evil head that wants to be back on it's own body. Both movies though are pretty dull as hell, though this does have a scene with two relatively hot women sleeping in the same bed.
The riffing was really good, very enjoyable. It was funny how Mike and the Bots immediately believed the movie was awesome because of the above scene, though there are other funny lines thrown in here and there. The host segments are pretty funny, and I did enjoy Crow's documentary on the Civil War. Great episode. Probably the best of the first eight episodes. 9/10
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Season Seven Episode Six: The Undead Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and The Observers
Plot Synopsis: A researcher is hypnotized by a streetwalker in an attempt to record her past-life experiences as a condemned witch in the Dark Ages. After numerous silly attempts by Garland to save her -- including regressing himself into the same period, talking to Satan, and demonstrating that one's wristwatch comes along through time-regression even if clothes don't -- Duncan decides not to alter the course of history and resigns herself to her fate.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Mike attempts to bring the viewing audience up to speed on the show's current plot. The Bots, though, keep askinghim to go further back. Mike ends up bitterly recalling a temp job he once had.
Segment One: The Observers send everyone intelligence tests to determine their fates. Professor Bobo is less intelligent than most mollusks, leading him to prove his intellect by stacking boxes. Crow sleeps through the test, Mike is still stuck in the past, Gypsy does moderately well, and Tom Servo turns out to be smarter than Observer... er, Brain Guy. His brain gets to go to the Enrichment Chamber.
Segment Two: Servo is invited to join the Observers. He ends up getting chased and expelled after he forgets to fill out his non-existent forms, can't read Pearl's mind, and steals all the spoons. Hilarity ensues.
Segment Three: Lydia, the witch from the movie, appears by accident. She can't control her powers, but tries to conquer the Satellite anyway. She ends up stuck in the form of a bottle of bleach.
Segment Four: Mike gets Digger Smolken's cover album. He takes popular songs and replaces the words with "rat", "corpse", "filth", and other death references. He has a nice straight cover of "Greensleeves", though.
Ending Segment: Crow is a creepy imp while Mike helps Tom expresses his outrage over the fact that Leonard Maltin rated The Undead three stars. Meanwhile, Bobo makes a nice sandwich with rye, lettuce, tomato, a little mayonnaise, and, courtesy of the Enrichment Chamber, Observer's Brain.
Stinger: The Observers offer you their brains...again.
Review:
Another Roger Corman film. It's been a while since we've seen one, hasn't it? This is a relatively dull flick that somehow got three out of four stars from Leonald Malton (wow, the second dig at him in ten episodes.) Apparently he gave it such a high rating because of all the fanservice. Really, that has to be the reason. This is one bad film with less historical accuracy than Crow's Civil War documentary.
The riffing is alright though it could've been better, though I did like the Lord of the Rings and Monty Python references. The host segments are pretty entertaining, though. Also, this is the second riffed film to feature Ben Franklin (technically, the first one, a short, was his shadow, this is just a buts of Franklin.) Alright episode, but I was expecting a bit more. 6.5/10
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Season Eight Episode Seven: Terror from the Year 5000 Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and The Observers
Plot Synopsis: On a remote island near Florida, scientist Howard Erling uses an elaborate time-travel device to trade various artifacts with denizens of the past and future. A woman from the future, the mutated victim of atomic radiation, "trades" her body with that of a nurse, whom she murders. It is the future woman's intention to repopulate the post-apocalyptic world of 5000 AD with uncontaminated children, and to do this she must forcibly take Erling's assistant Victor "back to the future."
Host Segments:
Prologue: Tom Servo orders a coat from a catalog that is comfort-rated. He proceeds to comfort-rate everything on the ship...everything. He eventually admits he has no idea what he's doing.
Segment One: Pearl and Bobo have worn out their welcome, and The Observers make them fight each other to the death before they dissect them. The Satellite of Love crew is too dense to be susceptible to the Observers' mental commands, so they are forced to resort to Charades to communicate.
Segment Two: The Observers reveal that they no longer eat food, but pills. However, the pills have extremely limited nutritional value. Mike makes the pills into a nice parmesan-encrusted pill cakes.
Segment Three: Mike has the Nanites whip up a time machine and uses Crow to test it by sending him to see his family in Wisconsin. Crow spends eleven years there and has a hell of a time, yet forgets to tell the Nelsons anything about Mike's fate. He also hits on Mike's girlfriend, whom he nicknamed "Ginger-SNAP", which hurts Mike so much that he starts crying.
Segment Four: The crew debates yodeling-styles, which is enough to drive the Observers crazy. The Observers respond with music of their own, a sweet little ditty called When I Held Your Brain in My Arms. The SOL crew is impressed.
Ending Segment: Crow brags some more about his exploits with Mike's girlfriend. Mike sets Crow up with a date courtesy of the time machine...the Terror herself. Meanwhile, Pearl defeats Bobo, but refuses to kill him. Her impassioned speech touches the Observers, until Bobo comes back and starts the fight again.
Stinger: The Observers offer you their brains...yet again
Review:
THE TERROR FROM THE YEAR 5000 ... that doesn't show up until about three fourth's of the way through the movie. Hell, before they show up, we just spend a lot of time with characters that aren't interesting at all. Hell, it feels like the director and writers decided to pad the film out by just filming the actors in several locations and doing improv. When the movie FINALLY gets to it, it's not even that interesting. I guess I can see why this movie was shown on MST3K, eh?
The riffing is kinda varied. At times it's pretty hilarious, at other times I kinda chuckle at a clever line, but it's nothing too special. Maybe I just didn't get the riffs. It's not that bad of an episode, but the lack of substance until the last twenty minutes makes me wonder why exactly the called it Terror from the Year 5000 at all. The host segment are about on the same level as most host segments from this season, so that is fun, at least. The Observer's brain number is pretty good though (though for some reason they decided to dub over Mike for Kevin for the singing.) Overall, a relatively decent episode, though I wouldn't recommend it for a first time viewer.. 5.5/10
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Season Seven Episode Eight: The She-Creature Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and The Observers
Plot Synopsis: A mysterious hypnotist reverts his beautiful assistant back into the form of a prehistoric sea monster that she was in a past life.
Host Segments:
Prologue: The Bots get their Thigh Master and and Thawmaster switched around. Tom's pot roast remains frozen and Crow has melted himself into a puddle of goo while exercising.
Segment One: The Observers try to dissect Bobo. Pearl asks Mike to help, and in exchange will stop sending bad movies. The nanites distract two observers with a tractor beam leaving Brain Guy to guard Pearl. Pearl lures Brain Guy into the force field that's she is in. Brain Guy gets close and Pearl holds his brain hostage, then escapes. Gypsy tries to get the SoL away from the planet, but she can't since the Observers disabled the navigation system. Mike asks the nanites to solve the problem and they do by devastating the observer's planet.
Segment Two: Crow shows Mike the Tickle-Me-Carlo-Lombardi doll he invented. The doll turns out to be creepy and aggressive.
Segment Three: Pearl, Prof. Bobo and Brain guy have escaped in The Widowmaker relatively unscathed. Pearl abuses them and their microbus gets a flat tire. Bobo gets out to fix it and plummets to a nearby planet.
Segment Four: MatBs are checking out Lance Fuller's instructional book "Do Not Act". The bots practice with Mike as he unresponsively mumbles without emotion to scenes from King Lear, The Odd Couple, Network, Schindler's List. He perfects the Lance Fuller non-acting technique by reciting a line from Waterworld.
Ending Segment: MatBs discuss the meaning of the question mark at the end of the film. They try to escape but are being held by Brain Guy's psychic abilities. On the Widowmaker Pearl and Brain Guy forge a new friendship based on tormenting Mike.
Stinger: Bobo is still lying on the planet's surface waiting to be rescued.
Review:
First there was The Creature That Couldn't Die/Brain Wouldn't Die similarities, now it's The Undead and The She-Creature. Hypnosis horror, more specifically the plot is about a hypnotist that is able to have a woman go back in time to a past life. Both of which at least have a plot point about the woman going back to England back in the past. Hell, you can even throw in some similarities between Terror From The Year 5000 and this movie, where a woman from a different part in time attacks and kills people in this era. Also, all of these movies are terrible. That's a similiarity, right?
I've noticed that the riffing has been reused quite a bit more than in the Comedy Central days. Yeah during that era they would make the same riff once in every so often if the situation called for it, yet in the Sci-Fi Era, I've heard riffs against Mike, Adam Sandler ribs, Strom Thurman is old gags, I thought you were Dale misquotes, and fart/poop jokes in almost every episode. Sure, there are some new riffs that are pretty funny, but after a while hearing recycled jokes so much takes away the humor of most jokes overall. Aside from one or two host segments, the host segments were a bit weak. This episode also named the Mike Nelson: Destroyer of Worlds trope, which is a plus, right? It's an above average episode that didn't have that many big laughs. 6/10
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Season Eight Episode Nine: I Was A Teenage Werewolf Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis: Tony Rivers (Michael Landon) is a disturbed, angry young man in the same vein as James Dean. To help with his problems, he gets... hypnotherapy. Unfortunately, the practitioner he seeks out, Dr. Alfred Brandon (Whit Bissel) who unfortunately is a mad scientist. Hilarity ensues when he is able to regress Rivers into a werewolf using scopolamine (which, despite what Crow said, actually exists) injections.
Host Segments:
Prologue: While Mike buffs Gypsy, Tom Servo tries to throw a mutiny. No one else wants to be captain, so Mike ends up being captain again.
Segment One: Pearl, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy are on a nice Camping Planet. Bobo and Brain Guy help Pearl carry stuff; though Bobo has to carry the most. The Satellite is now on auxiliary power, and has no shields. Tom goes out to inspect a disturbance on the ship, and when he comes back, there's a Facehugger clinging to his bubble. Doom sound effects ensue.
Segment Two: Crow uses his brand new proximity-detector to check for more aliens. He finds out there are aliens everywhere! At least until he realizes he was actually measuring the humidity.
Segment Three: Tom gets rid of his face-hugger and grabs his guns and weaponry from his 500 years of roaming the universe. Servo enters the duct work to dispense with the aliens. Mike and Crow takes bets on when Servo will breakdown and cry. Tom gets stuck and, after a few seconds of nervous singing, starts sobbing; Crow wins the bet.
Segment Four: The crew finds a batch of alien eggs on the bridge, so Mike makes some alien egg omelets. Crow picks a weird time to become a food critic.
Ending Segment: The ship continues to lose power as the alien drains the energy. They decide to find something that will repulse it; the only choice is for Mike to dress up as Adam Duritz. The alien flees in terror. On the planet, Pearl, Bobo, and Brain Guy enjoy a campfire and taunt the SOL crew with a ghost story. She proceeds to scare the crap out of Bobo and Brain Guy almost too easily.
Stinger: "People bug me, too!"
Review:
First off, seriously? Three of the last four freaking movies has had something to do with hypnosis or hypnotherapy. Hell, the last two movies involve not only hypnotherapy, but regressing people back to a former evolutionary stage (which actually didn't happen, but that's neither here nor there.) Couldn't Best Brains Inc. spread these movies out a bit better than this? Even the Gamera series had several episodes between them. Jeez. Also, on a more personal level, I for some reason had this movie and season six episode High School Big Shot sort of combined into each other as one whole movie. It doesn't help that Marv's loser dad also happens to be Tony's equally loser dad, or that both plots deal with a "teenager" (though Michael Landon looks more like a teenager, even though he's 21.) who tries to fix their problems in unhelpful ways. Also, the plot bears resemblance to Mad Monster from Season One, only this movie isn't a mockbuster.
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Honestly, the movie isn't THAT bad. There are far worse movies shown on MST3K. It's one of the few films shown on MST3K that jumpstarted someone's career (Michael Landon) so it has SOMETHING going for it, right? Still, despite being a somewhat watchable film, it is still rather silly at times, so Mike and the Bots aren't left watching a decent and trying to make it funny, they got a campy movie and are making it funnier.
As I stated, the riffing for this episode is very strong. and there are plenty of good riffs to hear, though a few of the repeatable riffs I mentioned are present. While they don't detract from the overall experience, I still wonder why they recycled riff so often. The host segments are pretty funny, and it's nice to see the Mads are now on Camping Planet for now. Great episode overall, and the start of a real good string of episodes. 9/10
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Season Eight Episode Ten: Giant Spider Invasion Network: Sci-Fi Network Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Dr. Bobo, and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis: A meteor shoots out of the Crab Nebula and makes its way to Earth, where it lands in the back pasture of a family of hillbillies (in Wisconsin). A giant spider emerges and starts laying rock-like eggs all over the place from which hatch a bunch of creepy tarantulas. Now it's up to a NASA scientist and an astrophysicist to figure out a way to destroy the monster before it and its children manage to ravage the whole countryside. There's hillbillies, bumpkin sheriffs, a teenage reporter, and a whole town full of drunken lumberjacks facing off against The Giant Spider Invasion
Host Segments:
Prologue: Tom Servo's got spirit and wants to be a cheerleader. Wanting an 'S', 'A', and 'T', Mike and Crow instead give him a M, an R, a small x, and one L. Servo's got MRxL!
Segment One: The Mads catch a bunch of fish, and discuss eating shrooms and the fish. Pearl proceeds to show some "wild flowers" they found, which prove later to be mind controlling aliens. Servo explains "portage", whilst managing to smack Mike and Crow with the canoe on his head ala Three Stooges. Pearl and Brain Guy become controlled by the pods, and offer MatBs some of the pods. Mike becomes suspicious, meanwhile Pearl sends him the movie.
Segment Two: Gypsy becomes controlled by one of the pods. She tries to convince MatBs to sleep, but Mike can see something is wrong with her. Tom and Crow satirically say that she seems no different.
Segment Three: Mike and Tom struggle to stay awake so they don't have their minds taken over. Crow decides to consume a large quantity of caffeine. Mike calls Bobo, and discovers that he has not been taken over. Mike convinces Bobo of the pod's plan eventually, but it's too late as the mind controlled Observer and Pearl tie him up.
Segment Four: Mike and Crow attempt to determine the original Tom from the alien clone. The clone is successfully scared away when Tom proves himself by rattling off his underwear collection.
Ending Segment: Mike ends up the only one not replaced by a clone. He calls Bobo and convinces him he can save the day. Bobo escapes and kills the mother pod, destroying the clones. Pearl, realizing she missed MatBs watching the movie, forces them to watch the movie again.
Stinger: "Pfffft!" (Jeweler guy makes a raspberry with his tongue)
Review:
You know, it was nice to finally see a movie that wasn't either a 50's B-movie or in black and white. Shame they had to break it with THIS movie. This movie has NO likable character, has terrible jokes, and actors that were all mostly has beens. Not to mention that there is exactly one "giant" Spider, while the rest just seem to be regular ones. You almost want to ROOT for the spiders to kill everyone.
I've seen this movie many times, and it always felt like the riffing in this episode, goes from pretty damn hilarious to petering off a bit once they killed off the worst and most unlikable character partway through. It also doesn't help they take more than a few digs at the Packers. Oh well, we all know the Vikings are far worse. The host segments (a reference to Invasion of the Body Snatchers) aren't that great, though the best was when Crow and Mike try to determine which Servo is the real one. Despite the problems, it is a good episode with plenty of laughs. 9/10
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Season Eight Episode Eleven: Parts: The Clonus Horror Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis: A small cadre of Olympic-caliber athletes is raised in an isolated compound that looks like a cross between a holiday resort fortress and a modern-day sports camp for Aryan youth. Drilled, trained, fed, and intellectually numbed into a state of blissful ignorance and eager obedience, they are adult orphans under paternal care and bred for one purpose only: parts for organ harvest
Host Segments:
Prologue: Mike has decided to grow a mustache. The Bots are supportive. Initially.
Segment One: True to form, the Bots are less supportive of Mike's choice to shave off his mustache. Meanwhile down on the planet, the camping Mads are awoken by the arrival of a trio of young Space Children who've run away from their parents. Pearl tries to drive them away, but they have powers even greater than Brain Guy (which isn't really saying much.) Mike tries to talk the kids into NOT (or into) sending the movie, in a hope reverse psychology works. It fails (or succeeds?)
Segment Two: The Mads are forced to play with the space children, causing various degrees of mental and physical pain for all involved.
Segment Three: At the end of her rope, Pearl convinces Mike and the Bots to put on a public TV style kids program to distract the kids. Aiming nice and low at first, they keep the kid's attentions, but as they get fancy, they lose their audience.
Segment Four: Drawing from their own lives, Pearl, Bobo and Observer each give the space children "that" talk. Things work about as well as you'd expect.
Ending Segment: Crow has gotten a nose job and Mike can't look away, while down on the planet the Mads have just gotten the space children to the sleep. The soothing poem Tom has written is perfect to keep them that way, but it's musical accompaniment is not.
Stinger: "Sure!"
Review:
To be absolutely honest, the plot of this movie isn't really that bad. It's a pretty interesting sci-fi idea that I'm amazed no one has used agai- wait? There was a movie in 2005 with the exact same plot, and the makers of this film sued because it had WAY too many similarities to this movie? Well, I doubt very seriously this case went anywhere and was thrown ou- they settled out of court? Holy crap. Someone tried to steal from a movie shown on MST3K and lost, sorta.
As I stated, the plot isn't that bad and is actually pretty interesting, shame this is a B-Movie with a few crummy actors. The whole damn budget seems to have gone to Peter Graves and Dick Sargent. Kind of a weird mishmash of characters, isn't it? A real problem is that the lighting for this film is either too bright or too damn dark to really see anything. That's always a problem when you can't see what the hell is going on. Of course, since there are one too many shots of guys crotches, I don't think I should complain about not knowing what's going on.
Hilarious riffing. with lots of ribs about one character's resemblance to Mario, a few Bewitched jokes, and LOT of jokes about Biography (which are pretty damn dated now) and a few of the other recurring riffs I've heard the last few days, though not as bad as it has been. Since Best Brains Inc. or Sci-Fi or whoever decided NOT to have a bunch of black and white monster films every week, I'm enjoying the show more and more again. Great episode, and I would highly recommend it. 9.5/10
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Season Eight Episode Twelve: The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis: Jerry falls in love with a stripper he meets at a carnival. Little does he know that she is the sister of a gypsy fortune teller whose predictions he had scoffed at earlier. The gypsy turns him into a zombie and he goes on a killing spree.
Host Segments:
Prologue: It's Walkathon season and Mike is being hit up by Crow who's walking on behalf of Walkathon, which is an acronym (Walkers At Large Kinetically Altruistic Through Hygiene Or kNowledge). Tom is walking for Helping Children Through Research And Development which Mike thinks is HECTRAD, but is also an acronym, full name: Hi, Everyone. Let's Pitch In 'N' Get Cracking Here In Louisiana Doing Right, Eh? Now Then. Hateful Rich Overbearing Ugly Guys Hurt Royally Everytime Someone Eats A Radish, Carrot, Hors d'oeuvre, And Never Does Dishes. Eventually, Victor Eats Lunch Over Peoria Mit Ein Neuesberger Tod. Nelson wants to help Tom, but him saying that makes him say the name again... and again.
Segment One: As Tom sings the praises of beefy tees to spread awareness of HELPING CHILDREN THROUGH RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT, they detect the launch of a spacecraft, it's Pearl in The Widowmaker who is attempting to return the Space Childern to their parents. Down on the planet Brain Guy and Bobo have a voice only link to the satellite as they fight over who is sending the movie up, during which Bobo hurls his dung at Brain Guy.
Segment Two: Inspired by the movie, Crow attempts to read Mike's fortune using Tom's head as a crystal ball, but it's all just a grand scheme to extort 50 cents. Things go wrong and Mike ends up giving them the money out of pity.
Segment Three: Crow and Servo sport new pompadours like the foreign guy from the movie, convincing Mike of the need to update his look too. A quick session with Shelli the Nanite gives him a really high pompadour, so high that Rocket Number 9 reveals it's a danger to communication satellites.
Segment Four: Crow hires Ortega from the movie to cater the movie break, but while he and Tom love the spread, Mike can't get over his appalling personal hygene. Mike's barbs shame Ortega, leaving him no choice but to douse his own face with acid.
Ending Segment: The Bots have convinced Mike to take a ride on their rollcoaster, The Screaming Lemur, but perhaps they really should have considered adding a track. Meanwhile Pearl has finally reached the Space Children's huge and omnipotent parents, turning down their offer of coffee and carrot cake to say her goodbyes and flee.
Stinger: "What do you think we came here for...to eat?" retorts the Foreign Guy.
Review:
Mike and the Bots wondered if the director Ray Dennis Steckler (also the lead) just filmed an 'open mic' night and made it half his movie. I have to agree. Most of the movie has absolutely nothing to do with the plot. If there's EVEN a plot. I'm not even sure. It seems like Steckler was just filming padding before he got around to the actual movie, and the movie just sorta came out from that padding.
Much like Manos, the Coleman Francis trilogy, and countless others, this episode proves that terrible movie = hilarious riffing. The host segments are a vary from pretty funny to kind of silly. Still, it's not enough to really hurt the episode that much. A must watch for any fan. 9.5/10
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Season Eight Episode Thirteen: Jack Frost Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis: ussian fairy tale dealing with Ivan and Nastenka, who go through the strangest situations to be with one another. Ivan is transformed by a Mushroom Pixie into a bear and is almost baked by an evil witch who controls trees. Nastenka is given the Cinderella treatment by her mother and her sister, who is jealous of her long braided hair. Jack Frost himself doesn't appear until late in the movie.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Michael Nelson is Lord of The Dance! Apparently the dance is from the river. Gypsy is more than underwhelmed.
Segment One: With Pearl away Brain Guy and Bobo argue about who's going to be in charge. Brain Guy teleports Mike down to help. Brain Guy complains about Bobo's disgusting hygiene needs while Bobo counters that Brain Guy had B.O. Brain Guy is shocked to discover that he does have bad body odor.. Mike uses Brain Guy's embarrassment to fast talk him into watching the movie on the Satellite of Love. Brain Guy teleports Mike back into his rightful place just before the movie starts.
Segment Two: In order to better explain the cultural context of the movie Crow brings in Russian-American standup comic Yakov Smirnoff (Patrick Brantseg) on the Hexfield. His tired 80's humor about the USSR goes over poorly.
Segment Three: Crow gets turned into a bear. Meanwhile Brain Guy and Bobo have found an uneasy peace. Eventually they find common ground for conversation discussing how awful Pearl is. Back on the SoL Crow has partially eaten Tom Servo. Mike scolds him for taking his bear simulations to the extreme.
Segment Four: Crow finds an even worse person than Yakov Smirnoff to be his expert on Russian culture: a sausage wholesaler who doesn't even address them directly (Paul Chaplin)
Ending Segment: Tom puts on a dress, glues large eyes to his dome and attempts to be cute. Unfortunately his cute manner of speech makes him impossible to comprehend. Bobo and Brain guy get drunk and begin to argue about which is the best ape movie ever made. The bring Mike down to settle the argument. Pearl returns with her own opinion on the ape movie issue.
Stinger: "Bring on my fiance!"
Review:
Much like all the other Eastern European movies shown on MST3K, this movie is bizarre. Hell, it's probably the MOST bizarre of the Eastern European movies shown. It's like they took a mish mash of Russian Fairy Tales, threw them in a blender, and called it a movie. Well, it's not that bad. It's actually pretty enjoyable because of how silly it is, but I'm sure a lot of the silliness is was thrown in by the English dubbers.
WAY back when these episodes were frequently shown on Sci-Fi channel, this was one of my favorite episodes, simply because of how unusual it was. There are better episodes out there, but this episode is still enjoyable to me, years later. The whole Ivan/Father Mushroom bit is one of the most unusual acts I've seen, and always good for plenty of laughs, for example. The hosting segments are pretty good, and I do enjoy Bear-Crow a good deal. The whole ape bit was also a nice bit, though I wonder why Pearl didn't noticed Mike right next to her? Eh, small potatoes. Hilarious episode that I would highly recommend to MSTies new and old. 9/10
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Season Eight Episode Fourteen: Riding with Death Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis: Agent Sam Casey is in a satellite explosion and the radiation turns him invisible. He gets a watch that keeps him visible, and he can use it to switch from visible to invisible. He is given two assignments: The first is to transport a chemical, Tripolydine, purported to be the most efficient fuel. After the cover is blown on that and Casey uncovers and stops the Tripolydine fraud, he must then stop elusive terrorist Robert Denby from blowing up race cars.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Mike was once a teppanyaki chef. He tries to make an ornate meal for the Bots, in the process cutting off Crow's own hand to serve to him.
Segment One: The Camping Planet is under fire! Pearl calls the Satellite crew for air support, and Mike proceeds to make the biggest baking soda bomb possible. He not only takes out the enemy army, but planet #3. The bots are less than amused.
Segment Two: Inspired by the movie, Tom writes and performs a song, The Funky Seventies. As usual, he completely misunderstands everything, but still tries to save the sketch with with an even more inappropriate song about the Fifties.
Segment Three: Tom somehow acquires another new body. This time, it is that of a truck driver. His butt is disturbingly flat, and he disturbingly loves it too much.
Segment Four: Crow is now a new superhero...Turkey Volume Guessing Man! He can tell you how many turkeys it takes to fill up a space. Mike accidentally steals Crow's thunder.
Ending Segment: The SOL crew tries to figure out what the movie was actually about. Pearl calls in to alert them to her medal ceremony for her actions on the planet below. She ends up being unable to steer the Widowmaker.
Stinger: Buffalo Bill expresses enthusiasm.
Review:
It's been a while since we've seen a few TV episodes from a failed series strung together to make a movie. I may be forgetting one or two movies, but I'm PRETTY sure the last one was Master Ninja II. The other series-turned-movie was just a pilot, so.. I think that may be right. Unlike the other strung together movies, they actually attempted to sew these two episodes together to make one semi-coherent movie. Though that still doesn't explain why the first half of the movie is about truck driving, adn the second is about drag racing. Eh, at least it wasn't an entire season of shows chopped together into one hour and a half movie.
The riffing was pretty good, with a good few riffs aimed at the South. Considering the movie features two things the south from the 70's was known for (drag racing and truck driving) it's not much of a shock. The rest of the riffs are pretty funny as well, so don't expect nothing but those sorts of riffs. Overall, good episode, though not as good as the last few. 7.5/10
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Season Eight Episode Fifteen: Agent for H.A.R.M. Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis: Dr. Jan Stefanik has a secret biological weapon. He defects, on foot and in broad daylight, with a briefcase containing "spore-forming meteorite fragments" while being pursued by the Red Army... all one of him. He makes it to the US, but not before his companion is killed by a gun that shoots said instant-flesh-eating spores into his face. Now Stefanik resides in a Section Eight beach house-cum-lab outside San Diego where he is working on a spore antidote. Living with him is his lovely Norwegian swimsuit-clad niece Eva whose existence he was unaware of until recently.
Host Segments:
Prologue: The bots are extreeeeme! If you can call yoga and stamp collecting extreeeeme! Mike chooses rice. They learn that some things are hard to make extreme.
Segment One: Mike isn't extreme then disappears. He has been taken to a mysterious location where he is to be put on trial by the Intergalactic Tribunal for blowing up three planets, and a failure to yield. Mike inadvertently chooses Professor Bobo as his lawyer and Pearl as his prosecutor because the judge doesn't understand sarcasm.
Segment Two: Crow tries to bake a power saw into a torte. The trial continues below, with Pearl imaginatively using props to make her point. Bobo channels Matlock to help his defense abilities, decides the word "panties" must be used, and then declares his disdain for Mike.
Segment Three: Bobo calls on the Bots as character witnesses via video depositions. Tom's deposition never gets past the guest stars. Crow's is barely audible under the bleeping for expletives. Bobo accuses Gypsy of hersay in her deposition.
Segment Four: Tom and Crow search for legal loopholes to help Mike. Meanwhile, Brain Guy takes the stand as a witness to describe the destruction of his world, and takes the dramatics a bit far. Somehow, Bobo manages to poke a hole in his testimony using his deep and abiding love of...pie. Yes, pie.
Ending Segment: The Bots hold a candlelight vigil, awaiting Mike's execution. Ortega is a witness, although his testimony is somewhat limited. Bobo calls a Little Amish Boy to the stand, who denies Mike's crime; Pearl tries to break him with fudge. The judge reaches a verdict: Mike is guilty and is sentenced to death. However, since Mike is basically a likable guy, his sentence is commuted to 800 hours of community service.
Stinger: A scientist is knocked almost unconscious.
Review:
What do you get when you take James Bond, take away the entertaining hero, add in a very boring failure for a hero, and reduce the budget to about that of a TV pilot? You get Agent for HARM! This is probably one of the weaker spy films shown on MST3K, and I do wnoder how on earth a spy film is considered "Science Fiction."
The riffing was.. average. There were a few good riffs here and there, but overall the riffing just felt sort of a letdown. The host segments were hilarious though, so that was a plus. Not a very memorable episode. 5/10
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Season Eight Episode Sixteen: Prince of Space Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis: A group of space men from the planet Krankor are led by their leader, Phantom, to invade Earth. But a superhero named Prince of Space (actually a bootblack in disguise) arrives to defeat the spacemen. Although the weapons of the aliens cannot harm the Prince of Space, the Phantom continues to fight, and many plot twists (including capturing a group of elderly scientists) ensue.
Host Segments:
Prologue: The Bot's game of Dog and Bear gets way out of hand. Twos straight episodes, and Crow is a bear.
Segment One: Bobo finds a suitable spot to go to the toilet, but it turns out to be a wormhole, through which The Widowmaker and a unwilling Satellite of Love enter to chase after him.
Segment Two: Due to the effects of the wormhole, each member of the SOL is moving at a different temporal speed, which makes convesation problematic, but provides ample chances for the theft of Crow's chicken puppet.
Segment Three: Due to the effects of the wormhole, our Mike is replaced with version from alternate universe where he is also a robot. What little respect Crow and Tom have for Mike is lost as they can't take the ventriloquist dummy styled robot seriously.
Segment Four: Due to the effects of the wormhole, MatBs are transported to a lovely sylvan glen. Tired of all the wackiness, Mike just goes for a walk.
Ending Segment: Everything appears to be back to normal, complete with a visit from Krankor, and they're even back around the Earth, but Pearl and Brain Guy have reason to suspect they've traveled back in time to Ancient Rome...
Stinger: The Phantom of Krankor's trademark laugh.
Review:
Before Fugitive Alien(s I and II), Time of the Apes, Godzilla, or Gamera, there was one Japanese flick that always had me in stitches: Prince of Space. I remember each and every time this episode came on during the five years of Sci-Fi reruns, I would always watch it, either laughing at a new joke I missed the first time, or at the still hilarious riffs I caught time and time again. Seeing it for the first time in several years, and I can safely say the movie hasn't lost it's touch on me. This is one of the better episodes of Season Eight. If you haven't seen it, I would highly recommend it, if you have seen it, then watch it again! I'm not sure how well this would work for bringing in a newbie into the series, but it can't hurt, right? Not like your weapons will be useless against them or anything. 10/10
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Season Eight Episode Seventeen: Horror of Party Beach Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis: Hank Green and his girlfriend drive to a local Long Island beach to have a good time and listen to the band "The Del-Aires." However, Hank and his girl have an argument, which results in Hank getting into a fight with a motorcycle gang. They break up over this incident---she wants to have fun and party, but Hank is ready for more serious endeavors. As she walks toward the beach to reflect on her new freedom, she is murdered by several sea monsters. The monsters have been created by the careless dumping of radioactive waste into a nearby harbor. The monsters go on to kill twenty girls at a slumber party, and it's up to Hank, a young scientist, and Dr. Gavin, Elaine's father, to destroy the monsters. Dr. Gavin's maid, Eulabelle, stumbles upon a way to kill the sea monsters by pouring sodium on them.
Host Segments:
Prologue: While Mike tries to explain their present situation, Tom takes a leaf out the book of the Gyuto Monks of Tibet and attempts to harmonize his overtones with the fundamental.
Segment One: Mike marvels at Tom's multi-layered chanting, until he discovers the little robot has some pre-recorded assistance. Meanwhile Apearlo and Brainguyus attempt to convince a delighted Callipygeas and a suspicious Flavia that they are in fact gods. Brain Guy tries to prove themselves by producing.... spoons. They "prove" themselves when they communicate with the average-looking man-god, the golden spider duck, and the squat crimson pig living in the stars.
Segment Two: The Bots are in costume for their manly beach dance, but the swimming trunks they've made for Mike to wear are a tad small, in the sense that he's effectively nude.
Segment Three: Pearl and Observer continue try and convince their hosts that they're gods, opting for the music of the gods, including 'Seasons In The Sun' by Terry Jacks and a beef flavored hoe-down!
Segment Four: Impressed by the extremely up-to-date newspaper boy from the movie, Tom goes one better and offers copies of the S.O.L. Post with to the second updated headlines to Mike, covering his increasing annoyance at the skit.
Ending Segment: Dressed as the Del-Aires, MatBs reach out to youth of today and sing of Sodium!, while down in Rome as Brain Guy and Callipygeas increasingly bond, Pearl and Flavia increasingly trade insults.
Stinger: The semi-nude thin guy in full swing at the beach dance
Review:
A dull beach movie/horror flick. I'm pretty sure that there was another back in the second or third season, but for the life of me, I can't remember the exact name... Anyways, this is a cheap monster movie where the monster is made by radiation and has the skeleton of a human, but body of a fish or some weird stuff like that. Aside from the beach theme (that sorta shows up only during the first twenty minutes of the flick) it's much like every other monster movie around.
The riffing is about what you expect from this genre, funny, lots of riffs about the bad acting, cheap production values, and wonky monster. The host segments are alright, though I'm no fan of the Rome setting. Weird how Professor Bobo is MIA (though I guess it was to have Kevin Murphy as the lead Roman man.) Decent episode, though not the best of this genre shown on MST3K. 7/10
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Season Eight Episode Eighteen: Devil Doll Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis: Ventriloquist/hypnotist The Great Vorelli has an amazing dummy named Hugo. Vorelli's act with the dummy is intense, complete with harsh insults and threats. Hugo is scary enough just sitting there, but when he walks and talks on his own and threatens the audience with a knife, yikes! And yet people applaud! People applaud when Vorelli convinces a guy he's about to be shot too!
After Vorelli meets beautiful heiress Marianne Horne, he hypnotizes her, causing her to suffer from a severe fever that spirals into a baffling coma. Marianne’s boyfriend Mark, a newspaper reporter, is suspicious and starts investigating Vorelli’s past. He discovers that a man named Hugo was killed several years earlier during one of Vorelli’s shows in Berlin. Apparently Vorelli stole Hugo’s human soul and transferred it into the body of the dummy.
Host Segments:
Prologue: It's Friday at the dorm! Mike and the bots have an open window frathouse party. Just a window. No music or booze.
Segment One: Mike wants Tom to send the window back to the store, but a delusionally drunken Crow smashes it, shouting “Debbie!” Apearlo and Brainguyus liven up a dull Roman party with - pants!
Segment Two: Mike is startled that Crow is making a deal with the devil... Er, a Devil... Pitch. They make an appointment when Mike isn't around.
Segment Three: The bots have set up a British pub, with an impossibly stout ale on tap as Mike finds out firsthand.
Segment Four: Pitch helps Crow transfer Tom’s soul, which was remarkably easy. Mike disapproves. Tom then decides to transfer his soul into a toaster strudel.
Ending Segment: Servo now had leggy gams, Crow has dressed Mike up as Hugo and built a cage around him. Mike disapproves. Apearlo and Brainguyus suddenly see a familiar face fighting a lion... Bobo!
Stinger: Argh! Look out, Vorelli! Hugo's kicking your ass!
Review:
Today's movie reminds me of Twilight Zone's episode The Dummy, about a living Dummy that is real and tries to take control of his alcoholic ventriloquist, though really this is based on a short story written about ten years earlier so.. I guess you can't really say this is a knockoff of that. Though for those keeping count at home, this is about the fourth (fifth?) movie this season that involves hypnotism. Thankfully, this movie has NOTHING to do with sending people through time via hypnotism (well, he sends one man through time to be shot, but it's still an act.. I think?) Creepy movie overall, and kinda dark for MST3K.
Despite the creepiness of the movie, I still enjoyed the riffing. Lots of good riffs about ventriloquists, and dummies in general. I'm surprised they didn't throw a Jeff Dunham gag in there somewhere (Hey, he was equally obscure in 1997 as he was back in.. 1993, or whenever they mentioned him!)
It was good to see Pitch again. Reminds me of how much I enjoyed Mexican Santa Claus. Pitch is the only (that I can recall) Comedy Central guest to make a return for the Sci-Fi era. When I saw this when I was a kid before I knew about the Comedy Central series, I always wondered why they didn't say it was the actual Devil, instead of a devil named Pitch of all things. The Rome host segments were a bit weak, but they don't stay there for long. One thing I should note is that Professor Bobo does technically show up, but only in a voice over, and I'm almost positive it was someone else trying to imitate Kevin Murphy (since he played the main male Roman lead.) Either way, the host segments were a mixed bag, but this is an enjoyable episode. 8/10
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Season Eight Episode Nineteen: Invasion of the Neptune Men Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis: Slow-moving aliens from the planet Neptune, wearing nosecone-shaped space helmets, attempt to invade Earth in a winged rocketship. But they are thwarted by a mysterious superhero called "Space Chief," who flies around in a rocket-propelled car. Definitely has no relation to Prince of Space. Honest.
Host Segments:
Prologue: The bots are disgusted to learn about eyelash mites and decide to rid of the ones Mike has.
Segment One: The Bots send the nanites to destroy the mites, scorning Mike like it was his idea when things go south. Meanwhile, The Mad Goth, AKA Bobo arrives, making Pearl and Brain Guy want to commit suicide, until Brain Guy convinces Pearl to save Bobo by telling her that Bobo ruining time and space would mean the end of Chicken in a Biskit.
Segment Two: Mike confuses the bots by telling them about Noh Theater.
Segment Three: Tom comes down with a bad case of Roji Panty complex. Meanwhile, Pearl and Brain Guy unsuccessfully make Bobo remember who he really is.
Segment Four: Mike and the Bots are going to lose their sanity when they get a visitor - Phantom of Krankor! Despite his inaneness, he cheers MatBs up enough to finish this stinker.
Ending Segment: MatBs read suggestions from the suggestion box, all insulting Japan. Meanwhile, Pearl and Brain Guy hit Bobo with a giant slate of rock, making him remember who he is, resulting in him, Pearl, and Brain Guy getting thrown into the dungeon.
Stinger: "Aaaah! What's that?"
Review:
In the last six months, I've watched plenty of MST3K movies. Some of them will be movies that I'll rewatch for years to com. Some of them I honestly can't remember much about. Some of them are movies I wish I never saw in the first place. And even a very very few are those that I don't think Joel/Mike and the Bots couldn't save. Today's movie is one of those movies.
This is a mockbuster of previous episode Prince of Space, only without the Chickenmen of Krankor or the terribly hilarious plot hole inducing dubbing. The fact that they stock footage from World War II battles (along with the infamous Hitler Building) is bad enough. The fact that the filmmakers decided to PAD OUT THE LAST TWENTY MINUTES WITH THE SAME FOUR F***ING SHOTS is a scene to be believed.
The fact that the riffing, while enjoyable, can't counteract just how god awful this movie has to be seen to be believed. It's ALMOST Monster A-Go Go bad, except that this movie actually finished the "plot", but it wasn't worth it. The host segments are alright, and the real highlight is Phantom of Krankor showing up and putting MatBs in good spirits about the movie (albeit temporarily). I would advise any MST3K to stay away from this movie, unless you've been watching the series as long as I have. It isn't worth it. 3/10
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Season Eight Episode Twenty: Space Mutiny Network: Sci-Fi Network Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Dr. Bobo, and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis: A space fighter pilot is the only hope to stop the mutiny inside the seed-ship, the Southern Sun The Security chief and his Enforcers join the Chief engineer to take control of the ship, to sell the crew of the ship into slavery and become lord of thier own planet.
Host Segments:
Prologue: The Bots think the encyclopedias that Mike has are a little dated.
Segment One: Mike gets more encyclopedias, but the bots complain about missing complaining. In ancient Rome, The Mads are thrown in jail. Pearl convinces Mike to come down to help, but since Brain Guy is the only who can bring Mike down (and his brain is far out of range) so it's not going so well.
Segment Two: Mike tries to have tea in peace, but is interrupted by the bots fighting in the Hyper-Warp Escape Pods. Apparently they were in the hold, waiting for them to escape with.
Segment Three: Crow's a Bellerian. Or is he? Bobo's escape plan to regurgicate a key works, but he immediately locks himself back up after getting some bananas. Crow asks Mike to ask him pointblank if he's a Bellerian. He's not.
Segment Four: In the spirit of the many safety railing-related deaths in the movie, Servo installs railings, in case OSHA stops by. Mike is not pleased.
Ending Segment: Tom is buff, Crow is not, Pearl and Brainguy escape jail and Bobo burns down Rome.
Stinger: Flint Ironstag screams like a woman.
Review:
What can I say about this movie that hasn't been said by hundreds of other people? Quite simply, this movie is in that sweet spot of good and bad that makes it not only an absolute must watch for ANY MST3K fan, but also a perfect example of a movie you should show to friends starting out on the show. Honestly, what MST3K fan HASN'T seen this episode? Awesome awesome episode. Must watch for anyone. 10/10
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Season Eight Episode Twenty-One: Time Chasers Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, Eddie Nelson (Between Segments Three and Four), Crow T. Robot, and Brain Guy (Briefly, at the end) Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis: Nick Miller creates a time machine out of an airplane and a Commodore 64 and shows it to his friends by taking them 50 years into the future. Nick sells the technology to Gen-Corp, a high-tech firm run by J.K. Robertson (whose office looks like it is in the mezzanine of a shopping mall or library). Robertson however, to little suprise, turns out to be Evil and uses the time machine to plunder the future. With the lives of himself and his friends at stake, Nick needs to use his time machine to travel a week back in time and convince himself not to give the demo to Robertson
Host Segments:
Prologue: Tom (and Crow) want(s) Mike to use the phrase "Lost In Space", so that they can reenact Lost In Space.
Segment One: Mike docks the SOL with The Widowmaker and has an unusually neighborly chat with Pearl. Crow joins up partway through to hang out with Mike and Pearl.
Segment Two: Tom sends Crow back in time to convince Mike not to take temp jobs. The blonde, irresponsible slacker Mike of the past proves difficult to reason with.
Segment Three: Crow convinces Mike to quit temping, and returns and finds Mike's abusive brother Eddie (Michael Nelson) there instead. Servo has now become Eddie's Yes Man and ashtray. He says that Mike's band ("Sex Factory") was actually doing very well, when Mike got hit in the head, by a girl fans big hotel room key, and died. Says he got that job since that 'sleepy eyed guy left.'
Segment Four: Crow returns to the past and convinces Crow not to go through with his plan.
Ending Segment: Crow wants Mike to say 'Gilligans Island', but backfires. Mike chats up Pearl again, and realises that another Crow is in 80s Wisconsin, working at the cheese factory he used to work at.
Stinger: "Matt, it's time for you decide if you're gonna be one of my team players or not."
Review:
This isn't bad as say, Invasion of the Neptune Men, but it's a pretty rough film. There are no decent actors, the budget is terrible, and the plot makes no sense. Another thing is that the plot of the movie (though similar to Back to the Future II) isn't THAT bad. The director just didn't seem to know how to go from there, I guess.
The riffing is some top notch quality. Lots of great riffs about how the main character looks nothing like a real hero, the bad plot, the weird settings, and how bad the clothing styles of the 80s/90s were. Also, is it bad that I liked Eddie Nelson: Riffer? Even though it was still Mike under the hat and stache, Eddie did bring a very different riffing style than that of his "brother" Mike or Joel. He was abusive, openly smoked and drank in the theater (all while throwing the occasional riff in there). Maybe it's just the novelty of there being someone "different" riffing the movie, but I wouldn't have mind seeing a full episode with Eddie instead of Mike.
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The host segments are also a hoot, as Crow goes back in time, talks to a far dumber Mike, while he somehow gets stuck in the past. I don't know how Crow would've been stuck in the past like he was (since Crow of 30 minutes earlier might have just wandered back to the SoL of his time?) Another interesting thing to note: Crow has spent 500 years alone on the SoL, at least a decade with the Nelson family, and has also spent most of 1985-present working in a cheese factory in Wisconsin. One thing I can't help but wonder if Best Brains purposely left Crow in the past as a potential cameo for Trace Beaulieu to come back for an episode? It's a bit of a stretch, but you never know what Best Brains was planning. Anyways, this is another hilarious episode that deserves to be seen by fans old and new alike. 10/10
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Season Eight Episode Twenty-Two: Overdrawn at the Memory Bank Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis: In a "dystopian" corporate future society, "Processor Third Class" Aram Fingal (Raul Julia) is caught "scrolling up cinemas," or watching movies - specifically, Casablanca - and is diagnosed and treated to a virtual reality vacation known as "doppling", where he can take the form of an animal. At the doppling facility, a visiting school brat decides to switch some routing tags around, and that's when things start to go haywire..
Host Segments:
Prologue: Crow cashes in on his 'loved by millions' catch phrase, "You know you want me baby!" Servo plays a laugh track, that can't take the abuse of constant use.
Segment One: Mike tries a few catchphrases himself, and like usual, fails miserably (We're all out of toner!). Pearl, assisted by Ortega, starts her own public-TV station in order to enrich herself through pledge drives, with an assortment of public TV shows.
Segment Two: Tom and Crow order a monkey from "Instant Monkeys Online". It escapes, urinates on Mike's shoes, and throws stuff. The bots named the monkey Henry Kissinger "because of his scalp".
Segment Three: Mike keeps fighting Henry, and we get to see a "very special pledge week special of a special pledge week special", "Pearl! Pearl! Pearl! Pearl! Pearl!" which features a duet by Pearl and Brain Guy.
Segment Four: Tom wants to be 'doppled' to the nanite world and cause trouble. He soon regrets it.
Ending Segment: Bobo tries to talk Henry down, but Henry turns the tables on Bobo, and convinces him to throw things like microwaves. The bots are scared at first, but of course, when Mike takes action, the Bots scorn him. Meanwhile, Pearl counts her 'pony playing from some well meaning liberals'.
Stinger: "Mum... 'm I nuts?"
Review:
For a season finale, they couldn't get much better than this. This movie has all the makings of an epic episode of MST3K. A movie filmed on tape, with then advanced graphics (that now look REAL cheesy), and one legitimately good actor surrounded by subpar or worse actors. Not to mention the fact that the writers don't go about explaining what half of what's going on is or means, so the audience is typically lost (especially near the end, with Fingal "interfaces" or whatever.)
Like I said, the slurry of one good actor in a terrible movie makes this a very memorable episode. Mike and the Bots seem to be at their best when Fat Man (that's what the movie calls him) shows up. The fact that he looks like a middle-aged TV's Frank doesn't go past Mike and the Bots. The fact that Fat Man's image is randomly shown everywhere (especially in TV-like projections that move in circles) talking about who knows what also sparks a good many riffs from MatBs.
I haven't seen this episode since it last aired on the Sci-Fi Network. This is another episode that I really enjoyed when I was younger, and it seems to have aged very well. The only really REAL weak spot to me are the host segments, which range from relatively funny to too long and unfunny. Despite that, the host segments don't really take away from how good this episode is. Great season finale, great episode, must watch for fans new and old alike. 10/10
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I guess the question is how well did Season Eight do? Well, aside from a few early episodes (and Neptune Men) I enjoyed this season. I have mentioned a few times that I've seen quite a bit of Season Eight, so this is the first season where I can safely say that most of the episodes were repeat views for me.
A real problem of Season Eight (that would sorta persist throughout the final two seasons) is that the host segments don't have quite the same quality as they did during Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank era. I'm not putting down Mary Jo, Kevin, or Bill, but the dynamic between those Trace and Frank were gold. Sure, every so often I'd enjoy a host segment, but it's not as often as the early years. I can only assume part of the reason they are a bit inferior for this season was Sci-Fi's ruling that there was a story arc, which doesn't work for a show like MST3K. I'm just glad that they moved away from it starting next season.
I touched on this during one of my reviews, but I have noticed that the y began repeating a riff (or they would take a shot at someone) more often.. Granted, during the first few seasons, I heard "Diarrhea is like an X inside of you" or "We secretly replaced their X with Foger's Crystals. Let's watch" at least once every few episodes, but it wasn't repeated as often as say, the Daleisms that were rampant this season.
Of course, Season's Nine and Ten are both thirteen episodes each, and I'm planning on spending one week on both. Expect two (or maybe even three) uploads a day. I should've done this from the start, shouldn't I?
Here are the rankings for season eight. Prince of Space 10/10 Space Mutiny 10/10 Time Chasers 10/10 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank 10/10 Parts: The Clonus Horror 9.5/10 The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? 9.5/10 The Thing That Couldn't Die 9/10 I Was A Teenage Werewolf 9/10 Giant Spider Invasion 9/10 Jack Frost 9/10 Revenge of the Creature 8.5/10 The Leech Woman 8/10 The Mole People 8/10 Devil Doll 8/10 Riding with Death 7.5/10 The Deadly Mantis 7/10 Horror of Party Beach 7/10 The Undead 6.5/10 The She-Creature 6/10 Terror from the Year 5000 5.5/10 Agent for H.A.R.M. 5/10 Invasion of the Neptune Men 3/10
Season Averages:
Season Seven: 8.5/10 Season Three: 8.3/10 Season Five (Joel): 8.3/10 Season Six: 8.2/10 Season Five: 8.1/10 Season Eight: 8/10 Season Five (Mike) 7.9/10 Season Four: 7.6/10 Season Two: 7.5/10 Season One: 5.7/10
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Season Nine Episode One: The Projected Man Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis: A scientist experimenting with matter transmission from place to place by means of a laser beam suddenly decides to use himself as a test specimen. But the process goes awry, and one side of his body becomes hideously deformed and instantly lethal to anyone it touches
Host Segments:
Prologue: The Satellite of Love has exited the wormhole, and is back orbiting the Earth, present day. Mike shows off his latest Shatner impersonation. Tom can't handle (what he thinks is) another parallel Earth.
Segment One: The Mads arrive at Castle Forrester. It's filled with all sorts of evil spirits and such. Pearl then shows off her new piano skills (cheered on by the SOL crew) and declares the place, "so freakin' cool"!
Segment Two: The Bots have invented a projecting machine. It projects things... someplace else – well, not really. It’s just a machine they use to destroy Mike’s most precious possessions. Like his class ring, his St. Blaise medal from his grandma to protect his throat and love letters from Denise that she wrote right before she died. Somehow, Tom's autographed photo of Shirley Jones is among Mike's prized possessions.
Segment Three: Mike is on the phone with Lembach from the movie. He tries to convince Lembach to stay a little longer. He bribes him with pie and a trip to Shenanigans. Lembach is staying! Pearl learns more about her family history. Apparently odd experiments run in the family. Lembach then decides to go, breaking their spirits.
Segment Four: Crow’s experiments in "projectedness-itivity" have given him the Touch of Death, and he accidentally kills Mike, forcing the bots to drag Mike into the theater. Luckily, Crow resuscitates him by shaking his hand again. Also, despite having no feet, Servo somehow makes footsteps.
Ending Segment: It's Grant Day! The Bots compete for funding from Mike’s new foundation, Michael J Nelson, the foundation. Tom asks for $50, but can't remember if he got distilled water or not and the project is denied. Crow wins the $50 for his project: "to buy two new leaf blowers and a hat".
In Castle Forrester, Pearl has (after a gentle reminder by Brain Guy and Bobo) rediscovered her mission: taking over the world.
Stinger: Lembach is staying! And there is much rejoicing!
Review:
It's best to say that very little happens during the movie. There's a lot of nothingness going on in this movie, and when something DOES happen, it has about the same amount of tension as a small kitten ready to attack you. It's a boring, dull, film that really has nothing of substance.
The riffing varies from good lines and one liners to it, but the dullness of the movie takes away from it. Usually, a good episode has SOMETHING that Mike and the Bots are able to latch onto and ride it like crazy, but everything is SO boring that there is nothing that really gets the epic riffing of say, Manos, Space Mutiny, or Pod People. The host segments are pretty funny though, with Pearl moving into Castle Forrester, and the Bots destroying Mike's stuff for the hell of it being highlights. Overall, this is a weak episode to start a season. 7/10
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Season Nine Episode Two: The Phantom Planet Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis: In the "future" year of 1980, a military space ship is destroyed by collision with a rogue giant asteroid. U.S. astronaut Captain Frank Chapman, blasts off from Lunar Base One to investigate. Richard Weber rides along as Ray Makonen, an unusually verbose and dreamy co-pilot a little too focused on the "wisest, the best, the good and the beautiful". Soon, Chapman's spacecraft is struck and damaged by the asteroids. Makonen is lost to distinctly bad and ugly outer space. Chapman's ship is then pulled to the surface of a giant asteroid, which we learn is called Rheton, by some kind of ray.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Crow has challenged Mike and Servo to an Andy Rooney-Off. Gypsy acts as the judge as the trio cover the subject of soups.
Segment One: Gypsy tries to announce the winner of the Rooney-Off, but Mike and the 'Bots can't stop Andy Rooney-ing long enough to hear it. Meanwhile in the middle of moving into Castle Forrester, Pearl receives her World Domination Starter Kit from Spiegel. However, it's missing its nuclear core which has been shipped separately up to the SOL by mistake. Mike is somewhat fearful of it's radiation and wants to get rid of it, but Servo and Crow get kind of attached. Bobo's attacked by rats.
Segment Two: Taking a cue from the movie, Mike and Tom focus their attention on the Good and the Beautiful, trying various combinations of foodstuffs as the "Good" and actresses as "the Beautiful" in search of the best balance between the two.
Segment Three: Mike's little space-walk slips Crow's mind, as down in Castle Forrester Pearl and Brain Guy have to contend with strange and eerie sounds, but it appears it's all from Bobo.
Segment Four: Crow and Tom have taken up the glass armonica and they bravely struggle through Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. They mistakenly believe their limited ability will still allow them to trounce Mike, but he is surprisingly good.
Ending Segment: Crow is yet again inspired dress up as a character from the day's movie, this time as a Solarite. Crow comes to realize he has a problem due to the frequency that this occurs and the fact he doesn't even recall making the costume. Down in the Castle Forrester, Pearl is about to give up on being a mad scientist when a mob of frightened villagers threatening to storm the place renew her spirits, or so she thinks.
Stinger: Lt. Makonnen's classic line: "You know, Captain, every year of my life I grow more and more convinced that the wisest and best is to fix our attention on the good and the beautiful, if we’ll just take the time to look at it." What can Chapman say in response but "You're some guy Makonnen".
Review:
What can I say about 50's (or in this case, early 60's) Space movies that I haven't said before? This is like the rest of them. The asteroids all look like chicken are Crunch 'n Munch, the biology makes no sense, and oh, this is new, it may have all been just a dream.
The riffing is alright, though I can't say really enjoyed it. I've remember watching this movie on the Sci-Fi Network, and I wasn't impressed with it then, and it's only slightly better now. True, there are some good riffs here and there, but overall this is a sorta average episode. If you're into cheesy Space Exploration movies, or silly exposition, this might be your thing, but otherwise, don't watch unless you want to see all the episodes or something. 5.5/10
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Season Nine Episode Three: The Pumaman Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis: American archeologist Tony Farms is harrassed by a mystical belt salesman named Vadinho in order to become a puma-empowered champion like his father before him. Unfortunately for Vadinho, he ends up being a total wimp and Vadinho must stop the big bads before it's too late.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Servo struggles with Short Man's Disease.
Segment One: Servo overcomes his disability, and doesn't get an ugly joke. Pearl throws a ball in the castle, and no one on the SoL is invited! Well, that is until no one has shown up, and asks MatBs to pretend to be apart of the ball. Tom Servo gets a bit too into it. Brain Guy has Ortega and a few other friends over for a different party.
Segment Two: Mike wants the dry look hairstyle like the guy in the movie, but angers Shelli the Nanite who makes his look perhaps a little too dry.
Segment Three: Mike is chosen by the "gods" to be Coatimundi Man complete with powers, theme music, and a haphazard costume (a Rhoda vest, a Dr. Who scarf, and a BOLD giant foam cowboy hat). Mike is more interested in the leftover noodles in the fridge.
Segment Four: Crow and Servo use their "genuine Aztec mask" to control Roger Whittaker.
Ending Segment: Crow quits, but is quickly rehired. Pearl feels dejected that no one came to her ball, so Roger Whittaker is sent to cheer her up.
Stinger: Tony gets thrown out the window, and blue-screen falls to the ground.
Review:
Remember Superman IV? Remember how it killed the Superman franchise and everyone mocked it for how terrible it was? Well, this movie makes Superman IV look like the first movie. The only decent actor in this move is Donald Pleasance, and at this point I'm pretty sure he was in the "Take any movie that has a nice paycheck" phase. The special effects are so cheesy that I'm not even sure someone could believe they were supposed to be serious. Hell, the superhero is such a dork that I'm not even sure why Vadinho even got Tony for help. Hell, if they cut the middle man and just said Vadinho was the real hero, this movie have been.. Nah, it'd still suck.
The riffing is overall very enjoyable. A LOT of mileage is made of Donald Pleasance's pronouncation of Puma (P-you-ma), Tony Farm's complete wimpiness and how he isn't a real superhero, and the terrible special effects. The host segments are a bit weak, but this episode has to be seen to be believed. 9/10
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Season Nine Episode Four: Werewolf Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis: A team of archaeologists unearth a skeleton at a dig in an Arizona quarry. The Native Americans on the dig instantly recognize it as the remains of a werewolf, so the team leaders immediately take it to their lab. Yuri siezes on greater ambitions when one of the dig assistants, who injured himself on the remains, becomes infected and turns into a werewolf in full view of hospital personnel. Yuri then conducts an experiment to infect other people in town to see if they turn into werewolves as well. When Paul arrives at the lab to assist in analyzing the remains, Yuri infects him, too. After Paul's transformation, Natalie tries to save him.
Host Segments:
Prologue: After a fall, Mike thinks that he's James Lipton and interviews Crow, thinking the latter is Ray Liotta and interviews him about his film career.
Segment One: Crow hits Mike with a clown hammer, restoring him to his senses. Mike attempts to affect an escape, but accidentally lands in Castle Forrester. Mike decides to give up after Brain Guy produces a cannon and points it at him.
Segment Two: MatBs speculate over whom they would cast in their werewolf movies, using famous celebrity relatives (including Spike Knotts and Chip Hitler) as characters. All Crow can come up with is Ray Liotta.
Segment Three: Mike and the Bots dress up as a '60s girl group and sing "Where, O Werewolf", about "Cindy" (Mike)'s doomed relationship with her werewolf boyfriend.
Segment Four: Mike cuts himself on Crow's head and begins turning into a Werecrow. Servo is horrified, but Crow warms to the idea and tells Mike what to expect from his transformation.
Ending Segment: Mike is even further along in his transformation, but Servo comes up with an antidote. Unfortunately, Servo is now transforming into a Weremike. At Castle Forrester, Pearl attempts to create her own werewolf, but Bobo produces a cocker spaniel instead.
Stinger: Natalie's flat emotionless delivery of the line "This is absolutely fascinating."
Review:
The recent movies shown on MST3K, Werewolf is a relatively poor B-Movie that has a nonsensical plot, bad Non-English speaking actors (speaking English throughout the movie), a full moon every night, and.. Joe Estavez. This is the third movie to deal with werewolves (After Season One's Mad Monster and Eight's I Was a Teenage Werewolf). As a movie, it seems it asks a lot of it's audience. It assumes the audience not only be dumb enough not to recoginze when someone drives by the same gas station five times (in the span of three minutes) but also assumes the audience doesn't know when a full moon happens. That's asking a lot, isn't it?
The riffing was very enjoyable during this movie, with plenty of riffs thrown at the incosistent werewolf costume, not sure if Joe Estavez is even supposed to be in this movie (and him just disappearing after the first twenty minutes) and how Natalie's terrible English makes for some awesome riffs over how badly she pronounces some words. The host segments are vary from relatively funny (Mike turning to Were-Crow, Mike trying to escape the SoL) to kinda dull (Mike as James Lipton.) Overall I'd say this is one of the better episodes of Season Nine. 9.5/10
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Season Nine Episode Five: The Deadly Bees Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis: Pop singer Vicki Robbins collapses from exhaustion while shooting the 1960's equivalent of a music video, and her physician inflicts a visit to Seagull Island on her. She arrives on Seagull Island and promptly ends up in the classic and most British of scenarios: There's murder most foul. There's a bad guy who's just a little too good, and a good guy who's just a little too bad. And, of course, she's the ingenue caught in the middle of it all.
Host Segments:
Prologue: MatBs quickly go through a montage of disjointed melodramatic scenes reminiscent of of various cop dramas, soap operas and hospital dramas.
Segment One: Mike and Servo quickly explain they were just doing the previous segment for fun. Bobo and Brain Guy are watching Daytime television and eating chili dogs. Two observers (Mike Nelson and Paul Chaplin) teleport into Castle Forrester and try to retrieve Brain Guy so he can help them rebuild their planet. Though when they find out that he's turned out to be a pig, they're less than pleased.
Segment Two: Crow is enamored by the cigarette-addicted old hag from the movie and writes her a love sonnet.
Segment Three: Tom tries raising a hive of wood ticks. Brain Guy is packing for his departure from Earth. He then sings about leaving. Bobo and Pearl join in the song and convince him to stay.
Segment Four: Crow has misplaced his hair dye. Mike decides to dress as a bee and communicate using bee's body movements. Using bee wiggles he easily conveys a number of complex ideas to Tom but fails to resolve Crow's hair dye problem.
Ending Segment: The Bots agree that bees should be in every single movie and they're visited by a silent man in the bowler hat like at the very end of the movie. The Observers have a psychic battle. Bobo and Brain Guy are able to take their brains away and then Brain Guy condemns the two observers to live out the rest of their lives in Wisconsin as raging Packers fans. The man in the bowler hat makes a final appearance.
Stinger: The dog's meat, have you seen it?"
Review:
The plot is rather confusing. The supposed bad guy is actually innocent the entire time, while the male lead that we thought was good is actually evil. It doesn't make ANY sense at all, mostly because they switched who was bad and good from the short story to movie. Also, it doesn't help that nothing happens at all during the movie. What is this, the third British movie that has very little happen and is very dull? I think so.
The riffing was surprisingly average. There were some decent riffs here and there, but for the most part I just had to watch the movie with mild indifference. Truly, the best riffing was at the very end when the detective from the beginning finally shows up.. after everything has been resolved. The host segments between Brain Guy vs. Observers was pretty funny, though again. Packer bashing? Poor call, Best Brains. Eh, It was an alright episode. 7/10
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Season Nine Episode Six: The Space Children w/short Century 21 Calling Network: Sci-Fi Channel Riffers: Tom Servo, Mike Nelson, and Crow T. Robot Mads: Pearl Forrester, Professor Bobo, and Brain Guy
Plot Synopsis (Short): An informational short featuring two overly-enthusiastic celibate teens who witness the amazing phone of the future! Marvel at the ground-breaking, state-of-the-art features such as call waiting, call conferencing, and touch-tone dialing.
Plot Synopsis (Movie): A glowing brain-like creature arrives on a beach near a rocket test site via a teleportation beam. The alien communicates telepathically with the children of scientists. The kids start doing the alien's bidding as the adults try to find out what's happening to their unruly offspring.
Host Segments:
Prologue: Servo starts a kissing booth on the SOL to raise enough money to open his own chain of kissing booths. Mike requests a "dry, perfunctory grandma kiss," but complains that it's a little too aunt-like.
Segment One: Pearl sets up a network of telephones for each person on the SOL and down in the castle so everyone can communicate more efficiently via a conference call. The resulting chaos urges Pearl to make MatBs watch the informational short Century 21 Calling... to teach them "how easy the phone of the future is!"
Segment Two: Mike gaily portrays the peppy kid in the short to an apathetic Crow and Servo. They decide to stop Mike the only way they know how: by hitting him with a wrecking ball.
Segment Three: While MatBs experiment with a model rocket, things kind of blow up in Mike's face due to a slight miscommunication. Meanwhile down in the castle, Bobo gets prepped for the first launch of Pearl's very own fledgling space program.
Segment Four: Crow forces Mike and Servo to view his new "Fashion Means Coogan" line of lingerie.
Ending Segment: The "holy blob" from the movie visits the SOL to coax Servo out of getting rid of the nuclear weapon he bought at a garage sale. Down in the castle, Pearl and Brain Guy successfully launch the rocket--without Bobo in it.
Stinger: Joe (The Professor) dead.... er, well. Acting dead. Breathing fine.
Review:
The short (The first since The Chicken of Tomorrow) sort of reminds me of Once Upon a Honeymoon, in that both sell phones, and it's not really apparent that's what the short is about until about halfway through it. Though, in the case of Once Upon a Honeymoon, you're STILL not sure if it's about telephones or not, though here it is a bit more obvious. It's weird seeing all these high tech phone ideas that becames either commonplace in the 80's or 90's, or are now obsolete to more advance technology, or both. (At one point, the male kid is seen demonstrating a beeper.)
The movie is of a plot that has been done several times. Kids start acting crazy (either due to supernatural powers or aliens or whatever) and start screwing around with the parents. It's almost amazing how quick the kids go from normal to wanting to cause harm to everyone. Shame the movie is so bad that it tends to be dull and boring. It isn't the worst movie on MST3K, though.
MatBs get plenty of mileage out of the fact that the Professor from Gilligan's Island is a drunken abusive loser in this episode. They also get more than a few riffs about the fact taht we saw Uncle Fester in shorts *shudders* There is a bit of hilarity now in 2012 as they mock the telephones "OF THE FUTURE!" from the 60's, yet here I am not fifteen years later laughing at the phone conferencing bit. Now, all of that would be done via Skype. Technology Marches On. I will say that the short is better than the movie, but it is a pretty decent episode. 7/10
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