Lurker > KogaSteelfang

pretzelcoatl posted...

i know you sometimes bum out, but in all honesty you're a great looking dude. (not to be weird)

Not weird, thank you. I just struggle really hard with depression and an unreasonable amount of self loathing.

I should say it more often how much I appreciate all of you being kind to me.

haloiscoolisbak posted...

It's the self awareness you're showing that my client lacks. He is full of hate and blame for others.

The way I see it there's only 2 options here. Blame them, or blame myself. There's 1 common denominator here and it's me. I think I probably have the same bitterness and hate as most incels, it's just focused inward instead.

haloiscoolisbak posted...

I don't think you realise how many women out there would genuinely accept you rather than make it seem like you're less than them.

Maybe, but accepting me doesn't mean that they'd want to be with me. Everyone else being able to find someone is what makes me feel inferior. I'd very much like to just be an equal.

haloiscoolisbak posted...

I say this as a 32 year old who lost it at 28.

Even your relatively late start is at least a start. You managed to find someone who wanted to be with you.

haloiscoolisbak posted...

Dating apps and perseverance.

I simply don't have this. I'll try for like 5-6 months in dating apps, and that failure added to the rest wears me down. Like I said, I can't even get a date. How am I supposed to manage anything more?

projectpat72988 posted...

Yeah but do you actually pursue relationships with whichever gender you're attracted to?

A couple of issues here. IDK how I'm supposed to pursue a relationship when I can't even get a date. Also, I'm fairly certain that I'm demisexual, at least partially I think. There is no attraction until I grow close to someone first. Well, I do sometimes get crushes on people, but it only goes beyond that if I get to know them and like them.

I don't have many options. I don't think most people realize that. They always have options, and opportunities, and have people interested in them and can't understand when a person simply has none of that.

tremain07 posted...

Like a legit ugly bastard looking motherfucker? I didn't know those existed in real life

I've met a few. But honestly, you'd have to ask them. I've been told that quite a few times, with people thinking it'd give me hope rather than make me feel inferior to said "fat ugly guy."

kurdt032 posted...

Can't imagine getting to my 40s (or 30s for that matter) and not just getting a prostitute. You must genuinely not want to have sex.

I just want to be wanted. The idea of renting someone else's body to use for own pleasure bothers me.

It's never been about the sex, but that does bother me. It's about my inability to find someone myself. About being unwanted, undesirable, and a failure.

Besides, haloiscoolisbak stated that it didn't even help the guy. I don't feel it would help me either, but instead make me feel worse that I had to resort to that just to lose a label and for someone to let me use them physically. I'd gain nothing from it.

haloiscoolisbak posted...

Like he's set a low bar.

A low bar that's still better than anything I can accomplish.

Ugh, I'm sorry, my mental health has been spiraling and this is one of my triggers. I'm going to try and get some sleep instead of complaining here.

haloiscoolisbak posted...

He's 50 and miserable.... And he's still been laid 100x thanks to prostitutes.

I have no interest in seeing a prostitute whatsoever, but this still feels like a punch in the gut. About the same as it feels someone tells me "I know a really fat ugly guy that gets laid all the time." Just makes me feel like they're more desirable than me.

I know I shouldn't feel that way over someone using prostitutes, maybe it was how it was phrases but it still hit.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/1/119a7250.jpg

Ya

STEROLIZER posted...

shyness, social awkwardness, religious attendance, abstinence from alcohol

I guess these would be my reasons.

STEROLIZER posted...

personality disorders

Potentially this too.

The fact that it bothers you to have made a few relatively minor mistakes means you care. That's the sign of a good parent. Everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect, and you're learning as you go too.

You're going to mess up, you're going to say or do things that you wish you hadn't. But that's just life, and as long as you learn from it, it's progress. Don't beat yourself up over it.

GateOfDoom posted...

I have around 300 grand saved up

O__O

nekrodev posted...

I know people that are over 30 and still can't understand that Tidus is pronouced "Tee-dus"

We understand, we just refuse to acknowledge it.

Arcanine2009 posted...

Fair point to not want a job like a call center or customer service. But talking in meetings over zoom is just expected nowadays. And every job requires an interview process.

you're a really good person who's been through a lot and a really big help to your mom. The only thing holding you back is yourself. I would say that to most people here. Fear of change. But change leads to growth.

Yeah, I know I'm holding myself back. I just don't know how to stop.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

It's been going for a year already. It's an art studio type deal where we teach art classes, let others come share their arts and crafts and teach how to do stuff, and sell our own stuff. We do all kinds of community projects too, like currently we're running a rock snake competition with all the other businesses in town and the winner gets a prize, plus an article in the newspaper about them.

I also opened an escape room in one of the spare rooms. But it seems despite my town having literally no entertainment options, that no one is interested. Probably going to just close that down and find something else instead. Currently working towards some type of overstock store. Mom has already contacted a guy that can get us pallets of items for good prices.

I'm 40 and live at home with my parents too. Rather extreme social anxiety and depression makes it difficult to function. I've never had a girlfriend or date or anything, and that tears me up, as my biggest goal in life was always to become a father and husband.

I do have some things going for me though. I do work part time at a hotel. I also had enough money saved to be able rent a place and start a small business. Though, that's not going great at the moment.

I really do feel like just a complete failure and loser.

So you're definitely not alone tc. There are lots of us here.

Shotgunnova posted...

No, I played the game on PS1 and experienced the spoiler firsthand.

This. I don't think I even had real access to the internet for several years after.

Tiles I guess. It'd be a bit inconvenient to set up first, but once they're set it'd be fantastic.

I'd have 1 at home for obvious reasons.
1 at work to cut out the travel.
I'd put 1 at the beach for instant vacation mode whenever I feel like.
Maybe 1 at the doctor's office just for convenience.

Can't really think of a good place for the 5th. I guess either just save it as a spare, or maybe put it at the grocery store.

The ability to cause people around you to get a faint whiff of popcorn.

Jiek_Fafn posted...

I always feel the strong pull to say that I want to punch your dad in the face

Honestly, the worst part was how he always trash talked me to everyone he knew. He was always ashamed of me, but if any of his buddies were around he'd get furious if I didn't come say hi, only for him to start insulting me in front of them, and having them laugh at me. I eventually started refusing to leave my room, but I'd hear him talking about me anyway and how pathetic I am for not leaving my room. Then he's just beat me for embarrassing him afterwards, but that easier to recover from than being humiliated in front of them all.

Dungeater posted...

and fed me my own vomit

Ew, I'm so sorry that happened to you. Mine never went that far.

He was absolutely abusive. Physically and mentally. He's always putting us down, and he used to be violent. It's all just been threats for about 12 years though. I think he's trying to coast in his old behavior to make us still fear him, but he's just a joke. He always was, but I didn't realize that as a kid.

12.25

Ya.

https://imgur.com/gallery/TBbXL3o

My dog and a baby deer.
Edit: Of course it didn't work, click it to see the video.

I've been pretty vocal about how my dad abused me. It really messed me up.

I'm not sure I can recover, even if things change for me.

I'll Steve your Buschemi.

elizajanegirl posted...

What state are you in Koga? (if you are in the states that is). I am in boring Chicago. It's kinda cool to be in a big city but I much prefer the mountains. I am a mountains over beach girl. Maybe when I an older I will want warmth and sun, but now I just want mountains and hiking trails! We don't have any of that at all near me. Sucks.

I'm in Virginia. I've only been to the beach twice and I loved it both times. I guess it's just because it was a new experience.

Nice! I hope they keep visiting. I live in the mountains so I'm used to lots of wildlife being around. It's nice to be reminded to appreciate it. :)

Here's a pic of a flock of turkeys in my backyard a few days ago.
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/2a0fe921.jpg
Thats like 10 seconds before my dad's horse chased them away.

bsp77 posted...

This is part of why I say that you have never really truly tried to get dates

Seems to be worth trying

That feels a little unfair to choose some arbitrary event, then claim "if you've never _____, then you've never truly tried at all."

STEROLIZER posted...

I use to think that it wasnt possible for a person to actively want to be miserable. But my view on the matter has changed over the years.

Oh... Y'know what, I'm not in the mood to argue. Whatever you guys wanna say or believe, you're right.

I own 2 of the three TV's in our house. One in my bedroom which I use the most. Dad has his in the living room. I bought a new TV and we set our spare room for a gaming room for my 10 year old cousin.

I only use the living room and gaming room TV's every once in a while. Dad hogs his and I only really use it after he goes to bed and that's just to find something for Mom to watch. I play games with my cousin some, but not a ton. Don't use that tv unless he's here.

Not much. Only when I'm not paying attention and then see that I'm like 5 over or something and slow down a bit.

They said I was overqualified.

I've never been to either.

I didn't care much for this episode. Nothing too interesting happened till the end, and it was just a bit of a cliffhanger for a future episode.

It's just a picture, so sure. I'm in plenty of pictures with people I don't like.

action52 posted...

And yet people believe they might just walk naked into somebody's house? And wouldn't even hide themselves enough to avoid being seen by a camera?

Yeah, they Photoshop fake looking alien nudes into the videos as a prank. To cover the real alien stealing the id from the wallet.

ShaneMcComez posted...

I saw the MST3K version a few years ago.

"I'm just going to say it... Nice thigh gap "

C-zom posted...

I haven't, but I have been roofied before. Worst few days of my entire life. I went to a bar to meet up with a girl I'd been talking to. Ordered a drink, she did too, and then we both were idiots and went outside for a smoke.

I remember going inside, taking a sip, smiling at her and then waking up in the hospital two days later. Just like that. As ridiculous as it sounds, it was sheer teleportation. Blink, and her face is replaced my hospital lights.

Unreal amounts of Xanax in my system. Wallet emptied, my debit and credit card were run to the max at the same bar (Stolen by whoever drugged me, I imagine.) my expensive prescription glasses were nowhere to be found and one shoe was gone. I never quite heard how it all went down, because I never heard from her again. In time, I suspected she did it and robbed me.

Holy crap, glad you're ok. Sorry that happened.

Reassemble! Reassemble, Stephanie!

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/f/fab7fc63.jpg

Nah, he thinks I live to support him.

Bass_X0 posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/8/8164f708.jpg

That's me, finally about grasp freedom and life without him and he's reaching out to stop it from happening.

That's awesome!

Once as an infant. Then another when I was 9 to remove some damaged intestines.

Crayon_Lover posted...

When was the last time you tried to flirt with a woman?

I'm not brave enough to.

? Block.
5913 karma.

Terrible.

NoxObscuras posted...

Yeah, unfortunately there are women out there like that. I had a woman do that to me when I was 20. Basically we went on dates, and she acted all interested. I even met her mom and her mom thought I'd make a good boyfriend for her... But she was stringing me along the whole time. Just a little more and she'd officially become my girlfriend. Just a little more to impress her... over and over. I genuinely believe she only kept me around because she liked the attention I gave her. Eventually I said screw this and moved on. Started talking to other women.

One day she called me while I was with my girlfriend at the time. I was like "I'm sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm hanging out with my girlfriend" and she never called me again after that lol.

But don't let that experience stop you from putting yourself out there again. There are great women out there.

Yeah, the difference is that you had options rather early in life. And assuming you were relatively successful since you found a gf right away after.

The one I mentioned has been the only person IRL to ever give me that kind of attention. First and last.

IdiotMachine posted...

You look fine, Dustin.

Thank you. I guess it just hit a nerve or something.