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TopicWaffle's Big Movie Discussion topic
HotLap
07/27/18 1:12:48 AM
#238
WafflehouseJK posted...
I loved Incredibles 2 tbh, it was basically a perfect sequel IMO.

Haven't heard of What We Do In The Shadows, but it sounds interesting.


Here's the trailer. If you like Flight of the Conchords's style of humor, this is definitely for you.


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TopicWaffle's Big Movie Discussion topic
HotLap
07/26/18 11:59:49 PM
#235
I saw What We Do In The Shadows the other day and it was one of the funniest movies I've seen in recent memory. It knew exactly what it wanted to be and it knocked it out of the park.
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TopicLol I actually laughed pretty hard despite it being FRIENDS. spoilers
HotLap
07/26/18 11:53:11 PM
#46
This is probably my favorite Friends moment.

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Topicoh wow a guy helped an old lady cross the street, faith in humanity restored!
HotLap
07/22/18 12:06:15 PM
#3
That old lady's name? Joseph Kony.
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TopicMy grandpa just died and left me $6.5 million. he was the CEO of Sweet n Low.
HotLap
07/22/18 9:22:30 AM
#188
Sorry for your loss, dude.
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TopicIs Colin Kaepernick's NFL career dead?
HotLap
07/20/18 12:45:27 AM
#30
Delirious_Beard posted...
would rather have him QB my team than bortles


Thanks for letting me know upfront that I should never take your NFL opinions seriously.
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TopicCarmelo Anthony traded to Atlanta
HotLap
07/19/18 6:26:25 PM
#3
Lol back with Jeremy Lin. Poor Jeremy.

Edit: Nvm, the Hawks are going to waive him.
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TopicWhat if Hilary ran again but with Bernie as her VP. Can they beat Trump in 2020?
HotLap
07/19/18 1:11:20 PM
#6
Hillary is done, she'll never get the nomination again.
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TopicI'm really alone in the world.
HotLap
07/19/18 12:24:09 AM
#8
ReggieBush09 posted...
My mom just told me she love me

da feels man.


Slurp it dry, brother.
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.
TopicI'm really alone in the world.
HotLap
07/19/18 12:10:42 AM
#4
LedZeppelin posted...
you know what you have to do


Slurp it dry, brother.
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TopicJackbox games are super fun.
HotLap
07/19/18 12:04:44 AM
#5
I love Jackbox games, especially Quiplash. We should try to do a CE Jackbox session.
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TopicIf you had to move to Canada, what province would you live in? And why?
HotLap
07/18/18 11:16:14 PM
#26
Ontario, I have family that lives in Kingston.
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TopicHow are you CE?
HotLap
07/18/18 11:14:17 PM
#8
MabusIncarnate posted...
HotLap posted...
House sitting for my parents. They still have their PS2 hooked up so I'm getting drunk and playing through the original Ratchet & Clank games.

Nice, sounds like a good night.


Hell yeah, I have until Saturday to get through UYA. What are you up to?
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TopicHow are you CE?
HotLap
07/18/18 10:52:39 PM
#5
House sitting for my parents. They still have their PS2 hooked up so I'm getting drunk and playing through the original Ratchet & Clank games.
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TopicWhich Game of Thrones scene had the biggest impact on you? *TV Show spoilers*
HotLap
07/18/18 10:47:55 PM
#20
I read the books, so the Red Wedoing and The Viper vs The Mountain I saw coming (granted they were still done very well).

"Hold the Door" got me really good. Thr fact that a character who could only say one word and was mainly used for comic relief had such a tragic backstory (through no fault of his own) and died a hero's death... Fuck dude.
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TopicWhat kind of drunk are you?
HotLap
07/18/18 6:36:57 PM
#9
I'm even better at repressing my feelings drunk than I am sober.
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TopicCYOA: You've been hypnotized into lying every time you speak.
HotLap
07/18/18 4:35:40 PM
#66
Bump.
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Topicwhat should i know before i head to LA and san fran?
HotLap
07/18/18 2:39:35 PM
#18
Parappa09 posted...
MC_BatCommander posted...
Which highway will you take between SF and LA?

1 and 101

were hoping that the construction work will be complete by the time we arrive, so we dont need to detour

also spending a night at cambria


My sweet summer child.
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TopicI wish cussing was not allowed here again.
HotLap
07/18/18 1:36:01 PM
#24
You're a gosh dang butthead, TC. Truly, a crazy motherfunner.
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TopicTrump: Russia no longer targeting U.S.
HotLap
07/18/18 1:31:40 PM
#18
OzymandiasIV posted...
HotLap posted...
gikos posted...
i try to stay out of this mess since i am not a american but
(O_o)?
what does putin have on him that he is willing to throw himself like this


He interfered with the election on Trump's behalf. I don't think we have enough evidence to say that the interference was enough to swing the election result, but it certainly seems that Trump is fine selling out American democracy because it benefited him.


So long as they can prove Trump sought or accepted help, it doesn't matter how effective the help was.


Oh agreed, 100%. If they can prove that, it's fucking treason, regardless if he would have won anyways.
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Topicce what is your go to karaoke song
HotLap
07/18/18 1:23:51 PM
#7
The Ghostbusters theme song by Ray Parker Jr.
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TopicHow low would someone's iq have to be to believe Trump misspoke?
HotLap
07/18/18 1:22:04 PM
#9
"I misspoke for a full 40 minutes and a couple times after that. But really smart intelligence people like what I said while I was misspeaking."
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TopicTrump: Russia no longer targeting U.S.
HotLap
07/18/18 1:20:17 PM
#8
gikos posted...
i try to stay out of this mess since i am not a american but
(O_o)?
what does putin have on him that he is willing to throw himself like this


He interfered with the election on Trump's behalf. I don't think we have enough evidence to say that the interference was enough to swing the election result, but it certainly seems that Trump is fine selling out American democracy because it benefited him.
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TopicI fucked Ted
HotLap
07/18/18 11:22:48 AM
#2
I got dipping sticks.
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TopicCYOA: You've been hypnotized into lying every time you speak.
HotLap
07/18/18 12:53:15 AM
#60
You quickly tuck the paper plate into your bee costume while trying to think of how to proceed but all you've got so far is "shit."

What do you do?

A) Take off your shoes and hide them in the dumpster.
B) Stay at the crime scene and explain everything to the police as best you can.
C) Head inside the bar and try to find a way to wash off the blood.
D) Remove your shoes and start walking home, keeping an eye out for ways to clean the blood on the way.
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.
TopicCYOA: You've been hypnotized into lying every time you speak.
HotLap
07/18/18 12:52:37 AM
#59
"911, my name is Bettie. What's your emergency?" a woman's voice with a southern twang answers your call.
"Hi, I was just walking down the street near JJ's Tavern and found a dead woman in a Scooby Doo outfit in the alleyway," you report.
"Mmhmm, and how do you know it's a woman?" she asks.
This wasn't one of the questions you were prepared to answer. You look down at the victim. The costume she's wearing is similar to what the costumes that are worn in Times Square look like, big and blocky. The only reasons you were able to tell she was a woman were her voice and her lowered hood. "Uh, wh-what?"
"She's dressed like Scooby Doo, but you knew she was a girl? Was it one of those slutty Scooby Doo costumes with her titties hanging out?" Bettie asks.
"Um, yeah," you reply. Did the 911 operator just say titties?
"And you're sure she's dead, Daddy?"
"Did you just call me Daddy?" you ask bewildered.
"Aw shit, I'm sorry, Papi. My last job before this one was a phone sex operator. I was doing that for almost twenty years. I'm still new at this and old habits die hard I guess," Bettie explains. "So there's a big breasted Scooby in an alleyway?"
"Yeah I just found her like this, so I'm calling it in. That's all I know," you inform her. Bald, jowls, Van Dyke beard. Bald, jowls, Van Dyke beard. You repeat the man's appearance in your mind over and over again. You don't want to forget him. You might not be able to tonight, but you vow you'll find a way to pass along the information soon.
"And you said the alleyway is outside JJ's Tavern?" Bettie looks for confirmation.
"Yeah it's the alley between JJ's and Mitchell's Bakery." You're not sure what the building next to JJ's is, but it's sure not a pretend bakery.
"Okay," Bettie replies. "And it's still alright if I call you Daddy?"
"Yeah, sure. Whatever," you squirm.
"Does it make you horny?" Bettie whispers.
"Focus, Bettie!" you shout, avoiding the question.
"You need to remain calm, sir! I'm trying to help the best I can," Bettie defends herself. "Now, did you check her pulse?"
"Yep."
"And?"
"She's been shot like three times, so...it wasn't a great pulse," you answer.
Bettie follows up with, "It wasn't strong, but there was a pulse?"
"I don't what I felt, Bettie. Can you just send someone over?" you plead.
"Okay, as I send the police over, I want you to close your eyes. Picture me taking off my blouse and covering the victim's perky Scoobs," Bettie breathes intimately into her headset.
"You're so professional, Bettie. I can't tell you're new at this at all," you compliment her.
"As you release a single tear for all the needless violence in this world, I unzip my skirt and reveal I haven't been wearing any panties this whole time. I quickly-"
"Bettie! Do you need anything else from me?" you cut her off.
"Just one more question, Daddy."
"What is it?"
"Are you turned on?" she says softly.
"NO, BETTIE! I'M NOT TURNED ON, I'M ONLY SCARED!" you admit shamefully. "Are the police on the way?!"
"Yes, they're on-"

You drop Scooby's cell phone once you hear the confirmation. It lands directly on the victim's chest hole and causes a small blood splash. Luckily, none of the blood from the splash got on you. Unluckily, the blood pool below the woman expanded while you were on the phone with a 911 operator who is surely to be fired in a matter of hours. The front half of your shoes are now standing in a blood puddle.
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.
TopicCYOA: You've been hypnotized into lying every time you speak.
HotLap
07/18/18 12:52:09 AM
#58
A) Call 911 on the victim's phone.

You take a few deep breaths through gritted teeth to summon the courage to come out from behind the dumpster. As you slowly creep over to the downed dog, you think to yourself, "Maybe she's not actually dead. She only got shot like twice, maximum." You take the final step and are now standing directly over the victim. Nope. She's very dead. This is the most dead person you've ever seen. You think back to the only other dead person you've seen, your father at his wake. Without a doubt, this Scooby lady is more dead than that guy who's been dead for three years. She's so dead, you just called your dead dad "that guy." She's got a bullet slightly left of the center of her chest and another straight in the middle of her forehead. Blood is draining from her head and streaking through her blonde hair. Her eyes have fully rolled back into head as if she's watching her own skull drain.

Someone should probably be told about this. You think about heading inside and telling Reggie about the murder, but your mind drifts back to middle school. You were sitting in seventh grade History when your friend Pete came back from the bathroom and took his seat next to yours. He leaned over and whispered, "Dude, I'm not gonna tell you what's going on, but you need to go to the bathroom."
"What- What's going on in the bathroom?" you ask anyways.
"You have to see for yourself," he says unsurprisingly.
You checked out the hall pass and fearfully marched toward the bathroom. You creak open the door and see the weirdest kid in school, Richard Blanchard laying completely naked on his clothes just going to town on himself. He was technically in a stall, but the bottom of the stall wall is a couple feet from the floor, so he was still in full fucking view of everybody. You gave a solemn nod to mourn the loss of your innocence and slowly closed the door before Richard noticed you.
You returned to your seat, changed for the worse, and asked Pete, "What are we going to do?"
Pete told you he's not going to do anything, leaving you to have the extremely uncomfortable conversation with your teacher about Richard masturbating in the bathroom. It didn't end your friendship, but deep down inside you never forgave Pete for what he did. You never needed to see that. You will never unsee the things you saw in that middle school bathroom. The sight of Richard's richard was Pete's burden to bear, he didn't have to make it yours too.

The sight of this dead Scooby is your burden to bear. Reggie already lives a more complicated life by allowing you to live with him, he doesn't need to see this. You'll have to deal with this on your own. You reach for your cell phone, but stop yourself. You're literally unable to tell the truth and are unsure of what's going to come out of your mouth at any given moment. Maybe you shouldn't report a murder on a phone that can be traced back to you.

The woman's phone is lying on the ground against the brick building next to JJ's. You reach to pick it up, but remember that fingerprints are a thing.You nudge open the dumpster with your elbow and find a dirty paper plate near the top. You use the plate like a crab hand and pick up her phone, but find that it's not responding to the touch of the paper plate. You crouch down next to the victim and shudder as you use several boops of her nose in order to place an emergency call. You take a deep breath. Emergency phone operators usually ask the same series of questions, it should be easy to skirt around the truth while still being helpful. You can do this.
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.
TopicDo you like cake?
HotLap
07/17/18 10:32:57 PM
#14
DocileOrangeCup posted...
NeoShadowhen posted...
I do not.


That's only because you've seen what people to do cakes.
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TopicYour favorite pokemon of all time?
HotLap
07/17/18 10:28:36 PM
#36
Goodra. Solely because when I was playing through Moon I caught a Goomy and named it Jon Arbuckle. For some reason I named all my Pokemon after Garfield characters in that playthrough. Seeing this blobby mess come out of its Pokeball with goo dripping off of it then seeing the name Jon Arbuckle appear made me laugh every time.
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TopicBored as Hell. AMA.
HotLap
07/17/18 8:33:21 PM
#18
Sayoria posted...
HotLap posted...
Does insurance cover sex change surgery (and the follow up surgeries you mentioned) or do you have to pay for all of it out of pocket? How much do they cost? Always been curious.


Insurance covers depending on where you live and who you see.
Surgeries can cost upward of 20,000 dollars in the states. Here in Mass, many of our insurance companies cover it 100%.


I actually live in MA too and I never knew that. Go MA!
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TopicBored as Hell. AMA.
HotLap
07/17/18 8:20:16 PM
#4
Does insurance cover sex change surgery (and the follow up surgeries you mentioned) or do you have to pay for all of it out of pocket? How much do they cost? Always been curious.
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.
TopicA friend drove to my place last night and hasn't left
HotLap
07/17/18 8:05:02 PM
#14
DarthGravid posted...
catboy0_0 posted...
leave him be and let him let it all out


This is the correct answer. He needs a friend and support. Give him his space, but be available.


Yeah if it only happened last night, he's still going through it. He made a great choice by being proactive and scheduling a therapist appointment. A couple days to just let it out is completely normal.
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Topicpoor pupper
HotLap
07/17/18 7:59:10 PM
#2
very rowdy boi
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.
TopicCYOA: You've been hypnotized into lying every time you speak.
HotLap
07/17/18 7:56:37 PM
#57
Gonna start writing the update now but just giving it a bump so it doesn't purge while I'm writing it. I know I have 6 hours but I get distracted very easily.
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.
Topicwhy did Sacha Baron Cohen trick Bernie Sanders?
HotLap
07/16/18 7:46:23 PM
#19
CrimsonRage posted...
BignutzisBack posted...
Him going after both sides makes me even more interested in his new show tbh


i don't know why it's so important to go after "both sides". both sides aren't equally dumb.


Shows a lack of bias. If he only went after the right then people would try to dismiss his show because he's only attacking conservatives. If he goes after everyone, it's easier to take what he's trying to do more seriously.
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Topicwho is the most attractive female user on current events now
HotLap
07/16/18 11:48:46 AM
#11
@Parappa09
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TopicCYOA: You've been hypnotized into lying every time you speak.
HotLap
07/15/18 10:38:10 PM
#54
A-3
C-2
BC-1
CD-1
D-1

Can't update tonight, tomorrow is a maybe. Thanks for the patience as always.
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Topicwelp i take boards tomorrow
HotLap
07/15/18 10:09:54 PM
#3
Good luck!
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.
TopicThe 40 hour work week is fucking ridiculous - needs to be abolished ASAP
HotLap
07/15/18 9:47:14 PM
#9
Keep work days 8-9 hours, but make it 4 days instead of 5.
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.
TopicLarge boobs topic
HotLap
07/15/18 9:45:53 PM
#7
She looks like she's holding egg salad in her mouth.
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TopicYour reaction: A Librarian become president in 2020.
HotLap
07/15/18 9:41:56 PM
#3
One of my buddies is a librarian. Is it him? Is he president?
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TopicHow do I tell if i have big dick or small dick energy?
HotLap
07/15/18 5:50:42 PM
#3
Corrupt_Power posted...
If you have to ask, small

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TopicWhy can we say the c word for penis, but not the c word for vagina?
HotLap
07/15/18 10:09:02 AM
#31
UnfairRepresent posted...
Same reason you can say buttface but you can't say n*****


So buttface is the culturally acceptable way of saying the n-word, huh?
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TopicATTN: Cute CEmen in the LA area
HotLap
07/15/18 6:19:18 AM
#7
Parappa09 posted...
wait a few more weeks until im in LA


When you coming back to Boston bb
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.
TopicI have a butt problem
HotLap
07/14/18 9:05:27 PM
#10
DocileOrangeCup posted...
Johnny_Nutcase posted...
SauI_Goodman posted...
do you like fart porn


That sounds riveting.

You know what I like the most?


Cake farts. :)
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.
TopicCYOA: You've been hypnotized into lying every time you speak.
HotLap
07/14/18 5:33:58 PM
#51
WafflehouseJK posted...


I'm guessing "E) track the shooter down and sting him" isn't an option?


He got in a car and sped off, your car is two blocks away. He's long gone, for now at least.
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.
TopicImagine having Trumper parents
HotLap
07/14/18 5:32:03 PM
#3
southcoast09 posted...
My whole family thinks Fox News is ridiculous, but we voted for Trump.


Same here. Except for me voting for Trump.
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.
TopicCYOA: You've been hypnotized into lying every time you speak.
HotLap
07/14/18 3:45:25 AM
#44
"Oh shit," you whisper as you move fully behind the dumpster. You put your face to the ground to try to witness the scene through the gap between the dumpster and the ground, but you can only see the parties from the knees down.
"Okay..." you hear the woman say, voice wavering. "Is that a silencer?"
There's no answer from the guy, just heavy breathing. He's turned a corner he can't unturn and is thinking of his next move.
"That is a silencer," Scooby sighs before thinking aloud. "This wasn't a spur of the moment thing. You planned this.... But it only started getting bad recently, I don't think you could have gotten... Have you done this bef-"

Scooby's sentence is cut short by what sounds like someone punching a stapler twice. As you see the woman's body hit the pavement you stop breathing. Her phone clatters across the blacktop and rests against the brick building you're pressed against. She's lying perfectly still, a pool of blood starting to surround her. You don't want to turn your head away, fearing it'll make a sound, so you just shut your eyes tight and pray the man doesn't walk this way. As he stands over his victim, all you can hear is his labored breathing, broken up by an occasional sob. You keep clenching your eyes shut so tight you start to see lights sparking off like fireworks in your head. You hear quick footsteps exit the alleyway, the slam of a door, and a car speeding away.

You open your eyes. His knees are gone, there's only the woman staring blankly at the sky.

You really wish you could walk back that "Ruh-roh" joke. What do you do?

A) Call 911 on the victim's phone.
B) Call 911 from your phone.
C) Go inside and tell Reggie what happened.
D) Go meet some new people with Reggie. But keep it light!

Sorry if there are more typos in this one, it's like 4AM and I'm pretty buzzed.
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.
TopicCYOA: You've been hypnotized into lying every time you speak.
HotLap
07/14/18 3:44:18 AM
#43
"Well shit, man. I know you have a deep well of misery you could mine from as a doctor, but can you keep it light this year?" Reggie pleads. "Talk about Bee Movie or something."
"I've never seen Bee Movie before," you say before giving him the slightest of nods.
"Okay." Reggie gets up from the table. "Light, please. I'm begging you. Let's go talk to some more people."
"In a sec, I need to put some urine inside me," you tell him as you head toward the door to the alley. It's been three years and you still haven't found a non-gross way to say you're going to the bathroom.
"You really can't just suck it up and go inside?"
"I told you, Reggie," you answer. "The bathrooms here are just too pristine and I won't tarnish them."

You head into the alley. To the left is a dumpster then a dead end. To the right is the street. You position yourself behind JJ's dumpster and look down at where your endophallus should be. Wow, you really didn't think about pissing when you put this bee onesie on and then more clothes over the onesie. You peer out from behind the dumpster toward the street. Coast seems to be clear. You retract your arms into your onesie, ready to fully disrobe when you hear what sounds like an argument coming into the opening of the alleyway.
"Leave me alone!" you hear a woman shout.
You immediately crouch down behind the dumpster and try to glance around the edge. Realizing your antennae are still on, you reach up to take them off to avoid detection, but your arms are still inside your costume. You quietly attempt to scrape your antennae on the brick wall to knock them off your head. The antennae flip down to dangle beneath your chin, but are still firmly attached to your face. Good enough, at least they won't stick out from behind the dumpster.

A blonde woman walks into the alley holding her cell phone. You can't make out any other features, as her back is to you and she's wearing a full body Scooby Doo costume. The hood is Scooby's head, which has been pulled down so she can argue with the next alleyway entrant. He's a bald, jowly man with a Van Dyke beard who appears to be in his late twenties. He's wearing a hooded sweatshirt, with his arms folded inside as if he's pouting, and not trapped in a bee outfit. The sweatshirt doesn't appear to be a part of a costume, unless his costume is a fatter, bald Vince Gilligan.
The guy keeps repeating phrases like "come on" and "just listen to me" while the woman is repeating "oh my god" and "stop."
Eventually the woman cuts through the repetition with, "Do I seriously need to get a restraining order on you?"
Oh damn, it's getting real. "Ruh roh," you mutter under your breath.
Scooby continues, "I came here with my friends to relax and have fun and to forget about all your bullshit and you show up anyway."
"I just really need to talk to you," he says.
"There's nothing to talk about, dude. I didn't even tell you I was coming here. How did you find me? Are you stalking me?" she demands.
The man denies the accusation. "No, of course not."
"Then how did you know?"
No response.
"Fine, fuck it. I'm getting a restraining order," she says as she takes a step back toward the street.
"Stop!" he shouts as he pulls a revolver out of his hoodie and points it at Scooby. There appears to be a silencer spun on to the end of it.
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.
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