I have been in this situation many times, its best to not say anything until she's single imo
I'd say wait and do it in person. That's the sort of conversation that needs to be two-way, not dumped on her all at once via a text essay.
Move on. She is in a relationship, end of.
Stop antagonising yourself and closing yourself off from meeting someone else, someone much better may be waiting just round the corner.
She already has a boyfriend.
Why would you want to lose a friend?
Don't stop talking to her just because she is dating someone else.
why do so many guys ware like a year to tell a girl they like them?
its literally never going to happen if you wait that long
um 99.9% of the time, if you havent hit it within a day or two of seeing each other then its not gonna happen.
Move on. She is in a relationship, end of.
Just be friends, and be happy with that.
You're going to make it worse for everyone involved.
What Im not going to do is invest time and emotion into someone who doesnt feel the same way I do.
why do you need to confess your feelings for her? you're just laying a guilt trip on her that she isn't asking for. you're putting her in a horrible situation.
how are you getting taken advantage of? she has offered you friendship. it's not her fault that that is not enough for you.
Wait isn't friends with benefits a thing? Isn't the friend zone just an excuse to hit it occasionally now and not have to deal with real relationship stuff?
OmegaTomHank posted...
What Im not going to do is invest time and emotion into someone who doesnt feel the same way I do.
But you are, and you have been, because you're weak.
Wait isn't friends with benefits a thing? Isn't the friend zone just an excuse to hit it occasionally now and not have to deal with real relationship stuff?
Yeah you certainly are being taken advantage of by continuing to expect a girl who doesnt find you desirable to suddenly change the way she feels and what she is attracted to simply because you are being nice
Seriously dude this is some incel logic
And Im declining. Much like she has the opportunity to decline me wanting more.
See how it works? Two way street.
I have no idea yet if she finds me desirable.
We also both think each other are physically attractive.
OmegaTomHank posted...
And Im declining. Much like she has the opportunity to decline me wanting more.
See how it works? Two way street.
declining what? her friendship? you didn't address any part of my post.
you can't just literally tell her you don't want to be friends anymore without laying your emotional baggage at her feet?
OmegaTomHank posted...
And Im declining. Much like she has the opportunity to decline me wanting more.
See how it works? Two way street.
declining what? her friendship? you didn't address any part of my post.
you can't just literally tell her you don't want to be friends anymore without laying your emotional baggage at her feet?
OmegaTomHank posted...
I have no idea yet if she finds me desirable.
OmegaTomHank posted...
We also both think each other are physically attractive.
So do you know or do to not know?
Jen0125 posted...
OmegaTomHank posted...
And Im declining. Much like she has the opportunity to decline me wanting more.
See how it works? Two way street.
declining what? her friendship? you didn't address any part of my post.
you can't just literally tell her you don't want to be friends anymore without laying your emotional baggage at her feet?
Or don't even just tell her that, just hang out with her less for now and let her choose if she wants to seek you out and do things with you. If she does, and you don't anymore, then turn her down, if she doesn't even bother trying to hang with you, then just let it die and move on. No reason to make it something complicated.
Yes. I though that was obvious.
And I think someone who you have an amazing bond and chemistry with telling you randomly they dont want to be friends with you with zero explanation would probably be more harmful than me telling her the truth. Im not going to be an asshole about it, just going to tell straight up if shes happy in her relationship thats fine but we cant be any closer than we are currently.
You make little sense.
wolfy42 posted...
Jen0125 posted...
OmegaTomHank posted...
And Im declining. Much like she has the opportunity to decline me wanting more.
See how it works? Two way street.
declining what? her friendship? you didn't address any part of my post.
you can't just literally tell her you don't want to be friends anymore without laying your emotional baggage at her feet?
Or don't even just tell her that, just hang out with her less for now and let her choose if she wants to seek you out and do things with you. If she does, and you don't anymore, then turn her down, if she doesn't even bother trying to hang with you, then just let it die and move on. No reason to make it something complicated.
Yeah Id consider this but this is childish so Id rather not.
OmegaTomHank posted...
Yes. I though that was obvious.
And I think someone who you have an amazing bond and chemistry with telling you randomly they dont want to be friends with you with zero explanation would probably be more harmful than me telling her the truth. Im not going to be an asshole about it, just going to tell straight up if shes happy in her relationship thats fine but we cant be any closer than we are currently.
You make little sense.
no, you make little sense.
you're going to unload on this chick for no reason. you're acting like she's wrong you somehow by not being available for you to date. you're not mature enough to be friends with someone you're attracted to because they have a boyfriend.
i'm sure you're a real "nice guy" tlc.
For the record, she asked for my number twice and I told her no twice. She gave me a look that killed me inside and inventually acquiesced. This sort of thing isnt healthy or mature or positive. You cant just constantly acquiesce because you have good chemistry with someone and get along well.
If you want to be friends genuinely then fine, but it has to be a mutual decision much like a romance would be. Not one of the two having deep seated, underlying intentions.
OmegaTomHank posted...
For the record, she asked for my number twice and I told her no twice. She gave me a look that killed me inside and inventually acquiesced. This sort of thing isnt healthy or mature or positive. You cant just constantly acquiesce because you have good chemistry with someone and get along well.
she asked you for your number because you portrayed yourself as a friend. again, you're about to unload on this chick for no reason other than your selfishness.
Muscles posted...
I have been in this situation many times, its best to not say anything until she's single imo
Never been in this situation but this is the answer. If she did things that made it obvious she liked you (from the OP it looks like you really are just a friend) than I would actually say go for it
It's all about reading this situation. Best thing to do in situations like this is look at the picture from different perspectives and not just your own
OmegaTomHank posted...
If you want to be friends genuinely then fine, but it has to be a mutual decision much like a romance would be. Not one of the two having deep seated, underlying intentions.
no one is saying you need to force yourself to be friends with her but it is extremely immature to profess your feelings for her knowing she has a boyfriend and putting her in that position. especially someone you need to work with? come on, dude.
whatever dude. have fun losing your friend and making someone feel bad for no reason.
mastermix3000 posted...
Muscles posted...
I have been in this situation many times, its best to not say anything until she's single imo
Never been in this situation but this is the answer. If she did things that made it obvious she liked you (from the OP it looks like you really are just a friend) than I would actually say go for it
It's all about reading this situation. Best thing to do in situations like this is look at the picture from different perspectives and not just your own
Here's a perspective
My S.O. of 17 years was in a serious relationship with my best friend when I told her flat out that after all the time we were spending together, a platonic relationship wasn't going to work for me. That was absolutely, positively the right thing to do. In fact, it was probably best for everyone in the long run - once the dust settled everyone in that love triangle had a better relationship with each other afterward than before. The friend in that arrangement went on to get married to someone he's crazy about and have kids. Not in that order, and not the same women, but hey, it worked out.
Jen0125 posted...
whatever dude. have fun losing your friend and making someone feel bad for no reason.
He's a shitty friend. She is better off without him.
Kungfu Kenobi posted...
mastermix3000 posted...
Muscles posted...
I have been in this situation many times, its best to not say anything until she's single imo
Never been in this situation but this is the answer. If she did things that made it obvious she liked you (from the OP it looks like you really are just a friend) than I would actually say go for it
It's all about reading this situation. Best thing to do in situations like this is look at the picture from different perspectives and not just your own
Here's a perspective
My S.O. of 17 years was in a serious relationship with my best friend when I told her flat out that after all the time we were spending together, a platonic relationship wasn't going to work for me. That was absolutely, positively the right thing to do. In fact, it was probably best for everyone in the long run - once the dust settled everyone in that love triangle had a better relationship with each other afterward than before. The friend in that arrangement went on to get married to someone he's crazy about and have kids. Not in that order, and not the same women, but hey, it worked out.
Im suprised he didnt try to fight you.
Jen and Susan are literally exhibit A on the Twitter meme of some indignant woman acting so bitter about asshole guys who they reject and have the audacity to lose interest in them.
The hypocrisy is astounding too.
Do you seriously expect her to leave her boyfriend for you simply because you're acting weird?
You're about to lose a friend over your own nonsense.
Obviously her friendship means very little to you if you're willing to drop it so easily.
I don't believe you have a lot of respect for this woman.