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Current Events > Old Simpsons jokes you remember randomly part 4: Simpsons on Patrol

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WilliamPorygon
10/18/23 1:17:53 AM
#151:


Worst Cosmic Wars ever! I will only see it three more times... today.

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Fin_Dawg_004
10/18/23 1:19:43 AM
#152:


"Hello Homer. This is God....frey Jones from the TV magazine show Rock Bottom."

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Ruthkanda Forever
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masterpug53
10/18/23 10:02:59 AM
#153:


"Wow, your story is very compelling, Mr. Jackass...I mean, uh, Simpson! So I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter."

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Dungeater
10/18/23 10:04:24 AM
#154:


Oh, go eat some flowers!

ah! My secret shame!

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AloneIBreak
10/18/23 7:04:38 PM
#155:


Okay folks, shows over. Nothing to see here. Shows OH MY GOD A HORRIBLE PLANE CRASH! Hey, everybody! Get a load of this flaming wreckage! Come on crowd around. Crowd around. Dont be shy, crowd around.

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YugiNoob
10/18/23 7:44:50 PM
#156:


Marge: Sweetheart, a missing crayon could be anywhere.
Homer: *jumps through the window* Who wants lottery tickets?!
Marge: Okay, its in his brain

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masterpug53
10/19/23 10:05:41 AM
#157:


AloneIBreak posted...
Okay folks, shows over. Nothing to see here. Shows OH MY GOD A HORRIBLE PLANE CRASH! Hey, everybody! Get a load of this flaming wreckage! Come on crowd around. Crowd around. Dont be shy, crowd around.

"Oh my god...someone's taken a bite out of the giant Rice Krispies square! ...Oh, and the waiter's been brutally beaten."

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Jeff_AKA_Snoopy
10/19/23 3:45:03 PM
#158:


https://youtu.be/hAsQrOLfYzY?si=r-c1SoUPF_6bTUBz

Specifically, "Do it for Chewy and the Ewoks... and.... all the other puppets!"

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Garabandal
10/19/23 3:46:50 PM
#159:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LbExEydMKg

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HylianFox
10/19/23 3:50:22 PM
#160:


Jeff_AKA_Snoopy posted...
Specifically, "Do it for Chewy and the Ewoks... and.... all the other puppets!"

"LUKE BE A JEDI TOOOOONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!"

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Bad_Mojo
10/19/23 3:52:09 PM
#161:


The kids stayed with Simpson so they could get away with murder

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WilliamPorygon
10/19/23 4:05:01 PM
#162:


"Hey, I thought you said Troy McClure was dead!"
"No, what I said was 'he sleeps with the fishes.' You see"
"Uh, Tony, please, no. I just ate a whole plate of dingamagoo."

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-Unowninator-
10/19/23 4:19:27 PM
#163:


https://youtu.be/ZubDyJh7OyI

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Darkraiomb
10/19/23 4:20:19 PM
#164:


WilliamPorygon posted...
"Hey, I thought you said Troy McClure was dead!"
"No, what I said was 'he sleeps with the fishes.' You see"
This joke aged very well.

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AloneIBreak
10/20/23 11:09:03 PM
#165:


What he meant is that monster Island is actually a peninsula!

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joe40001
10/20/23 11:26:39 PM
#166:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcsAUER1Ym8

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"joe is attractive and quite the brilliant poster" - Seiichi Omori
http://i.imgur.com/TheGsZ9.gif
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HylianFox
10/21/23 3:22:02 PM
#167:


They love
They share
They love and love and share
Love love love
Share share share
The Itchy and Scratchy Shooooooow

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WilliamPorygon
10/23/23 4:09:33 PM
#168:


Yes, the Simpsons have come a long way since an old drunk made humans out of his rabbit characters to pay off his gambling debts. Who knows what adventures they'll have between now and the time the show becomes unprofitable?

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008Zulu
10/24/23 1:14:06 AM
#169:


I will send Bart the money to fly home. And then I will murder him.

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HylianFox
10/24/23 1:46:31 AM
#170:


008Zulu posted...
I will send Bart the money to fly home. And then I will murder him.

"Zagnut bar, Mr. Smithers? Razzles? Skittles? Whatchamacallit? Twizzlers?"

"They all have hilarious names and are delicious!"

"Well, I am partial to Jolly Ranchers..."

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#171
Post #171 was unavailable or deleted.
evilpresident
10/24/23 2:02:02 AM
#172:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

They paid him off with a huge bag of peanuts.

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HylianFox
10/24/23 2:14:07 AM
#173:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


evilpresident posted...
They paid him off with a huge bag of peanuts.

It's because Homer was too stupid to bribe Wiggum before, so he refuses to help

"It's a Ring Toss game!"

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"Well well, look who's here. Mr. No Bribe. Just sit down and wait for Detective Like-I-Give-A-Damn!"

"Thank you so much."

"Uh, Dad..."

"Not now Honey, Daddy's waiting for the detective."

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evilpresident
10/24/23 2:19:54 AM
#174:


HylianFox posted...
It's because Homer was too stupid to bribe Wiggum before, so he refuses to help

"It's a Ring Toss game!"

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"Well well, look who's here. Mr. No Bribe. Just sit down and wait for Detective Like-I-Give-A-Damn!"

"Thank you so much."

"Uh, Dad..."

"Not now Honey, Daddy's waiting for the detective."
You're right, I mixed that one up with the octuplets in the zoo episode.

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masterpug53
10/24/23 9:32:03 AM
#175:


"Marge, do you have other men in this house? Radioactive men?"

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WilliamPorygon
10/24/23 10:07:06 AM
#176:


Wha... You're... beautiful!

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/5/5/AABGtnAAE9-3.jpg

Uh-oh. This is a serious medical problem. I gotta go.

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#177
Post #177 was unavailable or deleted.
masterpug53
10/24/23 12:17:54 PM
#178:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


"Okay little buddy, hop in. Ah-ah! I mean my little girl buddy!"
"That's very nice, but it's wrong to reward violent competitive behavior. However I will sit up front with you if it's a fatherly gesture of love."
"Okay, hon... ...SUCKER! Competitive violence! That's why you're here!" *peels out*

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#179
Post #179 was unavailable or deleted.
Naysaspace
10/24/23 1:02:26 PM
#180:


John Wilkes Booth, Lizzie Borden, John Dillinger, Blackbeard, Benedict Arnold, the starting lineup of the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers, and Richard Nixon!
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008Zulu
10/24/23 5:09:06 PM
#181:


Bart speaks in to a megaphone Testing.
Bart holds a megaphone in front of the first one Testing!
Bart smiles

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WilliamPorygon
10/24/23 8:35:27 PM
#182:


"The plant called and said if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday."
"WOO-HOO! A four-day weekend!"

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HylianFox
10/25/23 10:47:14 PM
#183:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


"Let me get a coaster for those feet..."

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/0/1/1/AAN5R1AAE-XL.jpg

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-Unowninator-
10/26/23 6:20:12 PM
#184:


Whoa. Squirrels don't like rocks.

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HylianFox
10/26/23 6:25:09 PM
#185:


"A shiny new donkey to the man who brings me the head of Diego Montoya!"

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Villain_S_Fiend
10/26/23 7:02:14 PM
#186:


Ah, Del Monte. Enjoy them, old man. They will be your last.

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The food here is terrible. My steak was so tough it attacked my coffee and the coffee was too weak to defend itself.
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masterpug53
10/27/23 4:21:03 PM
#187:


"Tonight on Wings...eh, who cares."

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008Zulu
10/27/23 9:34:47 PM
#188:


Homer! Sitting that close to the TV can't be good for you!

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Hayame_Zero
10/28/23 5:00:29 PM
#189:


Flanders: "He said he doesn't want to eat his damn vegetables."

Lovejoy: "What was it, asparagus?"

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...I think I'm done here...
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HylianFox
10/28/23 5:08:52 PM
#190:


Hayame_Zero posted...
Flanders: "He said he doesn't want to eat his damn vegetables."

Lovejoy: "What was it, asparagus?"

"That's it, no Bible stories for you tonight young man!"

"Ned, weren't you a little harsh on him?"

"You knew I had a temper when you married me."

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Westernwolf4
10/28/23 5:13:44 PM
#191:


Villain_S_Fiend posted...
Ah, Del Monte. Enjoy them, old man. They will be your last.

There is one more way to kill a man. But it is as intricate and precise as a well played game of chess.

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#192
Post #192 was unavailable or deleted.
ThatGeminiGuy
10/28/23 10:39:39 PM
#193:


"Dear Homer, I owe you one emergency donut, signed Homer. Bastard! He's always one step ahead!"

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"Life is not earned by begging. Life is earned through doing puzzles" - Mr. Puzzles
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YugiNoob
10/29/23 9:51:01 PM
#194:


Homer: Ahhh! It's Ray! I see him again! Monster, you don't exist!
Ray: Hey, no one calls me a monster or questions my existence!

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masterpug53
10/30/23 10:02:14 AM
#195:


"That's for employing me for eight years!"
*literally burns a bridge after driving over it*

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Euripides
10/30/23 10:59:14 AM
#196:


Ned: "I'll stick with just plain white bread thank you very much, maybe with a"

Maude, Rod and Todd: "...glass of water on the side for dippin'!"

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WilliamPorygon
10/30/23 9:59:37 PM
#197:


"From A: Apple to Z: Zebra, 'Baby's First Pop-up Book' is 26 pages of alphabetic adventure!"
"Bart, you mean to tell me you read a book intended for preschoolers?"
"Well, most of it."

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masterpug53
10/31/23 9:43:58 AM
#198:


(Treehouse of Horror quote in honor of Halloween)

"This sandwich tastes so young and impudent! Seymour, what's with the good grub?"
"Well, perhaps I ought to let you folks in on a secret. You remember me telling Jimbo Jones I'd make something of him one day?"
"...Are you saying you killed Jimbo, processed his carcass, and served him for lunch?!"
*taps nose*
"Ha!"

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_Valigarmanda_
10/31/23 10:21:16 AM
#199:


https://youtu.be/_62lUMlknaY?si=HalQc4TwrOVKoybe

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aka TritochZERO
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_Valigarmanda_
10/31/23 10:24:34 AM
#200:


https://youtu.be/GgpzLQTgW3s?si=L3TlMosUo77XnFzG

"Fooled ya, Flanders! Made you think your family was dead! Ahheheheh!"

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