Poll of the Day > Moved out of my parent's house

(+) Yeah! (+)

At 28. I hate it, I'm all alone, I miss my brothers and sister, I miss my dog, I've never gone to the grocery store and put away groceries by myself, so I just started bawling

People are like "oh it's so nice your parents won't boss you around all day" but I was just being supportive and I liked helping, now I worry how they'll get along

I hate everything

My apartment, my water bill, my showers are as long as I want

Anyway, how was all your experiences moving out? I am very emotional in general.

Cooking for yourself every single day is going to break you probably.

Pasta is your friend, but not forever.

I'm sorry for your lots... :L

My experience was significantly more boring; I was already doing groceries and laundry and such for the family so when I left I just kept doing it... I hate doing dishes tho (cuz I don't like being wet)

As for the feels, I have schizoid so I don't feel the loneliness... but this is kinda a cheat since the apartment I moved to is only like 3 blocks away from my parents :D

I loved moving out and loathed to move back in temporarily in my 20s.

The fact that you had never been grocery shopping on your own is exactly why you did need to move out. It will get easier. Get a new doggo, or if that is unrealistic, a cat. It will get easier.

shadowsword87 posted...

Cooking for yourself every single day is going to break you probably.

Pasta is your friend, but not forever.

I love cooking, but I won't do it anymore because I have no one to make food for. I used to make all kinds of weird Indian foods from scratch for everyone most days.

My coworker lives in this complex, maybe she'd want some Indian food, I'm probably going to end up forcing myself to make real friends because I felt like I had all the company I needed back home

Jen0125 posted...

I loved moving out and loathed to move back in temporarily in my 20s.

I might remember that your parents were a pain in the ass

Keep cooking and come up with new recipes all the time. It helped me after my divorce and then when I started dating, it was considered a huge bonus.

Gotta learn take good care of yourself before you consider finding yourself a partner to nurture

it'll get better. i would hate going back.

I moved out when I was 25, I had my girlfriend to spend time with me frequently. If it wasn't for her I likely would have felt quite lonely. I'm not a social person but even so I feel it would have been a little too quiet for a while before I got used to it

Never really moved out. My parents were the ones that moved for several years. I still had my brother though, so I wasn't alone.

Then later, despite saying that our house was ours, and they'd only use theirs(2 homes in the property)... They reclaimed it as theirs and moved back in. So, it was shortlived and my brother wasn't exactly pleasant. Haven't had much freedom at all since then, all my time is spent for them and their endeavors.

Time to be an adult. They should've been ready to kick you out anyway. its obvious you can hold a job and pay your own way

hehe

ma mom just phoned me to see if I'm not dead... such a sweetie

I'm in mom and dad's house at 31 presently. I moved out at 19 for a year, came back to mom + dad for a year, then was out of home for most of my 20s (save for just under a year @ 26 when mom had breast cancer).

Sounds like you have a good relationship with your parents, so it makes sense that you're feeling it. I really wanted to 'get away' regardless of expense by 19, so I'm more the type that enjoyed the distance from them. I find my mother to be a rather intrusive and immature person. I'm better at dealing with them on a personal level at this point though, so living at home to pay off my school loan just makes sense.

Are they close enough to visit? It's good that you have a friend in the complex, definitely put time and effort into that! Hope you make some friends around there too that bring you some solace.

Yellow posted...

Anyway, how was all your experiences moving out?

Didn't have much choice in the matter. Been on my own since 16/17. Grew up in Massachusetts. My father bailed on the fam when I was a baby. Mom died when I was 13. Bounced around different family and friends for a few years, living with whoever would put up with my teenage rage for however long they could. Ended up in Colorado with my brother and his father. They up and moved on me so I stayed behind on my own to finish high school. I was homeless for a short bit but got a room in a drug dealer's basement then joined the Army.

Give yourself a solid 6 months to a year on your own. Visit your parents as much as you need in that time. If you don't adjust to enjoy being in your own space by the end of that stretch of time, talk to your parents about moving back in.

lol

I moved out around 30 and there hasnt been one single second where I felt like I was too lonely. Course, Ive always been a very self sufficient person anyway. I lived at home for so long out of necessity, really.

I moved out at 23, pretty much as soon as I could get my own apartment. cause at that point I graduated and got hired in a tech job which was shitty but just paid enough. and I have a family drama story.

I had a girlfriend at the time and when I brought her home to meet my parents, my sister decided she was gonna antagonize her (they had never even spoken before) and make it extremely stressful for me and her to be around there. I still don't know what her problem is but some people just can't have enough enemies.

the climax of this was the family thanksgiving where my sister threw a fit because she didn't want my girlfriend to come. so my mom called off the whole thing. and I was like yeah I'm out of here in 1 month.

unfortunately I rarely visited after that cause it was stressful as fuck. and after covid I haven't visited even once. I want to see my family but it was already stressful enough, but even now they are still 2020 lockdown-mode and it's like I am going in to see bubble boy just by visiting my family.

Far-Queue posted...

Didn't have much choice in the matter. Been on my own since 16/17. Grew up in Massachusetts. My father bailed on the fam when I was a baby. Mom died when I was 13. Bounced around different family and friends for a few years, living with whoever would put up with my teenage rage for however long they could. Ended up in Colorado with my brother and his father. They up and moved on me so I stayed behind on my own to finish high school. I was homeless for a short bit but got a room in a drug dealer's basement then joined the Army.

Give yourself a solid 6 months to a year on your own. Visit your parents as much as you need in that time. If you don't adjust to enjoy being in your own space by the end of that stretch of time, talk to your parents about moving back in.

Damn dude, didn't know your story. Plus, giving solid practical advice that doesn't only rely on your own experiences? Shiiiiii-

I was happy to be able to move from my dads house. I hated having to move back for a few months though, but I managed to make it work and I was able to get on my feet and eventually move from the state I was in.

live with friends as roommates and/or a partner and save hundreds of thousands of dollars

1950s or so is when the era of multi-generational homes came to an end, though it had a resurge starting in the 2010s. We lived that brief 60~ year period when it was normal to move out of the parental house.

Moving out was a joyous occasion for me lol Sorry you are having a hard time. Definitely spend as much time with your folks as you need, and don't be afraid to reach out to people in your complex.

I was 24 when I did it. My mom was pretty toxic at the time so as soon as I could afford to leave after landing my current tech job, I planned my escape. I had already been doing things on my own while I was there (groceries, meal prep, chores, taxes, etc), so it wasn't a huge change, just a matter of adjusting to the new space and googling any tasks that were new to me. One of my sisters was like 'Take me with you!', so I did--that, plus my independent personality took care of most feelings of loneliness. I like having my own sanctuary to come back to.

Yellow posted...

Anyway, how was all your experiences moving out?

At first, it was incredibly frightening. I did not have a job ready for me when I moved to Nevada. All I had to live off of was the income I got from doing DoorDash orders. At first, I had planned to find a place in which to live, citing that as my only income source. As one can imagine, the number of respectable places that would allow someone with such a meager income was very small.

For the time being, I had had to book an Airbnb room while I looked for a place to rent while working. I had no rental references, which disheartened me greatly in regards to applying for places to rent. Fortunately for me, the bloke who was hosting the Airbnb room was very generous. He allowed me to rent the room I was living in as part of my Airbnb stay. He moreover allowed me to keep a rice-cooker, which eliminated the hassle of driving out to get food. He was very generous in that regard.

Eventually, I found a job at a department store. It wasn't a great fit for me, and though it allowed me to pay rent, I eventually left the position two months after entering it. I then returned to my job-search, which culminated in my acquiring a post at an IT company. I can say very confidently that it was a job that I could not only do well, but one that I could flourish in. I hope now to advance in the organization for which I now work.

Getting groceries wasn't an issue for me when I first moved out. It was simply something I had to do while my mother was in the hospital with a brain tumor. I had had to learn much while she was incapacitated.

As for my loneliness issue... I cannot say that I really miss much of my family, since many of them were borderline abusive to me while I was growing up, and in the years after my college graduation. I do not like to talk about it. In any case, while I do not miss my family, I still feel lonely. I don't go through the effort of trying to make friends, for reasons I do not feel like disclosing on a public forum.

Overall, though my life is better in every way since I left my family home ten months ago, it still isn't perfect. I still long for a purpose in life. I still long for --- yet still feel undeserving of --- companionship. I still have psychological issues that have followed me all the way out here. Sometimes, I can find ways to manage these issues when they pop up. But on the days when I am unable to, I find myself over-often fretting over how productive I could have been without the burden of my various disorders, some of which I am only now beginning to realize I have.

I am happy you were able to do this, and hope there are no long term consequences as a result.

EclairReturns posted...

I am proud of you for putting in proper paragraphs without being told to edit. This is real development in action

Greenfox111 posted...

I am proud of you for putting in proper paragraphs without being told to edit. This is real development in action

For real

I moved out during grad school into a small studio apartment across from school. It wasn't too bad. Slept on a futon for a while.

Why did u move out now if u don't mind me asking?