Board 8 > Cats review zone

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Lightning Strikes
12/19/19 10:57:57 AM
#1:


https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/cats_2019

Ah, the rare film where the reviews are more entertaining than the film.

RTE Ireland
First off, full disclosure - I am not a cat person. Second off - after watching this frankly mortifying film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats, I'm not altogether sure I am a movie person anymore either.

Slant
This adaptation gets straight to the heart of the material, which is basically two hours of stray cats introducing themselves.


The Guardian
A purr-fectly dreadful hairball of woe. 1/5.


The Daily Telegraph
Glad to report that Cats is everything youd hoped for and more: a mesmerisingly ugly fiasco that makes you feel like your brain is being eaten by a parasite


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DeepsPraw
12/19/19 11:01:15 AM
#2:


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FFDragon
12/19/19 11:01:28 AM
#3:


https://twitter.com/kylebuchanan/status/1207452921106841601?s=20

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Waluigi1
12/19/19 12:04:22 PM
#4:


FFDragon posted...
https://twitter.com/kylebuchanan/status/1207452921106841601?s=20
Lmao

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Snake5555555555
12/19/19 12:11:57 PM
#5:


Fuck, these are gold.

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banananor
12/19/19 12:17:15 PM
#6:


In situations like this, I assume the reviewers haven't even seen the film, and instead are just rushing to exercise their comedy writing muscles


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HashtagSEP
12/19/19 12:23:56 PM
#7:


banananor posted...
In situations like this, I assume the reviewers haven't even seen the film, and instead are just rushing to exercise their comedy writing muscles

What makes you assume that

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NFUN
12/19/19 12:27:19 PM
#8:


pretend the reviews are just about the animal

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banananor
12/19/19 12:30:08 PM
#9:


At a certain point, reviews are less critique and more entertainment

Obviously the movie didn't literally make the reviewer dislike movies, but it's funnier that way

Just like I'm sure the reviewers saw the movie, I am just sure they aren't giving an accurate critique, but rather an entertaining one

When people start competing for the most flowery or visceral adjectives, that's a signal to me that they're focusing on entertainment

Yahtzee/ZeroPunctuation is probably the most obvious culprit of this when it comes to video games

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pyresword
12/19/19 12:38:14 PM
#11:


I've only seen the stage version, but I'm glad these reviewers disliked the movie as much as I disliked the musical at least.
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NFUN
12/19/19 12:50:17 PM
#12:


banananor posted...
I assume the reviewers haven't even seen the film

banananor posted...
Just like I'm sure the reviewers saw the movie
:thonk:

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Raka_Putra
12/19/19 1:54:58 PM
#13:


I'll be watching its local premiere and I can't wait! <3

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banananor
12/19/19 2:08:23 PM
#14:


NFUN posted...
:thonk:
This is the sound of sarcasm and hyperbole hitting someone in the head, I guess.

Sorry about that, I'll be more clear next time

I thought in the context of hyperbolic reviews it would make sense

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Raka_Putra
12/19/19 2:11:42 PM
#15:


pyresword posted...

Raka_Putra posted...
I'll be watching its local premiere and I can't wait! <3
To see how bad it'll be

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MoogleKupo141
12/19/19 3:01:28 PM
#16:


Yesterday my mom told me she wanted to see this and I was like uh... are you sure? Its probably really dumb and the cats look like nightmares but now that the reviews are out I 100% am going to go see it with her.
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trdl23
12/19/19 3:17:28 PM
#17:


I have seen the musical. Its weird as hell but the music is catchy.

However, it barely works on stage where I am at least 50 feet away from the actors. It sure as hell is not something I want to experience any close-up of. Ever.

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TheCodeisBosco
12/19/19 3:59:36 PM
#18:


MoogleKupo141 posted...
Yesterday my mom told me she wanted to see this and I was like uh... are you sure? Its probably really dumb and the cats look like nightmares but now that the reviews are out I 100% am going to go see it with her.

These overwhelmingly negative reviews are the best advertising CATS could ask for. Anyone who still wanted to see the film in earnest after... those trailers certainly won't be scared off by these reviews either. However, these "OH GOD, MY EYES"-type reviews will get people interested in seeing just how high the dumpster fire is blazing.

...I kinda want to see it now too.

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Cybat
12/19/19 6:24:28 PM
#19:


Some of the ones in this article were already quoted here, but it's still worth reading the whole thing.

https://www.esquire.com/uk/latest-news/a30279172/cats-musical-film-reviews/?fbclid=IwAR1e9aLLjIw-W_Hrp_ZWQpM8cue_525puTtEJpwGGriQFEe2lPq0rvxDqn4

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Lightning Strikes
12/19/19 7:48:07 PM
#20:


I'm so happy this film exists.

I really have to recommend the Guardian review which is written entirely in rhyme.

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Anagram
12/19/19 8:39:10 PM
#21:


Seeing it in an hour.

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Anagram
12/20/19 1:05:54 AM
#22:


Best movie of 2019 for me. It has a few slow parts, but most of the movie is terrible enough to entertain. Definitely recommend.

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Wanglicious
12/20/19 6:08:25 AM
#23:


Anagram posted...
Best movie of 2019 for me. It has a few slow parts, but most of the movie is terrible enough to entertain. Definitely recommend.

...on a scale of 1-10, 1 being a headband with cat ears and 10 being bestiality, just how furry is this movie.

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Bane_Of_Despair
12/20/19 7:07:40 AM
#24:


Furries hate how the movie looks too, if there was a furry on the design team for this they would not have allowed this monstrosity for better and for worse

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Anagram
12/20/19 9:58:04 AM
#25:


Wanglicious posted...
...on a scale of 1-10, 1 being a headband with cat ears and 10 being bestiality, just how furry is this movie.
14

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Surskit
12/20/19 10:23:54 AM
#26:


Seriously. I can imagine the furries are just as horrified.

Cats has always been kind of shitty, though. The Broadway show also makes the characters look horrifying; like some sort of furry fantasy gone wrong with tinges of glam rock influences in the costume designs because truly, why the fuck not. It's like walking into some very odd fetishist's idea of an animal costume party. It's part of the charm at this point. The show has always been about odd-looking people in costumes prancing around singing somewhat catchy songs.

We knew the critics would have a field day with this thing and I imagine many of these reviews had been in the works far before the movie released. The plot has always been whatever; the focus would be entirely on the visuals (considering this is an adaptation) and they didn't need to watch the movie for that to transfer over. It's their chance to fuck around and sprinkle the reviews with humor, because it's that kind of movie where the public would always demand for them to just shit on it. And shit on it they did.

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PrivateBiscuit1
12/20/19 10:29:03 AM
#27:


Surskit posted...
Seriously. I can imagine the furries are just as horrified.
Lol

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Bane_Of_Despair
12/20/19 10:37:36 AM
#28:


PrivateBiscuit1 posted...
Lol
My boyfriend is a furry and by extension I'm now furry-adjacent so I can tell you, no yea furries REALLY don't like it

Movie was made for literally nobody, well except the "so bad it's good" viewers now

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Leafeon13N
12/20/19 2:21:10 PM
#29:


The things are human faced with weird cat features thrown in. Furries do not go for that crap.
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Anagram
12/20/19 2:52:54 PM
#30:


Look, this movie has an idea, and it doesn't compromise on the idea no matter how terrible it becomes. I respect that.

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Meow1000
12/20/19 3:00:42 PM
#31:


banananor posted...
This is the sound of sarcasm and hyperbole hitting someone in the head, I guess.

Sorry about that, I'll be more clear next time

I thought in the context of hyperbolic reviews it would make sense
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Paratroopa1
12/20/19 9:04:38 PM
#32:


Bane_Of_Despair posted...
Furries hate how the movie looks too, if there was a furry on the design team for this they would not have allowed this monstrosity for better and for worse

+1, don't know any furries (including myself) who are into this
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MichelBollinger
12/20/19 10:20:23 PM
#33:


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Mythiot
12/20/19 10:25:26 PM
#34:


As a furry and a fan of the musical, I'm going to try and see this with an open mind. Hopefully the wonky designs will just be an awkward step to better "digital fur technology" in the future.
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Waluigi1
12/21/19 10:02:48 AM
#35:


MichelBollinger posted...
Day 1 Patch

https://twitter.com/somebadideas/status/1208215111741181952?s=19
What the fuck?

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Raka_Putra
12/23/19 11:43:36 AM
#36:


I watched the movie. I was not at all familiar with the musical.

But to my pleasant, overall, I liked it. I discovered some new songs that make it to my playlist (Skimbleshanks and Mr. Mistoffelees , namely). The latter even legit made me cry.

It's too bad most of the movies feel like nonsense and the creepy characters need some time to get used to. And I don't think I really got used to them fully even by the end.

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Mythiot
12/23/19 11:57:02 AM
#37:


Raka_Putra posted...
I watched the movie. I was not at all familiar with the musical.

But to my pleasant, overall, I liked it. I discovered some new songs that make it to my playlist (Skimbleshanks and Mr. Mistoffelees , namely). The latter even legit made me cry.

It's too bad most of the movies feel like nonsense and the creepy characters need some time to get used to. And I don't think I really got used to them fully even by the end.
Definitely check out the musical whenever you can if you liked the soundtrack. No creepiness, all charm.
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Raka_Putra
12/23/19 12:06:56 PM
#38:


Mythiot posted...
Definitely check out the musical whenever you can if you liked the soundtrack. No creepiness, all charm.
Yeah I watched clips of Mr. Mistoffelees and wow they look SO much better on stage.

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MichelBollinger
12/23/19 12:09:56 PM
#39:


Really curious about what the reaction would be to this movie if it was identical but with practical effects.
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Waluigi1
12/23/19 4:32:18 PM
#40:


Kinda Funny's Screen Cats episode was a fun listen.

Well except for the opening. Ouch.

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