Board 8 > darkx ranks all 426 Survivor contestants

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SanityLapse
05/31/12 9:11:00 PM
#201:


WilhuffTarkin posted...
The people on the outs flipping the game and voting out the controlling alliance. On paper, I agree that this would normally be something that would make a season interesting. But when every single person in the game is boring as hell, it doesn't make for compelling television regardless of what they do. Some people say "(insert season) had the worst final four out of any season" about seasons they dislike. I say that Marquesas had the worst final EIGHT of any season. I can get you not liking John, but he was the only person who seemed to be doing anything out of the final nine. After he got booted, it was just boring TV. The former outcats now become the controlling alliance and vote everyone else out, which is exactly the same thing. Except there's nothing even remotely compelling about any of them. Ugh. That's me, though.


I agree with some of this. I feel like John was definitely one of the few playing that season. But Kathy was great, and really did a nice job with the post-merge that season. Even Vecepia, while almost completely ignored now a days, was probably the 2nd best player (behind Kathy) for that whole season. Not something I really noticed until I saw the season again recently though. But she had a nice social game, and seemed to be pretty aware of what was going on.

I really disliked (or was indifferent to) a lot of the post-merge people that season though. V was a good winner, but not terribly likable. Neleh and Paschal were total garbage. Sean was ok. John, Tammy, Zoe, and The General sucked. I mean, it's not saying much when 3 of my Top 4 for the season didn't even make Jury (1. Kathy, 2. Rob, 3. Peter, 4. Gabe).


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SanityLapse
05/31/12 9:15:00 PM
#202:


FFDragon posted...
People hate Ami? I didn't know that was possible.


Sarcasm that people hate the villain of the season?


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Xuxon
05/31/12 9:17:00 PM
#203:


410. A female runner up
lets see, eligible for this is Kelly, Kim J, Neleh, Lil, Twila, Katie, Steph, Danielle, Cassandra, Courtney, Amanda, Susie, Parvati, Sabrina. i'll go with Lil, though I could see Danielle or Amanda or a couple others.

409. A winner, however this is not them from the season that they won
technically several options, though almost none of them should be ranked this low. i guess it has to be CI Parv

408. A pre-merge Africa boot
Silas? really unsure here

407. A "Favorite"
Chet, has to be.

406. The most recent incarnation of someone who has played more than once
Russhole or Ozzy... I'll go with Russell, since Micronesia Ozzy was worse.
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Xuxon
05/31/12 9:18:00 PM
#204:


oh whoops, I brainfarted 407. In that case they're probably both Ozzy.
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SanityLapse
05/31/12 9:19:00 PM
#205:


The day Chet comes back as a Favorite...


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WilhuffTarkin
05/31/12 9:19:00 PM
#206:


I don't really get the Kathy love. She seemed really obnoxious about the shelter when she was still on Rotu, the way she presented the shells or whatever they were to the tribe.

She got better, but she never struck me as particularly likeable. She was probably the best player at the end of the season, but that's because everybody else was terrible.

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SanityLapse
05/31/12 9:22:00 PM
#207:


Kathy was pretty crazy pre-merge. She was lucky with the challenges and swap. But she beasted things after the merge.

I found her both likable and a good player by the time everything was said and done. She's probably one of the contestants I think I'd most get along with IRL.


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WilhuffTarkin
05/31/12 9:31:00 PM
#208:


Oh, one other thing that makes Marquesas unenjoyable to me: Rosie O'Donnell on the reunion show. That is the single worst moment in the history of Survivor, bar none.

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AdmiralZephyr
05/31/12 11:18:00 PM
#209:


There will probably only be one update tomorrow and a fairly good chance that there will not be any on Saturday, or until Sunday evening.

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AdmiralZephyr
06/01/12 12:19:00 PM
#210:


410. Kelly Wiglesworth (Borneo, 2nd place)

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Russell, Chase, Clay, Dreamz and now Kelly. A fifth of the runner-ups are in my bottom 20. However, there have been some great runner-ups as well, and at least 4 are in my top 50. Kelly was just terrible though. She started off the game being one of the pretty, cliquey girls with Stacey. Once Stacey gets voted out, she joins up and becomes part of arguably the most dominating alliance in Survivor history with Rudy, Sue and Richard. Halfway through the merge, however, she decides that she doesn't want to be aligned with them because she feels that making an alliance isn't fair. Really? You mean the very fundamental thing that Survivor is based on isn't fair? So despite her voting against them, she still makes it to the final four, where she betrays Sue to avoid a tie. She's then in the final two where she in return gets absolutely owned by Sue and doesn't win the million dollars because of her vote. Oh and here's a little gem that most people miss - when the game is said and done, after Richard is announced as the winner, the jury comes over to hug the final two. Well, Kelly refuses Sue's hug like the little b**** that she is.


409. James "J.T." Thomas, Jr. (Heroes vs. Villains, 10th place)

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There are a lot of people that I blame for f***ing up Heroes vs. Villains, and that's why J.T. actually manages to get this high is because it was a collective effort, but he absolutely gets the bulk of the burden. When Heroes vs. Villains was announced, JT was an obvious choice for the Heroes tribe. He was a recent and extremely popular winner, and had a bit of redemption to earn in the fact that he played an excellent physical and social game, but was a bit lacking in the strategic department. So on day one he decides that he wants to try and prove that he can be a strategic player by doing the very thing that gets almost every "strategic" player in trouble - he makes an alliance with every single person on the tribe. He's constantly betraying people and sending entertaining people home, and then comes the thing that everybody remembers him for in this season. He actually gives a freaking immunity idol to Russell, an action that comes back to haunt him and gets himself voted out at the merge and puts Russell in a position of power once more. Oh, and here's something that a lot of people don't know about - he cheated on his girlfriend with Sugar pre-show and promised that he would take her to the end, only to betray her at the first tribal council, causing her to try to kill herself at Losers Lounge.


408. Lindsey Richter (Africa, 11th place)

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Most people seem to agree that Lindsey sucks. She helped create the Mall Rats, one of the worst alliances in Survivor history, and was pretty much completely annoying through the whole game. She hated Frank, and I admit that I probably would have been annoyed with Frank had I been on Survivor with him, but she absolutely crossed the line with it, telling him to drop dead and such. Then she tried to sell out Brandon, the one person in the game who actually didn't hate her, resulting in herself being voted out. Even after she was voted out she affected the game by not having piercings, making her the overlooked correct answer to a question in the final four immunity challenge. Oh, and her mom didn't hug her enough.

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AdmiralZephyr
06/01/12 12:19:00 PM
#211:


407. Ozzy Lusth (Fans vs. Favorites, 9th place)

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Yeah, Ozzy pretty much sucked in Fans vs. Favorites. Unlike in Cook Islands where he was a lovable underdog, here he was in the majority alliance (and a terrible one at that) the whole time, and was a total dick to everyone who wasn't in that alliance, especially those who were not physically as strong as some of the other members. His true colors showed when he took his blindside like a complete baby and was bitter about it for the rest of the time. I think in Ozzy's little mind, he should have three million dollars because he thinks he is really the best player ever, but he has none because he made fatal flaws in every single game. I will admit that his fake immunity idol led to one of the greatest moments in Survivor history though.


406. Jenna Lewis (All-Stars, 3rd place)

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Jenna is the other person other than Lex that I (and most people) blame for ruining All-Stars. She started the trend of voting out winners for the sake of voting out winners, which lost us out on some entertaining players. Then she formed an alliance with Rupert that turned out to be one of the most God awful two-person alliances of all time. Rupert by this point had fallen from his Pearl Islands grace and become pretty bad, and Jenna was annoying as s***. Once the merge hit, she basically just did whatever Rob told her to do, knowing full well that she was doomed to come in third place. She b****ed about losing the final immunity challenge and had a back-and-forth with Probst about it. Oh, and her (very bad) sex tape surfaced around this time. I will give her this though - she provided excellent one-liners for Shii-Ann.


405. Came in 9th place
404. Participated in at least one Redemption Island duel
403. Placed exactly one spot higher than someone else already listed.
402. Our first winner (for real this time)
401. Same letter begins both their first and last names

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SanityLapse
06/01/12 1:03:00 PM
#212:


AdmiralZephyr posted...
Halfway through the merge, however, she decides that she doesn't want to be aligned with them because she feels that making an alliance isn't fair. Really? You mean the very fundamental thing that Survivor is based on isn't fair?


That's an unfair thing to say about someone from season 1 though. This was the first season. It could have potentially taken multiple seasons before the concept of alliances sprouted up if people just saw it more as an adventure show, where you vote out the weakest people, and the strongest person is the winner. Kelly really just felt bad to be sitting there eliminating all the others who hadn't been playing that way. It could have felt like they were using a loophole in the game, playing it in a way that it wasn't meant to be played. I mean, it's easy to say otherwise now. But giving Kelly a hard time over that point in particular is just...eh. But it seems like you just really hate contestants who face moral dilemmas (Brandon, Dreamz, Kelly, etc). I'm no Kelly fan (I'd say she's probably even my least favorite person from Borneo), but her inclusion in the season was interesting.


Well, Kelly refuses Sue's hug like the little b**** that she is.


Sue literally just told Kelly that she wants her to die IRL, because Kelly voted her out earlier. It's not like now, when the reunion is months later. That was pretty much right after her speech that it happened. So Kelly being bitter after something Sue said minutes earlier, because Sue was bitter about something that happened days earlier.


There are a lot of people that I blame for f***ing up Heroes vs. Villains, and that's why J.T. actually manages to get this high is because it was a collective effort, but he absolutely gets the bulk of the burden.


You always hate on HvV because of Russell's excessive presence back to back. But...Russell is ranked higher than someone you are mad at for allowing Russell to make it far? Why isn't John Fincher ranked lower than Samoan Russell then?

JT was pretty well liked when he was ripping apart the Heroes. I think he was actually the most liked from the Hero tribe pre-merge on this board. I can't believe you'd dislike him this much for giving away immunity, despite how fun he was to watch every other episode.


he cheated on his girlfriend with Sugar pre-show and promised that he would take her to the end, only to betray her at the first tribal council, causing her to try to kill herself at Losers Lounge.


Oh cool. Sugar almost took Corinne's advice! <3 Corinne


Most people seem to agree that Lindsey sucks. She helped create the Mall Rats, one of the worst alliances in Survivor history, and was pretty much completely annoying through the whole game.


Yeah, that's really all that needs to be said about her. Brandon was worse than Lindsey though IMO. Both suck a lot. So does Silas. Kim Powers was at least...ok.


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WilhuffTarkin
06/01/12 1:19:00 PM
#213:


I like Kelly Wiglesworth for being part of the Tagi Alliance. That alliance, to this day, is still the best alliance Survivor has ever had imo. I mean really, does it get more eclectic than this?

-The arrogant gay man.
-The young, athletic, toboy-ish girl.
-The curmudgeony old retired Navy Seal.
-The female redneck trucker.

Love it!

The reason that Borneo is probably still the best season to this day imo is because of the Tagi Alliance. I just love the whole story with them. I look at their progression from a psychological standpoint: when they voted out Dirk, it's like they were really testing the waters on whether or not this alliance thing could work. It whetted their appetites, and they obliterated everyone else like a dark force that nobody could see coming after sharpening their claws.

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AdmiralZephyr
06/01/12 6:41:00 PM
#214:


bumpo

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SanityLapse
06/01/12 8:03:00 PM
#215:


AdmiralZephyr posted...
Yeah, Ozzy pretty much sucked in Fans vs. Favorites. Unlike in Cook Islands where he was a lovable underdog


I was never an Ozzy fan, even in CI. Though I didn't hate him in that. I just never cared about him. But yeah, he definitely sucked in his later 2 seasons.

but he has none because he made fatal flaws in every single game.


What was his fatal flaw in CI? I really don't remember too many specifics about that season. I don't remember anything about the FTC.

Oh, and her (very bad) sex tape surfaced around this time.


For some reason I haven't seen that yet. I did see her topless in The Scorned though...


405. Has to be John Fincher. Maybe Coby but I doubt it. Hoping it's HvV Amanda though.
404. Keith?
403. Yeah, I'm not gonna bother guessing this one.
402. Aras, Amber, or Jenna?
401. Ben from Samoa or Lisi? Probably Lisi. Who the hell likes her.


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TimJab
06/02/12 6:18:00 AM
#216:


From: AdmiralZephyr | #210
he cheated on his girlfriend with Sugar pre-show and promised that he would take her to the end, only to betray her at the first tribal council, causing her to try to kill herself at Losers Lounge.

XD I had no idea JT was so Alpha.

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AdmiralZephyr
06/02/12 3:47:00 PM
#217:


Surprise (quick) update today! May not be one tomorrow though instead, which is why I'm squeezing it in today. Also these are the shortest write-ups yet because I'm a little short on time.


405. Amanda Kimmel (Heroes vs. Villains, 9th place)

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There were two people who were brought back for Heroes vs. Villains that I felt in no way, shape or form deserved to come back for a season made up of a group of this caliber of entertainment/popularity, so I'm especially hard on those two for s****ing all over the season, and Amanda is one of them. Amanda was (undeservedly) brought back for a second time and I thought, "God, I HOPE she doesn't s*** all over the season like she did in Fans vs. Favorites." And she did again. She was the most wishy-washy player of the whole season and because of that screwed up an excellent plan at the merge in which Sandra could have helped the Heroes take out the other Villains. And we seriously chose her over Sierra, or Helen, or Tracy? Plenty of other 1-timer female Heroes that they could have picked instead. Hell, even Kathy if they wanted another 2-timer.


404. Ozzy Lusth (South Pacific)

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Ozzy becomes the first person to appear on this list twice (and in this instance he is the third person to appear that won Fan Favorite for their season), and it's more than deserved. I don't think any Survivor has had a further fall from grace than Ozzy. He came back in South Pacific looking for redemption, but instead he ended up being the same jerkass that he was in Fans vs. Favorites. I totally blame him for the Pagonging that took place, not Cochran. If Ozzy had treated Cochran a little bit better, Cochran would not have flipped. Also, if Ozzy hadn't pulled such an idiotic acting stunt at the merge duel, the Upolus would not have suspected that there was an idol still in play and would not have tried as hard to flip Cochran. I give him a little bit higher than he probably deserves because he kept things interesting at the end when you really thought he had a chance to win it.


403. Zoe Zenidakis (Marquesas, 8th place)

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Another member of the cocky Rotu Four, and honestly she's not much better than John (the other two I have slightly more sympathy for). Zoe was loud, bossy, and snobbish for the entire time that she was in the game, and if it weren't for the fact that John was an absolute dick, she would probably be lower than this on the list. And then she was a total b**** on the jury, and not in a fun way like others have been. She did produce a great quote from Rob, however, when he said, "Zoe is definitely the toughest guy on this tribe."

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AdmiralZephyr
06/02/12 3:47:00 PM
#218:


402. Jenna Morasca (The Amazon, 1st place)

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Yep, Morasc*** as she is often called on Sucks is my least-favorite winner, and it's pretty well-deserved. Now don't get me wrong, there are a ton of reasons to love Amazon as a season. Is has a ton of great characters, some of which rank surprisingly high on my list, like, even higher than I thought I'd have them, but Jenna isn't one of them. She was barely shown on the season and when she was she was shown to be a little b****. She was lazy around camp, flaunted her good looks, called the older women jealous of her, and came across as a total b**** when she called herself "handicapped" for being good-looking with a deaf person sitting right next to her. She wasn't even a funny catty b**** like Heidi was. Stripping for chocolate and peanut barely makes up for all the horribleness she brought to an otherwise great season.


401. Lisi Linares (Fiji, 11th place)

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Lisi was pretty much cast on Fiji for being a fugly, obnoxious b****, and that's exactly what she brought to the season - being a fugly, obnoxious b**** the entire time. And the worst part is that she got the most screen time out of any of the women that season when there were far more entertaining women in that season who could have easily gotten themselves higher on this list had Lisi not stole their screen time with her obnoxiousness. I will give her this - the one good thing she added to the season was falling on her face in the memory game, becoming the first (and so far only) person in Survivor history to get physically injured during an entirely mental challenge.


400. Palau, post-merge
399. Borneo, pre-merge
398. Tocantins, post-merge
397. Heroes vs. Villains, post-merge
396. Africa, post-merge

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Xuxon
06/02/12 4:46:00 PM
#219:


whoops, forgot to guess there. great picks though, they're all awful except Jenna.

Janu
Stacy or maybe Ramona
Joe i guess? he's merely meh but there's no one that bad there i don't think unless you really hate Coach or Tyson.
Candice
Brandon
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AdmiralZephyr
06/03/12 6:29:00 PM
#220:


No update today, however, I will give you guys SOMETHING. In this case, the 20 names (10 male, 10 female) that I'm most surprised have never been on Survivor as a contestant. Ponder it and give me other names you're surprised have never made the cut. Note that each name is meant to include any alternate spellings (ie Elisabeth = Elizabeth)

Male:
10. Max
9. Cameron/Cam
8. Alan
7. Curtis/Curt
6. Jeremy
5. Zachary/Zach/Zack
4. Joshua/Josh
3. Jordan
2. Raymond/Ray
1. Timothy/Tim/Timmy

Female:
10. Hannah
9. Bridget
8. Ann/Anne/Annie
7. Robin
6. Kelsey
5. Melanie
4. Lauren
3. Rachel
2. Emily
1. Meghan

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ImTheMacheteGuy
06/03/12 6:37:00 PM
#221:


1. Timothy/Tim/Timmy

XD you're awesome dude. There is one major reason there's never been a survivor castaway with this name... and it's that I've never even auditioned >_> (I suck at hot+humid climates and would probably be dehydration-medevac'd within 10 minutes of disembarking)

Also this has been pretty good so far. Thank you for doing this because I've been meaning to do my own full ranking for a while but have kept slacking off. Since you're doing it, I've finally decided to do it myself, so thanks for the inspiration. I'll be starting my list (with ratings and various stats too) probably within a week.

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WilhuffTarkin
06/03/12 9:17:00 PM
#222:


Surprised your list doesn't include "William."

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AdmiralZephyr
06/03/12 11:23:00 PM
#223:


WilhuffTarkin posted...
Surprised your list doesn't include "William."



Technically Bill from One World fits this.

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Xuxon
06/03/12 11:57:00 PM
#224:


Bill, Billy, even Willard, but no William lol

first two that come to mind for me were Brittney/Brittany and George. Some others - Jack, Justin, Scott, Kevin, Fred, Sam, Samantha, Bethany, Molly, Cory/Corey (either gender on that last one).
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AdmiralZephyr
06/04/12 12:33:00 AM
#225:


Fred, Justin and Kevin were the next three in line on my Male list.

Also, Billy's given name is actually Virgilio.

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Naomi_Diamond
06/04/12 8:41:00 AM
#226:


Was there ever an Allison?

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Naomi_Diamond
06/04/12 8:50:00 AM
#227:


Nope.

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AdmiralZephyr
06/04/12 1:07:00 PM
#228:


400. Janu Tornell (Palau, 8th place)

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Yeah, Janu is my most-hated person from Palau, and rightfully so. Another quitter, Janu pretty much pissed me off throughout the whole season. She got ignored a lot, but when she was shown she was kinda b****y, and that alone usually wouldn't be enough to get totally on my bad side, but the conclusion to her story just pissed me off. In episode 9, she votes vote Stephenie thinking that she's the obvious choice to go next. To her surprise, the tribe actually votes off Coby. In the next episode, when Stephenie actually is the target boot, Janu thinks that it isn't right to vote out someone so outnumbered, so, sick of the people she's with anyway, she quits just to let Steph get one more round. Not that it made much difference since Steph was voted out next anyway. Oh and she got to be on the Jury after all that. That made me mad.


399. Stacey Stillman (Borneo, 14th place)

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Stacey is an example of someone whose post-show actions pissed me off more than her in-show self. Yeah, she was a total b****y popular cliquey girl in the show, but that wasn't nearly as bad as her post-show actions. She decided that she was so important that she was going to sue the producers for supposedly telling Sean and Dirk to vote her off instead of Rudy. Did she win? Hell no. Well, we don't know that for sure seeing as it was "settled out of court." But she made herself look like a total stuck-up b**** and I hate her for it.


398. Debbie Beebe (Tocantins, 6th place)

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Over the years, my bottom spot for Tocantins has gone to several people. Tyson, Coach and Sandy have all held it at some point. However over the years I have grown to appreciate them for what they added to a fairly boring season. There is one person that I have realized that I hate AND they added nothing, however, and that person is Debbie. I think the most that Debbie added to the season was her antics with Tyson early on. Other than that she was pretty much a nonentity and did exactly what Coach told her to until her boot episode. Oh and she was a total b**** to Sierra, especially when Sierra knew she was on the outs and was going home. And that's where she started to get on my nerves. Especially given her post-show revelation that she actually liked Sierra and was just being a b**** to her to stay in Coach's good graces. And this woman is a school principal? Really?

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AdmiralZephyr
06/04/12 1:07:00 PM
#229:


397. Danielle DiLorenzo (Heroes vs. Villains, 7th place)

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Back in Amanda's writeup I explained that she was one of two people in Heroes vs. Villains that I felt did not deserve to be cast on that season (or even another All-Star season) in any way shape or form, and Danielle is the other one, and like Amanda, I am particularly hard on Danielle because of it. In Danielle's case, she got cast as a female villain over the likes of Twila, Jaime, and Natalie B. (who was actually the person who got cut last-minute in favor of Danielle). So Danielle goes in and craps all over her own game 10 minutes in by making an alliance with Parvati and Russell, the two people that everybody wants out from the first minute, and at first this pays off because their alliance gets lucky and gets far. Then when Russell decides to turn on her she acts like she never saw it coming. She aligns herself with two of the biggest villains in Survivor history and couldn't imagine getting betrayed by one of them? She was pissed off at Russell for the rest of her time and acted like a total b****. So she crapped all over both the season AND her own game.


396. Brandon Quinton (Africa, 8th place)

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Another of the Mall Rats from Africa shows up, and I think almost everyone agrees that they were the two worst from the season (even the other two Mall Rats I'm more sympathetic to for reasons we'll get to in their writeups). So basically the highlights of Brandon's edit are going on a movie date with Frank, the guy that he can't stand and can't stand him, and shrieking like a little girl when the flaming arrow fell near his feet. Other than that he was just plain awful and ruined two chances for Samburu to get ahead and avoid a Pagonging, one at Lindsey's boot where he could have pulled Kelly over and gotten rid of Tom or Lex (not that that's a bad thing that it didn't happen because Tom and Lex are great), and one at the merge where he could have worked with Kelly and the other Samburus and gotten rid of Lex. Instead he got rid of the absolute goddess Kelly Goldsmith and ruined any chance that Samburu had of avoiding a Pagonging. Oh, and his reaction to Lindsey being voted out was just so bitter about everything in the world, it's not even funny.


395. The Winner's Club loses another member
394. A grandmother
393. Guatemala finally shows up
392. Yet another season that has yet to show up takes its first hit
391. A "Villain" from Heroes vs. Villains

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AdmiralZephyr
06/04/12 9:24:00 PM
#230:


bumpo

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Xuxon
06/05/12 3:04:00 AM
#231:


Huh, Debbie was my least favorite too. A bit surprised because I thought I was the only one.

395. I'll be surprised if it isn't Amber
394. Gillian?
393. Margaret I hope
392. Cook Islands really needs a casualty. I'll go with Rebecca.
391. Russell... or maybe Tyson for being so dumb, since you also ranked JT below him
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GaryOak151
06/05/12 3:20:00 AM
#232:


stacey was probably right thats why they settled out of court imo

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SanityLapse
06/05/12 3:37:00 AM
#233:


I could be wrong, but I thought I remember Dirk also confirming what Stacey have been saying.


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WilhuffTarkin
06/05/12 11:07:00 AM
#234:


What I've read is that Dirk backed Stacey, but Sean said that they were told to "vote your conscience" or some such.

I dunno...it's a little sketchy, but who can say what happened?

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AdmiralZephyr
06/05/12 2:11:00 PM
#235:


395. Aras Baskauskas (Exile Island, 1st place)

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Yep, Aras is the other winner besides Jenna that I really do hate. He's also the only other winner who is the worst person from his season. Aras was the one sane person on the biggest tribe of lunatics and misfits in Survivor history, and normally that would make him fairly good due to the balance. Unfortunately, he was a total douchebag about it the entire time, constantly hating on everyone and their ideas except for himself and Cirie. He was a dick to Bruce, he was a dick to Courtney (not that I particularly mind when people are dicks to Courtney as you'll see later in my list, but the way he was wasn't entertaining), and he was constantly cocky about being what he thought was the best person on the tribe. Then once the merge hit and he couldn't beat Terry at anything he got even worse because he was a complete poor sport about the fact that someone was actually better than him. The few times he did manage to beat Terry he rubbed it all over his face. I'm all for a good Survivor rivalry, but Terry vs. Aras was one of my least favorite ever, and Aras is mainly the blame for that. I know he's gotten better in recent years in post-game stuff, which is partially why he isn't lower than he is, but as it is, Aras is my least favorite from Exile Island and one of my least favorites ever.


394. Laura Morrett (Samoa, 10th place)

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I don't think there's any question that Laura is the biggest GMILF in Survivor history. Sadly that doesn't save her from being in the bottom 10% of all Survivors. Despite being 39 years old, Laura decided that she'd rather be associated with the younger crowd than with Russell Swan and Shambo, people closer to her own age, and she totally fit right in with them. She was lazy just like them, she b****ed about Shambo just like them, and she conserved all her energy to dominate in the challenges just like them, leaving Russell and Shambo to do all the work around camp, and since Shambo was completely incompetent, Russell had to make up for everything she screwed up, leading to his eventual medivac from overworking himself. And even though everyone was awful to Shambo (not that she didn't completely deserve it because she was, in Laura's own words, "a complete Gilligan"), Laura was easily the worst. So yeah, I hate Laura. Even if she was hot.


393. Blake Towsley (Guatemala, 14th place)

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GOLDEN BOOOOOOOOOOOOOY! With the GOLDEN HAAAAAAAAAAAIR! is the worst person from his season. He came in to the season with the total potential to be the alpha male, and 10 minutes in he's on the ground puking, then the next episode passed on on the ground. So way to live up to expectations. After the tribe swap he found himself in a majority position with everything going for him to make the merge, but he goes and opens his mouth and prevents this from happening. Fifth episode all he does is talk about his girlfriend's boobs and his own drunk stories, leading to a very funny Brian moment where he makes up a game called "Bait Blake" where he baits him into telling more obnoxious stories. And it worked, because Blake was voted out in episode 5. Thank God. What a douche.

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AdmiralZephyr
06/05/12 2:12:00 PM
#236:


392. Kimmi Kappenberg (The Australian Outback, 12th place)

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Another person that I'm thankful was gone after five episodes, Kimmi s*** all over The Australian Outback even after she was voted out. She came into the season as Survivor's first ever vegetarian. To which I can only quote Timber Tina when she found out Cirie was afraid of leaves - "Does she know what show she signed up for?" But instead of adapting well to it like every single other Survivor with particular dietary habits, fears, and disabilities has, Kimmi made a big deal about being a vegetarian at every turn, including not being able to complete her turn in a challenge (even if she did make up for it later) and making a huge deal about the chickens (even if it did get a hilarious reaction out of Alicia). Despite being a pre-merge boot, however, Kimmi was totally responsible for Kucha being demolished at the merge, by revealing to Tina at a challenge that Jeff was the one who had votes on him. Back then, the tiebreaker was who had more votes at previous tribal councils, so when the two original tribes went into the merge at 5 each, the Ogakors knew exactly who to put their votes on, resulting in Jeff being eliminated by tiebreaker and Ogakor dominating pretty much all of the post-merge. The one thing that saves Kimmi from being lower on this list is that at least she now owns up to spilling the beans about Jeff (nobody could prove it before because it was one of those rare Survivor moments that wasn't caught on tape, despite changing the entire game).


391. Tyson Apostol (Heroes vs. Villains, 15th place)

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Speaking of people f***ing up the game even after they're gone, here's Tyson. In the first few episodes of Heroes vs. Villains, Tyson, who was a huge personality in Tocantins, barely got any screen time, so it was pretty obvious that he was either going to be an early boot or irrelevant to the outcome of the game. Well, turns out he was an early boot but was anything but irrelevant. Going into tribal council in episode 6, the villains had 9 people. There was a fairly obvious 6-3 split, with Rob, Tyson, Sandra, Courtney, Jerri and Coach on one side, and Russell, Parvati and Danielle on the other side. Seems like the vote should be easy. Only problem is Russell has a hidden immunity idol and everybody knows it, so it's going to be difficult to pinpoint which of his alliance members he's going to use it on. Then Rob comes up with a great plan to trap them, which really isn't even that great because it's been thought of since the hidden immunity idol was first introduced. It just had never worked. Rob, Tyson and Sandra would vote for Russell. Jerri, Courtney and Coach would vote for Parvati. Russell would play his immunity idol on one of the two of them, and the other one would be voted out in the tiebreaker, since it would be 3-3 with Russell, Parvati and Danielle's votes. Unfortunately, Tyson decides to switch his vote because he wants to risk it and take Parvati out. And I hate how this was shown, because it was made to look like Russell was the one who got him to switch, however Tyson revealed post-show that his discussion with Russell had absolutely no influence on his vote. We'll get to that more in Russell's write up. So Tyson switches his vote, Russell plays his idol on Parvati, and Tyson essentially becomes the first person ever to vote themselves out of Survivor. And he ruined the endgame by allowing an awful alliance to go into the merge intact, eventually making it to the end. So screw him.

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AdmiralZephyr
06/05/12 2:30:00 PM
#237:


390. A first boot
389. Someone from Redemption Island who was still alive at the beginning of the finale
388. Someone from China (the season, not necessarily the country)
387. A female who made it to the end and got at least one jury vote
386. The second-time incarnation of someone who played at least three times

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ImTheMacheteGuy
06/05/12 2:37:00 PM
#238:


Glad to see Laura that low. I didn't even find her attractive in the slightest. If she never once spoke, she'd probably look a little bit better

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WilhuffTarkin
06/05/12 3:47:00 PM
#239:


Aras is definitely bottom tier for people who have won it. He and Danielle made up what was arguably the worst final two since Vecepia and Neleh.

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Slanted_Silver
06/05/12 5:03:00 PM
#240:


Tyson was awesome in Tocantins but awful in HvV for sure.

I'm shocked Christina (One World) is a no show so far. She is completely worthless

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Xuxon
06/05/12 5:08:00 PM
#241:


I liked Aras, Laura and Blake so this last batch has been a bit disappointing. I had a vague feeling it might be Laura given how much they emphasized the grandmother thing.

Screw Kimmi though, better fit for that spot than what I guessed.
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AdmiralZephyr
06/05/12 5:22:00 PM
#242:


Slanted_Silver posted...
I'm shocked Christina (One World) is a no show so far. She is completely worthless



Being completely worthless at least gets you above the people that I hate.

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Mik_Pick
06/05/12 5:28:00 PM
#243:


I disagree with a decent amount of these but I still respect your opinions and you for going through with this.

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Pondos
06/05/12 6:29:00 PM
#244:


AdmiralZephyr posted...
Slanted_Silver posted...
I'm shocked Christina (One World) is a no show so far. She is completely worthless



Being completely worthless at least gets you above the people that I hate.


But she's also annoyingly stupid

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Xuxon
06/05/12 6:30:00 PM
#245:


I found her stupidity funny. She didn't annoy me at all, personally.
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AdmiralZephyr
06/05/12 6:44:00 PM
#246:


There's still at least one more One World person before Christina shows up, so don't expect her anytime soon.

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Naomi_Diamond
06/05/12 9:34:00 PM
#247:


I very much disagree with your write-up on Aras. When have you last watched Exile?

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AdmiralZephyr
06/05/12 9:46:00 PM
#248:


Within the past month.

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Naomi_Diamond
06/05/12 10:09:00 PM
#249:


Ah. Alrighty.

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Great_Paul
06/06/12 6:14:00 AM
#250:


387: Suzie?
386: Cirie?

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