Board 8 > All-Purpose Wrestling Topic 185: Come with Ryback if you want to live.

(+) Yeah! (+)

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Now Where is John Connor?

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You know, they should name his next faceless jobber "John Connor" just for s***s and giggles.

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And then comes Time-Traveling Kofi Kingston.

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Eventually we need "Sincerely, Ignatius" for a topic title.

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Lopen, watch this match.



Now Kelly Kelly isn't quite as annoying any longer.

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As a side note, I tried to change the last post in the last topic to "Damien Sandow" but it wouldn't let me. :(

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Now I guess there's the idea that Lacey might be like, legitimately unsafe to work with due to not knowing what the hell she's doing moreso than Kelly

But other than that potential problem, her matches are definitely more watchable.

Because yeah, not as much Tennis shrieking and she also lacks annoying signature moves like that stupid tiltawhirl head scissors.

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From: GTM | #003
And then comes Time-Traveling Kofi Kingston.

No, he only meddles in plotlines that actually have more coherent time travel mechanics.

Like Back to the Future.

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IIRC they didn't ask Lacey to do dangerous moves like Hurricanranas, which Kelly tries to do constantly...

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Kelly Kelly doesn't need to worry about being safe in her matches because 90% of the work is done by her opponent for each of her moves!

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From: Lopen | #007
But other than that potential problem, her matches are definitely more watchable.

Only because they're shorter/often involve her tagging out to a partner!

Kelly is still a muuuuuuch better wrestler.

Comparing Lacey to, say, Aksana or Kaitlyn when they were on NXT is quite accurate.

Of course, they're both ALREADY better than Lacey. Well, Kaitlyn is. <___<

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Jakyl, as of 2011, Aksana doesn't remember how to kick out of a pinfall.

Also, Kaitlyn has greatly improved and is pretty watchable. I mean, she's not great, but I'd say she's "alright".

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From: PrivateBiscuit1 | #012
Jakyl, as of 2011, Aksana doesn't remember how to kick out of a pinfall.

What is llama?

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Mustache

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You know, the more I think about it the more I wonder why Aksana got called up.

She plays "ditzy foreign girl" and "manipulative foreign gold digger" well enough but they already ran those angles into the ground.

She's the WORST wrestler on the current roster.

She's obviously very attractive, but relative to the other Divas I would say she's below average.

You hear those rumors that some Divas only have a job because they do sexual favors for Laurinaitis, and I'm starting to think maybe pairing her with Teddy Long is a giant rib, so people backstage can have a laugh when they do segments where Johnny scoffs at Teddy for allowing such shenanigans to happen.

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You know, I never even considered this, but now that Teddy is out of a glamorous job, if Aksana is a gold-digger, shouldn't she be dumping him any day now?

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From: Jakyl25 | #013
What is llama?

This is literally the worst Aksana moment of all time.



HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THAT?

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Hey, that chest has to be top-heavy!

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Literally botching a tag in.

BOTCHING A TAG IN.

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From: SmartMuffin | #016
You know, I never even considered this, but now that Teddy is out of a glamorous job, if Aksana is a gold-digger, shouldn't she be dumping him any day now?

Yeah, I kind of expect a segment where Teddy's like "How could Zack Ryder let a woman play him like that?" followed by the other person asking "Hey Teddy, where's Aksana?"

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But, her voice and lingerie pantsuit are sexy. I love the way she says "Teddy Long."

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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...
From: Jakyl25 | #013
What is llama?
This is literally the worst Aksana moment of all time.



HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THAT?

Wow. That was worse than this.

Taggage.

I don't know what's worse: Erik Watt's dropkick or Aksana's tag in.

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Well, think about it this way. A dropkick requires some semblance of coordination and athleticism.

Tagging in to a match requires neither.

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From: PrivateBiscuit1 | #005
Lopen, watch this match.



Now Kelly Kelly isn't quite as annoying any longer.

I'm not sure what was supposed to be more annoying than Kelly here? The dolphin chatter style laugh of Cameron was kinda cute <_<. And the only one who came close to as bad as Kelly is in matches with incessant noise was Caylee (who wasn't as bad as K2 anyway)

But yeah. Kelly is "technically slightly better" than Lacey but give me crap that's mostly silent over puke that loudly announces every bit of offense they dish out or take.

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Lopen is literally bats*** insane.

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So I'm guessing it was the laugh then huh. HEH...

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The laugh and the fact that they wouldn't shut up at all and just kept on shrieking and doing that laugh, yes, all of that terribleness that is much worse than anything Kelly Kelly does.

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But yeah like my big problem with Kelly isn't that the noises she makes are especially annoying, though they are, it's that she just goes "AUGHGH" "AGHGH" with every move. Like that dolphin chatter laugh is a funny gimmick annoyance thing at worst even if you're not a nut like me who thinks it's "kinda cute"-- it's not something fundamentally wrong with what she's doing. She's trying to be annoying Kelly Kelly is just trying to sell offense-- that's the big issue there.

Lex Luger often had the same problem if we're keeping score.

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Lex Luger often had the same problem if we're keeping score.

Not necessarily the comparison people are looking for.

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Kinda random but that's the only other wrestler I can think of who routinely annoyed me by doing that.

I'm pretty sure some other bad divas in the past have done it too. It's kinda funny that Luger is the only male wrestler I can recall doing it though.

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What's your stance on Triple H and "DOOSH!", Lopen?

H's DOOSH! is fine.

Nash's "ARUUGH" when he does elbow smashes is fine too while we're talking click click click

I just get annoyed when wrestlers do it for literally every move from them or their opponents.

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Foley had his constant "HAT A YA YA YA AH TAH"

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Kofi's high arm wrestling stance speaks loudly to me

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From: SmartMuffin | #009
IIRC they didn't ask Lacey to do dangerous moves like Hurricanranas, which Kelly tries to do constantly...

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tag

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From: TimJab | #036

That kinda reminds me of that one move AJ Styles does, where he moonsaults into an Inverted DDT, but he always lands on his feet first with the guy in position and then does the drop. I don't get it.

Unless there's some thread in the match where AJ wants to do an inverted DDT on his opponent but his opponent is just so good at blocking it that AJ has to find a creative way to hit it, then it might work. But you don't see a match like that very often!

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That reminds me of a Jerry Lawler interview from forever ago, where he was saying he was the only one who actually knew how to do a top rope fistdrop since everyone but him landed before they punched

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From: Jakyl25 | #038
That kinda reminds me of that one move AJ Styles does, where he moonsaults into an Inverted DDT, but he always lands on his feet first with the guy in position and then does the drop. I don't get it.

Unless there's some thread in the match where AJ wants to do an inverted DDT on his opponent but his opponent is just so good at blocking it that AJ has to find a creative way to hit it, then it might work. But you don't see a match like that very often!

I always thought the point of that move was something of a "fake out." Like, he makes it SEEM like he's going for a moonsault but in reality it's something different! To confuse the guy, I guess?

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Lethal Lockdown chat?

B8indacage

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Alright got my plan to head to RAW tomorrow.

My first U.S company wrestling event.

UK/Japan gave me something good, though sucks that Brock hates to travel.

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Wow.

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great main event tonight

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TNA? More like FCW!

FCW - October 30, 2011

We're starting off with a match for the 15 Championship! It's Seth Rollins (c) vs Damien Sandow in a 15 minute ironman match! Should be awesome! Basically, the match is great. Damien Sandow is great and so is Rollins, so it's a fantastic match. Dean Ambrose is in the crowd and keeps heckling Rollins. The referee proceeds to throw Ambrose out while Rollins is getting back in the ring one time, and Sandow kicks the middle rope, effectively smashing the nuts of Rollins on it. Then he hits his rolling neckbreaker and gets the pin! 1-0! Clearly the only way to pin Rollins is by low blowing him. It's his kryptonite! The match keeps going on and holy crap, Damien Sandow shoved Seth Rollins away when he goes for a springboard maneuver, and then Rollins hits hard on the steel barricade. Ouch. However, a fruit rollup gets a pin for Seth. So it's now 1-1! In the last two minutes, Sandow locks in a single boston crab... Rollins gets to the ropes! He refuses to let go for a bit before he changes to a cobra clutch! Still, Rollins gets to the ropes! Sandow is like, f***ing insane and intense during this. Wow. He's totally on a whole new level compared to the rest of these FCW guys-- even the indy darlings. Sandow tries for some kind of maneuver on the top rope, but ends up getting hit by a kick to the head from Rollins, making him sit on the top turnbuckle. A second kick follows and then a hurricanrana off the top rope! Damien Sandow starts to get up and Seth Rollins gets ready for the Avada Kadavra....... when Dean Ambrose runs in and punches Damien Sandow in the head at the very last second of the match. lmao He aims a finger gun at Rollins and fires, then peaces out. Damien Sandow wins 2-1 and gains the 15 Championship! YAY! GO MY DAMIEN SANDOW! BEST 15 CHAMPION EVER! YAAAAAAAY! Damien Sandow doesn't really realize he won, but then celebrates full force when he realizes it! He even starts laughing at Rollins. Wonderful.

Hey, it's Jinder Mahal! Next up is Percy Watson & Titus O'Neil vs Jinder Mahal & Rick Victor.

Regal: Did I ever tell you about the time I was manhandled by a transvestite in Europe? I think I did once, didn't I?
Matt: I think I have a couple of times... We were in Germany and... well.

Haha. Okay guys, Jinder Mahal somehow wrestlers great in FCW, but his work suffers in WWE. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN? I knew I wasn't crazy for liking Jinder Mahal so much in FCW! Anyway, Rick Victor goes to tag in Jinder Mahal eventually and Jinder walks away shouting arrogantly in... um, whatever language he speaks. Rick Victor turns around into Clash of the Titus. And then Percy and Titus win.

I think it's worth noting that it's the third time I've seen a The Ascension promo this episode. The weird thing? There's only two different ones.

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Next up is Brad Maddox vs Briley Pierce! WTF THEY CHANGED BRAD MADDOX'S THEME!? WHYYYYY? I'm so sad right now. It's so inferior to his old one! I did some research and found out it was this song:



Whaaaaat? Whyyyyyy? Anyway, Brad Maddox dances to the ring before going into his bow and arrow pose. I love that pose. Oh lord, Briley Pierce the most generic. Wow. Regal gets a phone call and must leave at the start of the match. Wtf? We deserve Regal commentary when Brad Maddox is in the ring! Brad stands on Briley's hand to taunt him. What a heel. Ahahaha he shouts, "Stylin' on the Briley!" And, uh... he ends it soon after with a schoolboy. Clean. And Brad Maddox does the coolest salute ever. He only saluted with his wrist. Ahahaha. He peaces out and Briley Pierce yells that Brad could never do that again. Brad has the most hilariously incredulous look on his face. He then agrees to another match match and enters the ring slowly as the bell rings. He taunts to the crowd... then turns and runs to try and sucker punch Briley in the face, but Briley ducks and hits a dropkick to the knee followed by a Majistrol Cradle. But Brad rolls out! He kicks Briley in the gut and then hits another schoolboy for the win and does his awesome bow and arrow pose. Brad Maddox has such an unbelievable swagger that I don't think many people can match. He's wonderful to watch.

A fourth The Ascension promo. Weird.

Eden Stiles joins commentary now. You'll know her as that fine piece that Cody Rhodes is tapping. She asked for her release in December and left. Anyway, next up is the incredibly epic entrance from The Ascension. WOW. These guys are amazing. It's Conor O'Brian vs Colin Cassady. Colin Cassady was one of Brad Maddox's bodyguards a couple months ago. I think that Raquel Diaz is about to orgasm as Conor beats Colin. Tito Colon and Kenneth Cameron jump on the apron screaming and stomping as Raquel keeps screaming herself. Colin turns to them for one second then turns around back into a big boot from Conor. And it's the three count win for him! Oh yeah, Raquel just O'd all over the place.

Omg, and then they show the two Ascension promos back to back after this match. WHY!?

Next up is the main event, which is Richie Steamboat vs Husky Harris. Eden Stiles isn't terrible on commentary. She's just a bit generic. Husky Harris is wrestling Richie for a while until the ref tries to break Husky off of Richie. Then Husky shoves the ref hard twice. Oh no! Remember, these two have bad blood. Anyway, Maxine comes out with William Regal by her side and yells that this is unacceptable and sends the whole locker room to stop this pretty modest fight. The match is thrown. Then Maxine enters the ring while this is happening and then Donny Marlow is shoved back, which shoves Brad Maddox into Maxine. MAXINE IS DOWN! OH S***! Donny and Maddox just f***ing book it. XD Dean Ambrose was out here too, but he just watched on the outskirts and didn't actually stop anyone from fighting. Ambrose keeps looking at Maxine while she's being tended to by Regal a few times. Then... BAM! Dean Ambrose runs at Regal and starts to beat him down! Regal eventually fights back and Ambrose immediately gets out of the ring. He's standing by the apron and laughing his ass off at Regal. Maxine looks pretty amused though. Huh.

Highlights:

Seth Rollins vs Damien Sandow for the 15 Championship -

Brad Maddox vs Briley Pierce -

Well, Seth Rollins and Damien Sandow in a match is an insta-watch classic from FCW. It's a great match worth watching. And Brad Maddox vs Briley Pierce is great for a different reason: You get to see Brad Maddox! He's got such an amazing swagger in this match and makes a lackluster match really fantastic.

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I did enjoy that main event.

Go Roode. Keep winning. JBL esque reign plz.

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From: Whiskey_Nick | #044
great main event tonight

I thought it told a great story.

Storm and Roode both had their chances to win, but both refused to take them because they were concerned with maiming each other, which ultimately caught up with Storm, who in fairness, started the maiming.

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I read a summary of the finish, but I feel like the ending would be good if not for the likely scenario in that we'll get a REAL match where James Storm wins the title on Impact next week.

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The match itself was great, told the story and worked. TNA is always up for ruining stuff, but I only ever watch them for single matches. They always manage to ruin every angle.

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