Board 8 > All-Purpose Wrestling Topic 185: Come with Ryback if you want to live.

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Jakyl25 posted...
That feud never got its proper PPV payoff. :-(

EDIT: But yeah, we need more Jake Robertses in general. The closest we have right now is...Kevin Steen?

steen is brian pillman

You mean Steen's dying soon?

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does that mean generico is stone cold?

i'd mark out if he started chugging dos equis after matches

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Who would be the closest thing to a modern Randy Savage?

...Austin Aries?

The modern Bret Hart would be...Bryan? Ironic considering who trained him.

I guess not everyone has a proper modern analog. <_<

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That's why Savage is so great, he's unique and can't really be copied.

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From: Jakyl25 | #454
Who would be the closest thing to a modern Randy Savage?

...jay lethal?

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I see timjab must really hate Randy Savage.

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but yeah it would probably be aries

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steen is steen, bryan is bryan, aries is aries

FCW - December 4, 2011

We have Byron Saxton and... Chris Russo? The f***? Where the hell is Matt Martlaro? I don't like this schmuck. Also, I was apparently wrong about it being Brad Maddox on commentary. It's f***ing Chris Russo. He just sounds a lot like Brad. Weeeeeird.

But what I DO like is some Brad Maddox! It's Donny Marlow (c) & CJ Parker (c) vs Brad Maddox & Briley Pierce for the Florida Tag Team Championships! So help me god, every little thing CJ Parker does makes me hate him more and more.

Chris: I don't really understand the relationship here between Brad and Briley. Briley wants Brad to tag into the match, but Brad seems hesitant to do so.
Byron: Well, it's kind of like a love-hate relationship. Briley loves Brad and Brad... doesn't like Briley.
Chris: But why would Briley keep putting himself in that position to be hated then?
Byron: Because Briley Pierce realizes how intelligent, how wise, how great a man of Brad Maddox's stature is, and how much he could learn from Brad, if only Brad would only open up mind and his heart. Which he is. ...Kind of.

I love how Byron assesses situations.

Byron: I mean, this relationship between Brad Maddox and Briley Pierce is certainly a candidate for story of the year. I think Brad Maddox, personally, should be in line for a Nobel Peace Prize!
Chris: What!?
Byron: I mean, the act of kindness here; the opportunity he's opened up to a poor soul like Briley Pierce, my god.
Chris: Quit it. Quit it please...
Byron: I think I need a tissue...

So Brad has slowly been coming around to Briley Pierce and slowly getting more comfortable tagging with him. Wow, that was a unique move. Parker whipped Briley to the ropes and went for a dropkick on the rebound, but instead Maddox grabbed Briley on the apron, stopping him so Parker missed. OMG! CJ Parker kicks out of a jackknife pin after that, walks over to deck Maddox, then does a victory roll on Briley. Briley then reverses it into one of his own for the three count! BRAD MADDOX AND BRILEY PIERCE WIN! THEY'RE THE NEW FLORIDA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! Brad Maddox only heard the bell and looked completely pissed off. He stands up and then looks over at Briley holding the tag titles as they're announced the winners and looks like he does not believe this at all. He has the most hilariously skeptical look on his face. Briley is screaming that they won and Brad tackles Briley to the ground, looking overjoyed and starting to celebrate with him! Maddox is so excited he accidentally drops his title out of the ring and screams at Eden Stiles to give it back. XD The crowd was surprisingly hot for the win, actually. Literally no f*** is given about CJ Parker and Donny Marlow at that point.

Oh god damnit, now we have Calvin Raines vs Kevin Hackman. SILENT RAAAAAAAAGE! He comes out and does some squatting yelling pose. lol Hackman literally can't move more than two miles an hour at any point. Oh Calvin Raines, you're so bad too. Hackman can't even be interesting when he's in a submission! Terrible clothesline, terrible taunts, terribly goofy facial expressions. Silent Rage is attacking Raines in the corner and refuses to let go. He swings around, throwing the ref to the mat. He goes back and Calvin Raines kicks him in the junk and throws him into the corner. Raines then lifts up Hackman's leg and puts it between his legs, then acts like he was kicked in the junk. Byron says, "Oh my god! Wait a minute! Calvin Raines is hurt!" And now Byron is laughing his ass off. That was actually a pretty entertaining finish. ...Crap, I just said Calvin Raines was entertaining.

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Hey, it's Antonio Cesaro! He tells us that every time that we see Antonio Cesaro on our TV, we need to clap our greasy fingers together in appreciation. I hope you guys are taking notes. Not being born here makes him better than all of us. :( Hey, that's mean. He says that FCW should enjoy him while they can, because he won't be here for long, because he's going to go to WWE soon. He's going to bring back to WWE Title and bring it to Switzerland to have the biggest party ever! He warns the major players to watch out and says all he can do now is wish them... good luck. Oh Antonio. You suave SOB.

Maxine talks to Bo Rotundo backstage, and Bo asks for a title match when he heals up. Maxine says sure. Then she kisses Bo and Derrick Bateman walks by and has a back and forth with Maxine, where Maxine is acting nuts. Then Richie Steamboat walks up and tells her that he's ready tonight. I don't know what for, but they hug. PROFESSIONALLY. Byron and Chris talk about Maxine, and Byron has the following to say:

Byron: Listen, you're new here, Chris. So let me smarten you up on something. [Candid smile at the camera] Our general manager Maxine is a kind woman that rules with an iron fist... but knows how to inspire. And when it came to Richie Steamboat, she was simply inspiring him to do... what he has to do. [Eyebrow raise and wink]

Dean Ambrose gets mic time now and says he feels great and healthy because he has 20/20 vision and his hair looks great and has great hearing. He heard that Damien Sandow said he'll take on anyone and calling him out! He says he's INDESTRUCTIBLE! He can't be hurt. He doesn't get tired. And he never stops. And says Sandow needs to run him over with a car in order to beat him. Dean Ambrose is going to take over the world... and if you're smart, you'll get out of the way. That was great.

The f*** is this s***? Some guido looking douche called Mr. Jacked (literally his name) is coming out with Big E. Langston for a tag match. Langston is wearing a red singlet now, so I guess there's that. He doesn't look completely generic. And hey! It's Sakamoto with his buddy Jiro! They're both Japanese. So it's...... "Mr. Jacked" Nick Rogers (god damnit) & Big E. Langston vs Jiro & Sakamoto.

Byron: What are their names again?
Chris: Jiro and Sakamoto.
Byron: What did you call me!?

Byron: Big E. Langston and Nick Rogers, who by the way has only 4.2 percent body fat, are two great physical specimens.

Byron keeps saying Sakamoto and Jiro's names wrong. lol

Byron: If I had my way, Nick Rogers would be in line for a presidential award for fitness.
Chris: What are you talking about? He's not even from America. He's from Vancouver.
Byron: Don't let details get in the way of a good award.

Nick Rogers is basically Scott Steiner, if Scott Steiner had zero personality. So basically, he's today's Buff Bagwell. The Japanese guys are pretty awesome and Jiro uses a ton of awesome chops and slaps. The finish comes when Nick Rogers holds onto the ropes to avoid a dropkick and then tags out to Big E who hits his Big Ending. Langston knocks out Sakamoto and then tags in Rogers. He then yells that he's not even breaking a sweat, then jumps up and hits an elbow drop. ...Yeah, real impressive. Big E. Langston & Nick Rogers win. The weird thing is that Nick Rogers isn't even that jacked. Like, I don't get it.

Then Richie Steamboat, who is currently in a heated rivalry with Husky Harris, finds Husky knocked out, yells for help, then picks up a bat and says "Somebody must have hit him with this bat!" Hmm. I'm sure it wasn't Richie then.

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Now it's Leo Kruger (c) vs Abraham Washington for the Florida Heavyweight Championship. YeeeeEEEEEAH!

Chris: How much longer are you going to be on the shelf, speaking of which?
Byron: I cannot divulge that information, it's confidentiality.
Chris: But don't you think that the FCW Universe would like to know?
Byron: My private health care issue will not be revealed to the FCW Universe.

Haha. Abraham Washington is on his A-game and actually impressing me on this match.

Byron: Look, you do what you have to do to remain champion. Shortcuts are always good in my book because they save you time, and they save you emotion. And in this case, they'll save Leo Kruger the title!

Byron: I mean, how upset would the FCW Universe be if he just walked out of here?
Chris: Does Leo Kruger even CARE about the FCW Universe?
Byron: He understands his responsibilities.

Abe has seriously impressed me in this match. And Leo's been doing very well too. But with Abe, I don't feel like he was carried that much. Abe ends up hitting his unique flapjack and then the IN YO FACE Elbow. He has to crawl over for the cover, but then Leo kicks out. Leo and Abe fight it out again and Leo gets in the Rear Naked Choke, but Abe fights it off and hits another IN YO FACE Elbow! And Leo kicks out again. Wtf? This is supposed to be the dude's finisher. Come on now. I don't care if it sucks, but Leo isn't supposed to be that tough. Leo goes for a cross body shortly after this and Abe rolls it over for a pinfall... but Leo kicks out again! Byron is selling this match greatly. Abe kicks out of a Fisherman neckbreaker though! Leo is freaking out, moves to the ropes, then begs Abe to stop. So then he sweeps Abe's legs and pins him with the feet on the ropes. Boooooooo. Leo retains.

Highlights:

Antonio Cesaro Promo -

Dean Ambrose Promo -

Leo Kruger vs Abraham Washington -

So you need to see the Antonio Cesaro promo so you can know how to properly act when you see him on your TV. And then you need to see how healthy Dean Ambrose is! Then you can see an awesome match with these two guys.

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Wait guys, I just realized something. Ever since Rey Mysterio got injured, a lot of wrestlers haven't fallen on the middle rope or rested their heads there.

...Do you think there's some correlation there?

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never have and never will understand why people have problems with that. is it so hard to believe that rey purposely puts them there to set up his move and has an offense geared towards doing so? don't see the difference between that and guys ending up laying perpendicular to the turnbuckle so eddie can hit the frog splash

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^That.

And Henry literally just did it on Smackdown, lol >_>

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i think the bigger problem is why guys keep attempting flying shoulder blocks against randy orton, whether or not the flying shoulder block is normally in their arsenal

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The only real problem I have with the Rey thing is how bizarre it is when you consider how those moves work when used by anyone else - a drop kick to the knee tends to result in the recipient just collapsing where they are, the headscissors take down style moves usually cause people to flip where they stand, but when Rey uses them at key points in a match, the exact same motion makes his opponents go flying into the ropes even though it makes no sense with how the moves usually operate.

Fairly minor issue though, it's not something that actually bothers me.

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Mistake you're making - overlooking the fact that we might not want to be saved.

You've clearly not been watching Randy Orton matches.

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You never see people getting upset that other than Ryder, no male superstars just so happen to have all their opponents fall on their asses in the corners.

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I was mostly just making a joke with my comment! It doesn't bother me unless it's a really ridiculous or contrived set up, which Rey has been known to do.

And you were thinking of Kelly's stinkface when you made that post, weren't you Jakyl?

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Yes

EDIT: Officially, it's called the Booty Call, btw

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From: Jakyl25 | #469
You never see people getting upset that other than Ryder, no male superstars just so happen to have all their opponents fall on their asses in the corners.

Rikishi and Umaga used to be able to produce that effect too! Although Umaga would just drag people and prop them up sometimes I think.

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Mistake you're making - overlooking the fact that we might not want to be saved.

Well if you're counting guys who aren't wrestling right now, Christian and Big Bossman also constantly got/get guys into 619 position.

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I don't see the problem with Mysterio anyway, since he usually uses moves that are directly intended to put the other guy into the ropes, like drop toeholds or kicking the other guy in the back

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I love it when a person is lying in the ring, not quite in position to take a flying move and he slowly uses his leg or something to rotate himself.

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From: Jakyl25 | #469
You never see people getting upset that other than Ryder, no male superstars just so happen to have all their opponents fall on their asses in the corners.

Actually, I usually refer to that when I explain why i dont think Ryders moveset flows very well.

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I stand corrected

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From: DeathChicken | #474
I don't see the problem with Mysterio anyway, since he usually uses moves that are directly intended to put the other guy into the ropes, like drop toeholds or kicking the other guy in the back

I guess the only REAL issue with it is why he would have such a powerful move based on such a weird position. Like how would a person even come up with a 619?

But I mean its not a big deal. Especially not in comparison to things like the Styles Clash.

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Well, in WCW he used it to fake diving through the ropes while the opponent was on the outside. I guess it kind of makes sense that if he's going to be swinging his feet around, it might hurt if there was actually someone standing there

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It evolved out of his old-school fakeout tope move.

He would get a guy on the outside and come running like he he was going to dive through the ropes on him, and if the guy started to move out of the way he would basically do what we now know as the 619 motion to stop his momentum before he jumped out into thin air.

At some point he must have realized that such momentum given centripetal force via the ropes could potentially translate into a powerful kick to the face, and adjusted his moveset accordingly.

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DEATHCHICKEN'D AGAIN

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Deathchicken: The anti-Jakyl.

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Hey Jakyl, I'm kind of curious. When has WWE (or TNA I guess) made a decision with their booking that has made you most angry or upset?

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And if you want to get conspiracy theorist about it, you COULD say that he actually has always been intentionally using his hidden knee braces to enhance the move. The Cody Rhodes match was just the first time they were exposed.

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I didn't think it would be fair to include WCW!

And oh god, Triple H vs Jericho in HIAC. I vaguely remember that one.

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From: PrivateBiscuit1 | #483
Hey Jakyl, I'm kind of curious. When has WWE (or TNA I guess) made a decision with their booking that has made you most angry or upset?

How prescient of you to not include WCW.

Does the Montreal Screwjob count? <___<

I assume we're talking about from an analytical standpoint. As a mark, the 1997 Rumble shattered my fragile little mind.

The one match that got me closest to saying "F*** this s***" was Triple H over Chris Jericho in HiaC.

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That match turned me into an official "HHHater" (a smark term thrown around at the time) until Backlash '04, during which time Triple H could do no right in my eyes.

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Wait, why did Backlash '04 change that?

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WM XX where he tapped out to Benoit went a long way towards healing old wounds, but I wanted to wait to make sure he didn't win the rematch before forgiving and forgetting.

If you recall, INITIALLY right after WM, Triple H was drafted to SD, and the Backlash main event was announced as just straight up Benoit (c) vs. Michaels. Then when Trips decided he didn't want to work Tuesdays and used his backstage powers to move back to Raw, they inserted him into the match for a full-on WM rematch.

The pessimist side of me thought "Why would they insert him into the match unless he plans on winning it?" So I took a wait and see attitude, and nothing bad happened, so I backed down.

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Yeah, but at the same time, didn't he only get traded back to RAW because they offered both of the Dudleyz and Booker T in exchange? I remember that very distinctly as a big f*** you Trips moment.

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Well yeah, his ego never got any smaller, but I can live with it as long as he's not burying people to satiate it.

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From: Jakyl25 | #491
Well yeah, his ego never got any smaller, but I can live with it as long as he's not burying people to satiate it.

It's somewhat burying to think he was worth 2 dudleys and a booker

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Well in kayfabe it turned out to be a good trade for Raw. <_<

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Triple H is not on my TV, yet the PPVs have gotten worse.

Like oh my god.

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..Has there been a draft announcement this year yet?

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Brand extension is pretty much dead without them saying it's dead.

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I remember jakyl throwing around the idea of one last draft so cole can say how stupid this is

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Yeah it's dead basically. Though Smackdown's ME this week actually used 6 official SD guys, 7 counting Khali (and yes, Big Show is SD now even though he was drafted to Raw last year shut up), which was nice to see.

But yeah I think they like having two world titles so I don't see that stopping anytime soon, so we'll have some semblence of a split for a while imo. Unless THE ROCK (or Punk) unifies them at WM or something.

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