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Poll of the Day > This Smart Toilet Will Know You by the Shape of Your Butthole

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Far-Queue
09/16/23 7:18:16 PM
#1:


https://www.vice.com/en/article/jge377/stanford-smart-toilet-uses-butthole-for-identification

The future is now

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ArvTheGreat
09/16/23 7:22:14 PM
#2:


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U7UBy1usnrg&pp=ygUaQmVhdmlzIGFuZCBidXR0IGhlYWQgbGF1Z2g%3D

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Vampire_Chicken
09/16/23 7:42:20 PM
#3:


If smart toilets were genuinely smart, they'd get a better job.

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shadowsword87
09/16/23 8:11:00 PM
#4:


Help my smart toilet talked to my smart fridge and they agree to not let me buy any more snacks.
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Nichtcrawler-X
09/16/23 8:12:05 PM
#5:


Thus there would be a database, containing that information, connected to the internet? I am not sure anyone should be comfortable with that idea...

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Far-Queue
09/16/23 8:13:55 PM
#6:


I'm perfectly cool with the world knowing the fine details of my butthole

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Far-Queue
09/16/23 8:14:25 PM
#7:


Warts and all

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BlazeAndBlade
09/16/23 8:16:02 PM
#8:


unless it's the toilet from look who's talking too

and this is why you should always check toilet's before using them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RmBQarrygY

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speedpunk
09/16/23 8:21:16 PM
#9:


https://youtu.be/QecplAPd-K4?si=_Me6CJlyzShjH9kD

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Metalsonic66
09/16/23 8:24:41 PM
#10:


Super Toilet

"So... much... clogging!"

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SilentSeph
09/16/23 10:20:09 PM
#11:


Why do we have wikifeet but not wikibutthole

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Lokarin
09/16/23 10:34:41 PM
#12:


SilentSeph posted...
Why do we have wikifeet but not wikibutthole

cuz identity theft... you don't want people to poop like a celebrity, ya?

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OhhhJa
09/17/23 12:08:44 AM
#13:


Buttholes are like dental records. Completely unique to the individual
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Shrek
09/17/23 12:54:41 AM
#14:


Far-Queue posted...
I'm perfectly cool with the world knowing the fine details of my butthole
same

it's already on the internet anyways

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#15
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Amuseum
09/17/23 1:29:19 AM
#16:


Sulugnaz posted...
This is how Skynet decides to eradicate humanity.

One butthole at a time...

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keyblader1985
09/17/23 1:43:10 AM
#17:


Not after I'm done with you

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ParanoidObsessive
09/17/23 4:00:13 AM
#18:


Vampire_Chicken posted...
If smart toilets were genuinely smart, they'd get a better job.

Maybe that's their fetish. Stop kink-shaming.

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LinkPizza
09/17/23 6:12:23 AM
#19:


Haha. Weird toilet

Anyway, I will be avoiding those

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papercup
09/17/23 8:23:13 AM
#20:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJklHwoYgBQ

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Far-Queue
09/17/23 8:39:28 AM
#21:


lmao

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captpackrat
09/17/23 9:00:04 AM
#22:


speedpunk posted...
https://youtu.be/QecplAPd-K4?si=_Me6CJlyzShjH9kD
I miss the days when the Simpsons was actually funny.

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Nade_Duck
09/17/23 9:06:50 AM
#23:


what non-evil purpose does a toilet need to identify me for

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captpackrat
09/17/23 9:09:36 AM
#24:


Nade_Duck posted...
what non-evil purpose does a toilet need to identify me for
It could monitor your bowel habits and warn you if something changes, which could be a sign of cancer or other disease.

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Nade_Duck
09/17/23 9:13:36 AM
#25:


captpackrat posted...
cancer
see? evil. i don't trust it.

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adjl
09/18/23 12:42:34 PM
#26:


This does have quite a bit of value from a health perspective, but I can't help but be quite concerned about the idea of automatically saving butthole pictures to a cloud service.

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#27
Post #27 was unavailable or deleted.
ParanoidObsessive
09/18/23 2:58:43 PM
#28:


Sulugnaz posted...
It doesnt need to keep track of my asshole to tell me blood is a bad sign.

It might help if it's calibrated to tell if you're bleeding bright red blood out of an anal fissure or hemorrhoid (which isn't really a major concern), or dark thick red blood from something internal (which is usually very, very bad).

Also, I feel like this may be the worst single sentence I've ever written and posted on GameFAQs.

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adjl
09/18/23 3:01:42 PM
#29:


ParanoidObsessive posted...
It might help if it's calibrated to tell if you're bleeding bright red blood out of an anal fissure or hemorrhoid (which isn't really a major concern), or dark thick red blood from something internal (which is usually very, very bad).

Also, I feel like this may be the worst single sentence I've ever written and posted on GameFAQs.

There's also a good chance that it's going to be significantly more sensitive to blood than a naked eye looking into a toilet bowl would be.

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teddy241
09/18/23 3:03:22 PM
#30:


Dope i bet eventually itll take pictures and scans and alert you on the quality of your stool which can help detect gastro issues like pancreas, liver, colon cancer bile etc
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Metalsonic66
09/18/23 4:44:58 PM
#31:


Can I have it auto-send a pic of my BM to my brother every time?

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#32
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SinisterSlay
09/18/23 5:04:02 PM
#33:


Great, one taco Tuesday and your toilet starts thinking you have cancer.

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SoreChasm
09/18/23 5:25:36 PM
#34:


https://youtu.be/DJklHwoYgBQ?si=ZzOm_IVexKesWFI8

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JOExHIGASHI
09/18/23 6:10:56 PM
#35:


why does it need to know it's me?

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#36
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JOExHIGASHI
09/18/23 6:37:50 PM
#37:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

what powers does it have?

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adjl
09/18/23 6:40:58 PM
#38:


JOExHIGASHI posted...
why does it need to know it's me?

To compare your results to your previous poops.

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potdnewb
09/18/23 6:40:58 PM
#39:


this is the official song for the toilet
https://youtu.be/5_1KHj87XrQ?si=55gvZCygWf3T9bt_
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ParanoidObsessive
09/18/23 6:43:39 PM
#40:


SinisterSlay posted...
Great, one taco Tuesday and your toilet starts thinking you have cancer.

And then you're checking your texts on your phone:

Toilet: Taco Bell again? Seriously?

Toilet: We've talked about this.

Toilet: Stop ignoring me.

Toilet: Don't make me shoot up 400 psi of water your sphincter, you bastard.

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JOExHIGASHI
09/18/23 6:55:30 PM
#41:


adjl posted...
To compare your results to your previous poops.
It'd be kinda cool to beat my high score

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#42
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angeleyes94
09/19/23 3:13:07 AM
#43:


It's yyyyyyyuge

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SunWuKung420
09/19/23 1:03:38 PM
#44:


Stings new hit single, "The Shape of Your Shart".

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joemodda
09/19/23 2:43:22 PM
#45:


I ain't falling for this trick again

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Yellow
09/19/23 2:56:02 PM
#46:


I'm glad to see this is just a joke from researchers for the most part
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adjl
09/19/23 4:21:08 PM
#47:


The fact that they also mentioned fingerprint scanning on the flush lever does make the whole buttprinting thing kind of silly. It'd be even easier to just have buttons for the various profiles it can store, or possibly integrate with an app (which it would probably do anyway to deliver your results) and identify the user when their phone came into pooping range.

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argonautweakend
09/19/23 6:16:00 PM
#48:


...And you will know us by the shape of butthole
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#49
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ParanoidObsessive
09/19/23 11:54:47 PM
#50:


argonautweakend posted...
...And you will know us by the shape of butthole

Was waiting for someone to make this reference. Kind of surprised it took so long.

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