Current Events > We should stop treating sexuality as something that HAS to be announced

(+) Yeah! (+)

Fluttershy posted...

Where have I said a single negative word about this specific instance or ANY instance of a character or person's identity being announced in the topic

when you said there was 'absolutely nothing wrong' about not sharing your identity you implied that there was something wrong with those who do.

Okay, so you're just making shit up that I didn't say. Cool! Let me make it very clear for you, then: There is absolutely nothing wrong with announcing your identity to the world. Go for it if that's what you want to do. By the same coin, however, there should be zero pressure on you to do so because that's what you do when you're gay or trans or any other number of things. I don't like to pull out my identity in topics like this because my arguments are equally correct regardless of who makes them, but I'm openly pan and I crossdress and my partner is openly non-binary. You need to stop reading the worst possible intentions into what I say for no reason whatsoever.

DnDer posted...

He did.

"They shouldn't need to announce it to the world," sure feels like another flavor of, "They don't need to flaunt it and shove it in my face."

And if that's not what he meant, then, as I said, he framed it very poorly and had that reaction coming.

No, you really just aren't great at reading. "It sounds like this other thing, forget context and nuance, it must be that other thing" is a failure of comprehension.

Garioshi posted...

The 9-1-1 topic, obviously, but I know nothing about the context. I'm talking much more generally about angry mobs of terminally online people demanding that authors stop "queer baiting" by not explicitly stating a character's identities, and even more specifically about that demand actual human beings announce their identities because they're otherwise "appropriating" an identity that they may be in proximity to. If we want to treat not being straight or cis like the unexceptional things that they are, we should not have the expectation that they MUST be announced.

Lets first work on society not getting upset when it is announced. How is that not the bigger issue?

Guide posted...

So tc saw a topic and got to thinking, and made this topic. And you assume, because of your poor reading comprehension and predilection to be ready for a firefight with anything on the internet, that it only has the worst intentions. Never mind what tc has actually said.

This is the flailing of a man who knows he fucked up.

Guide posted...

This isn't at all about "hide your identity please I don't wanna see it", which should be plain to anyone with f***ing eyeballs. But y'all had the pitchforks ready before opening the title.

It is literally, as TC said, about people not owing it, and not needing to validate themselves, by making their identity explicit. People are allowed to want to keep that implicit for their own reasons, whether because of safety or personal comfort or whatever weird personal thing I can't think of or comprehend. That shouldn't make them less valid.

You edited while I was responding.

I'll say this: I didn't find any of that explicitly clear in his original post. Your post is. His post should have sounded like yours if he didn't want to get that reaction.

Also, the context about this topic being a response to 9-1-1 and a bisexual kiss feels like you're giving too much credit to OP that they were posting in good faith.

Guide posted...

So tc saw a topic and got to thinking, and made this topic. And you assume, because of your poor reading comprehension and predilection to be ready for a firefight with anything on the internet, that it only has the worst intentions. Never mind what tc has actually said.

Bruh what

Seeing LGBT representation in media does not immediately make me think Yeah but they dont have to come out like that

Why are you ignoring how much of a leap that is

when you said there was 'absolutely nothing wrong' about not sharing your identity you implied that there was something wrong with those who do.

No, he didn't. Saying one thing isn't wrong doesn't mean the opposite is wrong. You are so wound up by false flags and dogwhistles that you can't just read a thing like a normal person.

God, explaining shit is exhausting. I tried tc, I'm out.

Guide just earned potentially the easiest tag in GameFAQs history. They even had a chance to back down once they learned their mistake but they doubled down instead.

Okay, so you're just making shit up that I didn't say.

i did mis-phrase it but at the same time you still implied that there was something wrong with people who didn't act the way you liked.

maybe you didn't mean to imply that, but you did.

Ok but straight people "announce" who they are all the time and no one bats an eye

Dudebusters posted...

Guide just earned potentially the easiest tag in GameFAQs history. They even had a chance to back down once they learned their mistake but they doubled down instead.

Yup, bingo

Perhaps we all should just take a deep breath.

Everyone: Do you understand what TC was trying to say once they clarified?

TC: Do you understand why your initial post came off as suspicious?

bfslick50 posted...

Lets first work on society not getting upset when it is announced. How is that not the bigger issue?

If you're so concerned about bigger issues, why isn't literally everything you post about concerning climate change or nuclear proliferation or world hunger or malaria? An issue being "bigger" doesn't mean I'm not allowed to talk about smaller issues, and I think it should be implicit in everything that I've said that people that get upset about people openly expressing and embracing their identities are bad.

super_felicia posted...

If they want to share their sexuality, why not?
if they want to share their pronouns let them.
If they are making being gay or lesbian their personality in your eyes so be it. Just dont make a fuss about it and let them do whatever its their life not yours do what you like and stop criticising why do you care enough to make a topic theyre not effecting your life whatsoever

This response wasnt fully an attack btw i kinda was saying it to people like how I interpreted it wrongly by the title. I knew but kneejerk reaction made me want to continue saying it anyway just to let it be known

Umbreon posted...

Perhaps we all should just take a deep breath.

Everyone: Do you understand what TC was trying to say once they clarified?

TC: Do you understand why your initial post came off as suspicious?

I didnt even take it as TC being genuinely anti-lgbt, i just thought it was rage bait.

You dont accidentally post something that suspect and then continue on for multiple posts

Dudebusters posted...

Guide just earned potentially the easiest tag in GameFAQs history. They even had a chance to back down once they learned their mistake but they doubled down instead.

I mean yeah thats pretty much the bigot mantra.

Except the thing with bigots is they dont actually learn; they perform these twisted mental gymnastics to convince themselves theyre right.

Fluttershy posted...

Okay, so you're just making shit up that I didn't say.

i did mis-phrase it but at the same time you still implied that there was something wrong with people who didn't act the way you liked.

maybe you didn't mean to imply that, but you did.

I didn't, and you're just continuing to just make shit up.

Another fine addition to my chud list

Garioshi posted...

By the same coin, however, there should be zero pressure on you to do so because that's what you do when you're gay or trans or any other number of things.

Who gets pressured into coming out of the closet? I think people announce it to sort of "normalize" homosexuality in society and not have to hide it. People are going to wonder why they're always hanging around one guy and talk about it, so might as well just be upfront.

Umbreon posted...

Perhaps we all should just take a deep breath.

Everyone: Do you understand what TC was trying to say once they clarified?

TC: Do you understand why your initial post came off as suspicious?

You don't have to trust me, but I'm just gonna let you know right now that based on their post history, this topic was deliberate and TC does not deserve the benefit of the doubt.

Gay people exist, TC

Garioshi posted...

Some people are gay or trans or any other number of things and don't feel the need to announce it to the world, and there is nothing wrong with that. The same should go for fictional characters and (I don't know why this needs to be said) celebrities. You do not need to perform your identity in order to be valid.

Why does someone sexuality not need to be announced but you felt the need to announce this horseshit?

Garioshi posted...

By the same coin, however, there should be zero pressure on you to do so because that's what you do when you're gay or trans or any other number of things.

There is zero pressure for people to come out. There's a great deal of societal pressure to stay hidden.

That's part of the problem in your opening statement and your assumption that there's some kind external impetus causing people to openly announce these things about themselves when it's much, much safer for them to not.

Umbreon posted...

TC: Do you understand why your initial post came off as suspicious?

I have absolutely no idea what's going on in the 9-1-1 topic (because I don't care), but I imagine people from that topic are pretty emotionally charged right now and highly susceptible to reading bad intentions into statements that look similar despite being completely different. I cannot comprehend continuing to read those bad intentions into what I've said once I've made it utterly and abundantly clear that I don't have those intentions.

DnDer posted...

There is zero pressure for people to come out.

https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/coming-out.html

Like keep in mind as somebody already said there was no announcement. This is based entirely on a character on a TV show kissing another man, and TC is claiming that is "announcing" sexuality.

I didn't, and you're just continuing to just make shit up.

i mean, you called it 'performing your identity'. i think that implies at least some disdain.

i'm not even attacking you, i'm just trying to explain how your post came across.

oh, don't give them the benefit of the doubt.

Garioshi posted...

I have absolutely no idea what's going on in the 9-1-1 topic (because I don't care)

Bro if you don't care why did you make a topic about it

Dudebusters posted...

You don't have to trust me, but I'm just gonna let you know right now that based on their post history, this topic was deliberate and TC does not deserve the benefit of the doubt.

This. This was clearly made to provoke people.

LeoRavus posted...

Who gets pressured into coming out of the closet? I think people announce it to sort of "normalize" homosexuality in society and not have to hide it. People are going to wonder why they're always hanging around one guy and talk about it, so might as well just be upfront.

https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-pop-culture/ heartstopper-star-kit-connor-says-forced-come-out-bisexual-rcna54975
This is the instance that immediately comes to my mind. Nobody should feel this amount of pressure to perform their identity.

Oh trying to back pedal now

Garioshi posted...

I have absolutely no idea what's going on in the 9-1-1 topic (because I don't care), but I imagine people from that topic are pretty emotionally charged right now...

Dudebusters posted...

You don't have to trust me, but I'm just gonna let you know right now that based on their post history, this topic was deliberate and TC does not deserve the benefit of the doubt.

You may be correct....

i do like how it's encouraged but it definitely has the "how do you know somebody is vegan?" vibes to it without the obvious negative association.

Guide posted...

https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/coming-out.html

An article that feels like the opposite of pressure to come out.

Don't feel forced to come out by friends or situations. Coming out is a process. Different people are ready for it at different times in their lives. You might want to be open about who you are, but you also need to think about your own safety. If there's a risk you could be physically harmed or thrown out of the house, it's probably safer not to share. Instead, call a helpline like the LGBT National Youth Talkline to get advice and support based on your situation.

I'm not going to go through it with a highlighter, but that's a really good no-pressure article that emphasizes that coming out is an entirely your-time, your-perogative thing, and not something you should feel coerced into announcing.

Dudebusters posted...

Bro if you don't care why did you make a topic about it

This topic isn't about it, if you have the ability to read. I saw "character revealed to have x identity and Discourse surrounding it" and my mind made a connection to a somewhat related issue.

Garioshi posted...

If you're so concerned about bigger issues, why isn't literally everything you post about concerning climate change or nuclear proliferation or world hunger or malaria? An issue being "bigger" doesn't mean I'm not allowed to talk about smaller issues, and I think it should be implicit in everything that I've said that people that get upset about people openly expressing and embracing their identities are bad.

That's really fucking dense. If someone gets attacked for going to a play, do you say "people shouldn't have to go to the play if they don't want to" or do you say "don't fucking attacking people." I'm not saying only talk about the world's biggest issue. I'm saying within a issue prioritize. Like how we had to stop lynchings before we talked about housing redlining. Redlining is absolutely a huge fucking problem but lynchings had to be stopped first. There are a lot of people that feel afraid to express their sexuality, that feel afraid to write a character as they want to. That needs to be stopped first.

DnDer posted...

An article that feels like the opposite of pressure to come out.

And it explicitly says "don't feel pressured to come out" because this is obviously a real phenomenon that affects people. You're arguing against yourself now.

Garioshi posted...

This topic isn't about it, if you have the ability to read. I saw "character revealed to have x identity and Discourse surrounding it" and my mind made a connection to a somewhat related issue.

The discourse was literally just conservative backlash. The actor himself was very accepting of the role and of other lgbt relationships on the show.

Youre just pretending you didnt knowingly respond to conservative outrage with a you dont have to publicly announce your sexuality post. It was never good faith.

bfslick50 posted...

That's really fucking dense. If someone gets attacked for going to a play, do you say "people shouldn't have to go to the play if they don't want to" or do you say "don't fucking attacking people." I'm not saying only talk about the world's biggest issue. I'm saying within a issue prioritize. Like how we had to stop lynchings before we talked about housing redlining. Redlining is absolutely a huge fucking problem but lynchings had to be stopped first. There are a lot of people that feel afraid to express their sexuality, that feel afraid to write a character as they want to. That needs to be stopped first.

Yes, lynchings are obviously bad. That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to discuss redlining in any capacity until all lynchings stop, or that I need to make 7 topics about lynchings for every 1 topic I make about redlining.

Garioshi posted...

This topic isn't about it, if you have the ability to read.

Garioshi (Topic Creator)37 minutes ago
#24
undefined posted...
What prompted this topic, tc?
The 9-1-1 topic, obviously, but I know nothing about the context.

Can you just not remember things you posted more than 30 minutes ago or what

Garioshi posted...

And it explicitly says "don't feel pressured to come out" because this is obviously a real phenomenon that affects people. You're arguing against yourself now.

I read it as don't feel pressured because there's no pressure to come out. That your friends aren't doing that to you, and you need to decide when it's right for yourself.

Because I know when I've had people come out to me, my first impression has never been, "Now, tell everyone else!" because friends don't do that.

There is nothing scarier than coming out

ssb_yunglink2 posted...

The discourse was literally just conservative backlash. The actor himself was very accepting of the role and of other lgbt relationships on the show.

Youre just pretending you didnt knowingly respond to conservative outrage with a you dont have to publicly announce your sexuality post. It was never good faith.

Where have I said a single word of negativity towards ANY of this? Please, find me a single instance of me talking disparagingly not just of this instance of a character's sexuality being revealed, but of ANYONE's sexuality being revealed in this topic. They aren't there, because you're just making shit up.

Garioshi posted...

Yes, lynchings are obviously bad. That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to discuss redlining in any capacity until all lynchings stop, or that I need to make 7 topics about lynchings for every 1 topic I make about redlining.

OK here's the analogy. This is like if a black guy jaywalked, was lynched for it, and then you make a topic saying "People shouldn't jaywalk."

If lynching is obviously bad then don't use the aftermath to give the perpetrators cover. Defend the victim.

Garioshi posted...

I saw "character revealed to have x identity and Discourse surrounding it" and my mind made a connection to a somewhat related issue.

I'm gonna give you one more chance to save yourself, literally just one.

Here is the context:

The character didn't go on some soapbox to announce they're bisexual. They didn't announce they're bisexual at all. They just happened to have a scene where they kissed a fellow man.

Do you think this is "announcing" their sexuality? Please explain.

DnDer posted...

I read it as don't feel pressured because there's no pressure to come out. That your friends aren't doing that to you, and you need to decide when it's right for yourself.

Because I know when I've had people come out to me, my first impression has never been, "Now, tell everyone else!" because friends don't do that.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/b/be97a2f2.png
This sure does read as "there is zero pressure to come out".

Garioshi posted...

Where have I said a single word of negativity towards ANY of this? Please, find me a single instance of me talking disparagingly not just of this instance of a character's sexuality being revealed, but of ANYONE's sexuality being revealed in this topic. They aren't there, because you're just making shit up.

You knew exactly how this topic looked, especially with the context you gave about it. You wanted to provoke people, and people indeed responded with aggression.

I never said anything about disparaging, this topic was just clearly made to rile people up. You made it look really suspect on purpose.

hockeybabe89 posted...

There is nothing scarier than coming out

Im gay literally just gay not even transgender and I felt a bit nervous and I back-pedalled by saying its possible Ive just not found a girl I vibe with (Im friends with like loads of women in the past and felt nothing sexual compared to the guy Im interested in)
i couldnt fathom how doubting Id be if I came out as a woman and how Id be reacted to

hockeybabe89 posted...

There is nothing scarier than coming out

And did any of your friends you opened up to encourage you unprompted to tell anyone else, or to publicly "perform" your identity?

(What was with that "perform" language anyway? Feels sus just reading it.)

I agree with post #1