Current Events > do any marriages or relationships last, anymore?

(+) Yeah! (+)

My cousins marriage just ended after less than 2 years. Another cousin; his ended after 8 years even tho he was a family man. A girl I work with; her boyfriend left her after like 7 years just randomly because he wanted another woman. A friend of mine is notorious for dumping guys the moment a better looking guy hits on her. She dumped a guy who lived with her for years because a gym junkie hit on her.

But when I say Im not interested in a relationship or marriage because my own bad experiences plus watching everyone elses just blow up in their face; then I get the rants about how Im just too negative etc

No, they don't which is a shame. Unfortunately, this is what happens when you take God out of society, it turns to shit.

I don't look at it like that. Some relationships succeed, and some fail. Always been that way.

If you are completely happy being single, that's fine. But if you want relationships, you have to take the chance. You mustn't be too scared to try, because that won't make you happy either.

Nothing lasts forever

NPC posted...

No, they don't which is a shame. Unfortunately, this is what happens when you take God out of society, it turns to shit.

Thankfully, the few remaining Christians have an unblemished record of marital fidelity and domestic harmony.

The divorce rate is lower now than it was throughout the 70s, 80s, 90s and 2000s. It was lower in the 1950s and before because married women were basically considered property and were forced to remain in loveless and abusive marriages.

My cousin was with her kids' father for over 10 years. They got married, then divorced 3 years later.

I think marriages only lasted back in the day because being a divorcee was like a badge of shame. Now it's like the normal thing to do. Plus these days people really don't care what others think so they do what they want without worrying about it.

I went on 3 dates with a very awful person. It took me months to get her to leave me alone.

ExtremeLuchador posted...

I went on 3 dates with a very awful person. It took me months to get her to leave me alone.

same. She wasnt awful awful but some things about her I didnt like and I just wasnt feeling it. Had to change my number and shut down my social media to get rid of her. Luckily she didnt know where I lived

sonichu posted...

My cousins marriage just ended after less than 2 years. Another cousin; his ended after 8 years even tho he was a family man. A girl I work with; her boyfriend left her after like 7 years just randomly because he wanted another woman.

Just remember, you don't know exactly what happened behind closed doors and are getting one side of the story.

Akuryu posted...

The divorce rate is lower now than it was throughout the 70s, 80s, 90s and 2000s. It was lower in the 1950s and before because married women were basically considered property and were forced to remain in loveless and abusive marriages.

And that's even if you don't start accounting for variables such as if it's someone who has been married before or if it's a couple that rushed into marriage. If you have a couple that lived together before, on their first marriage, and were together for a good amount of time, it plummets even further.

Another reminder that the bad relationship stories will also stick out more. People love to bitch about their significant others but they tend to not have the same volume when things are going well.

Imagine thinking divorce is a problem instead of a solution to a problem.

There's nothing wrong with divorce.

My grandparents have been together for 60 years.

Parents 25.

Been with my wife 5 years.

Depends on the person you choose. We share many of the same values and beliefs. We communicate really well. Etc.

They do, but certain demographics have higher rates of divorce, ie people that marry young are more likely to get divorced, people with higher education are less likely to get divorced.

My parents were married for 48 years (until dads death). Ive been married 15 years.

Cuticrusader09 posted...

They do, but certain demographics have higher rates of divorce, ie people that marry young are more likely to get divorced, people with higher education are less likely to get divorced.

My parents were married for 48 years (until dads death). Ive been married 15 years.

Income is one of the bigger factors too.

Maybe if people could earn a living wage, more families would be able to stay together, instead of cracking under the strain of living hand to mouth?

NPC posted...

No, they don't which is a shame. Unfortunately, this is what happens when you take God out of society, it turns to shit.

This came from a religious woman but her reasoning wasn't soley religion

She said her marriage lasted because she didn't work she didn't have a liscense to drive so she learned to deal with problems her and her husband had cause she couldn't just up and leave.

Now back then it was cause she lost her liscense to multiple duis. Now she feels that way cause she truly believes from a religious aspect a woman should serve her husband. She posted a thing on Facebook of a family hierarchy. God then father then mother then kids at the bottom.

My 23rd anniversary is Sunday. My parent's 56th anniversary is next month.

Me and my wife have been married 4 years this summer, dated for 8 prior. We are lasting.

It really comes down to mindset, it requires work, both parties need be willing to sacrifice for the better of the relationship. You cant coast in a relationship, cause the challenges of being together will break you if you just try coasting.

I admit, after getting married and at the start of Covid, my anxiety got the best of me and I was taking it out on her. I was hurting her emotionally, and once it sunk in with me, I remember crying saying I was mad I was hurting her. I got the help I needed, we are much better now, taking care of the other during our bad times. We bring out the best in each other, and dont hide issues from each other.

I have been married for 25 years, and most of my friend group has been married about that long (my wife even officiated a couple of the ceremonies). I got really lucky to find someone I fit well with early in life.

On the other hand, both my parents were married three times each.

Marriage is way too high a risk for men in the United States, which is a large reason why marriage is less common these days.

I bet in most other 1st world countries, the rate hasn't fallen as much.

Anecdotally, about half of my friends in relationships have been there long term. The ones that didn't work as well were those that got together younger. I wouldn't say they rushed into it, but they were more sure of what they wanted in a relationship. Having everyone on the same page is important.

Plenty are lasting you just hear about the ones that don't and it speaks louder.

NPC posted...

No, they don't which is a shame. Unfortunately, this is what happens when you take God out of society, it turns to shit.

Ahh those lasting relationships where everybody was happy while the abuse was kept quiet. But why do I bother answering to a shitpost.

Anyway, young marriages are doomed to fail. Youre both kids that still dont know yourselves very well. Then people grow and know better what they want from life and surprise, its not their spouse.

I've been married for 27 years.

Marriages are lasting longer now than at any time before legalized divorce

Monogamy is for the birds anyway. I mean have you seen this economy?

Yes, many do last. The first post is way too cynical, but the second post is just crap.

Akuryu posted...

The divorce rate is lower now than it was throughout the 70s, 80s, 90s and 2000s. It was lower in the 1950s and before because married women were basically considered property and were forced to remain in loveless and abusive marriages.

Divorce rate is lower now because the marraige rate is lower.

I've been with my wife for 15 years. Yeah, they can last.

Unknown5uspect posted...

Monogamy is for the birds anyway. I mean have you seen this economy?

You can be married and be poly you know.

Can the world just chill out for a little while? Please?

Euripides posted...

I've been married for 27 years.

Marriages are lasting longer now than at any time before legalized divorce

LSGW_Zephyra posted...

I've been with my wife for 15 years. Yeah, they can last.

Congrats to you both! I have been married for almost 5 months

My first marriage lasted 16 years, but should have gotten divorced earlier as it was not good

The divorce rate is also artificially inflated by people who get married/divorced multiple times. The number of first-time marriages that end in divorce is relatively low

bsp77 posted...

Yes, many do last. The first post is way too cynical, but the second post is just crap.

As they often are from that guy

Im not shocked that a world that says Dont talk about serious topics too early has a lot of unsuccessful relationships.

Nobody even knows themselves enough to share life with someone else. This includes talks about finances, family expectations, even simple stuff like communication preferences or how both parties tackle conflicts. Hobbies. The friends the keep.

Nobody takes the stuff seriously, imo. The amount of people who also ignore things until they build up also sets folks up to fail.

This is assuming you have little external factors.

I think people just arent really sure what life looks like five-ten years later and folks lose compatibility too.

It happens. But I dont think statistics are drastically different.

Cobra1010 posted...

Divorce rate is lower now because the marraige rate is lower.

And? The key word here is rate. Plus, good that marriage rates are lower. Less people rushing into marriage that will inevitably end in divorce. Hence, lower divorce rates.

Ar0ge posted...

And? The key word here is rate. Plus, good that marriage rates are lower. Less people rushing into marriage that will inevitably end in divorce. Hence, lower divorce rates.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/3/331a864e.jpg

Lol is this guy okay? Basically said what I said with added stuff but sounds all angry.

Cobra1010 posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/3/331864e.jpg

Lol is this guy okay? Basically said what I said with added stuff but sounds all angry.

I think it was just confusion if you meant divorce rates vs actual divorce numbers. I think he thought you meant that divorce is down simply because marriage is down, but divorce rates lowered as well

The rate of divorce is given as a percentage of marriages.

I feel couples should live together for at least a year before getting married. One can put on a mask for dates and shit. Live together for a extended period and they will eventually reveal their true selves.

No they don't and honestly it's based. Why let Death part you, that bitch can go suck an egg (I'm not secretly in love with Lady Death)

Celebrating my 20th anniversary this year.

ai123 posted...

The rate of divorce is given as a percentage of marriages.

It's pretty bad how people don't get this.

Cobra1010 posted...

Divorce rate is lower now because the marraige rate is lower.

No, The divorce rate is a percentage of total marriages. The rate cannot be lower or higher merely based on the amount of marriages.

@TC it may be shitty in your locality, but more marriages are permanent and happier nowadays. The nadir of marriage was in the 80s, but the overall trend has been gradual improvement.

imagine marriages lasting in a culture that doesn't consider vows to be sacred

Yes.

Cobra1010 posted...

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/3/331a864e.jpg

Lol is this guy okay? Basically said what I said with added stuff but sounds all angry.

I didn't say exactly what you said. Because marriage rates do not affect divorce rates...

I also feel like marriage/divorce rates are mostly brought up by people who wont or cant get married and just feel like shitting on other peoples happiness.

Any lasting/meaningful relationship takes work. If people aren't willing to put in the work then divorce is inevitable. Although some divorces are truly warranted. But the only people that can decide that are the ones getting the divorce.

My partner and I celebrated 28 years last weekend.

There was a couple I knew in high school who are still together. I dont keep in contact with most people from high school, but a number who were married havent been divorced or otherwise separated to my knowledge.
However, follies that can end a marriage arent exclusive to the young.

Sufferedphoenix posted...

I feel couples should live together for at least a year before getting married. One can put on a mask for dates and shit. Live together for a extended period and they will eventually reveal their true selves.

Studies say otherwise.
They did a newer study not long ago to confirm that it's still the case. The only difference now, is that currently couples that are engaged before moving in together are still more likely to stay together.