Current Events > do any marriages or relationships last, anymore?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Jiek_Fafn posted...

Studies say otherwise.
They did a newer study not long ago to confirm that it's still the case. The only difference now, is that currently couples that are engaged before moving in together are still more likely to stay together.

Makes no sense. When you live together you get to see how each other is truly.

Sure, if you put the work in.

My wife and I's 20th anniversary is this may.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/5/5a5de8ea.jpg

Sufferedphoenix posted...

Makes no sense. When you live together you get to see how each other is truly.

It does make sense, when you consider that the people who don't live together before marriage are more likely to be traditionally minded. I.E. won't get divorced even if they should.

Goldice posted...

It does make sense, when you consider that the people who don't live together before marriage are more likely to be traditionally minded. I.E. won't get divorced even if they should.

I didn't mean them move in right away. Just before marriage like maybe after getting engaged.

Personally I feel marriage should be a slow process like by that time you've known them at least a couple years

Been married 49 years now.

I love and care for my girlfriend but I desperately need my relationship to end because her emotional mood swings are suffocating me and giving me intense anxiety and feelings of internal emotional pain.

I think most relationships people are in are actually not healthy even though there may be beginning care between the two people, due to unresolved emotional issues that a lot of people are dealing with that we all may not even know that we/they are dealing with, until it's too late and we're in situations that aren't necessarily easy to get out of.

Or maybe I'm just jaded due to my own personal experiences

NPC posted...

this is what happens when you take God out of society

HAHAHA yep its because we dont have enough god in our lives, yup.

or do you mean it in the republican sense with their views on no fault divorce and forced childbirth to keep women trapped and subservient like they claim god intended?

Goldice posted...

It does make sense, when you consider that the people who don't live together before marriage are more likely to be traditionally minded. I.E. won't get divorced even if they should.

Nah, usually the woman wises up after a few years and starts a get out plan.

It takes two people who are emotionally mature, know how to talk to eachother, have healthy boundaries, and can put their egos aside.

2Pacavelli posted...

I love and care for my girlfriend but I desperately need my relationship to end because her emotional mood swings are suffocating me and giving me intense anxiety and feelings of internal emotional pain.

@2Pacavelli

So the question is how bad is it? Some guys have very low tolerance for any level of emotion and claim issues when there aren't any, and they will likely have issues with most people. If that is the case, you may be the problem.

OR... she is extreme, maybe has BPD, and you would likely be better off with someone else. Have you spoken with her about it? Is it something she is aware of and is it controllable?

I have dated someone with severe emotional swings, likely BPD, and it was not fun, despite how great the high moments were.

I think most relationships people are in are actually not healthy even though there may be beginning care between the two people, due to unresolved emotional issues that a lot of people are dealing with that we all may not even know that we/they are dealing with, until it's too late and we're in situations that aren't necessarily easy to get out of.

Or maybe I'm just jaded due to my own personal experiences

You possibly are jaded. Many relationships are not healthy, but many are. My relationship with my wife is very healthy, but it was not healthy with my ex wife or that ex gf I referenced above.

You just have to find the right person, and also question if you are currently the right person.

_____Cait posted...

It takes two people who are emotionally mature, know how to talk to eachother, have healthy boundaries, and can put their egos aside.

And this

Divorce is on the decline and marriage is on the increase. More people will be getting married, you'll see. Time for Disney to make more Prince and Dragon and Princess stories.

Euripides posted...

The divorce rate is also artificially inflated by people who get married/divorced multiple times. The number of first-time marriages that end in divorce is relatively low

This is also a very astute observation. On top of the decreased divorce rates and increased marriage rates, the situation is actually quite positive and encouraging for people who believe in true love and prince-princess happy endings. It really is the case.

bsp77 posted...

So the question is how bad is it? Some guys have very low tolerance for any level of emotion and claim issues when there aren't any, and they will likely have issues with most people. If that is the case, you may be the problem.

OR... she is extreme, maybe has BPD, and you would likely be better off with someone else. Have you spoken with her about it? Is it something she is aware of and is it controllable?

I have dated someone with severe emotional swings, likely BPD, and it was not fun, despite how great the high moments were.

It's not bad as it used to be but it's still bad an unpredictable. And it's the unpredictable that has me living like I'm walking on eggshells. The issue is we live together, I don't think long term it's healthy for either of us just due to certain habits we have that don't work well with each other. I'm just at the point where I can't take it anymore. And I think she is too, but we suck it up for the sake of having to coexist with each other

She has exhibited some behavior patterns that people may compare with BPD. But she's not clinically diagnosed with it. She's also mentioned that at times she gets very depressed and pessimistic at times

I'm empathic to a lot of the things she goes through and I'm sure she is vice versa with me. It's just my stamina is low at this point and ges probably as well. We've been living together for almost 5 years now

2Pacavelli posted...

I'm just at the point where I can't take it anymore. And I think she is too, but we suck it up for the sake of having to coexist with each other

This is not good. Can you financially be on your own?

bsp77 posted...

This is not good. Can you financially be on your own?

I don't know if she can, even though I'm the one unemployed at the moment. We both live in NY where rents are high and it's hard to get approved for leases. The place where we're at is mine, and even though I'm searching for employment right now I do have enough savings and credit cards to make sure the rent is paid every month.

For her to get a new place she'd have to find a place with low enough rent that she'll get approved for a lease. She makes about $20 an hour and works till time which wouldn't be bad if NYC wasn't so expensive

My wife and I will hit 20 years this June. Were still happy with things. Yes, we disagree on things, but the good times outweigh the bad.

Euripides posted...

I've been married for 27 years.

Marriages are lasting longer now than at any time before legalized divorce

ItsNotA2Mer posted...

My partner and I celebrated 28 years last weekend.

Dudes, congrats! Honestly happy for you over here. From someone in an 8 year marriage, I gotta ask what your secrets are.

Also asking the same of @ScazarMeltex . I didn't quite you because GameFAQs won't let me quote over multiple pages.

Me and my wife got married on October. Been together 7 years already.

Xenogears15 posted...

Dudes, congrats! Honestly happy for you over here. From someone in an 8 year marriage, I gotta ask what your secrets are.

Also asking the same of @ScazarMeltex . I didn't quite you because GameFAQs won't let me quote over multiple pages.

Thanks. We treat each other with respect, don't try and control each other's hobbies or how we spend our time so long as it's not detrimental to the relationship or our finanaces. We generally don't fight, but if we do we work on remaining calm or at least explaining things in logical terms rather than yelling or screaming at each other. Getting emotional in those types of scenarios leads people to say hyperbolic shit they may not mean, which leads to resentments that can surface over time.

Also, we don't have kids. Which means a huge amount of stress that we simply don't have to deal with.

We simply love and respect each other and genuinely enjoy spending time together.

How can anyone say ce is incel kingdom with a topic like this

tremain07 posted...

How can anyone say ce is incel kingdom with a topic like this

Have you seen the number of posts saying something to the effect of "I'm worthless and unworthy of love"?

ScazarMeltex posted...

Thanks. We treat each other with respect, don't try and control each other's hobbies or how we spend our time so long as it's not detrimental to the relationship or our finanaces. We generally don't fight, but if we do we work on remaining calm or at least explaining things in logical terms rather than yelling or screaming at each other. Getting emotional in those types of scenarios leads people to say hyperbolic shit they may not mean, which leads to resentments that can surface over time.

Also, we don't have kids. Which means a huge amount of stress that we simply don't have to deal with.

We simply love and respect each other and genuinely enjoy spending time together.

Reading that made me think of our own marriage. Especially the no kids part. Yeah, I guess we're doin' it right, then.

Thanks for sharing. I really do appreciate it.

Kind of a weird question. What counts as lasting and what counts as "these days"?

If they've been married a short time, they haven't had time to count as lasting, but if they've been married a long time, they didn't get married "these days."

My grandparents have been married for like 70 years, and my parents for 38. And myself for 12 this June.