Lurker > MariaTaylor

haha yeah. if you don't erase their memory they will be sad for a couple of weeks and have unique dialogue for it. and I think they won't marry you again unless you erase their memory but I'm not 100% sure on that.

I haven't actually divorced anyone since I normally like to start new files anyway.


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the thing FD posted doesn't happen automatically though. they will remember normally. you have to do some extra stuff with the witch's magic to erase the memories.

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https://i.redd.it/lmoxs9p7cjg41.jpg

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you'd be surprised at how little dedication is needed to enjoy stardew valley. the lack of game-defined closure is a great set up for allowing yourself to stop whenever you feel like you've accomplished self-defined goals. or just whenever you feel like it since there is nothing you're forced to complete. it's a very laid back experience.

a lot of people tend to stop after completing the community center and/or getting married. this is basically the 'year 1 into early year 2' experience that I mentioned being one of the best parts of the game to replay.

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thanks! I was starting to feel burned out near the end, but I guess that was offset by the fact that I also liked the last few characters the most.

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bonus penny

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tl;dr

penny is my waifu

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- 1 -


Penny

Last up, taking the overall #1 spot, and finally freeing me from this topic and needing to do more write ups, we have Penny! Penny is one of the nicest, most affectionate, and most selfless spouse options in the game. She is one of the younger marriage candidates but she's also one of the most mature. She isn't as initially friendly as someone like Sam, but she isn't mean like Shane either. Penny is shy and awkward at first -- often being in a position where she says very little because she isn't sure what to say.

Penny is good with kids and is shown to be very family positive. Some of the spouse options don't really seem like they'd be into having kids, but then it happens anyway because I guess they're video game characters and they have to. It's nice to get the sense that Penny actually wants to start a family with me.

Her default home life and living situation really suck, easily being the worst of any marriage candidate. Possibly any character in the game. I guess you could make an argument for Linus but he is homeless by his own choice and seems to be happy with his situation. Penny is stuck living in a broken home, forced to mature in order to take care of the mistakes left by her irresponsible parent(s) -- the people who are supposed to be taking care of her. She works, but her money goes toward supporting Pam. Probably the best thing I can say for Penny's life in the trailer is that she actually has her own room.

I used to feel like Penny was the only character whose life would absolutely suck if the Farmer never married them, while everyone else would be varying degrees of just fine. This is actually why in my second playthrough I started dating Maru but then ended up marrying Penny again anyway. She's the only person I've married twice. Whoops. Though I wouldn't say this is the only reason I married her or anything. Penny is definitely my favorite female character in the game, it's just this additional information makes it harder to resist getting together with her. I feel less certain about this now, anyway. Maybe Penny does just fine as a teacher, while someone like Sam, Sebastian, and Shane end up having a pretty trash life. There's no way of really knowing.



I really don't have any complaints about Penny, and I think she is probably one of the least flawed characters in the game. I guess, for that, you could say she is a little boring -- but I never found her to be boring either because of her unique home life and backstory that you don't really see in too many video games. I guess I can think about the things other people might say about her.

Bad in laws -- Yeah, technically if you marry Penny this means that Pam has to be your mother in law, which does indeed suck. However, Stardew Valley has an extreme case of marriage blindness where no one in the game seems to be able to tell who you are married to... so ultimately it doesn't matter too much.

Her favorite flower is Poppy, therefore it's "basically confirmed" that Penny is a hardcore drug addict. As we all know, the Stardew Valley community loves their "basically confirmed" theories. Anyway I always figured maybe she just likes flowers. Or maybe she is using the seeds to make muffins, or bagels. Or maybe she -is- getting high. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Sebastian almost certainly gets high, you could make a good case for speculating that Abigail, Sam, Leah, and maybe Emily and Shane also do. Shane is at least an alcoholic with self destructive tendencies. I think if Penny is getting high off of a flower that I can effortlessly grow an infinite supply of for her, and she's fully functioning and our marriage is great otherwise, it's not a giant problem for me. And that's assuming the "basically confirmed" theory for which there is no supporting evidence.

Unlike someone like Leah, Penny will definitely not chase after you. She barely flirts and will generally wait for the Farmer to make most of the moves in the relationship. Much later on she will drop some hints, that's about it. Although it's worth noting that she is the one who sends the invitation for the hot springs date. Penny's method seems to be waiting to make sure it's real, and confirming that you are interested in her first, before she has the confidence to attempt anything. After that it's all sweet talk and cute moments. You just need to make her come out of her shell first.



Overall I found Penny to be a character I had a lot of affinity for. I think she has the most attractive personality out of any of the marriage candidates, possibly of any character in the game (she'd be competing directly against Caroline here). Most of the characters I didn't feel like I had that much in common with, but Penny's crappy life isn't that much different from how my crappy childhood was -- and the fact that she was forced to mature isn't too different from how I was forced to mature. The major difference is that Penny is a much more vibrant and positive person than I am, so I guess she represents a sort of idealized version of "getting over it" instead of settling into the role of being jaded. She was the first character that I went after in Stardew Valley, and hasn't stopped being my favorite. I guess that's all it takes to receive the #1 ranking.


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bump for now. #1 and final write up tomorrow.

MetalmindStats posted...

I met the Dwarf well before I ever met Krobus, though I guess it was probably just unusual good luck in my one playthrough. Also, I personally never found Krobus worth talking to, though my playthrough was mostly very casual, and I probably never visited him on a Friday; he was the only befriendable character who didn't reach at least 6 hearts during my playthrough. At least the Dwarf was in a place I visited fairly often given how (relatively) early I unlocked him.

I guess it would ultimately be subjective but I've had so much trouble getting specific dwarf scrolls in every single playthrough that I have done. it will also depend on how many geodes you crack open, or if you leave them all sitting in a box. taking a stack of geodes to the blacksmith can very quickly fill out the museum.


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- 3 -


Robin

Robin is a bit of a mix between Caroline, The Traveling Merchant, and Marnie. I'll try not to rehash too much of what I said before.

Similar to Caroline, she's a member of the Stardew Valley mom trio -- a group of women who are over 40 but for some reason look thirty. I think the main difference is that while some people are probably fans of Caroline, I think a good majority of the playerbase initially had a crush on Robin when they first started the game. Only to be devastated when you find out she's already married. I haven't played the opening cutscene in a while since I usually skip it, but I feel like you even had the option to be a little flirty with her? Damn you ConcernedApe!

Anyway I prefer Caroline way more over Robin, but I still think Robin is pretty and has a good personality. It's mostly her other benefits that give her a higher spot on my ranking list.

Like the Traveling Merchant, or Marnie, Robin is essential to gameplay in almost any regard. She'll be useful very early on and still remain relatively useful for as long as you keep playing. Her functions decrease as you run out of things that you need to build, but you'll always have to go back to Robin if you want to re-arrange the buildings on your farm. Or if you just need to add another shed or another barn.

I don't think Robin is quite as useful for "sequence breaking" as the Traveling Merchant can be, but she does feel about as essential to the game as Marnie. Probably even moreso. You need chickens before you can make eggs, answering the age old question. But you need a coop from Robin before you can even get those chickens. Yeah, enough said here.

- 2 -


Krobus

At number two, the ultimate runner up and one of the best characters in all of Pelican Town, is my main man Krobus. I probably can't say enough good things about this little guy. His design is unique, cute, weird, and awesome all at the same time. He has interesting and amusing dialogue. Krobus is everything the Dwarf should have been. The requirements for unlocking him are way more forgiving. To meet Krobus you only need to find 60 of any museum items. To get at the Dwarf you need all four copies of four specific, rare items. I don't think I've ever gotten the Dwarven Translation Guide before I got the Sewer Key. And worse, talking to Krobus actually feels WORTH IT. It's no contest between the two.

Krobus is basically the Traveling Merchant of the midgame. When you're just finishing up your early game grind you can sequence break the hell out of Stardew Valley with a little help from this friend. Rather than needing to go into Skull Cavern underequipped, farm iridium, and then try to figure out which items take a higher priority, you can buy Iridium Sprinklers directly from Krobus. At a point where you almost certainly will not have any Iridium Sprinklers. You can convert Money, a resource of which you have an abundance, for an item that normally costs Iridium, a resource that takes actual time and effort to obtain. The only vendor who comes close to this absolute legend is the Traveling Merchant. But Krobus is someone you can actually befriend, AND he's one of the most interesting characters in the game.

An easy #2. And I can really only ever see someone being ranked above Krobus if they are your personal Stardew Valley favorite waifu.

And hell, you can "totally marry but really you're just best friends who live together, but you're clearly married" Krobus now. So he can actually be your #1.

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safety bump

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- 4 -


Emily

As an immediate and fitting follow up to the previous write up, we have Emily right at the next spot. To be honest I'm once again having 'why is Haley #7 though' syndrome. Pretty much as soon as I finished writing up Caroline I realized that she should probably be ranked higher. What does Emily have that Caroline doesn't? Well, she's the only person in Stardew Valley who seems like she might be around 30 years old that I can actually marry. I think Caroline is a lot more interesting and attractive. But I guess the fact that I can't really date her does hurt her ranking quite a bit.

The other thing I really like about Emily is how tall she is. I've always been really into really tall women, and Emily basically towers over all of the other female marriage candidates, and most of the people in Stardew Valley in general. If you compare her sprite she is about equal in size to the Farmer... she can even seem taller depending on your hairstyle and how you are standing. This is probably the first thing that immediately attracted me to her character when I first saw her in the game. Finding out she was actually a more mature available marriage candidate made her even more appealing.



So ultimately what holds Emily back from an even higher ranking is that, while yes, she does have some specific qualities that I rank very highly, I don't think her overall personality is too exciting or interesting beyond that. Emily is a little bit weird -- and I do actually like weird characters -- but aside from that she just seems like a person who doesn't have too many specific comments to make. Her quirky behavior quirks can only go so far when she has very general dialogue. Not quite as bad as someone like Kent, but yeah, I never felt like her personality was conveyed very well beyond her most basic traits.

All of those basic traits are good, but the I hold the standard for Stardew Valley characters pretty high when you have people like Penny and Haley to compete with. Even Harvey opens up and shares his regrets with the player. What do I know about Emily after dating her and being married to her? She likes crystals. And kale. And dancing.

Honestly this write up more sounds like I am trying to trash Emily but the truth is that I do still like her quite a bit. I guess I'm just struggling to convey her good qualities while it's kinda easy to explain the stuff that holds her back from a top 3 placement. I like her hair and her design. Her faces can be a little creepy and robotic looking sometimes, and she doesn't have any expressive and humorous face portraits like Abigail, Haley, and even Leah or Maru.

The new sewing machine is heavily associated with Emily as a character, so I will say that this is another point in her favor. It was always pretty clear that she was a character who was into fashion, having more props to support this character trait isn't bad. But, even better, is the ability to make your own clothes in the game now and this adds tons more customizable options for what you can wear. Heck yeah!



As a spouse, Emily is pretty good. She actually continues to work, she's a very selfless and kind spouse. I wouldn't say she is SUPER affectionate and lovey dovey compared to some of the others but she is kind and does compliment the player, as well as helping out around the farm pretty frequently. I'm not 100% sure if the 'helping out around the farm' event trigger is completely random or if some spouses do it more than others, but I always felt like Emily was helping out A LOT.

Ultimately, Stardew Valley has one serious problem when it comes to marriage candidates. For some reason everyone in the town is either 20 years old or 40+ years old. Instead of having 30 year old marriage candidates, CocnernedApe made all of the 40+ year old wives and mothers look 30 and also made it so you can't marry them. It's really unfortunate to say this but Emily mostly just benefits from an issue of supply and demand. There is a demand for characters to fill this niche, and she is literally the only candidate. She kinda defaults to being higher ranked just because of this.

Still, she is a unique character who has her own charms, and she is definitely worth befriending or even marrying if you like her. If she was actually BAD I wouldn't have been into her, no matter what her age was.

Oh yeah. She has a really cute nose. I can't believe I almost forgot to mention that...

You will also get a unique pet parakeet if you marry her, so there is that. Actually the cutscene where she finds the bird is probably one of my favorite in the game, and makes me laugh every time. The way she goes "My friends!" while the birds are flying by just cracks me up for some reason.

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I'm scared of the contest season purge

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- 5 -


Caroline

Starting off the Top 5, coming in right after Abigail, it's Abigail's Mom -- Caroline! What can I say about Caroline? She's great. Super sweet, nice, outgoing, vibrant, and romantic. She's also what I consider among the most attractive women in Stardew Valley. The only drawback to her having all of these attractive qualities is, well, she's already married. Somehow, she's married to Pierre. Even though he seems not to give much of a shit about her. Yikes... ConcernedApe, Why?

I think Caroline is a victim of societies' obsession with the idea that younger women are more attractive. It's like when I'm playing Harvest Moon and I want to marry Nina but I can only marry Popuri. I mean, Abigail is fine, but damn. I would really prefer to marry someone like Caroline if they had just made her single and available for marriage. It's weird that the developers don't get this.

The closest we probably have in Stardew Valley would be Emily, and to be fair, she is ranked higher on this very list.



Caroline is a little on the difficult end to befriend. Her movement schedule is pretty consistent and constrained to a very narrow range, so that's good. The problem is that her taste in gifts is a little more picky than some others. I never bothered to test out if she likes Quartz -- if she does, then it's probably not as bad as I'm thinking. But otherwise she tends to get annoyed when you give her the same foraged items that are liked by many of the other characters.

Obviously gifting her cheap farm grown gifts like Parsnip is the best option without going out of your way to track down her favorite gifts, but this is a process that requires a bit of extra effort, time, and cuts into your profits. Not always the easiest thing to do in year 1.

In summer you can grow Summer Spangle for Caroline, this is usually the best option if you want to befriend her quickly within the first year.

Caroline suffers from having fewer lines, fewer cutscenes, and fewer face portraits compared to all of the marriage candidates. Despite all of those handicaps she was still able to rank this highly on the list. The fact that she's always in a good mood, brings positive energy to me whenever I talk to her, but isn't overbearing or too outgoing is probably my favorite thing about Caroline. Her personality type really feels 'just right' in the goldilocks sense. She's laid back but always in a good mood.

Her trivia on the wiki page is pretty funny. Apparently she sends you the recipe for Parsnip Soup, which is one of Pierre's hated gifts. LMAO. Also she talks about helping Evelyn out in the public garden, but she's never seen helping Evelyn even one time, ever. And she will say lines about the weather being nice even if it's raining outside. Obviously these minor text glitches just add to her unique charm.



The new tea event is pretty weird, but that is standard fare for Stardew Valley. I like that you can grow tea now even if I'm not sure what the point of it is yet. I haven't messed around with it enough to know if it's profitable, or if you can use it for something else... or if the only point is to give it to Caroline as a gift, and maybe others who like tea. Either way, there's a lot of crops in the game that you'd probably only grow if you wanted to do it, so adding more options is something I'm always okay with. It adds more variety to the game.

But man, to come back to my main point and harp on it once more. Remember when I said marrying Sandy would be neat but it's not like I'd bother starting a new file just to check this feature out? I'm pretty sure if they made it possible to marry Caroline I would start a new file as soon as that update became available.

The fact that Caroline takes every day off, never really does anything, and even brags about how she is 'relaxing for the day' every single day for entire season doesn't even bother me. I mean, I've complained about some of the leech spouses in the past, but if Caroline wanted to do nothing except hang out and drink tea I'd be fine with that. She is just that good.

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List So Far

6 Abigail
7 Haley
8 Traveling Merchant
9 Maru
10 Shane

11 Sandy
12 Jodi
13 Sebastian
14 Leah
15 Gus
16 Marnie
17 Gil
18 Demetrius
19 Wizard
20 Willy

31 Gunther
32 Submarine Dude
33 Desert Merchant
34 Sam
35 Pierre
36 Linus
37 Harvey
38 Mr. Qi
39 Dwarf
40 Witch

41 George
42 Lewis
43 Jas
44 Kent
45 Vincent
46 Elliott
47 Evelyn
48 Alex
49 Morris
50 Marlon

51 Governer
52 Pam
53 Clint

I will say that actually doing the write ups has changed my opinions of some of the characters by forcing me to think more about them. As well as me just playing the game more over the course of the last week. I'd probably make some changes like... I'm pretty sure I hate both Pierre and Alex way more than I originally gave them credit for. Alex I'd definitely rank lower. Pierre maybe still gets the benefit of the doubt for being interesting. Sebastian moves up, maybe not ahead of Shane but I do think he's too low.

I'd also have ranked Haley considerably higher. Honestly I start to like her the more I think about her. She's definitely a top 2 or 3 candidate for me if had to restructure the top 10. It's just the competition gets so fierce near the top it was hard to place everyone on the first go. But yeah once I wrote everything down I was like 'man, Haley is great!' I don't think she surpasses my #1 still, but it's hard to say. I'd rather just leave it at this than turn the rest of the topic into me talking about how I ranked Haley too low.

-- TOP FIVE --
(alphabetical order)

Caroline
Emily
Krobus
Penny
Robin

more coming tomorrow!

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ConcernedApe goes a little bit too far with hamstringing his characters and Abigail is a pretty severe example of this. I wish he would let more of the characters be good at stuff other than marrying me, and Abby is one who would have really benefited from this. Honestly she comes across as a bit of a 'poser' because she's so bad at everything she claims to be into. To me this is much worse that Maru's experiments blowing up in her face -- at least some of them work out, and she even builds a working robot. And yeah Haley might be an airhead who forgets to bring her camera along sometimes but she is smart enough to read about her hobbies and get stuff done.

So here's the interesting and good stuff about Abigail...

Despite what I said above I do think her personality is overall nice... even if she can be moody at times. I dunno, maybe I am just making excuses for her too because I like her purple hair. But it's worth mentioning that Haley being mean to me doesn't bother me either. So while I can notice and talk about both instances, I don't even really factor them into my rankings at all (except in Haley's case for her positive growth and her amusing facial expressions).

On that note, aside from Haley, Abigail is one of the characters with some of the most amusing facial expressions.

Her design is overall pretty great. Especially her hair and face, which are the most prominent features of her portrait. The ripped up vest is a bit of a weird design choice though. I get what they're going for but... ehhh. It's one of the cases where it really makes me wish the marriage candidates changed outfits after marriage. Or just more often in general. But I know how much extra work this would be so I'll just have to stick to admiring mods where people do this.



She hates her dad, Pierre. I also hate her dad, Pierre. We have that in common. Also, unlike Maru, my romance with Abigail doesn't heavily focus on my relationship with her dad. Though there is the one scene where him and Abigail argue and then she's like 'whatever, let's bail on this boomer.'

Abigail is more sweet and more normal than she lets on, which is endearing in its own way.

Abby ranks about fairly average for a female marriage candidate in terms of how nice she is after marriage, and isn't particularly selfish. Since the girls overall act much better as spouses than the guys, her being in the middle of the pack for the female marriage candidates puts her in the top half overall, maybe even the top 1/4.

I think if I was like 15 years younger Abigail would be my clear first choice for Stardew Valley waifu, no questions asked. Even 10 years ago she would have been a heavy consideration for first place. Each character, whether you're supposed to want to marry them or not, definitely has their own niche that they appeal to more than others. If Abigail was 5 years older and acted a bit more mature she'd probably be my #1 easily.

She makes me wonder more about Mona. I like how she hangs out near the grave and considering we know very little about Mona, even scraps of information can be interesting or useful to try and figure things out.

I like most of her gifting options, and her dialogue for receiving gifts. It's really easy to obtain stacks of the things that she likes, and even loves. Her talking about eating quartz and amethyst is a meme that will probably never get old to me.



Oh yeah and there's a lot, like a god damn lot, of fan art and really good fan art of abigail. For a good majority of this list I struggled to find a good picture for some characters, or to find more than one good picture for the characters who deserved multiple pictures. With Abigail my only struggle is narrowing it down to few enough pictures that I can fit them all in one post without GameFAQs throwing a fit. In fact, I'll just divide this into two posts anyway.

-- TOP FIVE --

Caroline
Emily
Krobus
Penny
Robin

(alphabetical order)

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MetalmindStats posted...

Isn't this part of one of her heart events, or am I misremembering?

hmmm.... yeah, it's possible she does explicitly say this and I just forgot about it. it's been a while haha.

- 6 -


Abigail

And here is our favorite rock eating girl from Pelican Town.

Abby is another one of the very cool characters of Stardew Valley who is mostly just overall good, with few overtly negative qualities. She does have her flaws but I would say most of them are part of the rounding process that makes her feel very realistic. And although Abigail is more simple than some of the others, and her goals don't necessarily align with realistic goals in our world, I actually think she is one of the more 'real' feeling candidates based on her pre marriage arc, dialogue, and actions.

I will say one thing though, Abigail can be about as cranky and mean toward the player as Haley, maybe even moreso in some cases. There are days where if you talk to Abigail all she says is that she's in a bad mood, or something along those lines, and if you try to continue talking to her you get her 'angry' face portrait. The difference I've noticed is that people tend to give Abigail a pass because she's a cute gamer girl, which is a trope that the target demographic of Stardew Valley is more into. There's definitely a reason she's a firm #2 behind Leah in popularity; and her fanbase is definitely even more vocal than that. I always thought she was #1 until I looked at the stats. Granted, she might still be #1 overall since it's not like one poll on one website can really capture the opinion of everyone who has played the game.

Okay so let's first talk about what makes Abigail realistic. Aside from the fact that she has some pretty immature attitudes. This is comparatively fine because, unlike the earlier mentioned Leah, Abigail is actually 'acting her age' in a way. Stuff about her arguing with her parents over her identity is realistic, and I'm sure there are people who resonate with that. But for me it's not something I can really relate to at all. It's been over a decade since my parents could complain to me about what color I dye my hair, or getting upset if I say I want to become an adventurer instead of take over running the store. Plus I didn't have that kind of family or background anyway, so it's not like I could easily relate to her to begin with. But now I'm digressing pretty heavily.



Aside from that -- I think what makes Abigail realistic is that she doesn't succeed at most of what she attempts. It's a pretty double edged sword that I think can be endearing, sad, and relateable at times but it can also make her feel a bit underwhelming as a character or seem like... well... the other meaning of sad?

Abigail is into gaming but she can't even beat the first level of Prarie King by herself.

Abigail is obsessed with being an explorer but she can't even clear the first level of the mines.

Abigail has been practicing swordplay in secret but it's apparently a huge deal for her to defeat one slime in battle, and this ends up being a somewhat traumatic experience for her. Not only was she not ready for a real battle but she also feels bad about killing for the first time.

I get it. I know gamers who suck at gaming. There were people in my classes at university who were obsessed with getting into medical school and I can tell you, not all of them did well enough on their exams. And even some of the ones who got in are not going to become doctors. I know a guy who dropped out of pharmacy school and then never went back because it was too hard. He was over 50 years old. We all view the idea of adventure and slaying monsters as whimsical but there are definitely people out there who couldn't actually handle all of the stress that it entails. Making Abigail like this actually makes her feel more like a realistic person.

Okay, so my problem is.... Like... Come on Abigail. You can't even beat level 1 of Praerie King?!


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practiced some RTA stuff this morning and by god... I am like an order of magnitude slower than a real run. oh well. in the meantime I managed to snoop around Haley's house a bit and found something interesting. there's a book about how to build a dark room for her camera -- on the bookshelf on haley's side of the house.

although it does seem like one of the other books could belong to emily. either way, even if they share the book shelf, this means haley reads more than just fashion magazines. and she's good at DIY stuff. and she built her own freaking dark room. pretty neat.

I also noticed that they have a very tiny TV with only a small, uncomfortable chair in front of it. this makes me think that neither Emily or Haley is really into watching TV. if they were, it would probably be a more prominent feature in the house.

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the short answer is that if you feel like starting a new farm you should totally do it. like I said above, I think year 1 into year 2 is the most fun part of the game, and there are many who would agree with that.

on a related note I've been watching some RT category speed runs and it's very interesting to me how differently you play the game when you're concerned about real life minutes instead of in game calendar days. I feel pretty interested to try playing the game in this way at some point in the near future, so I'll probably also be starting a new farm soon. although I doubt I'll go for any world records or anything like that it could be fun to see if I can buy all of the JojaMart upgrades in just a few IRL hours.


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-- 7 --


Haley

[ FOR GIRLS ONLY: psst... I need Coconut... you know what its for. Keep it secret, okay? ]

I guess the main reason I prefer Haley over many of the others is just the fact that she changes more drastically over the course of her story arc. She definitely embodies some of the qualities that I've marked as negative in the past. Haley is selfish, she is immature. Sure, her journey takes her from very selfish and immature to less selfish and less immature. She's actually one of the few characters that becomes more selfless in general rather than only starting to care more about the farmer specifically. I think that quality alone is something interesting, which catches my note. Haley still ends up in the middle of the pack at best when it comes to maturity, and I think the question of selfishness is a bit more unclear.

One thing I really love about Haley in particular is her pretty crass dialogue. That's something I usually find funny in characters. And this doesn't necessarily go away after you marry her or anything either, although you just see it less often (as long as you stay on her good side).



Haley's design changed a lot over time but I think her current design really matches her personality very well. Her original art was a lot more warm, and a BIT more plain looking. Sure, she was pretty, but she didn't look like the 'beach queen' that she looks like now. Which fits her personality a lot better.

Haley is surprisingly not a very flirty character. Even her eight heart dialogue is just a joke that implies she has changed a bit due to hanging out with the farmer too much. Definitely nothing romantic or even sexual about it. In fact, I'd say she's somewhere between Maru and the others in terms of sexuality. You don't even get a KISS from Haley until her ten heart event, making her another one of the 'definitely no sex until marriage' options.

She becomes like really, really nice after you are married. I think she might compliment the player and the farm more than any other spouse, except maybe Penny. To be honest I actually might have been slightly happier if they kept her slightly mean tone a bit more. Haley probably has my favorite 'pissed off' and 'slightly mean' face sprites of any character in the game, her faces are hilarious. It's a shame they stop getting utilized as much after marriage. But I guess it's still neat to see how much Haley changes.



Unsurprisingly, there are many who don't feel the same as I do here. Haley is pretty low ranked as far as marriage candidates go, and I don't think that is surprising to me at all. Most gamer nerds are not going to be very excited about a hot girl character who is mean to them.

Supposedly her and Emily are looking after the house, but you get the impression that Emily is doing most or all of the work. Okay, that being said, you can technically say that Haley is capable of taking care of the house on her own. After all, if you marry Emily she only goes back to see Haley once a week and the house doesn't turn to complete shit. This is a case of the 'lack of post-marriage changes' actually making a character seem more favorable instead of less favorable.

Haley is also mentioned on TV. Apparently one of the letters she writes to the Queen of Sauce gets mentioned on air, which is a really interesting choice, and I think it helps solidify where the core of Haley's character resides. Since her writing a letter has nothing to do with her appearance it shows Haley has a lot more going on besides her looks. This is supported by things like her interest in photography which can actually be seen as somewhat more of an artsy or nerdy hobby. Although Haley seems to wonder sometimes if her or Emily are even related, I think the two have a lot more in common than Haley realizes.



I actually rank Haley up there along with Shane among the characters who get some of the most development and depth out of the Stardew Valley cast. But if you ask me to choose between a trash hobo and a cute girl, I'm gonna pick the cute girl every time.

This write up is making me realize how small the gap between 2nd place and 7th place really is. Maybe I should have just done tier lists.

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this hasn't been a good weekend for projects, but I should have something done by sunday

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neat! I'm really bad at watching full live streams, and especially watching anything where people do a bad job of playing a game that I like. but that's still a cool story. it makes me think of how much gaming and the community around it has changed in my lifetime.

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- 8 -


Traveling Merchant

It honestly pains me to not rank this character any higher than she is right now. I consider her to be one of the most useful NPCs in the entire game... if not the most useful, hands down. It depends partially on your play style. If you're the type who played Stardew Valley one time until you got bored of it, you probably thought she was pretty useful. Although it's possible you missed out on her without thinking about it too much.

If you are the type who obsessively continued playing into year 6, 7, and beyond on the same file, doing everything possible to maximize the efficiency of your farm or customize your layout until you were satisfied with how everything looked... I'll admit, the Traveling Merchant will gradually become less useful over time. Though she is still a godsend at the start. And if you're like me? Well... I consider Year 1 into the beginning of Year 2 to be the most fun part of the game, and I've played multiple files just for the experience of starting up a new farm again and seeing how well I could do. With this type of gameplay I don't think anything even comes close to the Traveling Merchant.



You can get bundle items from her with 1/100 the amount of effort it would take to get those items for yourself. She sells rare seeds that can make a huge difference if you're able to obtain them early on. You can get items for quests. Things that are generally time locked or will take you much longer to set up on your own -- like a battery. Making lightning rods in Summer Year 1 is a bit of a time crunch, and sometimes you'll be stuck waiting for storms in year 2 before you can get batteries. Or you can just buy them from her whenever she is selling them! She even sells Ancient Seeds and Caviar, two items that are needed for the new postgame bundle and can take a lot of work to obtain on your own.

Her biggest weakness of course is the fact that, well... she has no lines, no dialogue at all. No scenes. No real interaction with the player outside of being a vendor. No quests. Nothing. It's pretty sad since she does have a cool design, a really flavorful traveling cart, and is so insanely useful that I would absolutely become friends with her if I could. I wouldn't blame anyone for thinking it was a bit strange for me to place her this high, and she is the character who I figured no one would possibly predict for the top 10. But if you think of it from my point of view, I think it at least makes sense: she really is so immensely useful and unique from a gameplay perspective that I don't consider any of the other 'non-characterized' NPCs to be anywhere near her level.



So yeah, go visit the traveling merchant as often as you can. You really want to take every possible opportunity to see what she has in stock and try to benefit from it. I also love how she shows up at the new Night Market, giving you a few extra chances to buy random items from her per year. And it's later in the year too, when my spending habits are a bit more flexible even on Year 1. Very cool.


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eh, I sort of get that sentiment, but I think it really does not appreciate the complexity of the human condition. sure -- if a person's worth is defined strictly by how many robots they build -- then I guess she has "settled" and fails to reach her full "potential."

but if humans are allowed to just be happy, and spend every day with the person that they love, then I think Maru has a very satisfying conclusion to her arc. at this point she doesn't even need to continue working at the clinic. so it's more likely she does it because she enjoys taking care of the people in Pelican Town.

plus there is nothing stopping her from continuing to work on engineering and science projects. the same as before she got married. having a hard working, rich spouse would certainly allow her the free time to do so.

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- 9 -


Maru

I think despite embodying some tomboy-ish elements and nerd girl elements, Maru is probably more of the "girl next door" than anyone else on the list. She's cute, sweet, not offensive in any particular way, and can easily just be your friend (until you fall in love with her -- and she won't reject you)! She's not quite as friendly immediately as someone like Sam or Emily, but she's not rude or even awkward either. All that being said, being initially nice to someone right away is not the be all or end all for what makes a top tier character. Maru is one of the few universally nice characters to still remain on the list. It's at least worth mentioning.

So let's break down her other core elements one at a time.

Between her style and personality, I don't think many would argue against her being a bit of a tomboy. Most of the female marriage candidates embody some very stereotypically feminine elements to one extent or another. Maru is the only one who feels like 'eh, whatever. I'll just throw on some suspenders.' So if that's the kind of vibe you are into, this is probably the direction you would hone in on.

She definitely has the nerd girl market locked down as well. Maru is shown to be very smart and capable, although she does give in to the trope of having her inventions comically backfire a few times which does feel like a bit of a shame. It's actually hard for me to say whether I'd prefer a version who makes working inventions more consistently, or the comical version that we got. Despite all this she's not really unattactive or anything like that either. She's definitely attractive in her own way. We don't need to wait for that lame scene where she takes off her glasses and magically becomes hot.

I would say the main competition in this regard would be Abigail who is less of a traditional nerd and more of a modern day gamer girl. Abigail isn't really particularly smart and she's not even super into her hobbies, but I could definitely see people going for Abigail over Maru for the same reasons. As for me, I... Almost married Maru, one time. Basically I created a file where I was intending to marry Maru, since she was one of the ones I hadn't married yet. Unfortunately, by the time I got to the end of the first year, I kinda changed my mind and ended up going another route. More on this later, since it would spoil the rest of the list to give more details than that.

Some of her loved gifts are fairly valuable, but not prohibitively so, and they are easier to obtain than some of the ridiculous crap that other characters demand from you. By the start of the second year you should be able to generate a never-ending stockpile of Strawberry to gift her with. But it is more difficult to give up a precious Strawberry or Cauliflower, or even a Gold Bar, during the first year when these resources are more in demand and needed to expand your farm quickly to get ready for year 2. All that being said, getting married before the end of year 1 is quite difficult anyway -- especially with the restriction of no rain in winter -- so it's not that bad if you have to wait until year 2 to start gifting her items regularly.

I think the biggest weakness for Maru, in my eyes, is that she doesn't have as deep or as interesting as a character arc as some of the others. Although this is certainly true for some of the people above her, so this isn't the only quality that I'm thinking about when I rank her. Can't believe I have to specify at this point that I'm not ranking people based on one thing I mention in my write up, but here we are. This is where we've arrived. Anyway, putting her right next to Shane really made me think about this and how it affects my view of her. She definitely lacks any of the scenes or development that Shane exhibits.

At the same time, this wasn't enough for me to put Shane ahead of her. I did already mention at this point that someone's potential as a marriage candidate affects my ranking at this point, and I'd definitely marry Maru before I would ever marry Shane. Does that make her a "better" character? Arguable. Does it place her higher on my personal rankings? Apparently so.

Some of her heart events are a little strange and... almost aromantic, I'd say. Like her 8 heart event, before you start dating, is just a short scene where she electrocutes you and then is like 'oh, I made things awkward.' And then you just leave. Compare this to Abigail's 8 heart event where she invites you to her house to confess to you. Sure, Abigail gets embarrassed as well, but the tone and the scene are very different.



Even after you start "dating," you really only get a cutscene about this robot that she has built, and another awkward scene about Demetrius approving of your relationship. I dunno, compare this to characters like Penny and Emily where you almost explicitly are having sex with them by this point, it definitely makes the dynamic of this relationship feel different. Though, that's not a universal weakness in every person's eyes. If you want someone who is more reserved, and who wouldn't have sex with you until after marriage, Maru is a good choice for those qualities. If you need her dad to approve of you, Demetrius is one of the few cases where this explicitly happens.

Also, I can't find the exact dialogue you get when you gift the bouqet to Maru, but I know she does have some more affectionate regular dialogue that can trigger when you are dating, and does express excitement about wanting to get married after she gets the mermaid pendant. So it's not like she's cold toward you or anything like that. Thankfully there is no spouse who acts as terrible to you as someone like Pierre, for example. After marriage she is actually -very- affectionate, and even her neutral/pissed off dialogue is not that bad (unlike Sebastian for example who can get really pissy and jealous).

Anyway, I could spend all day comparing Maru to the other marriage candidates, but at the end of the day she is her own person. Looking at the rest of the field I do think she measures up very favorably against a lot of them, and I definitely wouldn't rank her any lower than top 10. She may not be the MOST deeply explored character in terms of development or story arc, but she's got a lot more going for her than the random villagers with only seasonal lines and maybe one or two scenes. And the fact that you can marry her as an option, she has lots of good qualities, and no truly major negative qualities, certainly makes her appealing in that regard.



Shane

A really good character with a great arc, although this is one of the few cases where I think ConcernedApe's simple writing style does hold the character back a bit. I just feel like Shane's arc would have worked even better if we were given more scenes, and more time to explore it in more depth. With just a few heart events conveying his entire transformation it can lead to some weird outcomes... especially since the pivotal scene can ONLY be triggered on rainy days, something that doesn't even happen in winter and still happens pretty rarely otherwise. And it's one of the earlier ones.

I've actually had one rare instance where I was unable to trigger this event through the entire winter and ended up getting it in spring. By this point, my heart level with Shane was so high, that the very next day after his failed suicide attempt, it triggered the next two cutscenes immediately when I entered Marnie's ranch... fastforward his development to this extent, and play all of the scenes consecutively, and it really made it stand out to me just how little there is in each scene and how much it relies on the time between the scenes to convey the speed at which he goes through this self improvement.

We're also getting to the point where someone's potential as a marriage candidate is starting to largely factor into how high I'm going to rank them. Shane is... a difficult person to become friends with, and I never got this huge feeling of satisfaction from being friends with him. Normally the main reason I do it is so I can get blue chickens, if I'm being totally honest. I'm not the most empathetic person in the world so an entire character arc that revolves around me fixing someone's life, while interesting, doesn't really endear me to them too much further than this.

Shane is one of the most popular marriage candidates, coming in at #2 behind Sebastian for the male options. Sadly, there's also a really common complaint with Shane that stands out to me. Like... a lot. Once he moves into the house, he gets his own room similar to all of the other spouses. Yeah, Shane's room is pretty messy.



People say this takes away from his arc of self improvement since by the time you marry him, he would have cleaned up his act a bit. Honestly looking at it myself now, it's not as bad as I was thinking after reading complaints from other people. But the spilled soda can on the carpet really stands out to me. Like that's just always there. Amazing. Still, I guess depression is something that never really goes away. And the room is not as bad as people were making it sound when I read those complaints, so eh.

I like Shane's design overall although I do think he's a little too scruffy and dirty looking for my personal tastes. There isn't really much competition as far as the male bachelors go, though. Plus it's hard for me to say that my opinion holds much weight since I'm not really attracted to dudes, especially by their appearances. I guess his hair looks pretty nice.



Unlike a lot of the other familial relationships, Shane actually does express his thoughts and feelings toward Jas on more than a few occasions, which is really nice. It's a little sad that Jas stays with Marnie when you marry Shane, but this is another problem with the difficulty of managing all of these NPCs based on who you might or might not marry, and then divorce, and it all gets really messy, so I get it. There's also times when Shane is actually shown hanging out with Jas at different festivals and stuff, which I always find really sweet whenever I see it. Good stuff. It'd be really cool if you could adopt her after you marrry Shane, just saying!!

Shane isn't her real father, obviously, and I don't think he even really takes on a fatherly role. But their vaguely defined familial relationship is still pretty special. I always got the impression that Shane's brother died and that he was taking care of his niece. But the more I looked into it, the more trouble I had finding any concrete information on exactly what happened. We know surprisingly little about Jas's real parents, which is one of the most fascinating things about Stardew Valley to me. Like if I could have any information confirmed I would want to know about her parents. I dunno why, but it's something that really intrigues me. I think I only got the idea that it was Shane's brother because he always comes across like he feels so inadequate, which makes me picture that maybe his brother was 'better' than him at everything, and then died, and left Shane behind feeling like he didn't deserve to live.



All in all, I think Pelican Town's resident trash hobo earns his place in my top 10 pretty easily. He definitely has his share of flaws, but the combination of being an interesting character and having enough cool elements to endear himself to me at least somewhat, definitely puts him ahead of some of the others. Though I have been holding this back for a while, I will mention... I had been struggling between the placement of Shane or Sebastian being higher ranked, and was still considering switching around the list up to the point where I actually got to Sebastian's write up. So that really tells you how close the last 4 characters have all been, since Shane and Sebastian aren't even consecutively ranked!

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Robazoid posted...

The last one implies she doesn't actually dye her hair. Maybe she was just made to think she did by some sort of wizard

no it doesn't. it implies that she can't remember the last time she dyed it. and possibly, it MIGHT have turned purple after dying it a bunch of times and possibly for other reasons. like maybe eating lots of amethyst. or the fact that she's a video game character.

in no way does this explain how abigail was BORN with pierre's hair color, and had pierre's hair color up until the age where she was old enough to start dying her hair.


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yes, all of those quotes are taken out of context to make the theory seem more plausible. I literally just explained all of this.

now please explain to me how abigail, the daughter of the wizard and caroline, was BORN with pierre's hair color. the fact that she can't remember the last time she dyed her hair doesn't mean much. let's talk about how pierre's genetic material got into the wizard's baby and somehow caused abigail to be born with pierre's hair color.

it's far more plausible that jas is the wizard's daughter. her hair is actually purple, and we know something happened to jas's mother. and we know the wizard's ex wife turned into a witch and left the village.


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and I really need to stress that first point for how important it actually is. not just the fact that abigail's hair ISN'T purple, but because her hair IS chestnut... the same color as Pierre.

I would love for anyone to explain to me how abigail, the daughter of the wizard and caroline, was born with pierre's hair color. how someone with a green hair and a purple hair parent was born with chestnut hair. and just, by sheer coincidence, this happens to match the hair color of the person who is her "fake" father. because really that makes way less sense to me than anything you could ever tell me that would suggest that the wizard might secretly be the father.

the level of genetic coincidence would have to be astounding.


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I've heard that "theory" before but I've never seen any real evidence. it's definitely quite a stretch, though possible to believe it. 'strongly implied' feels a bit overkill for the amount of evidence that actually exists in the game, especially since it's all circumstantial. similar to Linus mysterious backstory... we can speculate on it forever but it's clear there's no answer coming.

abigail's hair is purple: no it isn't. her hair is chestnut, the same as pierre. both abigail and caroline talk about how abigail dyes her hair.

abigail hangs out near the wizard's tower in the forest: she also hangs out in the mountain. does this mean demetrius is her father? the dwarf? maybe mona is her father, since she also hangs out near mona's grave!

caroline used to go for walks in the forest when she was younger: okay? so do I. I didn't have a kid with the wizard.

pierre thinks his daughter doesn't look like him: I think CA added this in to fuck with people after they started making these wild theories. but to be clear, I don't look like either of my parents, so... maybe my father is a wizard, too!

the wizard thinks someone might be his daughter: this is probably the best piece of evidence but only if it's explained to you completely out of context. the wizard constantly says crazy, dumb things that are meant to highlight the fact that he's a bit of a joke character. he's very often saying things that make no real sense and comes off like he might be a fraud, even though he does show the ability to use real magic. in this specific line in question he even says "I could be mistaken... it's rare, but it does happen." this seems to suggest that he's talking about some kind of rare event where someone magically gave birth to his daughter. if he had sex with caroline he'd be more certain than this, and he wouldn't be talking about it as some kind of rare magical event that sometimes happens.

I actually think the 'completely out of context' basically sums up the C+W=A theorists, because most of them don't even know that abigail dyes her hair. basic information which easily contradicts one of the major foundations for the entire theory. it's just something they read, thought was interesting, and decided it was true.

like this idea is so far from confirmed, to me, that I didn't even consider the possibility that this is what santa was referring to.


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- 12 -


Sandy

Sandy is just a pretty cool character and probably the highest ranking of the ones that I think have not much going for them aside from a few throwaway lines, no standout scenes that I'm aware of, and no festival appearances. Now in fairness I've never gone super deep into the postgame desert stuff, and I don't think I've ever maxed out the friendship meter on Sandy. So if there's stuff she eventually does that I'm missing, I guess that could change things.

Aside from that I consider her one of the highest placing among the group of "shallow" characters who I am basically ranking just because I like her design, her vibe, and the general idea of her. Obviously she ranks high enough in all of those categories that she has become a character who many people wish was eligible to marry. I'm not sure if I'd go so far as to make a new farm just to marry Sandy, even if the option became available, but it is interesting. On top of all the stuff that comes with marriage itself, CA would also need to add a bunch of heart events for Sandy which are currently missing. I wouldn't blame him for not wanting to put in that much extra work right now. Or ever!



Of the postgame vendors I consider Sandy to be much better than the Dwarf, but not as good as Krobus. Which I guess is fitting since she has ended up somewhere between the two of them on this list. To be honest, the main thing you want from her is starfruit seeds and... yeah. That's just about it. The other crops are useful if you are trying to ship 15 of every crop, and need ingredients for cooking every dish, but become pretty pointless after this.

All in all, despite her cool design and the fact that I like her, that same 'shallow' nature of her character prevented me from ranking her any higher than this. There's probably an iteration of my list where Sandy makes the top 10, but I don't think she's really on that level.

- 11 -


Jodi

It's hard to think of too much extra to say about Jodi since I've already talked about every member of her family on the way here, and talked about her a little bit in those write ups already. I guess this really demonstrates how her life revolves around her family to such an extent that it's difficult for me to think about what else to say on top of that... which is actually one of the reasons I think Jodi is a pretty great character. More about this later.

Of the mom trio in Stardew Valley I end up ranking her the lowest of the three, but all three of them ranked fairly high and Jodi just barely misses making the top 10. Like Sam, she is one of the characters who is very nice to the main character as soon as you arrive in Pelican Town. You can really see where he learned these traits of kindness and openness toward others. Even if you compare Jas and Vincent's personalities when you first meet them. Vince is more easily excited and friendly, and quicker to start talking about how he likes you more than most adults. Jas is more guarded early on and takes longer before she really even acknowledges the main character.

Jodi definitely struggles with identity issues that I think ring very true to life. She feels like her entire identity has been consumed by her becoming a mother and a wife. The things that she used to do, she doesn't really do them anymore. A lot of her free time is dedicated toward raising and supporting other beings, at the expense of her own individuality. I think Jodi might be one of the best examples of the ConcernedApe style of character who feels very realistic despite the fact that we are only conveyed these ideas in the most simple and effective ways.



I think what really makes me resonate with Jodi is that I've known people in real life who were like this. I'm over 30 now and definitely past that point in life where a lot of my friends started to get married and have kids. You can see how it changes them, and some of them aren't always happy with the way they are changed. It can definitely make people feel a little guilty to have these kinds of thoughts, but I don't think there's anything wrong with being tired as a result of the responsibilities that come with being a parent. And I think being introspective, thinking about yourself, your place in the world, and your identity are all good things. I've really enjoyed the very personal conversations I've had with my friends about things like this, and I think Jodi is a character who always reminds me of that and gives me a similar feeling. She definitely feels like someone I'd be good friends with in real life.

[[ Top 10, In Alphabetical Order ]]

Abigail
Caroline
Emily
Haley
Krobus
Maru
Penny
Robin
Shane
Traveling Merchant

No one wanted to predict the top 25, but maybe top 10 will be easier or more exciting to predict.


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now I only see your dull imposter
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HanOfTheNekos posted...

Yeah, that's why I was confused. Because I didn't see the connection with "immature" as a descriptor, and reading back through Sam's write-up I still don't? I'm not trying to criticize here at all, I just actually didn't follow the thought process.

I associate her with the kind of person who graduated with an art degree and then has no idea how to actually make use of it in the real world. she's not exactly the same, but mostly because the world of Stardew Valley is different from our world so there's no exact equivalent. I tend to think of those people are immature.

we know she had some kind of job, but she quit it. and now she does... nothing? like most of the marriage candidates in stardew valley she has no real job or life prospects, and is content to leech off the main character after marrying you. or if you don't marry her she maybe sells art online or does nothing. I'll admit if you go the online seller route, this is a positive development in her arc, but... why did she need someone else to explain this to her, and to motivate her to do it? an adult could have figured that out on their own long before they met the farmer.

the fact that leah is older than some of the others just highlights these issues even more. like we know abigail is still in school based on her mother's dialogue. what is leah's excuse for not having a real job? I guess maybe it's because she just got out of a bad long term relationship and is recovering from that. but I also tend to think of people getting out of their first bad relationship as still being pretty early in the stages of romantic development as well. literally in the most favorable interpretation she is someone who is still learning what works and doesn't work in a relationship, just ended her first bad long term one, still has no job, and can't even figure out how to get one without advice from you. I'm not sure I can agree if you're going to tell me you think that is a mature character I just described.

plus this quality isn't really tangible but I've always thought she was around the same age as all of the others, because she acts the same as most of the others. so if you later find out that she's actually older, this means she is acting younger than her actual age... which is like the textbook definition of immature.

SantaRPidgey posted...

If Leah gets knocked back for flirting with married people how does Caroline rank so high

I guess a combination of multiple factors could explain it.

1. I did not rank Leah based solely on one quality. As you can see, the write up I did was pretty long. I didn't just look at one thing she did and decide her ranking solely based on that. Nor did I do the same with Caroline. Look how far apart Clint and Leah ranked despite the fact that I directly compared the two and that should make your question seem pretty pointless in hindsight.
2. I'm also not omniscient. I literally have no idea what vague piece of dialogue or lore you might be referring to. Can you explain what you're talking about first? Obviously information can't inform my opinion of Caroline if I'm not aware of it.

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HanOfTheNekos posted...

Haven't seen the extra-marital propositions stuff, but not sure how 'immature' is a word that enters that conversation.

no where in my write up did I say or even imply that she is immature because of those lines. I said that she is immature. separately, I also mentioned that her persistently hitting on me when I'm married was one of the things she did that bugged me. heck, I even went out of my way to acknowledge that this is at least partially because of the difficulty in coding different character interactions. the reasons I think she is immature are totally unrelated and were partially talked about in Sam's write up.

- 13 -



Sebastian

Unlucky number 13 is Sebastian! So I just found out the other day when I looked all of this up that Sebastian is apparently the number one male marriage candidate. Kinda funny that him and Leah were adjacent on my ranking, and neither even made it into the top ten, but I swear I didn't do this on purpose. I didn't even know until well after the list was made!

Anyway, I would also say that the situation with Sebastian is different for a few key reasons. Firstly, a bunch of bachelors were ranked earlier and ranked pretty poorly in some of those cases. While Sebastian might not be a top ten character, he's still highly ranked for me as far as bachelors go. Secondly, the next set of five or so characters are all pretty close in my rankings. So Sebastian is really on the same level as some of my top 10. He was just pushed out by the fact that there are only ten spaces available.

The good, the bad, and the ugly. Eh, I guess there's nothing super ugly or terrible about Sebastian though. If there was he probably wouldn't have made it this high. Probably the worst thing I can say is that, similar to Leah, he's a bit immature for being one of the older male marriage candidates. And, similar to Leah, he becomes pretty selfish and a bit spoiled after you get married. He's pretty sweet before then, though, and it's not like he becomes terrible after you get married or anything. If you feel like you enjoy spoiling him then it's really a perfect fit.

Similar to a lot of your potential husbands, he does not work and just sort of hangs out all day after you get married. You can definitely make the argument that this is just more of a game design thing more than a character choice. At the very least, ConcernedApe thought the most important characters to devote resources to maintaining a job after marriage were Harvey, Penny, Maru, and Emily. Sebastian was not on that list.

One of the best reasons to marry Sebastian is that with his new heart event you can get a terrarium set up inside of the farm where he keeps frogs. As someone who really loves frogs, I think this is pretty awesome. And there's no other way to get it! You don't know true desperation until you've married someone for a pet frog.

Sebastian is an absolute nightmare to befriend early on. The game uses a system where you can't enter a person's room until you reach a certain level of hearts with them. Sebastian spends 80%+ of the time in his room. Yeah, figure that one out. You can't get into his room to befriend him until after you're already friends. Since the limit on gifts is twice a week, you can still do it efficiently. You just have to find him the two times a week he actually comes out of his room. Once you break that barrier you can go see him any time and it becomes easier.

One thing that helps is when I learned that, similar to most of his family, he likes Quartz. That definitely helps, since I'm often carrying a stack of Quartz with me when I'm going around to certain gifting locations. There are lots of people who like Quartz. Something to keep in mind if you're trying to befriend people who don't like foraged trash items.

Along with Willy, Sebastian is one of two characters who is ever shown smoking in Pelican Town. He's also the only character who gets high. At least, that we know of. I guess this is a positive or a negative depending on the person. Certainly there are people who think smoking is cool. And hey if you like to get high and you want a spouse who just sits around with you on the farm all day doing nothing, look, there's an option for that. His name is Sebastian.

Sebastian is shown to be a little bit moody at times, and I do kinda wish he had better interactions with his family. That being said he's not really as 'cold' or 'mean' as you might expect him to be based on his appearance. It's more like he just wants to be left alone by most people? But he doesn't go all sasuke edgelord on them either. It's easier to hang out in his room and let people forget he exists, I guess. Once again this feels like a positive or a negative depending on the person. If you're also an introvert it might be appealing to marry a character who is similar to you. And considering how popular Sebastian is, I'm going to guess there are a good number of introverts who play this game.


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https://imgur.com/BYYr6fn

y'know I always thought that abigail was more popular than Leah, too. but this is because the abigail fans are apparently more vocal. so maybe the leah fans aren't the type who will blast me into orbit anyway.


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heh. well, I just threw out some random numbers. it sounds like you actually have it down to a science!

- 15 -


Gus

The owner of the pub is honestly just a pretty nice guy that might have snuck a bit higher up on the list than he really deserves. He's not an amazing vendor, he doesn't have a ton of unique scenes or dialogue that make him stand out. Buying a bunch of salads is nice. Also it's useful that a bunch of people meet in the pub in the evening, so you don't have to go track them all down, and Gus conveniently sells gifts that work for just about everyone there.

Obviously it'd be better if the Cafe owner was a cute girl with drill hair, but Gus is fine too. I guess.

- 14 -



Leah

And ohhhh boy here we go. This is one of the write ups I was originally looking forward to, since I knew my opinion was gonna be pretty controversial. But man, after looking at the data for the first time recently, I am now ready to be completely disintegrated. Apparently Leah is the #1 most popular female marriage candidate in basically every category (ranked preference, #1 preference only). On my list, she is the first female marriage candidate to appear. Meaning that, in a sense, yes, I have technically ranked Stardew Valley's resident artist and most popular waifu as the lowest.

Okay. Keeping in mind she's a top 14 character still, I wouldn't say Leah is a bad character by any means. But she definitely has some issues that make me not love her as much as others do. I alluded to her immaturity a bit earlier in my Harvey write up, and the fact that Leah is apparently one of the older single women in pelican town makes this issue stand out a bit more. She SHOULD be one of more mature ones, right? Well, that might technically even be true, but she's still very immature and at least Abigail has the excuse of being like 19.

I've also talked about how I have a pretty solid ranking in my head of how selfish the different marriage candidates are. Leah is... similar to Sam in the sense that she is very nice to you as soon as you arrive. And she is really nice. Honestly, she makes a good friend. But man, I always felt like after you marry Leah she becomes a lot more complacent and selfish. Especially compared to the other female marriage candidates who all rank pretty high on selflessness. Even Haley's entire arc is that she starts off cold but becomes one of the more warm marriage partners eventually. Leah is nowhere near as bad as some of the husbands, but she is definitely on the more selfish side when it comes to the wives. Unfortunately it's been a LONG time since the file when I married Leah, so I can't give any great specific examples.

One other thing that bugs me a bit about Leah is similar to a problem I have with Clint... The only difference is that Leah is thirsty for the main character no matter what, similar to how Clint is thirsty for Emily no matter what. One of the big problems, and huge complaints with the male marriage candidates, is that they aren't really flirty enough and so their interactions don't ever feel romantic even at a high level of hearts. I can kinda see why... on top of the fact that CA is potentially less interested in writing that kind of romance, there's also the issue of having the characters not come across as TOO flirty when it's inappropriate. Considering that Robin still asks you if you've ever met her son, Sebastian, after you've been married to Sebastian for 2 years, I'm gonna say that this is a difficult issue for CA to work around.

Leah is one of the few marriage candidates who becomes VERY flirty around 8 hearts, before you even start dating her, and her dialogue doesn't change too much no matter what you do. When I was dating someone else, Leah would repeatedly proposition me to come to her cabin if I was ever lonely, so we could "snuggle" together under the covers. Do you think this isn't supposed to be explicitly sexual? Well, after you are married she keeps the same dialogue but only changes it slightly.... telling you, a married man, that if you ever feel lonely you should come to her cabin so you could "talk" about it. Holy shit. Maybe others don't read as deeply into this, but it definitely rubbed me the wrong way. Essentially the only difference between you being married is that she makes her offer a bit more subtle, acknowledging the fact that you are married and basically not giving a shit. If anything she seems to assume that you are lonely and need to talk to someone else about it. Yeah, no thanks!

Obviously minor issues like this aren't enough to ruin Leah's character for me. She's not at the bottom, like Clint is, so let's talk about the good things.

She's VERY easy to befriend. Along with a small group of similar characters, Leah is happy with almost anything you pick up off the ground as long as it's somewhat edible or decorative. And among this group she's one of the ones who wanders around pretty often, but is still fairly easy to track down. She's like the anti-Elliot.

Leah has a really good, friendly personality. There's lots of unique scenes that you can trigger with her, like even hosting an art show in pelican town. I don't think she has an amazing character 'arc' per se, but she does have a good backstory. The 'arc' is more just you learning about her backstory, and her finding a little bit of confidence in herself. Although this feels somewhat forced, because she seemed to already be pretty confident in herself, I choose to believe this just falls into the 'Leah is super thirsty for the farmer' school of thought. It's basically just an excuse for her to endear herself to you, and compliment you, and make you feel like you helped her out.

And heck, there's nothing super wrong with this. I don't think Leah has any ulterior motives. Her being attracted to a farmer of all things is VERY fitting with her values and her personality. The stuff she does and says is really no different from the normal rituals of flirting that people go through in the real world. Not everything you do or say is 100% genuine, there are some things you just kinda do because this is what people are supposed to do. I would say that Leah is among one of the most "natural" candidates for the farmer to end up marrying.

Still, while I get the love for her, I just don't love her that much myself. I did like her enough to go out of my way to marry her at least once. But... At this point I would pick pretty much every other potential wife before Leah. Which is exactly what I

- 17 -


Gil

Want to impress Marlon? Kill 10 slimes. Uhhh... Make it to floor 25 in the mines or something.

Want to impress Gil? Yeah, kill 1,000 slimes you fucking amateur.

Enough said.

I also like how he just chills out in his rocking chair all day. Unfortunately there isn't much more you can say about Gil, but these are the reasons I think I would have liked to see him more as the head of the adventuring Guild, as opposed to the version we got where all of the focus was given to Marlon. Also he has a cool hat.

- 16 -


Marnie

This is just natural for the middle of the list. She's not bad, she's not amazing, she's not really TOO interesting, but I guess I rank her fairly high among the boring characters. Marnie is somewhat difficult to befriend, at least I rank her definitely in the bottom half of my "how annoying are you to befriend" scale.

The primary factor for this? Her shop is out of the way of everything else in the game. You have to specifically plan a trip to run all the way to the south of the map to visit Marnie, or the Wizard. Even the other characters from that location (Shane, Jas, Leah) can often be found wandering around town. Marnie is more tethered to that one spot.

With that being said I think she is the #1 vendor who has also pissed me off by not being in her shop when I go there at like 1 PM on a weekday SO MANY TIMES. So yeah, maybe it'd be better if she stuck nearer to the shop more often!

Anyway, Marnie is a really useful NPC who largely controls the access to animals. Hey, that's a major part of farming! Although the truth is that you can make millions of gold easily without bothering with animals, and some are worse than others, I assume most of us are not playing the game just to harvest 40 star drops from the greenhouse every 11 days and do nothing else. So yeah if you're into raising animals, this is the way to go.

Marnie's shop is also the most convenient place to trigger the "naming glitch" if there's ever an item that you are struggling to obtain through more legit methods. You can always buy animals, you can always name them, and Marnie will always say the name immediately. I haven't used the glitch myself before but I know how it works, and I have been sort of curious to try it out just to see. Just never got around to it. ConcernedApe is aware of the glitch and has no intention of taking it out, so it's one of those weird defining quirks that will always be a part of the game.

I mentioned in the Jas write up that I think the family dynamic between Marnie, Shane, and Jas is interesting. None of that would be possible without Marnie. The fact that she is looking out for Shane is pretty nice in and of itself. He's definitely the type of person who it would be very easy for his friends and family to give up on him.

Considering how many animal products are needed for bundles, Marnie can be a valuable friend if you're doing a Community Center run. And honestly, who ever sides with YoyoMart?

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- 19 -


Wizard (Rasmodius)

The Wizard is another character who I think is similar to Willy. He has a unique and interesting appearance, some funny dialogue and moments, as well as helping the character early on and having a few cutscenes of his own. I tend to ignore Rasmodius for most of the first year until I have dozens of Void and Solar Essences in stock, then I go bring him one as often as possible for a while until he's my best friend.

The Wizard will let you use some of the magic devices on his property, and also kickstarts your ability to access the magic items owned by the Witch. While doing stuff like altering your appearance is useful, I've never really felt any kind of desire to turn my children into doves and get rid of them. So, yeah, some of his functions are pretty bizarre.

The special buildings he can construct for you are really cool -- like giant pillars that allow you to warp from your farm to any location, a clock that prevents debris from spreading across your farm (this one is expense), and a junimo hut that allows junimo to live and work on your farm. I actually need to test the junimo hut to see if it gathers from animals or just crops. I'd be curious to see. Maybe I'll try to get one soon on my 1.4 farm.

All in all the Wizard provides some useful functions, is a colorful character who definitely adds something different to the cast, and he's not all that hard to befriend. You won't be able to get his favorite gifts as easily early on, but later you will be absolutely drowning in them.

- 18 -


Demetrius

Some people think Demetrius can kinda be a dick, but I don't think he's nearly as bad as some of the other main offenders. I also have a bit of a special place for him in my friendship rankings just because he was one of the first villagers I ever befriended to 10 hearts on my first playthrough. As it turns out, a guy who likes the berries you can find 80 of in a matter of days, is pretty easy to befriend. He also has the perfect mix of schedule where he's generally always in the same region, but ventures out into locations that are close to areas you'd already be running through normally.

I think the tomato = vegetable/fruit scene is probably one of the most cringe cutscenes in all of Stardew Valley, but hey, what's life without a little cringe. My favorite thing about Demetrius is, of course, the cave! Man the funniest thing is that I always used to think that the mushroom cave was the best. Sure the fruit cave would sometimes produce more rare fruits, but it usually just gives you a bunch of forage junk that you can easily find anyway.

While it's true that the mushroom cave can give you red and purple shrooms, those aren't really as useful as the ability to produce specific fruits without needing to plant a bunch of trees on your farm. Especially if you're trying to fill out the bundles. The only annoying one is the 3 apples needed for the fodder bundle. Honestly you may as well plant apple trees as soon as possible, because, uh, your odds of 3 apples all the same quality dropping in the cave are pretty low. It could take a year or more by the time it happens. And yes they have to all be the same quality to donate them to the community center.

The other thing I liked was that it mostly drops a bunch of the same brown mushrooms which stack, and can be brought into the mines for health and energy. Thing is, I've realized by now that there's much better things to bring with you as food into the mines. On top of that, while the ability to have fewer stacks of items is somewhat convenient, you can easily just place a chest outside of the cave and throw all of your fruit in there until you're ready to sort it out.

Anyway I spent way too much time talking about caves and fruits and mushrooms, and not really talking about the person I was supposed to talk about. Which, in a way, feels exactly like something Demetrius would do!


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nice! I also started a new farm for 1.4 and yeah I've had a lot of fun with it.

also don't worry too much about the exact placement of characters. honestly this topic is more just an excuse for me to talk about the characters, I'm not all that good or invested in ranking things anyway. the people at the bottom are vaguely at the bottom, and the people at the top are vaguely at the top. that's about it!

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- 20 -


Willy

And so we kick off the top 20 with the guy who gives you your first fishing rod, it's Willy! Willy is just a solid blend of being a colorful character, fairly easy to befriend, has some comical scenes and dialogues, provides the player with some nice stuff, and serves as a useful vendor. The fact that you can sell fish directly to him without needing the shipping bin is a godsend early on. Willy alone makes it possible to catch and sell enough fish on day 1 to plant a ton of high value seeds instead of just the few Parsnip you're given for free.

On top of that you get the upgraded fishing rods from him as well. Unlike Clint, he doesn't require you to grind for materials, he simply upgrades his stock when you have the appropriate level. Unlike Clint, he doesn't make you wait. He gives you the rod immediately once you have paid for it. He also sells lures and bait, and he starts selling Crab Pots pretty early on as well. Honestly the materials for crafting Crab Pots are fairly difficult to obtain early on and it's not a bad strategy to simply buy them instead.

The other thing I like about Willy is that he indirectly gives you an idea of which fish are available by sending you challenge letters and posted requests on the request board. Willy won't ever request a fish that is out of season, and in the case of the challenge letters he can even be pretty specific about how and when you can catch the fish. This can be immensely useful if you need to catch specific fish, or want to catch every fish, and you aren't inclined to use a guide except as a last resort. I definitely found Willy to be a useful NPC on my first playthrough for this reason, and he continues to be useful on new farms just because of how valuable it is to be able to sell fish and buy crab pots early on.

Oh yeah, dude also gives you a Star Drop after you catch every fish in the game and has a weird obsession with putting strange items under his pillow.


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- 23 -


Desert Merchant

A new NPC who admittedly doesn't have much in the way of dialogue but I wouldn't say that matters TOO much to me. The desert merchant is a very useful merchant, and I'm pretty sure also the person who shows up and gives you free coffee every day during the night market. Which is... really nice, and really cool. However, the really big thing, is the desert market stall itself. Man, I think it might be one of the best merchants in the game.

It is a little clunky because you have to 'trade' items for wares, but the Desert Merchant does carry a few very specific useful things that you'll always be coming back for. Such as trading those stacks of hundreds of quartz you've collected into Bombs.

Definitely don't sleep on the fact that you can trade a Ruby for a Spicy Eel -- a meal that gives +1 Speed and +1 Luck. Those are two bonuses you want to have in Skull Cavern. Although I think the Pumpkin Soup is arguably better, there's really no denying that for the value of a ruby (something I'd almost throw in the trash without caring) you can get bonus speed and luck instead. And Pumpkin Soup requires raising cows and growing pumpkins just for the sake of turning them into food, which can feel exhaustive and wasteful.

You can also get an Artifact Trove by trading in Omni Geodes. So instead of turning your Omni Geoge into stone and worthless minerals that you already have millions of copies of, you can get extra attempts to produce the more rare artifacts that you're likely struggling to find. I consider the normal Traveling Merchant to be one of the most useful NPCs in the base game. And I think ConcernedApe has done a really good job by making this new Desert Merchant probably one of the most useful NPCs in the post game.

You can also buy a special variant of the Mermaid Pendant that lets you marry Krobus. Hell yeah.

- 22 -


Submarine Dude

Another new NPC who I guess I'm really just using as a stand in to talk about the Night Market. So there's a festival in fall now where several unique merchants show up at night for three days in a row and there's lots of cool stuff you can get there. In addition to a Mermaid show where you can get a Pearl for free, there's also the famous painter Lupini who sells unique art pieces for your house, as well as furniture and decoration vendors. The Traveling Merchant shows up for three days in a row with her cart on a raft, which is super convenient, and lastly is the Submarine.

The Submarine Dude will offer to take you to the ocean floor for only 500 gold, and you can fish down there for a while before needing to return back to the surface. You can cut it pretty close, especially since there's also a guy on the docks who will teleport you home, just be careful. Now you might be asking if 500 gold is really worth it just to fish for a few hours? Well... short answer is, yes. I've only done the Night Market once so far, and it was with a character who didn't even have max level fishing and I didn't even go prepared. Heck, I didn't even stay down there for the maximum amount of time. I still came back with around 2500 gold on my first trip! So you absolutely will make a profit as long as you're willing to spend 5 or 10 real life minutes fishing. Or however long it takes. I don't even know how Stardew Valley time converts to real time. In addition to the fact that all of the fish down there are profitable, many of the available ones are unique, and you have a small chance of catching another Pearl.

We're really at the point where I'm simply highly rating the NPCs that I think provide good utility and have cool designs, even if you can't actually go through the process of leveling up their friendship and viewing heart events.

- 21 -


Gunther

And continuing with that, we have Gunther who works at the Museum! The sad thing about Gunther is that he does have a little bit of dialogue, will send the player a few letters, and even has a couple of cutscenes... but for some reason he's one of the few characters who seems to live in Stardew Valley that you can't really get close to, and doesn't go to any festivals. Thinking about it that way makes it seem like Gunther is a bit standoffish but maybe he's just an introvert or something. He doesn't come across like he's super rude or elitist or anything like that so it's too hard to speculate beyond ... the effort to give him more dialogue and scenes simply wasn't put into the game.

Many of the artifacts and minerals you find are barely worth selling, if at all, but if you hand this literal garbage over to Gunther he'll display it in his collection. Bring him enough trash and he'll even give you decorations, seeds, and other things with actual value! Not much else to say beyond how obviously useful that is. He also eventually fulfills his dream of making the Stardew Valley Museum a recognized place, and comes to tell the player about the reward they received as well as thanking you for helping him make it possible.

You will also get a special key from him that allows you to meet Krobus. More about him later!


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trdl23 posted...

Ngl, most of the marriage candidates in Stardew Valley aren't great for me, and that's because of exactly what you noted -- they're almost all kids. (If someone is around or especially below 20 years old, they may as well be a kid as far as marriage goes.)

yeah... I won't say that it's impossible for me to be attracted to anyone that young, but it's definitely a lot harder for me. and not in the sense that like I see your date of birth on your license and I decide to be less attracted or something. it's just, you can kinda tell when someone is a lot younger than you. there's usually a real difference.

Zigzagoon posted...

Noooo Dwarf! The only stardew character I like :(

Oh well

I refuse to believe that you don't like Krobus!

HanOfTheNekos posted...

I can't wait until our opinions start differing.

having already looked at the charts of which marriage candidates are popular, believe me, I know it's coming. there's no way people are gonna be happy with the rest of the list lol

Drakeryn posted...

those Alex/Sam fanarts are legit

hah. I try!

well, actually, I usually go for a mix of good and also comically bad art. and sometimes I don't even know which one I'm choosing, since I have a deep appreciation for bad art to the point where I sometimes think it's good.


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- 25 -


Pierre

How the hell did this scumbag inch his way into the top 25? Uh, I guess by being a scumbag! At the very least, Pierre is a very interesting character. His rivalry with Morris kinda drives the plot of Stardew Valley, if you want to pretend there is a main plot, and in a lot of ways you can see that he's just as bad as Morris. The game cleverly disguises the fact that there's really no 'best' choice for everyone in Stardew Valley.

I talked about this in my Lewis write up already, but, Pierre either beats the shit out of Morris or rallies the citizens to boycott YoyoMart. Either way driving them out of town. And what happens? Sam loses his job. Shane loses his job. Jodi, Pam, possibly others have to pay Pierre's prices now instead of the YoyoMart prices they could afford. Pam does get her job back, and Kent returns to help Jodi out, but still. Sam and Shane LOSE THEIR JOBS. And they never start working again after that. Holy shit. You and Pierre ruined their lives.

Truly one of the most evil bastards in Stardew Valley, and a more fascinating character for it. His relationship with Abigail is pretty cool. He comes across like he doesn't really 'get' her but, eh, this is true for most parents. At least he tries to have a few conversations with her, or about her. He definitely seems more cold toward his wife... something that makes absolutely no sense to me. You are married to Caroline. Are you blind, man?

- 24 -


Sam

And now we get to the reason why I don't care too much about Pierre making Sam lose his job. I don't really hold Sam in super high regard either! He's a pretty decent guy, one of the few marriage candidates who is immediately nice toward the player character as soon as you move in, with no strings attached. Many of the others are either apathetic toward you, nervous around you, or just downright mean/cold. All that being said, I think Jodi's point of view is really enlightening here.

There are conversations where she talks about how she wants her kids to grow up, and then has to remind herself that Sam is already an adult. Jodi thinks of Sam as a kid, like, the same as Vincent. And has to remind herself that Sam is actually an adult. Yeah. Thing is, I don't feel like this is a case of her being an overly attached mother. I think she basically hits the nail on the head.

He also apparently does not help out with any chores around the house. Seriously, what the fuck? I mean, I get it. Some people live with their parents even into their 20's, and even later. It's whatever. But if your mom is still washing your dishes and cleaning your underwear, we've got a problem. You are not marriage material.

My favorite Sam scene is when Lewis makes him promise not to skateboard outside anymore after he pops a sick grind across the flower bed outside of Emily's house. Then you can find him outside on his skateboard later the same week, or even the same day, depending on when you trigger the event. Sam is good friends with Sebastian, seems to respect the opinion of the player character a lot, and isn't a bad friend to have by any means. He's definitely a solid top 25 contender.

If you do feel inclined to marry him, check this out -- his room is actually fairly clean! And he builds an awesome half pipe outside of the farm where he skates from time to time.

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I looked into it and Harvey is a more popular choice than Alex, Sam, and Elliot. Basically the three that I thought he might be! Interesting. The most interesting thing I found however is that Alex is incredibly popular among the gay male community. Like, his rating specifically among gay males is higher than Sebastian's overall rating... despite Sebastian being the #1 choice overall. So if everyone is allowed to vote, Sebastian is the #1 husband choice. But if only gay males are allowed to vote, Alex goes from last place to first place!

Although given what I've heard from some gay or bisexual dudes that I've known, this makes sense. A lot of them mention a common fetish or fantasy of making the stereotypical masculine dude, the quarterback/jock archetype, admit or realize that he's actually gay. I feel like Alex fits that mold pretty well, so him being popular among that demographic adds up pretty well.

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The remaining characters, if anyone wants to try and guess my top 10 or something.

Abigail
Caroline
Demetrius
Desert Merchant
Emily
Gil
Gunther
Gus
Haley
Jodi
Krobus
Leah
Marnie
Maru
Penny
Pierre
Robin
Sam
Sandy
Sebastian
Shane
Submarine Dude
Traveling Merchant
Willy
Wizard

given my existing write ups I think you guys have some clues as to my tastes, and could make some pretty decent guesses. I think there's at least one top 10 character who probably no one would/could guess, though.


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yeah. the witch quest line is a bit too short and easy, the Mr. Qi stuff feels like an appropriate challenge for my endgame character.

- 27 -


Harvey

It's at least plausible that Harvey only ranked this high because he's so boring I actually didn't notice him while I was rearranging my list, and he just happened to avoid being moved down along with the others in his class. Okay, but seriously, there isn't too much going on with Harvey. But I think he has enough that sets him apart from some of the others.

Firstly, he's basically the only really adult marriage candidate in the base game. Remember that Shane and Emily were added later. Aside from that we're told that Leah is among the "older" bachelorette characters. No, seriously. When your standard for the most mature character is Leah I think that speaks for itself. She is basically a 22 year old who just graduated with a degree in Art Appreciation and is just realizing that it's not actually worth anything. Hardly the first thing that pops into mind when I picture a mature character.

Enough about Leah though, this is about Harvey. So he's actually a Doctor -- he's one of the few marriage candidates who isn't just a straight up leech. Although the game doesn't really incorporate elements of this into the gameplay it at least sets a different tone for the marriage. Yeah, sure, you don't share the earnings from the clinic, it's implied to be doing poorly financially anyway, and Harvey will still charge you for medical supplies. But if you're into marrying dudes and you don't want someone like Sebastian who is just going to sit around your house all day and expect you to support him, I guess Harvey is the only real option.

Another interesting thing, related to this, is that Harvey actually continues to work his regular shifts even after you are married. Along with Maru, I think they are the only characters who do this. And Maru works FOR Harvey.

Emily, Shane, and Sam all reduce their working hours after marriage and spend more time on the farm.

It's pretty neat, and suggests that we could actually potentially marry shop owners, but for some reason ConcernedApe prevented us from doing it in almost every case. I'm not saying I want to marry Gus, but rather, a conscious decision was made to have Gus be a fat middle aged man instead of a sexy, young cafe owner.

Putting that aside, I think all of this information actually gives Harvey a pretty unique niche as far as bachelors go, and I'd actually be really interested if there was some kind of data to see which characters are chosen more frequently than spouses. While I doubt he's at the top, I actually wouldn't be surprised if he does better than guys like Alex, Sam, or even Elliot... despite looking like someone's dad in the 80's.

His ranking is relatively low on this list. But only in the sense that I think every remaining character on the list is at least pretty good, and he happens to be near the bottom just because I rarely go through the effort of going into the clinic every day to befriend him. If anyone here really likes Harvey I'd actually be interested to hear your thoughts on him.

- 26 -


Linus

... "speaking of leeches"

Okay, I had to make that joke.

Linus is a fairly unique and interesting character and honestly I might have ranked him PRETTY high if this were still early on in my Stardew Valley career. He gives some good recipes and surprisingly good friend gift options despite living in a tent on the side of the mountain -- and he's insanely easy to befriend. Seriously, at the very least go and get the Wild Bait recipe from him. He's happy with almost anything you pick up off the ground, making him about as easy to befriend as Leah!

My issue with Linus is that while he claims he just wants to be left alone, and he doesn't care what other people think about his lifestyle... the more you get to know him, the more you analyze his character, the more you realize that is not the case. He seems to have this need for the player character, and other characters in stardew valley, to acknowledge his lifestyle as legitimate.

He honestly gives some fairly pissy responses if you say anything to him other than "there's nothing wrong with your way of life!" when he's digging through other people's trash. And it's clear he has no respect or concern for other people's personal property or THEIR values. He just wants everyone to acknowledge HIS values. None of this makes me hate him, and it is a pretty deep and interesting characterization, but it definitely makes me like him less than a lot of the people who scored higher.

He's not this likable, quirky hermit that I pictured him as when I first started playing the game. He's kind of a dick, honestly.

Lastly, I'll just mention something else. There is a bit of an air of mystery about Linus that makes fans speculate and wonder about his backstory. I think that ship has long since sailed. It's pretty clear we are never going to be given an explanation of why Linus is the way he is... which basically is the same as having no backstory. I hate to say it, but there it is. Someone had to.

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now I only see your dull imposter
https://imgur.com/BYYr6fn

"quickly" huh

- 30 -



Witch

A literal non-character who I absolutely could have cut, and maybe I should have. So a little bit of information about me. I love witches. It's probably one of my favorite stock fantasy/monster tropes, and I usually like their inclusion in games no matter how they are handled. Harvest Moon has plenty of great examples of Witches, so I would say my expectations for a decent Witch in Stardew Valley are relatively warranted.

The Witch we got it... eh. Biggest thing is she never really appears in a way where you can talk or interact with her. You can gain access to her magic altars, but unlike the Wizard you don't need to befriend her. You just... bribe her henchman and then go there at times when she's never there. For reasons.

I do find it amusing whenever she flies by and cackles, but these appearances are brief and rare.

Also I'm currently annoyed with her because in my most recent playthrough I decided to bite the bullet and buy a Void Egg from my dude Krobus for 5,000 Gold. Before the current egg in my incubator had time to hatch, the god damn Witch appeared and Cursed my chicken hut like 2 days later -- after my game had already saved of course. Not that I'm really one for resetting anyway, but still worth mentioning. That was 5,000 Gold well wasted.

- 29 -


Dwarf

Of the secondary "hidden" vendors this guy is by far the least useful, and also the most obnoxious to gain access to. This combination of facts can almost solely be credited for his pretty low placement. Aside from that I think he has a pretty interesting design. The lore of the dwarves in Stardew Valley is intriguing, and fun to explore through the discovery of artifacts. I don't think the actual Dwarf you meet really lives up to the legend you should have built up in your head before this. I always pictured the Dwarves in Stardew Valley as like aliens who crash landed on our planet a few thousand years ago. What you meet is like... some guy who lives in a cave.

Absolutely FUCK grinding for all four dwarf scrolls just to be able to talk to this guy. Dwarf Scroll 2 in particular is pretty notorious for being a biblical pain to track down. Normally if I search Google for any of the Dwarf Scrolls (1, 3, or 4, for example) some kind of thread about how 'Dwarf Scroll 2? Does it Exist?' will still show up within the top 10 results. On my current file I have 10 of Dwarf Scrolls 1 and 3, and I spent 2 real life days of grinding to obtain Dwarf Scroll 2. Then I found Scroll 4 in about five minutes once I started looking for it.

Is this guy worth all of that effort? Hell no. He's barely a top 30 NPC in this game, and that's really arguable based on the fact that I could have ranked the likes of Jas and Vince higher.

- 28 -


Mr. Qi

A little bit more of a character than the Witch. I find him more amusing cause he asks you to do funny shit like pull a prank on lewis and fill the mayors fridge up with beets. He also challenges the player in a way that will make you somewhat interested and feel like there are things to do even after you have "beaten" the game.


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now I only see your dull imposter
https://imgur.com/BYYr6fn

- 32 -


Lewis

Another sort of non-character. Despite being the guy who introduces you to Pelican Town, Mayor Lewis does and says surprisingly little. It's almost baffling how a guy at the center of nearly every festival has such little personality compared to some of the other characters. There are some comical aspects about him, like him losing his shorts and all the various ways you can torment him (like putting them on display at the fair).

I also need to use Lewis as my punching bag for the Community Center since he is the one who introduces it to you and kickstarts the entire main "plot" of stardew valley. So the villagers have not used the community center for years, causing it to fall into disrepair. Lewis puts the idea into the players' head that it's worth fixing. If you fix it, Pierre ends up chasing Morris and YoyoMart out of town. This is arguably bad for Pam, Penny, Sam, Vincent, Jodi, Shane, and possibly other characters who don't immediately come to my mind. The kicker? No one ever uses the community center after this except for one cutscene. You did all of that work just so the community center can go back to being ignored by the villagers and likely fall into disrepair again! If I had one complaint about Stardew Valley, this is it.

Once I started thinking about Lewis I actually was starting to feel that I might have ranked him lower just because of his weird relationship with Marnie. It is some serious prequel trilogy logic that he can't be open about them being a couple because he's the mayor. Is the mayor not allowed to date? I really don't get it. If anything it feels like he's using this as an excuse to ghost her.

He has more personality than the likes of Jas and Vince, he actually acknowledges that there are festivals going on, unlike Kent. Not much more to say about him aside from the fact that he likes Parsnips which are easy to grow en masse.

- 31 -


George

Another set dressing character. I happen to find him a little more interesting than the likes of his wife, or the mayor. He has the same attribute as Kent where he's frequently shown to be kinda a dick, but he will apologize when he's called out for it. A good example of a ConcernedApe style 'flawed' character who is redeemable. You can actually understand George's point of view and he does actually have very specific dialogue that adds to the flavor of the different festivals. He is unfortunately pretty boring most of the rest of the year.

One thing I liked about George is when I discovered that he Loved, not just Liked, but Loved, the leek that you can find on the ground. The unfortunate thing is that he only sends you stone once you befriend him. However, farming stone is a little more tedious than farming wood, so it's still fairly helpful to keep your stockpile of stone up if you're the type who builds frequently.

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now I only see your dull imposter
https://imgur.com/BYYr6fn

- 35 -


Vincent

Alright, I'm gonna try to get this batch out of the way pretty quickly. There's a couple of characters, like the child characters, who don't particularly have any great scenes or lines, or many scenes or lines at all, but they still play a very vital role of adding depth to the world. Opposite of someone like Marlon, where you could remove him and Gil could run the adventurer's guild alone, you can't really remove the fact that Jodi is raising two boys.

I rate Vincent on the lower end of this group because it's annoying to find decent gifts for him. He likes some stuff you can pick up off the ground, but not just anything. He has specific tastes. And unlike most villagers, who can be won over by giving them 'anything you grow on the farm' he doesn't really like most of the crops you can grow because ew vegetables gross. He shares this trait with Jas. It gets a bit easier in Fall since Vincent really likes Grapes and those are easy to find.

Don't have anything else to say about Vincent.

- 34 -


Kent

There is a LOT of cool stuff to say about Kent, so let's start with the positive. A character who isn't in the village immediately but joins in the second year is pretty cool. His reason for being away is interesting, and it provides for the dynamic of Jodi being almost essentially a "single mother" when you first meet her. When Kent returns, it 'probably' makes things easier for the family as a whole, and while it's hard to say this FOR SURE there are daily routines where Kent actually spends time with Vincent so it's clear he's at least helping watch the kids sometimes.

I also think he has a pretty good track record of showing shitty behavior in some of his scenes, but also apologizing for it pretty easily -- especially so if the player tells him that he's in the wrong. His behavior isn't really super shitty and his apologies are pretty sincere, a solid combination in the world of stardew valley where a LOT of the characters are intentionally written to be flawed.

Okay, the bad. The guy is boring and doesn't have many lines that don't feel generic. And I mean, really generic. Hey it's a good day for fishing. Hey how are you doing today. The idea of having a new person around for the second year of festivals is REALLY cool, but you talk to him and... holy crap. His festival dialogue might be among some of the worst of any character in the game. He 90% of the time he just makes a really generic statement that doesn't even acknowledge whether he's at the festival or not, or what's going on around him. Cool idea, but it really comes across like ConcernedApe worked on Kent last, ran out of time on him, and just never went back to add more depth to a lot of his stand in lines.

The guy is so boring that there's almost no fan art of him that I could find. People just do not give a shit about Kent.

- 33 -


Jas

Jas is very similar to Vincent. She's a child character, not many lines, not many scenes that focus on her. She has a more interesting family dynamic with Shane and Marnie. Most important is that common trait I mentioned about them where they don't like the crops you grow on your farm. However... Jas likes most of the flowers you can grow, I think all of them, and she also loves the Fairy Rose.

Since I normally am growing flowers for the sake of producing Honey anyway, it's much easier to befriend Jas than Vince.

Credit to SuchiOv on deviant art for the Jasmine and Vincent arts. Normally I just grab random unsourced stuff from google, but since I ended up picking multiple art pieces from the same person I figure I'd look them up and give them a shout out. Especially if anyone saw these and was wondering who drew them.


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now I only see your dull imposter
https://imgur.com/BYYr6fn

yeah I'm making my first actual topic on board 8 in quite a while, and these changes immediately got on my nerves. the numbered listed auto formatting is the worst. especially when I'm not even trying to make a list of any kind and it still does it! like if you put - at the beginning of a sentence

• it does this automatically

you can work around it by going back and adding the symbols after you type out everything else, but this is a very awkward and unnatural way to type.

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now I only see your dull imposter
https://imgur.com/BYYr6fn

oh yeah the number 1 thing that pisses me off about Alex is that he constantly offers to play catch with me, but will never actually play catch with me.

get on this ConcernedApe

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now I only see your dull imposter
https://imgur.com/BYYr6fn