Lurker > Cleo_II

Ive been at 4-5 most nights for the past couple of months. Shit sucks.

darkprince45 posted...

yee, but like I said you technically have 10 days to back out without penalty and keeping your earnest deposit. So its jsut a matter of getting the offer through first in case you liked it

Gotcha. I can see how that makes sense. By west coast, do you mean CA? I know the market has been insane out here. Sometimes we contemplate putting our house up and moving somewhere cheaper like Colorado lol

I know shits fast moving but I could never buy a house without seeing it first. So many houses that look great in pictures and are shit in person.

Hes never going to finish it. He wrote himself in a corner and he has no financial incentive to work on it with how much he made off GoT and now possibly new series.

Returning_CEmen posted...

My bad I thought you were a doctor.

Ha no but I wouldnt mind doctor money

As a Canadian living here almost 10 years, I still dont get any of it. Its bad, but I just let my husband handle those things.

Harpie posted...

Hey if youve always wanted to do it, why not? Theres a lot of really talented boudoir photographers, and I promise you that they are experts in making women of all shapes and sizes feel sexy on and off set. I think if you find the right photographer, youll be pleasantly surprised at how beautiful you look in the photos. Youre your own worst critic, and maybe itd be nice to see how sexy you look from someone elses perspective ^^

Im a photographer so I may or may not be biased in this situation but STILL

Youre right, maybe Ill start getting a couple of quotes going. Ive always been pretty confident but my body looks so different now its been hard for me to adjust mentally. Like logically I know Im making a human and this is normal but its also hard to accept when I look so different in the mirror. And also generally feel like shit physically lol.

ssj3vegeta_ posted...

Please, you're hella beautiful cleo. I agree with harpie doe, if you do decide, go with a professional

aww thanks vegy!

Returning_CEmen posted...

Oh damn you are local. So if I get hurt and go to the hospital there is a sliver of a chance you might treat me.

You must have me confused for someone else. I know jack about anything medical related lol

kingdrake2 posted...

:(. he didn't deserve that for what he did for you.
hopefully he gets better.

He really didnt. He helped so many people and was one the best human beings Ive ever met. Unfortunately he lost his battle to it last May. Fought for about a year and a half which is much longer than most with his diagnosis.

Maybe I need to level a red mage in FF14. I only started playing again a week ago and havent played since Heavensward

Harpie posted...

Aww, hes really sweet. Cleo you are sexy as hell and your husband seems to 100% agree. Have you ever done boudoir before?

He really is, and thank you! All I see is this big belly but he tells me Im still sexy to him and it makes me feel better lol. And I havent! Ive always wanted to but feel awkward about it.

Lol my husband would love if I did that. He wants me to get nude boudoir pregnancy pics done. Im too self conscious to.

gunplagirl posted...

You're human? What an unfortunate condition. :(

Girl tell me about it.

Aeriis posted...

same! People say really nice stuff and it makes me smile! so why not post them?

Right? I think were supposed to protect incel self esteem or something though. Cant go around acting like humans and such.

CalypsoDoom posted...

You made a really snide comment itt so

Lol right.

Dude: *passive aggressive comment*

You: *dishes it back*

Dude: *shocked pikachu face*

fuming posted...

the same reason a man would post pictures of themselves on gamefaqs

This. People still give a shit if women participate too? I havent gotten any creepy pms for posting my pics here either.

The Popo posted...

Red Mage is winning? Wow. I think red mage, and I think character that does everything mediocrely.

This tbh. Im a bit surprised at the popularity.

I picked white mage. Great healing kit, rezzes, holy. Its what I main in FF14 also.

Giant_Aspirin posted...

congrats! clearing away debts feels so good. it kinda feels like getting a raise because you have more expendable income each paycheck.

next goal: pay off the house

Thank you! Yup looking to refinance to 15 year. Rates are so low. My husband tried starting the process last night but his browser crashed lol. Also need to put more into my 401k and start a college fund for our baby. Also want to invest a bit in stock and save the rest.

Ridiculous. That typically points to a massive company culture issue. Especially if no one has come out to apologize or explain the delay.

CHM_Punk posted...

Im real happy for you, Cleo, congrats! (:

Thanks dude!

Sometimes we do something and sometimes we dont. Same with Christmas and stuff. Weve been together 10 years and really can buy what we want when we want. Im happy with a nice card from him, just because hes bad at verbalizing emotions and can be aloof a lot so its nice to have something from his heart from time to time.

Suikoden420 posted...

Congratulations and sorry for your loss

Thank you! Maybe Ill see about going to visit his grave.

Returning_CEmen posted...

Thats awesome.
Did your uncle have any children of his own?
Northern or Southern Cali?

Yes, 2 sons. My cousins. Theyre like my big bros too. Theyre also pretty well off, my uncle was a big help to them growing up. I heard they similarly give a lot to charity on the dl. Great people.

Southern California. Im in OC.

They can be inspirational. Im not talking about celebrities. There are a lot of couples I know who do very well for themselves and have lifestyles that I really want for myself. So I try to learn off them.

MedeaLysistrata posted...

Cleo your topics are always PACKED with info, tldr

Congrats though

I'm reading the whole post, sorry you went through some tough times

Lol I know I even tried to cut it down. Theres just so much to pack in of what happened over the last 4 years.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

He was! We found out after he passed away he was giving away about $75k annually to charity. His wife had no idea. He was such a kind person. He helped a lot of other family members too. And he was my uncle by marriage!

Drpooplol posted...

Good for you two! Just in time for the upcoming baby - that has to feel like a big relief. And I'm sure your uncle would be really proud to see where you are today.

Yes so happy we paid everything off before she gets here! Now we have room to start a college fund for her and pay for daycare/nanny when its time. Wish my uncle was here to meet her too. Its been hard. Seeing the loan get to 0 is making me think of him a lot today.

We live in SoCal where housing is of course expensive. My husband and I lived in a small 1 bedroom apartment and saved for 5 years for a house. We always tried to budget as much as possible.

The market was very competitive. I was very close to my uncle who was like a dad to me and he always called me his daughter. He was well off and had a big line of credit he said he wasnt using and offered us $100k loan to put as more down payment and increase our purchasing power. Plan was to pay it back monthly over 3 years and pay the interest on it (it was like 4%). We bought a beautiful home and I was always so grateful to my uncle.

We had a couple to set backs. Then my uncle got pancreatic cancer. So we refinanced our home to get our own home equity line and paid him back in full. And started paying off that one instead. Spent the last year aggressively paying the rest off. Just now officially paid the last of it, after 4 years instead of 3.

Between saving for the house then paying back the loan, we never had much for extra income. Its always been save save save for the house then save save save to pay back the loan. There are things weve wanted to do, like buy new furniture, paint the house, fix up the bathroom, etc that we waited on. This is just a huge weight off our shoulders. Im getting painters next month!

My uncle sadly passed away last May. I miss him terribly and wish he was here to see this.

Parappa09 posted...

i actually made mac and cheese that came out good!! @Cleo_II

i got a pic but it doesnt do it justice. i should have taken one with the spoon scooping up the stringy cheese inside

Omg that legit looks amazing! I think Ive only tried making mac and cheese once or twice but it never came out looking that good. What recipe did you use?

White Mage
Thief
Monk

Damn sounds like youve been waiting a long time for this. Hope its successful!

Do what you think is best for you. My college years I was very depressed at home and also really hated engineering but had crazy controlling abusive parents who made me continue. Id just take the train to school but never go to class. Shop around the mall or something and try and copy assignments off people. I barely passed by some miracle. I wish I could have taken time for some self care.

Are you seeing a therapist? Does the school have any resources for mental health?

Ugh that ending makes me cry every time. One of my favorite games of all time.

s0nicfan posted...

Shadowbringers is by far the best story FFXIV has put out to date and the MSQ bosses are some of the best in the entire franchise.

Oh Im excited! Im a long ways from getting there. So much story to get through. But its nice to take my time and not worry so much about leveling or getting to end game.

WoW leveling is a slog you want to get through fast and then its boring end game grind.

What happened to your foot?

Hope surgery helps!

WoWs new expansion is just not keeping me engaged. I was already burned out by BfA and stopped playing for the last year or the expac, and thought Id give the new one a try. Had a ton of fun the first few weeks but now its neither fun nor rewarding.

Havent played FF14 since Heavensward (midway through the expac). My white mage feels like a different job with how many changes happened since Ive been gone. But Im really having fun just leveling from 60 and not worrying about rushing to the end game.

Anyone play? Hows the latest expac? I still need to get through all the story to catch up.

Shablagoo posted...

I tend to drink my coffee black. Although really the best coffee of all is Turkish coffee and that has a fair amount of sugar in it.

You can drink Turkish coffee black. Its how my mom always drinks it. Im not a fan though, too strong for me.

My parents are immigrants so its just always been something weve understood and accepted.

Parappa09 posted...

one day i'm going to try this when i master regular mac and cheese

I want to take a stab at it. I dont make much mac and cheese but I figure it will be hard to go wrong with bacon and jalapeos lol

ApherosyLove posted...

Jalapeno poppers baaabbyyy

Jalapeo popper mac and cheese mmmm

https://spicysouthernkitchen.com/jalapeno-popper-mac-and-cheese/

This looks amazing

Sliders with a side of fries or jalapeo mac and cheese or both

Lol I love that my husband makes so much OT. His base is much lower than mine but with OT we made the same in 2020. Every time I see his OT paycheck Im very happy. Dunno what shes tripping about but maybe because youre just dating and your finances are separate.

No, Im generally not into drugs. Just the occasional drink here and there. I like having all my senses. Weed is legal here and I tried it for migraines but wasnt a fan and it also didnt help.

One of my friends at work has been going through a bottle of tequila a week. I find that excessive but I dunno what makes one an alcoholic I guess. Ive wondered if shes just high functioning or something.

We live in a kind of culture where we think towards immediate gratification and not long term. We need to do a better job of educating our youth on finances. My parents were terrible spenders and when I moved out, I found myself being totally clueless about money and being the same way. High rent for my income because I wanted a nice place, spending on clothes and makeup and racking up credit card debt while just paying minimum payments (while not really understanding that I was paying more money to borrow it), etc. It wasnt until I met my husband who pointed those things out to me and helped me understand better that I was able to change those habits. Flat out said we werent getting married until my debt was cleared and worked with me on it. Now I look back like wtf, why was I so dumb about money before.

Didnt you just get out of a long term relationship/engagement before? Maybe it was a bit too soon to jump into something else. You might have been vulnerable and missed some red flags.

Most relationships dont last past a few months too. It sucks. But try not to dwell. Try and take some time to better yourself and be in a better state of mind. Youre only 23 and youre a good looking guy. Take a break from dating and give yourself some more self care.

ChrisTaka posted...

My mom was like this. Would spend thousands of dollars on clothes yet when it came to school funds she was always so hesitant to spend a dime.

Luckily I was born with a dad that worked hard and loved all of his children more than he loved himself.

Thats good that you had at least one responsible parent. My parents are both big spenders. My mom also had a bad gambling problem. I suspect shes up to it again too. Now they are divorced but both live off what little they get from the government and have family members helping them financially.

Balrog0 posted...

My parents for my whole entire life. They're drug addicts. I can remember distinctly when I realized they weren't capable of making good decisions, I think I was about 5 or 6.

Its so hard on children when they have to grow up so quickly because of their parents. My husband also had a drug addict mom as a child and had to be the parent to the siblings. She got clean eventually though, thankfully. Are you still in contact with them?

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

Ugh cigarettes are nasty. My mom had a bad addiction too. As a teen Id just guilt trip her endlessly about how she was going to give me cancer and I hope she doesnt feel too bad when Im getting chemo and losing my hair. It actually made her quit eventually. She still talks about how my descriptions of horrible scenarios kept eating away at her.

BuckVanHammer posted...

my dad unfortunately. he makes the worst financial and life decisions of any person I know. hard headed and sneaky, will not tell you how bad the situation is until he's drowning in it. it's a shame, but there isn't anything you can do but just hope he can get thru it.

Yeah my sister can be sneaky too. She wont share everything or wont tell you when a bad decision she makes later blows up in her face. There was a situation where her husband was doing free work for someone with the promise of a job. Was ongoing for months. I kept telling her it was shady and he was being naive, and she kept getting angry at me. Later found out he never got the job he was promised but only much later and not by her directly.

CyricZ posted...

Cousins.

One in particular may as well have walked off the cast of Rent with the way she thinks her art trumps any life responsibilities.

Ha yeah thats like her husband with his music

a-c-a-b posted...

I am that family member / friend.

I'm actively drinking myself to an early grave and I don't really care.

Zikten posted...

Same. I predict I die before any of my siblings even though I'm not the oldest

Im sorry youre both in such dark places. I hope things turn around for you some day.

_MorningStar posted...

Wait, dude hasn't worked in 2 years? And she is broke but paid off her debt and the. Immediately took a 10k trip?

Yup. Right after she paid off over 20k of cc debt instead of saving anything

InYourWalls1 posted...

Good that she's seeing a therapist, sounds like she has some soul-searching to do

Is her husband otherwise someone supportive and loving?

As far as the topic title, most of my family on my dad's side has been ravaged by alcoholism. I have one cousin who was quite bad, but last I saw he got married and now has a few kids. Not sure if he's turned things around but I hope so; I was thinking of getting in touch and maybe visiting him since I've been out of the country for a while. His younger brother died some years back in his 20s but he was also into other substances.

Her husband is very loving and supportive, just lazy and kind of clueless with life stuff. Almost to a fault because he never pushes back on any of these decisions. Very nice guy but can be a pushover. I think its what she likes because she cant take anyone telling her something is a bad idea or even saying no to anything she asks.

Im so sorry about your cousins. I hope that one has turned things around. Its very possible. My husbands brother had a bad heroin addiction but hes clean now, married, with a family, bought a home and really turned things around. Im sure your cousin would appreciate you reaching out.

Alteres posted...

Its sad to see a family member in that much emotional distress.

Do really think she is that close to self destructing if she has a six figure job or are you just worried?

Shes been incredibly depressed. There are times where I know shes withdrawn and crying so I call and try and cheer her up. Her husband will separately text me thanking me for it and tells me shes having a rough time.

She makes good money but has really bad spending habits and expectations. Shes also sole earner. I think part of it is looking at my parents. My dad was making bank in his 40s-50s but also had horrible spending habits. No one knows where all the money went, and now both my parents are broke, borrowing money from people all the time and have 0 retirement. Both are depressed and miserable. My brother and I have incredible fear of ever turning into them so were very conservative with our money, while I think my sister is more like my dad so it worries us.

R1masher posted...

Yeah, got a nephew with hep c and still doing heroin

Im sorry. I feel like watching loved ones struggle with drug addiction must be one of the worst things out there. Im thankful that no one in my immediate family has to battle those demons (though I suspect my mother has a gambling problem shes hiding but thats another story)

RedJackson posted...

I don't doubt that you've had sister sister talks but err.. you ever tell her exactly this? >_>

Maybe chip at the whole 'not working for something' thing by telling her renovated giant yards artificially inflate the price and she'd make quicker money renovating it herself or tell her to watch Evangelion or something

Lol. Yeah Ive told her that huge yards mean more maintenance expenses and that they can always get something with 80% of what they want and renovate later. Ive pointed to how our home wasnt fully renovated when we bought it and have a tiny yard, but at least its been going up in value and we are slowly working at things. She doesnt really listen and sticks to looking at houses that have everything. She recently made an offer on a home $45k over what shes qualified for (with the intention to borrow the money from his parents) and was sad she didnt get it against other offers. The house had 5 bedrooms, fully renovated, on 10k sqft property. They are two people and a dog lol

For me its my little sister. A few years younger. But impulsive and stubborn. She spends her money on shit she cant afford then later is incredibly depressed at the consequences. While also married to a bum who hasnt worked in almost two years because they think he will make it in the music industry. Only he sleeps every day until noon, gets the occasional gig for a commercial jingle, but wont do anything to gain a social media presence, perform anywhere (even prior to covid), and refuses to work any side jobs. Ive tried telling her he needs to start working because the employment gap will look terrible on his resume. Ive suggested some low skill, entry stuff but she says she wants a husband with a real career.

She wants a big beautiful house with a huge yard, travel to exotic places, a family, etc. Wont accept anything less even if its not in her budget. I can show her a ton of cute homes in her range but theyre not exactly what she wants so she turns them all down. Then cries that she cant find anything and cant afford much (shes looking at massive houses with 4-5 bedrooms, fully renovated with giant yards, 10-20k sqft of land, etc). I hate seeing her so sad but omg she doesnt listen to any shred of reason from anyone. Its to the point that our family can all sense shes incredibly depressed, shes always sad and talks about how much she wants these things, but wont settle her expectations at all. Her husband doesnt pull his weight either and is a doormat who waits for her to make all the decisions.

A few months before covid, they spent about 10k on an exotic trip while he had no job and they had just cleared their credit card debt after years of paying it off (debt from bad spending habits). She kept telling me she needed this trip. I just warned her it was imprudent and that she might want to use that money later for a house. She kept telling me she didnt need material things like houses, and they arent like other people, bla blah. She needed experiences. Now shes crying about not having the big house everyone else she knows has. Then she recently got a new job that got her to six figures and went on a furniture splurge, buying things that dont fit in their current apartment, because its for their future house. Instead of saving more money to actually buy a house first... If anyone points out that she doesnt listen or how she keeps making bad decisions, she just gets angry at them or gets more depressed. So we all just stopped saying anything. These days her depression is worse than ever. Shes seeing a therapist thankfully. But I hate seeing her so sad and also be completely helpless.

Im in the minority that liked V more than VI. Never really got the hype for VI tbh but I played it years after it was released and after playing V so I never got the nostalgia for it.