Lurker > MrMallard

yoooo, nice. Yeah, Good Omens was all over Tumblr when it aired. I hear the source material is good, in that Neil Gaiman-y way. Dunno if it's my bag, but I can appreciate what I know about it.

I saved the smut book from a Salvation Army book bin when I was on a work placement. The thing would get to the point of overflowing because next to no-one bought books, so I'd have to load up a trolley and throw a bunch of them in the trash every couple of months. That was the worst part of the job tbh, aside from working at a Salvos - I've heard some bad stuff about them.

Legit, the book is uncredited (later editions were credited, this one just has "Anonymous" listed as the author), and of the three pages I flipped to, the main character was getting railed on each and every one. Three random pages, three descriptive and vulgar passages about getting fucked. I either got the best odds in the world and stumbled onto the only parts of the book that got naughty out of sheer chance, or this thing is a smut factory. Either way, there was no way I was going to destroy it.

Comics are neato, but I don't think I have the patience for them. I like reading about the different comic events on TV Tropes, and I started watching this Youtube channel called Comic Tropes which has been fun.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

I got absolutely shitfaced on wine yesterday, and I left my phone in someone's car. Woke up and had to go to work today, and I didn't have my phone to listen to or read, so I grabbed a book off the shelf at work and started reading. It was a slow day, so I actually got a lot of reading in - over the course of the day, I read like 57 pages of a 90 page story.

I've been thinking about reading more for the last couple of months. I want to improve my own writing, but all I ever read in my spare time is GameFAQs, Discord and fanfiction. By reading more books, I'm hoping I'll get a better idea on how to write prose. I think I'm pretty decent, but I could really stand to improve - and if I get good enough and end up enjoying the process all the more, I might be able to write some original stuff and maybe get paid for it. It's all a self indulgent pipe dream, of course, but even if nothing ever comes of this, at least I'll be reading more - there's nothing to lose.

The story I read was in a Reader's Digest collection. It's a Nicholas Sparks story called A Walk To Remember, and it's not super great. I've enjoyed it more as it's gone along, but the main character is kind of an ass and the plot's kinda generic. But it's interesting to see how a story like that can draw you in - initially I was like "for fuck's sake, Landon, stop going off on these stupid fucking tangents" because he'll be trying to set the scene, then he'll fall into some tangent, then he'll excuse himself and keep going, only to fall right into a whole new, unrelated tangent. That was annoying. But as much as that bugged me to begin with, a lot of it came up later in unexpected ways. The set-up was kinda garbage, but the payoff was pretty decent.

And to its credit, it's a much more enjoyable, coherent read than this fantasy novel I picked up called Blood Trillium. I read the first chapter of that and it read like raw asshole. Might be because it's the second of a trilogy, but the book throws out these stupid nonsense fantasy words as soon as it starts and the whole second half of the first chapter is a story told by an elf in first-person. Including digressions and everything, kind of like A Walk To Remember.

If today's reading has taught me anything, it's that I'm closer to the dialogue standards of your average novel than I was expecting. I need to cut down on the "'dialogue happens here' he said as he brushed a strand of hair out of his face" stuff, because most of my written conversations have characters just doing actions like that over and over again with every new sentence - it'd be like watching two people talk who keep gesticulating wildly at each other. But I'm doing okay in the dialogue department.

My next read should be something in third-person. I've got some doorstopper romance book on my shelf, as well as this book called The Bride Laid Bare that I think might just be 500 pages of smut. The latter one is in first person though, so I might have to go with the former.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

not a big fan of government seizures like this, but by fuck did these two pricks have it coming. get fucked, assholes.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

Bad topic TC. Scaremongering is a shitty gimmick.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

damn, do we have a man on the inside?

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

Ratchet and Clank is a good suggestion

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

SSJKirby posted...

do they believe in sanitizers?

I don't see why not, but they're gonna get a gust of germ-laden from every residence they solicit. Hand sanitizer can't protect against that.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

Dark Cloud, Jak and Daxter, Burnout Revenge

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

Every door knocked could potentially spell doom for them

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

Gakk86 posted...

Be sure to fold, not wad, though. Those corners can be sharp.

The paper is thin, but the sides are deceptively sharp. For the sake of cleanliness, and for the sake of lessening the potential sting of paper-cutting your bunghole, you'll probably want to wad 2 or 3 pages together when you wipe.

The Bible is a pretty thick book, it should take you about a week to get through Proverbs at least.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

What a shitstain. I hope a mob of people tear his scalper ass to shreds and redistribute his shit.

"urr hurr hurr its the free market" while that might be true, selling hand sanitizer for up to $70, profiting off of mass hysteria, is a scummy move and anyone who does it is a piece of shit. Dude can get fucked, and I hope this shit gets to the people who need it most instead of this fuckwit's disgusting, greedy hands. Fuck him.

Good on eBay and Amazon for shutting this down. Scum like this shouldn't be allowed to proliferate.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

He'll be remembered in a fonder light than that shitstain Trump, that's for sure.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

I don't fake my brother's death, that's for sure.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

Like holy shit, I'm listening to the music independent from the game and it sounds so good.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

Bringing this back

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

https://youtu.be/MM6nqRgSOaw

- Fake News, said verbatim
- Journalists are lying about mistreatment in these camps, and reports of people asking to leave - including video of people saying they want to leave - are wildly out of context reports being pushed by the biased Fake News media
- Concern for China's handling of these prisoners is steeped in foreign interference to make China look bad
- The Uyghurs are violent and radicalised, and they're being housed at these facilities to give them a more lenient sentence than throwing them in jail - strong "rapists and murderers" vibes

China is taking cues from Donald Trump. All this doublespeak and barely coded language is now being picked up by a nation that harvests the organs of its political prisoners, and would rather crush a country like Hong Kong or Taiwan by force instead of letting these nations have their independence.

The Chinese government has been shit ever since Mao Zedong raped the country, destroying hundreds of years of Chinese culture and keeping the poorest residents of China in poverty while he reaped the benefits of their work, and with Xi Jinpeng we've seen the culmination of China's authoritarianism - a lack of public freedom, attempts to punish thoughtcrime, brainwashing of the masses, idolization of a single leader - combined with attempts to one-up the world's economy through the mass accrual of wealth at the expense of an underpaid workforce, and the monopolization of as many different industries as possible to hold power over the economy.

But it turns out that no - all of that is just Fake News. They're just cracking down on radicalised minorities who espouse a culture of violence that is incompatible with modern Chinese values. Journalists are painting just actions in an unjust light, no-one is being mistreated in our training camps (ne re-education camps). The United States is just brainwashing everyone to believe in Sinophobic talking points. China is actually the good guy, and the painting of their actions as unethical at best or genocidal at worst is an attempt to defame the nation by bad-faith foreign actors.

There's also a point where he says that journalists are free to come and see for themselves, to which an ABC reporter counters that he'd been reporting on things in China and that he and his crew had been violently rebuffed several times, to the point of assault.

The Chinese government is fucking awful, and they've been awful since well before the 2016 elections. But this latest stage of their propaganda is taking direct cues from Donald Trump's presidency and his method of handling the border issue. That moron's wild mouth-breather rhetoric has given rise to a series of buzzwords and concepts that China is now using to obfuscate its own human rights violations.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

Remember to vote Bernie

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

Currently playing through Doom 1 on Hurt Me Plenty, will probably play through Doom 2 on the same difficulty. Doom 3 will depend on how I feel. Then for 2016 I think I'll test the waters on the second difficulty level and the third to get a feel for the game's balance, and from there I might go into Eternal on that same difficulty level.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

Episode 1 is decent enough, the levels are pretty maze-like but it's pretty compact for the most part. The areas where you can get outside and run around are all great fun.

Episode 2's levels are all very labyrinthine, and the levels are usually pretty huge. I appreciate the hell aesthetics creeping in, and I especially like the box maze level, but that guy who made a Doom thread a few weeks ago was right - it's pretty easy to get sick of the sprawling mazes that this chapter offers.

I'm 3 levels into Episode 3, and holy fuck. The map design of level 2 is a giant hand. Guns and ammo are sparse as fuck. I'm assuming that Inferno is going to have a ton of really wacky level design, like a giant pentagram or an Imp face or something.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

CyricZ posted...

Often times mods will have to go to the original topic to make a judgment on the full context of the moderation.

Therefore there's no point to this idea.

Stop breaking the rules, Caution.

Oh, Melty's Caution?

It explains why the gimmick went to shit so fast. No one on that stupid fucking subreddit can keep up gimmick accounts, their contempt for other users shows up after like a week and the whole thing falls apart.

Can't wait for this to turn into another "free speech" battle against the mods. What a waste of a perfectly fine gimmick account

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

You're sitting down, down when you're taking a dump

Or maybe you're standing up peein'


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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

No, but I'm betting my account on whether I get coronavirus or not so I'll close my account if I get it.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

I mean, my dickhead boomer uncle is the one family member who's sharing all these stupid coronavirus memes around. Some bar is decorating the front bar with rolls of toilet paper topped with bottles of Corona. He's posting stuff like "damn I hope I don't get Tooheysvirus!", with Tooheys being another brand of beer.

There are absolutely boomer shitheads who are sharing this shit around. He's a late Gen X dickhead with a boomer complex. Older shitheads are absolutely being suckered into this.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

Saw this in the news, jeez.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

Ah, okay. A small mucus membrane does seem like it'd make nosebleeds more likely :P

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

teepan95 posted...

It was 8am and I was late for a lecture, so I hadn't had any breakfast. Outside of the lecture hall, a company had set up shop and were offering cans of their energy drink for free. I took one, got into the lecture and downed it

That day, I had the second worst nosebleed I've ever had. I was at home, though, so it was okay.

The next day, I had the worst nosebleed I've ever had. At the train station. Ended up having to go to a&e, who gave me this sugar syrup I had to pump up my nose three times a day for the whole summer

The energy drink and the nosebleed may not have had anything to do with one another, but it scared me off of them. I'll take a sip from a friend sometimes, but not more

Yikes, that's hardcore. I used to be really probe to nosebleeds myself, nothing worse than getting blood double-barreling out of your nose out of nowhere. Then you have the tissues and you're holding the blood back, even after letting it drain into a sink for a little while, and it clots, so you have to deal with these slug-like blood boogers that are all up in your nose now... nosebleeds fucking suck.

There's a solid chance that the energy drink did contribute to your nosebleeds if they're caused by dryness or dehydration. Get a little too much caffeine in your system acting as a diuretic, and those veins in your nose are ready to pop. Given how concentrated caffeine usually is in energy drinks, there's a case for that motherfucker destroying your blood vessels or the like through dehydration.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

I feel like a significant reason might be because everyone who was running has withdrawn and thrown their weight behind Biden - except for Warren, who shares a fair amount of ideas with Bernie, but who's chosen to remain undecided.

The clods who backed Bloomberg and the voterbases of Buttegieg and Klobuchar at least, are more likely to vote for Biden due to their candidates supporting him. You then have people who see Sanders as a sinking ship and jump off.

Though there's also a case for voter suppression, given that Fargo and Grand Forks only had one voting location open for each city with lines going for ages, and places like Kansas City where the Mayor himself was turned away from a polling place. Overall, it's the same flaming garbage heap that 2016 was, only with another dickhead billionaire buying his way into the election to fuck America in the ass.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

teepan95 posted...

I had such a bad experience my first time I tried an energy drink that I've never had any since

That's definitely understandable. I grew up reading these supermarket rags with user-submitted stories in them, and on more than one occasion I read a story about energy drink addiction either fucked up someone's heart or gave them a heart attack. Even if the reaction wasn't that bad, a bad dose of caffeine can leave me trembling, sweaty and much more withdrawn than before - it's a really bad time, and I don't begrudge anyone for staying away from energy drinks or caffeine as a whole.

I'm not the healthiest dude to begin with, and while I don't take care of my heart as well as I should, I always take it slow on the energy drinks and I only get them occasionally. Some motocross guy used to pound like four of them a day, and he came off his bike after getting hit by a massive heart attack - I never want to be going about my day, suddenly go light-headed, then feel my heart stop working.

How did your bad experience go?

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

SSJGrimReaper posted...

which energy drink actually works and isn't 90% sugar and caffeine

Today's energy drink was a "Pipeline Punch" Juice Monster. It was a bit sugary, not gonna lie, but the mouthfeel was good and it didn't leave much of a sticky sensation in my mouth. My usual go-to is a sugar free Mother.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

When I get it wrong, I get really jittery and I have to shit. Then the energy drink leaves my body and I crash.

When I get it right, I'm full of vim and vigor for the next 8 hours. I'm more snappy and responsive to everything, I'm more friendly and sociable, and the worst reaction I get is a heavy dehydrated piss. After that, everything is awesome.

It's fucked up how gross you can feel after drinking too much caffeine. I find that for optimal results, I can dose a 500ml can over the course of an hour if sedentary, or half an hour/45 mins if active, to become a more alert, friendly and in-the-moment person.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

mybbqrules posted...

LTG Is literally a 35 year old manchild who spikes his controller when he loses at video games. He doesn't "destroy" anything.

except his controllers, when he throws them too hard.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

Japan has a fondness for late 60's - 70's pop. The Carpenters were pretty big in Japan, and there's a litany of songs that have been covered and performed in Japanese from this era of music.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

Elmer's Glue Presents: From Champion Racer To Sticking Paper - The Glue Story

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

Everyone who's too poor to escape an outbreak of coronavirus is going to go through hell, the country is going to grind to a halt, and Trumpie is going to let it all happen so long as those mean wiberal weporters don't give him the nasty-wasty buggy-wuggy.

The only people still voting for this moron must want this ivory tower son of a bitch to keep fucking up the country. You would really need to have a sick fascination about how secure Trump can make himself while fucking everyone else in the ass to support this clod.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

SaltyWet posted...

Are you implying the CCP unleashed the virus to get global media attention off the protests?

...does it seem like that's the case? TC is right, it's been ages since the Hong Kong protests were at the forefront of the news. I was super passionate at the time, and my heart still goes out to the people fighting for independence - I just haven't thought much about it because it isn't covered as much any more.

Like damn dude, you're the one who instantly jumped to this conclusion.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

For me, it's getting Axis Mundi on Catherine.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

I'm not a psychic - if it comes and goes with no fanfare, then I'll live the rest of my life completely unaware that I once had coronavirus and I'll still have my account.

The second I jury rig a system to test the pathogens in my blood system or whatever the fuck to determine if I've got the coronavirus, I'll @ you. Right after I file a patent and give it to a non-profit organisation that doesn't fuck the people it's meant to be helping in the butt.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
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Worst case scenario: Hoth uses his doxxing powers to find out where I live, tracks me down and throws a jar of a coronavirus patient's spit in my face lmao

This bet is a stupid shitpost. I'll be fine.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

Solid Sonic posted...

I'm not voting in a primary.

Cool, you've weakened your preferred candidate's chances of winning delegates. Even if they seem like a shoe-in, this attitude will only ever weaken your side's base.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

malenz posted...

Why would you do this.

Resaix posted...

Why would you do this? Why is this worth betting on?

I'm betting on this because I think there's a negligible chance of me getting coronavirus. Sure, my town had the whole "stockpiling toilet paper" thing happen, and some lady had her kid tested for coronavirus a few weeks ago, but a lot of the fervor that's been going around is panicked alarmism. I would imagine the kid didn't have the disease, considering it's been two weeks and there hasn't been a confirmed case in my buttfuck nowhere town.

But let's say that someone in my town does get coronavirus. The existence of this thread provides an incentive not to get sick, and it also turns disease prevention into a game. If I win, which is almost certain, I keep my account and I don't get sick. If I lose, I'm gonna lose access to one of my regular haunts on top of contracting a disease that leaves me isolated from the outside world. I think it's funny that on top of getting coronavirus, I would also have to close my account - basically adding insult to injury.

malenz posted...

I'd rather you didn't do this, so we can know if you survive it and to hear your story.

If I do get coronavirus - which I fucking won't, I can assure you - I'll at least make a farewell post. And some of you folks probably share a discord room with me, so it's not like I would be gone forever for those few people. Worst case scenario, I make a discord server called Coronachat where people can keep updated on my condition.


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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
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solosnake posted...

What about your other accounts?

MrMallard is my only account. Once this account goes, I'm off here forever.

I do have an older account that I used for GameFAQs stuff and not for the boards, but it's an old username that I don't feel like using.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
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Turbam posted...

Where's the form?

There's a form?

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
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This is the only account bet I've ever made. If I get sick with coronavirus, I will close my account.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

Honestly, outside of Orphan 55, I liked every episode this season. Even the second worst episode, Praxeus, managed to stop itself from rattling apart. You can tell that the pacing is on the verge of giving out the entire time - but even with a corny ending, it manages to stay intact for long enough to cross the finish line.

Wasn't too flash on the Cybermen, I think their arc was pretty rushed, but I loved the Master. The Nikola Tesla episode was up there with Demons of the Punjab as one of my favorite Thirteenth Doctor episodes, the acting was so good on Tesla's part and I really liked Yaz in that episode. It felt like the first step in her characterisation this season, after getting one excellent episode focused on her last season and shafted the rest of the time.

Graham is a pretty solid companion, and he's had some nice moments. But I feel like his and Ryan's arc has reached its logical conclusion. I hope Yaz stays on next season while Ryan and Graham get off the TARDIS, because her character is much more open ended at this point.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

One more bump as I'm walking home

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

Can I get a link to the actual tweet?

Edit: yeah she deleted the tweet and apologized, damn she really thought this would be a good idea lmao

I understand what she was going for, but it took other sex positive folks on Twitter to tell her "you sound like you're luring women into human trafficking". Like damn

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
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Okay, so WB are bringing back a bunch of their wackiest and most terrifying properties to put in Space Jam 2. It sounds like they're doing a Lego Batman Movie sort of thing, which saw Voldemort, the Daleks and the Eye of Sauron as antagonistic forces summoned by the Joker - make the opposite team unexpected and exciting IPs, and you'll get nerd culture points.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
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Wetterdew posted...

They are using that other site in the mean time

What site, stormfront?

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
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I'm on lunch, so I thought I'd bring this back

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
Now Playing: Skyrim, Final Fantasy X-2

Not looking for "none of them lol". This season was a lot better than series 11, and outside of one shocking stinker of an episode I think even the bad episodes were pretty watchable episodes of Doctor Who.

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So you don't get to be a saint, martyrs never last this long
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