Poll of the Day > r/nottheonion post of the day

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Lokarin
04/08/22 11:00:32 AM
#101:


There's more than one way to clean up a school

https://www.wcvb.com/article/milk-containers-filled-with-sanitizer-end-up-in-cafeterias-at-boston-public-schools/39660955

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Lokarin
04/13/22 9:38:56 PM
#102:


Time have changed...

https://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/subscribe-to-issue/?issue=1967-07-29

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EchoBaz
04/13/22 10:45:20 PM
#103:


Lokarin posted...
Innocence not enough to remove prisoner from death row

https://theintercept.com/2021/12/30/barry-jones-arizona-supreme-court/?fbclid=IwAR1kMC3lFBZaZwe954Bhxkl-jqaPG5UZp0vZZTj80eBKvV-9otipL89ucVY

Yeah, they're guilty of being a race that the supreme court wants to kill, that's good enough for them sadly.

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Lokarin
04/14/22 7:07:20 PM
#104:


Can't post the source cuz of a censor bypass... but

Tennesee bruh

A Tennessee state senator on Wednesday used Adolf Hitler as an example of inspiration and hope for the homeless during a speech on the floor of the states upper chamber.
Tennessee state Sen. Frank Niceley (R) made his remarks on the Senate floor during a debate on a bill to make camping or soliciting along state highways or exit ramps a misdemeanor.
Niceley said that he was going to give his fellow lawmakers a history lesson, adding that in 1910, Hitler took to the streets and practiced his oratory and his people skills.
Hitler decided to live on the streets for a while. So for two years, Hitler lived on the streets and practiced oratory and his body language and how to connect with the masses, and then went on to lead a life that got him into history books, he said.
So a lot of these people, its not a dead end. They can come out of this, these homeless camps and have a productive life, or in Hitlers case, a very unproductive life, he continued. I support this bill.
The Hill has reached out to Niceleys office for additional comment on his speech. The Hill also reached out to state Sen. Ferrell Haile (R), the Speaker pro tempore of the state Senate.
Following Niceleys remarks, some state lawmakers took to social media to condemn his comments.

TN Senator says Hitler made something of himself after being homeless & you can too. Im going to have to apologize to the universe for this guy, tweeted state Rep. Gloria Johnson (D), along with the video of Niceleys speech.
Hey @MeidasTouch not a single day passes without TN GOP embarrassing the hell out of our state.

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Lokarin
04/15/22 4:20:26 PM
#105:


Dolphin dies after crowd attempts to ride it

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/animal-news/dolphin-stranded-texas-beach-dies-crowd-tries-ride-animal-rescuers-say-rcna24467

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Accrovideogames
04/15/22 6:05:18 PM
#106:


Harassing stranded sea animals causes stress and can also be dangerous for the people who interact with them, but it is also illegal, rescue officials said in the post.
"If a live dolphin or whale strands in Texas, please DO NOT PUSH the animal back to sea, do not attempt to swim or interact with them, do not crowd them," the Texas Marine Mammal Stranding Network said.
That's good to know, but I wish they would tell us what we should do to help the animal. If I saw a stranded whale on the beach, I'd know it wasn't feeling well. My first instinct would be to pour some water on it to avoid its skin from drying up. I would also contact the city to report the incident so that they can send a veterinarian to help nurse the whale back to health. According to them, that would amount to interaction, which is apparently forbidden.

Obviously, what the people did to that whale is cruel and they deserve to be punished, but what about me? My instinct tells me to try my best to give comfort to that poor whale. I'm referring to things like giving gentle caresses, pouring some water, speaking calmly, etc. I'm sure the whale is smart enough to understand and appreciate what I'm doing. Maybe it's too late and it will die regardless, but who wouldn't want someone to give them comfort during that time?

I've personally accompanied a nonhuman animal to its inevitable death. It was my cat and we were at home. He had received a shot early in the morning to stop hurting. After that he was just weak and slept on my chest as I was laying on my back binge watching the first season of 24. At 10PM, he started gasping for air and I held him and reassured him with words. His heartbeat gradually slowed down until it completely stopped 30 minutes later. His whole body was shutting down and I don't think he was fully aware during the last minutes. The cause of death was pancreatic cancer.

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Sarcasthma
04/15/22 6:11:09 PM
#107:


Accrovideogames posted...
I would also contact the city to report the incident so that they can send a veterinarian to help nurse the whale back to health.
I would assume that's the only thing you should do in a scenario like that (unless they give you any instructions).

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Lokarin
04/16/22 7:53:33 PM
#108:


Racism!

https://blavity.com/white-reporter-has-meltdown-because-he-hates-to-see-black-people-in-country-music-its-not-wakanda?category1=news&item=2

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Lokarin
04/16/22 9:32:35 PM
#109:


Dang, what's wrong with Tennessee today?

https://newschannel9.com/news/local/soddy-daisy-woman-at-center-of-deputy-baptism-lawsuit-found-dead-in-home-wednesday

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Accrovideogames
04/17/22 6:22:53 PM
#110:


Lokarin posted...
Dang, what's wrong with Tennessee today?
What do you mean, today? Isn't it always wrong in Tennessee?

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Lokarin
04/21/22 1:30:07 PM
#111:


China tells Sweden to respect Islam

https://www.middleeastmonitor.com/20220420-respect-religious-beliefs-of-muslims-china-tells-sweden/

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Lokarin
04/23/22 9:30:49 AM
#112:


Senators have Sex Assault Insurance....

https://insurancenewsnet.com/oarticle/insurance-policy-covered-sexual-assault-lawsuit-settlement-roberts-campaign-says-st-louis-post-dispatch

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Revelation34
04/23/22 10:42:00 AM
#113:


Lokarin posted...
Senators have Sex Assault Insurance....

https://insurancenewsnet.com/oarticle/insurance-policy-covered-sexual-assault-lawsuit-settlement-roberts-campaign-says-st-louis-post-dispatch


"Against the wishes of Mr. Roberts, an insurance company reached a settlement agreement,"

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Revelation34
04/23/22 11:07:55 AM
#114:


https://www.miamiherald.com/news/nation-world/national/article260597682.html

Guess what these cops did to an 8 year old.

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Lokarin
04/25/22 4:15:05 PM
#115:


With duckbear gone... now I am the master!

also, white power

https://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/politics/2022/04/24/white-families-michigan-senate-candidate/7410621001/?gnt-cfr=1

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Revelation34
04/26/22 5:44:51 AM
#116:


Lokarin posted...
With duckbear gone... now I am the master!

also, white power

https://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/politics/2022/04/24/white-families-michigan-senate-candidate/7410621001/?gnt-cfr=1


I can only read the first two paragraphs.

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Lokarin
04/26/22 4:06:36 PM
#117:


Revelation34 posted...
I can only read the first two paragraphs.

Ya, and now I can only read the first paragraph... dangass paywall lag

...

Florida mom threatens to blow up school cuz son didn't get enough food

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/florida-mom-threatens-blow-school-son-wasnt-fed-enough-cafeteria-rcna25826

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Lokarin
04/26/22 4:08:44 PM
#118:


Representative caught bringing loaded gun through airport security

https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/rep-madison-cawthorn-caught-bringing-loaded-gun-airport/story?id=84322678

For a second time

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Revelation34
04/26/22 5:38:33 PM
#119:


Lokarin posted...


Ya, and now I can only read the first paragraph... dangass paywall lag

...

Florida mom threatens to blow up school cuz son didn't get enough food

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/florida-mom-threatens-blow-school-son-wasnt-fed-enough-cafeteria-rcna25826


Sounds like they set her up.

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Accrovideogames
04/30/22 1:26:58 PM
#120:


Revelation34 posted...
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/nation-world/national/article260597682.html
Fuck that kid and the people blaming the cops. The cops did him a favor. I hope the kid learned his lesson. If he doesn't, I hope the cops aren't so lenient on him next time.

If he stole some chips, Ill pay for them, Jackson responded and offered to walk the child home.
Yeah, as if the cops would give custody of a kid to a complete stranger! For all we know, Jackson could be a predator. Plus, you don't teach kids not to steal by paying for the stuff they steal. What an asshole. The "it's just a kid" mentality is the reason why so many people grow up to be entitled brats and criminals. You have to teach kids about responsibility and accountability.

Lokarin posted...
Florida mom threatens to blow up school cuz son didn't get enough food
Anything that starts with "Florida" is bound to be crazy. And Florida fails to disappoint, because they arrested the wrong person!

Revelation34 posted...
Sounds like they set her up.
Indeed. Either they got the wrong person, or it's a conspiracy from the school to frame an innocent woman.

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EchoBaz
04/30/22 2:37:04 PM
#121:


Revelation34 posted...
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/nation-world/national/article260597682.html

Guess what these cops did to an 8 year old.

I was watching this streamer named Denims yesterday, they talked about how it's especially sick how cops constantly assault kids, and it's completely legal. That's so damn sick.

I also found out that until a month ago, there was no federal law saying that cops couldn't sexually assault people they take into custody. So for the longest time cops were constantly saying that it was consensual. God it's fucked up!

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Lokarin
04/30/22 2:57:29 PM
#122:


EchoBaz posted...
I was watching this streamer named Denims yesterday, they talked about how it's especially sick how cops constantly assault kids, and it's completely legal. That's so damn sick.

I also found out that until a month ago, there was no federal law saying that cops couldn't sexually assault people they take into custody. So for the longest time cops were constantly saying that it was consensual. God it's fucked up!

It is consensual... the government gave them permission :/

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Revelation34
04/30/22 3:26:18 PM
#123:


Accrovideogames posted...

Fuck that kid and the people blaming the cops. The cops did him a favor. I hope the kid learned his lesson. If he doesn't, I hope the cops aren't so lenient on him next time.

Yeah, as if the cops would give custody of a kid to a complete stranger! For all we know, Jackson could be a predator. Plus, you don't teach kids not to steal by paying for the stuff they steal. What an asshole. The "it's just a kid" mentality is the reason why so many people grow up to be entitled brats and criminals. You have to teach kids about responsibility and accountability.

Anything that starts with "Florida" is bound to be crazy. And Florida fails to disappoint, because they arrested the wrong person!

Indeed. Either they got the wrong person, or it's a conspiracy from the school to frame an innocent woman.


No the cops were definitely in the wrong.

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streamofthesky
04/30/22 5:39:19 PM
#124:


https://www.yahoo.com/video/did-not-state-person-white-124600889.html

TL;DR: Woke college "diversity, equity, and inclusion" employees tried to get a black man canceled because they thought he was a white dude in black face. Yes, really.

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Accrovideogames
05/01/22 2:29:59 AM
#125:


Revelation34 posted...
No the cops were definitely in the wrong.
Please tell me why exactly were they in the wrong.

streamofthesky posted...
https://www.yahoo.com/video/did-not-state-person-white-124600889.html
Oh, this one is really good. It's the kind of ridiculous satire The Onion would do, except it's actually real!

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Revelation34
05/01/22 5:40:54 AM
#126:


Accrovideogames posted...

Please tell me why exactly were they in the wrong.

Oh, this one is really good. It's the kind of ridiculous satire The Onion would do, except it's actually real!


Everything.

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Lokarin
05/07/22 5:48:54 AM
#127:


Nestle being Nestle

https://www.investing.com/news/stock-market-news/over-500-kg-of-cocaine-found-in-coffee-delivery-for-nespresso-2818549

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Revelation34
05/07/22 5:49:45 AM
#128:


Lokarin posted...
Nestle being Nestle

https://www.investing.com/news/stock-market-news/over-500-kg-of-cocaine-found-in-coffee-delivery-for-nespresso-2818549


That has nothing to do with Nestle.

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Lokarin
05/07/22 11:50:18 AM
#129:


Eve online fans rejoice! The game now supports Microsoft Excel

https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2022/05/eve-onlines-ms-excel-partnership-makes-spreadsheets-in-space-official/

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Metalsonic66
05/07/22 11:56:20 AM
#130:


But why

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Lokarin
05/07/22 12:01:04 PM
#131:


Metalsonic66 posted...
But why

It means you can export in-game financial data directly without having to manually write everything

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Lokarin
05/09/22 5:23:44 PM
#132:


Mortgages are too high

https://7news.com.au/lifestyle/couple-live-aboard-cruise-ships-after-calculating-it-makes-more-financial-sense-than-a-mortgage-c-6678207

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Sahuagin
05/10/22 1:25:01 AM
#133:


Lokarin posted...
Eve online fans rejoice! The game now supports Microsoft Excel

https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2022/05/eve-onlines-ms-excel-partnership-makes-spreadsheets-in-space-official/
I wrote a reply to this but must not have hit post

it's interesting, because exporting data to Excel is not hard and can easily be done a few different ways, without needing direct help from Microsoft. I'm not sure what JavaScript has to do with Excel either. it almost sounded like you would be able to pull data straight into Excel via a plugin or something, but that still doesn't seem right since why would that use JavaScript and why would you need Microsoft's help (you can already write plugins, and those plugins should be able to talk to EVE's servers if you wanted them to).

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Sufferedphoneix
05/10/22 6:52:29 AM
#134:


Lokarin posted...
All you need to be a cop is a gun?

https://abcnews.go.com/US/tennessee-bill-designate-gun-owners-law-enforcement/story?id=82757071

Wonder if that was the place where a sheriff said if they banned guns he would deputies everyone so they could carry a gun

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Lokarin
05/10/22 9:38:29 AM
#135:


American court staunchly anti-Israel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LrieGDMac8

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Lokarin
05/12/22 6:24:24 PM
#136:


Calling someone bald is sexual harassment

https://www.outkick.com/calling-men-bald-is-sexual-harassment-employment-tribunal-rules/

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streamofthesky
05/12/22 9:06:00 PM
#137:


Lokarin posted...
Calling someone bald is sexual harassment

https://www.outkick.com/calling-men-bald-is-sexual-harassment-employment-tribunal-rules/
Well, after the Will Smith incident, people tried claiming that going bald was a disability. So this is just the logical conclusion from that line of thinking.
That said...

In 2019, a supervisor referred to Finn as a bald c*** during a heated exchange before firing Finn. Mr. Finn had less of an issue with the firing than he did with the label. And when he took the matter to an employment panel of three men, he won the case.

I'm guessing it's more b/c of the word after bald that got the supervisor in trouble.
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Revelation34
05/13/22 6:05:13 AM
#138:


streamofthesky posted...

Well, after the Will Smith incident, people tried claiming that going bald was a disability. So this is just the logical conclusion from that line of thinking.
That said...

I'm guessing it's more b/c of the word after bald that got the supervisor in trouble.


"the judge found that because hair loss is much more prevalent among men than women, calling someone bald is a form of discrimination.

The UK is trash.

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EchoBaz
05/13/22 5:04:00 PM
#139:


Lokarin posted...
Calling someone bald is sexual harassment

https://www.outkick.com/calling-men-bald-is-sexual-harassment-employment-tribunal-rules/

Oh hey, I saw this on twitter. I even said that this was some notheonion bullshit!

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Lokarin
05/18/22 10:35:13 PM
#140:


'Murica!

https://www.ajc.com/news/crime/police-shooting-at-mcdonalds-not-related-to-taco-bell-shooting-yards-away/WE6NTOMLCJCM7GKGNFUPPGWCUY/

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Revelation34
05/19/22 2:10:58 AM
#141:


Lokarin posted...
'Murica!

https://www.ajc.com/news/crime/police-shooting-at-mcdonalds-not-related-to-taco-bell-shooting-yards-away/WE6NTOMLCJCM7GKGNFUPPGWCUY/


Close the entire Taco Bell down and fire all members of management. How the fuck do you fuck up so badly to allow a rifle used by an employee?

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Lokarin
05/20/22 11:08:15 AM
#142:


Demand you read this

https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/deputy-18-years-detainees-drown-locked-van-84843412

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streamofthesky
05/20/22 12:52:27 PM
#143:


Lokarin posted...
Demand you read this

https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/deputy-18-years-detainees-drown-locked-van-84843412
Sentence seems extremely harsh, and in order to get it, the judge wet out of his way to make every charge back to back instead of any in parallel, for something that was a (very dumb) accident and from the description, it sounds like he wasn't denying he was at fault and is remorseful (was there a plea deal?).
And they pointed out various other officials waved them through into the flood zone and there were equipment failures.
Police intentionally murder people and constantly get much lower time in jail than this. The uneven jail sentencing in our system is really upsetting.
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Lokarin
05/20/22 10:57:50 PM
#144:


Town in Maine shuts down because their one clerk quit

https://www.breezyscroll.com/world/entire-maine-town-forced-to-shut-after-its-only-clerk-quits-over-denied-vacation/

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Lokarin
05/21/22 12:02:16 AM
#145:


Woman charged $40 for crying

https://www.ndtv.com/offbeat/us-woman-shocked-after-being-charged-40-for-crying-during-doctors-visit-2990047

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Revelation34
05/21/22 6:03:02 AM
#146:


Lokarin posted...
Woman charged $40 for crying

https://www.ndtv.com/offbeat/us-woman-shocked-after-being-charged-40-for-crying-during-doctors-visit-2990047


I would refuse to pay that.

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Lokarin
05/23/22 1:39:53 PM
#147:


TN to ban public camping

https://www.newsnationnow.com/us-news/mid-south/tennessee-becomes-1st-state-to-make-public-camping-a-felony/

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Solid Sonic
05/23/22 2:45:15 PM
#148:


Lokarin posted...
China tells Sweden to respect Islam

https://www.middleeastmonitor.com/20220420-respect-religious-beliefs-of-muslims-china-tells-sweden/

...

What?! >_<

China...is telling another nation...to get its shit together over religious persecution. I mean...good on them but...really?

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Lokarin
05/25/22 5:30:45 PM
#149:


Almost every single republican candidate for governor of Michigan accused of fraud

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/
michigan-election-bureau-says-two-leading-republican
-candidates-for-governor-filed-fraudulent-signatures-disqualifying-them

cuz gamefaqs can't link

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Lokarin
05/25/22 6:23:54 PM
#150:


Guest on Fox News suggests bulletproof blankets to stop school shootings

https://www.newsweek.com/ballistic-blankets-children-shot-maureen-oconnell-fox-news-school-uvalde-texas-1709955

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