Current Events > The post-breakup mania is giving way to the trauma and depression

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butthole666 05/12/21 1:00:07 AM #1:	Last week, I broke up with someone who beat me and gave me deep mental scars that I will likely be grappling with for years. This felt incredible at first. However, that manic high of being free, of having my life back, and the relief of knowing I will not be dead before the end of the year, is now subsiding, and the true gravity of the trauma this person has imparted on me is setting in, as is the realization that breaking up with them neither fixed all of the damage they caused to my life or any of the problems I have that had nothing to do with them. I feel very bad. might be time to give anti-depressants another shot. I wish I never fucking met that monster. I was already fighting an uphill battle with my mental heath before I took on the full weight of their abusive upbringing and mental illness and the tenfold externalization of it that they subjected me to. --- "Kenan & Kel is what made me realize I wasn't racist." ~ NewportBox100s <cite>butthole666 posted [p:953813663] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>Last week, I broke up with someone who beat me and gave me deep mental scars that I will likely be grappling with for years. This felt incredible at first. However, that manic high of being free, of having my life back, and the relief of knowing I will not be dead before the end of the year, is now subsiding, and the true gravity of the trauma this person has imparted on me is setting in, as is the realization that breaking up with them neither fixed all of the damage they caused to my life or any of the problems I have that had nothing to do with them. I feel very bad. might be time to give anti-depressants another shot. I wish I never fucking met that monster. I was already fighting an uphill battle with my mental heath before I took on the full weight of their abusive upbringing and mental illness and the tenfold externalization of it that they subjected me to. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
DespondentDeity 05/12/21 1:02:00 AM #2:	Wellbutrin is a phenomenal drug for treating depression. if getting on AD meds is something youre seriously considering, Id look into it. I dont want to comment on the breakup stuff cuz Im dealing with one too and I just dont want to conflate my scenario with yours, but Im on your side. --- The web of destiny carries your blood and soul back to the Genesis of my life form. I never be, I never see, I never know <cite>DespondentDeity posted [p:953813699] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>Wellbutrin is a phenomenal drug for treating depression. if getting on AD meds is something youre seriously considering, Id look into it. I dont want to comment on the breakup stuff cuz Im dealing with one too and I just dont want to conflate my scenario with yours, but Im on your side. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
butthole666 05/12/21 1:26:32 AM #3:	Ive been struggling with this shit since I was like 11 years old I cannot understand why nothing ever gets better --- "Kenan & Kel is what made me realize I wasn't racist." ~ NewportBox100s <cite>butthole666 posted [p:953814150] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>Ive been struggling with this shit since I was like 11 years old I cannot understand why nothing ever gets better </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Wii_Shaker 05/12/21 1:43:08 AM #4:	Talking to people about it helps. Even if it's just some of us goons on the message boards. I highly recommend either therapy, meditation or both but if you think that anti-depressants might work for you, give it a shot. Be sure to take care of yourself any way you can. --- "He busted in, blessed be the Lord Who believe any mess they read up on a message board" -MF DOOM 1970-2020 (G.O.A.T.) <cite>Wii_Shaker posted [p:953814465] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>Talking to people about it helps. Even if it's just some of us goons on the message boards. I highly recommend either therapy, meditation or both but if you think that anti-depressants might work for you, give it a shot. Be sure to take care of yourself any way you can. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Perascamin 05/12/21 1:55:48 AM #5:	I'm not sure you need antidepressants because of a breakup, but it sounds like you have a history that warrants it --- I've grown. <cite>Perascamin posted [p:953814673] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>I'm not sure you need antidepressants because of a breakup, but it sounds like you have a history that warrants it </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Mistere Man 05/12/21 2:03:55 AM #6:	Was your monster male or female? Not judging as I have known some monsters of both genders in my time, I am just curious if you dont mind my asking. --- Water+Fall=Radiation. <cite>Mistere Man posted [p:953814780] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>Was your monster male or female? Not judging as I have known some monsters of both genders in my time, I am just curious if you dont mind my asking. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
toyota 05/12/21 2:07:30 AM #7:	butthole666 posted... someone who beat me damn bro, what happened? How long was it going on for? <cite>toyota posted [p:953814838] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>butthole666 posted... </cite> <quote>someone who beat me</quote> damn bro, what happened? How long was it going on for? </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
butthole666 05/12/21 2:40:14 AM #8:	toyota posted... damn bro, what happened? How long was it going on for? They hit me a bunch, held me against my will constantly (often via manipulation, sometimes via physical force, dragging me kicking and screaming back into their room; like a cartoon, I would be trying to sprint past them, literally grabbing onto door frames as they pulled me back with their full strength and slammed and locked the door, then stood between me and said door), threatened to kill me, TRIED to kill me several times by pulling a kitchen knife on me and backing me into a corner, another by sitting on top of me and repeatedly slamming my head on the hard wood floor, several times bit me and broke skin through my thick winter coat sleeves, scratched me and broke skin, and would often self harm then accuse me of physically abusing them, either saying I cut them after they made me watch them cut, or by telling me I hit them when I would try to get whatever blade they were trying to use or object they were trying to smash on their head away from them. they constantly pressured me into sex, and there was an implicit threat of violence if I said no, as much of what I described above was preceded by me saying no, them being angry, and it escalating when I did not cave. they gaslit me about all of this and would constantly tell me they dont remember it or it didnt happen; I never believed this, but I was NOT allowed to ever speak of it, or it would happen again. On countless occasions, they would sit in my car for hours screaming at me, refusing to get out, forcing me to drive rather than park then hitting me while I drove, trying to grab my arms and the wheel and swerve the car off the road. If I told them to get out at their house, they would refuse, wait until we were a few minutes down the road, then swing my door open while I was driving on a main road and threaten to jump out, then get out, sometimes in bare feet, always leaving behind whatever shit they had with them, and either threaten to lay in front of traffic, start walking away but get mad if I did not pursue, or just fucking stand there screaming at me on the sidewalk this isnt even the fucking surface of it man --- "Kenan & Kel is what made me realize I wasn't racist." ~ NewportBox100s <cite>butthole666 posted [p:953815341] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>toyota posted... </cite> <quote>damn bro, what happened? How long was it going on for?</quote>They hit me a bunch, held me against my will constantly (often via manipulation, sometimes via physical force, dragging me kicking and screaming back into their room; like a cartoon, I would be trying to sprint past them, literally grabbing onto door frames as they pulled me back with their full strength and slammed and locked the door, then stood between me and said door), threatened to kill me, TRIED to kill me several times by pulling a kitchen knife on me and backing me into a corner, another by sitting on top of me and repeatedly slamming my head on the hard wood floor, several times bit me and broke skin through my thick winter coat sleeves, scratched me and broke skin, and would often self harm then accuse me of physically abusing them, either saying I cut them after they made me watch them cut, or by telling me I hit them when I would try to get whatever blade they were trying to use or object they were trying to smash on their head away from them. they constantly pressured me into sex, and there was an implicit threat of violence if I said no, as much of what I described above was preceded by me saying no, them being angry, and it escalating when I did not cave. they gaslit me about all of this and would constantly tell me they dont remember it or it didnt happen; I never believed this, but I was NOT allowed to ever speak of it, or it would happen again. On countless occasions, they would sit in my car for hours screaming at me, refusing to get out, forcing me to drive rather than park then hitting me while I drove, trying to grab my arms and the wheel and swerve the car off the road. If I told them to get out at their house, they would refuse, wait until we were a few minutes down the road, then swing my door open while I was driving on a main road and threaten to jump out, then get out, sometimes in bare feet, always leaving behind whatever shit they had with them, and either threaten to lay in front of traffic, start walking away but get mad if I did not pursue, or just fucking stand there screaming at me on the sidewalk this isnt even the fucking surface of it man </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
butthole666 05/12/21 2:42:07 AM #9:	They would spend hours doing this shit and cutting in front of me then i would have to have sex with them while their legs were still bleeding and if I said no it would just keep fucking going --- "Kenan & Kel is what made me realize I wasn't racist." ~ NewportBox100s <cite>butthole666 posted [p:953815366] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>They would spend hours doing this shit and cutting in front of me then i would have to have sex with them while their legs were still bleeding and if I said no it would just keep fucking going </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
No_U_L7 05/12/21 2:44:31 AM #10:	Mistere Man posted... Was your monster male or female? Not judging as I have known some monsters of both genders in my time, I am just curious if you dont mind my asking. it's his gimmick that he doesn't specify. i believe he's confirmed in another topic that it's some female cougar/milf --- https://imgur.com/QPgN9 <cite>No_U_L7 posted [p:953815405] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>Mistere Man posted...</cite> <quote>Was your monster male or female? Not judging as I have known some monsters of both genders in my time, I am just curious if you dont mind my asking. </quote> it's his gimmick that he doesn't specify. i believe he's confirmed in another topic that it's some female cougar/milf</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
butthole666 05/12/21 2:47:49 AM #11:	No_U_L7 posted... it's his gimmick that he doesn't specify. i believe he's confirmed in another topic that it's some female cougar/milf I was raped by an older woman when I was 20. This is the person I dated for 3 years starting about 4-5 months after I cut contact with her; neither was a cougar/milf. Go back to posting watches you dont own and pretending to have sex for another 10 years. --- "Kenan & Kel is what made me realize I wasn't racist." ~ NewportBox100s <cite>butthole666 posted [p:953815450] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>No_U_L7 posted... </cite> <quote>it's his gimmick that he doesn't specify. i believe he's confirmed in another topic that it's some female cougar/milf</quote>I was raped by an older woman when I was 20. This is the person I dated for 3 years starting about 4-5 months after I cut contact with her; neither was a cougar/milf. Go back to posting watches you dont own and pretending to have sex for another 10 years. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
No_U_L7 05/12/21 2:50:54 AM #12:	butthole666 posted... I was raped by an older woman when I was 20. This is the person I dated for 3 years starting about 4-5 months after I cut contact with her; neither was a cougar/milf. Go back to posting watches you dont own and pretending to have sex for another 10 years. are you that upset that i misremembered your topics when you clearly just explained how that confusion can easily occur? or are you mad that i answered his question which you were clearly intending to ignore? or are you mad at how successful i am? i was just trying to answer the dude's question, save your anger for where it belongs --- https://imgur.com/QPgN9 <cite>No_U_L7 posted [p:953815490] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>butthole666 posted...</cite> <quote> I was raped by an older woman when I was 20. This is the person I dated for 3 years starting about 4-5 months after I cut contact with her; neither was a cougar/milf. Go back to posting watches you dont own and pretending to have sex for another 10 years. </quote> are you that upset that i misremembered your topics when you clearly just explained how that confusion can easily occur? or are you mad that i answered his question which you were clearly intending to ignore? or are you mad at how successful i am? i was just trying to answer the dude's question, save your anger for where it belongs</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Mistere Man 05/12/21 2:54:49 AM #13:	butthole666 posted... They hit me a bunch, held me against my will constantly (often via manipulation, sometimes via physical force, dragging me kicking and screaming back into their room; like a cartoon, I would be trying to sprint past them, literally grabbing onto door frames as they pulled me back with their full strength and slammed and locked the door, then stood between me and said door), threatened to kill me, TRIED to kill me several times by pulling a kitchen knife on me and backing me into a corner, another by sitting on top of me and repeatedly slamming my head on the hard wood floor, several times bit me and broke skin through my thick winter coat sleeves, scratched me and broke skin, and would often self harm then accuse me of physically abusing them, either saying I cut them after they made me watch them cut, or by telling me I hit them when I would try to get whatever blade they were trying to use or object they were trying to smash on their head away from them. they constantly pressured me into sex, and there was an implicit threat of violence if I said no, as much of what I described above was preceded by me saying no, them being angry, and it escalating when I did not cave. they gaslit me about all of this and would constantly tell me they dont remember it or it didnt happen; I never believed this, but I was NOT allowed to ever speak of it, or it would happen again. On countless occasions, they would sit in my car for hours screaming at me, refusing to get out, forcing me to drive rather than park then hitting me while I drove, trying to grab my arms and the wheel and swerve the car off the road. If I told them to get out at their house, they would refuse, wait until we were a few minutes down the road, then swing my door open while I was driving on a main road and threaten to jump out, then get out, sometimes in bare feet, always leaving behind whatever shit they had with them, and either threaten to lay in front of traffic, start walking away but get mad if I did not pursue, or just fucking stand there screaming at me on the sidewalk this isnt even the fucking surface of it man Reminds me of a girlfriend my brother had for a while in high school. Because he talked to another girl who he had a class project with she started screaming at him throwing things, beating her head against walls, and cutting herself all because he talked to another girl at school. I am so glad he stopped dating her. Dont get me wrong yours was much worse, but still it reminded me of them. --- Water+Fall=Radiation. <cite>Mistere Man posted [p:953815545] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>butthole666 posted... </cite> <quote>They hit me a bunch, held me against my will constantly (often via manipulation, sometimes via physical force, dragging me kicking and screaming back into their room; like a cartoon, I would be trying to sprint past them, literally grabbing onto door frames as they pulled me back with their full strength and slammed and locked the door, then stood between me and said door), threatened to kill me, TRIED to kill me several times by pulling a kitchen knife on me and backing me into a corner, another by sitting on top of me and repeatedly slamming my head on the hard wood floor, several times bit me and broke skin through my thick winter coat sleeves, scratched me and broke skin, and would often self harm then accuse me of physically abusing them, either saying I cut them after they made me watch them cut, or by telling me I hit them when I would try to get whatever blade they were trying to use or object they were trying to smash on their head away from them. they constantly pressured me into sex, and there was an implicit threat of violence if I said no, as much of what I described above was preceded by me saying no, them being angry, and it escalating when I did not cave. they gaslit me about all of this and would constantly tell me they dont remember it or it didnt happen; I never believed this, but I was NOT allowed to ever speak of it, or it would happen again. On countless occasions, they would sit in my car for hours screaming at me, refusing to get out, forcing me to drive rather than park then hitting me while I drove, trying to grab my arms and the wheel and swerve the car off the road. If I told them to get out at their house, they would refuse, wait until we were a few minutes down the road, then swing my door open while I was driving on a main road and threaten to jump out, then get out, sometimes in bare feet, always leaving behind whatever shit they had with them, and either threaten to lay in front of traffic, start walking away but get mad if I did not pursue, or just fucking stand there screaming at me on the sidewalk this isnt even the fucking surface of it man</quote>Reminds me of a girlfriend my brother had for a while in high school. Because he talked to another girl who he had a class project with she started screaming at him throwing things, beating her head against walls, and cutting herself all because he talked to another girl at school. I am so glad he stopped dating her. Dont get me wrong yours was much worse, but still it reminded me of them. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
butthole666 05/12/21 3:26:14 AM #14:	I should have gone to the cops any time i had marks on me --- "Kenan & Kel is what made me realize I wasn't racist." ~ NewportBox100s <cite>butthole666 posted [p:953815936] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>I should have gone to the cops any time i had marks on me </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Mistere Man 05/12/21 3:27:51 AM #15:	butthole666 posted... I should have gone to the cops any time i had marks on me Probably, but you may have feared what would happen if they got out or were not arrested. --- Water+Fall=Radiation. <cite>Mistere Man posted [p:953815960] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>butthole666 posted... </cite> <quote>I should have gone to the cops any time i had marks on me</quote>Probably, but you may have feared what would happen if they got out or were not arrested. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
toyota 05/12/21 3:53:21 AM #16:	butthole666 posted... They hit me a bunch, held me against my will constantly (often via manipulation, sometimes via physical force, dragging me kicking and screaming back into their room; like a cartoon, I would be trying to sprint past them, literally grabbing onto door frames as they pulled me back with their full strength and slammed and locked the door, then stood between me and said door), threatened to kill me, TRIED to kill me several times by pulling a kitchen knife on me and backing me into a corner, another by sitting on top of me and repeatedly slamming my head on the hard wood floor, several times bit me and broke skin through my thick winter coat sleeves, scratched me and broke skin, and would often self harm then accuse me of physically abusing them, either saying I cut them after they made me watch them cut, or by telling me I hit them when I would try to get whatever blade they were trying to use or object they were trying to smash on their head away from them. they constantly pressured me into sex, and there was an implicit threat of violence if I said no, as much of what I described above was preceded by me saying no, them being angry, and it escalating when I did not cave. they gaslit me about all of this and would constantly tell me they dont remember it or it didnt happen; I never believed this, but I was NOT allowed to ever speak of it, or it would happen again. On countless occasions, they would sit in my car for hours screaming at me, refusing to get out, forcing me to drive rather than park then hitting me while I drove, trying to grab my arms and the wheel and swerve the car off the road. If I told them to get out at their house, they would refuse, wait until we were a few minutes down the road, then swing my door open while I was driving on a main road and threaten to jump out, then get out, sometimes in bare feet, always leaving behind whatever shit they had with them, and either threaten to lay in front of traffic, start walking away but get mad if I did not pursue, or just fucking stand there screaming at me on the sidewalk this isnt even the fucking surface of it man They? there were multiple people involved in this? <cite>toyota posted [p:953816254] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>butthole666 posted... </cite> <quote>They hit me a bunch, held me against my will constantly (often via manipulation, sometimes via physical force, dragging me kicking and screaming back into their room; like a cartoon, I would be trying to sprint past them, literally grabbing onto door frames as they pulled me back with their full strength and slammed and locked the door, then stood between me and said door), threatened to kill me, TRIED to kill me several times by pulling a kitchen knife on me and backing me into a corner, another by sitting on top of me and repeatedly slamming my head on the hard wood floor, several times bit me and broke skin through my thick winter coat sleeves, scratched me and broke skin, and would often self harm then accuse me of physically abusing them, either saying I cut them after they made me watch them cut, or by telling me I hit them when I would try to get whatever blade they were trying to use or object they were trying to smash on their head away from them. they constantly pressured me into sex, and there was an implicit threat of violence if I said no, as much of what I described above was preceded by me saying no, them being angry, and it escalating when I did not cave. they gaslit me about all of this and would constantly tell me they dont remember it or it didnt happen; I never believed this, but I was NOT allowed to ever speak of it, or it would happen again. On countless occasions, they would sit in my car for hours screaming at me, refusing to get out, forcing me to drive rather than park then hitting me while I drove, trying to grab my arms and the wheel and swerve the car off the road. If I told them to get out at their house, they would refuse, wait until we were a few minutes down the road, then swing my door open while I was driving on a main road and threaten to jump out, then get out, sometimes in bare feet, always leaving behind whatever shit they had with them, and either threaten to lay in front of traffic, start walking away but get mad if I did not pursue, or just fucking stand there screaming at me on the sidewalk this isnt even the fucking surface of it man</quote> They? there were multiple people involved in this? </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Mistere Man 05/12/21 3:58:46 AM #17:	toyota posted... They? there were multiple people involved in this? They has singular use as well as plural if I remember correctly. --- Water+Fall=Radiation. <cite>Mistere Man posted [p:953816325] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>toyota posted... </cite> <quote>They? there were multiple people involved in this?</quote>They has singular use as well as plural if I remember correctly. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
No_U_L7 05/12/21 4:06:42 AM #18:	toyota posted... They? there were multiple people involved in this? It's his gimmick to not identify the gender --- https://imgur.com/QPgN9 <cite>No_U_L7 posted [p:953816412] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>toyota posted...</cite> <quote> They? there were multiple people involved in this? </quote> It's his gimmick to not identify the gender</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
butthole666 05/12/21 10:33:46 AM #19:	No_U_L7 posted... It's his gimmick to not identify the gender Will you fuck off? toyota posted... They? there were multiple people involved in this? Singular they. --- "Kenan & Kel is what made me realize I wasn't racist." ~ NewportBox100s <cite>butthole666 posted [p:953822514] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>No_U_L7 posted... </cite> <quote>It's his gimmick to not identify the gender</quote>Will you fuck off? toyota posted... </cite> <quote>They? there were multiple people involved in this?</quote>Singular they. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
DrizztLink 05/12/21 10:41:21 AM #20:	butthole666 posted... Will you fuck off? Yeah, we get that Schofield has a pathetic fucking life but he really doesn't need to be bringing it into this. Also he blocked me for pointing out the aforementioned pathetic fucking life. You should probably talk to a professional, TC. Like, you've been through some shit, there's no shame in seeking help. --- http://guidesmedia.ign.com/guides/9846/images/slowpoke.gif https://imgur.com/M8h2ATe https://imgur.com/6ezFwG1 <cite>DrizztLink posted [p:953822749] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>butthole666 posted... </cite> <quote>Will you fuck off?</quote>Yeah, we get that Schofield has a pathetic fucking life but he really doesn't need to be bringing it into this. Also he blocked me for pointing out the aforementioned pathetic fucking life. You should probably talk to a professional, TC. Like, you've been through some shit, there's no shame in seeking help. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
butthole666 05/12/21 2:37:18 PM #21:	Im so behind on getting actual medical care due to this relationship that getting referred to a therapist seems impossible lol also yes scho is someone i clocked as sd when i was like 13 and first started posting here. I am now 24. --- "Kenan & Kel is what made me realize I wasn't racist." ~ NewportBox100s* <cite>butthole666 posted [p:953830597] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>Im so behind on getting actual medical care due to this relationship that getting referred to a therapist seems impossible lol also yes scho is someone i clocked as s*d when i was like 13 and first started posting here. I am now 24. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
butthole666 05/12/21 4:22:28 PM #22:	Ive been having an ongoing and growing feeling of dread all day at work and i just want to go home and go to bed lol --- "Kenan & Kel is what made me realize I wasn't racist." ~ NewportBox100s <cite>butthole666 posted [p:953834313] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>Ive been having an ongoing and growing feeling of dread all day at work and i just want to go home and go to bed lol </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
OffTempo 05/12/21 4:26:52 PM #23:	I know this is a cookie cutter response, but if you aren't already, get into therapy man. I hope things work out for you and you find happiness and can move past that shitty relationship. --- Interviewer: "You're not even a superhero you're more of a vampire slayer." Blade: "Don't do that" <cite>OffTempo posted [p:953834448] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>I know this is a cookie cutter response, but if you aren't already, get into therapy man. I hope things work out for you and you find happiness and can move past that shitty relationship. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Badmotorfinger 05/12/21 4:28:01 PM #24:	@No_U_L7 posted... It's his gimmick to not identify the gender Are you really that much of a dumbass that you're in your mid 30s and you can't figure out what non-binary is? Or that singular they is a thing and has been around for centuries before you were even alive? <cite>Badmotorfinger posted [p:953834486] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>@No_U_L7 posted...</cite> <quote> It's his gimmick to not identify the gender</quote> Are you really that much of a dumbass that you're in your mid 30s and you can't figure out what non-binary is? Or that singular they is a thing and has been around for centuries before you were even alive?</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
No_U_L7 05/12/21 4:41:49 PM #25:	Badmotorfinger posted... Are you really that much of a dumbass that you're in your mid 30s and you can't figure out what non-binary is? Or that singular they is a thing and has been around for centuries before you were even alive? No I'm fine with the use of they...op uses it for literally any time anyone else is involved in a topic, not just this specific person --- https://imgur.com/QPgN9 <cite>No_U_L7 posted [p:953834931] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>Badmotorfinger posted...</cite> <quote> Are you really that much of a dumbass that you're in your mid 30s and you can't figure out what non-binary is? Or that singular they is a thing and has been around for centuries before you were even alive?</quote> No I'm fine with the use of they...op uses it for literally any time anyone else is involved in a topic, not just this specific person</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
butthole666 05/12/21 4:45:10 PM #26:	No_U_L7 posted... No I'm fine with the use of they...op uses it for literally any time anyone else is involved in a topic, not just this specific person No I dont lol --- "Kenan & Kel is what made me realize I wasn't racist." ~ NewportBox100s <cite>butthole666 posted [p:953835035] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>No_U_L7 posted... </cite> <quote>No I'm fine with the use of they...op uses it for literally any time anyone else is involved in a topic, not just this specific person</quote>No I dont lol </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
No_U_L7 05/12/21 4:48:13 PM #27:	butthole666 posted... No I dont lol Then my bad, probably the same person in all the topics....so many thats what it seemed like --- https://imgur.com/QPgN9 <cite>No_U_L7 posted [p:953835123] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>butthole666 posted...</cite> <quote> No I dont lol </quote> Then my bad, probably the same person in all the topics....so many thats what it seemed like</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Flamer_Blue 05/12/21 4:48:48 PM #28:	butthole666 posted... Last week, I broke up with someone who beat me and gave me deep mental scars that I will likely be grappling with for years. This felt incredible at first. However, that manic high of being free, of having my life back, and the relief of knowing I will not be dead before the end of the year, is now subsiding, and the true gravity of the trauma this person has imparted on me is setting in, as is the realization that breaking up with them neither fixed all of the damage they caused to my life or any of the problems I have that had nothing to do with them. I feel very bad. might be time to give anti-depressants another shot. I wish I never fucking met that monster. I was already fighting an uphill battle with my mental heath before I took on the full weight of their abusive upbringing and mental illness, and the tenfold externalization of those that they subjected me to. Just think about this. You wanted to be treated badly. Your next SO might even beat you up harder unless you change your toxic behavior. --- <cite>Metallix87 posted...</cite> "Nintendo is an animal" <cite>Flamer_Blue posted [p:953835139] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>butthole666 posted... </cite> <quote>Last week, I broke up with someone who beat me and gave me deep mental scars that I will likely be grappling with for years. This felt incredible at first. However, that manic high of being free, of having my life back, and the relief of knowing I will not be dead before the end of the year, is now subsiding, and the true gravity of the trauma this person has imparted on me is setting in, as is the realization that breaking up with them neither fixed all of the damage they caused to my life or any of the problems I have that had nothing to do with them. I feel very bad. might be time to give anti-depressants another shot. I wish I never fucking met that monster. I was already fighting an uphill battle with my mental heath before I took on the full weight of their abusive upbringing and mental illness, and the tenfold externalization of those that they subjected me to.</quote>Just think about this. You wanted to be treated badly. Your next SO might even beat you up harder unless you change your toxic behavior. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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nfearurspecimn 05/12/21 5:18:57 PM #31:	butthole666 posted... might be time to give anti-depressants another shot please do. take whatever help you can get in this rough time. --- Wake up. You have to wake up. currently a preta/hungry ghost Dai Grepher: I was wrong. My entire theory is incorrect. Zero Mission IS a remake of Metroid. <cite>nfearurspecimn posted [p:953836010] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>butthole666 posted... </cite> <quote>might be time to give anti-depressants another shot</quote>please do. take whatever help you can get in this rough time. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
butthole666 05/13/21 11:48:34 AM #32:	I am also beefing it fuckin hard trying to talk to someone new and realizing I am not ready to do so AT ALL, but it feels like Im already in too deep and they are really into me and I dont want to hurt them --- "Kenan & Kel is what made me realize I wasn't racist." ~ NewportBox100s <cite>butthole666 posted [p:953861217] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>I am also beefing it fuckin hard trying to talk to someone new and realizing I am not ready to do so AT ALL, but it feels like Im already in too deep and they are really into me and I dont want to hurt them </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
No_U_L7 05/13/21 2:52:58 PM #33:	butthole666 posted... I am also beefing it fuckin hard trying to talk to someone new and realizing I am not ready to do so AT ALL, but it feels like Im already in too deep and they are really into me and I dont want to hurt them Do you only date non binary people? --- https://imgur.com/QPgN9 <cite>No_U_L7 posted [p:953867559] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>butthole666 posted...</cite> <quote>I am also beefing it fuckin hard trying to talk to someone new and realizing I am not ready to do so AT ALL, but it feels like Im already in too deep and they are really into me and I dont want to hurt them </quote> Do you only date non binary people?</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Mistere Man 05/13/21 5:37:21 PM #34:	butthole666 posted... I am also beefing it fuckin hard trying to talk to someone new and realizing I am not ready to do so AT ALL, but it feels like Im already in too deep and they are really into me and I dont want to hurt them I would say take your time with things but sometimes getting right back into things can be good. I hope things work out better this time around. --- Water+Fall=Radiation. <cite>Mistere Man posted [p:953873298] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>butthole666 posted... </cite> <quote>I am also beefing it fuckin hard trying to talk to someone new and realizing I am not ready to do so AT ALL, but it feels like Im already in too deep and they are really into me and I dont want to hurt them </quote>I would say take your time with things but sometimes getting right back into things can be good. I hope things work out better this time around. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
butthole666 05/14/21 2:47:07 AM #35:	No_U_L7 posted... Do you only date non binary people? A queer person dates queer people how alarming --- "Kenan & Kel is what made me realize I wasn't racist." ~ NewportBox100s <cite>butthole666 posted [p:953888165] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>No_U_L7 posted... </cite> <quote>Do you only date non binary people?</quote>A queer person dates queer people how alarming </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
butthole666 05/14/21 11:16:19 PM #36:	They tried to use their roommates suicide to manipulate me into contact. It did not work. They are now becoming aggressive and ramping up the harassment. --- "Kenan & Kel is what made me realize I wasn't racist." ~ NewportBox100s <cite>butthole666 posted [p:953919306] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>They tried to use their roommates suicide to manipulate me into contact. It did not work. They are now becoming aggressive and ramping up the harassment. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Mistere Man 05/14/21 11:46:36 PM #37:	butthole666 posted... They tried to use their roommates suicide to manipulate me into contact. It did not work. They are now becoming aggressive and ramping up the harassment. Their roommate killed themself?! Did they have their own problems that you knew of? I mean if you knew them very well. --- Water+Fall=Radiation. <cite>Mistere Man posted [p:953920115] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>butthole666 posted... </cite> <quote>They tried to use their roommates suicide to manipulate me into contact. It did not work. They are now becoming aggressive and ramping up the harassment.</quote>Their roommate killed themself?! Did they have their own problems that you knew of? I mean if you knew them very well. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
RedJackson 05/15/21 12:04:02 AM #38:	butthole666 posted... I am also beefing it fuckin hard trying to talk to someone new and realizing I am not ready to do so AT ALL, but it feels like Im already in too deep and they are really into me and I dont want to hurt them It just is what it is, rather be you and feel 100% than not really be you and be on 70% --- https://imgur.com/e6aBSof - Pus_N_Pecans original! https://imgur.com/bve6U7T - Error1335 original! <cite>RedJackson posted [p:953920543] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>butthole666 posted... </cite> <quote>I am also beefing it fuckin hard trying to talk to someone new and realizing I am not ready to do so AT ALL, but it feels like Im already in too deep and they are really into me and I dont want to hurt them </quote> It just is what it is, rather be you and feel 100% than not really be you and be on 70% </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
butthole666 05/15/21 1:03:57 AM #39:	Mistere Man posted... Their roommate killed themself?! Did they have their own problems that you knew of? I mean if you knew them very well. I have no information, I dont know if its a current roommate who I knew or anyone from any number of living situations. It was left deliberately vague to try and get me to respond, as well as framing it like people cant keep disappearing i cant handle it you need to talk to me. Its fucking repulsive. --- "Kenan & Kel is what made me realize I wasn't racist." ~ NewportBox100s <cite>butthole666 posted [p:953921913] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>Mistere Man posted... </cite> <quote>Their roommate killed themself?! Did they have their own problems that you knew of? I mean if you knew them very well.</quote>I have no information, I dont know if its a current roommate who I knew or anyone from any number of living situations. It was left deliberately vague to try and get me to respond, as well as framing it like people cant keep disappearing i cant handle it you need to talk to me. Its fucking repulsive. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Mistere Man 05/15/21 1:51:27 AM #40:	butthole666 posted... I have no information, I dont know if its a current roommate who I knew or anyone from any number of living situations. It was left deliberately vague to try and get me to respond, as well as framing it like people cant keep disappearing i cant handle it you need to talk to me. Its fucking repulsive. Yeah definitely stay the hell away from that. They sound like a truly horrible person, and you are much better without their crazy bringing you down. --- Water+Fall=Radiation. <cite>Mistere Man posted [p:953922774] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>butthole666 posted... </cite> <quote>I have no information, I dont know if its a current roommate who I knew or anyone from any number of living situations. It was left deliberately vague to try and get me to respond, as well as framing it like people cant keep disappearing i cant handle it you need to talk to me. Its fucking repulsive.</quote>Yeah definitely stay the hell away from that. They sound like a truly horrible person, and you are much better without their crazy bringing you down. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
butthole666 05/15/21 1:52:20 AM #41:	Mistere Man posted... Yeah definitely stay the hell away from that. They sound like a truly horrible person, and you are much better without their crazy bringing you down. See above. I wish this was the worst thing they have done. --- "Kenan & Kel is what made me realize I wasn't racist." ~ NewportBox100s <cite>butthole666 posted [p:953922780] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>Mistere Man posted... </cite> <quote>Yeah definitely stay the hell away from that. They sound like a truly horrible person, and you are much better without their crazy bringing you down.</quote>See above. I wish this was the worst thing they have done. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Mistere Man 05/15/21 1:59:27 AM #42:	butthole666 posted... See above. I wish this was the worst thing they have done. I know this just adds to it. I mean it screams this is a ploy to drag you back into that living hell. --- Water+Fall=Radiation. <cite>Mistere Man posted [p:953922893] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>butthole666 posted... </cite> <quote>See above. I wish this was the worst thing they have done.</quote>I know this just adds to it. I mean it screams this is a ploy to drag you back into that living hell. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
legendarylemur 05/15/21 1:59:51 AM #43:	DespondentDeity posted... Wellbutrin is a phenomenal drug for treating depression. if getting on AD meds is something youre seriously considering, Id look into it. I dont want to comment on the breakup stuff cuz Im dealing with one too and I just dont want to conflate my scenario with yours, but Im on your side. Can vouch for Wellbutrin pretty much being the only drug that I felt a net posittive from. All the other ones I've taken has either had 0 effect on me or had a lot of really inconvenient side effects like erectile dysfunction and just weirdly a lot of penis related problems in general like peeing >.>. But you should always consult a psychiatrist first. I don't even think you can straight up buy those drugs anyways --- "Iwata was awesome" - Mr. Nintendo https://imgur.com/krtFHol <cite>legendarylemur posted [p:953922905] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>DespondentDeity posted... </cite> <quote>Wellbutrin is a phenomenal drug for treating depression. if getting on AD meds is something youre seriously considering, Id look into it. I dont want to comment on the breakup stuff cuz Im dealing with one too and I just dont want to conflate my scenario with yours, but Im on your side.</quote>Can vouch for Wellbutrin pretty much being the only drug that I felt a net posittive from. All the other ones I've taken has either had 0 effect on me or had a lot of really inconvenient side effects like erectile dysfunction and just weirdly a lot of penis related problems in general like peeing >.>. But you should always consult a psychiatrist first. I don't even think you can straight up buy those drugs anyways </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
MrMallard 05/15/21 2:18:02 AM #44:	I've been going through a similar sort of wringer TC, not on the same level as you've gone through and with a much quicker gestation cycle, but I can relate to what you're saying due to the relief giving way into shame and despondency. In my case, I confided in a friend of mine about a girl I liked for about a year - I decided I was gonna pursue her in June of last year, and that's when I started confiding in my friend. I admitted how I felt, she let me down easy - all good, so I started working to put that all out of my mind. I started getting a weird third wheel vibe, so one night when we were walking home from hers - our main friend group lives in the same house, so we're always going up to hang out - I tell him if there's something going on between them, I'd appreciate being told so I can distance myself and lessen any pain that it would out me through. He told me nothing was up. A couple months pass, during which I confide in him about how hard it is getting over her. I go up after being sick, and his arm's around her shoulders and they're cuddling under a blanket. Internally, I start freaking out - I'd accepted that she'd re-entered the dating world, but the thought of her with my friend was like the one most painful scenario imaginable, and I began to go downhill. Eventually I confronted him about it - the way I phrased it was "I'm not going to be made to feel like a third wheel any more". And he told me that she made a move on him and he was pursuing it. Initially, I was relieved to know that I wasn't losing my mind. I came to terms with what happened. But the next day, the depression and anger and feelings of betrayal kicked in - the way he phrased it had me making excuses for him doing something that fucking sucked and hurt me, and that's when it sunk in that I had confided in him about this girl for an entire fucking year before this happened. It fucking sucked. I'm still angry at him, because I wouldn't have done the same thing to him if I was in his shoes. Not really comparable to leaving your abuser, I know. But when I found out the truth, I was able to process the reality of the situation and come to terms that it was happening. I was genuinely okay for the rest of that day - I had beers with another friend and played pool, and I felt like I was on top of things. I spent the next week after that in bed. I didn't leave the house the entire time. I was upset and confused, I was angry, and I didn't know how to process how I felt. I at least appreciated that he had told me about it, but the next day I realised I had to confront him for him to tell me - so who knows how long this would have played out behind my back if I hadn't spoken up - and I realised that I had taken on this mindset of being the better person when I felt like I had been wronged. So why the fuck do I have to be the better person? Fuck them. It was the worst week in recent memory, and frankly I'm surprised and eternally grateful that it was only a week. I've gone through the same process in the past, and it's taken months of feeling like that before I've gotten better. I don't mean to equate our situations, or like make this all about me. But I wanted to let you know the thing that helped me get over this. Fuck everyone else's feelings, especially the people who've made you feel this bad. You need to make time for yourself. You're hurt and upset and you might feel like you're sinking - so you need to do whatever it takes to take care of yourself and make yourself feel better. Be selfish - be upset, let people know you're in pain, spread yourself over as much support as you can whether it be your online communities or your IRL support structure. And don't worry about being selfish - when you're in a place where you feel like you can stand on your own two feet, then you can worry about feeling selfish and you can consider paying people back for being there when you needed them. Until then, take what you need for you to feel better. That's not to say "take an ice cream from a little boy and cut the ribbon to his balloon so it flies away if that'll make you happy" - don't take more than other people can offer. But when you're in a spiral of depression and anger and shame, don't feel bad for relying on others and taking what you need to get back to a place of normalcy. You need time for YOU. --- One thing about the good guys that I've noticed: they always beg for mercy in the end. Now Playing: Minecraft <cite>MrMallard posted [p:953923167] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>I've been going through a similar sort of wringer TC, not on the same level as you've gone through and with a much quicker gestation cycle, but I can relate to what you're saying due to the relief giving way into shame and despondency. In my case, I confided in a friend of mine about a girl I liked for about a year - I decided I was gonna pursue her in June of last year, and that's when I started confiding in my friend. I admitted how I felt, she let me down easy - all good, so I started working to put that all out of my mind. I started getting a weird third wheel vibe, so one night when we were walking home from hers - our main friend group lives in the same house, so we're always going up to hang out - I tell him if there's something going on between them, I'd appreciate being told so I can distance myself and lessen any pain that it would out me through. He told me nothing was up. A couple months pass, during which I confide in him about how hard it is getting over her. I go up after being sick, and his arm's around her shoulders and they're cuddling under a blanket. Internally, I start freaking out - I'd accepted that she'd re-entered the dating world, but the thought of her with my friend was like the one most painful scenario imaginable, and I began to go downhill. Eventually I confronted him about it - the way I phrased it was "I'm not going to be made to feel like a third wheel any more". And he told me that she made a move on him and he was pursuing it. Initially, I was relieved to know that I wasn't losing my mind. I came to terms with what happened. But the next day, the depression and anger and feelings of betrayal kicked in - the way he phrased it had me making excuses for him doing something that fucking sucked and hurt me, and that's when it sunk in that I had confided in him about this girl for an entire fucking year before this happened. It fucking sucked. I'm still angry at him, because I wouldn't have done the same thing to him if I was in his shoes. Not really comparable to leaving your abuser, I know. But when I found out the truth, I was able to process the reality of the situation and come to terms that it was happening. I was genuinely okay for the rest of that day - I had beers with another friend and played pool, and I felt like I was on top of things. I spent the next week after that in bed. I didn't leave the house the entire time. I was upset and confused, I was angry, and I didn't know how to process how I felt. I at least appreciated that he had told me about it, but the next day I realised I had to confront him for him to tell me - so who knows how long this would have played out behind my back if I hadn't spoken up - and I realised that I had taken on this mindset of being the better person when I felt like I had been wronged. So why the fuck do I have to be the better person? Fuck them. It was the worst week in recent memory, and frankly I'm surprised and eternally grateful that it was only a week. I've gone through the same process in the past, and it's taken months of feeling like that before I've gotten better. I don't mean to equate our situations, or like make this all about me. But I wanted to let you know the thing that helped me get over this. Fuck everyone else's feelings, especially the people who've made you feel this bad. You need to make time for yourself. You're hurt and upset and you might feel like you're sinking - so you need to do whatever it takes to take care of yourself and make yourself feel better. Be selfish - be upset, let people know you're in pain, spread yourself over as much support as you can whether it be your online communities or your IRL support structure. And don't worry about being selfish - when you're in a place where you feel like you can stand on your own two feet, then you can worry about feeling selfish and you can consider paying people back for being there when you needed them. Until then, take what you need for you to feel better. That's not to say "take an ice cream from a little boy and cut the ribbon to his balloon so it flies away if that'll make you happy" - don't take more than other people can offer. But when you're in a spiral of depression and anger and shame, don't feel bad for relying on others and taking what you need to get back to a place of normalcy. You need time for YOU. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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butthole666 05/16/21 12:13:08 AM #46:	Conflict posted... Ngl TC, I remember a couple of years back when you were talking about this, and I was getting annoyed because you weren't immediately cutting contact with them/doing whatever you could to exit the relationship, but I do realize that was ignorant on my part because I've never been in your situation and for that I apologize. At first it was a lack of understanding how bad it really was, followed by hope that it could be better; for the past 2 years it was just straight up fear. Theres no way to fully understand how bad it is until you live it and I dont hold it against anyone for being frustrated that I was still in that shit for so long. --- "Kenan & Kel is what made me realize I wasn't racist." ~ NewportBox100s <cite>butthole666 posted [p:953953229] in The post-b... [t:79454658]...</cite> <quote>Conflict posted... </cite> <quote>Ngl TC, I remember a couple of years back when you were talking about this, and I was getting annoyed because you weren't immediately cutting contact with them/doing whatever you could to exit the relationship, but I do realize that was ignorant on my part because I've never been in your situation and for that I apologize.</quote>At first it was a lack of understanding how bad it really was, followed by hope that it could be better; for the past 2 years it was just straight up fear. Theres no way to fully understand how bad it is until you live it and I dont hold it against anyone for being frustrated that I was still in that shit for so long. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Current Events > The post-breakup mania is giving way to the trauma and depression (+) Yeah! (+)

Current Events > The post-breakup mania is giving way to the trauma and depression