Current Events > I think my relationship of six years is over

(+) Yeah! (+)

There are more jobs in music than just hitting it big

Just gotta get better at finding gigs

I'm the same way but my job isn't make or break. A regular desk job or something wouldn't cut it for me, but I'm also only an artist by hobby

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Smackems posted...

There are more jobs in music than just hitting it big

Just gotta get better at finding gigs

Absolutely, and I'm cool with that; nightowl doing gigs and then help run a recording studio or work tech.

I support myself 100% with gigs right now, but I think part of it is the drought and venue situation. The competition will be back when it's safe, and I'm not saving much money, it's a week to week life.

DrizztLink posted...

:(

But at times life is wicked and I just can't see the light.

Please know that you're one of the good ones and we cherish you

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ShyOx posted...

And you guys parted amicably? I don't want her to hate me for being me. I love her and she loves me... I don't want to see it go downhill to what I've seen happen.

We had a very amicable breakup. Polite texts and then she sent me a letter which led to more polite texts. We both apologized for things we said/did. Said it just wasn't right anymore and that we had known for a while. We emphasized that there was nothing wrong with what we were doing with our lives, just that our goals didn't align anymore. We were together 6 years as well, and had been on and off before that way longer. We honestly wish the best for each other. A lot of people say 6 years is a waste, but we both really had time to learn about ourselves through each other, and know more about what we really want in a partner.

Have hope bro. Sometimes it's just not in the cards.

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LookANinja posted...

We had a very amicable breakup. Polite texts and then she sent me a letter which led to more polite texts. We both apologized for things we said/did. Said it just wasn't right anymore and that we had known for a while. We emphasized that there was nothing wrong with what we were doing with our lives, just that our goals didn't align anymore. We were together 6 years as well, and had been on and off before that way longer. We honestly wish the best for each other. A lot of people say 6 years is a waste, but we both really had time to learn about ourselves through each other, and know more about what we really want in a partner.

Have hope bro. Sometimes it's just not in the cards.

Dude, thank you so much for this. I love this woman far more than I do myself. I wouldn't have traded a minute with her, and we're still living together and we might make it... but it doesn't feel like we will anymore.

Thank you again for the empathy. How you doing these days?

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ShyOx posted...

And I get that response, and I've tried other things and to do it other ways, but I'm just not happy.

It's absolutely irresponsible.

Tbh I didn't read your other posts when I posted this, but since you can provide for yourself it doesn't seem so bad. Probably the most important thing with relationships is that you're both on the same page and if you aren't, don't string the other along. Just make sure you're 100% sure and if not, have an exit plan.

Lol The reason you're gaining traction on TikTok is because that's how they retain people. They will inflate new users views to make them think they have an audience. All this info was found when they started data mining TikTok and found out all about the sketchy data gathering.

Chadwick69 posted...

Lol The reason you're gaining traction on TikTok is because that's how they retain people. They will inflate new users views to make them think they have an audience. All this info was found when they started data mining TikTok and found out all about the sketchy data gathering.

no surprise from a china company

ShyOx posted...

Please know that you're one of the good ones and we cherish you

:)

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You could always get a steady job doing something in the industry of music part time that you enjoy, that way your bringing in steady money and able to pursue your passion.

This is a compromise that keeps you happy, provides steady income, and shows her you still value the relationship.

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Its like Marco Pierre with his Michelin stars - why bother play a defending title game the rest of your life or why bother getting good to explain that to people who dont know anything about music? Im a musician myself and all my friends slowly dropped the thing because they had this idea that they could push music and follow through.. but thats not how it works, music will always follow you wherever you go as a musician whether thats in a person talking to you, a person listening to music, nature sounds, cars, etc.

Dont get me wrong, if shes not with it then shes not with it - but it seems like the only way youll know that is by getting whatever job and still working gigs. As a musician myself Im trying to buy myself a home to rent that bitch out, make profit off it, and then spend the rest of my days playing music (on top of doing it now) rent free lol

and if I ever get that but yer a landlord screwing people over Id happily reply hell yeah mf - I got music to be doing so they can totally keep paying my bills for the music

I mean if she was a source of music to you then that must mean something in terms of music right? Broken things are broken things though.. whats it worth fixing a bunch of broken pieces just to stare at a crooked image.. hopefully thats not where you find yourself.

Youd be amazed how so many people love the fact that you say I am a musician when they ask you what do you do.. No matter who or what.. I always make sure I state that my weird opinion is based on the fact that Im a musician and we so happen to improvise our mistakes and thoughts anyhow in the spirit of music

Many people respect that, in fact they find it weird youre not talking about your job, car, house, etc. and are talking to them about music or their favorite music

Sorry if my post comes across as crass or very insensitive... I find these things are better irl over guitars and cigarettes lol but with your amount of talent brodie the whole world is open to you, why not take advantage of seeing what things like jobs can offer you in terms of music?

TL;DR think about all the corny love music in the world, why let that era of music die?

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Sucks dude. I got dumped out of a 15 month relationship late last year...best of luck to you!

on't blame yourself, that's my best advice. Fuck her!

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"I love her more than anything and I'd give up all this to keep her, but I don't think it works that way. If I give up then I'm not me, if that makes sense. It's too much a part of who I am."

no, you don't love her more than anything. just end it if you care about pursuing whatever it is that you want rather than building a life together that you're both happy with

yeah the song is...umm...needs work...?

Fam_Fam posted...

"I love her more than anything and I'd give up all this to keep her, but I don't think it works that way. If I give up then I'm not me, if that makes sense. It's too much a part of who I am."

no, you don't love her more than anything. just end it if you care about pursuing whatever it is that you want rather than building a life together that you're both happy with

This.
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https://youtu.be/WLiRzpMZ1Ps
https://youtu.be/u5lGbPLDXp0

these were the only polished songs on your YouTube. I always hate calling myself a musician because the only money I make from guitar is teaching and the occasional busk but Im going to call myself one to qualify this.

these songs were both 2 years ago so a lot can change in 2 years but the fact of the manner is there is nothing interesting about just playing cowboy chords with mediocre rhythm/mediocre vocals. Your strumming is years away from where it needs to be (and use a pick mark knopfler)...theres no power or aura or feel. It feels like you memorized these 2 songs and are just trying to get through them.

if youre serious about becoming a musician you should be taking lessons. Based on what Ive seen youre nowhere near the level you think you are. I think you should follow your dreams still. People telling you to quit itt and just have it as a hobby are not likely to have achieved any of their dreams. How many musicians story are basically their family and friends begging them to quit or telling them theyll never make it? I see it on Wikipedia bios all the time. The only person who can make your dreams come true is you. The caveat is you cant lie about where you are on that journey because then youll never improve.

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lemondrop7 posted...

I think you should follow your dreams still. People telling you to quit itt and just have it as a hobby are not likely to have achieved any of their dreams.

While this is true, a hobby can be literally anything - people only win when they are able to convince you that something that is a 'hobby' doesn't involve real skill or slogs down to a point of no growth

Only you know the value of the work you do - to me 'success' was being a musician.. there is nothing in the world I wanna identify as (and I go to the gym, actively hike in the winter, date, make money, in school studying to have a degree) other than as a musician. I always wanted to have a band like The Doors, Black Sabbath, and Jimi Hendrix.. my happiness is in old BOOMERS telling me that my music sounds EXACTLY like it was born from that era.

I thought my job was honestly complete lol ocasionally you get someone from this generation who is hip and recognizes that and that to me is my new goal: to spread awareness of the past and past cultures

Seeds can grow out of music too y'know? Music doesn't end when the notes stop ringing

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What bugs me about the whole topic isn't that you're pushing barely more than minimum wage by choice as a 30 year old man doing something three times a week (what are you doing the other four days...).

But that you just completely outright assumed what your SO is thinking before even apparently talking to her about it. You should probably talk to her first and figure everything out and what she is thinking before jumping to conclusions like this it's my number one pet peeve

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RedJackson posted...

While this is true, a hobby can be literally anything - people only win when they are able to convince you that something that is a 'hobby' doesn't involve real skill or slogs down to a point of no growth

Only you know the value of the work you do - to me 'success' was being a musician.. there is nothing in the world I wanna identify as (and I go to the gym, actively hike in the winter, date, make money, in school studying to have a degree) other than as a musician. I always wanted to have a band like The Doors, Black Sabbath, and Jimi Hendrix.. my happiness is in old BOOMERS telling me that my music sounds EXACTLY like it was born from that era.

I thought my job was honestly complete lol ocasionally you get someone from this generation who is hip and recognizes that and that to me is my new goal: to spread awareness of the past and past cultures

Seeds can grow out of music too y'know? Music doesn't end when the notes stop ringing

i think from the hobby players I know irl they go weeks without touching it. Sometimes even a year. So I was referring to hobby more in that general sense of not practicing each day

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Apply for that assistance program Grimes is in.

Bruh you dont have to give up your dreams but I think you seriously need to reel yourself in a little bit. All that confidence is giving you a blind spot.

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Move to Nashville or some hipster city, women only want dudes with man buns, craft beer fetishes, and musical passions

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I honestly didnt feel anything listening to any of your songs, I struggle at understanding the words most of the time, you need to articulate better I think. The singing and guitar was sadly mediocre at best overall, singing was legit fairly bad in the first song you posted.

I could sugarcoat it but thats my perception and if youre going to go through with this its better to give it to you straight. I think this is not a great idea to just go all in on this, your girlfriend might be your greatest success yet and you will probably regret it if you end it.

You can most definitely enjoy a life filled with music while doing something else, most of the time anyway its not whatever you do at the job that dictates how happy or unhappy you are but the people you work with. Have a back up plan imo and keep doing music for now and give this a real shot but for the love of god give it really your all and get lessons.

Good luck I guess?

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Why are people here so miserable and hateful?

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So a woman who stood by your side the whole time hoping you grew up and realized your dream is a hobby you are going to cast aside because you are clawing to the fact that your hobby after all the years is magically going to be a viable career when the ship has sailed.

Okay.

I bet you won't regret that decision years from now.

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Playing open mics every Friday is not gigging.

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Corrik7 posted...

So a woman who stood by your side the whole time hoping you grew up and realized your dream is a hobby you are going to cast aside because you are clawing to the fact that your hobby after all the years is magically going to be a viable career when the ship has sailed.

Okay.

I bet you won't regret that decision years from now.

If he values his hobby/career more that is his choice, just because she is loyal does not mean he is worthy of that loyalty. It goes both ways, he might not deserve her if he is unwilling to compromise.

Yes she stayed when she could have left but it is also up to him to realize she has been patient and not pushy or direct for him to get his life in order.

Even if he was a single guy living paycheck to paycheck is not only a bad idea but he is too stupid to know he could be homeless living this way.

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RetsuZaiZen posted...

Why are people here so miserable and hateful?

Wouldn't say most people are miserable and hateful, just see the path the TC is heading down and trying to help him towards a better one.

No one's saying he should give up music. It's great to have interests and passions.

It's just freaky to me that he's trying to define how his partner feels without actually having real confirmation about that, and jumping to big conclusions. And not having any money in your savings for retirement or being able to raise kids or something it's just... giving me shivers personally.

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RetsuZaiZen posted...

Why are people here so miserable and hateful?

TC needed a slap of reality to hopefully keep him from making a big mistake.

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Im sorry youre hurting but it sounds like shes making the right decision here. You would rather prioritize your music career than build a life with her.

My sister married the musician type too. He quit his job almost 2 years ago to pursue music full time. It never went anywhere. Hes talented but not enough to make it as big as he thinks he is. Shes been carrying the financial burden for years. She wants a house and kids, works her butt off every day pulling 6 figures, while he sleeps in til noon every day. I think they hit a wall because I know shes been unhappy for a while and she shared that they started marriage counseling. He finally got a new day job doing customer service. Hes not giving up on music but he will at least have a steady job instead of mooching off her.

Your goals right now are different and youre not willing to compromise while she has given you a chance for years. Youre both simply incompatible.

Nashville OP

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The fact hes unwilling to compromise and get a part time job is the part that really shows he does not actually love her. Part time work will give him plenty of time to pursue his music, but also provide a stable income.


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If she'd like a man with a more stable income and kids someday, yeah, she needs to absolutely bail from you. I don't see any reason (based on post #1 and skimming) for TC to break up with his girl.

I'd give up all this to keep her,

Then have a discussion about what you both want and need out of this relationship and go from there.
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RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted...

The fact hes unwilling to compromise and get a part time job is the part that really shows he does not actually love her. Part time work will give him plenty of time to pursue his music, but also provide a stable income.

He can easily find another girl that doesn't care about his financial status

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I mean tbf I'm assuming tc and his gf have talked about this on and off for years and especially in the months since he quit his 'dayjob'


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@JBaLLEN66
I think most people would have a problem with a person who is ok with living paycheck to paycheck.

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Sounds like you should rethink your priorities, OP. There's a reason all of my friends who pursue a career in music have other opportunities going for them on the side. Not everyone makes it in the music industry and you should have back up plan in case that happens to you. My buddy works for a tech company and makes decent money while still doing shows with his band in the local area. You can have both.

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JBaLLEN66 posted...

He can easily find another girl that doesn't care about his financial status

Youd be surprised brodie, lots of girls have a checklist they check off or make one up later just to have one.. lol

Looks are on that list, status (job) is somewhere near, having their own place is a big one, and political beliefs

I check em all off but I think its a load of phooey - I am trying to find a vagabond girl who wants to throw it all away like me someday but those are extremely rare

The line between stupidity and bravery is so fine that I dont blame anyone for not wanting to do that >_>


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RedJackson posted...

The line between stupidity and bravery is so fine that I dont blame anyone for not wanting to do that >_>

I don't think it's that hard to discern here ... tc just doesn't want to work for the man. The music thing seems more like an excuse to me. I mean, literally, he quit his job long before he started taking his music more seriously (near the start of the pandemic vs the last two months)

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RedJackson posted...

Youd be surprised brodie, lots of girls have a checklist they check off or make one up later just to have one.. lol

Looks are on that list, status (job) is somewhere near, having their own place is a big one, and political beliefs

I check em all off but I think its a load of phooey - I am trying to find a vagabond girl who wants to throw it all away like me someday but those are extremely rare

The line between stupidity and bravery is so fine that I dont blame anyone for not wanting to do that >_>

I mean he's not going to qualify for every woman, but if he's good-looking and can carry a good sob story he'll easily find a girl in Nashville tn lol. Is op white cause if he's not then don't go to Nashville lol.

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Balrog0 posted...

I mean tbf I'm assuming tc and his gf have talked about this on and off for years and especially in the months since he quit his 'dayjob'

This. I think people are a bit too happy jumping on the train lol

For those who said otherwise, Im paid to play, these arent fucking open mics lol, and then you make tips on top of it. My content is dated but whatever YouTube is a poor platform for musicians who dont have a gimmick like covering lord of the rings parodies, Im not asking for critique or affirmation on this stuff. When you play for four hours a night to a packed house you already get that.

I DID the day job and the music thing, I already did the compromise; I was making bank doing both but it was exhausting and I hated it. I was miserable. You dont go from being a carpenter busting ass to playing a four hour gig three times a week and feel happy about it, youre far too tired to care. You get off at 5, you have to be at the venue at 6:30 and you dont get done until 11. By the time you get home its 12 and you have to be up at 7. And thats twice a week and you dont get a day off because youre going to be playing Saturday and Sunday. At what points do you practice, record, get the band together? Then you have to do all your own managing and booking... People are overlooking the logistics; this is not a hobby, this is a job. Its already paying the bills.

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Balrog0 posted...

I don't think it's that hard to discern here ... tc just doesn't want to work for the man. The music thing seems more like an excuse to me. I mean, literally, he quit his job long before he started taking his music more seriously (near the start of the pandemic vs the last two months)

Mmm... youve got a point. I was in the same boat and made the stupid ass decision to have my degree in music >_>

Waste of time, like its great if you wanna get work in an orchestra (that would be phenomenal tbh) or score movies but other than that music is a thing where its the quality of your work.. your taste, your phrasing - things you cant learn by going to school are your credentials. A degree wont save you from sticking out in a crowd of musicians at that point.

Switched over to Education in hopes that I get a job working in public schools to teach music.. but I figured let me buy property, rent it out, and then have all the time in the world to figure my degree

I dont mind getting into school debt with an entry level teaching job already having income coming in between whatever jobs until that settles

Had to acknowledge and take that hit to my ego to get on track somewhere..


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Balrog0 posted...

I don't think it's that hard to discern here ... tc just doesn't want to work for the man. The music thing seems more like an excuse to me. I mean, literally, he quit his job long before he started taking his music more seriously (near the start of the pandemic vs the last two months)

Im talking specifically about trying to make this into something bigger; its been my income almost the entire pandemic.


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ShyOx posted...

You dont go from being a carpenter busting ass to playing a four hour gig three times a week and feel happy about it, youre far too tired to care. You get off at 5, you have to be at the venue at 6:30 and you dont get done until 11. By the time you get home its 12 and you have to be up at 7. And thats twice a week and you dont get a day off because youre going to be playing Saturday and Sunday

Haha thats my life brodie, I just got a job working at a COVID center to try and make my life easier.. hopefully it puts me towards some easy ass desk job to keep building up wealth on top of stocks. I sleep 5 hours on the daily just so I have extra hours to play guitar (since High School). I mean, do it if it makes you happy. Just know you can probably do EVERYTHING being equipped with that kind of talent. >_>

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ShyOx posted...

This. I think people are a bit too happy jumping on the train lol

For those who said otherwise, Im paid to play, these arent fucking open mics lol, and then you make tips on top of it. My content is dated but whatever YouTube is a poor platform for musicians who dont have a gimmick like covering lord of the rings parodies, Im not asking for critique or affirmation on this stuff. When you play for four hours a night to a packed house you already get that.

I DID the day job and the music thing, I already did the compromise; I was making bank doing both but it was exhausting and I hated it. I was miserable. You dont go from being a carpenter busting ass to playing a four hour gig three times a week and feel happy about it, youre far too tired to care. You get off at 5, you have to be at the venue at 6:30 and you dont get done until 11. By the time you get home its 12 and you have to be up at 7. And thats twice a week and you dont get a day off because youre going to be playing Saturday and Sunday. At what points do you practice, record, get the band together? Then you have to do all your own managing and booking... People are overlooking the logistics; this is not a hobby, this is a job. Its already paying the bills.

you can do your thing man but youre not going to make it by just doing it more. Ive never heard of someone intentionally putting their worst content on YouTube because its a bad platform but youve literally given us nothing else to look at. And what you have is bad Im sorry but theres no other way to say it. Ive played and seen players all over Maryland. There is not a bar you would be hired at to play based on the 4 videos you have.

I want you to keep following your dream. I didnt say go get a day job. I said take some lessons and improve. I honestly want to know where you play or if youre just hiding your real content because this is ludicrous to me as a musician

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ShyOx posted...

Im talking specifically about trying to make this into something bigger; its been my income almost the entire pandemic.

yeah, I understand, I read the topic.

if youre getting paid work three times a week and it sustains your lifestyle, what's the issue your girlfriend has?


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what I mean is, if you can get consistent work and it pays the bills, you could just be more frugal in your lifestyle if finances are the issue?

it doesn't sound like lifestyle is her problem...

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lemondrop7 posted...

you can do your thing man but youre not going to make it by just doing it more. Ive never heard of someone intentionally putting their worst content on YouTube because its a bad platform but youve literally given us nothing else to look at. And what you have is bad Im sorry but theres no other way to say it. Ive played and seen players all over Maryland. There is not a bar you would be hired at to play based on the 4 videos you have.

I want you to keep following your dream. I didnt say go get a day job. I said take some lessons and improve. I honestly want to know where you play or if youre just hiding your real content because this is ludicrous to me as a musician

None of this is in my EPK. Im known by reputation in a town thats known for music more than almost any other in the country; Ill get together some more content but Ive had it in the past with a full band and it felt pointless, we never got any traction on the platform. Before I go whole hog on YouTube theres going to be some research into the algorithm this time because what weve done before hasnt worked. Instagram and other platforms all see more traction

Like I said none of this was for validation, if someone else isnt willing to put their skills onto the table on here then Im not going to take critique from people, Im sorry but thats the truth. You can say I play too but Im not going to take people at face value unless they can prove theyve got better than what meager content I have on YouTube.

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